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#everyone already knows jake peralta but I’m gonna say him anyway
sodacowboy · 3 years
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people with adhd are jocks like even if they’re not physically or mentally a jock they’re a jock in spirit
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myriadimagines · 3 years
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Chips and Orange Soda
Brooklyn Nine-Nine One Shot
Pairing: Reader x Jake Peralta
Other Characters: Raymond Holt, Rosa Diaz
Warnings: theft
Summary: When a series of bodegas are robbed, Holt assigns Jake and Rosa on the case. You, a cashier, become a suspect, but Jake has a gut feeling that you’re not a suspect at all. In fact, he thinks you’re the key to solving the case. 
Part Two: Chips and Orange Soda (part ii)
Word Count: 2,697
A/N: my submission for @locke-writes​​‘ writing challenge! i know everyone wanted me to post the whole fic at once but then it ended up being 5k+ words i made the executive decision that it was probably best for everyones sanity to split it up into 2 parts. think of it as a commercial break in the episode <3 i’m gonna disclaimer this by saying that i’m not a cop or in law enforcement. idk how this shit works. i tried my best but this isn’t legally accurate. anyway! based on the prompt: “You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.” 
reblog/feedback/comments are very much appreciated!!!
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“Not late! I’m not late!” Jake announces, rushing into the briefing room with his bag still slung over his shoulder. He ignores the eye rolls from Amy and Terry, and plops down in the seat Charles has saved for him. He leans back, dumping his bag on the floor as he tries to catch his breath, before noticing Holt’s disapproving stare. “I’m not! Look, I’m right on time!”
Jake points over at the clock hanging on the wall, and Holt glances over his shoulder before turning back to Jake. “You’re fifteen minutes late, Peralta. That clock broke down two days ago.”
Jake takes a proper look at the clock, which, sure enough, is frozen at three minutes past two o’clock. 
“Okay, well…” Jake cringes. “I had a flat tire?” 
“As I was saying,” Holt ignores Jake’s excuse, reorganizing the case files on the podium as the squad quickly focuses. Pulling up a few pictures on the television, Holt curtly explains, “Two bodegas were robbed last night, and we suspect it may be the same person, or group or people, who robbed the three bodegas last week. Thankfully, no one was injured, but we need to crack down on this case before it happens again.” 
The squad nods in agreement, and Amy taps her pen against the desk as she takes notes. Gesturing towards Rosa, Holt asks, “Diaz, you were investigating last week’s robberies. Where are you in solving the case?”
“Nowhere, sir.” Rosa begrudgingly admits, folding her arms across her chest as she shakes her head. “Forensics dusted the place for prints but found nothing, and the security footage was crap. Couldn’t pull any good images because it was so old. All I know is that it looks like at least two individuals are involved.” 
Holt slowly nods, pressing his lips together as he deliberates this. Pointing at Jake, he orders, “Conduct some interviews around the block, see if anyone saw anything. Perhaps you’ll have more luck this time. And take Peralta with you, you’ll be able to cover more ground. Everyone, you’re dismissed.” 
Jake looks over his shoulder to exchange a nod with Rosa before everyone gets to their feet. Holt closes up his file, and quickly stops Jake before he can leave the room, “Oh, and Jake?”
Jake pauses in the doorway. “Yes, sir?” 
“While you’re out, you can get some new batteries for the clock.” Holt points back at the defunct clock. Raising an eyebrow, Holt continues, “So next time, you can actually take a look at how late you are.” 
Beside him, Amy can’t help but snort at Jake’s expense, and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. 
Jake jogs over to the bodega, a cup of coffee in hand from the nearby food cart. He ducks under the police tape bordering the store, and he gingerly steps around the shattered glass scattered on the pavement. He can already see Rosa inside, taking off her sunglasses and hooking them on the collar of her shirt, and he can see that the forensics team have already marked up the scene. Rosa looks up as Jake approaches, and she informs him, “This one’s different from the others; they actually broke in instead of picking the lock. Otherwise, they took all the cash, and it doesn’t look like anything from the inventory was taken.” 
“Which is kinda weird, considering this place has pretty cool chip flavors and orange soda.” Jake points to a nearby shelf, and Rosa shoots him a look. Shrugging, Jake looks at the rest of the shelves and the fridge as he mumbles to himself, “I’m just saying.” 
“Security footage from this whole week is missing too.” Rosa continues. She groans, shaking her head as she takes another glance around the scene. “I don’t know how we’re going to get anywhere with this.”
The two of them make their way back outside, where a small crowd is now lingering outside the store, curiously trying to peek inside as the cops try to corral everyone. Pointing at them, Rosa suggests, “Maybe we can find a witness.” 
Jake follows her gaze, quickly sweeping over the individuals before his gaze lands on you. Your eyes momentarily meet, but you quickly look away and turn your attention back to the smashed glass. You’re cute, Jake thinks to himself with a grin, all bundled up in a denim jacket that, and when you turn to look at something over your shoulder, he can’t help but notice has a cool design of some planets stitched on the back. Rolling back his shoulders, Jake holds out his cup of coffee, and he says, “Allow me to handle this, Rosa,” 
Rosa rolls her eyes at the annoyingly confident tone Jake quickly adopts, and pointedly refuses to hold Jake’s coffee for him.
“Alright then,” Jake awkwardly takes his coffee back, and he gulps down the rest, fanning his tongue as it burns his mouth. Tossing it aside into a nearby trash can, Jake quickly composes himself, readjusting his jacket before approaching you. He offers you his hand, and you hesitate before shaking it, and Jake introduces, “Hey, I’m Detective Peralta. Cool jacket, by the way.”
“y/n.” you introduce yourself with a small smile, shaking his hand before you pull away to self consciously tug at the sleeves of your jacket. “And thanks. My friend made it for me as a birthday gift.”
“Nice,” Jake grins at you, before gesturing over his shoulder. “You come here often? It’s a pretty awesome bodega.”
“Uh, well, I work here.” you slowly respond, and you can see something in Jake’s expression falter as his cheeks get red. You bite back a smile as you continue, “So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”
“Cool, cool, cool, cool,” Jake nods, fumbling to come up with a response. His palms suddenly feel sweaty, and he scrambles to think of his next question. 
“I’ll let our owner know, by the way.” you pipe up, and Jake blinks at you. Nervously chuckling, you add, “That you think the bodega is awesome. He’ll appreciate it.” 
“Oh!” Jake laughs, and you can’t help but smile. Gesturing to the store, Jake continues, “I’ve gotta say, your snack selection is the best I’ve ever seen. I mean, you’ve got every flavor of everything in there! Also, any place that carries orange soda is automatically awesome in my book.” 
“Well of course,” you respond with a smile. “It’s the best flavor!” 
“Right?!” Jake perks up, and the both of you dissolve into laughter before Jake looks over his shoulder and notices Rosa glaring at him. Quickly clamming up, Jake attempts to focus himself, and his eyes widen as he remembers the fact that you work here. “Are you the cashier or something?”
“Yep.” you nod, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your jacket. “I just worked yesterday, too. I can’t believe someone robbed it last night.” 
“What time were you here until?” Jake asks. 
“The shop closes around midnight, and I was the one who locked up.” you answer, shifting your weight from one foot to another. Jake can’t help but notice as you momentarily break his gaze, and you glance at the store before back at him. “Usually our owner, Gabriel, closes up, but he’s been sick this past week, so I’ve been helping out.”
“Got it,” Jake nods, mentally taking note of all this information. The both of you look up as Rosa joins in on the conversation, and Jake continues, “And I’m assuming you didn’t see any sign of suspicious activity before you left?”
You shake your head, uneasily glancing over at Rosa as she looks at you. “Sorry, Detective.” 
“No, you’ve actually been super helpful.” Jake reassures you, and he offers you a friendly smile that puts you at ease. You relax, and Jake continues, “It helps us roughly estimate when the crime took place. Do you know anything about your security footage, by the way? This is my partner, Detective Diaz, and she noticed the footage was somehow erased.” 
Something in your expression shifts, and Jake can’t quite read the look on your face. Rosa narrows her eyes at you, and after a pause, you respond, “I think our cameras have been down.” 
Jake and Rosa exchange an uncertain glance, and you can feel your stomach twisting into knots as you know they don’t look convinced. The atmosphere becomes intense, especially as you feel yourself under Rosa’s stern gaze, and Jake quickly tries to lighten the mood as he tells you, “I think that’s it. Thanks for answering our questions, y/n.”
You nod, and Jake’s eyebrows furrow as your gaze lingers on him, your lips moving as if you want to tell him more. But you stop yourself, taking in a deep breath, before responding, “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.” 
You turn on your heel, and Jake watches as you head down the block. He looks over to see Rosa studying you, before she shakes her head. “I don’t like it, Jake. They seemed suspicious to me.”
“They were just nervous.” Jake finds himself defending you. “And probably a little frazzled, too. They were the last one in the shop, if they had stayed any longer, they could’ve been in danger.” 
“Or they could have something to do with the crime.” Rosa counteracts, and Jake lets out a sigh. Leaning towards him, Rosa continues, “I know we don’t have solid evidence, but I just have a feeling something’s up, Jake. Plus, it doesn’t help that you were flirting.” 
Jake gapes at her. “I was not flirting!” 
“Look, we need to solve this before Holt gets on my case about it.” Rosa insists. Jake lets out a sigh, before glancing down the direction you walked, and he can just barely see your figure heading into the subway station. 
“I’ll be right back.” Jake tells her, and before Rosa can stop him, he jogs after you. By the time he’s entered the station, he’s terribly out of breath, and he manages to catch you before you enter through the turnstile. “y/n!”
You look up upon hearing your name and you pause as Jake stops in front of you. He bends over, trying to catch his breath, and you patiently wait for him. Through heavy breaths, Jake manages to puff out, “Yeah, sorry, super unfit. The chips and the orange soda clearly don’t help.” 
Jake tries his best not to cringe at what he feels like is the lamest joke he’s ever made, but to his surprise, you laugh. A genuine laugh, not a cruel, teasing one, but one with a wide smile that makes Jake feel like he’s on top of the world. Tilting your head, you manage to say in between chuckles, “You’re pretty funny, Detective.” 
“Call me Jake.” Jake insists, finally regaining his breath, and you grin at him. “Hey, any chance I could get your number? For professional reasons of course, in case we need to contact you again. Or I could just give you my number if you feel better doing it that way.”
You seem hesitant, but you nod. He fumbles through his pocket, pulling out an old receipt and a pen that barely has enough ink in it, and you scribble out your number before handing it back to him, “I work every day but Tuesdays, too, so you’ll be able to catch me at work if you need me.” 
“Got it.” Jake nods, tucking the receipt into his pocket. “Thanks for your help, y/n.”
The expression that Jake can’t decipher crosses your face again, a look of pensiveness, of hesitation. But you shake it off, quickly plastering on a smile, and you nod, “Have a good day, Jake. And… good luck.” 
Jake and Rosa sit in the break room, a laptop open between them as they flip through countless CCTV videos from the blocks nearby the bodega. Rosa becomes increasingly aggressive with the keyboard with each video she clicks through, and Jake impatiently shakes his head. He groans, rubbing his fingers up against his temple as he complains, “This is killing me. If I have to look at one more minute of another grainy video, I’m going to lose it.”
Rosa rolls her eyes, leaning back in her chair as she folds her arms across her chest. She kicks Jake’s chair with her boot, and she points out, “This is all we have, Jake.”
Jake sighs, but nods. Rosa had interviewed some people in the neighboring apartments, some of which reported hearing smashed glass around three in the morning, but hadn’t called it in on the assumption it was a clumsy accident from a downstairs neighbor. It at least gave them a time of the crime, but as Rosa unfortunately pointed out, it didn’t give them much else. The CCTV didn’t seem to pick up on anything interesting, no speeding cars, and a brief moment of footage that might’ve captured the suspects only showed their retreating backs. The forensics team had also swept over all the evidence from the bodega, but had yet to find anything incriminating, not even a single fingerprint which could help lead the investigation somewhere. 
“These guys clearly know what they were doing.” Rosa grumbles, jabbing her finger into the screen. “They know to avoid all the camera spots.” 
“I hate smart criminals. Why can’t they all be dumb and just make it easier for us?” Jake whines, and Rosa rolls her eyes. 
“Have you talked to y/n lately?” Rosa asks, and Jake shakes his head, hoping Rosa doesn’t notice the faint blush that lights up his cheeks at the mere mention of your name.
“No, Rosa, who do you think I am? That’s way too forward.” Jake scoffs, before his expression turns serious. It’s been a little over a week since your interaction, and he looks at Rosa before continuing, “Unless you don’t think it’s too forward. Should I text them?”
Rosa resists the urge to punch Jake’s arm, and she deadpans, “Talked to them about the case, Jake, not for a date.” 
“Right.” Jake nods, clearly flustered, and Rosa rolls her eyes again. Wiping his slightly sweaty palms on his jeans, Jake corrects himself, “No, I haven’t talked to y/n.”
Rosa leans her elbows forward on the desk. “I think we should call them in again. You know, see if there’s anything we can get out of them. Kind it seems like they’re the only lead we have.”
“You don’t still suspect them, do you?” Jake asks, eyebrows furrowing, and he lets out a sigh as Rosa shrugs. Shaking his head, Jake insists, “I really don’t think it’s them, Rosa.” 
“Jake…” Rosa starts, shooting him a look, and Jake quickly waves his hand, brushing her off as he already knows what’s coming next. 
“Alright, I’ll reach out to them, see if there’s anything more they can tell us.” Jake reluctantly says, and Rosa nods. Pointing back at the computer, Jake asks, “Does this mean I can stop watching these boring videos?”
“Fine.” Rosa grumbles, angling the laptop towards herself as Jake grins. He grabs his jacket hanging off the back of his chair, and he sneaks one last glance at the grainy video before darting out the room. He pauses, his eyes narrowing, and he points at the screen. 
“Wait, what’s that?” Jake points at the corner of the video, where a figure rushes down the street. Rosa squints, and she pauses the video for Jake to get a better look. His eyes widen, and his expression pales slightly, and he asks, “What time was this footage from?”
“Five in the morning.” Rosa replies, checking the timestamp. Looking up at Jake, she asks, “Why? What is it?”
“Nothing.” Jake hurriedly remarks, and Rosa frowns. Before she can demand an answer from Jake, he’s already rushed out of the break room, swiftly exiting the bullpen as he dodges Terry on his way out.
It’s not nothing, but Jake knows he can’t tell Rosa that. Not when the figure in the video was wearing a distinctive denim jacket with planets stitched on the back.
tag list: @myfriendmagislit​​ / @thedamagedcne / @real-fbi​​ / @writinqss​​ / @thisismysecrethappyplace​​ / @natalia-helena-alianova-romanov / @dontjudgemepeepswrites​​ / @hauntedpocdreamer / @locke-writes​​ / @lgbtonystarks​​ / @fangirlsarah16​​ / @kittensanddarkclouds​​ / @randomfandomimagine​​ / @ofthedewthesunlight​​ / @bravelittlesunflower​​
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peralta-guaranteed · 3 years
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When they met Jake had a mop of hair (still looked cute) but then he got it cut and went from cute to HOT AF wonder what Amy’s reaction to that was 🤔🤔 or what her reaction to first time seeing him in a suit (suit Jake can step on me)
(gonna smush those together and add the awesome triple Ask part 2, "Amy realizing how hot Jake is early in their friendship like a moment of realization and then it won’t get out of her head)
also, Jake’s suit: like this
and Amy’s dress: like this but in blue
for your imagination pleasures :D
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He was cute in a dorky kind of way, she had to admit even before she ever dared to think she might like him.
Well, she didn't exactly have to admit that to anyone, because no one really asked (except for Kylie, who only got a shrug and an eye roll when she inquired about her new co-workers). But she kind of admitted it to herself, whenever she caught a glimpse of his mop of hair bobbing past her desk with a new file, or leaning over her when they were discussing a new case. He was kinda cute.
Annoying and childish and boisterous and a pain to work with, but... in a cute way.
It made no difference to admit that, anyway. It didn't matter. They were co-workers, and that's it. She wasn't here to make friends - especially not with someone as wild and career-hobbling as him. She’d made that decision before she even came to the 99, and it wasn’t going to change.
-*-
He came in with no curls left at all six months into their working relationship, about a month after she’d also admitted to herself that maybe she wasn’t intentionally here to make friends, but had accidentally ended up with a strangely loyal one. 
“Good, right?” He grinned at her with a proud double-pointer to his head, sitting or rather plonking down into his chair across from her while she tried to pry her eyes from him. She had been staring the whole way from the elevator to their desks, but maybe it wasn’t too late to hide that.
It was a bit harder to hide the blush that started at the top of her ears, but she cleared her throat quickly to pull his eyes away from that.
“That’s quite a change.”
“Yeah, Gina set me up with one of her stylist friends. Didn’t work out, but, uh, guess I got something out of it. Which is probably what she was planning for anyway.” He shrugged, answered with a resounding “Uh, duh!” from behind Amy before he stuck his tongue out at the childhood friend she was separating him from.
Something in her face twitched at the mention of another one of his dates - he seemed to be going on a lot of those, and he had no qualms telling everyone so, even though he never elaborated. Why it made her stomach drop a bit every time, she wasn’t quite so sure. Probably because it was so unprofessional to discuss at work, and she was already toeing the line too much joining in with some of his jokes and pranks. He swore McGinley didn’t give a damn, but she was sure she’d seen their captain’s disapproving stare through the half open blinds the last two times Jake had pulled her up from her desk for something definitely not police-related.
Jake was still low-key squabbling with Gina over her head, so she could slip out of that conversation easily, focus on the files she was working on before he came in looking like that, disrupting her… everything. 
“It looks good.” She said instead, cursing herself for opening her mouth the second it closed again, but continuing. “Frames your face much better.”
The infighting stopped, and she could feel Gina’s stare burn into the back of her head. But far more pressing was the look Jake was giving her now, a short blink of… surprise, maybe, before his face broke out into a grin that wasn’t half as goading or over-the-top as usual.
“Uh, I, mh, thanks.” He mumbled, quickly staring down at the files he’d left open yesterday before he left, and she almost thought she could see a blush on the tip of his ears now, finally visible without being hidden underneath all that hair.
But that was surely just her imagination.
-*-
A very overactive imagination, she sighs as she stands in the copier room. An imagination that couldn’t stop staring at him throughout the day, at the way his profile had changed so much now without those curls always in the way, at the short hairs on the back of his neck, her fingers itching to run through them to find out if they’d feel soft or bristly. An imagination that refused to go back to the simple description of ‘cute’.
“I see you, Santiago.” A terrifying voice behind her interrupts her, and she’s glad her files are already in the copier so she can’t throw them at Gina in shock as she turns around to face her.
“What?”
“I see you, staring at my boy.” Gina points two fingers from her eyes into Amy’s direction, a grin breaking out on her face that almost rivals the ‘boy’ she’s talking about. “Getting the hots for the class clown? Gonna go smoochtown on my little bro?”
“As if.” Amy scoffs, maybe a bit too loudly, shaking her head a bit too much. “We’re talking about the same guy here? The one who claims that jelly beans have 4 calories each, so eating 500 a day should fulfil his caloric needs?”
“Uhu.” Gina seems bored now, which is not unusual for her whenever she’s talking to Amy, staring at her fingernails instead. “Keep trying to delude yourself with those negatives, poor girl. Just channel all that unfulfilled desire into some boring paperwork. I’ll be waiting for the day you snap and tear his clothes off right at his desk, so I can be out sick that day and not have to witness it.”
“I’m not going to-” Amy tries to protest, but Gina has already hopped out of the room, her hair bouncing behind her as she gives a wave and leaves her behind with a growl.
She’s not. She’s not going to do anything. There’s nothing to do something about. There- it’s- he’s-
She’s allowed to think someone looks attractive without immediately devolving into sexual thoughts or interest. She can think one of her friends is good-looking without making that weird. She can… she can admit that Jake is her friend and that Jake is attractive and it doesn’t change anything.
It doesn’t.
-*-
They’re all standing in front of the precinct, half shivering because of the wind swiping through their legs, and Amy curses whoever’s idea it was to meet up there instead of straight at the NYPD party two blocks down. We’re supposed to show a unified front as a squad, she remembers Terry saying, arriving together will help with that. 
Well, they apparently won’t even start off together, because they’ve been waiting for Jake - of course, who else? - for close to 15 minutes now, and none of their messages were even answered. (Amy duly noted that hers were actually the only ones signed off with a ‘read’ notification, but she couldn’t think too much about that now, not while she was freezing in a dress she was still worried might be too low cut for a work event, even while Rosa next to her was sporting the most amazing little black dress she’d ever seen.)
“I swear to god, if Peralta isn’t here in 5 minutes, I’ll-” Terry is interrupted in his rant by a far too familiar voice sprinting at them.
“I’m here! I’m here.” Jake coughs a little as he comes to a stop and leans forward, hands on his knees, before standing up with a wide grin as if nothing happened. “I’m here! Let’s go! What are we waiting for?!”
Terry gives him the most dead-set stare he can muster before the group starts moving, all eager to finally get to a place that not only offers free drinks and food, but also heating.
Amy falls back a few steps, fighting with some uncomfortable heels she also should’ve rethought as much as her dress, and finds herself next to Jake, who’s apparently still trying to catch his breath from his run to the precinct. At least that’d explain the little gasp and baited breath as she bonks against him in her next stumble, and finds she’d rather like to stay there - on account of him being warm, of course.
“Geez, Santiago.” His arm wraps around her, suddenly, an even warmer hand rubbing up and down the thin sleeves of the stylish yet impractical soft coat she’d picked. “If you know you run cold all the time, why don’t you bundle up for the weather?”
Because bundling up doesn’t look good, she thinks with a sigh. Bundling up doesn’t leave an impression with the captains at that party. And because, maybe, Kylie had been a little too convincing about her online shopping cart after two glasses of wine each and clicked Buy before Amy could stop her. 
“I wasn’t exactly expecting to spend more than 5 minutes out in the cold today, but we had to wait twice that for you.” She bites back instead, and hates herself for it, because it makes his wonderfully warm arm drop from her side almost immediately.
“Sorry.” He mumbles while staring at the ground. “Hey, you want my coat? It’s fresh dry-cleaned, I promise.”
“I didn’t know you even owned anything but that leatherjacket and at least twenty similar hoodies.”
“Yeah, it’s my grown-up nice jacket I only wear for special events.” He decides to ignore her dig, stroking down the soft grey wool with a strangely proud grin before unbuttoning it. “Here, put it on. Pre-warmed.”
She can’t protest anymore before he slips it over her shoulders, and it is incredibly warm and soft, but that’s not what freezes her mind entirely.
Jake’s in a suit. That much was to be expected, considering the event they were going to specifically asked for it, but it only now dawns on her that she’s never seen him in a suit before, not accounting for his dress blues. And what a suit. It’s dark green, emerald, she thinks it’s called, a colour that works perfect with his light brown curls (slightly grown out again), and there’s- there’s a waistcoat involved, and a pocket square, a  navy blue coloured pocket square, and she realises it’s the exact same shade of blue as her dress, and her mind can’t even focus on how the cut of his suit seems perfectly tailored around his waist while thinking about that, until Charles’ wolf-whistle pulls her out of her fugue.
“Hot damn, Peralta.” Terry nods next to him. “Didn’t expect you to make the effort, to be honest.”
“Gina has this friend who works at a tailor.” He coughs, and yes, there is definitely a blush on his ears now. “Plays himself as a bit of a stylist, but I think he went overboard.”
Charles “Nuh-uh!” mixes with Rosa’s “Why does Gina keep trying to hook you up with horrible people”, and almost overshadows Amy’s “Do you make any fashion choices that aren’t basically Gina-led?”
“Because she’s Gina.” Jake shrugs and seems to answer both Amy and Rosa with that, staunchly ignoring Charles for the moment, which is probably his best bet.
Amy wants to shoot something back, anything, to keep her mind off of that suit and her eyes from staring, but she can’t. She’s glad she has to look forward as they move on, though, focusing more on not stumbling on the uneven pavement with Jake’s warm, heavy coat over her shoulders.
So he looks good in a suit. That’s fine. He cleans up well. Lots of men do. Terry is wearing a nice suit, too. So’s Charles, she has to admit.
But neither of them pull at the seams of her mind like his does. Neither of them makes her wonder how it feels to let her hands slide down his lapels, maybe grab them midway and pull him forward-
The two block walk is far too short to cool her down again, especially with that cursed warm jacket around her, smelling so much like him and his unusual cologne that he’s definitely never worn to work before, but that will be burned into her nose for a while now.
-*-
He helps her slip both his and her jacket off at the coat check, and there seems to be a short moment where he almost drops hers as she turns around again, his eyes rushing up and down her wrap dress, sporting a cleavage and a high slit that really can only be explained by two glasses of wine and Kylie. At least the sleeves are long enough to not make her freeze anymore now that she’s inside.
“Wow.” He mumbles even as she begins pulling at said sleeves, adjusting the collar that already feels like it’s dropped too far.
“I know, it’s too much, my friend-”
“Too much?!” He interrupts with a stare. “Ames, you look-” He seems to be grasping for something to say, and she can see a flash of a lot of words across his mind before he stares at the ground again for a second to find himself. “Good. You look really good.”
She smiles as her eyes drop to the ground as well.
“Thanks. You look good, too.”
He snorts, before lifting his arm in an inviting gesture, and she doesn’t want to rethink it too much as she slips her arm into the hook of his elbow.
“Well, let’s go look good together then.” He says, and yep, she’s definitely rethinking all of that. For the whole evening. Every time he catches her eyes - she’s not staring, she’s not - and smiles at her. The first time he points to his pocket square, mouthing We match! with almost childlike glee in his eyes. The following five times he does it. Even the one time Charles points it out as they find each other in their little group again, met with a round of sighs and a disgruntled “No, Charles” from Jake himself. 
She thinks about it - and about him, and that suit - when he picks up their coats, both swaying and giggling just a little from the free champagne. 
And then she thinks about something a bit more, when he slips his jacket over her shoulders immediately, his hands gliding over her bare neck for just a second, the scent of his cologne from the collar only strengthened by the scent of him right behind her.
So he’s cute. So he’s attractive. So he looks amazing in a suit. 
So she might be a little bit attracted to all that.
It still didn’t change anything.
-*-
what r u wearing 2 NYPD party, he texts her a year later, and she crinkles her nose at his appalling writing.
You know how to write proper English, I’ve seen your reports. She texts back, and then… Why do you want to know?
Thought it would be fun to match again. comes the well-written answer, and she stares at it for a good ten minutes before finally answering.
Green chiffon.
She was going to change her mind about that dress Kylie helped her pick again, but she won’t. Not now.
-*-
What r you gonna wear babeeeee, he pesters her with the 5th message about it in as many days, ever since she sent him the reservations info for their first anniversary dinner.
I told you it’s going to be a surprise.
Not fair! How am I supposed to match?! She grins as she reads it.
Won’t look good on you if you can’t figure that out, detective.
-*-
“I knew it!”, he grins at her wide at the bottom of her stairs as she descends in her navy blue wrap dress, glad it still fits after years in her closet.
“Easy enough for you to say. You probably have a whole colour range of pocket squares ready.”
“Nuh-uh.” He shakes his head, reaching for her hand on the last step already, his other hand unbuttoning the same ‘grown-up nice jacket’ she knows so well by now. “Look?”
She lets out a happy laugh as she’s met with his emerald green suit jacket, a memory burned into her mind for probably forever.
She’s so glad he never changes.
41 notes · View notes
organic-guacamole · 3 years
Text
showtime
episode 211 let's go
ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode
mr mazzara doing the recap-
this is so weird to me and I don't know why
WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING
is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?
STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES
Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes
he's so pretty.
ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural
OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-
well that explains a lot...
so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-
insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*
of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??
Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....
let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.
Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha
yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰
I mean....where's EJ?
THERE HE IS
EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek
KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY
Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc
the smallest fOrk
can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌
the duster and the bluster.... ok😃
hi Gina!
hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!
the portwell look.
that my friends, is a married couple's look✋
GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU
aww Gina's so excited for this
D word?
Die?
Delicious?
Dom Toretto?
"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"
sir that does not sound very clean to me
SEBLOS
Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos
DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-
I NEED TO SEE THAT
Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"
Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer
the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement
"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"
...
"hey where are you from?"
"TAH"
SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-
he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos
just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why
Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea
pepto bismol product placement smhsmh
those flowers are bigger that big red himself-
*bops along to the opening theme*
that whistle at the end slaps everytime
WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE
I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*
wow i am so funny
so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice
OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA
HOWIEEEEEE
"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.
Mazzara what are you trying to pull-
I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone
"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ
"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"
right so what's going to happen after you graduate?
what does he think of you not going to Duke?
what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?
good old Mr. M
therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.
start with Ricky though.
"Michael Bowen"
dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"
OH-
does she not like Mike anymore?
why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime
break the fourth wall-
uhhhh im scared
why am I scared
he's scary
hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY
oh boy poor Michael
this man is in love, rip
why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide
LILYYYY
I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.
ha this guy's got jokes
a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL
wheeze
also he's very pretty.
"the wolves and very talented humans"
how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure
"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name
did she just say lol out loud
same with the hug emoji last episode-
go touch some grass babes
the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-
not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months
awww lily genuinely trying to help him
sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)
REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?
just look at me now
the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-
HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-
David Attenborough?
oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.
STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER
also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?
I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl
OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH
shockingly
yo where did the makeup come from
man I wish I was a theatre kid
THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋
my girl is starring
"needs an X-factor"
Simon Cowbell creeps in
"it's a yes from me"
and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍
"I thought she just hog-tied him?"
don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.
imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.
Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong
"help"
same Carlos, same
I love how seb is just his translator rn
I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?
big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.
Ash and Gina dancing is so fun
I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect
KOURTNEY YES
HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH
I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH
SEBBY
THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP
THIS IS SO GOOD
HOW???
no because I'm actually crying
I'm dead serious.
we need this musical released as a special
big red is so proud and I love to see it
Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"
rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"
Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance
Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up
YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER
aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard
JORDAN FISHER
there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me
THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG
they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor
THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-
@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT
Natalie really just be coming for them all
Howie what is happening rn
I'm scared
"did you enjoy it"
"very much"
dude wants a kiss so bad
ASHLYN OMG
NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT
I want a Jordan autograph please
just keep swim- oh pushing...
Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it
am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?
yes.
Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw
the portwell glances will kill me.
ah yes, mashed potato snow
Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.
Howie please just do it
CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT
I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE
oh ok bye Jordan
oo tea
NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-
"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"
excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically
THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-
STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP
someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst
omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing
elevator music lol
I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was
did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-
oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right
oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩
😐
the judge is doing a sudoku
honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too
Lily why are you looking like that-
I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP
wow ok, there goes that.
omg
what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-
anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.
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oopsiedoopsie23 · 4 years
Text
Mission gone wrong | Jake Peralta x reader
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A/N: Obsessed with Brooklyn 99, I’ve definitely been binging it way too much. And, I love Peraltiago so, so much but I agree, Peralta is way too charming and deserves way more love! Also I’m slowly going through my requests, so if you have sent me one, I’m gonna get through it eventually, so stay tuned my loves! And thank you for the request, babes <3
Prompt: The reader works at the 99 and goes undercover for a case as a stripper, but Jake worries when things don’t go exactly as planned (the two are dating in this imagine).
Warnings: mentions of alcohol, drugs, drugging and strippers
“Okay everyone, settle down, settle down.”
The briefing room was ecstatic, everyone muttering and gossiping to one another about the new case that they had just received this morning.
It was rumoured to be one of the largest cases that the precinct had ever seen, involving one of Brooklyn’s largest drug kingpins, and the case being handed to the 99 by the commissioner himself. 
“Charles, are you sure that you’re right?”
“Yeah Charles, us storming into a fancy Peruvian banquet to take down this guy seems really unlikely...and weird.”
“Guys! The Captain told everybody to be quiet...so be quiet!”
You and Jake turned around, facing the front of the room to look at Terry and Captain Holt, not bothering to hide the fact that the two of you were gossiping with Charles.
“Thank you, Sergeant Jeffords. As you all know, this morning our precinct received a rather large case from the commissioner so if you have all stopped gossiping and whispering amongst yourselves then, we can get started with the briefing.”
“Jeez Captain is it really that bad?”
“Excuse me, my apologies if my previous statement was rather harsh but there are um, some aspects of this case that are making me rather uncomfortable uh, Sergeant Jeffords would you give our precinct the briefing please.”
You and Jake looked at each other, the fact that Captain Holt was nervous was definitely not a good sign. 
“Damn maybe we really are going to a Peruvian banquet.” 
“Okay everyone, so today we are going to be taking down this man...” You all sit up straighter as Terry shows the precinct the photo of the convict, “His name is David Robertson, 41 years old, executive on Wall Street and one of the biggest drug king pins in Brooklyn.”
“Okay, so we have to take down the big bad wolf of wall street?”
“Hey was that a reference to that movie with Leonardo Dicaprio that we watched together?”
You can’t help but let out a laugh as Jake interrupted you, “Yeah, dang he looked good in that movie.”
“I know!” the two of you high fived before Terry continued speaking,
“L/N, Peralta, if you could keep your weird flirting and conversations ‘till after the briefing?”
“Or at home?”
“Or just not do it at all...ever.”
You and Jake smiled sheepishly as he turned to shrug at Amy and you chose to give the finger to Rosa (jokingly of course, you don’t have a death wish).
“Anyways, the good news is that the 84 has already found a lead that we can use to take down Robertson for good!”
Everyone in the room cheered and high fived at the good news.
“Wait so all we have to do is surround the location, storm in and Boom! Bad guy’s gone!”
Everyone in the room agreed and chuckled before Rosa cut in, 
“What’s the bad news Sarge?”
“...the location is Walt’s Gentlemen’s club.”
The room went silent as everyone digested Terry’s words,
“Wait so it’s a Peruvian banquet that no girls are allowed in?” Everyone groaned at Charles’ confusion causing him to let out an exasperated “What?”
“Charles, it’s a strip club not a Peruvian banquet!”
“Oh! Oh no...” 
You face palmed as Charles’ unconscious body hit the ground,
“We’ll just...give Charles a minute.”
3 hours later~
You all settled back into your seats in the briefing room, everyone once again muttering to one another about the big case.
“I mean a gentlemen’s club? This is like a case from my nightmares!”
“It’s okay Amy! Hitchcock and I were there last week, it’s very clean!”
Everyone’s faces scrunched up simultaneously in disgust and horror, “Scully! Why were you and Hitchcock at a strip club last week?”
“What? They’ve got the best chicken wings in the city!”
You hear Charles gasp dramatically, and see him place a hand on his chest in horror, “Scully! You did not just say that!”
“Okay everyone! We’ve just got word from the commissioner and we have decided that due to the importance of this case, we are turning this into a brief undercover mission.”
“Wait...so does that mean that Boyle and I are gonna get to dress up in the suit that I wore to my Nana’s funeral and eat some chicken wings while some ladies are sliding on poles?”
“Or, does that mean that we’re gonna have to watch Amy talk about personal hygiene as she attempts to slide down a pole?”
You try your best to hold back your laughter as Amy blushes and stutters after Gina.
“Actually...we were thinking of having someone else go undercover...”
You and Rosa immediately gave each other the look, knowing that with both of your skills, experience and luck, it was probably going to be one of you.
Before Holt or Terry can continue talking about the case, you and Rosa simultaneously stick your fists out, preparing for an intense game of rock, paper, scissors,
“You know the drill, L/N.”
“Loser has to work this brilliant, but extremely embarrassing and demeaning case that would ruin either of our reputations, you’re on Diaz!”
You feel Jake began to bounce in your seat in anticipation behind you,
“C’mon Y/N you got this! Make me proud, honey!”
“C’mon Rosa! Don’t let them win! I may have lost my bet against Jake but you can still take down Y/N! Don’t let another one of them get away!”
Everyone stares at Amy, with her sudden outburst of intensity, “Jeez Santiago, you good?” 
“Y-yeah I’m fine Sarge, just really into this game of rock, paper, scissors, you know? I just uh, really want to see who gets to work the pole?” Amy stutters, clearly flustered but is luckily saved by Holt,
“Actually, Santiago this time it isn’t up to a wager of rock, paper, scissors to deci-”
“Okay everyone! My name is Jake Peralta, I’m your host this evening, and welcome to the annual, L/N, Diaz showdown, this time to decide who gets the pleasure of pretending to be a...drum roll please, Boyle...lady of the night for a bunch of sketchy drug dealers and pervy old men!”
“What’s a lady of the night?”
“Oh not now Boyle!”
“In this corner, she is the reigning rock, paper, scissors champ, who would make the most terrifying pole dancer ever...Rosa Diaz!”
Cheers are heard throughout the room as Rosa cracks her knuckles, preparing for the game.
“And in this corner, she has the best taste in men and after the last fight, had to pretend to be married to Hitchcock, and did I mention is my hot girlfriend...Y/N L/N!”
Cheers are also heard throughout the room as Jake echoes your name dramatically and you nod your head at Rosa in acknowledgement.
“Okay fighters, on shoot,  ready?”
The two of you shake hands as you feel everyone slightly tilt forward to get a good view of your matchup.
“Rock...Paper...Scissors...Shoot!”
On cue, you quickly lay your hand flat in a paper formation as Rosa balls her hand into a fist, signalling rock.
“YES!”
“And our winner by paper...Y/N L/N!”
Everyone claps and cheers as Jake raises your arm into the air and you take a bow, smiling as Rosa groans and puts her head in her hands.
“Actually detectives, the commissioner and I have already decided that the best choice for this undercover mission would be, Detective L/N.”
“Wait, what?”
“B-but I won the rock, paper, scissors!”
“You all realize that this is an extremely important case which your petty game has no impact on right?”
You open your mouth again in protest when Holt cuts you off,
“It is only used for small, un-important cases like homicides.”
You groan as Rosa snickers,
“Ha! Y/N still has to pretend to be a stripper!”
“Terry you can’t possibly agree, I mean you told me that Rosa used to do ballet, right? You’ve got dance experience surely you’d be a better stripper than me!”
Terry’s eyes widen as Rosa growls at him, “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about Y/N um, I’m sure you’d be a great stripper, m-much better than Diaz.”
you sigh, letting your head fall onto the table, feeling Jake feverishly pet your shoulder as Holt dismisses the meeting.
“On the bright side, you’ll look hot?”
“Not the time, Jake.”
Another 3 hours later~
“Ugh, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!”
“But you look amazing! That brassiere really brings out your eyes!”
“Charles! Why are you looking at my girlfriend’s brassiere?” 
You roll your eyes as your boyfriend and his best friend begin to argue over the pronunciation of brassiere, instead choosing to prepare yourself for the hours of hell ahead of you.
“Damn L/N you look hot.” you smirk at Rosa, giving your friend a salute.
“Yeah um, the mascara was a good touch.”
You chuckled at how uncomfortable Amy was with you standing in the bullpen practically half naked.
Then, Holt walks in with Terry and the commissioner by his side, seemingly re-discussing the case,
“Okay team, you all know the drill, L/N will go in, pretending to be an employee at our target’s location, and flirt with the target, enticing him to go to a private room in the back and Peralta and Boyle will also be undercover as fellow customers as another set of eyes in the room. Diaz, Santiago, Jeffords and I, along with a task force from the 84 will then surround all the exits as L/N finds a way to distract him, then when he tries to run we got ourselves a convict.”
You all cheer, and suit up (or in your case put on a flimsy trench coat), preparing yourselves for the mission.
“Hey, are you okay?” you look over and see Jake watching you with worried eyes,
“Yeah...just nervous.” you chuckled nervously, fiddling with your hands.
“Hey, look at me, you’ll be fine, I won’t let anything bad happen to you, I promise.”
He gently takes your hands in his, making you smile at the sweet gesture,
“I’m more nervous about having to dance half naked in front of a bunch of strangers than being surrounded by a bunch of drug dealers.”
Jake laughs, making you smile as he gives you a quick peck to your forehead.
“Promise me that you’ll close your eyes?”
“Oh no way! This is my one chance to watch you perform!”
You dramatically gasp, lightly smacking his chest as the two of you burst out laughing once again,
“Will you at least make sure that Charles closes his eyes?”
“Oh yeah, for sure, that’s disgusting.”
The two of you stay silent for the rest of the short car ride, choosing to instead, hold hands and pretend to listen to Charles list off all of the restaurants that should rightfully be named the best in the city.
“Alright, we’re here, you know what to do. Good luck L/N.” 
You nod at Holt with a slight smile gracing your lips, as you step out of the car as gracefully and seductively as you could, and walking into the club.
As you walk in, you let your eyes momentarily adjust to the dark lighting, subtly dropping your trench coat to the floor, attempting to blend in with the rest of the half naked ladies walking around.
You grab a nearby tray of drinks and begin to circle the club, trying your best to act as if you weren’t about to barf from all of the sleazy looks you were getting.
“Hey gorgeous, over here!”
You turn your head and see David Robertson himself, sitting with a group of large men, calling you to him.
You gulp and tense but instantly relax as you see Jake and Charles walk through the door, both failing miserably to look as if they belonged at the club.
You give a slight nod to them as you strut over to Robertson’s table, putting your best flirty smile on your face (the one you give Jake when you try to talk him out of forcing you to watch Die Hard for the 1000th time).
“Hello Gentlemen, what can I do for you?”
“You must be new around here, we come here every night and we haven’t seen you around before.” you inhale as all of the burly men chuckle as if the comment was funny.
“Well I’m new here so, you probably know this place better than I do.” you giggle
The men chuckle once again, one of them even tossing you a dollar bill,
“I like you, what’s your name sweetheart?”
“Sugar...” you lean forward, trying your best to seduce the man, “Because I’m sweet...and once you taste me you can’t get enough.” 
You swear you can hear a gasp and a “Oh that’s good!” from Charles behind you but you pretend like it didn’t phase you at all,
“So...Sugar...you got any moves?”
“Well sir, I’m not like other girls here...I only dance in private, it makes things a lot more...interesting.”
“Ooh, now I like you even more!”
You smile as your target takes out his wallet, placing a black card on the table, clearly taking you up on your offer.
But as you lean back, holding your hand out for the man to take, Robertson instead pushes forward two glasses filled with a dark liquid, clearly signalling that he wants you to take one.
You try hiding your shock from the gesture and quickly try finding an excuse for not drinking the unknown drink...and whatever substances may be in it.
“I’m not so sure about that...I’m on the clock, you know.” You give another flirtatious smile, hoping that it will get you out of the situation.
“Well sweetheart, no drink...no deal.” You gulp as you watch him dramatically slide his card away from you as the last words leave his mouth.
You tilt your head slightly, to take a look at Jake and Charles, one of which has chicken sauce all over his face and the other who is feverishly shaking his head no.
But if I don’t do this, this whole case may go to waste.
You look away from Jake, looking Robertson dead in the eye once again,
“Oh the things we do for a little fun hm?” you attempt to say nonchalantly.
You slowly wrap your hands around the small glass, trying your best to identify whatever’s inside of it, before tilting it upwards and letting the burning liquid slide down your throat.
You watch as your target quickly does the same, before slamming his card on the table and letting you guide him to the back into a small room.
You feel your head become slightly dizzy and your throat burns from whatever was in the glass, the side effects becoming so severe that you barely notice that you’re now in the back room.
Focus L/N, focus.
You try to stand up straight and keep your vision clear as you watch Robertson begin to unbuckle his pants and take out a bunch of small containers of substances from his pockets.
“Wha-what are you doing?”
“Well...sugar I’m just preparing for a bit of fun...I mean this is what I paid for right?”
You gulp, praying that Jake and Charles and everyone else on the team were in their positions by now, you knew that you couldn’t stall any longer.
“Um, sorry Robertson but no, I don’t think this is what you paid for.”
The man freezes and tenses, clearly shocked from your answer,
“H-how do you know my name?”
You try to stand up straight once again, trying to look as strong as possible,
“Because of this...” you hold up your badge.
Robertson’s eyes widen and he scrambles as he tries to make a break for it. 
You immediately chase after him, watching as he finds the nearest exit door, pushing it open, and sprinting out.
“Freeze! This is the NYPD, David Robertson, put your hands in the air!”
You watch smugly as he reluctantly puts his hands in the air, surrendering himself to your colleagues. That is until, your knees begin to buckle and your dinner start to come back up.
Jake, who was right behind you, is quick to notice and guides you to a nearby bush, holding your hair back as you begin to vomit.
“Jeez, was it really that bad in there?” you hear Rosa walk up to you, disgust laced in her voice,
“No, she drank some sketchy drink from that Robertson dude.”
“What? Y/N what the hell? That could’ve been poisoned!” 
You gag and feel a gentle pat on your back, before sitting back down on the curb, not caring if you were still half naked.
“H-he wouldn’t go with me if I didn’t take it...I didn’t want the whole case to be a bust.”
You gratefully smile as you feel Jake’s jacket wrap around your shoulder,
“That was stupid...but brave, L/N.”
You jokingly swat Amy’s hand away as she tries grabbing onto your wrist, to check your pulse,
“I’m fine Amy, I’m alive.”
Rosa takes your terrible humour as a sign that you’re better, and signals for Amy to give you and Jake some space.
“So...since you just barfed your dinner all up, you wanna get something to eat?”
659 notes · View notes
frostedfaves · 4 years
Text
3am
Pairing: Jake Peralta x reader
Summary: A phone call in the middle of the night usually spells trouble, except maybe this time. Inspiration drawn from 3am by queen Halsey.
Word Count: 800+
Warnings: dating probs, some self deprecating thoughts, reader being a bit of a drunken mess
A/N: added this to my queue since I’ll be busy with some funeral stuff all day. hopefully this will keep you happy until I’m back on Sad Sunday! love you all
-
3:01AM. The first thing Jake's eyes spotted when he cracked them open. The glaring red numbers were coming from an old digital clock of his grandmother's and the annoying sound that shook him from his unconscious state came from his cellphone right beside it. He let out a groan loud enough to shake the bedroom walls as he sloppily threw his hand over to grab it and put it up to his ear without checking the contact name.
"Who is this and why?"
"I was going to say your best friend but you don't sound too happy with me right now." The voice slurred twice as badly as Jake's did.
"You're drunk. You need me to come get you?" He asked instantly, feet already on the floor and headed to his closet for something to wear.
"No, I'm home now. Just wanted to talk."
"At 3 in the morning?!" Jake dropped the sweatpants he was holding and came back to sit on the side of his bed, letting out a deep sigh. "Alright, fine. What's on your mind?"
"Why doesn't anyone love me?"
"What? Y/N, plenty of people love y--"
"I went out tonight and no one flirted with me. It makes me feel fucking ugly. And anytime I find someone on one of those apps, they hate me before the first date is even over, like they meet me in person and suddenly don't know what to do with me. It makes me feel like I don't know what to do with me either."
There was a moment of silence, Jake holding the phone close as he listened and waited until he thought you were done. Just when he started to speak up, you continued.
"I feel like when I finally do find something serious, I'm gonna ruin it."
"How could you possibly ruin it? Anyone would be lucky to have you," he quietly replied into the receiver as he picked up those sweatpants again, this time slipping them on.
"Maybe. But I know I'm gonna be too scared that this person will leave just like everyone else and I'll probably try to sabotage it before they even get the chance to." Another few seconds of silence passed before you spoke up again. "I wish I could have you."
"What?" Jake paused with his hand on the door to the apartment.
"Is that weird to say? I don't know, it just makes so much sense. You're already my best friend, so you know how fucking insane I am and you still put up with it. You understand me more than anyone else and you're a beautiful man, Jacob. But I'll take all this back if it makes you uncomfortable. I'll un-say it."
He let out a chuckle as he walked away from the door and sat on the end of his bed. "You don't have to, I don't mind. You're my best friend and a beautiful man, too." He paused to listen to your drunken giggles, taking a moment to think over what he was about to say next. "Hey, Y/N?"
"Yeah, Jake?"
"Do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"Drink some water and then get some sleep. I'll be over tomorrow with some greasy food and painkillers."
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you, too."
He dropped the phone on the bed when you hung up and stood with a sigh, peeling his clothes back off as his mind pondered the thought of actually telling you how he felt. Wondering if you even meant what you said. His thoughts flashed back to a moment between the two of you a few weeks ago.
-
"Y/N...Y/N...Y/N!"
"What?" You looked up from your phone with a frown.
"Finally! What are you doing?"
"On a dating app." You turned the screen toward him, showing a shirtless guy named Ryan that was currently 2.2 miles away.
"Cute, I guess." Jake shrugged, smirking when you just rolled your eyes and turned the phone back around. "Why do you bother with that anyway? I thought you liked getting to know someone in person better anyway."
"I did but...I don't know. People at least pretend to be interested in me on here, so I've grown to prefer the digital side of things. When it becomes physical is when I end up alone." You shot him a tight-lipped smile before turning your attention back to your phone.
Jake reached over and grabbed your phone, locking it and sliding it in his back pocket. "Well, I want more than that for you. You deserve someone who loves all of you and not just through a screen."
"Yeah, well unless you can find that someone for me, I'm stuck with this." You held out a hand for your phone, which he reluctantly returned to you.
-
He didn't speak up then or tonight. But tonight is different, because tonight he knows that he at least crossed your mind in that way. Even just for a moment. He knows he could love you completely because he does, drunk and sober. He just hopes that you can do the same.
-
Tags: @halfofwhatisayismeaningless @gaulty74 @ochrythum @xetherealbeautyx @marie-03 @makapaka11
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letsperaltiago · 4 years
Text
one single thread of gold tied me to you
From the very first time Jake mentions her name, Karen sees a thread of gold tying him to Amy. In other words: a series of small moments in which Jake is talking to Karen about Amy.
or
Jake talking to Karen about Amy throughout their relationship
Read here or on AO3 
The new girl
“Anything exciting happening at work?”
“Nah,” Jake halts, pausing to think between bites of the dinner Karen has prepared for the two of them. Because he’s the only child (and the fact that he’s a huge momma’s boy) he tries to stop by Karen’s once a week. Either for a quick chat and a coffee or longer. If the latter includes dinner, which it often does, then it’s always a huge plus. Tonight’s visit is one of the longer ones, much needed, and of course dinner is a must.
“Or,” he takes back his prior dismissal. “Like, this new girl joined the squad last week, so that’s… exciting, I guess?”
Karen’s head perks up letting her son know that she’s indeed listening.
“Well that’s always a good thing. What’s her name?”
By then Jake is already busy chewing on another bite of her mom’s baked potatoes - a personal favorite of his. Then again any food his mom makes is his favorite.
“Amy Santiago. She seems cool enough, I guess. Then again she just arrived so I guess I’ll have to see.”
Although the world, more specifically Jake, isn’t aware of it yet, the spinning of his and Amy’s golden thread commences its journey here. Karen smiles to herself as this, she realises, is the perfect opportunity for her to pick a bit on her son who’s never shy of teasing her. Lovingly, of course.
“Maybe she’s cool enough to date?”
The statement immediately interrupts his before eager chewing, a press on his entire body’s pause button, and earns Karen a deadpan expression as answer to her so-called proposition.
“Mom, please.”
There’s small smile on his face as he knows his mom is out to pester him. “Charles already went all Cupid on us when she arrived, so the last thing she needs is me hitting on her. Plus,” he’s back to being chewing on a mix of potatoes and meat, “I don’t even know her.”
“Well that’s just a matter of time, honey.”
Having nothing else to add he figures a shrug must be answer enough.
“Anyways,” he looks back up from his plate to his mother. “How’s Carla?”
Rivalling close friends
For her son’s birthday Karen has invited the squad over to her place for a celebratory dinner. At this point, since they’re good at dropping by if they’re ever in her neighbourhood or nearby for work, she’s familiar with most of the people Jake spends 95% of his time with - this with an exception of Amy and Holt.
They’re setting the table while Jake gives her one last quick rundown of the 99th precinct’s squad, so Karen is sure of who the different people are.
“… And Amy, besides Holt, is the last one to have joined the squad. She’s that super neat, kinda annoying one, I’ve told you about. You know, the one who tells me that I can’t eat in her car, and constantly corrects my grammar.”
“I thought you liked her?” He can’t see tell, since he’s busy setting the table, but Karen frowns finding it unlikely that her son suddenly has something against a colleague he most of the time spoke so highly of.
“I do, mom and that’s what’s so annoying. She’s the worst and best of all worlds...” He pauses in the middle of putting down a plate giving himself some time to turn over his thoughts. “… I mean, she probably is my best friend at this point, besides Charles, yanno? But please don’t tell him I said that. His little heart can’t take it.”
“Because of jealousy or because he’s dying to see you and Amy together?”
“Both,” Jake chuckles shaking his head in disbelief of the fact that he puts up with this situation daily.
Karen knows Jake’s “brother from another mother”, how the little man had introduced himself the first time she met him, very well  and can’t hold back a chuckle at the very vivid mental picture of a both jealous but also over the moon Charles.
“Your secret is safe with me.”
It brings an even wider smile to his face upon seeing his mother pretending to lock her lips and throw away an invisible key. Okay, maybe his mom is his best friend, but Amy and Charles are a close second.
Sadly Amy has fallen sick and never makes it to the birthday dinner, but upon arrival Rosa hands him a pretty gift bag with a tiny card and impeccable handwriting that says: Happy birthday, Pineapples ;) Inside the bag he finds the limited edition Die Hard 2: Die Harder-poster that had smashed his heart to pieces when someone had outbidded him for it on eBay. Little had he known it was Amy, sitting just a few feet away by her desk opposite of him, who’d outdone his bid with a sly smirk on her face. A smile which she could hide behind the big computer screen.
The smile on his face is impossible to hide and he immediately sends her a text:
‘ur gift made me die hard!!! guess ur not so bad after all ;) all kidding aside thank u so much and get well soon <3’
Later that night after everyone has left, he’s helping his mom cleaning the kitchen. Suddenly she hands over a homemade doggy bag with leftovers from the dinner.
“Don’t you think sweet, sick Amy deserves this after the gift she gave you?”
Her smirk doesn’t go unnoticed.
Jake of course agrees and later, on his way home, he drops it off at Amy’s place. It being late and not wanting to wake her up, he leaves it on her doorstep and sends her a text for her to see whenever she wakes up:
‘the bag on ur doorstep is not a bomb but a care package from mother peralta. hope ur feeling better but if u dont can i have your desk at work?’
A few days later Karen texts him a picture of a beautiful thank you card with the infamous, neatly Santiago style-written message thanking her for the thoughtful gesture. Jake smiles to himself and replies with a simple: ‘shes a good 1’
Unconsciously developing feelings
He never explicitly tells her. Still, Karen has her suspicions and they only grow every time her son mentions Amy’s name. Sooner rather than later it becomes very clear to her: her son would go to great lengths for his partner - even though he isn’t ready to acknowledge it yet.
“Mom, there’s no way I’m losing my car to her. I’m gonna take her on a date and she’s going to hate it and i’m going to love it- I mean… love her misery,” he corrects himself.
Karen is leaning against the doorframe to his still unaltered childhood bedroom, where Jake is currently rummaging through boxes containing a mix of childhood memories, dust and worthless nick-nack.
“You don’t happen to still have those old pictures of me and Jenny Gildenhorn, do you? I want to find an exact replica of Jenny’s hideous blue dress to torture Amy with.”
Knowing of Jake’s repressed, yet to be realised feelings, because a mother does know best, Karen rolls her eyes. He doesn’t notice. Probably because he has his head buried under his bed looking for more boxes and childhood treasures. Telling him to look for acknowledgement of his feelings for Amy while he’s down there is almost too tempting, but Karen manages to bite her lip. Hopefully he’ll see it himself one day… Or just keep talking the way he already does about her, even when complaining; it’s always with some kind of admiration. Karen sees the little twinkles in his eyes whenever the raven haired detective is brought up in a conversation.
To Amy’s sheer luck, Karen of course has loads of childhood pictures stored in a box in the garage and she gets to sit by knowingly as Jake searches multiple internet websites for the most horrible, blue, 80s dress possible. “Oh, mom… She’s going to hate this so much. Amazing.”
She doesn’t say anything but smiles knowingly as her son sits on her couch, laptop in his lap,  a boyish smile telling her that he is up to no good as he plans the (best) worst date for his “just a good friend”.
Pining
Everything seems harder at the moment. At least harder than what he’d like, Jake thinks to himself as he lies in bed, feeling tipsy from the few beers he had a Shaw’s. He knows he should just sleep but for some reason he can’t. Instead he tortures himself by staring at the ceiling which is definitely spinning - just a tiny bit though, he tries to convince himself.
He’s just come back from being undercover, and although it was kind of fun and definitely exciting in more ways than one, deep down inside he can’t deny that a tiny part of him had hoped Amy by now would give them a chance. It’s not that he’d expected her to break up with Teddy for him - it was her life to control after all. Not his. Although there was no shame in dreaming; dreaming that she’d welcome him back to the 9-9 with a slow motion run and kiss that would blow them both away, telling him that Teddy and his pilsners were out of the picture and that they belonged together;  all this time they’d been destined to belong to no one else but each other.
Alas this wasn’t the case and he returned from the mafia to a:
“I’m still with Teddy.”
The short sentence plays over and over in his head like a broken record he can’t turn off. The worst soundtrack of his life - without a doubt. Suddenly his phones rings, interrupting his spiralling thoughts.
“Hi, Mom,” he mumbles not hiding the fact that he’s exhausted, physically as well as mentally, and tipsy.
“Hi, honey. How did your first day back go?”
“It was... fine. Good to see everyone.”
Good to see Amy, Karen thinks before she does a double take when she picks up on her son’s voice clearly representing a moody side of him she, or anyone, rarely gets to see.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing, It’s-” he starts out not wanting to get into it, because feelings are messy and he always ends up being the hurt one anyways…  But on the other hand, he thinks, his mom will figure out either way - if she hasn’t already. Perhaps his lack of soberness also takes part in his sudden honesty.
“Amy,” he sighs.
“Is everything all right with her?”
“Yeah, she’s fine. I just-” he pauses. “She’s with this guy and-”
“You wish she wasn’t?” Karen beats him to it and finishes the sentence for him.
“Yeah or- I don’t know. I want her to be happy but...” he sounds utterly defeated to a point that hints at teary, she can tell even though she can’t see him. In that moment Karen wants nothing more than hug her little boy. “I really like her, mom.”
His voice never breaks entirely but it’s a fine line he’s walking throughout the entire conversation. Everything pours out of him; he’s a book of sentimental secrets opening up about his Achilles’ heel for the first time and all his mother can do is listen as he describes his favorite parts of Amy (which is pretty much everything): everything from the way her dark ponytail swings back and forth with purpose when she walks to a crime scene to how, when they’re out drinking with the squad, she always get him a beer whenever she gets up to get herself one.
It’s almost as if the spinning of the golden thread, still unknown to the world, between him and Amy is slowly choking him.
“I want her to be happy, mom… I just-” he almost dozes off before finishing the sentence but fights through it and it’s all at once incredibly endearing and heartbreaking to Karen who’s still listening from her end of the line.
“... I just wish she would be happy with me instead.”
New couple
It’s truly unbelievable. Jake can’t believe he’s about call his mom to tell her: tell her that he’s with Amy now.  
It’s been a month now; a month of him being with Amy and being so very happy he still can’t believe he’s been spending all this time not feeling like this. However, not wanting to rush things or put any pressure on either of them, simply enjoying being together, no one else but the squad knows about them.
Them. Him and Amy. A thing.
Just thinking about him and Amy that way, it almost makes him dizzy of pure disbelief. There had been so much buildup, such a long history of back and forth, bad timing, but all that aside now here they were. Amy Santiago was his girlfriend. Maybe that is the thought that causes his heart to take on a way too quick beating pattern and the hand holding his phone to become clammy. Now is the time though and he doesn’t hesitate to hit his mom’s contact. It rings. Jake can clearly hear his heart thump loudly against his ribcage. Should he be this nervous?
One time.
Two times.
Thre-
“Hi, honey,” his mom’s warm chipper voice interrupts the monotone ringing instantly making his lips spread into a small smile and heart take a break from the irrational thumping.
“Hey, mom,” he starts pacing around his apartment in attempt of diverting all the energy and emotions rushing through him, unconsciously bringing him everywhere from his bed to his kitchen.
“So it’s actually been a little while now… And I haven’t said anything since I didn’t want to rush anything but,” he cuts the sentence in two with a deep breath. “So, like… Amy and I are dating... together... her and I,” he starts rambling and wow he really should’ve written this down first. Karen doesn’t let it go on for too long though too excited to not say anything.
“Honey, I’m so so happy for you two! And it was about time that you finally told me!”
Jake’s pacing stops on the spot.
“What do you mean “finally”?”
“Oh, Jake... Sometimes I think you forget that mothers know everything. Plus you’re not very good at hiding… bruises,” she clears her throat, emphasizing what she’s really saying while imagining her son blush on his end of the line. “Also you’ve been visiting less and less, which means someone else has to take up your time.Someone who is even cooler than your very own mom, someone who makes you this gitty and nervous to talk about… It had to be her you were calling about.”
The smile in her voice is clear as day, but Jake is still baffled trying to come up with an explanation or the very least a decent answer. There is none, he quickly abandons the plan and instead lets out a happy huff.
“She’s really cool, mom. So cool. The last month has been like… the best. I don’t know how else to describe it. She’s the best.”
Compared to the defeated and heartbroken man she spoke to all those months ago, after his return from being undercover, this is a whole new version of her son that she’s longed to see. Karen can’t physically see him but can still clearly tell he’s flipped the page and is taking on a better chapter of his life.
Early relationship
It’s another night at his mom’s. Although the motivation behind the visit is a tiny bit different than usual this time. Sure, they’re gonna talk and have a nice dinner prepared by Karen as per usual, although tonight the mother has to nurse a whiny Jake who’s missing his dear but very out of town for the week-girlfriend. And the experience feels… mixed.
“Dinner is ready!”
No response.
She looks up from where she’s just carefully put down a sizzling pan to see her son back against the one arm of her armchair with his legs svung over the other. Physically he might be close but mentally he’s so far away, clearly more focused on whatever is going on on his phone’s screen.
“Jake,” she tries again but rather than giving his mother a reply Jake start typing as if nothing or noone was within miles of him. Karen can’t help but feel like she’s raising a teenager all over again, a teenager with the attention span of a goldfish, although this time her son is actually in his late 30s, lives by himself and has a girlfriend. So little yet so much has changed about him.
“Jacob,” she tries with her more more stern voice. She knows what he’s doing, texting Amy, and even though it’s cute he needs to snap out of it. At least for long enough to eat. He finally reacts and looks in her direction. Realization hits him which immediately prompts him to push himself out of the seat.
“If you stop eating you won’t even be alive to see her when she comes back.”
He deserves to be teased, he figures.
“I’m sorry. It was a text from Amy and I just wanted to reply right away. I just really miss her, I guess... and this is the closest we’ll get to talking today since she’s busy with her family, so...”
He leaves his phone behind on the coffee table, implicitly letting his mother know she’s got his (somewhat) full attention from now on.
“It’s so weird. We’ve only been together for like...” he counts in his head. “... 5 months now, but I already can’t stand being away from her for too long. Am I insane?” he drops down into his usual seat by the dinner table, almost in defeat but Karen is quick to rescue him in his moment of overdramatic despair.
“No you’re not, I assure you.”
Karen grabs his hand to stroke it comfortingly. She knows her son didn’t mean to be rude, didn’t mean to ignore her and she loves how much he’s opened up about his emotions since getting together with Amy.
“It’s a good sign that you care so much, but just remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder and it’ll feel even better when she comes back… and until then you can let your old mom entertain you.”
They share a chuckle because they both know what that means.
“Did you get ice cream?” he asks.
“Strawberry, chocolate chip and cookie dough… and to top it off: Die Hard is ready to play the second we’re done eating and doing the dishes.”
It’s a little tradition of theirs: their shared comfort snack plus movie-combo.
“You know me so well,” Jake smiles almost forgetting about missing Amy.
If not for the rest of the week then at least for a couple of hours.
Going steady
This week is a a lot different from the usual. While it’s not every single week they actually manage to see each other or even get the time to talk, Karen knows for sure that she won’t hear from her son for at least a couple of days. Jake is away on a cruise with Amy, and so besides the few pictures he’s texted her of them eating shrimp in bed (she wonders how he talked Amy into that) and a huge seagull stealing some of Amy’s fries, Karen doesn’t expect a whole lot of her son’s attention that week.  
Which is why she is extremely surprised when her phone rings, her son’s picture and name displayed on her phone, in the middle of the night. Yes, the element of surprise is of course due to the fact that she knows he’s busy being away with Amy, but also much due the time at which he calls.
01:21
A mother’s undeniable fear and worry for her child never goes away, no matter how old said child is, and it now creeps in making her fear that the worst has happened. What could possibly lead him to call this late? She frantically grabs her phone from her night stand.
“Jake, it’s in the middle of the night. Is everything okay?” She doesn’t mean to come off as accusing but she’s definitely trying to get to the bottom of the mystery right away.
“I love her.”
It falls from his lips, very out of nowhere, and it’s hard to tell within what context it is to be interpreted. Interlacing with his voice is the sound of crashing waves and a strong breeze making Karen wonder where her son finds himself.
“Honey, what do you mean? Where are you?”
Maybe she should’ve understood right away, it was obvious, but not only was she sleeping just seconds ago but the background noise on his end of the line only makes the whole scene way more confusing than it already is.  
He breathes, out of breath almost as if he’s been running. “I’m outside. On the deck. And I love her, mom.”
“The deck?”
“No,” he pauses catching his breath. “Amy. I told her… Or she told me first and then I told her back. Nothing has ever felt more right.”
That makes way more sense, Karen thinks although still quite unsure of exactly why he’s calling her. All that aside her heart is flooded with happiness, when she realises her son is not out of breath from running or crying, but rather all the emotions he must be feeling.
“Aw, Jake. I’m so happy for you. I know how much she means to you.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“Yeah… You’ve changed so much throughout your relationship with Amy and it’s only for the better. You were already wonderful, you’re my son after all, but she brings out so much more good in you. This was only a matter of time. I think you’ve loved her for longer than you think.”
Another silence allows the crashing waves and whistling night wind to make an appearance. Following words almost fall off his lips in a tremble but Karen can tell it’s because he’s moved and is trying to collect himself, his emotions and thoughts. This is a big step for him - she knows.
“I have. And I don’t think I wanna stop again.”
Their talk lasts a few more minutes; just long enough for Jake to explain that he couldn’t sleep, too excited about the fact that he loved Amy Santiago and, even better, she loved him! Instead of staying in bed, restless and thus risking waking up Amy, he’d carefully disentangled himself from his girlfriend’s grip and decided to go for a night stroll. Next thing he knew he was calling his mom’s number.
“I should probably go, mom. I don’t want Amy to wake up alone.”
They say their goodbyes and when Karen finally gets to meet his daughter-in-law a few weeks later, at Jake’s chaotic birthday dinner, she is even more sure: their golden thread is so very strong.
Moving in together
The first time Karen visits Jake and Amy’s apartment (the words still make his stomach twist and turn with excitement every time he says it or even thinks it), Amy is out getting groceries for the dinner they’ll all be preparing together.
Jake proudly gives his mom a full apartment tour explaining where he’s added his Peralta-touch to the household while still praising his girlfriend’s taste in interior design. She has to laugh at the huge Die Hard poster discreetly hung on the inside of their closet door. Framed pictures of the couple together hung and standing around the apartment only makes Karen’s heart melt even more.
“How are you guys liking living together so far?”
They’re in the kitchen, Jake is preparing them both a cup of coffee.
“I mean, we already took constant turns crashing at the other’s place so it doesn’t feel that brand new, but still…” he pauses to smile and pours his mother a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee before continuing. “This is so much better. We share a home now. She is officially my home now, yanno?”
“I’m proud of you, Jakey,” Karen playfully ruffles her son’s curly hair, something she rarely gets to do but still immensely enjoys every time. It reminds her of when he was still a little kid and hits her with just how far he’s become. She’s not just proud: she’s so proud.
“Plus, now I get to annoy her 24/7, which is great,” he laughs and Karen playfully pinches his ear.
“Be nice to her, Jacob,” she’s chuckling too.
“I am! Our relationship is practically built on a foundation of pestering and messing with each other. Trust me; she loves it.”
Prison
“Amy… I miss her so much.”
As if the fact that her son has been wrongly accused and is facing 15 years in prison isn’t agonizing enough, Karen also has to suffer the pain it causes her to hear her son cry out to her over the very rare phone calls they get these days.
“When I say I’m afraid of never getting out of here-” he heaves between fallen, sobbed words; sobbed words which Karen knows he tries to subdue in order to not show the other inmates weakness. But it’s hard; impossible. “It’s mostly because I’m afraid of not seeing her again. Every time she visits-,” a sniffle “I’m always afraid that it’s the last time I see her. And all I wanna do is kiss her and hold her, but i just- I can’t. I miss her so so much, mom.”
Karen’s heart breaks alongside her son’s, even hours and miles between them, tears rolling down her red cheeks. She knows she has to be strong for him, and that it’s harder for him than for herself. Denying the ache and fear in every cell of her body is impossible though… But she has to keep her head up for him.
“It’ll be okay, honey,” Karen forces herself to stop crying when she speaks and will instead let the tears fall freely whenever he can’t hear it. “The squad is doing everything they can to get you out.”
“I know... “ he takes a deep breath and Karen can tell he’s trying to collect himself for good this time. “H-how is she?”
For a split second Karen considers lying, not telling him that she’s spent multiple nights consoling a crying Amy and even sleeping over at their place when the young woman was too tired to take care of herself. She considers telling him she’s fine, but she knows it’s pointless: Jake and Amy are two open books who tell each other everything. Just like Amy knows Jake has never been more afraid and seeks hope in every second he gets to be with or even just talk to her, Jake knows Amy is struggling though she’s a trooper and tries to fight through it as seamlessly as possible.
“I visited her on Wednesday and…” Karen bites her lip but eventually a sigh escapes her. “You know how she feels... It’s hard for both of you. But she’s strong, honey and she manages. And on the days where she can’t, I’m there with her. I promise.”
Silence.
He’s holding back tears again.
“I love you both, mom. So so much. You two are what is going to get me through this.”
“I love you too, Jacob.”
Their golden thread might be strained, but now is time for it to show its strength.
Engaged
He can’t put it into words, at least not properly, because how does one describe how it feels to be the happiest man alive? How does one describe such a wide, complex, incredible range of emotions? It’s impossible.
Instead he settles for a text.
It’s truly comical but also very much them: a picture of Amy in the evidence locker, still partially crying although of course also smiling as she shows off the shiny ring on her finger. It’s followed by the message:
‘MOM, I’M MARRYING HER!!!’
Later that night, tipsy after celebrating at Shaw’s, Jake and Amy facetime Karen. It’s safe to say that she gets a good laugh at 3-drink Amy showing off her new, favorite bling while Jake is all over her, placing small kisses to various parts of her face.
“Okay, you two... I’m going to hang up before this goes beyond a PG-rating. Once again congratulations. I love you both and can’t wait to see you soon.”
Married
Bomb threats, ruined cakes and a lost veil are just a few of the things that go horribly wrong on Jake and Amy’s wedding day.
Now, a few weeks later, all these tiny disasters seem to be long forgotten, almost as if they’d never happened.
“... But in the end we’re married and that’s all that matters,” Jake finishes telling his mother the tale of their chaotic but incredibly beautiful and unique wedding which was followed by a PG-rated version of their trip to Mexico.
The three of them are taking up the space of Karen’s living room as they chat and drink their usual coffee. Jake’s arm is slung around his new wife’s shoulders, fingers interlaced with a happiness and peace that warms the mother’s heart. Compared to the anxiety and sadness they all experienced during Jake’s time in Florida and then later on in prison, this moment in time is a major contrast. It’s a moment which Karen at times had feared she’d never be able to witness ever again. Yet here they were, the three of them together in the same room and Jake looked happier than ever. He was married to the love of his life, showing off a warm glow that he could thank both happiness and the Mexican sun for.
“I’m so happy for you two. It was always meant to be this way.”
Karen beams just as much as the married couple, feeding off the pure bliss they display in each other’s company. Amy perks up at the comment growing curious.
“Always?” she questions with a smile.
“The second he told me that the new girl was “pretty cool”, I knew something was meant to happen.”
Jake feels blood rushing to his cheeks even though said new girl is now his wife.
“Aw, babe,” Amy turns to him flashing a teasing grin. Every opportunity to tease must be put to good use. “I can’t believe you’ve been into me for so long. How embarrassing for you.”
“Hey!” He whines and it’s clear to see that he’s trying to fight the blush and embarrassment alas it’s already way too late. ”Be nice to your husband, Mrs. Peralta.”
“Not my fault that you’re so into me, Mr. Peralta.”
There’s a short pause in the conversation where Jake realises there’s no way out unless he uses her own teasing ways against her.
“I’m a lucky man… I guess,” he counters playfully and it earns him a just as playful slap to the shoulder.
“You guess?”
Amy is quick to pull away  although doesn’t allow their fingers to untangle while she sends him a mock-pout.
“Be nice, Jake.”
Karen loves her son but will also, at any given time, take Amy’s side before his. Jake came to learn this the second he introduced the two women and they started gossiping about him. He would care to mind if it wasn’t for the fact that there was nothing better than his two favorite women getting along so well.
“I’m joking, babe,” he loses no time and before Amy can add anything he’s pulled her back into the nook of his arm, adding a kiss the top of her head - just for good measure (and because he’s crazy about her). “I’m the luckiest man alive.”
Their golden thread has tied an everlasting knot.
Trying
Jake and Amy trying for a baby had been such a joyous announcement, and Karen will never forget the proud look on her son’s face the day he told her. Although tonight, said proud and happy expression is long gone, forgotten and dissolved by the many months of planning, trying and holding on to their hope.
Jake is once again, as so many times before, on his mother’s sand-colored couch with warm coffee in hand but this time with a look of despair painted across his pale face. While she’s been getting cookies in the kitchen he’s fallen into deep thought and doesn’t say anything for a while. Even after she comes back and sits down across from him. The silence might be needed, Karen thinks and, of course, respects it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t shake her to the core when the next thing he says seems to question every ounce of happiness he’s ever lived.
“What if all along I’ve been the wrong choice? A bad choice.”
His eyes doesn’t budge from the same spot, an old coffee stain on the couch, he’s been staring emptily at for the past minutes. Even as he speaks.
“What if she was supposed to be with someone else. Someone who can give her the family she wants… the family she deserves.”
It doesn’t even sound like a question at this point but rather a horrible fact he states in a moment of frustration and agony, and it ignites a fury within the mother because she knows it’s his anxiety and fear of abandonment speaking. She knows that their love is way bigger than that.
Things are far from easy right now. On the other hand Karen hasn’t witnessed them fight and overcome every obstacle imaginable, everything from a stupid mattress to being sent away to both Florida and prison, only to come to this. This isn’t the tip of the thread. A golden thread isn’t spun without reason. It’s spun for the fated.
“Has Amy ever made a bad choice?” she asks.
For the first time in a long time Jake actually looks at his mom. He pauses but she knows he doesn’t have to think. Karen knows that in his eyes Amy can do no wrong.
“No… I just-”
“Okay, so do you honestly think that her wanting and fighting for a baby with you is a bad choice? Even if it doesn’t come easy.”
There’s another silence, longer this time, which hopefully means that something resonates inside his head even though Karen knows it’s a dark and confusing place right now.
“No, I guess…”
“No, don’t say “you guess”. You know, Jake Peralta. You love Amy and she loves you. I know it seems like life keeps on throwing you curveballs and I wish it wasn’t so, but trust me when I say that it’s not because it’s a wrong or bad choice. You being with Amy is the best, most right doing I’ve ever witnessed, and I’m so proud of it. Stop doubting yourself. Your love is too good for that. You’re too good for that, honey.”
Her voice had started out a bit rough, just to make sure to get her point across, but by her the last sentence it has grown soft like butter and Jake can’t help but fall into his mother’s arms. He knows she’s right and it’s in moments like these that, moments where he wants to give up, he’s glad to have her to fight off his demons.
“I just want to give her everything she deserves, mom,” he mumbles into her shoulder, still holding on for dear life; so closely that Karen swears she can feel his heart breaking against her chest. “And I know I’ve been hesitant about it in the past, but now I just-”
Karen feels him let go of her and straighten his back. His eyes are shiny and there’s so much hope but also hurt in them.
“... I really want to be a dad. I really do. And then I wanna do it right.”
Karen knows what he’s hinting at and the sentiment is so valid even though she’s back together with Roger and their father-son relationship has grown stronger.  
“You will be, honey. One way or another,” she whispers and reaches out to stroke his cheek. “And you will be the best. I promise you.”
Pregnant
Mother knows best, Jake can’t help but think on the magical evening Amy tells him the best thing he’s ever heard: she’s pregnant. The world seems to flourish around him like never before.
Of course the first person he wants to tell is his mom, but him and Amy quickly agree on keeping the amazing news to themselves, or at least until their baby has hit the safety that the 12-week mark comes along with.
Until then Jake and Amy plan on how to break the news to Karen (and Roger, of course) and Jake almost can’t believe it when the day finally arrives. Their 12-week check was just yesterday, and to everyone’s relief and joy their baby is growing as they should and thriving in their mother’s womb. They both shed a tear and ask for an extra set of ultrasound pictures to give to the future grandparents - both on his and Amy’s side.  
During dinner with Karen and Roger the following day, Jake is on the verge of bursting, yelling out the news the very second his parents arrive. Although a humbling squeeze of the hand from his wife keeps him in check until dessert. Here the hand squeeze feels different and Jake knows now is the time.
“By the way,” Jake gets up and heads to the kitchen to get another tub of ice cream. “We have a little extra surprise for dessert…”
Roger and Karen frown in unison as both of them are yet to finish what’s already in their respective bowls. Jake ignores it and comes back with a tub of…
“Lime ice cream?” Roger asks, clearly confused by the very specific flavour.
“I didn’t even know that was a thing,” Karen chuckles, always being the one to lighten the mood.
“Well,” Jake smiles with content as he sits back down. “I promise you: you don’t wanna skip this part. It’s the best.”
And so of course Karen is quickly hands on, pulls off the lid and is ready to dig in with her spoon but halts the second she gets to take a good look at the bucket’s content: a small piece of paper. Neither her or Roger understand a thing, and being too preoccupied by their confusion they fail to notice the wide grins on the other couple’s faces.
Karen takes the leap and digs out the picture quickly noticing something scribbled onto it with neat handwriting - Amy’s, of course.
Hi, grandma and grandpa. I’m now 12 weeks old and the size of a lime! I can’t wait to meet you <3
Karen feels her heart skip a bit, maybe even stop entirely for multiple seconds and looks to Jake and Amy for some kind of approval or… she’s not even sure of what. All she’s sure of is that she’s on the brim of exploding. Her son nods biting down on his bottom lip in excitement, and when she flips the piece of paper she’s met by the most wonderful picture she’s ever seen: their future grandchild, tiny as can be, in black and white, and completely perfect.
Karen tears her eyes away from her grandchild to look at her son to be met by his almost trembling voice and shiny eyes.  
“Good thing my mom was right when she told me that I would be a dad some day.”
Jake’s eyes are so sincere with tears threatening to spill as he holds his mother’s gaze talking directly to her, and it’s safe to say there’s waterfall’s worth of happy tears that evening.
Welcoming mac
The day Mac is born Jake feels as if his heart is suddenly beating and living outside of his chest in the shape of his son. There’s so much love even before their son officially arrives, but nothing can possibly top the feeling of holding him in his arms feeling the infant’s hand wraps around Jake’s thumb. Love is shooting through the roof and up to the moon. Never before has Jake felt so much love for someone’s he’s just met before and it’s scary in the best way.
He’s sitting in an armchair by Amy’s hospital bed, his wife fast asleep after the most exhausting hours of her life, when the door to their room pops open. He doesn’t even bother looking up at first as he’s too busy gazing lovingly at the bundle of love in his arms.
“Oh my goodness.”
Jake head perks up immediately recognizing the sound of his mother’s voice. By now she’s closing the door behind her, quietly.
“Hi, mom. Come say hi.”
Karen can hear his smittenness in his voice and sits down on a smaller chair next to him to better see her brand new grandson. It’s immediately clear as day that the newest Peralta is the perfect mix of both parents. Chubby cheeks, dark hair, full lips and a nose she’s gonna want to kiss over and over again.
“Meet McClane. Mac for short,” Jake informs her stroking his son’s chubby cheek.
“It’s perfect,” Karen clucks and follows suit stroking Mac’s other cheek. “He’s beautiful, honey. You must be so proud. I know I am.”
For various obvious reasons Jake has always struggled with acknowledging pride - even when he’s clearly felt it, he’s found it difficult to say it out loud or fully believe it. Today is different though and he wants to scream it from the rooftops: he’s so freaking proud of his beautiful baby son and his incredible wife.
He smiles fondly as he nods in agreement.
“I really am, mom. Proud of myself but especially of Amy. I’ll explain it further later but I Amy went into labor at the precinct, I was out helping with the blackout and almost missed the birth. I just barely got there before Mac was born and Amy managed everything like a pro. I can’t believe I’ve made a human with her. She’s the best… I’m so lucky.”
Jake looks at Karen sensing that she’s going to speak.
“I can’t imagine any other person for you than her, and together you’ve formed a beautiful little family, honey. One to be very proud of, so don’t forget to give in to that feeling, okay?”
Karen hand travels from sleeping Mac’s cheek to her son’s curly hair, on a mission to stroke it like she always would when he was a child and it prompts Jake to lean his head onto her shoulder. From his new vantage point he looks back at Mac, then Amy.
They’re his whole world, his two ends meeting and Karen can only sit by to admire the scene before her. Never has Karen felt more sure of the fact that there was always one single thread of gold tying Jake to Amy.
(And Mac).
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vampiregirl1797 · 4 years
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When You Have a Breakdown at Work
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Jake Peralta x Reader
 GIF Not Mine
 Word Count: 3,184
 Warnings: maybe a little angst, & so much fluff
 Click Here For Masterlist
 Summary: Y/N’s having a bad day at work. The brother she hasn’t heard from in five years called to ask for bail money, and it brings back a lot of painful memories. More specifically, the memories of her parents turning her away after she removed the presence of her toxic brother from her life. Work isn’t the best place to have a breakdown, but the evidence room offers some privacy as she slowly falls apart, and when her partner finds her, his warm embrace provides some much needed comfort. As Y/N tells him what happened, he finds himself unable to hold his words back and ends up confessing how much she means to him. How will she react?
 I took another deep breath and forced myself to gently place my phone back on my desk, instead of throwing it through one of the precinct windows like I wanted to. Now wasn’t the time to express my anger and complete frustration—I was at work. Now was the time to be professional and get on with my job, no matter how unbelievably annoying my brother was.
He’d done it again. Gotten himself arrested for having drugs on his person and in his system evidently. His sentence was going to be higher than it usually was because the high quantity of illegal substances he had on him led the cops who arrested him to believe he had the intent to distribute. Hell, I wouldn’t even be surprised if he had turned to dealing—he couldn’t hold down any other work so why wouldn’t he try and make some money to ensure he could keep up his habit.
 I’d really tried with him, he was a year and seven months younger than me, and despite the fact that he towered over me and looked about forty five rather than thirty one, he was my little brother. But I’d disowned him about five years ago, after he’d gone off the rails for the third time, and I’d had to use what little savings I had to bail him out of jail, again. I realised then that I wasn’t family to him. I was a bank that he called up when he needed someone to come and save him because he couldn’t face the repercussions of his actions.
 That was the last time I’d saved his ass, and I told him that from that moment, as far as I was concerned, I no longer had a little brother. I was officially an only child. He hadn’t taken it well and my parents had taken it worse—they’d retaliated by disowning me. It had been hard for a while afterwards, but when I got transferred to the 99th precinct in Brooklyn, I found a new family. One that was better than the one I’d had, and I was incredibly grateful to have them all in my life every day.
 So, after all of this time, it came as a shock to receive a call from him. He’d gotten himself arrested again and apparently mom and dad couldn’t afford to bail him out this time. I idly wondered exactly how many other time’s they’d had to cough up some bail money for their perfect son, especially if it had gotten to the point of them having nothing left this time. I knew mom and dad had a nice little nest egg they’d put aside for their retirement—had he drained it all? I felt my heart clench at what that meant for them, but I didn’t let myself linger on it—it was their choice to keep him in their lives and ignore his toxic tendencies. I was not responsible for their choices and I was certainly not going to suffer the consequences of their actions.
 ‘Hey, Y/N did you finish the report for that B and E?’ Jake’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
 ‘Uh, yeah it’s on Holt’s desk.’ I forced a smile, grabbing some extra files I needed to finish and standing up, ‘I’m gonna go and finish these somewhere else. It’s a little loud in here, I can’t concentrate.’
 I fled before Jake could say anything in response—if I gave him the chance to talk he would comment on the fact that the bullpen was quieter than it ever was because him and I were the only ones there. Well, aside from Sarge and the Captain, but both were always quiet because they had their own paperwork to be getting on with. Rosa and Charles were out on a case and Amy was off for the weekend—apparently she was going to see a TED talk on body language…at least I think that’s what she’d said. Gina was out on lunch, but she’d been gone for at least two hours now—I was anyone’s guess if and when she was coming back.
 So really, needing quiet was a bogus excuse and Jake would pick up on that and start asking me what was wrong, and I didn’t want to talk about it. At least, not here anyway. Jake already knew about the non-existent relationship I had with my family—he was my partner and the stake outs, undercover missions and late nights filling out paperwork led to a lot of time for bonding. It was safe to say that the hyperactive man knew me better than anyone on the squad, or rather, anyone ever. There was just something about the brown haired, brown-eyed boy that made it impossible not to feel comfortable around him. I didn’t know if it was just a part of his personality, or if he was just the first and only person I’d ever clicked with so fast. Either way, I was lucky to have him in my life, as someone I could tell anything to, as someone I knew I could call at three in the morning because I needed to talk to someone who would listen… as someone I was starting to care for as more than a friend.
 I shook my head free of those thoughts and took a seat at the desk in the evidence room. I will only focus on my paperwork. With a determined nod I opened my files and started filling out the relevant information, placing sticky tabs onto the pages I’d need to get Peralta to sign too. It didn’t take as long as I’d thought and in no time, I’d finished the four lots of reports and I was staring blankly at one of the many plain brown boxes piled on the shelves of evidence lock up.
 These were times when I’d distract myself, refusing to linger on the pain and abandonment that sprang up inside of me whenever I thought about my family. Usually it worked great, and I got to a point where I could go months without them even crossing my mind. But I guess hearing my brother’s voice earlier was making it more difficult—he’d opened up the wound and I was going to have to wait for the skin to stitch itself back together.
 I knew I’d made the right decision for me—my brother was toxic and even though it hadn’t been easy, I’d cut him out of my life, because I just couldn’t be happy while I was constantly waiting for the phone to ring to bail his ass out of whatever problem he’d managed to get himself into. The thought of that isn’t what hurt; what hurt more than anything was how easily and quickly my parents had turned their backs on me. How couldn’t they see how poisonous, how selfish he was? Why couldn’t they understand why I had to do what I did?
 I took a deep breath and when it turned into a sob, the tears in my eyes spilled over. I leaned back in my chair, pulling my knees up to my chest and decided to indulge in a good cry. Everyone needed that once and a while, right? I hid my face in my knees and just let the tears, the sobs, all of it out. I’d been holding it in for a long time—while I’d shed a few tears over this predicament over the last five years, I’d never let myself go this much. And while my heart was throbbing painfully and my throat was starting to feel raw, it felt good to purge all of the feelings of abandonment, anger and hurt from my body.
 Being so lost in crying I hadn’t heard someone join me in the evidence room and I just about jumped a mile when I felt a hand on my back. I looked up to see Jake, his hands held in front of him defensively and his brown eyes shining with concern. Without much thought I practically leaped into his arms and buried my face in his chest, the sobs and tears continuing to fall from me—I was too far in to stop now, I had to let it run its course. Jake’s arms wound around me and he rested his chin on top of my head, murmuring soothing things to me. Eventually he sat in the chair I’d been on when he’d arrived, pulling me onto his lap and allowing me to nuzzle further into his warmth. He started to rub the bottom of my back comfortingly and I just about melted into him as the tears finally started to subside.
 I don’t know how long we were sat there for, but he never once complained or pushed me to talk about what had caused this reaction, even after the tears stopped. He just kept rubbing my back and occasionally placing a chaste kiss to my hair, which made my heart skip in my chest every time. I nuzzled my way up to the crook of his neck, inhaling his cologne and not fighting as my eyes fluttered shut at the comfort and security that intensified around me.
 ‘Thank you, Jake.’ I murmured, my voice was low but even I could hear how weak it sounded.
 ‘It’s no problem, Y/N.’ He kissed my hair again and I could sense that he was bracing himself to ask me something that he was worried I wouldn’t want to hear, ‘did something happen?’
 The question didn’t make me stiffen defensively like it would have if anyone else had asked. But coming from him, I didn’t mind, and so instead I sighed and melted further into him.
 ‘My bother called.’ I felt him stiffen momentarily—he knew that couldn’t mean anything good, especially with the state he’d found me in, ‘he was arrested for possession and intent to distribute. Mom and dad couldn’t afford to bail him out this time, apparently I was his last resort.’
 ‘What did you tell him?’ he asked, a little hesitantly.
 ‘I told him that I didn’t care and that it was about time he faced some repercussions for his actions. He told me I was a bitch and that I was dead to him. I told him he’d been dead to me for five years, harsh but true.’ I shrugged and Jake’s index finger tilted my chin up so he could study my eyes. I assumed he was trying to figure out if I was actually feeling as casual and dismissive as I was acting over the conversation I’d had with my brother.
 He frowned in confusion, ‘you don’t seem upset about that, so what’s bought this on?’
 Another sigh fell from me, my eyes fluttering closed as his hand caressed the side of my face, ‘over the past five years I’d gotten good at not thinking about my family, I’d just distract myself whenever a thought about them popped into my head.’ He nodded, but the crease between his brows hinted that his confusion lingered, ‘and I got to a point where they wouldn’t cross my mind for months, but that phone call, hearing his voice just bought it all back. Tore open the wound all over again, and while I honestly don’t care about my brother no longer being in my life… it still hurts that my mom and dad just disowned me so easily. I still don’t understand why. I get that they were pissed at me for disowning him, but why can’t they understand that with him in my life I was only ever on edge? That I couldn’t be truly happy while I was waiting for the phone to ring with him asking for more money to bail him out of whatever trouble he’d gotten himself into?’
 The pain in Jake’s eyes made my eyes tear up all over again, touched that he seemed to care enough that my sadness affected him so deeply. I took a deep breath, determined to get it all out.
 ‘My anger has stopped me from shedding more than a few tears over the years, I never let it out, never let myself properly grieve for the parents I lost. And for some reason I decided that here in the evidence lock up was the best location for that to happen.’ My tone turned a little light-hearted at the end and Jake acknowledged my effort by smiling a little, but the pain still lingered in his eyes.
 ‘I’m so sorry, Y/N.’ He said, his words coming out so quickly that I had to concentrate to catch them all, it was as if he’d been holding it in for a long time and now he was rushing to get it all out, ‘I’m sorry that your parents and your brother didn’t realise how lucky they were to have you in their lives. I’m sorry that they just disowned you so easily, without recognising what a loss it would be and how empty their lives must be without you in it. I’m sorry that they hurt you.’ His eyes were shining with such intensity as he spoke and when he paused to take a breath, a softness appeared in them that made my breath catch, ‘I’m sorry they didn’t appreciate how incredible you are when they had the chance, but I’m not sorry that they’re never going to get the chance again. Because they don’t deserve it, they don’t deserve to have you in their lives. They don’t deserve to know the person you are now because they didn’t realise how kind, sweet, caring and loving you were then. They don’t deserve to know all of the achievements you’ve accomplished in your career and your personal life.’ He gently wiped away the tears as they fell down my cheeks, ‘the truth is, Y/N, I don’t understand how anyone could ever turn their back on you, because I cannot imagine my life without you. It would be empty, a lot less fun, I wouldn’t be as enthusiastic to come to work because I wouldn’t have the fact that I would get to see you to motivate me.’
 ‘Jake,’ I whispered, overwhelmed and I feeling myself fall that little bit more in love with him.
 ‘I know I’m being a little intense here and I hope that it’s not freaking you out, but I wanted you to know that I and everyone in your life now, would never be able to abandon you like they did. You have a family, you have a home here.’ He kissed my forehead.
 His proximity didn’t diminish after, as he rested his forehead against mine, close enough that I could feel his breath mingling with mine, both of us suddenly breathing sporadically. I knew he wouldn’t move close enough to kiss me, he would leave the power in my hands, and if I pushed him away he would immediately get off me and give me space. But I didn’t want space; I wanted to feel his lips moving against mine, I wanted to taste his skin on my tongue. My hands trailed up either side of his neck and moved through his soft brunette hair, Jake’s eyes darkened with lust and I felt my knees go weak—if I’d still been standing I would have crumpled to the floor. I gently pulled him towards me, close enough to close the small gap between us.
 The kiss started off tender, his soft lips dancing gently with mine as we tentatively learned how to move together. Once the shyness melted into the heat of our lust, the kiss became more passionate, me shifting in his lap to straddle him, my hands tightening in his hair when he gripped my waist tighter to pull me closer. I felt a moan tumble from me when he flicked his tongue against mine—I’d never had that kind of reaction when kissing anyone before, but no one had ever kissed me so expertly, so effortlessly as if he knew what I wanted when I didn’t. I felt myself melt into him as his tongue dominated mine, another sound of pleasure leaving my throat. I was overwhelmed with the affect he was having on me—my whole body was tingling with electricity, my bones felt like they’d melted and a knot of pleasure was forming in my belly and growing so quickly that I felt like I was going to burst into flames at any moment.
 Eventually we reluctantly pulled apart, our bodies needing the oxygen we’d been denying it for too long. My forehead fell to his shoulder as I tried to get my breathing under control, and when I felt like I could speak again a breathy, ‘wow’ was whispered into the skin of his neck.
 ‘That was the hottest moment of my life.’ His voice was breathy too and I lifted my head to look at him, a teasing smile on my face.
 ‘Title of your sex tape.’ I winked, laughing with him, though I stopped abruptly when he sat up straighter, his hands tightening on my waist to assure he didn’t drop me.
 He gasped, ‘title of our sex tape!’
 I threw my head back, a loud laugh tumbling from my throat as I slapped the hand he held up for a high five. He entwined our fingers together and pulled me closer, placing a short but passionate and loving kiss to my lips. His eyes were soft when we pulled apart, and I knew that I was observing him in the same adoring way as my free hand fell to the back of his neck, playing with the longer strands of his soft hair.
 ‘I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Jake Peralta.’ I murmured, kissing his nose when he bashfully grinned, his eyes softening even more.
 ‘Not as lucky as I am.’ His hand caressed the side of my face, his eyes tender with adoration and sincerity, and he bought our lips together once again.
 As our lips moved together once again, I couldn’t help but thank whatever deity had bought Jake Peralta and the rest of the squad into my life. Because Jake was right, I did have a family here, one that was better and stronger than the relationships I used to have with my mom, dad and brother. But I was especially grateful for Jake. For his kindness, generosity, for caring about me, for loving me. We might not have said it, but I knew he felt it, just as I knew he was sure that I felt the same for him—it was clear in our eyes as we looked at each other and our touch as we held one another.
 And as our kiss deepened with fervour, I was certain that I would go through all the pain that came with my parents disowning me a thousand times over, if it meant that I would be blessed with having Jake Peralta in my life when it was done.
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b99fandomevents · 5 years
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Thank you again to the awesome folks who joined our first ever Fic Exchange!!! We hope you enjoyed writing your fics as much as we loved reading them. 
Under the cut is a masterlist of all the submitted works, compiled and arranged in alphabetical order by the amazing @amez-santiago. ♡ (If you don’t see your fic here or notice any errors, please let us know!) 
If you’re interested in joining the Fall 2019 Fic Exchange, definitely keep an eye out for our next announcement post within the next couple of weeks. 
a summer rain is passing over, and it feels like a dream | AO3
↝ by @exploding-snapple for @storyinmyeyes​
Amy takes Jake to go see a play, but it’s really the walk home afterward that he enjoys the most. (set a few weeks after 3x02)
Cause you’re what I always wanted | AO3
↝ by @sandylovesfandoms for @a-wren-d
Rosa shows Gina Babylon, and sparks fly
Coming Out | AO3
↝ by @the-poodles-of-pulitzer for @yaboring-yabasic
Rosa’s POV for coming out.
Dancing around each other | AO3
↝ by @disruptedvice for @amydancepants-peralta
“Ah! Amy! Help!” Jake shrieked the moment she answered her phone, not really concerned about volume control since he was kinda trying to not die at the moment. It had gotten through four rings before she finally picked up, and this would’ve been it for Jake if it’d gone straight to voicemail. Amy frowned, looking around as if he could see her, but soon brushed it off as her being paranoid. “Jake? What’s wrong?” “I’ve got the goose!” He shouted, jumping to dodge another swipe that could only be described as intelligent and intent. “The goose is here! The goose is here!”
Soulmate AU where one person finds a goose who leads them to the other person. The difficulty comes in not being mauled by a goose 
doggone summer | AO3
↝ by @timeforginasopinion for @sandylovesfandoms
Amy should have known it was going to be an awful summer from the moment Jake Peralta appeared on her front doorstep carrying a dog. “Morning, Ames,” he chirps, irritatingly cheerful, as if he’s passing her in the hallway at school rather than standing in front of her house during the sadly fleeting time of year she’s supposed to be free of this bullshit. “Cheddar, say hi to Amy.” The corgi swaddled in his arms, predictably, doesn’t respond. Jake fixes it with an offended frown. “Well, that was rude.” Amy sneezes a lot and thinks longingly of her bowl of oatmeal squares, now growing soggy on the kitchen counter. Her life was so much simpler ten minutes ago.
everything's good, everything's just as it should be | AO3
↝ by @fezzle for @the-poodles-of-pulitzer 
“Jake,” she starts, slow and deliberate. “Do you know who I am?” He stares at her a moment before shaking his head, and her stomach swoops. Oh my god. or Jake gets an appendectomy, and there happens to be an amusing side effect as he wakes up from his anesthesia.
foolishly, completely falling | AO3 [E]
↝ by @fezzle for @kamekamelea
“Are you… asking to hook up with me?” Amy asks slowly, every syllable enunciated carefully. “Whaaaat? No! Nope. No, I definitely was not! What I meant to say was -’’ “Becausetheanswerisyes.”Jake freezes, eyes bugging. “Wh-What?” “I-I said yes.” or Jake and Amy are friends with benefits. What could go wrong?
Heads and Hot Dogs and the Best Day Ever | AO3
↝ by @vernonfielding for @nerd-husbands
Nikolaj spends a day at the precinct not helping Rosa solve a case. He's never been happier. 
hold me in this wild, wild world | AO3
↝ by @dmigod for @santiagoswagger
He wants to say he doesn’t know how he got into this situation, but he knows exactly how it happened (or, at least mostly): with a bet. It’s not news to anyone that he and his professional partner are competitive—Santiago is a type A tightwad who feels like she has to prove herself to everyone (except him), and Jake, well, Jake likes to spite her. And to win. He really, really loves winning.
hold me in this wild, wild world | AO3
↝ by @johnny-and-dora for @meepmorpperaltiago
“It takes every ounce of willpower he has left not to kiss her like it’s their last night on earth. Despite the odds, he refuses to kiss her like he’s saying goodbye.” or, a forbidden love/royalty/fairytale au in which jake comes up with an alternative solution to amy being forced into an arranged marriage with the most boring man in the seven kingdoms.
i found a mirror for my soul (i don’t need no other) | AO3
↝ by @b99peraltiago for @exploding-snapple
When she realizes her sleeve has rolled up a little, showing the skin of her wrist and tries to cover it again, it’s already too late. Jake’s seen it. He’s caught sight of the glowing “S” printed there. “S” as in, Soulmate. Amy finally found hers – and, obviously, it’s not him. (Post-4x22 soulmates AU, in which Jake and Amy are not soulmates and she finds hers while Jake is in jail.)
i’ll put it all on the line | AO3
↝ by @amydancepants-peralta for @callginalinetti
"We have to find her, Jake!” He looks up from an evidence marker, furrowing his brow. “I’m sorry … her?” “Your mystery woman! The beautiful woman you were stuck on the subway with. She’s obviously your soulmate.”
I’m going home, to the place where I belong (where your love has always been enough) | AO3
↝ by @storyinmyeyes for @outofinspo
It’s moving in day for Jake and Amy and she’s a little stressed out over all the boxes that need unpacking, but in true Jake fashion, he provides a distraction.
I’ve got a really bad feeling I’m gonna love you so good | AO3
↝ by @amesantiagos for @romanovember
A typical Friday night at Shaw’s bar with the Nine-Nine …or not quite. “Really, I just wanted to check if you’re okay.” “Why wouldn’t I be?” She frowns at him, her eyes dark in the dimly lit booth, “and why do you even care?” “Well, first off, that’s rude,” he raises he eyebrows at her, “and secondly, because you’re my partner, and I know I normally come across as a badass, emotionless action-hero like type– ” “No, you don’t.”
if they’re meant to be together, they won’t stay too long apart | AO3
↝ by @startofamoment for @e11evenseggos
They’d first met in the fall of their freshman year. Amy can still remember it with perfect clarity: how Jake rushed into the lecture hall, hair unruly and plaid shirt rumpled. He looked like he’d just woken up, or maybe never slept. Perhaps he’d pulled an all nighter in prep for their big exam. (She had gotten the recommended eight hours of sleep, naturally, and had gotten up with more than enough time to have a balanced breakfast and to go over her review sheets.)
It is like Oatmeal……. | AO3
↝ by @dancezwithwolvez for @cheddar-the-dog
Another chance.
it’s your love i’m lost in | AO3
↝ by @stolethekey for @ofbuttsandbombs
She smiles. “That’s been the theme of the entire Holt-Cozner relationship. Finding love, despite everything telling them that they cannot. Being confronted with danger, with fear, with risk, but making the incredibly brave choice to love anyway.” or, an mcu post-snap au in which holt and kevin renew their vows
julian santiago and the case of the sister’s mystery boyfriend | AO3 
↝ by @amyscascadingtabs for @397bartonstreet
Eventually, he makes the educated guess that there must be someone else in her life. She must have wanted for this to break-up to happen, he figures, and a new mystery lover could very well be the reason. Julian simply has to figure out who it is.
long live all the magic we made | AO3
↝ by @benwvatt for @startofamoment
He deserves to know about cheering charms, or spells that change mice into teapots, or a potion that could double his age. He belongs in her world, she thinks. If only he were. Rule number one of being a Santiago: Neighbors like the Peraltas don’t have any business knowing about magic. Amy ignores it and finds everything she was dreaming of.
of babies and binders
↝ by @a-wren-d for @acanoftrash
domestic peraltiago
Of Debates and Chickenshit Boys | AO3
↝ by @professionalpenthief for @imalloutofhoots
Amy’s happily dull life turns upside down when a mystery admirer’s love for her goes viral in her high school. As she navigates the new uncharted territories of being in the public eye, she finds love does defy all expectations. 
Regarding The Incident In Which Raymond Ran Away To Mexico | AO3
↝ by @nerd-husbands for @amesantiagos
“Can you clarify,” Kevin said into his cellphone, using his other arm to hail a cab, “how much wedding cake did Cheddar eat?"  The Honeymoon episode, from Kevin’s perspective.
Run, Hide, Fight (Show Me Going) | AO3
↝ by @cheddar-the-dog for @vernonfielding
around two days after the active shooter situation in Brooklyn Heights Hotel Rosa wakes up from a nightmare that she soon realizes was not a nightmare at all
sailing home once and for all | AO3
↝ by @kamekamelea for @disruptedvice
In the universe where Jake is a sailor from New York, he finds himself coming back home to this one special girl - detective Amy Santiago.
Sick Leave | AO3
↝ by @winnietherpooh for @amyscascadingtabs
Amy decides that Jake needs a vacation after he returns prison, and he finally begins to open up about his recovery as they read Harry Potter together.
Something more than a catalog of non-definitive acts | AO3
↝ by @chipmunksallshipklefan for @professionalpenthief
Jake and Amy go undercover as a couple.
The Beer Burglar | AO3
↝ by @outofinspo for @cheeto-anaconda
Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place crossover where Jake arrests Eleanor
The Date Night 
↝ by @meepmorpperaltiago for @amazingsantiago
Based on the prompts: jealous Amy and Jake being Amy’s hype man
The Desert Sucks, But Being a Damsel in Distress Isn’t Too Bad | AO3
↝ by @romanovember for @fezzle
I’m never drinking again. Jake Peralta thinks as he comes to consciousness, his mouth full of cotton swabs and sandpaper and his head pounding like a sledgehammer on concrete. Or maybe 50 million sledgehammers, a freight train and another 24 elephants. Ugh Jake rolls over, and pulls his crinkly and hot duvet closer, relaxing his aching and hungover body into the cool embrace of… sand? And on his head? An honest to god cowboy hat. Yeehaw?
The in-between | AO3 
↝ by @disruptedvice for @amydancepants-peralta
Amy’s thoughts between ���go back to being colleagues’ to ‘screw light and breezy’
the interrogation room | AO3
↝ by @yaboring-yabasic for @timeforginasopinion
one-shot based loosely on the prompts badly trying to keep a secret, locked in, and kid fic with some peraltiago, dianetti, and the whole squad.
the smell of coffee runs through my veins | AO3
↝ by @elsaclack for @winnietherpooh
five times jake smells like fresh coffee grounds (and one time he doesn’t)
the stars lean in a little closer all because of you 
↝ by @peraltasames for @b99peraltiago
baby peraltiago + beach house 2.0
there was a time when a moment like this wouldn’t ever cross my mind | AO3 [E] 
↝ by @kamekamelea for @disruptedvice
She looks deeply into his eyes, dark from the desire overwhelming him and whispers straight into his lips in an authoritative tone. “No, Jake. Fuck me with my uniform on.”
THIS BOY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME | AO3
↝ by @ofbuttsandbombs for @stolethekey
Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago, self- proclaimed 'best detectives of the Nine-Nine’ (and 'of the NYPD’, 'no, USA!’, 'no,the entire freaking world!!’, when they get a little drunk) are handed a routine murder investigation which goes off- track. Will this cause their already fragile relationship to change? The journey from 'Peralta and Santiago’ to 'Jake and Amy.’
time is ticking away (and there are too many things I wanna say) | AO3
↝ by @what-about-gay for @johnnydora
Amy is stressed because she can’t find her soulmate, while Jake couldn’t care less about his soulmate. Time is ticking and they have to find their soulmates, because when the clock is at zero and you haven’t found your soulmate yet, you and your soulmate both die.
Variations on sharing a bed 1/2/3 | AO3 [T to M]
↝ by @disruptedvice for @amydancepants-peralta
Peraltiago drabbles + sharing a bed trope
We Are The Greatest Love Story (The World Had Ever Seen) | AO3
↝ by @cheddar-the-dog for @dancezwithwolvez
the night they meet his life changes forever and he’d never go back to before or how the story of Kevin and Raymond found its start
we could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable | AO3
↝ by @stolethekey for @johnny-and-dora
Kylie hums, reaching over to unzip the back of Amy’s dress. “Well, whatever you’re not anxious about is going to lose his mind when he sees you in this. Seriously.” “He has a girlfriend,” Amy snaps, shimmying out of the dress and snatching her leggings off the wall. “And this isn’t for him.” - in which Amy throws a New Year's Eve party that subsequently implodes.
we were good at faking forever | AO3
↝ by @johnnydora for @dmigod
David Santiago has super powers. No matter how much effort Amy gives to everything she does, he always manages to beat her tenfold, including obtaining the girlfriend of his parents’ dream. With ten days until her brother Miguel’s wedding and no date, Amy has no choice but to convince the next person she sees to fall madly in love with her.
we were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart | AO3
↝ by @santiagoswagger for @benwvatt
Desperate to find a last minute gift for her mom, Amy stumbles into the only open flower shop in her neighborhood. Unfortunately, the florist is very annoying.
we won’t run (we can fight) | AO3
↝ by @amydancepants-peralta for @chipmunksallshipklefan
“Be careful who you give your midnights to, my darling. Midnights are for talking - for old friends and new; for truth and never for lies. When you’ve only got the stars to illuminate, everything else falls away. Midnights are for confessions.” Her hand falls to Amy’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “They’re for falling in love.” Well that’s just ridiculous. She and Jake were definitely not falling in love. Oh. Medieval AU where the evil King Vulture is ruining Brooklyne. Amy and Jake work together to take him DOWN.
whelp, this might be your view for the next seven years | AO3
↝ by @callginalinetti for @galaxygaydreams
sometimes you get to meet your soulmate twice (basically a new version of how jake and amy meet and fall in love)
When You’re Home
↝ by @397bartonstreet for @peraltasames
jake and amy’s first night back together after the ambulance scene in coral palms pt 3 + fluffy reunion goodness.
where’d you go, david santiago | AO3
↝ by @acanoftrash for @brillliant
when amy’s brother goes missing, she hires private detective jake peralta to find him.
You Already Know | AO3
↝ by @e11evenseggos for @what-about-gay
a one-shot of Gina and Rosa’s wedding ceremony.
you showed me something i can’t live without | AO3
↝ by @amazingsantiago for @dailyb99
Alternative ending to Casecation. Jake is left reeling after Amy’s “start over” comment. Title from ‘I Believe’ by the Jonas Brothers.
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thelighthousemp3 · 4 years
Text
in the spirit of halloween, i’d like to bring back a b99 heist fic i wrote a year ago!! haven’t been able to get much writing time in this year, so here it is from last year!
finders keepers, losers weepers
12:00 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist Unnamed
"H-h-heist time!" Jake calls. It's officially 12:00 AM of October 31, and he rolls out from under his desk fully dressed and tangled up in a red blanket. Jake quickly stands up and kicks the blanket and his pillow back under his desk. A light quickly flickers on in Captain Holt's office, right as the elevator door opens to reveal Amy Santiago-Peralta. She is in her sergeant's uniform, and she sends an evil smile towards Jake.
Jake immaturely sticks his tongue out at her. He swivels around and looks towards Captain Holt's office. He is sitting at his desk, glancing at Jake as well. Jake glares right back at both of them, and Amy quickly steps out of the elevator before it closes.
Suddenly, there is a loud thumping sound coming from the ceiling. Part of the ceiling pops open and out tumbles a ruffled -looking Charles Boyle.
"Guys! You're here! I'm on team Jake!" he says ecstatically, brushing what looks to be chicken feathers off of his shirt.
As Charles stands up, loud music ripples through the bullpen and reveals Gina Linetti, all wrapped up in her unicorn blanket. Except that she's not alone under the blanket.
A mess of curly black hair pops up and Rosa Diaz scowls at her coworkers. Gina shrugs the blanket off of them. "We're gonna win, bitches, so don't even think about―"
"Winning? That's my specialty," Terry Jeffords grins. He's wearing sweatpants and a white tank top, and he has emerged from a supply closet.
"Is everyone here? Staying in the bullpen overnight was my idea. I waited until you all left!" Jake whines. "I mean, at least Hitchcock and Scully actually went home."
"Actually, no. They're in the break room. Sleeping," Rosa says, and Jake frowns.
"Dammit! I thought I could count on those two, for once," Jake says. "Come on! None of you guys actually even went home?"
"I went home," Amy says. "Just to confirm that you weren't coming home."
"Yeah, okay, Ames. Why are you in your uniform? I mean, don't get me wrong; you look the hottest in it, but why?" Jake asks.
Amy shrugs. "I felt like it. Gonna carry out this heist in style," she says, rolling out the y. Amy unconsciously brushes off the sides of her uniform, and catches Jake staring. She rolls her eyes at him.
Jake quickly turns away and pulls half of a crushed bagel out of his pockets. "Well, at least I brought breakfast. Does anyone have any cream cheese? Or nutella?" Jake says, biting into his bagel.
"I brought breakfast too!" Charles exclaims. He scrambles to his desk and pulls out a large lunchbox. "Caviar and salmon pancakes, pigeon feet with bacon―"
Gina wrinkles her nose. "Please, do not eat any of that in front of us. Anyways, what are we gonna steal this year?"
Right on cue, Captain Holt emerges from his office, carrying a badge. "This is Sergeant Jefford's badge."
Terry's jaw drops as he glares at Captain Holt. "My badge! How'd you get that!"
"A heist master never reveals his secrets," Captain Holt says mysteriously. "Anyways, the objective of this year's heist is so steal Sergeant Jefford's badge. We do have some ground rules now, though. No one is allowed to put a tracker on the object of the heist. No one is allowed to put a tracker on each other. No cheating."
"Sir, what exactly do you mean by cheating?" Jake asks.
"I don't care, Peralta, just no cheating," Captain Holt says. "Now, Sergeant Jefford's badge will be put right here, in the middle of the bullpen." Captain Holt walks to the center of the bullpen, where a stand has already been set up. "Also, another rule that I had forgot to mention― You are not allowed to steal the badge and drive it to Kansas."
"Damn it!" Rosa says. "How'd you know?"
"You are not very good at hiding your notepads," Captain Holt tells her. Rosa rolls her eyes.
"Whatever. I'll drive it to Texas instead," Rosa mutters quietly under her breath, so that no one is able to hear her. She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her leather jacket.
"Don't worry. I have a better plan," Gina says to her, and kisses her on the cheek. Rosa's face softens and she gazes at Gina, until they both catch sight of Terry's eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Rosa glares at him. Terry puts two thumbs up and smiles joyfully at her.
"Teams!" Jake says. "Charles, you're with me. And if you dare give away my plan, then I will become best friends with Doug Judy forever and ever," Jake threatens.
"Sergeant Jeffords. I choose you for my team," Captain Holt says. Terry nods and goes to stand by Captain Holt's side.
"Well, I choose Rosa and Gina!" Amy yelps quickly.
"Not fair! I wanted Gina!" Jake complains. "You can't do that!"
"Yes she can," Gina says, examining a sharp purple nail. "Rosa and I come as a set. You can't separate us."
Rosa scowls, but she doesn't move to deny Gina's claim. They both walk over to stand by Amy.
"What about us? The numbers are uneven," Jake complains loudly.
"You guys can have Hitchcock and Scully," Rosa says. "Hitchcock! Scully! Wake. Up." Rosa calls, and a minute later, they stumble out of the break room, rubbing their eyes.
"Ugh, fine," Jake says. "Scully, you're on my team."
Captain Holt wrinkles his nose. "Hitchcock, you are the only one left, so I suppose that you are on my team," he says. Terry is vigorously shaking his head and mouthing the words no no no no no.
"Let the heist begin!" Jake calls enthusiastically as soon as Terry's badge is in its place a the center of the bullpen.
"Can Scully and I go back to sleep? If we don't get seventeen hours of sleep, then―"
"I don't wanna hear it, Hitchcock. We're going to win this heist," Terry says.
"Aw, man," Hitchcock scowls. He looks sadly towards Scully, who shrugs.
"Okay, back to work, everyone!" Captain Holt calls. "This precinct is not going to run itself."
"You got it, Cap'n," Jake says, pulling Charles along with him. Charles waves enthusiastically to Amy, who aggressively pulls both Rosa and Gina by their arms to a storage room.
12:16 AM, October 31,  The Storage Room With That Blue Couch, Object of Heist in Bullpen
"No, no, no! What are you doing, Amy! This place is probably bugged! This isn't where we should meet to talk about our secret plan! Someone will figure out what we're going to do!" Gina scolds.
"Yeah," Rosa says, "Gina's right. Jake or the Captain or someone is probably listening to us right now," Rosa says, pulling out her phone. She quickly types something into the notepad app, and shows it to Amy and Gina, who nod.
12:17 AM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist in Bullpen
Meanwhile, Captain Holt and Terry both meet in the Captain's office with all of the blinds down. Hitchcock has passed out on the couch in Holt's office, and Holt eyes him with contempt.
"Sergeant Jeffords."
"Captain Holt."
"We play to win," Captain Holt dictates.
"I agree, sir," Terry says. "Also, I can't afford to lose my badge. I need that thing."
"Ah, yes. It may be tossed around from team to team if we do not get to it first. Which is why we are going to get to it first. Do you have a plan, Sergeant?" Holt asks, looking at Terry in the eye.
"Uh, no? Terry hasn't had much time― or sleep― to think of a plan," Terry says with uncertainty.
"I thought so. Which is why I have been planning this heist since the second heist that ever took place in this precinct. I've been planning next year's heist for even longer, but right now we must focus on today." Captain Holt grabs a binder from the shelf behind him and flips it open. "I have everything in this binder right here," he says.
"Sir," Terry says, looking down at the binder. Captain Holt follows his gaze down to the binder. It is empty, except for a button. The button is black and purple with white letters on it. It says, TEAM SANTIAGO 2K18 on it in bold letters.
"Santiago," Captain Holt hisses. "She's played me as well as Joanna Newsom plays the harp."
Terry looks at Captain Holt in confusion. "Um, anyways, what do we do now?"
"We may not have any intel on Santiago's team, but we sure do have some good stuff on Peralta," Captain Holt says.
"Uh, sir, they're both called Peralta's," Terry says. "They got married, remember?"
"Yes, yes, but how will you know who I am referring to when I say Peralta?" Captain Holt reasons.
"Good point."
12:22 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in Bullpen
Two minutes later, Jake wheels his chair over to Charles's desk. "Dude. We have to win this," Jake says.
"And I agree with you totally, Jakey!" Charles says, munching on a strange looking snack that Jake would rather not ask about. "Anyways, Jake, I've been planning this for a month now. I've actually been planning out all of my future Halloween costumes since I was ten years old―"  
"Buddy, buddy. I've been planning this heist for like the last two years. And let me tell you, I've got some very good stuff," Jake begins. Charles looks on eagerly as Jake leans in closer. "So, what I know, is that Amy's team knows what Holt's going to be up to. Holt's going to find out that Amy knows, and he's going to proceed to do exactly what he thinks Amy thinks he's not going to do. You following along?"
"Yup," Charles says. "Would you like an oyster leg?"
"Gah, no! Anyways, the thing is, that Amy knows that he's going to do that. She knows Captain Holt very well. Maybe even better than Kevin. Augh, no, scratch that, she probably doesn't know Holt better than Kevin. Which brings us to our next step―"
12:30 AM, October 31, Babylon, Object of Heist in Bullpen
Gina sniffs a rose-scented candle and then lights it with a pocket lighter that she apparently keeps on the windowsill of the secret bathroom.
"Rose-scented candles?" Amy asks in disbelief, looking at Rosa. Rosa shrugs, inhaling the air.
"It was Gina's idea."
"Because they remind me of Diaz," Gina says, standing up. "Anyways, what's the plan here? Rosa and I were thinking that we would just take the badge, run, get onto her bike, and ride to Kansas," Gina pitches.
"Gina, that's against the rules," Amy says. “Besides, I've been working on this forever. I know what's going to happen. It's actually pretty simple, you see."
"Then do tell, Amy," Rosa says. "What's going to happen?"
"Well, you know how I'm always talking about binders?" Amy asks, twirling a lock of hair around her fingers.
Rosa snorts. "You're always talking about binders."
Amy pulls out a thick maroon binder from behind her. Rosa's jaw drops open.
"Where the hell did that come from? I know you're obsessed with binders, but you literally did not have one like two seconds ago. Where do you keep them?"
"In your bra," Gina snorts. She is still turned away from Rosa and Amy.
"I stole it," Amy says breathlessly. Gina turns around and gapes at her.
"You, Amy Boring Pantsuits Santiago-Peralta, stole something? This is something new. Oh my gosh, this is going to make headlines!" Gina trills.
"It's not like I stole it from a stationary store or anything," Amy snaps. "It's Holt's. Since I've always talked about binders, he's started to organize stuff like me. In binders. And I just happen to know that he's been working on this one for a very long time, and it's all about this year's Halloween Heist."
"That's even better! Holt is like your idol, and you stole from him! Oh, this is some scalding-hot tea!" Gina cackles, dropping the small lighter back onto the windowsill.
Rosa stares at the binder."Oh, my god, Santiago, you have outdone yourself."
"But, like, won't Holt notice that it's missing?" Gina asks.
"Well, not at first he won't. I've bought a replica binder and put it in this binder's spot. Remember the button maker that you got me one time, Rosa? I made some kick-ass buttons from it." Amy pulls out a bunch of pins from her pockets. They're black, which white letters outlined in purple.
"Team Santiago 2k18. Nice," Rosa comments, taking one.
"Why isn't it like, Team Linetti 2k Gay Teen?" Gina asks. Amy shrugs, and hands one to Gina, who pins it onto her hip. Rosa puts hers on her left arm, and Amy pins hers to her collar. Amy puts her hand out, and Rosa and Gina stack their hands on top.
"Team Santiago 2k―"
"Gay Teen!" Gina cuts in, and Rosa laughs. "Let's do this, team. Actually, what's next?" Gina asks, with a surprising amount of interest, at least, for Gina Linetti.
"I put a button in Holt's binder, so he'll know it's me. And basically, he'll know that I've got his binder and his plan, so what he's going to do is obviously the opposite of what he's got planned. But I know that, and I am so prepared for that." Amy puts a hand on her own button, wearing the proudest Santiago smile that she's ever worn. "You have out done yourself, Amy," she says to herself.
12:45 AM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist in Bullpen
"So, Jeffords, we must have to do something irrational. Something that Santiago would never expect. She is the real enemy right now," Captain Holt says.
"What about Jake and Charles?" Terry asks. Holt waves his hand.
"We'll see. I'm sure Peralta has got something up his sleeve. More specifically, he's going to use a fire extinguisher to distract us and get the badge. Except, he won't be able to if we get it first," Captain Holt says.
"How didya know that?" Terry asks in astonishment.
"It has taken me only five and a half months to plant the idea in his head, but it is there all right, Sergeant. So the next thing that we are going to do is get this badge."
"I like this plan," Terry says. "So, how are we gonna grab my badge? Distraction?"
"No. I grab it. I run. You, Sergeant, carry me, and we're going to hide it where it's safe."
"It's like one in the morning. Captain, are you thinking this through?" Terry asks.
"Of course not! Thinking it through is what Santiago wants! We can't give her what she wants. Not again, " Captain Holt says.
"Aaand, title of your sex tape!" Jake's voice echoes through the room.
"Peralta? Where are you? Are you in my ceiling?" Captain Holt says warily.
"Nope! I'm in the bullpen!" Jake's voice calls. Terry gestures to Captain Holt's laptop. Holt suddenly realizes what is going on.
"Peralta, you sick son of a bitch," he mutters, and picks of his laptop, throwing it against the opposite wall as hard as as he can. It smashes and clutters onto the floor in a jumble of pieces. "Take that, son."
1:00 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist is…  I Don't Even Know
"Now, Charles!" Jake calls. Charles presses the button on some sort of remote, and suddenly, many, many fire extinguishers all go off at once, concealing the badge from sight. Jake dashes off towards it.
"Not on my watch, Peralta!" Captain Holt roars, and leaps at Jake. Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen leaps to their feet in surprise.
"Rosa! Rosa, go! " Amy says, shoving Rosa into the confusion. Rosa runs towards Jake, effectively tackling him to the floor. Captain Holt swivels into both of them, and the three crash onto the floor.
"Aw, no, Rosa! You have most definitely ruined my plan! What am I going to do now?" Jake says haughtily, wiping fire extinguisher gunk from his face.
"Peralta, you monster. Where's Boyle?" Rosa shouts, and Amy spot him quickly slipping inside of the elevator. "Stairs, Santiago, take the stairs! " Rosa screams. Amy comes to her senses and turns quickly, running down the stairs as quickly as she can.
Rosa looks down to see Jake grinning underneath her. He pushes her off and stands up, wiping his jeans off. Rosa groans.
"This was my good leather jacket. You're gonna pay for this, Jake," Rosa says.
"No, I'm not. I'm gonna win. You guys aren't!" Jake says cheerfully.
Rosa rolls her eyes. "No, I mean that you're actually gonna pay for a visit to the dry-cleaner's," Rosa says, punching him in the arm.
"Oh. Okay, then."
"Move," Rosa says, pushing him away. She stands up and runs to the stairs, catching a glimpse of Terry bounding down the stairs. "Terry!" Rosa screams, and jumps. A split second later, she lands on his back, and Terry shouts.
"Diaz! I am your superior officer! You can't just―"
"Detective Diaz, I am your superior officer. Bone. I've heard it all, Jeffords," Rosa says monotonously.  What are you and Holt planning!" Rosa holds onto Terry's shoulders as he vigorously tries to shake her off.
"Nothin'! We're not planning anything. What are you planning, Diaz?"
"I'm here!" A voice calls out. Gina Linetti appears in front of them, and points to Amy, who has tackled Charles to the ground and is valiantly trying to grab the badge.
"Where did Gina come from?" Terry mutters.
"Magic," Gina whispers. They all snap their attention back to Amy, who has let out a shout.
She manages to pry the badge out of Charles's sweaty fingers. Amy struggles to her feet and barely has a split second to start on her victory dance, before Charles tries pulling Amy back down and onto the floor.
"Rosa!" Amy screams, preparing to launch the badge in the air. Rosa leaps to catch it as soon as it leaves Amy's hands, but the badge swivels in the other direction and towards Gina. Gina fumbles with it for a moment before grasping onto it tightly.
"Snake eyes! Terry hates snake eyes!" Terry says furiously.
"Run, Gina!" Rosa calls, and Gina sprints with the badge and to her car. It won't unlock, and both Charles and Terry are gaining on her. Rosa's motorcycle is parked right next to Gina's car, so Gina mounts it as soon as Rosa tosses her the keys with a meaningful look.
"Gina, no! You don't know how to―" Terry calls.
"How hard can it be?" Gina calls glamorously,  and the motorcycle whizzes to life. Surprisingly well, Gina rides the bike out of the garage and out into the streets. She disappears from view a moment later, and Charles crumples to the ground, wheezing.
Rosa is still covered in fire extinguisher substance, so she gladly accepts the napkin that Amy offers to her. "How did Gina do that?" Amy asks in astonishment.
"I gave her a few lessons about how to ride a motorcycle," Rosa says. "Also, I know where she'll be, because I have a tracker on my bike. Holt only said no trackers on people, object of heist, blah blah blah," Rosa say, watching Charles and Terry aggressively argue with each other.
"Come on. Let's go," Amy says, and they trudge towards the elevator.
2:00 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in the Possession of Gina Linetti
"Okay, where the hell could Gina be?" both Terry and Jake mutter at their desks at the same time. Charles shrugs from Jake's side of the bullpen. He is currently wearing a costume, and no one can tell who he is.
"Okay, Charles. I give up. Who or what the hell are you?" Jake asks.
"Alain Ducasse! You know, famous French chef? He's so cool. Once, Genevieve went to his restaurant in Paris, and she said it was awesome. I'm dying to go," Charles explains.
"Well, what about Gina getting away, huh?" Jake says moodily.
"I didn't even knew that she could ride! That was so cool!"
Jake, Rosa, and Captain Holt have all changed into fresh clothes, and the Captain sits with Terry at Terry's desk. They discuss further plans of what to do, and Amy and Rosa sit atop of Rosa's desk. Rosa looks at her phone, and tilts the screen towards Amy.
"She's at your place?" Amy whispers.
"Ssshh!" Rosa hisses.
"Sorry."
"Let's get out of here," Rosa says. Amy and Rosa both slyly creep out of the bullpen and down the stairs. They take Amy's car, since Rosa's bike has gone with Gina, and head over to Rosa's place.
2:20 AM, October 31, Rosa's Apartment, Object of Heist in the Possession of Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen
Gina is there, curled up in Rosa's bed. She is fast asleep, and she clutches Terry's badge to her chest as she sleeps. Rosa creeps over to her quietly, careful not to wake her. She pries the badge from Gina's sleeping fingers, and takes it to her secret safe once she is sure that Amy isn't watching her.
After the badge is safe and secure, Rosa pulls open her closet and tosses a t-shirt to Amy. "Come on. Get out of that, and get some damn sleep. We're all tired."
Amy complies and changes into the pajamas that Rosa has supplied for her. Rosa changes into some more comfortable clothes herself, and is about to flop onto her bed next to Gina, before sitting up.
"Wait," Rosa says, and Amy turns. "We should take turns sleeping. Just in case," Rosa says. "You sleep first."
Amy nods, and heads out of Rosa's room and to her couch. Rosa follows her, sitting down at the kitchen table and pulling out her phone to kill some time. She stares at her pure black lockscreen for a little bit, before drifting off into a mindless sleep.
Rosa isn't exactly a heavy sleeper. But right now, she isn't exactly a light sleeper either, because she's only gotten two hours of sleep before the heist had started, and she's extremely tired. So currently in Rosa's apartment, there isn't a single awake and alert soul.
3:30 AM, October 31, Outside Of Rosa's Apartment, Object of Heist in the Possession of Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen
Captain Holt and Terry tiptoe up the fire escape and pause at Rosa's apartment.
"Sir," Terry says in a hushed whisper, "how are we going to get in?"
Captain Holt pulls a small box out of his jacket. "Jeffords, I have broken into Santiago and Peralta's apartment before, and it was a piece of cake. I have got this."
"But Captain, this is Rosa. Not even the worst of all criminals can get into Rosa's apartment," Terry says nervously, eyeing the dim light pouring out of one of Rosa's apartment windows.
"The best of detectives can, though. Let me tell you something, Jeffords," Captain Holt says, beginning to work on the door. "Every single Family Game Night that we have had here? I have been studying every corner of Diaz's apartment, and I have every square centimeter mapped out. We are going to win this heist," Captain Holt says. Terry stares at him astonishment, and then looks to the door as a small popping noise occurs.
"Damn, Captain!" Terry says in disbelief. Captain Holt shushes him as he quietly creeps into the apartment, with Terry at his heels. They tiptoe past sleeping Rosa. She stirs for a moment, and both Terry and Holt stop in their tracks. Rosa resumes into her deep slumber, and Captain Holt continues.
They walk past Amy, who doesn't move from her unconscious state. Terry has his phone out to snap a few pictures, and Holt doesn't comment as Terry gleefully captures photographs of the two women. Holt leads Terry to a room down the hallway, and quietly opens the door.
"Gina's on the bed," Terry whispers. Captain Holt doesn't answer, and kneels down to lift up the fur rug that is laid down on the floor. Captain Holt pries a loose floorboard up, revealing a safe. He works on it for a few seconds, until it opens, and he lifts up Terry's badge in victory. It's all that Terry can do to not squeal loudly at their clear win. Captain Holt hands Terry the badge, and Terry stuffs it in his jacket pocket.
Holt pulls another small object out of his pocket and sets it down in the safe. "Two can play at that game," he mutters, and Terry bends down to get a closer look at the object. It is a button, but in white with navy blue letters that say HOLT WINS 2018.
"Nice," Terry says appreciatively, and Captain Holt closes the safe. They creep out of the apartment in the same spirit, making sure to close the back door as they leave victoriously.
5:00 AM, October 31, Rosa's Apartment, Object of Heist in the Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018
Rosa wakes up with a start at the table and curses loudly, waking Amy up. Amy's head snaps up and she fumbles for her watch. "It's five o'clock," Rosa tells her. "Damn it, I fell asleep! We have to make sure that Terry's badge is still there," Rosa says, and stands up. Amy wearily follows her into the room where Gina is still asleep. Rosa bends down to open her safe, and curses loudly as soon as she does so.
"What?" Amy asks, walking over. Rosa hands her the button, and Amy's eyes widen. "How dare- I hate- I'm gonna―" Amy stutters, dropping the button. "How did they get in?"
"I don't know," Rosa says gravely. "But how did they crack my safe?"
Amy goes to shake Gina awake. "You can have an autograph later," Gina mumbles sleepily, turning over. Rosa gently pushes Amy away and sits down at Gina's side.
"Gina, wake up. The badge is gone, do you hear me?" Rosa says roughly.
All of a sudden, Gina's eyes flutter open and she dramatically sits up. "Noo! My baby! But we were going to win, Rosie! Who did it? I will have revenge," Gina seethes. Rosa soothingly puts a hand on Gina's shoulder.
"It was Holt. Holt did it," Amy says.
"I knew it! I always knew that son of a bitch had it in for me," Gina scoffs.
"We're heading back to the precinct. Gina, you're with my on my bike," Rosa orders, and the team scrambles to their vehicles.
5:20 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018
"Okay. Where's Holt," Rosa says loudly, rudely waking up Jake and Charles, who have been asleep at their desks for a while.
"Why you looking for Holt?" Jake slurs sleepily. "Don't you have the― urgh― badge?"
Rosa spots a flash of movement in Captain Holt's office. The blinds are down, and she marches over to the office with Amy and Gina at her heels. Rosa vigorously tries the doorknob, but it is locked. In a fit of anger, Rosa lifts her leg and kicks, effectively breaking the knob off.
Amy watches this unfold in blatant shock. "Oh my god, Rosa, you just―"
Rosa ignored her and pushes her way into the office. She looks around wildly, before spotting a man sitting on the couch. "You," Rosa says menacingly, "what did Holt hire you for?"
"Uh, me? I- who's Holt? The police Captain told me to wait here. I'm filing a report," the man stutters.
Rosa snorts. "Yeah, right. What happened? Someone TP your house?" she says sarcastically.
"There were eggs too," the man mutters quietly, as Captain Holt appears in his office.
"Detective Diaz! May I ask why part of the door to my office is broken?" Holt says loudly. Rosa spins around, and Amy coughs quietly.
Rosa holds up the button that Holt left at her apartment. "May I ask why this was in my personal safe? How the hell did you even break into my safe? I need answers, and I need them now, " Rosa says harshly.
Captain Holt snorts. "Diaz, your apartment is extremely easy to break into. Perhaps not easier than Peralta and Santiago's apartment, but still, easy. Furthermore, you should be more creative with your passwords. Your safe's password is 'Gina.' I was able to guess it on the first attempt," Captain Holt tells her.
At this point, all three women are staring at Holt with their jaws dropped.
"Your password is me? Aw, Rosa, that's so cute," Gina cooes.
"Shut up. I'm changing it," Rosa mutters.
"When did you break into my apartment? And why was it easy?" Amy splutters.
The corner of Captain Holt's mouth turns up. "Not only was it easy, it extremely easy, Amy. Courtesy of the Dad key that Jake gifted to me last Christmas," Captain Holt says, smiling wickedly.
Amy gasps. " No! You misuse the Dad key!"
"There were no rules that came with they key, Santiago-Peralta. I can do whatever that I would like with it," Captain Holt grins. The amount of time that Captain Holt is holding the smile on his face is really starting to become disturbing.
"As soon as this is over, I'm writing you a list of rules!" Amy promises. Captain Holt merely smirks.
"Where's the badge, Captain?" Rosa demands.
"I cannot tell you that," Captain Holt says, walking to his desk. "Dismissed."
Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen grudgingly walks out of Holt's office. The man sitting on Holt's sofa frowns. "What about me?" he asks in confusion.
Holt nearly rolls his eyes at the man. "You too. Get lost, Jim," Holt says.
"My name is John," the man mutters in offense. He stands up and starts to leave Captain Holt's office.
"Close the door behind you," Captain Holt instructs. John does his best to close the broken door. It swings back open.
5:35 AM, October 31, Babylon, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018
"Okay, so here's the plan," Amy says. "I know that Jake knows where Holt's keeping the badge, but I don't know where the badge actually is. But Jake's going to get it, and I know where Jake's gonna put it," Amy claims.
"And then we take it from them," Rosa grins.
"I like this plan," Gina murmurs absentmindedly. Her hands are weaving through Rosa's hair, and Amy can't tell it she's braiding Rosa's hair or merely playing with it.
"So when will Jake and Charles go for it?" Rosa asks. Amy shrugs.
"Hold on, let me text him," Amy says, pulling out her phone.
Rosa frowns. "How is that―"
"I'd give it two hours," Amy says. "They're still mastering their plan."
"Did he text you that?" Rosa snorts.
"No. I asked him how he was doing. He replied 'fine.' I'm married to Jake. I can read his even through a five letter text, Rosa," Amy says. Gina smiles approvingly.
7:45 AM, October 31, Outside of Captain Holt's House, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018
Charles shivers. "It's getting cold, Jake," he says, wrapping his jacket around himself tighter.
"Okay, Charles, you know what you're gonna do, right?" Jake asks quickly.
"Yeah," Charles says.
"Okay, then. Go now, dude. Don't fail me!" Jake calls as Charles darts around to the side of the house. Jake stuffs his hands in his pockets after he rings the doorbell. He waits for a few minutes until Kevin answers the door.
Kevin has hastily pulled a sweater over his pajamas, and he greets Jake at the door. "Peralta," Kevin says, and nods.
"Kevin! We made a deal last week, right?" Jake says.
"Ah, yes. I do recall you saying that you would join my literature class for four months. You also promised me a boxed set of 1800s French poetry," Kevin says. Jake nods.
"Yes, yes, absolutely. I will do all of that. But you, my man, have to keep up your end of the deal too," Jake says, locking eyes with Kevin. Kevin sighs.
"All right, then, Peralta. As long as this keeps Raymond's work life away from us," he says. Kevin pulls out a shining badge and hands it to Jake.
"Oooh! Shiny!" Jake chirps, running his fingers over the smooth badge that he recognizes to be a decoy that Holt had definitely made.
"I polished it," Kevin says. He moves to close the door, but Jake sticks his foot through the crack. Kevin stares at Jake in confusion, pulling the door back open. "What? Our deal has been made, Jake."
"Uh―" Jake quickly thinks of something to say to stall Kevin. "What kind of polish did you use, Kev?"
"First of all, do not call me that. I used―"
Jake stops listening as soon as he hears a distinct 'meow' that he recognizes as Charles's signal. He pats Kevin on the shoulder and backs out of the doorway. "Good talk! Actually, I've got to now! Charles is probably waiting for me. Thanks again, Kev. Gotta go! Bye!" Jake says, pulling the door close from outside of the house. Charles has returned to the car and is sitting in the passenger's seat. Jake gets out of the car and pulls out the car keys.
"Did you get it?" Jake questions with excitement. Charles holds up the real badge in triumph and squeals.
"We did it, Jake! I put in the fake badge! We won! Team Cool Boys Jake and Charles for the win!"
"Actually, we still have like over twelve hours until the heist is officially over. Just gotta keep this baby safe until then," Jake says, opening the glove compartment of his car. He slides the badge in. "Also, cool team name, but only if we can spell 'boys' with a z instead of an s."
"Yes! Yes, absolutely! That is so cool," Charles says ecstatically.
"Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles it is!" Jake announces, and the pair heads back to the precinct with the badge in their possession
9:45 AM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Captain Holt turns off the phone in satisfaction. "That was my husband," he informs Terry. "A few months ago, Jake made a deal with Kevin, so that Kevin would help him win the heist. Just as I had anticipated, Jake dropped by today for the badge, which I assure you, is still secure in my home. Kevin gave him a decoy badge I had made months ago. Peralta is a fool, thinking my own husband would double-cross me," Captain Holt says.
"Up high, man," Terry says, lifting up his hand for a high-five. Captain Holt stares at him until Terry awkwardly drops his hand back to his side. "What I mean, sir, is that this heist is ours."
"Yes, it is, Sergeant. Yes it is."
10:30 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Amy sidles up to Jake's side. "Hey," she says.
"Is this a trick? Ames, if it's a trick, then I'm not enjoying it. I don't have the badge, okay? And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you," Jake says quickly.
"It's not a trick, Jake," Amy assures him. She leans her head on his shoulder. "It might be Halloween, Jake, but last Sunday was your turn to get the groceries. You forgot." Amy laces her hand with his, tracing her thumb over his palm.
"Damn it! Oh my god, Ames, thank you so much for reminding me. I'll just go and do that right now!" Jake says, kissing Amy on the forehead and bounding towards the elevator. Once he gets down to his car, however, it won't start. Jake notices that the gas tank is empty, and curses loudly. He gets out of the car and locks it, pocketing the keys.
Jake heads back up to the bullpen. "Hey, Ames, I also forgot to fill up my gas tank, so can I take your car?" he asks, keeping a firm fist around his keys.
Amy gives him her car keys and watches as he heads back down to the garage. "Good work, Rosa," she says once Jake is gone. Rosa nods.
"It was easy. He wasn't even suspicious. He thought that not having a full gas tank was because he didn't fill it, not because I drained it," Rosa says. Her clothes smell faintly of gasoline.
"Yeah, maybe you should change so he doesn't actually figure it out. Did Gina get Charles out?" Amy asks.
"Yup." Rosa doesn't give any further details, and Amy doesn't push her for any.
"Great." Amy pulls out her phone. "Judy, come on out. Meet us in the garage."
Two hours earlier
Amy speaks into the phone. "Hello, Doug Judy?"
A familiar voice spills out of the other end. "This ain't Doug Judy. He's on a business trip to Santa Maria. Making big loads of cash and selling pop-hit cds. What you want?"
"It's Amy," Amy says, slightly annoyed at Doug Judy's antics.
"Oh, Amy! I can't believe you didn't invite me to your wedding, mija! I could've totally beatboxed!" Doug Judy exclaims.
"Not the time, Judy. You're a pranks kind of dude, right?" Amy says.
"Of course! Don't insult me, Santiago-Peralta. You know, back in Milan, they call me Steve 'Prankster King' Michaels. Of course, that's because I never reveal my real name. You guys know me as Doug―"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I need your help to play a prank on Jake. How fast can you get here?" Amy says.
10:40 AM, October 31, Garage, Object of Heist in Possession of Jake's Car
"Oh, Rosa! You never told me that Rosa was going to be here! Sweet Rosa Rosa Rosa! Are you single yet?" Doug Judy sings, puckering his lips up at Rosa.
Gina darkly scowls at him. Doug Judy throws his hands up.
"Okay, okay, okay! I get it. Not single. Yet," Judy says, winking at Rosa. Rosa imitates Gina's scowl. "Anyways, what have we got here? You want me to break into his car? Cool. But what do I get in return, oh Amy?" Doug Judy asks.
Rosa causally pull a knife out of her boot, twirling it in her fingers.
"Never mind!" Doug Judy says quickly. "I will do it for free because we are pranking Peralta." He sets to work with his toolkit, working at unlocking Jake's car. "This is the easiest car that I've ever had to break into! How many seconds was that?" he asks after the car is open.
"Eight seconds," Gina calls.
Doug Judy frowns. "Not impressive," he mutters. "I gotta work on that."
Amy pushes him out of the way, clambering into the car. She confusedly pulls out two badges from his glove compartment, and holds them both up to Rosa. "One's definitely a decoy, but which one?" Amy mutters to herself, running her hand over both badges.
"That one," Rosa says, pointing to the more dull one. "Sarge polishes his badge three times a year, and the last time he did it was a couple of months ago. The other badge is way more recently polished."
"Oh, you're so smart, Rosa Diaz, will you marry me?" Doug Judy sings in a high pitched tone. Rosa glares at him, knife still in hand, and he raises an eyebrow and shrugs. "It was worth a shot, my love."
"Hey," Gina says menacingly. "Only I get to call her that."
"Whatever, Linetti. I'm hotter than you are," Doug Judy mutters. Gina gasps.
"Oh, you didn't―"
"Stop!" Amy says sternly. "We have the real badge now, so that's that. Let's go, Team Santiago," Amy says slipping the badge into her purse.
"All right! I'm on team Santiago!" Doug Judy says cheerfully.
"Damn it, Judy, you have to lay low. You can come back for the party at the bar, but right now, you gotta lay low so that Peralta doesn't suspect anything. Also, lock his car," Rosa says firmly.
Judy blows her a kiss. "For you, my lady, anything. No, seriously, anything you want at all. I mean it. Anything, Rosa. Anything for you."
Rosa rolls her eyes with disgust. "Whatever. Let's go, Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen," she says, leading Amy and Gina towards the elevator.
"Bye!" Doug Judy calls, and scurries the other way.
1:00 PM, October 31, Outside of the Precinct, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen
"Doug! Doug Judy!" Jake calls quietly. He is standing in an alleyway at the side of the precinct with Charles. Charles scowls distastefully.
"You invited that moron here? Jake, you know that I don't like him that much! He's a moron!" Charles scowls.
"Chill, Boyle, you haven't even met him before," Jake says.
Charles kicks at a stray pebble. "And that's how you really know that you hate someone. If you hate them even before you've met them. And I hate Doug Judy. That bastard," Charles rants.
"Peralta! Hey, man!" A new voice shouts. Jake and Charles both whip around to see Doug Judy walking towards them. "It's chilly today, ain't it? Can you guess what my costume is, Jake? I'm one of T-Swift's body guards!" Doug Judy exclaims.
Jake's jaw drops open. "Oh my gosh, you look just like the one who kicked me out of that concert! That's awesome, Doug!" Jake says, rushing closer to Doug Judy.
"Didn't know that we were on a first name basis here," Charles mutters, trailing along.
"Did you do what I asked?" Jake says, pulling Doug into a hug. Doug slaps him on the back and Jake jumps.
"Of course I did, man. She got into your car, opened the glove compartment, took one of the badges, and put it into her purse," Doug Judy says.
"Which one did she take?" Jake asks in anticipation. Doug shrugs.
"I think the one that was less shiny."
Jake pumps his fist into the air. "Yes! We did it! Did you hear that, Doug Judy? We did it! We're going to win this hest big time!" Jake jumps into the air, moving his arms and legs around. "Sorry, Amy kinda has that effect on me. Her victory dance is rubbing off on me," Jake says giddily.
"What did you do?" Charles asks eagerly. "I mean, you told me to just trust you, and I do, one hundred percent, but I'm just itching to know what you did," Charles says, sending a mean glare at Doug Judy.
"Well, I dusted up the decoy badge that Kev gave me, and I polished the real badge! And obviously, I know that Rosa knows the Sarge's polishing routine, so she would know that the badge hasn't been polished in a while. So Amy took the dull badge, which is actually the fake badge! I'm a freaking genius!" Jake tells them triumphantly. "Thanks again, Doug."
Doug Judy waves it away. "Oh, anything for my main man," he smiles. "So, tell me, dude, how did Amy even know to call me?"
Jake laughs. "Oh, I started talking about how much I missed you―"
Charles snorts loudly.
"And how we loved to play pranks on each other a few months ago. So you know, she got that all planted in her head during movie night, so then she called you, bro. I planned all of it. It was awesome. I am a genius," Jake declares.
" We love playing pranks on each other, too! Jake! I love playing pranks on you! It's so much fun!" Charles says desperately, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. Jake continues on talking to Doug Judy.
"We forgot our handshake, dude!" Doug Judy says. They complete a series of what looks like a game of patty-cake, fistbumps, high-fives, jazz hands, and top it off with a turkey. "Turrr-key!" Doug Judy says. "Well, Jake, m'boy, I'll see you later. Bye for now!" Doug Judy turns the other way and sprints off.
"Man, I hate that guy," Charles mumbles under his breath as Jake grins.
"What was that? Let's head back to the bullpen, Charles," Jake smiles, tugging Charles by the arm and towards the building.
"Why is Jake in love with him and not me?" Charles says to himself as Jake, blissfully unaware, punches in a button in the elevator.
3:59 PM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist (Actually) in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
"I have called my husband. He has indeed confirmed that the badge is still in place, and there have been no problems with it," Captain Holt tells Terry. They are both interrupted by a loud crunching noise, and turn around to see Hitchcock sitting on Holt's couch, snacking on a bag of chips.
"Hitchcock, can you go do that somewhere else?" Terry says in annoyance. Hitchcock continues to ignore the pair. Holt sighs and turns back to Terry.
"Anyways, I trust that my husband is taking care of the badge. We have got this win in the bag, Sergeant," Captain Holt says. Terry nods joyfully.
6:37 PM, October 31, Babylon, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Gina quickly walks through the hallways, barely looking up from her cell phone. She looks up once she has reached the secret entrance to Babylon, and quickly enters the secret bathroom. Tema Santiago 2k Gay Teen has taken turns going down to the secret bathroom and checking to see if the badge is safe and secure, and it is currently Gina's turn.
She quickly opens what looks like a ventilation pipe in the side of the wall at one corner of Babylon. The badge is still there, and Gina allows herself to release the dramatic breath that she had been holding in. Gina hurriedly shuts the pipe and heads out of the bathroom to tell the rest of her team that the badge is safe and sound.
9:07 PM, October 31, The Garage, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Jake quickly gets into his car. "Thanks for bringing gas, Charles," he says.
"No problem, Jake! Anything for you!" Charles chirps as Jake starts his car.
"Quick, check to see if the badge is still there," Jake says, and Charles opens the glove compartment. He pulls out the badge and examines it in the dim light.
"Hmmm, it looks a little bit less shinier than before," Charles says suspiciously. "I didn't waste all that time polishing Sarge's badge for my efforts to go to waste, did I?"
"Aah, Amy must've gotten something on it when she took both of the badges out," Jake asserts. "Let's just get to your place and―" Jake's phone buzzes, and he parks at the shoulder of the road to open up the text he has just received. Charles leans over to see.
"What does it say?"
Jake begins to read it out loud. "It's from Captain Holt. It says, 'Attention, squad, we will meet at Shaw's at midnight to declare the winner of this heist. Be there on time. Sincerely, Raymond Holt.' That's weird. It sounds like he thinks he's going to win," Jake remarks. "But he's wrong. Because Team Cool Boys Jake and Charles is gonna win."
Charles squints his eyes. "We better be cautious, though, just in case. Holt might be planning something, you know. That guy is pretty sneaky."
"We'll be fine," Jake says uncertaintly.
9:10 PM, October 31, Outside of the Precinct, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles.
"I have just sent the rest of the squad a text instructing them to meet at Shaws at midnight," Captain Holt says. "And Peralta, as usual, has replied with a string of emojis that are difficult to even look at."
"Maybe you shouldn't have finally gotten emojis on your phone," Terry shrugs. They stand outside of the precinct in the dark, watching costumed people walk up and down the streets. A teenaged boy sits on the curb and takes a swig from a bottle of vodka. Captain Holt sighs.
"Well, Jeffords, duty calls. Young man, you are underaged and therefore should not be consuming alcohol of any type!"
9:30 PM, October 31, The Rooftop, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Rosa, Amy, and Gina stand together on the rooftop, gazing out to the busy street below them. Gina glances up from her phone. "Well, that's weird. Have any of you looked at your texts recently?" she asks.
Rosa and Amy both shake their head no. Rosa leans closer to Gina to catch a glimpse of what's so 'weird' on her phone. Gina lifts up the phone to show both of the detectives the screen.
"I got this text a while ago; didn't bother to actually open it up until now, but Holt wants everyone to come to Shaw's at midnight. As if he's going to win the heist," Gina says.
"As if," Rosa snorts.
"Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen is obviously going to win," Amy quips. "We'll just bring the badge to Shaw's at midnight and show everyone that we won," she shrugs. Rosa squints at Gina's phone screen and scrolls down a little bit.
"Jake replied; 'yeah right like you're gonna win it's obvious that team cool boyz jake and charles are gonna win not u' like he thinks that they're going to win," Rosa says.
"Their team name is l-ame ," Gina mutters.
"So lame," Amy agrees.
"We did leave the fake badge in Jake's car. Maybe they think that they have the real one or something," Rosa suggests.
"Maybe. We should go check on the badge, though," Amy says. "Rosa, it's your turn."
11:30 PM, October 31, Outside of Captain Holt's House, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
"That was really great of Kev― I mean, your husband to help us out with the heist," Terry says. Captain Holt pockets the badge with a satisfied look on his face.
"I have been waiting to win this heist for three years," he says, and the pair head to Terry's car. "We still do have about half an hour before midnight, though. Sergeant Jeffords, please drive slowly, as Shaw's is merely twenty minutes away from my home and we must announce ourselves at exactly midnight," Captain Holt instructs.
Terry looks a little befuddled but shrugs. "I'll do my best," he sighs. "Slow driving is not fun for Terry."
11:43 PM, October 31, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Amy, Rosa, and Gina enter the bar nearly fifteen minutes before midnight. They sit down at an empty table and make no attempts to order anything on account of Amy's rules. Rosa sighs. "Why are we here early, again?" she groans.
"Because we have to be here to announce our victory," Amy says for the fifth time. "If we're here before time, then no one will expect it."
"Um, everyone's going to expect you being here early," Gina says. "You're Amy freaking Santiago-Peralta. Always exactly right on time or early." Gina lifts her hand to flag down a waiter, and Amy slaps it down.
"We're staying sober until we've announced our win, remember?"
Gina rolls her eyes. "Calm down. I'm ordering a water. If I'm not hydrated by the end of each day, then I break out," Gina shudders. She picks her phone up from the table for the ninth time in a single minute, scrolling through something anxiously and then dropping the phone back down. Two seconds later, she picks it back up, and scrolls through again.
The eleventh time, Amy snatches Gina's phone away. "That is messing with my head. Stop doing it," she says, putting Gina's phone in the middle of the table.
"Hey!" Gina complains, but doesn't move to grab the phone again. Rosa leans over and rests her head on Gina's shoulder, stifling a yawn.
"I've been up since like forever. When will this all be over so that I can get some sleep?" Rosa murmurs, eyes half-closed. "I've literally been through like five different outfits today, and I wanna go home."
"After we win, and everyone says that we're the best human slash geniuses in the world," Amy promises. "Then we can all go home and pass out."
"Good," Gina says, reaching for her phone again. "And Rosa, you're not going home without me."
11:58 PM, October 31, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Captain Holt and Terry come into Shaw's. "Be subtle. Santiago's team is already here. We don't want them to see us, because we want to make a big announcement about the fact that we have won the heist," Captain Holt says.
"There aren't that many people here," Terry frowns.
"Great! I am able to announce my victory loudly then," Captain Holt says. "There are two minutes until midnight. No doubt Boyle and Peralta will arrive at exactly midnight to announce their false victory," Captain Holt snickers. He looks over to where Amy's team is sitting. "Look at them! They have already accepted their defeat!" Captain Holt says, referring to the fact that all three women are not fully awake.
"Yeah, they do look pretty bummed," Terry says. "We've got this."
12:00 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles
Many things happen at once. A loud alarm goes off at Amy's table, waking the three women. Rosa immediately tosses the badge to Amy, who clambers up on the table and holds it up triumphantly."We won! We won!" she says lously, spotting Captain Holt.
Captain Holt has pulled out their badge, holding it up and staring at Amy in confusion. "No, that can't be correct. Terry and I have won!" he protests.
Taylor Swift's voice bursts out loudly near the entrance of the bar. The door is thrown open and Jake parades in wearing an oversized suit with aviator glasses. Charles trails behind him, carrying a set of speakers. Jake jumps up into the air.
"I know all of you have been waiting for us, and I know that you all know that you have lost…" Jake says loudly.  He quickly thrusts the real badge up into the air. "Guess what, losers! I am the most amazing human slash genius that there is! Take that, wife! Take that, Captain! Boyle and I win!" he laughs.
Charles looks up at Amy and Captain Holt, both confused and holding up their own badges. "Haha!" he laughs. "We got you guys so good. Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles forever!"
Terry grabs at the badge that Captain Holt is holding in terror. He turns it over in his large hands, and then sighs in defeat. "This ain't mine, Captain. They're right. This isn't my badge. I know my badge like I know the palm of my own hand," Terry says.
Captain Holt gapes. "How can that be? We kept the badge safe! We followed a plan!"
Terry walks over to Amy, and snatches the badge out of her hands. He runs his fingers over it and shakes his head. "This isn't mine either," he says. Rosa looks angry, and she scowls. Amy gets off of the table.
"Jake, you―" she starts angrily.
"Won! I won, thank you so much, my dear wife. I love you too," Jake says. "Now say it with me, everyone, Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle are the best―"
Terry has walked over and yanked the badge out of Jake's hands to confirm if the win is really Jake and Charles's. He puts it in his palm skeptically, and frowns. "This is not my badge, either! What the hell did you all do with my badge?!" he says angrily, much to everyone's astonishment.
Jake's jaw drops open. "What do you mean? That's your badge. Charles and I won the heist, and that's your badge. You're probably not thinking right. That's definitely your badge, Sarge," he babbles. "Are you drunk?"
"I know what I said, Jake!" Terry thunders. "That's not my badge!"
"How can that be? Where's the real badge, then?" Amy questions.
"You all better find my badge, or else I will make sure that all of you will never ever enjoy another day at work in your entire lives," Terry threatens. "Man, this might be worse than my favorite mango yogurt getting cancelled!"
Suddenly, winning the Halloween heist doesn't seem very important to anyone.
"Sarge, we'll find your badge," Amy promises. "We just have to retrace all of our steps. I'm sure it'll turn up. I mean, how far could it have gone?" she reasons.
"Damn it, you better be right, Santiago," Terry says menacingly. Amy seems to cower a little bit, until they are all interrupted by the sound of an acoustic guitar filling up the bar.
Jake frowns. "Those are some groovy tunes, but where are they coming from?" he wonders.
12:06 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist Lost
Mlep(clay)nos enters the bar, guitar slung over one shoulder. He nods his head towards the squad. "Good evening," he says rather stiffly, strumming out a tune.
"Mlepnos?" Jake asks. Mlep(clay)nos keeps a poker face on as he turns to face Jake.
"No. I do not know of whom you speak of," Mlep(clay)nos says quietly. "That is not my name."
Amy stumbles to Jake's side. "Oh, I know you! You're Mlepnos! You played music at Jake and my wedding!" she exclaims.
"No. That was not me," Mlep(clay)nos says again. "My name is not Muh-lep-nose," he sounds out. Mlep(clay)nos  changes up the chords on his guitar and concentrates on the tune that he is currently playing. The entire squad watched Mlep(clay)nos play until the music is interrupted rudely by the sound of someone beatboxing along to the guitar music.
Jake's eyes widen. "Doug Judy! What are you doing here?" he asks. "You told me that you had to back to Greenland! Oh my god, did you lie to me? How could you?" Jake says overdramatically.
"I'm here for your celebration, of course! I helped you win, my dude!" Doug Judy says, clapping Jake on the back. Jake slightly winces, before sighing.
"He didn't win," Terry says, before Jake can say anything.
Doug Judy's brow furrows. "Then who did?"
Terry's shoulders slump. "No one did. The badge is missing," he says. Doug Judy's eyes seem to brighten a little bit. He chuckles loudly, much to everyone's surprise.
12:10 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist Very Close to Being Found
"SIKE!" Doug Judy rumbles. Amy squints her eyes skeptically at him, and Captain Holt frowns immensely. Jake looks at him in more confusion.
"What do you mean?" Gina says, glaring at Doug Judy. "Also, stop using modern slang. It only looks good when I do it."
"I mean, sike, as in I win," Doug Judy says, grinning from ear to ear.
"No you don't," Charles says, standing up with newfound courage. "You would need to have the real badge to win. Also, you're a loser and no one likes you," he adds stiffly at the end.
"And I have the real badge, little dude," Doug Judy laughs, ruffling Charles's hair. Charles yanks himself away in contempt. Doug Judy pulls out a police badge from inside of his coat, lifting it up for all to see. "See? I win," Doug Judy says triumphantly, drinking in all of the expressions of disbelief on everyone's face. Terry pushes his way to Doug Judy and snatches the badge out of his hand.
"Well, Sarge?" Jake asks.
Terry frowns. "It's mine," he mutters. "This badge is mine. But how did you come to acquire it!"
Doug Judy shrugs. "It was so easy, like, Amy thinks I'm working for her, and Jake thinks that I'm working for him, but like, I'm working for myself ! L-M-A-O, losers! I am Doug Judy, and I'm gonna rule the world with my hot future girlfriend Rosa!" Doug Judy exclaims joyfully. Rosa scowls darkly.
Jake slaps himself across the cheek. "I am so stupid," he groans. Nearby, Amy lift her palm to her forehead.
"I am an idiot!" she mutters. Doug Judy looks from Jake to Amy.
"Nice. Now I can see why you two are married You're both so alike!" Doug Judy says, causing everyone to stare at him in disbelief. "Hey, say, Diaz! You wanna get married? We could be grossly cute like these two dorks!" Doug Judy says, nearly dropping onto one knee.
"Go to hell, Judy," Rosa mutters. "I don't do cute."
"Except with me," Gina purrs, tucking an arm around Rosa's waist. Rosa seems to melt into Gina's grip before coughing and standing up straight.
"Well, I know that you guys have a traditional saying whenever someone wins your heists! Now, let me hear you all say it: Doug Judy is the best―" Doug Judy starts, looking pointedly at the Nine-Nine.
The entire squad scowls, but complies, muttering under their breaths. "Doug Judy is the best human slash genius," they whisper. It is barely possible to hear them.
Doug Judy puts one hand up to his ear. "I can't hear you! You especially, Diaz! Speak up, and let's try again," he says, smiling wickedly.
"Doug Judy is the best human slash genius," the squad says, a little bit louder this time.
"Still not hearing you, Diaz!"
"Doug Judy is the best human slash genius!" Rosa yells at him, immensely annoyed.
Judy throws back his head and laughs. "Love you too, Diaz! Anyways, let's party! Drinks are not on me!"
12:42 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Winner of Heist Declared as Doug Judy, (SURPRISE! i'm sorry i have the worst plot twists. you could see that coming from a mile away), Badge is Now Safely In Terry's Possession
Half an hour later, everyone from the Nine-Nine is very drunk. Doug Judy and Jake stand in one corner, singing karaoke and dancing. Rosa and Gina are aggressively making out in one corner, and Amy is stumbling towards Jake. It looks as if Amy is on her fifth-drink, because she seems confident as hell and is about to rock the karaoke stage. Captain Holt watches them, cheering as Amy lifts a mic and opens her mouth to sing.
Terry claps ecstatically along to Mlep(clay)nos's continuing guitar music. "Happy Halloween!" he says loudly, downing a shot.
"Actually, it's November 1st now," the bartender interrupts. "Halloween is over."
Drunk! Terry stares at him. "Shut up, Shaw!"
"That's actually not my n―"
"Happy Halloween!" the Nine-Nine shouts.
21 notes · View notes
kamekamelea · 5 years
Text
can anybody find me somebody to love?
Just a College AU where Gina gets a silly idea, Amy acts on her feelings and Jake is having the best birthday ever.
(This little thing wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Adele @b99peraltiago who got me into the College AU mood, so thank you 💕)
read on ao3
Jake doesn’t know what to expect as Rosa leads him towards Gina’s apartment. All he knows is that there’s supposed to be a birthday “surprise” party. Not the party alone being the surprise rather the arrangement of it.
Rosa’s been quiet on their way there, giving Jake the chance to talk and joke as much as he desired. But as they enter the building at the address 397 Barton Street she finally breaks her silence.
“Before we go in I want you to know it was all Gina’s idea and most of us was against it, but she made us do it anyway. You have now 3 seconds to decide whether you want or not to know what this surprise is.”
Jake doesn’t need to think twice, if it’s a Gina concept it’s better to be prepared for it, so he nods prompting Diaz to continue.
“Gina thinks you’re still not over Sophia and that you need a new bone to forget about all this crap.”
“But that’s ridiculous. We broke up over six months ago.”
“I know this. But Gina’s convinced there’s something holding you back from getting into a new relationship.”
Jake involuntarily pictures wavy long black hair, a challenging look given by the prettiest eyes on earth, a smirk and a binder under an armpit. It’s the strangest thing to think there’s something holding him back.
“Gina made every one of us to bring a girl who hypothetically could become your girlfriend.”
Even though Jake’s a bit revolted by this idea he feels warmth spreading in his chest, knowing Gina cares so much.
“Everyone? You?” Rosa nods. “Terry? Charles?”
“Yup. Boyle’s the only one who loves this idea. And Terry got into a dangerous competition with Gina about finding you the perfect girl.”
“Amy too?” The sudden nervousness that overflows him is rather unwelcome and Jake’s thankful he didn’t stutter.
Rosa hesitates for a moment, giving him a weird look.
“Yeah, but she asked me to bring around two girls in case she didn’t find the time to get someone. She’s apparently very into keeping her position of the head of that stupid club of hers.”
“Math paradoxes enthusiasts or Typing masters?” Jake’s genuinely interested, knowing both of the clubs are very important to his friend and that she wouldn’t give them up without a fight.
“I don’t know. I don’t care.”
Jake smiles sadly. It’s very like Amy not to be willing to participate in such a silly activity. In fact, he also doubts the ethical issues concerning such event but decides to ignore his moral concerns and try enjoying his party. But he can’t fight the feeling of disappointment or hurt even, knowing Amy’s so neutral when it comes to the matters of his heart.
“But she was very opposed to Gina’s idea.” Jake gets a feeling Rosa is trying to tell him something with the way the gaze softens, but he really doesn’t get the hidden meaning behind her words. “She said that if you wanted a girlfriend you’d have one.”
“Well, Amy does know me.” Jake grins widely, Rosa’s words cheering him up a bit.
And it is true except for the tiny little issue of him not being able to find the guts to ask out his best friend for months now.
“Ready for this mess of a party?” Rosa asks, putting her hand on the door knob to Gina’s apartment looking expectantly at her friend.
“Bring it on.”
Two hours after Jake’s arrival he has already gulped down enough beer to participate in this childish “courtship-game” Linetti has prepared for him and talk to both of Rosa’s friends. One of them was Katie, who turned out to be just as private and mysterious as Rosa, if not more. She was scary and crept Jake out. The second girl’s name was Stella and they did not hit it off. She’s a car mechanic and let just say they had some differences regarding Jake’s precious mustang (her saying that this model is way to overrated and not keeping up to her engine standards crossed her out of the list immediately).
Now being even more sceptical of Gina’s idea than before, he squeezes through the tiny crowd that has formed since the party took off to get to Amy and Charles, who stand by the window talking boisterously about something.
“Charles wouldn’t tell me who his mysterious girl is.” She pouts and crosses her arms on her chest, as she gives Jake her complaint about Charles, the moment he joins them.
“Told you, Amy, this is the real surprise at this party. It’s like a cherry on top, you’ll see.”
Boyle’s eyes are sparkling with mirth and his cheeks are red from the excitement and Amy looks like she doesn’t appreciate the mischievous glint in his eye.
“Truth be told I’m more afraid as to what Terry and Gina have prepared for me.”
At the begging of his birthday party Amy has spilled some beans to him about the preparations for this event. Apparently, out of nowhere Gina and Terry got into an argument as to who is a better matchmaker, Linetti claiming she knows all the angles of one’s soul and the secret of love when Jefferson was declaring over and over again that “Terry loves love!”, which was supposed to convince everybody of his skills in this field.
And both of them haven’t even arrive at the party yet. And it’s held at Gina’s apartment for God’s sake! It’s only natural for Jake to be worried of what’s to come.
“Blinded by their own rivalry, they won’t even expect it when it hits them who the real king if matchmaking is!” Boyle’s dreamy voice brings Jake out of his reverie.
“Easy Napoleon. It’s not settled I’m gonna leave this party with a girl. Maybe I’m just not interested.”
“Oh, but you will. And with the girl I have for you!”
“Has she even arrived yet, Charles?” Amy’s squinting her eyes at Boyle and Jake notices she’s wearing some make up. She looks very nice tonight and Jake wonders if he’d cross some boundaries telling her so.
Charles doesn’t get to answer Amy’s question because suddenly a big noise at the door catches everyone’s attention. There is a big group of women and a few men barging through the door followed by Terry and Gina shouting insults at each other.
“Wow” is all Amy is able to choke out seeing the scene.
“Yeah wow.” Charles follows wearing a shocked look on his face.
“Do I need to do this? I really don’t want to.” Jake runs his hand down his face in an exasperated manner but then Gina gets to them, grabs him by his collar and pulls him harshly towards the group yelling something about them being flexible foxes and Jake being the one who’ll put an end to “Terrance’s nonsense”.
Amy never gets her answer as Charles follows Jake and Gina in long strides trying to keep up. A heavy sigh leaves Amy, watching her friends leaving. She needs a drink.
So she goes over to the table full of different alcohols and pours herself a solid portion of the liquid to a plastic cup, not really caring she’s not supposed to do that. She flops on the chair next to it and pouts.
(There is a simple reason for Amy’s indignation. Amy Santiago likes rivalry, yes. Everybody knows that. But it doesn’t mean she likes competition. And the most frustrating thing - a competition in a thing nobody knows she’s considering participating in. But she doesn’t like the competition anyway.)
Deep in her thoughts, Amy doesn’t notice Rosa, who comes up to her from behind, startling her.
“Why so blue?”
All Amy does is grunt quietly in a very unladylike way.
From the corner of her eye she sees Rosa looking in the direction Amy’s looking, which is Jake making a polite conversation with one of the girls. Diaz snorts nasally in order to probably mock Santiago.
“Is this about Jake?”
Amy grunts once again, earning herself a defeated sigh from the other Latina. She grabs the other chair and sits on it with it’s back to the front.
“Listen, Santiago. This is the only advice you’re gonna get from me this year. And the advice is… go get him, girl.”
Amy only hopes Rosa buys the false look of surprise she’s trying to master on her face.
“I don’t… I’m not…”
How naive of her.
“Cut the crap. It’s obvious you want him. If you have feelings for Peralta - do something about it, if not - don’t give him false hope. Either way - just make an effort.”
Rosa’s words make Amy think. Think about the beginnings of their friendship, about the last few months she’s spend pining for her best friend, all their banters turning more and more flirty every day and the way they get nervous whenever they have a physical contact (ugh, that greeting hug today was so awkward, Amy winces internally at the single memory of it). And she realizes it shouldn’t continue like this.
Diaz is right. She needs to do something.
“Thanks, Rosa. Why are you being nice to me? Are we best friends now?” Amy smirks, knowing she hit a soft spot of Rosa and can’t help but tease.
“No, you two make me wanna puke, that’s why.” If Amy didn’t know better, she’d probably get scared by the nasty grimace that appeared on Rosa’s face, but now she knows it’s just an act.
“Sure, bestie.”
“Anyway, I’m going to save Jake from this conversation, he doesn’t seem to be interested anyway. Unlike me.”
But Amy doesn’t pay attention any more, buried deep in her thoughts, trying to work out the best way to confess to her best friend.
Oh, if she only had a laptop and two spare hours.
“Hey.”
Jake turns around surprised to hear Amy’s voice up here on the roof.
“Hi.” The smile just pops up his face without him realizing it. “What are you doing up here?”
“Caught you sneaking out. Don’t you enjoy the party?” Amy gasps, mocking an astounding expression.
“Got a bit overwhelmed.” She chuckles and comes near him, eventually standing right in front of him. Jake can feel the hem of her flowery dress tickling his leg in a light touch. He’s sitting on a piece of ledge, so they’re eyes are on the same level. He gets lost in them just a little bit.
“Those people Terry and Gina brought over are definitely something.” Amy gives him an amused smile and his stomach makes a flip. “But I don’t think any of them is right for me. To be honest, I’m not a fan of Gina’s idea.”
“Charles is pretty certain of his choice. He wouldn’t stop bragging about it on our way here.”
“Wait, you came here with Charles?”
“Yeah, I found it weird at first when he showed up at my dorm insisting I come with him…”
Her eyes widen in shock as the realization hits her. Jake’s grin widens even more, he got it the moment Amy said she came to this party with Charles.
“Oh. my. God. I am the girl Charles brought over.”
Amy starts to breathe rapidly, probably trying to calm down her nerves (and maybe the horde of butterflies having a party of their own in her belly at the sight of the softest gaze Jake’s giving her and the most adorable smirk).
Jake looks her deeply in the eye, trying to guess what is on her mind right now and whether she’s freaking out about it for the same reason he is.
It’s been way too long for them to acknowledge their true feelings, hiding behind that “we’re friends and we’re afraid to lose it” cliche and Jake is just tired of it, so he decides to push on the matter.
“So… do you maybe think Charles has been right being so cocky about it?” He drops his gaze to his fingers which are fiddling now nervously, afraid he’s just a second away from being rejected by the only girl that matters.
“He seemed pretty sure about it.” His head shots up just to see her getting closer, so close she stands now between his legs and he feels her scent overflowing his nostrils. He can also feel his insides jumping up and down in anticipation. He may be imagining things, but he’s pretty sure that what he sees in Amy’s eyes right at that moment is determination. “I guess there is just one way to find out.”
He can’t help the smile that’s tugging at the corner of his lips as she puts her hands around his neck, pulling him closer in a bold move, he wouldn’t expect from her. Not that he needed any more of an invitation.
At first the touch is very light, them getting used to the sensation of kissing their best friend. But then Jake moves his lips not being able to hold back any longer, Amy’s fingers grip his hair at the base of his neck and he feels his own palms being drawn to her waist, pulling her even closer.
They’ve been jumping around each other for way too long for this to be an innocent kiss.
He sighs at the slightest touch of her tongue on his upper lip and she takes that as an invitation for her to explore further. With Amy’s body pressed to his, her placed between his legs resting her palms on his thighs and her soft lips moving against his own Jake thinks he’s the happiest man on earth right now.
He has no idea how long have they been melting into each other as they finally part to take a few deep breaths. The sight of Amy being out of breath because of him, with pink cheeks because of him and a bit swollen lips because of him makes him lean into her once again to give her a kiss a bit more chaste than their first one.
She seems a bit surprised by the gesture at first but soon reciprocates it and he places his palm on her cheek. They part again after few seconds but Jake’s hand stays in place caressing her skin with his thumb.
“So, looks like Charles was right after all.” He manages to gasp out, surprised how hoarse his own voice sounds.
She giggles, no longer flustered, more giddy now and he joins her in the laughter. The happiness bubbling in his chest is unstoppable and he’s not about to fight it since it’s only natural for him to feel this way after kissing his dream girl for the first time, after wishing for it to happen for so long.
“Yeah.”
He pulls her into a hug, placing his head into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent. This beats any other birthday he’s ever had.
Eventually he pulls away reluctantly, already with a mischievous idea in mind.
“Wanna mess up with their heads a little?”
The only answer he gets is a smug smirk on her face and nod of her head and it’s the only one he needs.
“Jake, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you all over the place!”
The moment Jake steps back into Gina’s apartment, he hears Charles’ troubled voice. He came down there alone, agreeing he and Amy would come in separately in order for their little prank to work.
“Never mind, the important thing is you’re here. Gina, Terry, Rosa, come closer, so I can finally introduce Jake to girl he’s gonna walk out of this door tonight!”
Charles starts to turn his head around in panic, as if looking for something (or someone rather) and Jake waits just the right amount of time for the rest of his friends to approach to drop the bomb.
“Oh, it’s okay Charles. I already found the right girl for me.”
This may not be the best idea to play with his friend’s feelings like that, Jake muses, seeing the color fading out of Boyle’s face.
“What?…” It barely comes out of Charles’ mouth, as he puts a hand on his chest and tries to even his breathing. “But that’s not how it was supposed-”
“Hey, what’s going on here?” Amy interrupts, sneaking on Jake from behind, but he doesn’t mind, turning to her already with a goofy grin plastered on his face.
“Just me giving Charles a heart attack.” He says, leaning in to give Amy a casual peck on the lips.
It’s just for the act, it’s not like they’re going to put on a show for everybody.
But the simple gesture makes wonders, as Jake hears whistles from a far corner of the room, a loud gasp coming from Gina and Terry, snickering sound from Rosa and a thump.
Jake feels awful for making Boyle faint, but he knows he’ll forgive him.
And he’ll be happy seeing Jake shooting Amy a dopey smile, as he sneaks an arm around her waist and she stands on her toes to give him a kiss.
Jake is so deep in his haze, having his dream girl in his arms, he almost doesn’t pay attention to Gina claiming she won against Terry, explaining to him the credit goes to her, as she was the one to throw Jake this party, or Rosa, who passing him by with a girl, he met earlier, pats him on the shoulder, shooting him a smirk.
Well, it’s an unarguable fact now.
Best. Birthday. Ever.
78 notes · View notes
alexs-ummers · 5 years
Text
too too too fast
Tumblr media
“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?“
Pairing: Jake Peralta x Reader
Words: 1,838
Note: i’ve never written jake before so let me know how i did!! hopefully not too ooc. i’d like to write more of him so send requests if u have any :)
Requests are open!
Jake didn't always think about the consequences of things. He wasn't thinking about what you'd think, what would happen to him; Jake makes a choice and stands by it, whatever it may be. He wasn't always this impulsive, but when so many things were rushing through his head, he couldn't help it.
He was on a case with Boyle, always burying himself in work when something else in his life was wrong. They were tracking down a man who invaded homes, stealing things and hurting people when they got in his way. Jake's head wasn't in it, his thoughts plagued by you for the entirety of the case. Boyle continued pestering him about the sunken look on his face. Jake was always upbeat, full of energy, but everyone could tell something was going on based on the way he tried to bury himself in work. Amy knew something was wrong when Jake was actually focusing on paperwork for once. 
The two of you had gotten in a fight earlier in the week, one so bad that you settled on not seeing Jake for awhile. He wanted to call you, wanted to show up and make amends, but he knew when you needed your space. Jake and you could butt heads every so often, but never like this. Jake always had a certain wall built between the two of you, you were serious, sure, but Jake didn't want you hurt, didn't want to open himself up just to be pushed away. You began to notice it with the little things, when he'd evade serious questions about the future, about his feelings, try to brush over an argument. The bigger things scared him, not that you blamed him, but not every argument could be fixed with a funny quip. 
"I'll go left, you go right." Jake told Charles, nodding his head in the opposite direction. 
Charles trusted Jake's judgement, beginning his journey to the right, gun drawn, eyes scanning for the suspect. 
Jake made his way to the left, barely thinking about the man they were trying to find. Everyone would tell him to take a day off, but he insisted nothing was wrong. 
He's not paying attention when his gun is hit out of his hands, sliding across the cement floor of the abandoned building. The sound startles him, so does the face of the man they've been looking for. Jake attempts to duck out of the way, but a fist collides against his face, anyway. "Ah! What the hell?" He stumbles back, clutching his cheek before he gets his foothold. "Boyle!" He yells, hoping Charles is close enough to hear the encounter. Jake's eyes widen as the suspect closes in on him, trying to assess the situation. He could run, but he doesn't, instead rushing at the man, attempting to knock him down. It doesn't go as planned, the two men wrestle around with each other, the suspect pushing Jake to the ground. The cold cement scrapes against his cheek, a grunt escaping the detective's mouth. He certainly didn't think about that. 
Suddenly the weight is lifted off of him as Charles pulls the man back, the sound of handcuffs fills Jake's ears, but it barely registers due to the pain. He definitely didn't get any punches in that time. He can hear Charles' voice reading the suspect his rights as Jake pushes himself up from the ground, a headache already forming. He rubs his head before he grabs his discarded gun and follows Boyle back to the car, the suspect being placed in the back. "Hey, you okay?" Charles finally asks, getting a good look at his friend. 
Jake brushes off the comment, shrugging his shoulders. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a couple bruises." He lies and Charles can read him so easily, but for once, he doesn't mention it. 
"You should still get looked at." Boyle tells him, climbing into the driver's seat of the car. Jake doesn't plan on taking his advice, his thoughts still clouded by you despite his pain. 
"Yeah, yeah. I will." He gets in the car, Boyle's music filling the space. It's quiet other than the music and the man in the back sighing heavily.
Jake could have gotten killed back there, all because he wasn't focused. He decides he needs to fix that once the car pulls up to the station, at least that's what he's telling himself as he makes a beeline to his car instead of taking the suspect in. "You got it, Boyle? I'll be back." He throws a glance to Charles, finding a worried look on his friend's face, but Jake brushes it off, starting his car. He's got that determined look on his face, even though his heart is beating out of his chest and his face stings, chest heavy with emotion and pain. Jake needs to see you, needs to know everything will be fine, but the closer he gets to your apartment, the more he starts to doubt going there.
Jake parks the car and starts walking up to your apartment. You never told him how much time you needed, maybe he should leave. He never listens to his rational thoughts, instead knocking on your door. 
He watches your face drop as soon as the door opens, but worry fills your eyes after you take in his state. "Jake, what are you doing here? Are you hurt?" You want to reach out to him, drag him inside to tend to his bruises, to his heart, but you're still wary. 
"No. It’s nothing." He answers, not sure where to go from here. Does he apologize? Get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness? Jake wasn't the best when it came to navigating relationships, but he wants to make it work with you, no matter what. 
"Then why are there bruises all over your face?" You ask, finally reaching out to take his hand into yours. He doesn't say anything, letting you sit him down on the couch as you gather some first-aid supplies. You want to ask him what happened and them scold him for being reckless, but it doesn't seem right. You take the spot next to him, wetting the cotton ball with peroxide. You reach up tentatively, pressing it to his wounds. 
Jake is looking at you with a blank expression like he's trying to read you. You keep yourself busy, eyes avoiding his own. You wish he wouldn't have shown up here, seeing him so upset all because of you makes your heart ache for him. It is so easy for you to fix it, to reach out and caress his face, telling him how you were both wrong. It's not that simple, as much as you want it to be, as much as Jake wants it to be. 
You finish tending to the cuts, packing away all the supplies and placing them on the coffee table. You turn back to him, Jake still hasn't said a word, so out of the ordinary for him. "What happened?" You finally break the silence, finally meet his eyes. 
He seems to snap out of it at your words, "Uh, I was looking for a suspect. Caught me off guard." The answer is simple, but it still worries you. His job could be so dangerous, more so if he wasn't paying attention, wasn't giving it his all. 
That's when you begin to crack, the thought of losing him always at the back of your mind. "I'm just glad you're okay." You bring your hand to grip his. That's all he needs to know. 
You can see the hurt in his eyes, the way they beg for you to wrap him into your arms and tell him there's nothing to worry about. "I'm so sorry. All the things you said about me, I..." He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, recalling the fight the two of you had. You brought up moving in together, something of the sort, Jake got scared, he laughed, brushed it off, even though you've been meaning to talk about it for months. You mentioned other things, the way he was never serious, but it was all said in anger, you never meant for it to sting him so bad. You loved every part of Jake, the childishness, the way he kept you on your toes, his jokes. He was such a loving boyfriend, but you had to coax him into the serious things at times, slowly, not in a spout of anger. 
You shake your head at his words, squeezing his hand. "Jake." You pull him out of his head, his eyes meeting yours. They soften at the way you say his name. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. We should have sat down and talked about it, I shouldn't have snapped at you and made you leave." He shakes his head, opening his mouth to tell you it's his fault, but you stop him. "It's okay." You assure him, moving closer to him, hand carefully moving to the side of his face, careful not to press into his wounds. You connect your lips with his, his hands grip your waist. You pour everything you've wanted to say to him into the kiss, how much you've missed him. 
Jake's eyes have brightened after you pull away, a familiar grin replacing his frown. "Are you gonna kiss it better?" He jokes, leaning into your touch, a suggestive look on his face.
All you can do is laugh and roll your eyes, so glad to have him back with you, even if it was only a few days. "If that'll make you feel better." You tease, pressing a small kiss to his lips and one to the bruise on his cheek. You pull back to meet his eyes again, filled with adoration, the sight makes your heart pick up. "What?" You feel the heat rise to your cheeks from the way he's staring at you. 
"I love you." Jake has said it before, hundreds of times, you're sure, each time it has made your legs weak. But the way he's looking at you now, like you're everything, makes your heart clench. The words are filled with raw honesty, making your eyes fill with the same adoration to match his. 
"I love you, too." You reply, the same love sick grin spreading across your lips. You feel giddy, you always do around Jake, he makes you feel like a love sick teenager.
You press another kiss to his lips, falling into his body as the two of you lean back against the couch. You bury your head into his neck after you pull away, sliding your hands along his chest. Jake thinks he's finally ready, finally ready to jump in, head first. He wants to give you everything and get exactly the same in return, he knows he can trust you with that. His next words are completely out of nowhere, but still welcome. "Let's do it. Let's move in together." 
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disruptedvice · 5 years
Text
Dancing around each other
Soulmate AU for @amydancepants-peralta for the @b99fandomevents summer 2019 fic exchange
Summary:
“Ah! Amy! Help!” Jake shrieked the moment she answered her phone, not really concerned about volume control since he was kinda trying to not die at the moment. It had gotten through four rings before she finally picked up, and this would've been it for Jake if it'd gone straight to voicemail.
Amy frowned, looking around as if he could see her, but soon brushed it off as her being paranoid. “Jake? What's wrong?”
“I've got the goose!” He shouted, jumping to dodge another swipe that could only be described as intelligent and intent. “The goose is here! The goose is here!”
Soulmate AU where one person finds a goose who leads them to the other person. The difficulty comes in not being mauled by a goose.
AO3 Link
________
Dancing Around Each Other ________
“Ah! Amy! Help!” Jake shrieked the moment she answered her phone, not really concerned about volume control since he was kinda trying to not die at the moment. It had gotten through four rings before she finally picked up, and this would've been it for Jake if it'd gone straight to voicemail.
Amy frowned, looking around as if he could see her, but soon brushed it off as her being paranoid. “Jake? What's wrong?”
If it was anyone else calling her, she would have already been freaking out by someone yelling help on the other end of the line, but this was Jake, so she was merely concerned, knowing this call had a 60% chance of being ridiculous. The man counted running out of gummy bears an emergency. Forgive her for being a bit skeptical of this phone call. Besides, the timing was too suspicious. Of all the times to call her out of the blue, he picked right now?
“I've got the goose!” Jake shouted, jumping to dodge another swipe that could only be described as intelligent and intent. “The goose is here! The goose is here!”
He had been trying to get away from it when he stood on top of the dining room chair that had more or less been pushed into the corner of the room, and boy, that was a big mistake. He was panicking, okay? He thought that standing on top of it would keep him safe and out of range. Now he was trapped, and currently being held hostage by a hostile entity that happened to be a goose.
It took Amy a few seconds to process what he was telling her, because really? Today of all days? She thought his random call was suspicious timing. Turns out she was in the clear, because today was the day Jake Peralta got his goose.
Normally she would step outside to take a phone call, but this place was practically deserted, so she didn't feel too bad about talking on the phone in the section she had found herself in. She was using her inside voice- and it's not like she was in a library or anything. Still, she set down the box she was carrying on one of the cheapy gray-ish blue vinyl benches and sat beside it, trying to make herself as unobtrusive as possible as she took this very important phone call.
“You're not supposed to let it corral you,” Amy said unhelpfully from the other side of the phone, like Jake didn't know that, like anyone didn't know that. It was a different story when you were the one being attacked in your own home first thing in the morning. Everyone knew you weren't supposed to let it corral you, but that was easier said than done.
It was a rampant goose that was supposed to get you to your soulmate, but geese are crazy and don't give a shit, so you were more than likely going to end up at your soulmate's feet bloody and maimed with a hissing beast flapping behind you.
You're pretty much screwed if your goose gets you cornered. Geese aren't logical. They don't care if snapping at you when you're trapped means it'll take longer for you to get to the person you're meant for. You're expecting reason from a beast. A violent, vicious beast.
“That's easy for you to say when you're not being hunted by a goose,” Jake pointed out, jumping on the unfortunately wobbly chair, trying to dodge another menacing- peck? Peck seemed too light a word for what it was doing.
Anyways, it didn't work. His shins were prime real estate, and he yelped when the bird hit him with deadly accuracy.
“You know you're not allowed to go to the precinct today,” his partner reminded him, again rather unhelpfully.
Amy seemed way too calm for his liking when he was fighting for his life right now. The least she could do was come over and shoot it before he was mauled to death.
Did guns even work on soulmate geese? He didn't know. He was too afraid to find out- he didn't wanna know what a goose with a vengeance looked like if he missed.
Amy was, of course, talking about the precinct's no goose policy. If a member of the NYPD happened to be unfortunate enough to have their soulmate goose show up one morning, they were absolutely prohibited from showing up to work that day. Because geese weren't picky.
Sure, they'd follow their victim and get them to their soulmate eventually, but they would absolutely peck the shit out of anyone within a goose-rage radius, which was very problematic in enclosed work spaces like a police precinct.
That left Jake alone fending off the foul water fowl.
He didn't know how much longer he could last. He had to get out of his apartment. Backed into a corner on a dumb chair with a goose trying to get at him and succeeding (oh god was it succeeding) was not going to end well for him.
He shouldn't have let it corral him.
Geese were way taller than he had any idea of. Who the hell needed a neck that long?
“Hey, maybe if you race over here and blare the sirens, it'll be distracting enough for me to slip by this goose without losing any fingers,” or toes, he noted, not sure whether or not he should be thankful that the goose had it out for his legs like they had personally wronged it. “Please come help me,” he begged, jolting again at another peck and bite combo. He was desperate here. “You don't have to fend it off, even though I would do that for you cause you're my partner. You don't have to risk death by goose for little ol me. I just need a distraction.”
Amy grimaced. “Sorry, Jake. Today's my day off- I'm in Manhattan with my brother,” the excuse just slipped off her tongue with an ease that maybe should have been a bit concerning, but no one had to know but her. “Just try and rush it and get out the door.”
“But I'll get bit!”
“You're getting bit now, aren't you?” It was a rhetorical question. From his pained yelps, she estimated the goose had landed at least six direct blow since their conversation started.
“I can't go out now. I'll get arrested for public indecency! This goose didn't wait for me to get dressed this morning.” Jake covered the phone with his hand as he leaned down, hissing directly at the goose, “No manners-!”
It snapped at him, and he realized that leaning down to scold a demon goose wasn't the smartest idea if he wanted to keep his movie star good looks. He wanted his nose to stay attached to his face, thank you very much.
Man, he really wished he wore more than boxers to sleep last night. But it was summer, and hot, so excuse him for sleeping comfortably in the privacy of his own goddamn home.
Even a pair of pajama pants meant his legs probably wouldn't have been bleeding at the moment.
Instead, he woke up to this.
Amy shrugged, but it took seeing the action reflected at her in one of the small titled mirrors on the ground for her to realize he couldn't see the gesture. “I don't know what to tell you. It's not gonna end until you get moving. Oh, and maybe don't get in a car,” she added, now that she thought of it. “I've heard it can be especially bad being stuck in one with a goose. But hey, look on the bright side-”
“The bright side is staring me down with teeth and monster tongues,” Jake said dryly.
She rolled her eyes and barreled right on. “Yeah, but you're going to meet your soulmate today.”
Jake blinked. He'd almost forgotten about that aspect. It was kinda hard to think about anything else when you were being attacked by a creature more dinosaur than bird.
“Sorry, I don't think there's anything I can do from here,” Amy told him, already out of helpful tips. She still hadn't encountered her soulmate goose yet. She was trying to be happy for him, though. “You're gonna have to figure this out on your own, Pineapples.”
Jake had a feeling she was going to say that.
“Okay, just- don't hang up. I'm fucking terrified.” _____
Jake slammed his bedroom door shut, pushing his whole body weight up against it, heart racing a mile a minute. He didn't think the goose was strong enough to knock down the door, but he locked his legs in place, his back pressed against the door like he was the only thing keeping it shut. His heart was racing a mile a minute as he panted into the phone, fingers curled around it in an iced grip.
“Made it to my bedroom, still have all my toes.”
There was a scratching of claws at the door that would've been eerie if it wasn't so frantic and determined. It felt like he was starring in his own psychological horror movie thriller and he did not appreciate that. Not at all.
“What if I just locked the door and stayed in here all day?” He asked, an edge of hysteria creeping into his voice. “Then I'll be safe,” he reasoned. “It can't get in here. It can't get me.”
“Jake, it's a supernatural goose. It got into your locked apartment with no trouble. I don't think one more door is going to stop it.”
Jake groaned. At least locking the door meant he might have enough time to get dressed without dodging beaks and feet. Weaponized feet. If he was lucky. _____
There was a hum of commotion outside the store, but Amy paid it no mind. It hadn't even been half an hour since their phone call ended, but of course it was still on her mind.
Sure, she felt a little bad for lying to Jake, but she'd already been here for two hours, and was only slightly closer to making a decision. She had it narrowed down to three options- the same three she'd been staring at for the past 15 minutes. This was going to be perfect- she wouldn't settle for anything less. No way was she ruining her surprise by rushing the choice, not even to hurry out of there to help her partner out of a jam.
While she didn't want to admit it to herself, there was a very small part of her that felt sick at the prospect of having to help Jake track down his soulmate.
What had started out a pleasant day shopping (really, she was just excited about her great idea) was instantly ruined by his phone call. Now there was a lead weight sinking in her stomach, because apparently today was the day.
Amy knew it was selfish. She felt bad enough for it already- Jake was her partner, but she couldn't make herself move from the spot when she knew what it would mean.
She couldn't help him when his goose would lead to someone who wasn't her.
She felt awful about it, but that didn't change the fact that she was standing in this Brooklyn store and staring at what she had picked out, just a short drive away from his apartment.
He'd find his soulmate with or without her help. That was how the whole soulmate goose thing worked.
Besides- she was only here right now because of Jake. That's the only reason she was even in this ridiculous store. She rationalized that it was okay for her to do this for Jake right now instead of helping him with his goose, and it was all good.
She still felt terrible about it. And wasn't any closer to making a decision. _____
The cashier was just about to swipe her card when the door to the store opened with a clamor (and the faint tingling of the bell from above).
Amy was more than a little surprised when she turned to see a disheveled Jake Peralta stumbling over a display case of shoes, panting and- oh my god, was he bleeding?
His arms were covered in red and pink marks, and she wasn't sure if it was a scrape or a small gash on his forehead, but it looked pretty bad all the same.
Jake haphazardly tried to put some distance between him and the goose that chased him in here, looking over his shoulder and thanking his lucky stars that the glass door seemed to be holding it back for the moment.
He leaned over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. He pulled his hands back when the pain signals from his brain reminded him his knees were still covered in very painful bites.
Amy still couldn't believe her eyes. “Jake? Are you okay?”
He looked up, just as surprised to see her as she was him. “Amy? What are you doing here? This isn't Manhatt-” Jake gasped. “You lied! On the phone! You lied to me!”
He surveyed their surroundings, trying to figure out where they were. He hadn't been paying attention where he was being chased with a demon bird on his heels, but once he took around, he instantly recognized it. He loved this place.
He turned back to Amy, more confused than ever. “And what the hell are you doing in a sneaker store?”
It was an honest question, but she seemed to take it as an accusation.
“What are you doing here?” She asked, sounding upset, angry even now that she had snapped out of the gawking she was doing. Like she had anything to be mad about. He was the one who had been lied to- nay, betrayed by the person he was supposed to trust most in this world- and Amy just left him to the jaws of the beast. Hung him out to dry.
“I have a goose snapping at my heels!” He pointed toward the door, not noticing that the goose was now gone.
Somehow, that wasn't his main concern anymore. He was much more hung up on the fact that he called her begging for help, and she gave him some made up excuse so she could continue shopping at a store not even five minutes away from his apartment (the goose had chased him around the block a few times- it took awhile to get here).
They'd been partners for what- eight years? She could've just said she was busy, but nope, she straight up lied to him when he was in a life or death situation that animal control couldn't help him out of.
And to be in this store- it was a low blow. How many times had she called his passion (obsession was how she usually phrased it) frivolous and immature?
Mostly, it was the lying that bothered him. He was maybe a little worked up from all the running and almost dying he did (if you'd ever been chased by a goose, you would understand why he was convinced his obituary would read water fowl related death, which was so not how the Jake Peralta was supposed to go out).
He was in a lot of pain too, though his jeans meant that an employee wouldn't be mopping up blood from the many wounds he'd aggregated as he made his way to where Amy was standing at the counter. At least he wasn't dripping all over the floor.
He was bleeding, with adrenaline pumping through his veins, and his partner had lied to ditch him for a sneaker store, so yes, he felt fully within his right about the chewing out Amy was about to receive.
It was even worse when he got closer. Her eyes widened, filled with concern as she took in his bedraggled appearance. Jake looked like he'd been through a ringer. It wasn't just his normal disheveledness- he was still panting from the run, face flushed, clothing all askew (his shirt even ripped in some places), and his jeans had a few too many of what appeared to be suspiciously fresh blood stains.
Plus, he looked mad. Jake almost never got mad. That enough was cause for concern.
“You lied to me! For a pair of sneakers!” He looked down at the box she was purchasing- a large pair of red, definitely male sneakers. “Those are so not your size.”
Amy winced, realizing only too late that she should've covered up her purchase when he started getting closer. She groaned in aggravation- now he knew, and this was all for nothing. “Ugh! Your damn goose ruined my surprise!”
“What surprise?” Jake tried to hold onto his righteous indignation, but he couldn't help the way he perked up at the mention of a surprise. He narrowed his eyes at her, curious but suspicious that maybe she was just trying to distract him from his very deserved anger.
Amy slumped over in defeat, figuring she might as well tell him since it was already ruined.
“You're always going on and on about your damn sneakers,” she grumbled, crossing her arms (and making a face that Jake would classify as unfairly cute). “I thought it would be a good birthday present. Of course I lied- I couldn't tell you I've spent way too long trying to decide if you'd like the red sneakers with the stripey thing better, or the orange ones with the yellow curly bits. And that was only after I ruled out the neon pair with the rainbow shoe laces because there's just way too many choices here,” she motioned vaguely towards the wall that was covered with what had to be hundreds of display shoes of various colors, styles, brands, and whatever the hell else was supposed to make one shoe different and distinct from the next. She now understood how Jake could spend hours in this store. “I should've just gotten you a gift card. I was planning on doing that too, in case you hated there, but I wanted to get you an actual present too, you know? I couldn't tell you I've been here all morning staring at shoes that look exactly the same and trying to decide which one you'd like better for a birthday present.” Amy looked like she was about to give up just from recounting her struggle in this god forsaken land of sneakers. “And they do, Jake,” she pressed, eyebrows pulling together in distress. “They all look the same. They all look like sneakers.”
Jake waited for her to laugh, or say she was joking. But she didn't. Santiago was overwhelmingly earnest and almost distraught, like this sneaker store had broken her.
“Amy, my birthday's in three months,” he deadpanned.
She just shrugged in response. “I like to get things done early.”
The realization hit them at the same moment- the significance that they'd both glossed over because of confusion, defeat, and feelings. The dawning comprehension on his face was mirrored on hers. Of what this meant.
“Your goose... led you here.”
“Yeah,” Jake agreed slowly, his speech just as stilted as hers. “It did.”
Amy looked around nervously, trying to clock all the people in the store. There was a young couple milling about a few aisles down, a couple stragglers here and there, at least one worker stocking the shelves, and of course, the cashier ringing her up. It truly was a mark of living in New York that- after his initial disruption of clambering into the store and making a mess- no one was even paying attention to them anymore. Except the cashier, since Amy was still technically in the middle of her purchase. All in all, there was seven people in the store, then her and Jake.
A gloom fell over his face at her reaction, misinterpreting it as Amy checking for other people that could be the soulmate his goose was herding him to, because she wasn't pleased with the conclusion that it was possibly leading him to her.
When duh, it was the exact opposite. She wanted to rule out any other option, because this had to be a sure thing before she let herself get excited about it, or really feel the overwhelming relief that was already threatening to bubble up.
“I'm never gonna get my goose!” Amy whooped with an excited cheer. Sure, maybe now wasn't the time to celebrate that since Jake was standing right in front of her after being attacked by a goose, but really, when was the appropriate time to celebrate one would never be attacked by a goose? Cause now felt right.
“Uh, what?”
“This means I'll never have to deal with a soulmate goose!” She grinned at him, because this was very good news (for her, at least). “Cause I already found you. I'll already be with my soulmate, so a goose won't need to show up to chase me to you! I'll never have to be attacked by a soulmate goose! Cause it got you first!” Amy laughed, utterly gleeful, and Jake was conflicted to say the least. Because Amy was laughing and looking so happy, which he loved, but she was also rejoicing in the fact that he got viciously mauled by a goose and celebrating that she'd never have to go through it because it happened to him, and he kinda wanted to be mad at her teasing and laughing at him like this, but his heart was confused, because he thought she was upset, but now she's smiling?
Just then, Jake felt the beak of death clamp around his leg with a vicious honk, and yes, Jake shrieked, and no, he was not proud of that.
The goose let out another terrifying honk before it made a mad dash forward, becoming a blur of feathers barreling towards Amy's legs.
She didn't have time to react before it darted over her feet, biting her knee, hard, almost as if to mark her beyond a shadow of a doubt that yes, the goose was definitely leading him to the human called Amy Santiago.
“Shit,” she cursed, her hand automatically going to her freshly bitten knee. She'd heard stories, but god did that hurt.
“You totally deserved that,” Jake said.
Amy looked at him aghast, about to shoot something back at him, but there was another predatory honk from behind her that made her jump.
She didn't waste any time hurrying over to Jake, convinced the safest place for her legs to be was right in front of his. She took his hands in hers for good measure (not like she really needed a motivation to hold hands with Jake- she was always looking for an excuse).
“So, you're okay with this?” He asked cautiously, sounding uncharacteristically vulnerable. Still, he interlaced his fingers with hers, almost without noticing himself. Amy did, her heartbeat speeding up at the simple action of entwining their fingers together, like it was meant to be.
“Yeah,” she nodded. “I didn't think it was gonna be me.” His face fell at that. Her eyes widened when she realized how he took it, and she rushed to clear up the misconception. “No! Like it upset me! Your call ruined my morning, because I thought you'd find your soulmate today and it wouldn't be me. I'm glad it was me. I wanted it to be me. I wanted it to be you,” she said, fervently, cupping his cheek, because she needed him to understand.
Jake smiled. “I wanted it to be you too.”
They didn't need the prompting of a rabid goose to finally get to kissing, but it certainly helped speed things up a bit.
For a kiss that was partially motivated by fear, it was a damn good one. All of the pain from being hunted by a goddamn bird was worth it the moment Amy pressed her lips to his. He could barely even feel all his wounds when Amy wrapped her arms around his neck, closing the minuscule distance between them, her body flush against his.
Amy could still feel the pain from her one knee bite, with a new sympathy and guilt for being so flippant with her celebration of never having to go through the goose mauling he just went through because holy shit did it hurt. But getting to kiss Jake was a good consolation prize, as far as she was concerned.
They were both grinning at each other like absolute idiots when they finally parted. If they weren't in public, she might have been tempted to go back for more, something a little more intense this time. By the way his eyes kept darting down to her lips and back to her eyes again, he was feeling the same.
“The sneakers are awesome, Amy,” he told her with a soft smile, lighting up at the way she absolutely glowed at the praise. “You have good taste.”
As if she couldn't smile any wider. She found she was okay with her birthday surprise being ruined- just this once.
“Yeah,” she murmured, fingers trailing at the back of his neck. “I think so too.”
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egrets · 5 years
Text
we all know the sun will shine
It’s weird to let someone know, even if they ask, that you and your wife are having a ridiculous amount of unprotected sex, so Jake and Amy just don’t tell anyone.
Well, at least not on purpose.
ao3
It comes to him in waves.
First, as a small blip at the waterpark: the long stretch of twisty, slow-moving water that allows them to get in their tubes and lie back and relax, chatting about everything and anything and nothing at all; the nearly vertical slide that nearly gives Amy a heart attack with its sheer height and angle (“Jake, if you die I will totally kill you”); and the relative quiet that is the dusk, when the sun is halfway down the sky. Amy is lying on the chair next to him, a book propped up on her lap. But her gaze is elsewhere, on the two toddlers at the edge of a nearby shallow pool, on the big grins on their faces even though the water’s gotten cold and their parents came by to tell them it was “time to go home.” Jake watches her watching them, the little smile that creeps onto her lips—he wonders how big it’d be with her own kid. Their kid. His kid. It’s then when he feels the corners of his own mouth turning up, but he chooses not to say anything. Not yet.
A month later, they’re at her nephew Manny’s sixth birthday party. Normally, they only stay until after the cake was distributed (Amy’s always been able to sweet talk tía Belén into giving Jake a corner slice, which is just another reason he knows that Amy is it for him), especially since it’s nowhere fun like a skate rink or laser tag arena, but Manny is Amy’s favorite nephew, one of Cecil’s (her favorite brother). So, they stay. They stay well after Manny opens his gifts, including their educational coding game that he actually seems excited about.
Amy finally gets the chance to say hello to him after the last of the pictures have been taken, and, when he sees her, Manny bolts toward her, happily shrieking “Tía! Tía!” as he wraps his arms around her legs. She bends down, smiling oh so wide, and they chat and chat and chat and she pinches his cheek and he giggles. Of course, it’s not the first Santiago family function Jake’s attended, nor is it the first time he’s seen Amy dote on her brothers’ children before. But it’s the first time he’s ever watched Amy interact with children while also allowing himself to imagine what she’ll be like with their own little boy or girl—the belly-laughs and the hugs and the tugging at her hair. The way she looks back at Jake, now, with her eyes lit up and he knows he wants this, he wants this soon.
Just how soon is the question.
It’s not until late July, when the squad is tasked with finishing a scavenger hunt with a particularly staunch time limit—a bomb. God, why does everyone resort to bombs to cause strife? Why not a mob? In any case, the bomber calls the 99th out—drops Captain Raymond Holt by name—and they only have five hours to find the tick tick tick and disarm it. (They do, they do, with only three minutes left on the clock and frankly Jake thinks this is among the scariest moments of his life.) But it’s the after that impacts him the most. When they arrive back at the precinct, the families of the squad are already there: Genevieve and Nikolaj for Charles, Kevin and Cheddar for Holt, Jocelyn for Rosa, and Sharon and the girls for Terry. Jake’s lucky; he had Amy by his side for the whole of the day, could grip her hand and know she was alive by the pulse of her wrist underneath his thumb.
Absently, he watches as Terry’s swarmed by his three little girls, watches as their faces grow fonder than he thinks possible. He watches as Nikolaj hangs onto his father’s waist, watches the boy’s eyes light up with the knowledge that his dad’s okay. Without meaning to, Jake thinks back to the hospital, to when they first had the conversation about kids and when he decided that the fact that he’s scared shouldn’t keep him from wanting them. He thinks back to when Amy said that “kids bring joy into your life.”
He wants that joy.
He wants that joy now.
(Or, as soon as possible, he supposes.)
After a beat, he glances at Amy, studies the way she surveys the scene, a spectator. And then when he smiles, her gaze flits to his, and he takes this moment to slip his palm into hers and bring her closer. She furrows her brow at this, but he kisses her softly.
“I’m ready if you are.”
Ostensibly, Jake knows that it wouldn’t happen immediately. Amy is over thirty-five and just got off of birth control (and apparently it takes a few months for the body to readjust), and they’re both still under a pretty good deal of stress. Still, he’s surprised that four months out, nothing’s happened—after all, Amy has a three-inch thick conception binder with cascading tabs and they’re both eating a crazy amount of spinach and pineapple. They manage to get eight hours of sleep every night. Neither use scented body lotions anymore (although, it’s not like Jake used them often), and they’re avoiding alcohol as much as possible.
And they’ve tried not to tell people.
It’s weird to let someone know, even if they ask, that you and your wife are having a ridiculous amount of unprotected sex, so they don’t tell anyone.
Well, at least not on purpose.
The first person to find out that they’re trying for a baby is Rosa, but somehow that isn’t shocking. Nor is it shocking that she figures it out on her own, because Rosa’s always been particularly observant.
But then, one early Monday afternoon, shortly following Amy’s lunch break (which he normally shares with her, but he missed it because of some stupid hard-to-track-down witness dodging his calls), Rosa sidles up to his desk and practically growls at him to meet her in the evidence locker.
At first, Jake is confused. And terrified.
Especially when he enters and Rosa shoves him up against one of the shelves and holy shit is that a knife. Briefly, Jake wonders if these are his last few moments on earth. He wishes that he’d gotten the chance to tell Amy about the signed copy of Deathly Hallows that he got her for her birthday that’s tucked under a loose floorboard in the bathroom.
Instead of killing him, Rosa just glares. “If your wife is pregnant and you still think you don’t want a baby and you break her heart, I will eviscerate you.”
“’Eviscerate.’ Nice word.”
“I mean it, Peralta.”
Jake gulps. “I know.” He tries to smile. “But you also know I would never leave her. Wouldn’t want to. And Amy isn’t pregnant.”
Rosa just raises an eyebrow.
“She took a test this morning and it was negative.”
“Those can be inaccurate.”
“She took five tests.”
Silence.
“Amy and I are trying, though. It’s been a few months and, so far, nothing, but we’re gonna keep trying.”
Rosa’s eyes shift down, drop to the floor. “So, you do want a baby? This isn’t just you going along with it?”
“You know that Amy wouldn’t let me ‘just go along with it.’” There’s something itchy at the back of his throat. “But yes, we want a baby. I want a baby. With her. Hence, the trying.”
Then, Rosa steps back. She gives him a hard look and nods. “So, she’s not pregnant?”
“Not yet, anyways. Hopefully soon.” He lets out a deep breath, looks between her and the door, before asking, “Why’d you think she was pregnant in the first place?”
“She’s peed four times in the past hour.”
“She’s trying to stay hydrated.”
“Her emergency shame cigarettes aren’t anywhere in the precinct.”
“She’s been trying to quit.”
“She bolted to the bathroom when Boyle brought in his lunch.”
“Did it have eyeballs in it?”
“…yes.”
Just as Rosa’s about to leave, Jake grabs her arm, which is usually a bad decision because she hates touch. Now, though, she just pauses. “Please don’t tell anyone about Amy and I. Especially Boyle.”
Rosa scoffs. “As if I’d ever tell Boyle personal information.”
“He was literally the first person you came out to.”
Instead of a response, all he hears is the door shutting behind her.
Somehow, over the course of the next few months, everyone seems to find out that they’re trying.
Terry finds out because he recognizes Jake and Amy’s crazy strategies for getting pregnant (“Sharon used to drink red raspberry leaf tea, too”), and poor sweet innocent Gary accidentally walks in on them in one of the second-floor supply closets. Holt finds out when he stumbles in on Amy having a conversation on the phone with her mom in one of the back hallways. Hell, even Kevin apparently knows because he emailed Jake with some of his colleagues’ unsolicited fertility tips.
Unfortunately, it quickly becomes a precinct-wide secret that, at any moment, Jake and Amy could be fucking in a supply closet or one of their cars (to be clear, either Jake or Amy’s car). Without condoms or birth control.
(One night, when she’s pressed against his side and his fingers are absentmindedly playing with her hair, she tells him that, no, no one is thinking that. Maybe he’s a bit paranoid, but he swears he sees Officer Alvarado glaring at him when Amy pecks him on the cheek in the morning.)
It gets to the point that everyone knows.
Everyone but Charles.
Of course, that’s not by accident.
Jake and Amy make it a point that no one can tell Charles, because they know he will have a heart attack or be insistent on being their personal doula or give them a jar of goat urine or something. They’re not ready for that.
Charles has never been angrier at his best friend.
For the past six months, he’s known something was up. They both smelled like pineapples. They were always sneaking off. Amy’s refused to come to their bar nights at Shaw’s. Jake’s been drinking water. Frankly, he’s mad at himself for not catching it sooner.
They’ve been trying for a baby and they didn’t even ask him for his sage advice. (After all, he is a licensed doula.)
And they didn’t tell him.
Holt told him.
(Well, accidentally. Holt had asked him to look at a report on his computer and had a tab open labeled “r/tryingforababy,” which, of course, Charles immediately noticed and was confused about for a split second because Holt and Kevin never seemed to have any inclination towards having children. Then he connected the dots and the moment he questioned Holt, he broke.)
They told Holt and didn’t tell him.
Who else knows?
Charles has half a mind to confront them about it, but he decides to wait. And stew. From across the bullpen, he watches as Amy hovers by her husband’s desk, and he takes her hands, covering them with his own. It’s too cute, and Charles wants to wretch.
Then, they stand, slowly amble to the evidence locker.
After a beat, Charles follows them.
“—doing okay, Ames?”
“AHA!”
“Charles?”
“What are you doing here, Boyle?”
He’s caught them in the act. They’re chatting. Probably about how they’ve been unfairly keeping their secret from him. Their eyes are wide as they stare at him, shocked—Amy’s mouth even forms a little “oh.”
“I can’t believe you thought you could keep this secret from me, Peralta,” Charles spits. He hates how mean he sounds when he really wants to just hug them both. But he’s been betrayed, and he can’t just give them the fail-safe fertility tips that have been in the Boyle family for hundreds of years.
“We wanted to tell you, but we’re not telling anyone until we’re sure,” Jake offers. Lightly, Amy’s gripping his arm.
Charles isn’t having it. “I’m really the first person who knows? Everyone knows!”
Amy blanches. “No one should know.”
“I had to hear it from Captain Holt.”
“Holt knows?”
Jake is confused. “Holt couldn’t have found out.”
“When were you going to tell me you were trying for a baby?” Charles is on the verge of crying; his best friend is lying to him. He doesn’t know what happened to their friendship. How could this have happened? “You guys could already be pregnant if you’d just asked me! I have so many pieces of advice passed down from generations of very fertile Boyles."
“Charles—”
“Do you know how much yak milk I have in storage?”
“Charles—”
“I just can’t believe—”
“Charles!”
He breaks out of his spiral then, and Amy worries her lip. “Charles, we aren’t trying to get pregnant.”
His heart breaks, and for some ungodly reason, Jake’s smiling. Like really wide. “But—”
Amy leans into her husband then, and he wraps his arm around her. Charles has never seen either of them so goddamn happy, aside from maybe when he walked in on them in the evidence locker after Jake proposed. Now, Jake glances down at her, as if to check with her on something, then back at him. “We’re not trying anymore.”
Why do they keep torturing him? It’s like they’re just twisting the knife further and further. He turns to leave, betrayed. Hurt.
“Charles, we’re not trying anymore because we’re pregnant.”
He doesn’t even feel the hard floor when he passes out.
“Honestly, that could’ve gone a lot worse.”
Amy raises her eyebrows at her husband as they watch from the break room the small man who’s sitting all the way across the bullpen, typing away at his computer. Once he woke up, they expected that he’d run out into the office and start bellowing some sort of Boyle Birthing Ballad. But he doesn’t. He walked out calmly, sat down at his desk, and got back to work.
Jake presses a kiss to her temple. “How long do you think before he tells anyone?”
“I dunno, he kept Rosa’s secret for a pretty long time.”
“He also probably feared for his life.”
Amy pauses, crinkles her nose as if in deep thought. They wanted to wait until she was ten weeks before they told the squad (Holt, of course, would be alerted at six), but she supposes that was too big a dream. “I give him an hour.”
“That long?”
“Forty-five minutes?”
It’s then that they hear “Baby” by Justin Bieber playing from the bullpen.
Five minutes.
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trynnabemultifandom · 5 years
Text
Jake Peralta x reader
I'm obsessed with b99 and Jake is my fave character. it's my first time writing a b99 fan fic so idk if it's gonna be good
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I joined the 99 exactly 4 months ago. when I first came here, I was scared that I wasn't going to fit in with the other detectives but that wasn't the case. my first day on the job Captain Holt had made sure that I had a warm welcome from everyone.
Flashback to the first day
"Everyone in the briefing room now" Holt announces "he always sounds so stern" Gina mumbles. when everyone was in the briefing room, Holt assigned people with their cases for the day and then introduced you to everyone
"I would like to introduce you all to the new member of the team. detective (L/N)" I walk into the briefing room nervously after the captain had announced who I was. I decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself "hello my name is Detective (F/N) (L/N) and I'm glad to be a part of the team" I scan my eyes around the room to check out the other detectives and my eyes land on a fairly good looking detective sitting at the back of the room
"Peralta, because your old partner quit, Detective (L/N) will be your new partner" I follow the captains eyes to see who he's talking to only to see he's talking to the good looking dude at the back. my eyes are still focused on Peralta wondering what his next move is gonna be. he remained seated for a few moments after the captain paired us up. I see him smirk while looking at me, he finally gets up and walks over to me and the captain
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"so what's our case today captain?" he's silent for a moment looking at a file "local drug bust, will probably have to be a stakeout" Peralta and I both nod and thank the captain. before I can say anything else, Peralta had already snatched the case file from the captains hand and dragged me with him to the parking lot. Once we were in the car Jake decides to talk again "first day on the job and you're spending it with the best Detective in the precinct" he has a cocky grin "oh really? where is this 'best detective'?" he looked slightly offended "I'm kidding, I know you're the best Detective in the precinct" he smirks "good, just don't let Santiago here you say that"
a couple of hours into our stakeout, I notice a van pull up ahead of Jake's car "jake look" I pull on his arm to get his attention "finally some shits going down" me and Jake grab our guns and vests from the back and slowly get out of the car and walk up to the van "it's empty" jake says. I walk over to the side jake was as and look up at the building "guess we have some door duty to do then" as I'm walking away I hear jake mumble something under his breath "what was that Peralta?" "oh nothing, was just talking to myself" I smirk and lightly chuckle
We finally get to the floor that our perp is on, now it's just a matter of how we're going to do this. Jake knocks on the door "NYPD open up" nobody answers the door but I hear something being knocked over. I push jake back and kick down the door. I see two men struggling to put the drugs in the bag "NYPD FREEZE" I shout. one guy surrenders with his hands up and Jake goes over to cuff him, while the other guy is a bit more difficult. I put down my gun to show him I'm not going to shoot and reach for my hand cuffs. before I can get them on the guy, he punches me in the face
I see Jake looking at the scene and when the dude punched me, that made jake mad. he went over the the guy and handcuffed him "you are under arrest for attempted drug smuggling, resisting arrest and assaulting a fellow police officer" I can't help but admire jake while he's doing all of this. as he's reading the rights I go over the already handcuffed perp and bring him out to the car. when they were both in the car, Jake turned to me "hey are you ok?" I nod "yeah, it's just a hit" jake chuckled "(Y/N), you got a punch to the face. at least let me check it over once we get back to the precinct" I sigh "if it makes you happy then ok" he smiles "good"
Back at the precinct, after people had congratulated me on my first arrest, jake had brought me to the break room to clean up the cut on my lip "thank you Doctor Peralta" he chuckles "this might sting" he gently takes a hold of my chin and tilts my head so he can clean my lip. the cold tissue comes in contact with my lip and I flinch a little "sorry" I chuckle a little "it's ok, it was just cold" while I have this opportunity, I take in jake's facial features, I feel jake doing the same. I involuntarily find myself leaning in. just as we were about to kiss, there was a knock on the door
Jake and I back away from each other and I clear my throat "jake, the captain wants to see you" jake gives me a smile before heading out of the room. I gather my things and sit at my desk
Jake's POV
Just as Y/N and I were about to kiss, there was a knock on the break room door. I inwardly sigh at whoever ruined our moment. "Jake the captain wants to see you" it was Gina. I give Y/N a smile before I leave the room. I walk into the captains office "Sir, you wanted to see me?"
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He didn't look too happy. then again, he never really does "yes, take a seat Peralta" I sit down and then he starts talking "I see your stakeout with Detective (L/N) went well" I nod "yeah it did" he nods "obviously except for the fact that (L/N) got punched in the face" I sigh "so that's what this is about" "yes it is Peralta. you were meant to be training her and keeping her safe" I nod "I know sir, but I was with her the entire time. I was arresting one of the perps, as soon as I saw what he had done I took action straight away" "that's not the point. she still got injured under your watch and that will have to go on file"
I sigh "look, sir I know what happened shouldn't have happened but she's a good cop and I didn't want her sitting on the side lines. she's a badass and plus she's ok, she let me take a look at her lip and it's fine" the captain looked like he was thinking "here's what I'll do. I won't write you up, I'll let her remain your partner, but for the next week, you both will be off the field and will be working from your desk" I nod "ok, fine" "dismissed"
Your POV
I really wanted to know what was going on in the captains office. jake looked frustrated and the captain looked, well like he always does. I see Jake coming out of the office and I pretend like I'm doing my work. he sits at his desk which is in front of mine. "hey how'd it go with the cap?" he sighed, uh oh "he was giving out to me that I let you get hurt, I told him how good and badass you were though and he told me that he won't write me up, but we aren't allowed out on the field for a week, so we're gonna be working from our desks instead"
"oh fun" I say sarcastically. I don't know why the captains punishing Jake for this, it isn't his fault "look (Y/N), I'm sorry. this is my fault. If I had of been doing my job right this never would have happened" I look over to Jake "hey, it isn't your fault. I'm the one who ran head first into this whole thing, I'll take the blame and I'll work from the desk for a week. you shouldn't have to suffer from my mistake" Jake gets up from his seat and sits at the one beside mine "look, we're partners. we'll do this together. plus, you looked badass kicking down the door"
i was going to say something when I was interrupted by Boyle "I hear wedding bells" I look at Charles then back and Jake and laugh "too early Charles" jake says. i wonder does anyone know about mine and Jake's little moment in the break room. anyway, enough about that. time to get back to work "anyway, look (Y/N), what I'm saying is, we're partners, we'll always stick together and have each others backs ok? I don't mind working from my desk because I get to do it with you" I look up "cheesy cliché, I like it" I giggle
"it's what I'm known for" jake sits back down at his desk and goes back to doing his work. I turn to my computer and start typing up my report on how the drug bust went. working with jake isn't going to be as bad as I thought
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OK, let me know if it's good/bad, if there's mistakes in it or even if yous want a part 2. personally I like it
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jakette · 5 years
Text
The Clean Up
"Don't you dare touch anything on my desk, Santiago!" Jake yelled from the doorway of the Captian's office.
He had heard all about Amy's little organising party, courtesy of Terry. Sure he was married to her and let her organise their house but there was no way he was gonna let her clean his sanctuary.
"Wha?....... I wasn't going to." She tried playing innocent but seeing Jake's impassive face approaching her she gave up the pretence.  
 "Come on Jake, everyone is participating in this. You have to do it." She went on as Jake took a seat at his desk.
"There is literally nothing you could offer me that would make me throw out my stuff." He replied.
They had an audience now. The whole squad listening in as the married couple proceeded with their little quarrel.
"Nothing?" Amy challenged.
"Yes Amy. Absolutely nothing." He verified.
"Not even sexy times?" She seductively suggested in a low voice, raising her eyebrows.
"Now you want to sell your body to make me do things! That's low Santiago, even for you." Jake feigned surprise. Which was immediately replaced by his characteristic Peralta smile.
Amy just rolled her eyes at him. "I'm gonna do this, you know that right? It's just a matter of time Peralta."
"Uh......I know for a fact you're not. But I don't have time to delve into the reasons right now cause candidate of the month just showed up!" He yelled, waving in Gordon's direction but seeing his disapproving face he continued to Amy. "Fun fact: He is very much like Holt. I don't imagine him liking tardiness. Or fun. Oh look, there it is. He's going back! K. Love ya, See ya. Bye!" He ran after the candidate stopping him early in his pursuit of the elevator.
Amy looked around the bullpen. Everybody had gone back to their own work and Jake was in discussion with the potentially new assistant. She took a moment before reaching out to gather Jake's stuff.
"Uh uh uh, I've got eyes on you Santiago!" He  sing-yelled at her across the bullpen, smiling, as he made his way to the interrogation room to conduct Gordon's interview.
She scowled and held her hands in surrender, regaining her composure fairly quickly.
"Fine, I'll just get to it later." She said under her breath, more to herself than anyone else.
Amy was happy. I mean getting to organise the bullpen on an ordinary, otherwise boring day, Hell yeah! But it had proved to be more difficult than she had anticipated.
After Marie Kondo had failed her; She was ecstatic that munkensmåt had worked. The only thing left now was to munkensmåt Jake's desk. She feared the task, but how hard could it be right? So she happily trod across the bullpen.
'Where's Jake?" She asked before making her way to his desk. Her question was answered by Rosa. He was out with Holt.
"That's fantas...tic." Her enthusiasm was cut short by the lack of possessions on Jake's work space. "Where's all his stuff?!"
She opened his bottom drawers, two at a time, definite that was where he had stashed his belongings, only to retch away.
There was a dead mouse laying around half decomposed, along with the rest of his junk and maggot infested food.
"Ha ha......... Beat ya to it Ames."
Jake entered the bullpen, absolutely beaming as he took his place at his chair, totally unaffected by the stench and Amy's disgusted face.
"Jake there's a dead mouse in there and your food's all rotten!"
"Aw look guys!" He began sadly "Algernon's dead. But hey look! Gummy bears."
The whole bullpen echoed with the collective look and sound of displeasure.
"Please don't eat those." Amy requested, only to see him open the packet, his innocent smile in place. "How am I married to you?" Amy wondered aloud just before he put the packet aside seeing the infested maggots exclaiming 'Oh man! I wanted to eat those!'
She shook her head proceeding with the problem at hand. "Where's your stuff Peralta?"
"I monskooted it." He smiled up at her.
"What? No you didn't. I'd know if we incinerated your stuff cause you'd be bawling like a baby." Amy replied, once she understood his terrible pronunciation.
'Yah' He nodded in agreement.
"Where is it?" She asked again when she received no response from him.
"You're a detective Amy. Why don't you solve the case." He suggested with a sly smile.
It only took her a minute’s look around to find out, "It's in the safe under your table, isn't it?"
"Uh no..pfttttt" he tried to fake it.
But as she ducked to get to it, he stopped her.
"Jake come on! Everybody has already organised they're desks. The whole office is clean except your work space. I really want to be featured on the cover of Organisers Quarterly magazine and I can't if you don't cooperate." Amy pleaded with him.
"Couldn't you just not tell them?" Jake proposed seriously.
"What if Bruce from Organisers Quarterly walks in Jake? What then?!" She questioned severely.
"Ames, I'm pretty sure Bruce from Organisers Quarterly is not going to come to our precinct." Jake assures her.
"Fine. But if he does.....I'll divorce you." She threatens and walks away.
"She doesn't mean that." Jake says with an awkward laugh.
He was certain she didn't mean that. 
For they had both smiled over their childish argument at dinner that night, reminiscing over other such petty arguments they had had before. At the end of the night Amy was just as sure of it as she was when she had first said it;
She did not mean that.
Authors Note: So I thought it would have been really funny if amy made Jake clean his desk and then this whole thing came to me in like 15 mins! Also I kinda felt bad for everyone at the end. So they burned all their belongings only to have the bullpen reinstated at the end!?!? Anyways, Hope you like it! ❤️
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