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dankdandelion · 2 years

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some thoughts just keep on clinging onto you, no matter where you are, who you’re with, or what time of the day it might be. disclosing the thought right now, um, well that’d be giving it to you right away. but then i end up giving in easily most of the time, so here we go.

“does home really exist?”

i’ve never really felt at home in a very long time now, and it makes me wonder if i ever did. and i don’t want to come to an impulsive conclusion, and say no, because i want to believe that the eight year old me did have a home. she did feel safe, loved, warm, and appreciated, and she did call it home.

keeping all the philosophical theories about how home is not a place, but a person ( or people ), i’d like to say that home can be a place too. some places just feel safer than others, they feel more accepting, more consoling than others. but no place has felt like home in a while.

now let’s come to people, i don’t have people who feel like home, and confessing this, it is full of guilt, because there are people who believe they love me, and i want to believe them, and i do, but what if i do not feel at home with them? what if i try, but i cannot?

but then am i doing it right? am i pursuing a wrong direction? because what if home is not what is outside of me, not what is encompassing me, but it being inside of me instead, it being myself.

and that feels like a relief, as well as a responsibility. relief because there’s no need to hunt anymore, and responsibility because the hunt is over. but then it means there was never a hunt, it was just an excuse, to give away the responsibility. it feels like i’ve failed myself, because how come have i made myself feel homeless? how did i end up feeling homeless in the first place, when i was at home all along?

it’s like being both the criminal, and the victim of your very own case. even the jury, it’s me, and that’s the hardest part.

but now that i’ve found home, should i stop searching? i don’t want to blankly confess that i never looked for it, and even if i did, i’d be lying if i told you that i don’t want to be home, because it’s the only thing i’d ever wanted. to be at home, to feel at home. that’s what i’ve always dreamt of.

and now, with each breath i take, i ask myself, “is it worth it?”, everything, is it worth breathing for, because i do have a home, but i still am homeless, or maybe that’s what the breathing is for, to ignite homeliness within me, to make me feel home again, to be my home, my only home.

~ ks //

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gofubar-blog · 1 year

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I went to protest yesterday. 38 lives were taken by the fire in a factory in Anyang, Henan province. The fire was started by accident but the ongoing lockdown delayed the rescue and exacerbated the situation. The rest of the world has been out of pandemic but China gets stuck on its zero-Covid policy. People probably won’t die of Covid . Instead they become collateral damage due to strict lockdowns. Patients with emergent situations are not allowed get out of the quarantine zone to get the medical help they need. Medical staffs are exhausted by endless nuclei lucid test which is swabbing people’s throat. What a joke. People can do antigen test with test kits by themselves why bother doctors and nurses? What a joke. Then Chinese people went to streets to mourn for the deceased and condemned the government’s wrong doings.Though police harassment and brutality was expected, people chanted their demands for freedom bravely. No more lockdown, no more nuclei acid test.

#story of my life #daily notes #daily log #everydaystoriesblog

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princess-nerdy-kitty · 1 year

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I was out taking a walk with my dad recently. As we were walking, I came across this saying on the wall. I couldn’t help but stop and get a photo of it…it hit me and reminded me it takes work to get where I want to be. 😊👆🏻

#personal story #everydaystoriesblog #real life #love this quote #quotes

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c--h-i-k-u · 2 years

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#When i miss you. -

#i love her #big mood #love #i miss u #everydaystoriesblog #moodygrams #forearms #forever #stranger things #feelings

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n4cp4n4-suk4 · 2 years

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Upały dały mi jasno i wyraźnie do zrozumienia, że muszę się zmienić bo nie wytrzymam w piekle. 🥵

#my

~ (via @n4cp4n4-suk4 )

#fucking hell #piekło #upały #cytaty #cytat na dziś #blog z cytatami #new blog #blog post #everydaystoriesblog

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themiserablegirlinher20s · 2 years

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Uncomfortable

Soooooo...

This is my first ever post so I doubt anyone is going to read this. But I recently have discovered how unbelievably uncomfortable I am around men. I have never had a bad experience with men, no daddy issues here. I find myself no matter what situation I am in with a man so awkward and unbearable. Take romance out of the equation and I'm still nervous around them. Does It make any sense, no, do I care? Eh... maybe. I want someone, and I would like to get married someday, maybe have kids. But I can't do any of that till I find a man.

Damn it.

#dating #she/her #i am uncomfy #so uncomfy #uncomfortable #hello my twenties #i hate everything #everydaystoriesblog #tumblrr #tmblr #tumblrgram #tumblrs #tumblraesthetic #tamblr #tumblrfeed #tumblrposts #tumblr👽#tumblrpost

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grandgladiatormusic · 2 years

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Esse caranguejo ele e canibal

#canibalism #everydaystoriesblog #human nature

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driftingfeathermuses · 2 years

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Has anyone ever just fallen in love with how random people look? Like today I was in the metro, the sun shined into the eyes of the middle aged lady sitting opposite to me and I was mesmerized by them. They looked like pools of caramel. It looked like if tears were ever to come out of those eyes, they'd be sweet like honey. She looked tired, like the world wasn't always kind to her. But here she was, sitting in a metro travelling to a destination unknown to me. I could only see her eyes because the rest of her face was covered by a white mask. She was slight, swaying along with the motions of the train. Her hair like feathers, pinned back with little wisps of it escaping to frame her tiny face, also glittering in the sunlight. She was the only one looking out of the window while everyone else was on their phones. And it was because she was looking out that the sun hit her face so perfectly, creating an almost ethereal beauty out of an everyday traveller. It was that beauty that I fell in love with.

#beauty #writing #everydaystoriesblog #dreamy #travel #indian women #stories #everyday life

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my-stylosophy · 2 years

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Today is a good to do something cute/ great/adventurous/cool

#like yeah #today in history #everydaystoriesblog #everyday life #current mood #moodbooster #simple reminders #mystyle #fashion #amazing #runway #love #like

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dankdandelion · 2 years

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so we’ve always read about how writing, or any form of art for that matter, is a form of expression. a form of pouring out your heart, and letting out of its pulp and rawness.

but have we ever read, or written, or heard, or talked about the considerations one might have while doing so? out of the thousand thoughts that might stop an artist from letting their passion flow, one of them is this argument in them, - will any person, who ever happens to stumbles upon my piece of work ever perceive it the way i do?

whenever a person gives birth to any form of art, their face has a certain expression, their soul has a certain emotion, their heart beats a certain way, their mind beams with different ideas, their art becomes a concoction of every little piece of what they are at that moment. and will it ever occur, that someone, someday, out there, feel the same, and become a coalesce of it.

this for a matter of fact, is a futile desire, cause every person in existence will have a different blend of emotions whenever they witness something, and even though some of them might aling with the creator, it might result in a complete different embodiment of its own.

you see how the same coffee bean can be used to define different types of this beverage you’ll happen to taste, just depending upon its concentration, and the amount of milk and water, and sugar being used. can you relate with me here?

today morning, an old friend texted me one of their poems, and asked me if it made me feel anything, to which i agreed. i also happened to tell them what i grasped from it, to which they told me, it was different from the actual idea they had, and we talked about how beautiful it is, every person who consumes art, has their own unique way, which makes it so beautiful, and precious, and pure.

another thought which made my heart feel heavy, and saturated - isn’t it the same with love?

it’s a single word, it’s a single emotion, yet has endless number of ways, and boundless depths to it. and this makes me both ecstatic, as well as melancholic.

ecstatic because i had my own way of loving you, my ways of showing how blood rushed through my veins whenever i thought of you, my ways of confessing my passion for you, my ways of affirming my devotion, my ways of surrendering, my ways of helplessness, my ways of being fond, my ways of holding on, my ways of loving you, my ways of still clasping onto it, so tight that i’ll succumb if i ever slacken the grip.

melancholic because i wonder if you ever felt the same way? was your existence swayed the same way as mine? was your faith amended the same way as mine?

of course you had your own ways, but did you ever sheerly absorb mine?

i’m scared here because maybe i never did yours, it’s not like i didn’t want to, but i had my own ways of devouring, just like you had yours.

and even though i stick to my latte most days, i still adore your recipe of cappuccino the same, and would savour it anytime, any day, irrespective of the caffeine kick it’d end up giving me. and no matter what hour it is, i’d make you a very warm, and soothing latte, just as divine as you are.

~ ks//

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airytogetherx · 2 years

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do you ever get a moment of anger? an unexpected breakdown out of nowhere, an indescribable feeling of needing to cry, looking for a reason or exaggerating the one that's already there in order to explain to yourself why you're having one of those

moments?

feeling irritation towards the loved one although they simply haven't replied to you for a few hours but you're thinking they have forgotten your entire existence

the loneliness that comes with it feels as if the walls are breaking down brick by brick and there is no one that could possibly hold all of those together to stop them from destroying themselves

after a few minutes of the overwhelming amount of mixed emotions flowing over and through you, you sit down

you breathe on that little edge of your bed

you close your eyes and then open them and all of a sudden this anger, this irritation is gone and you're thankful that you haven't messaged anyone with a cry for help or that you haven't hit anyone with all of those emotions that were flooding you

you feel yourself again

you feel balanced

you feel a relief

you realise that the problems that were created by those feelings didn't actually exist and that you are okay

you are not lonely and you are loved

the world is not falling apart, but what if my sanity is?

what has just happened?

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notmetilldawn · 3 years

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Helloooooo Guys,

First Sorry as I forgot that I had to post and then Thank You for being patient

Last week started really good and then really unexpected and bad things started happening .

On 11th October,

It was pretty sunny (around 5 in the evening) on my way to the nearby park and saw a beautiful butterfly roaming by on small plants aside the road and just went towards it, crouched and raised my hands hoping it'd sit and fortunately it did, I was quite delighted.

Then the next day and the day after it went like every other boring day

And then on Thursday, October 14th

My cousin brother from my maternal relative side arrived, coincidentally he had his SSC examination centre located in our city and that day also went up pretty busy

The next day i.e. on October 15th, it was Vijaydashmi / The End of Durga Pooja and for the first time I went out with friends to explore the Pandals, to be true our main aim was food, actually in the 9 days of Navratras we don't consume any onion on garlic based food and even any kind of non veg food, So under the disguise of exploring Pandal we went out and had a feast and that night we enjoyed pretty well.

But from Saturday My bad luck took over, I loved long hairs and was patiently growing it since last 3 months (Before moving forward lemme tell you, I keep a middle part typical eastern asian type of hair) and my mumma asked me to get an haircut so I decided to get a similar haircut like a Two block korean hairstyle and to not take any risk, I changed my salon and went to the best rated salon in my hometown but it came out totally opposite, the barber trimmed out my temples really short and and did an one sided haircut, (that's the worst haircut I've ever had till date) it felt like as if he had personal grudges with me but still that wasn't enough of bad luck when I returned home at first everyone started laughing but then everyone went down and asked me to get myself buzzed and I only know how had I convinced them to not make it worse by getting it buzzed. After that in the evening, while on my way home from the nearby grocery store I hurted my hand severely, Actually I've a habit to hit every branch peaking out of houses just like a volleyball and that day on my way home I didn't noticed it had thorny branches and I just hitted and grabbed the branches and you can imagine what could've happened 😂😂 But still it wasn't enough of bad luck then I decided to rest, When I went to lay on my bed, by mistake instead of the pillow I hit my head on the wooden part of the bed 😂 it hurted again, And then I went to the nearby park, and don't know who the hell made his dog poop in the park and it wasn't visible and I stepped on it wearing the shoes I recently washed 😂.

Then on the next day on Sunday it was raining outside so I was juggling the football in my room and by mistake I kicked it pretty hard and it was gonna hit the dressing mirror and to prevent it to do so I ran and barely got my finger between the mirror and the glass and it hitted my index finger in the glass and it was hurting pretty bad

(Let you know previously also around 2 years ago I broke the glass of the dressing mirror and was scolded 😂)

And then really unexpected thing happened, In the evening I was alone in the park and it was really dark and I was on the swing alone listening to the song "Water Fountain" and suddenly the swing beside me also started to move and slowly it started moving synchronising the way mine was moving as if something's beside me sitting in the swing and moved exactly the way mine was moving fr and then somehow gathered the courage to touch it and as I was going to touch it physically , lightning and thunderstorms strated and my stomach started feeling uneasy but exactly at the moment as I jumped my friends arrived , it might sound fiction but it happened for real even before also me and my whole family have experienced spiritual activity

And today also, i.e. 18th October it again started pretty bad Actually today, After brushing my teeth I used my mouthwash (which isn't necessary, on an estimated basis I use it once in a week or two) and almost swallowed it by mistake and it tasted really bad and Still my mouth smells like fluoride

#everydaystoriesblog #memories #tumblr diary #my diary #diary #lifestyle #bad luck

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ayushtic · 3 years

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I have got the least left with me to offer those who need it occasionally as a substitute for their usual givers.

I have got just enough to offer those who genuinely need it, no matter what day of the month it is or what hour of the day.

Call it symbiosis or reservation but it is what it is.

Limiting the giver side comes sooner or later in everyone's life. Taking must also be limited simultaneously. Every limitation is fruitful in life.

Reduce the radius to reap the best of your relations.

Good night folks!!

#words #artists on tumblr #quotes #mental health #self love #positivity #lifeprotips #life quotes #lifelessons #lessons learned #excerpt from a book i'll never write #vintage everyday #everydaystoriesblog #new blog #captionplus #poetry

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