#everyone else: if that twink opens his mouth again i swear to god

[am-i-interrupting]

Okay I don’t know if you are accepting requests or suggestions but can I ask for a one shot or something of like what happens between Vox and reader from the one author, two host series when alastor returns. Like what would happen and I feel like Vox would be FOMING at the mouth from anger because he knows how much pain it caused reader and all doesn’t even tell them where he was

Went Away | OATSH

Vox had long since regretted saving Valentino’s pathetic little soul. He could have and should have found someone else to be the head of the porn industry. Unfortunately, with the deal they’d made, Vox couldn’t harm the man unless he broke the confines of their contract. Valentino toed the line, most certainly, but he hadn’t yet broken it.

Velvette was complaining about one of her models being scared shitless by Valentino and having some of her work torn up but no harm had actually come to any of them. That was always the thing, always the line he just barely stayed in.

He couldn’t hurt anyone without justifiable cause. That is what was in his contract. He could scare, he could manipulate, he could yell, but he couldn’t hurt.

Vox walked into Valentino’s office.

“Fucking finally!” the man yelled. “Kitty, another drink! Can you believe what that piece of shit did?! The ungrateful whore!”

Vox side stepped the glass that had been thrown his way. “Which whore are we talking about this time?”

“Fucking Angel Dust, who the hell else would I be talking about?”

Vox leaned away from Valentino as the man breached his space. Many answers to that question raced into his mind. Too many sex workers, too many models, too many people on the street, himself, once you. Only once had Valentino called you a whore. Never again.

“That fucking slut walked out on me. Me. I made him! Without me he’s just a bag of meat with some mildly entertaining holes.”

Vox had gotten out his phone while Valentino went on his rampage. He felt himself relax just a bit, a small smile coming to his lips as he saw a message from you.

Sorry about leaving early this morning. Star called. Stuff came up. Fixing some roofing. Hate this time of year.

His soft smile though changed from soft to hopeful.

“Angel Dust quit?” he asked.

He was hoping for a yes. You’d be so ecstatic if he finally was able to quit. That was another reason for him to hate the fact that he saved Valentino; the fact that Valentino had a contract neither of you knew about beforehand and under Angel’s contract, he could do whatever he wanted and it would be seen as justifiable.

“No, he didn’t fucking quit. It’s worse.” Valentino grabbed Vox’s phone from his hand and threw it against the wall. “He moved!”

Vox hadn’t even been able to text you back.

“He thinks he can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else? Can you fucking believe that? He thinks he can just run off and shack up with Lucifer’s bimbo daughter.”

“Angel is living with Lucifer’s daughter now?”

You’d be happy to know about that at least.

“Yeah, that bitch. Chalky or Chandler or something manish like that,” he said as he opened up his closet. “She’s got this hotel and— which of these makes me look sexier?”

Anyone else. He would have let the man go in a rampage, break their contract, and discard him if it was anyone but her. Had it been anyone else other than Lucifer’s daughter, Vox would have let him.

“What are you doing, Val?” he asked, venom entering his voice before his eye began to spiral. “You’re not going over there.”

“That slippery twink is going to remember who owns him. I’m going to fuck everyone in that rancid hotel, I swear to god,” Valentino continued, ignoring him.

Vox scowled to himself before he grabbed Valentino’s wings and pulled him close, his face brightening so the man could actually see him.

“Val!” He laughed before he smoothed his wings back into their coat-like shape. “Think about it. My brand is perfection. What do you think chasing whores around town would do for my image?” He grabbed the gun from Valentino’s hand.

“Uh, fuck it up?”

Vox played a game show ringing as he said, “Right! Do you want people thinking I can’t control my employees and that you can’t control yours?”

“No.”

“Exactly! And, hey—“ Vox knew you would hate what he said next— “you still have him under contract. He’s not going anywhere. So, you should. . .?”

“Do nothing?”

“Great idea!” Vox pulled Valentino down into to put his arm around his shoulders as more game show sound effects played. “Now that’s why I pay you the big bucks.”

“But I really wanted to shoot someone,” Valentino said as he pulled out his cigarette. “You never let me have any fun anymore.”

Vox lit the cigarette with the tip of his claw. “Well, let me pull out my wife’s hit list. Let you have a go at some of them, hmm?”

“Aw,” Valentino said with a chuckle, “you know me too well.”

Of course Vox did. He had to. The man was practically a child most days. He constantly questioned how he could have been so stupid as to have let him live. Regardless, it was a choice he now had to live his second life with.

He twisted his wedding ring with his thumb as he summoned a new phone.

Don’t worry about it. Turf wars are always a hassle. I get it and know by now you’re always busy this time of year. We all are. When you get a sec, can you send me some people on your list? Valentino’s being a piss baby again, as Vel so eloquently put it.

“You know, Angel isn’t the only one spending time at this ratty hotel with the devil’s princesa,” Valentino said after taking a draw of his cigarette.

When is he not?

“Oh, who else is there?” Vox asked as he opened the document you’d sent him. “Someone who owes you money?”

Valentino laughed once again. “Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there.”

Vox collapsed on himself as he tensed. His claws dug through the metal of the desk, breaking his phone as he did so. His entire body sparked with electricity.

“What did you just say?” he asked, his voice coming out distorted as he turned to Valentino, his eye spiraling as red pixels began spilling from his mouth.

“You heard me.”

Oh, he was going to kill Valentino, contract be damned.

“Alastor, my wife’s father—“ he glitched— “is back and he is with Lucifer’s daughter instead of his own—“ he glitched again— “and that wasn’t the first fucking thing you told me?!” he pulled Valentino down to his height as sparks flew off his body and his voice raised to a yell.

“Hey, Alastor missing is your problem,” Valentino said as he walked to the computer desk and pressed a button.

A distorted feed came up on the screen. Vox immediately teleported to the desk, leaning as close as he could to make out every detail of the scene.

He could make out the blonde hair of Lucifer’s daughter, the white fur of Angel Dust, and the extra distorted figure that Vox knew from previous videotapes to be Alastor.

He snarled, a full growl come from his mouth. His claws dug all the way through the desk. His breathing started to quicken.

Vaguely, in his subconscious mind, he registered an anger at a different thing. Alastor was torturing someone and he hadn’t told you? He hadn’t invited you? He always had before.

He didn’t even register Valentino’s words. He didn’t find any amusement in the squeaks that came from the man like he normally would. All he could focus on was Alastor walking away from the hotel.

“Vox? Vox!” Valentino called out, finally breaking him from his trance.

“That fucker is back!”

“Yeah, I thought he was gone for good tooAfter seven years!”

“You still pissed he almost beat you that time?” Valentino grabbed the corner of Vox’s screen. Vox pushed him off, still sparking. “Ow!”

“Fuck off!”

Vox’s breath started coming out harshly as he began to spiral.

How was he going to tell you? How dare Alastor? Oh, sure, Vox was the problem. He was trying to steal you from Alastor when it was Alastor who left you for seven years without a word, not even telling you goodbye or where he was going or when he came back.

He hadn’t been there. Did he not know what pain he caused you? The worry, the tears, the depression. You had been a mess those first couple months. Did he not think you would be effected by his sudden disappearance? Was he really, truly that stupid?

“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you’re really this peeved?” Valentino said.

Vox ignored him as he walked out of the room to his own office.

Valentino pouted as he watched the door close. Then he went to pick up Vox’s phone to look at that list only to see the screen cracked and back scratched.

“Fuuuck!” he said as he threw his head back. He picked up his gun that had been left behind as well and shot a hole through the wall.

Vox pulled up your vitals on his screen. You knew he had them. He monitored them as well as your location through the ring on your finger and you had access to his own through the same.

There was a stark difference in how often the two of you looked at them though. Yours got pulled up multiple times a day while his only got pulled up a few times every couple months.

That was alright though. You knew he could be possessive but more than that, you knew how often he worried.

He quickly found and quickly sent a dispatch of construction workers that way before he went there himself.

You didn’t even flinch when he knelt behind you and draped himself over his back. After so many decades, it’d become second nature to know when the other was around. What did concern you was how tightly he held you.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, voice ever so slightly distorted with some filter. “Alone.”

You turned, unafraid of falling off the roof in his grasp. You held his screen between your hands. “What’s wrong?”

You didn’t even have time to blink before you were in the tower with him.

“You said that Hustler came to see you the other day, right?”

“Husk, but yes,” you said. “Is everything okay? Is he alright?”

“Did you ask him why?” Vox asked.

“I— Yes, it was that advertisement. I didn’t have time to look it over. I just gave it to your assistant,” you told him. “He didn’t give me porn or something, did he? That doesn’t sound like him but he said he lost a game, had to be the one to bring it to me.”

“So you didn’t watch the commercial? Neither did I. How about we watch it together, hm?”

“Okay,” you said, the word coming out slowly, hesitantly.

You didn’t sit as he didn’t either. The television just came on.

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!” a woman you vaguely recognized said.

She had white hair done in Hollywood waves that contrasted her grey skin. She wore dress that was somewhat reminiscent of a 50s dress and a large hat with floral elements. Across thAngel Dust in a pink and white suit, wearing pink gloves that he used to blow a kiss to the camera. In front of him was Niffty in a classic flapper dress. Then Husk drinking beside her.

None of that is what caught your attention however. What did was the distorted person beside Husk, back turned to the camera but you recognized him.

Immediately your eyes widened as your nose and eyes began to sting. You bit your lip to contain a scream as your breath began to quicken.

You had mourned him.

You mourned him! You’d done it once in life and now once in death and for what?! Why did you have to mourn him when he was right there?! He was there!

You took off your shoe and threw it at the television. Then did the same with the other. The screen broke, cracked. The TV fell to the floor.

“That bastard!” you yelled. “Fucking shit ass!”

You screamed so loud that is caused Vox to wince but still he wrapped his arms around you. You collapsed against him and banged on his chest. Not enough to hurt him but enough to get out your frustration. He just pulled you closer.

Vark stood in the doorway, looking at Vox. His tail was drooped and he was hunched down. Vox slowly lowered you both to the ground and gestured for Vark to come.

He did. He butted his head against your back. He kept his head against your skin as he moved between the two of you. On instinct, you put your hand between Vark’s eyes and Vox put his right at the base of his spines. Vark moved and licked your face. You didn’t smile like you normally would.

“What do you want me to do?” Vox asked.

You stayed silent for a moment, hand moving back and forth on Vox’s simultaneously rough and smooth skin. Then, “Make him wish he’d stayed gone.”

You stood and went to your wardrobe. Vox followed as you threw a more official outfit on the bed. Then you went to the bathroom and fixed your makeup or rather, tried to. Your hands shook to much for you to do it properly.

Vox picked up your phone and sent a message to Velvette.

Get your ass here now. -V

He didn’t know how to apply makeup but after years of living with two people who did, he at least learned how to take it off.

When Velvette arrived, it was no secret. “What the hell happened here? What the fuck’s going on?”

“The Radio Demon’s back,” Vox said.

“Oh, well, shit,” she said. “Alright then, move aside, Voxy. I’m gonna give our gal some revenge makeup and you go make a script for you stupid show.”

“Top of the hour,” Vox said as he spun in his chair to face the camera, “and we’re discussing a certain hazbin who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven year absence. Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice? More on tonight’s program!”

The headline read, “Dud Dad Back From Getting Milk”

Across the screen, “So the radio guy’s back. I don’t think you noticed. I didn’t at first- I was too busy being present in my wife’s life but fuck it, news is slow today, I guess. I just want to go home to see my beautiful wife and tell her about where I’ve been even though she knows where I am because I tell her about my plans before fucking off.”

“Fucking hell!” Husk yelled, catching the attention of everyone in the hotel.

“Aw, after so many years I can still startle you? How cute,” you said as you leaned your head on your hand with a smirk that immediately made him uneasy.

You were wearing a black cropped turtle neck with a pair of slightly baggy jeans, an oversized jacket that clearly was not yours with its light and dark blue stripes and pinkish-red interior. Your legs were crossed and revealed your heeled black boots. Your hair was down in loose, natural curls but your makeup was anything but with a dark smokey eye and dark nude lipstick.

“Oh, he fucked up,” Husk said as he grabbed a bottle and moved out from behind the bar.

“Um, okay,” the princess said. “Hi, I’m Charlie and you are?”

“Not here for you,” you said as you moved to take Husk’s place behind the bar.

“And who are you here for?” Charlie asked.

The television flickering on gave you no reason to answer her. Instead you mixed a cocktail as all eyes turned to the TV screen.

“So, the Radio Demon is back in town,” Vox said on the screen. “Why’s he hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well, handily I’ve got good news. The guy’s a loser, an absent and I don’t mean to sound arrogant but he’s a really shitty parent. That one’s real apparent.

“He used to go on and on about how I’d be the one gone yet he’s the one who said so long. I’m right here, never fear. I plan on staying even when raining. I’m not afraid of things changing. So if you can’t update, maybe relocate. Go on a va-cay and stay the fuck away.

“He clung onto radio, we pivoted to video. Now his medium has gotten bloody rare. We’ve been better since he split. Where’s he been? Who gives a shit!”

The radio crackled to life. “Salutations, good to be back on the air.”

You took a long sip of your cocktail as you heard his voice for the first time in seven years. The glass nearly cracked in your hands.

“Yes, I know it’s been a while since someone with style has treated Hell to a broadcast. Sinners, rejoice!”

“What a dated voice.”

“Instead of a clout-chasin' mediocre video podcast.”

“Come on!”

“Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure. Going for small blows towards the pros, is it really working?”

“It’s better than your chirping!”

“Every day, he's got a new insult while still thinking everything wrong is his fault.”

“You’re looking at the one who stayed! He’s the one who went away!”

“Is Vox as strong as he purports or is it based on his support? He'd be powerless without that pretty ring.”

“Oh, tell us a new thing!”

“Fine, let’s try something new. I know things you haven’t been through. Nothing you say has any sway. I’ve always been here, never on va-cay. I’m still in charge. Always been here on the charts. So if you’ve got something to say, go ahead then go away. I haven’t got all day.”

“You were gone far too long. She mourned and now she’s scorned. Wished you’d never been born. So why don’t you follow through with this amazing news and tell us what you’ve been through. Better hurry or just scurry ‘cause this picture’s getting blurry. Buffering from our furry. Go ahead and have your say or go away like seven years ago that day.”

The radio clicked off.

Vox stayed panting for a moment, hands gripping the desk tightly. Then his breathing slowed and he sat back down. He restacked his papers.

“Guess he didn’t have much to say so he’s gone and went away. Nothing new. It’s old news. He’s gone once again so soon.”

The television flickered off.

Husk sunk into the couch. Niffty looked over to you with her wide eye. Angel looked down at your ring and then back at you like he was seeing you for the first time. Charlie still stood where she’d been when she came to greet you but she now rung her fingers together.

“Well, I suppose not all broadcasts are a success,” Alastor’s voice said as he came downstairs. “Regardless,” he clapped his hands together then he saw you. “My dear! There you are.”

You simply glared at him as you took a sip of your cocktail.

“Where is that darling smile of yours? You know you’re—“

“Where did you go?”

“Oh, what does that matter? I’m back now, aren’t I?” he said.

“You’re such a,” your voice trailed off as you looked down at your drink. “I cried for you.”

You thought back to late nights as a child where your father held you, whispering about his childhood in the vaguest of ways, making promises to never do you the same way.

“You promised I’d never have to do that,” you said. “You promised me the only reason I’d ever cry for you would be when you died. You’re not dead.”

“You know that my intention would never be to—“

“That doesn’t matter, Alastor!” you said.

His ears actually flicked back. You’d never done that before. You had never called him by his name.

A small part of you as happy with getting a hurt reaction from him.

You threw the glass at him. He didn’t side step it. It hit his newly tailored coat, glass breaking and liquid staining it. He didn’t even flinch.

“Fuck you, Alastor! Fuck you,” you said as you walked out of the hotel, slamming the door.

“I appear to have done something wrong,” Alastor said as he brushed the glass off his clothing, holding back a wince as his hand moved some caught in his skin.

“You think?” Husk said.

Alastor stared at where you had been before he spun around and went back upstairs.

“I’ve never seen her that angry before,” Niffty said softly.

“Yeah, me neither.”

#vox x reader #hazbin vox x reader #one author two show hosts

[laurakinney]

bobby cant go for more than three panels without saying something dumb and the rest of the team cant go that long without telling him to shut the fuck up up its why they work

#i love him lots #but its so fucking funny #read any issue of any comic he is in #and its just #bobby: h #everyone else: if that twink opens his mouth again i swear to god #bobby drake #xmen

[ecoamerica]

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#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

🧍 Wow…. It’s kinda been a hot minute huh??

—🍄—

Indeed, the road was avoid of people and higher level monsters. Mostly some hilichurls or slimes but Childe has been dealing with them without breaking a sweat.

Though… when arriving to the Stormterror’s lair, you don’t know what you had expected. Monster, yes! But ruin guards on every level that you could see of the tower? Not so much. It was intimidating to say the least.

“I should have expected this. They’re literally called ruin guards.”

You sigh and shake your head. This is it. You’re gonna go up there and… and is that a figure on top of the tower? How did they get up there? Were they always there? Wh—

A yelp escapes you as Childe takes you by the waist. He steps back a bit before making a lunge and jump, flying through the air. Swear words leave your mouth as he lands gracefully on the slowly crumbling bridge and making a mad dash away from the ruin guard. Boom, smack, slap, whatever there was he was dealing with it… without letting you touch the floor.

“Put me down.”

No.

“Childe, you can’t—“

The ground is dirty! He isn’t gonna let you down on dirty ground! … that was such a bullshit lie. He just doesn’t want to stop holding you, honestly.

In the end, he sets you down when you’re both behind the wind barrier of the tower. The blue lights dancing as you guys make your way up the tower. It’s mostly silent. I mean— you guys are coming to the end of part one of the journey…

“What if we join the traveler— no… we can’t do that. That’ll mean you’re alive then the Fatui will come for you.”

He whimpers at that.

The fatui? He barely recognizes the meaning but he gets this weird feeling in his chest. Like pain and panic and other emotions he doesn’t like.

“It’s okay… I won’t let them take you from me,” you turn at the waist with a smile. “Not anymore. We’ll get this fixed. We’ll get to live in a cottage. We’ll live our dream together.”

You’ll both be happy… but for now, you’re gonna grumble about the climbing. Because there is no reason why you guys need to climb this entire tower only to get to the top and find out you need to climb more. Which is heavily frustrating you ask the gods when’s your turning point to snap.

So with some more climbing, angy mumbling, and a small teasing laugh from Childe, you find yourself in front of…

“YOU!”

“Oh, hey! It’s you!”

—🍄—

I JUST REMEMBERED THE VENTI RERUN :SCREAMS: I can’t wait

I have all of his and Ayato’s ascension material! I’ve been waiting for his rerun for so long!!

I lost my Kokomi to Jean again but at least I have her C1’d? I guess?? IF I LOSE AYATO OR VENTI TO HER AGAIN I’LL CRY

- 🍄

!!!!!! HELLO WELCOME BACK MY DEAR 🍄 ANON I HOPE YOUR EXAM(S) (can't remember how many you had i'm sorry) WENT WELL!!!

related to THIS post and all its predecessors!!

(also if i interpreted this wrong. i'm so sorry i have like -2 braincells i swear ;-;;)

~ * ~

"YOU!" you point at the green-dressed bard, mouth open in astonishment. you've seen him wandering the outskirts of Mondstadt in the distance, always sure to stay away from him just as you do to everyone else. you've had a few close calls (like that time he knocked on the DOOR OF DAWN WINERY- he was promptly chased off by Diluc) but never encountered him face-to-face. still, you swear you recognize him from Liyue a few times as well, but the most you remember is a green blur moving through the crowds.

and now, he's here, on top of Stormterror's lair, smiling like everything is completely normal. you blink and rub your eyes, still in disbelief. the little green twink just waves at you, seemingly unperturbed at the sight of the Abyssal monster behind you.

"i'm Venti! it's nice to finally meet you in person"

"finally meet me- wait, in person?? have you been watching us??"

"ehe..."

as it turns out, this guy- Venti- has been watching you AND Childe for a while now. apparently Zhongli gave him a tip so he wouldn't "do anything drastic when he saw you entered his nation".

oh yeah, he's also BARBATOS, the Anemo Archon. fantastic. luckily, once you get over your shock and annoyance, he's a decently nice person. unfortunately...

"so you can't help us"

"nope! not with this type of situation, at least. honestly, i'm not sure any of the Archons can help"

you sigh and bury your face in your hands with a groan, Childe whining and gently nudging you at the sight of your irritation. "so we came here for nothing?"

"i wouldn't say that! at least you gained new knowledge...?" Venti blanches at your glare peaking out from between your fingers. Childe follows suit and hisses at him, and Venti hurriedly continues "ah, but there are other people who might be able to help! the Traveler has had dealings with the Abyss, and they're in Mondstadt right now, so..."

your glare deepens, but it's halfhearted at best. "thanks, and they're in the city, right? how the HELL am i supposed to sneak Childe into the city without being spotted?"

"ah, you probably can't. you'll have to leave him behind for a bit"

at the sound of that Childe shrieks and pulls you close, clinging to you and burying his face into your shoulder, shaking his head and trembling. he never wants to be apart from you again, not after the trials you both went through in Liyue, and the thought of being alone in a strange nation makes him whimper as you run your hands through his fluff.

"i guess... we'll figure something out. thanks, Barbatos"

"call me Venti! you'll probably see me again in Mondstadt, ehe! i gotta go, though, so i'll see you soon!" and with that he's gone in a gust of wind, and you groan in exasperation. Childe bumps your shoulder with his forehead again, whining softly, and you resume stroking his fluff and hair.

"well, i guess you're meeting the Traveler again. don't worry, we'll figure something out" you whisper as you run your fingers over Childe's mask-like face, and he rumbles and shuts his eye, holding you in a lose hug.

"...i sure hope"

#genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin tartaglia #foul legacy #foul legacy childe #childe #tartaglia #genshin tartagalia #chit chat #🍄 anon #OOPS THIS GOT LONG #wifi does dialogue what??? omg #DID I INTERPRET THIS RIGHT I HOPE I DID I'M AWFUL AT GUESSING PEOPLE VIA CLIFFHANGERS AAAAA #also what was venti doing in liyue? visiting grandpa zhongli of course #JEAN???? GO AWAY??? GIVE THEM KOKOMI I SWEAR TO GOD #i have at least a few friends who've lost the 50/50 to jean join the jean hate club #aha Childe having abandonment issues aha #ANYWAYS I HOPE THIS IS GOOD SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE #i've been so slow this week istg #other's stuff #short scenario #CONTINUATION #EAGERLY AWAITING RESPONSE #morning call

[dershloop]

Best Friend

“It’s kinda sad really,” Jay said quietly, sighing and looking down at his hands, picking at the dry skin that cursed his knuckles.

“It’s not, Jay. Don’t be so hard on yourself, everyone has a crush on someone,” Kai said, putting a hand on his friend’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Not everyone has a crush on their best friend though,” Jay retorted, his shoulders sagging further, dragging his posture down with it. He closed his eyes and thought for a moment. Just a moment. Imagining what it would be like to actually be held by him, to hold his hand, to smell his cologne, but not just from afar. To smell it right off of his skin. To see him put it on every morning. The cologne he’d bought him. It was weird and borderline creepy, but it was true. He was clear as day in love with Cole.

“You’d be surprised,” Kai muttered, thinking about similar conversations he’d had with Cole, both regarding Jay recently, and Zane in the past.

“You got Zane to go on a date with you though. At least then he liked you back. Me and Cole have been best friends for years now, there’s no way he’d want to be any more than that,” Jay sighed, “I may as well accept it; I am destined to die alone.”

“Ok that’s a bit extreme Sparky, take a breath,” Kai said, his eyes widening at the sudden escalation, “and you really would be surprised,” He said under his breath.

“What?” Jay said, creasing his brow and looking at Kai.

“What?”

“You said something.”

“Yeah to stop being so melodramatic.”

“No after that.”

“I didn’t.” Jay rolled his eyes and looked away, continuing to brood over unrequited love. Kai, however, had a plan.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it, seeing 2 of his best friends moping about assumably unrequited love; so Kai was going to be their cupid. The cupid that was probably going to be kicked in the balls for doing what he was about to do, but a cupid all the same. They’d thank him later. Hopefully.

“It’s been fun and all listening to you cry about Cole for half an hour Jay,” Kai said, standing up and stretching, “But! I have a life outside of your love life or lack thereof so I gotta go. Remember, just before I do go though,” Kai said, just before he opened the door, “Stop assuming things,” He finished, before leaving Jay with a wink and an empty room.

Jay sighed and flopped back onto his bed, staring up at his ceiling. It was an obsession, but not with a movie franchise. If you’re obsessed with a movie franchise or a TV show, people call you a dork and move on. When you’re obsessed with a person, however, people’s attitudes change a little, to say the least. It was taking over his entire being; He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. In reality, he was coming down with something. A sickness that was deadlier than a gun. He had caught a big old case of love and he hated it. 

However, the detrimental thing about most illnesses; you catch them off of someone else.

Kai smiled to himself, walking to the living room where Cole was sat playing some new game he’d gotten himself. What he’d done to deserve a new video game? Truth be told, Kai didn’t know, but he figured it was probably something menial, such as not eating all the cake they had.

“What’re you smiling at?” Cole said, throwing his controller onto the couch next to him in frustration as some small enemy killed him.

“Oh nothing, my dear Coley,” Kai said, picking up the controller and moving it away from Cole, sitting down next to him with the smug grin still plastered on his face.

“Quit it.”

“No.”

“Short-ass i swear I’ll put your phone on top of the refrigerator again if you don’t tell me,” Cole said, reaching over him and snagging his controller back, continuing to play the game.

“Fine, fine I’ll tell you if you’re gonna be like that,” Kai said pouting, “It’s just that a little birdy was telling me all his earthly desires and guess who was on the list?”

“A little… what the hell are you talking about?” Cole said, sparing a quick glance over at his friend who was smirking exceptionally wide.

“You could say, a little blue Jay was telling me his earthly desires. More like pouring his heart out. Jeez, he really does wear his heart on his sleeve,” Kai said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. He was going to make Cole beg him for this answer or he was going to figure it out himself.

“Blue what? I- wait you were talking to Jay? Did he say anything about me?” Cole said, falling off the edge of the world in his game accidentally as all his concentration relating to it evaporated, throwing his controller on the floor and turning to face Kai.

“Not more than a lot.”

“In what way? Was it like ‘he’s a good bro’ or something else?”

“Ah well. You see Coley, I’m under a vow of silence. My lips are sealed,” He said, making the motion of zipping his lips with his hand, locking them and throwing away the key.

“Dude. Stop.”

“No, no Cole I can’t! He told me in confidence, I don’t want to betray his trust.”

“Kai Smith I swear to God I’ll throw you to the never realm if you don’t tell me and you know I could if I wanted to.”

“You wouldn’t and couldn’t.”

“I would and could, you’re a twink and weight like 120 pounds when wet. I could throw you into next week with enough will power so spill the beans.”

“Alright alright, I’ll spill,” Kai said, holding his hands up in mock defeat as if he wasn’t already going to tell him eventually, “He’s totally into you dude.”

“You aren’t fucking with me?” Cole said, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping as a small blush crept into his cheeks and tips of his ears.

“Nah man, I wouldn’t do that,” Kai said shrugging innocently.

“Knowing you, you totally would,” Cole said, creasing his brow suspiciously.

“Nah bro I’d never. That’s a low blow, even for me but I’m being totally serious.”

“Pinky promise?” Cole said, feeling the butterflies in his stomach begin to reemerge and take over his entire being.

“Pinky promise. Now go talk to him, he’s convinced himself he’s gonna die alone so I don’t know if he should be left alone for too long.” Cole just laughed and jumped up, tripping over his controller and stumbling a little as he dashed towards the stairs, practically running up them on all fours. He stood at Jay’s door and composed himself, taking a deep breath and raising his hand to knock.

“Come in!” Jay’s voice rang from the other side of the door. Cole took another breath, the butterflies in his stomach making their way into his bloodstream, causing every part of him to tingle and tense in anticipation.

“It’s now or never Cole,” He muttered, wrapping his hand around the doorknob and twisting it, walking into Jay’s room.

“Oh, hey Cole,” Jay said with a small smile as he sat up on his bed, “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing much new anyway. What’s up with you?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing important anyway,” Jay said with a chuckle, putting his phone down and swinging his legs over the edge of his bed and looking Cole up and down nervously, “Is there something you needed?”

“Huh? Oh! No no, it’s just- I just- Kai was telling me something and I kinda wanted to talk to you about it,” Cole said, his muscles further tensing as he fiddled with his hands, refusing to look Jay in the eyes. He knew if he looked up, Jay would see how red his face had gone. All the confidence he’ had downstiars with Kai was evaporated, he didn’t know what to say. How do you tell someone your friend told them their in love with you and you feel the same? Even further, how do you tell that to your best friend?

“What- What did Kai tell you?” Jay said nervously, his stomach doing a flip and nearly sending the contents of it back out onto his bedroom floor.

“I- well- here’s the thing he told me you- He said you… liked me,” Cole said, squeezing his eyes shut, afraid of what was coming next. He knew he needed to look up at Jay; if he didn’t, he knew he’d construe his actions negatively. Lifting his head up slowly, Jay was sat staring at him dumbfounded, his face a bright shade of pink. He looked like he was about to cry, throw up or both.

“I- well you know how Kai is, talks out his ass a lot so-” Jay said quickly, rubbing the stray tears out of his eyes. He couldn’t believe he’d told him. Kai had told Cole so now he was stood there, in his room, looking insanely uncomfortable and ready to tell him he didn’t want to be friends anymore. Jay could feel his lunch tossing around, threatening to make a reappearance. He couldn’t even feel mad, he just wanted to throw up and cry.

“That’s the thing, I uh- he promised me he was telling the truth,” Cole said, trying his best to smile, albeit nervously at Jay in an attempt to further tell him he wasn’t mad, though it didn’t seem to be working, so he quickly added, “and I- I won’t lie because we’re best friends and have been for years but like if it is true I- I wouldn’t be upset I’d actually be very- quite- pretty happy.” Cole looked down again and squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to hide from his impending doom.

“Wait… Seriously?” Jay said, a fresh batch of tears, happy ones this time, swelled in his eyes.

“Yeah…” Cole said slowly, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting into it until it began to bleed.

“Well in that case… Kai wasn’t lying,” Jay said, standing up and walking towards Cole slowly. Cole looked up and saw Jay moving towards him. He took in a deep breath and smiled, his own eyes pricking with tears. Jay looked in Cole’s eyes and wrapped his hands around his waist, resting his head against his chest.

Cole’s breath hitched, he panicked and lifted his arms slightly, before taking a deep breath and placing his arms over his shoulders and wresting his head on top of Jay’s. He looked up at him. Their faces were very close.

“Jay walker would you like to be my boyfriend?” Cole whispered. His breath was cool and fresh, with an after scent of coffee and what he assumed was chocolate. 

“Cole Brookstone I’d be delighted to be your boyfriend,” Jay said with a smile.

“Would- would you mind if I kissed you?” Cole said, not wanting to overstep any boundaries already.

“Come here you softy,” Jay said, pushing his lips against Cole’s hard and fast. Cole jumped and his eyes shot open in surprise before he slowly sunk into the kiss and moved his hand up to Jay’s face and holding it gently as if it were some priceless artefact. Which it was. To him.

Kai sat smiling smugly to himself. He’d heard the majority of their conversation, he figured as cupid he deserved to know what happened, so not long after Cole had raced upstairs, he’d snuck after and positioned himself near the top step, low enough that no one could see him. Eventually, when he’d realised where the conversation was going and that they seemed to be handling it… decently at best, he made his way back downstairs and had positioned himself back on the couch, smugly grinning at the idea that he’d just made two love birds realise they were into each other. Nice.

“What’re you smiling about?” Zane said cautiously, sitting next to Kai on the couch and taking his hand subconsciously.

“I! Just got Cole and Jay to confess to each other!” Kai said proudly, smiling at Zane as if he’d just cured world hunger. Zane chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Someone had to say something eventually. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people pinning so hard and so obviously but neither of them notice. It’s crazy to think it didn’t happen sooner.”

“You do realise I tried dropping so many hints to you that I liked you right? But you were too boneheaded to pick up on any of those hints,” Kai said, raising his eyebrows with a laugh.

“In my defense you are also incredibly boneheaded, and those ‘hints’ you’re talking about could have been construed in anyway so stop it,” Zane said, looking over at Kai.

“Good thing you’re moronsexal,” Kai said softly, moving his face closer to Zane’s.

“It’s a good thing I am, I don’t know how I’d deal with you otherwise,” Zane said softly back, lifting a hand to Kai’s cheek and cupping it softly, pressing their lips together, closing his eyes.

All is right in the world, Kai thought as he kissed Zane, their bodies getting closer, any kind of distance between them was too much. To make it even better, he knew full well Cole and Jay were probably doing the exact same thing in Jay’s room.

#bruise #bruiseshipping #cole/jay #jay/cole #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago zane #ninjago jay #ninjago jay walker #bruise fics by zan #oppositeshipping #opposite #zane/kai #kai/zane #ninjago kai smith #ninjago zane julien #ninjago kai #ninjago cole #ninjago cole brookstone

[whyaretheyfictionalcharacters]

Kinktober - Day 5

Ok so, second Sterek instalment. Good stuff.

Originally posted on AO3.

xoxo Lexi

“I don't think anyone is really taking this seriously”, Stiles comments, stepping over a tree trunk with the same grace Derek has just showed. Exactly the same. He flays around his arms a tid bit but apart from that? They could be mistaken for the same person.

Derek twists around and goes to help him. “Are you?”.

“Well, considering who thought about this you're damn right I am”.

The treasure hunt was Lydia's idea, a way to build in-pack relationships and create a more stable net of connections among them. If Stiles thinks her intention was to simply prove again to everyone else who's the smartest in the pack—he's certainly not going to tell anyone, he's not suicidal. And that's exactly the same reason he's taking this (honestly a bit ridiculous) relationship building exercise seriously. Or as seriously as he can take it, anyway.

“Lydia scares you?”.

“Of course she does! Doesn't she scare you?”.

“Oh, I'm terrified of her”, Derek answers with a frown. “And she's tiny”.

Stiles laughs, dried leaves crunching underneath his sneakers. “Don't let her hear you”.

“She's not a werewolf”. A small shrug. “Jackson is the only one around and he's at least a mile away”.

As they walk in silence, the only noise around them being their footsteps thudding on the ground, Stiles finally finds some appreciation for the quietness of the preserve. Being here with Derek, letting their shoulders and fingers brush against each other after the messy few weeks they've had with threats in the supernatural world feels comfortable and surreal. And probably it's his leftover-teenage hormones speaking but he can't wait for this treasure hunt to end so Derek and he can run off to his room and blow off some steam. Or blow off something else. That does sound like a plan.

His dad would not come back until later that night, probably after dinner, and that'd give them – Stiles calculates quickly in his mind – five hours to get funky, to jelly roll. Scrog a bit and schtupp together. To take old one eye to the optometrist. To play hide the salami. To dip Derek's cookie in Stiles glass of milk. Numerous times, if the werewolf's refractory period gives any clue. They could start small; make out on Stiles bed and test the sturdiness of the frame – which they've already done, by the way and sneaking out a broken bed slat out of the Sheriff's home is not as easy as it might sound. Which doesn't sound easy. At all. So one can only imagine the uncomfortable conversation he's had to have with Mrs Wunderby from across the road – and then get rid of their clothes because Stiles is a selfless person and Derek's body is something that needs to be cherished and admired. Keeping it clothed would be like...like clipping wings off of a mighty eagle. Or shut down the Smithsonian. It'd have that much of a cultural backfire. It'd be immoral.

So Stiles would take Derek's clothes off and admire that chest of his, all wide and muscly and warm and furry in a sexy way. He'd dip his hand down to follow the line of hairs to his navel, go over it and open his jeans because if unclothing Derek's chest is a cultural aid for the entire state of California, than the sight of his cock is a spiritual experience.

Derek Hale is big. Not impossibly big – Stiles is sure he doesn't live in one of those ridiculous stories people read with enhanced and horse-sized dicks – but nevertheless he's...gifted. Must have something to do with those werewolf genes of his and if that's the case, dear Mother Nature, wolves are a gift to them all. What turns on Stiles though it's not just the size of his shaft – still has a pretty high place in the list of 'Reasons why Derek Hale is a gift from the gods and Stiles is grateful he's his boyfriend' – it's the utter difference there is between the two of them. And that's not a euphemism about his own cock, Stiles is pretty content with his genitals, no complaints there. No, that's not it at all.

Stiles still remember when he recognised what the issue was and he probably has to thank Erica for that.

“You're such a twink, Stiles”, she had said once during their weekly coffee meetings and Stiles has seen enough gay porn after his surprising epiphany in high school to know what a 'twink' is. He's not oblivious, or his name would've been Scott McCall.

He had tried to deny that in front of his salted caramel frappuccino but as usual Erica had her own arguments. “You are, Stiles. You and Derek are literally the epitome of a bear-twink relationship”.

And God, was she right.

The werewolf might be only slightly taller than him but his presence is mightier, his shoulders wider and his arms definitely bigger. Stiles always feels dwarfed every time he's in close proximity with Derek and he does not complaint about that. Not. One. Bit. Dude can pick him up without breaking a sweat and fuck him against the wall as if he weighted less than a baked potato with bacon sprinkles on top. Jeez, those are good times. Hot times. As in Death Valley hot.

“Stiles”.

Surely they can do something like that today. There are so many options to spend five hours sexing up a werewolf Stiles gets a bit dizzy sometimes: this is literally his teenage dream, with no skinny jeans on and a comfy mattress instead of bedsheets forts in a motel room. Take that Katy Perry.

“Stiles”.

“What? Whassup?”, he asks turning to look at Derek.

Who is currently staring angrily at him. He seems pretty pissed actually, if Stiles has to tell the truth. Unfortunately he thought he had left all those annoyed stares and growled words in the past so this is turning out to be a shocking turn of events. In a not-so-sexy way.

“Uhm...Der? Everything okay?”.

Green eyes seems to struggle to not turn bright blue, flashing dangerously between the two shades. “Where's your head at?”.

Okay, this does seem like a trick question. Lydia taught me about this sort of things. “On my...shoulders?”.

Derek does not seem impressed. “You smell—you're stinking up the place”.

“Oh. Sorry”, he mutters self-consciously.

He thought Derek liked his smell. Sometimes he also finds him with his face deep into his own pillow when he comes back from the bathroom after Derek spends the night; or he would dip his nose along Stiles' neck while they're watching a film on the were's laptop in his apartment. When they're in public and Stiles thinks about sexy-times-ensuring things Derek always can smell him and he gets this intense expression that almost resembles his old…

Oh. Oh.

“Oh”.

“Yeah”, Derek agrees tightly as he steps forward. “Oh”.

“I think—I think my head is not taking this, uh. This treasure hunt as seriously as before, big guy”.

One step forward. “Really now?”.

“Mmh-mm”. Stiles steps back. “I mean. Can you blame me?”.

“I don't know. We were just talking about Jackson”. Another step.

Urgh. “Let's not mention him, deal?”. Last step backwards and Stiles' back hits the thick trunk of a tree. “I really don't wanna think about him and sex together. That's just plain wrong”.

He can see a gleam of amusement and coyness as Derek stops in front of him, face just inches away from Stiles'. “Oh, is that what you were thinking about? Sex?”.

“Uh, duh. I was thinking about, you know, when this stupid treasure hunt is other and we can go back to mine and the fact that my dad is going to be out for at least five hours – I know, I counted them – and we could, you know. Get some stankie on hang down—”.

“God, Stiles”. Derek's face scrunches up horrified. “No”.

“No? You don't like that? Okay, how about I ride your flagpole?”.

“Stiles”.

“Storm the cotton gin”.

“Stiles”.

“Hit a home run”.

“Stiles”.

“Sorry!”, he says with a small smile at Derek's exasperation. “Thought you'd appreciate the baseball reference. But another thing I was thinking was—”.

Derek glares at him. “I swear to God, Stiles. If you say one more—”.

“—you said Jackson is at least a mile away and we're all alone now”. Stiles looks down bashfully and hooks his finger in Derek's waistband. “And who knows when this awful thing is going to end. Might not have time when we get home”. Looking up from under his eyelashes he smirk a bit. “We could save time and...do this. Now. Here”.

 He sees a shiver running up Derek's arms just before they're placed on the tree caging his head. “You want to do it here?”.

“Yes”, he whispers.

“Now?”.

“Yeah”. A breath and a whimper.

He has enough time to think about the possibilities when a mouth descends on him and sharp, human teeth bite his lower lip, pulling reverently before nipping it. Stiles gasps when Derek's body presses up against his through the many, too many layers of clothes they're currently wearing. Derek takes that opportunity to slip his tongue between the other's lips, teasing the wet muscle and probing the mouth with deep, hungry movements.

“Lydia's—shit. Lydia's going to be so angry”, Stiles weakly comments before moaning as Derek's hips press against his, trapping him between his warm, strong body and the cold trunk behind him.

“Do you care?”.

“Fuck no”.

He snakes his hands underneath Derek's t-shirt, revelling in the heat of his olive skin, the softness of his hairs and the hardness of his muscles. One of the wolf's thighs gets between his own, providing some blessed friction for Stiles' awakening cock. He rubs himself against Derek, feeling the need to open his legs for him and the sensation of emptiness is starting to get too uncomfortable to be ignored as they're kissing. He's never been an exhibitionist (he thinks, though he's discovering all kinds of kinks in his relationship with Derek) but the idea of having the wolf inside him, right here and now in the middle of the preserve with the afternoon light out still, the terrifying possibility of the pack finding them out—it seems to be exciting in all the wrong ways.

“Derek”, he sighs, lips sensitive from beard burn. “I need—God—I need you to—to fuck me. Like. Yesterday”.

Derek's mouth descends on his neck and at the deep inhale of his arousal Stiles shivers, feeling like the teenager he used to be five years ago. “We don't have anything”.

AH! With a dramatic flourish – probably more ridiculous than dramatic. If only that Sourwolf would stop doing what he was doing with his mouth on his ne—oh. Oh, that's nice – Stiles takes out his phone from his back pocket and slips off the case. “Speak for yourself”. The small packet of KY seems to shine in their eyes, a little lost treasure, their own small miracle. “I think I have a rubber in my wallet as well”.

“Have you always had lube inside your phone case?”, Derek asks with a shocked expression. “And do we need a condom?”.

“Don't want to leak all over my underwear. Especially not around a pack of werewolves, thank you very much”. Stiles takes out a wrapper from his wallet and hands it to Derek before he resumes touching underneath the other's shirt. “And the answer is yes. From the moment we've started dating”.

They kiss, lips open and sharing breath. “Nice to know”.

“We need to—god—”. An aimed thrust sends shivers up his legs. “Derek—we need to move”.

He gets one of his hands down, slipping in the tight fit of Derek's jeans and the hard, big cock he touches through his underwear makes him moan and spread his legs as he leans back to push his hips outward. Stiles has touched it an endless number of times yet every time seems like a new experience, a new discovery.

At Stiles' touch Derek exhales, relieved and aroused. Those lean, slender fingers massage his cock with experienced motions and the grip they use after teasing it into full firmness is heaven for Derek's spurred mind. It doesn't matter if they're in the middle of the woods with a pack of werewolves only a mile away and probably listening in, the Beta can't help but await impatiently to be inside Stiles body and thrust into that heated tightness in abandonment. Maybe there's a part of him – the wild wolf that seems to constantly seek out freedom and nature – that is turned on exactly by that fact; the possibility of being found out while collecting his prize and marking his territory, his mate in the open.

The moment their jeans are undone and their erections brush against each other, Derek grabs Stiles slim hips and turns him quickly but not violently, his cheek now resting on the roughness of the bark and ass pushed back to rub on the wolf's cock. There's only their erratic panting for what feels like ages as Derek rips the lube open and then, “God, Der—Fuck me already”.

“I'm not gonna hurt you, Stiles. Especially not out here”.

“Then shove your fingers in me!”, he cries out turning at an odd angle to plead the wolf with his eyes. “Please, I need you inside. Right now. Please”.

Derek wants that. Oh, he so wants that. And from around that pale, sinewy body he can see Stiles' red dick skim slightly against the trunk of the tree. It can't be comfortable nor pleasurable and even though Stiles seems to have other things in his mind, Derek pulls his hips back a bit more to put more space between the delicate part and the pine husk. He doesn't spend much time warming up the lube and the moment his forefinger touches the puckered hole in front of him he sees Stiles jerk up before quickly settling down again. He prepared him as swiftly and efficiently as standing in the preserve half-naked would allow, Stiles moans and whimpers accompanying each thrust of his fingers.

“Please. Please, just fuck me. Just fuck me, Der”.

Through his lust-fogged mind Stiles hears Derek opening the condom wrapper and sigh deeply as he rolls it on. He wants to reach behind him and touch his shaft, feel the girth of it and its size. Wrap his fingers around it and when noticing he can't fit it all in one hand envelope it with his other one as well. He wants to feel its thickness opening him up, make him almost worry he's gonna split in two.

The first few inches are painful, they always are: Derek might not be overworldly big but he's certainly packing down there and every time he slips inside Stiles needs to relax, bear down and bite his lip until the head is in. It's what happens now, particularly because it's not the most convenient place to have sex despite the packet of lube and the arousal he gets from being so exposed to the elements. After the head is in though...that's when Stiles can remind himself why he craved it so much in the first place. Derek is inside him balls deep and at Stiles' nod he starts to move, thrust in and out. In and out. It's slow at first, careful but they do need to be quick in this situation. The aim is a bit off, the head of the hard cock pounding him simply caresses his prostate in the most heavenly torture sending abortive shivers up from his toes, shocking through his hips and reaching the tip of his own erection like an electric shock. Each thrust, each withdrawal forces moan after moan from his mouth, noises he can't control. Mumbling reaches his ears and with a small sense of amazement he notices it's him.

It's not the best sex they've had but Jesus if it's not the hottest. Derek's hand gripping his hips in a tight hold, his puckered hole contracting around the fat shaft sliding inside and out of him in pure abandonment. Derek slides closer, t-shirt covered chest shaping around Stiles' back, and the slight change of angle causes the wolf to groan in the brunet's ear. It's a sound so primal, so inborn in Derek that Stiles needs to close his eyes not to come right in that moment.

He's so close, though. So close. After getting used to Derek being inside of him without a barrier the rubber desensitises the feeling of being fucked a bit but it's not totally unpleasant; it's smoother and easier. Stiles doesn't know if it's the build-up, the idea of being out here in the forest in broad daylight or Derek's fat, big cock beating into him but he's about to come. He spreads the legs as wide as he can manage with the jeans around his knees and he almost brings his hands back to grab his cheeks and expose himself even further. He doesn't. He needs an anchor and right now the roughness of the bark on his fingertips, under his nails is the thing that keeps him grounded.

“Oh, my God. Der—Derek. Oh, God. Fuck me. Please, fuck me”.

“I am. Shit. You're gripping me so tight”.

“What if—oh, fuck. What if they see us? What if they find us?”.

Stiles senses Derek breath itch next to his ear. “Let them. You're mine. Let them see”.

Oh. My. God. Possessiveness is certainly a kink he didn't know he had. “Say that again”.

“You're mine. Let them see, I don't care. I want them to see. I want them to see you're mine”.

Oh God. Oh God, oh Godohgodohgod.

The orgasm hits him like a blinding light. His back snaps and he arches with the force of it, his cock pulsating and trembling as his cum sprays white on the dark bark. It's seemingly artistic in an erotic way. His insides constrict around Derek and through the condom he can feel his rod vibrate as his thrust become irregular. Slower. Deeper. He misses the sensation of Derek's come hitting his walls but he guesses they still have five hours if they leave now.

“Derek—shit”, Stiles pants out after they both regain their breaths, cheek still against the tree and hips still held by Derek.

“Yeah”.

“Who would've thought? Public sex is hot”.

“What the fuck guys?!”.

They both jump at the disgusted shout from behind them, Isaac currently standing there dumbstruck, hand on his eyes. “I'm gonna need bleach”.

Yeah. Maybe not as hot around a pack of werewolves.

#kinktober #kinktober 2020 #kinktober2020 #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #stiles #derek #stilesxderek #stiles x derek #derekxstiles #derek x stiles #fanfic #fanfiction #fandom #teen wolf #tw #poor isaac #teen wolf fanfic #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fandom #tw fanfic #tw fanfiction #tw fandom #ao3 #archive of our own #archive of my own #originally posted on ao3 #whyaretheyfictionalcharacters #smut

[yamithediaperdork]

Forgotten Stories 3: Baby hunter and Daddy vampire (you guessed it, Mortal Instruments)

jace signed softly as he waited at the cafe. He was annoyed something fierce as the former mundane turned vampire Simon had flat out SUMMONED here to the late night dinner, saying that they NEEDED to talk. Jace, who had better things to do, and money to make was understandably vexed and as he sipped on the black crud that this greasy spoon dared to call coffee, he mumbled to himself. "Swear to god, if it's more of my blood he's after.." the shadow hunter grumbled, then set the coffee down and reached once again for the sugar, pouring more into the crud. "How the hell do you not have diabetes?" Came the amused tone of the vampire and jace just rolled his eyes. "you know,. just because you're immortal and can drink anything doesn't mean the rest of us are. i have to make this drinkable SOMEHOW." the blond shot back and then nodded to the seat across from him. "Now you wanna tell me why I'm here instead of doing better things with my time? I'm not giving you more blood..or gum wrappers." jace smirked at that as Simon narrowed his eyes, taking a seat. "ohhh wow, soo witty. I was a rat for a few hours years ago. get over it. and besides, in terms of embarrassing things.. i think you've more then topped me being turned into a rat." Simon said and gave a big smirk. "what ever you think you've found-" Jace started to say, but even as he spoke he was getting a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach and then Simon pulled out a tablet, which was already on a certain naughty boys mycam page. Jace's to be exact. "..So did i ever tell you I have a twin brother wh-" "Bull.shit.diaper boy." Simon said and then pressed play on a video.

the video came to life and there was jace, at a playground. it was late at night and he was wearing a trench coat but was smiling into the camera. "Sup my peeps? this is your boy Stinky J and thanks to a generous cash gift from daddy V, yours truly is about to go and take a epic dump in his huggies, and go and play. remember, if you got the money and have a idea, PM me and you can see my cute twink ass doing all sorts of degrading things. don't forget to like and comment." Jace said, dropping the tench coat and revealing that he was only in a paw patrol pull up under the jacket. Turning around and slapping his butt, the blond demon slayer poped a squat and audible grunting could be heard and then with a MASSIVELY loud fart and a sign of relief the the back of the pull up expanded rapidly, puffing out and discoloring as Jace coo'ed in content. "Mannn that feels better.. though whew..y'all should be thankfully you can't smell this!" the blond brat teased, waving a hand and then waddled slowly (clearly making a effort not to let his hot load spill out of the poor pull up) towards the slide. "heh, what do you think folks? time to slip sliding? ..yeah thats what i thought too~" climbing up the ladder it was hard to make out his face from the distance he was at and then the big stinky baby plopped down on his butt (a oh fuck! and gasping heard) and then the big baby was sliding down the slide and-

Grabbing the tablet Jace turned the video off and was beet red, looking down at the table. "...Ok what do you want?" Jace asked. "What i want,for starters, is for you to stop using the money I send you to get stupid pull-ups when i clearly state diapers." Simon said and smirked as Jace looked up at him in confusion, the realization. "Y-Your daddyv!" "Ding ding ding! thats right, you've been a poopie pull up baby brat for a vampire the past three months. i wonder just how much trouble you'll be in when your little clubhouse finds out not only are you a diaper pooping big baby. but a vampires bitch too~" Jace whimpered, it was going to be humiliating enough if anyone else found out about his naughty way to make extra money. add in he was doing it for vamp.. this was NOT going to be good. "L-Look..I already spent the money if you want it back an-" Jace started and Simon cut him off with a sharp laugh. "what makes you think I need your money? I've been the one spoiling you remember dip shit?" Simon snorted. Jace huffed and actually started to pout a little at that. "awww look at it this way..at least I'm not a mundane anymore. that would make what I'm gonna make you do to shut me up even more humiliating for you." Simon added cheerfully. "...should I be worried?" jace asked with a gulp. "terrified." Simon confirmed with a shit eating grin.

half a hour later and there were at a old warehouse that was boarded up on the outside but Simon flew himself and jace in though a window where.. a makeshift nursery was set up among the ruins. "...this is going to suck even more then i thought huh?" jace asked faintly. "well if nothing else, you're more then free to use this for your videos." Simon snickered and then winked. "maybe I'll even be your camera man too." "pretty sure i'ma stop doing the videos after this." jace huffed. "You say that now.." was all Simon would say on the matter, leaving jace even more worried. "now then, who's ready to be put back in a good diaper for a change, not a pull up that'll leak the second you putt too much pressure on it?" Simon asked, going over to by the changing table he had set up in the ruins and grabbing out a stupidly thick and massive diaper that instead of the normal designs one would expect on it.. had diaper fag in baby block letters all over it. "..That has to be a custom job." jace whined and pointed. "No shit Sherlock." Simon chuckled. "Clearly you are the brains of your outfit." "you don't have to be a jerk you know." jace whined, starting to tug his jeans and undies down and Simon laughed again, "really? YOU of all people giving someone hell for being rude?" Jace paused and gave a sheepish smile. "well when you put it like that.., god.. am I even gonna be able to WALK in that thing?" Jace asked, naked from the waist down and shaved bald down there. "Fuck no. but you'll be able to crawl and get on your knees, which is what i want." Simon said and smirked, showing off his fangs. "...I'm gonna be sucking your dick aren't I?" "Awww who's a clever little baby? you are!" "look i uh.. I don't know if-" "oh don't try and tell me you haven't been slurping on Alec's dick like a greedy cock slut for the past year. just about everyone knows you're his cum dumpster." "W-what!? I am not!" jace squeaked and had a full body blush going on as Simon walked over and swatted his cute cheeks, leaving the shadow hunters buns slightly red. "ah ah ah..No lying." "I-I really don't suck Alec off..he uh.." jace's voice trailed off and looking down at the ground, and poking too fingers together, he finished in a tiny voice. "I..I pay him to fuck me.." "oh? don't you think he'd do it if you asked nicely?" "I..uh.. he said he would for free but I uh..asked if i could.." jace trailed off again as Simon started to laugh. "oh my god, your a total bottom bitch! begging to pay for the privilege of getting that cock.. you know i thought you were just shitting yourself in diapers rto buy booze or whatever.. not degrading yourself in public so you can get that dick!" Simon laughed. "Does alec at least give you a cum dumpster discount?" "D-Depends on his mood...c-can i get put the diaper on and suck you off already and get this over with!?" Jace whined and huffed. "...awfully demanding for a diaper shitting butt slut aren't you? you know..i was gonna make you shit yourself before sucking me off.." "...i'm not going to like where this is heading am I?" "Normally i'd say no..but with what a fucking bottom bitch you are you'll likely be creaming your huggies." Simon said.

the alternative to Jace loading his pampers was worse then he had thought, and after getting onto the opened diaper fag diaper, he'd had to watch as Simon gave himself a mild enema. "you know your fucking disgusting right?" jace whined, on the verge of tears as Simon pulled the tub out of his ass and walked over. "right. i'm gonna listen to someone who bounces up and down in shitty diapers for money to get fucked into submission on whats normal and whats not. though don't think i didn't notice all those silver scars on your ass.. does alec just wreak your hole so much you have to heal or need diapies full time?" Simon asked, squatting over Jace's cock and balls now. "Oh my god will you just shut up and do it already so i can suck your stupid dick and get out of here!?" Jace yelled. "alll right, but you know you just ASKED me to shit on you right?" "All of my fucking hate." "love you too." Simon grunted and as jace looked, tears welling up in his eyes, a thick brown log snaked out of Simon's ass and as the tip of it touched Jace's cock, his cock started to go limp and the tears were flowing. "S-Simon please! stop! I do-" he started to sob and simon just smirked. "Shut up diaper baby. it's going in your diaper or down your throat." Simon said and jace just blubbered. the hot shit coiled around his crotch before it broke off and the smell was horrible, making jace hold his nose. "Awww whats wrong, the stinky baby can't take a REAL MAN'S funk?" Simon teased and bore down, pushing out anther thick log and shifting slightly, making sure this would coat the baby fags balls. the third and forth logs didn't go on baby jac'es cock and balls though, it went right into the diaper so it was squish all over the big babies back side and jace had to give up holding his nose as he needed to suck his thumb and close his eyes to keep from just getting up and trying to bolt. "awww, such a sad widdle diaper boy~ don't worry buddy, Daddy Simon is almost done getting your diapie nice and stinky for you, then you can have a cock baba." simon teased. jace just whimpered. finishing up with his smelly load, Simon grabbed jace's boxers and used them to wipe his ass, giving jace a look that dared him to open his mouth to complain then tossed them in a diaper pail and stepped clear of the dumb baby fag. leaning down simon made a face and waved a hand, then grinned to jace. "whew! no more tacos for me! thats rotten huh buddy?" simon teased and the dumb baby just sucked on his thumb and nodded, then whined loudly as the diaper was taped up. helping jace roll onto his tummy and then get up on his hands and knees, Simon then patted and rubbed the back of the loaded diaper, making baby Jace whimper even more but any and all fight was clearly out of the former big shot. "D-Daddy pwease..cock baba." the stupid little diaper wimp whined. "Awww you wanna show daddy how grateful you are he 's letting you see how it feels to wear real man shit huh?" Simon teased. Knowing what the sadistic vampire wanted him to say, jace whined, then nodded. "yesh daddy. pwease wet stinky jace suck your dicky to say fank ku." he whined and despite how much he hated the load in his diaper, hated simon, hated all of this., jace was getting wood. 'whats wrong with me!?'

Simon took a seat far enough away that jace's knees got a little scraped up crawling over, and the crawling he was forced to do only squished the mess around even more but then he was on his knees and looking at Simon's 6 inchs of fuck meat. it wasn't as big as Alec's (hell, Jaces was sure there were horses who weren't as hung as Alec) but the fact that he was going to suck anther mans dick while wearing his shit just had the poor bottom bitch in total sub mode and he leaned forward and planted a big sloppy kiss on the cock head as Simon moaned. Opening his mouth he took the vamp cock in slowly, worried about gagging till the whole thing was in his mouth, going down his touge and he had a nose full of musky pubes. the taste..wasn't so bad as as jace pulled his head back, trailing his touge and making Simon moan he almost, maybe kinda, found himself loving the taste. Pushing back down a little more eagerly the blond bitch started to bob his head up and down the fuck meat with eagerness and Simon reached down and ruffled jace's hair. "Fuck..fuck..good boy Jace. I knew you'd love this.. just a little fucking diaper fag.. Fuck..I'm gonna have you in diapers 24/7..just a total fucking diaper bitch for my amusement." Simon was groaning and jace in his horned up state moaned around the vamp cock. "Fucking knew you'd like that..Not gonna out you to your widdle friends but you're gonna be my little diaper bitch from now on..Mine. and you're not healing your ass next time Alec breeds you either..i want you helplessly shitting yourself while hunting demons." Simon was panting now, regretting the fact that he had edged all day to the thought of what he was going to do to jace and knew he couldn't last too much longer. "Gonna fucking dress you like a toddler and take you to the park in the day. let all the kids see you in your t-thick massive diapers..L-let them spank you.." Simon added and then noticed that jace was reaching back, mushing the mess around in his poofy diaper while worshiping his new daddies cock. "Ha! knew you'd love my shit! Get ready baby boy, time for you first of MANY loads of daddy milk!" jace pulled back and with just the cock head in his mouth, reached around jerked Simon's cock hard. he didn't know why but he felt like he NEEDED to taste full on all of the vampire boys load and wasn't disappointed as Simon's cock erupted all over his touge, filling his taste buds with the taste of real man cum. as the last few ropes of nut juice fired off, causing some to start to leak out of Jace's nose, the stupid big baby came hard in his poopie diaper and collapsed, whimpering and moaning. Simon smirked and after making sure that jace was fully out, turned his attention over to a corner of the room, where a webcam was set up. "well everyone, thanks for watching! hope you all enjoyed seeing me use this shadow slayer as a diaper bitch cum dumpster and don't forget to like the video and comment on other things you wanna see me do to him. this is daddy v signing off." he said. After all, why should Jace be the only one to make a little cash on the side?

the end..for now.

[maddgarbagemonkey]

DEAR EVAN HANSEN 2018 TOUR THINGS THAT MADE ME CRY

Yep. Back at it again with this nonsense. I saw this show back in November and needed to frantically rant about how much of a MASTERPIECE it is and how in love I am with every single tour cast member. Buckle-up dorks and get ready to read a novel. Its gonna get pretty out of order so yeah, and obviously, SPOILERS for Dear Evan Hansen ahead. :)

So it opens and a bunch of live feed from multiple social media accounts appear on the monitors and screens surrounding Evan's bed and they make little beeping noises whenever there's something new and it was super cool and immersive.

I took like 2000 pictures of Evan's red bed and all of them turned out blurry but I will cherish every single one of them.

The classic Evan rant about sweaty hands and ordering food will forever be my eternal monologue. Ben also said that line so fast I was amazed that he didn't lose his breath and suffocate!

"Ohhh... Good." B A B Y

Heidi (Jessica Phillips) is my M O M. I love her and Cynthia's harmonies were superb.

Ok fam. Real talk. Ben Levi Ross. Best human 2019. Superior to every other person on this planet and I am unafraid of saying so.

I think a lot of people, including me, went into the touring show thinking "That Ben Levi Ross is cute, but I don't see how he could possibly compare to Ben Platt" STOP! STOP THAT NOW! THAT'S NOT OKAY! Because I can swear to you that his performance was one of the greatest things I've ever witnessed in my entire life and I cried so so very hard whenever he opened his mouth.

Not only should actors NEVER be compared to one another (as they are all their own people with their own incredible talent) but Ben's singing and performing was BEYOND WORDS! You could tell immediately how much of himself he put into Evan and did not doubt for a second that he should be up there instead of anyone else. His singing was so powerful and moving that I physically began shaking and did not stop until I left the theater, which Ben himself even acknowledged but more on that later. He was so incredibly talented it was unreal and I just wanted to take a second and say that he deserved every single moment of applause and cheering times a million. I need a recording of him singing Waving right now. BEN LEVI ROSS, GUYS!!!1!!!

oof, anyways his "Waving Through a Window" killed me. I'm dead. Gorgeous boy. Beautiful.

The way everyone's harmonies mix together and hit you in that song are phenomenal.

Jared, played by Jared Goldsmith, had such a squeaky highschooler voice and the biggest, doofy-est smile which made his stupid comments so much better. I loved him a lot. 10/10. Classic Jared.

Also, I would die for Marrick Smith.

Marrick, A.K.A. Connor was so good at being a broken teenager it hurt! I loved him a lot.

It also opened my eyes because... how do I say this without sounding weird... BOI HE THICK!

Marrick was so tall and swol and gorgeous and sweet and I love him and that's my TedTalk. It also created such a strong physical contrast between Connor, who was tall and strong and scary who processed his emotions through anger outbursts, with Evan, who was skinny and small and shrunk into himself and processed his emotions through hiding or running away, in a way that Ben Platt and Mike Faist couldn't really do. It was different in a good way and I really liked it! :)

Y'all can take Stronk Connor and Skinny Twink Evan out of my cold, dead hands.

In the cast signing scene, Connor was overly friendly and smiley which made the point where it all slowly fades into anger at "You wrote this because you knew that I would find it" so much worse.

The little tug on Ev's arm followed by a subtle "Ow" before signing. <3

"I LoVE JaZZ!"

I love the way Evan sits in chairs by taking up as little space as possible! Its such a cool detail to demonstrate Evan's social anxiety and his need and want to not take up too much space.

I just need to take a second to squeal about Phoebe Koyabe, who played Alana, because she had gorgeous pink hair and I was just all around in love with her voice and her quirky little Alana characteristics.

Here's where things are a bit out of order and blurred because I wrote down my favorite things and then instantly lost the paper so... this is all from what I rewrote later on.

During that line where Alana retaliates to Evan accusing her of using the Connor project for her college application, she became completely hysterical and began crying. That "because I know how it feels to be forgotten" will always be my weak point.

"Connor was OBSESSED with trees!"

"We were partners for our Literature class while reading Huck Finn. He was so funny! He came up with this funny joke where he'd say, well, instead of Huck Finn.... nobody else in our class thought of that!"

OH MY GOD ZOE!

Zoe, played by Maggie Mckenna, was so incredible and loveable it was insane.

Her voice was so deep and melodic that just listening to her speak made you want to curl up with a blanket and just be comfortable. She was also so expressive and good at delivering her lines that you felt and understood exactly what she was going through whenever she spoke. I loved her so much and can relate with Evan's sentiments in "If I could tell her!"

"That's just what you do when you're rich and don't have a job, you get crazy!"

That entire scene before "If I could tell her" was so good! She was so snarky and sarcastic with every line and I fell way more in love with Zoe. I love when she's not played as the angel love interest and more of a real character with flaws and feelings and emotions and Maggie's portrayal really solidified that for me! I love this little Jazz band brat!

I also need a recording of Maggie's requiem, it was beautiful!

There was this heartbreaking moment in that song where Zoe looked at and read through Connor's emails and held them close, but at "That you were not the monster," she crumbled it up into a ball and let it fall to the ground, covering up all her sadness with anger and it hurt me.

That song just hurt a lot all around. Cynthia, Larry, Zoe. Just all of it, all of their God-tier harmonies. All.

You'd also be glad to know that Zoe's star-covered jeans were in full view the whole time along with the ones on her sneakers.

There was this adorable moment in the scene before "Only Us" where Evan freaks out because he thinks Zoe's gonna break up with him and he screams and promises he won't start breaking things and Zoe just has to stop him like "no, you tree-loving twink, I'm not breaking up with you!" And Evan just stands there for a second and then does this sweet thing where he awkwardly bends down and grabs her hands and shakes them with a little "thank you." Then Zo copies his little hand thing as responds "Don't mention it!" They're so cute together and lovable it hurts! Hopefully nothing bad happens between them...

During Disappear, Connor started jumping on Evan's bed during "And even if you've always been-" and it was glorious and Evan just regarded it as a normal occurrence.

They also did this thing where they ran on opposite sides of the stage and then rejoined in the middle where Connor helps Evan put on his backpack and then just puts his hands on his shoulders in a moment of bro trust and admiration and then yeets out of existence at "when you're falling in a forest."

BEN'S YOU WILL BE FOUND WILL LIVE ON IN INFAMY!

During the panic attack before the song began, starting when Evan dropped his notecards, you can feel it radiating off of him so vividly that everyone in the theater was holding their breath.

First when he fell to pick the cards up you could see the tears swell up and hear his breath quicken and feel the panic swell like "no no no, this can't happen. Not now. Don't do this!" And the second you think he might be able to pull it together and stand up, he slips and hits his elbow so hard on the floor, we all jump. He lets out the most heartbreaking yelp and clutches his arm, abandoning his cards and the speech and all hope of recovering. The tears finally start to fall down his face and they don't stop.

Still holding his arm, Evan pushes his body out of the spotlight and holds himself in the fetal position, refusing to look up and just all around shutting hinself away from everyone watching. AND YOU CAN FEEL IT! You can feel Evan's shame and horror and fear and anger and it's awful. You almost have to look away because the emotions being displayed are so real and raw. More real than any recording or bootleg out there. And that's why Ben Levi Ross was so incredibly perfect in my eyes, because he could so accurately depict and portray Evan and what he's going through to the point where you have to look away to avoid the risk of being pulled under with him and losing yourself to your own habits and its heartbreakingly brilliant! Again, Ben. Fucking. Levi. Ross.

During "You Will be Found" they also display all these younger and baby pictures of Marrick along with present day ones to show little Connor, which was adorable. But then Larry, played by Aaron Lazar, looks up and sees little baby Connor on the screen and instantly breaks down sobbing, the first time ever since Connor died as we hear Zoe say earlier that "he didn't even cry at Connor's funeral." Cynthia has to come over and hold him to prevent him from instantly falling apart.

Evan and Jared also have this awkward high five at that part and its very uncomfortable and great.

There's another just horrible moment in the middle of words fail where one by one the Murphys all run off stage horrified at the news that Evan was lying. First, it's Zoe with Cynthia following after, frantically trying to grasp what happened with tears falling everywhere. Then Larry, who looks disapprovingly at Evan before solemnly following the others. Then, lastly, in what could just be described as the worst thing ever, one of the screens become transparent to reveal CONNOR, looking in dismay at what has happened, tears in his eyes, before also walking away from Evan back into the nothingness. Awful. Beautifully, beautifully awful.

Evan snuggles into Heidi and stays there for what seems like forever during "So Big, So Small" then, he finally lets go and Heidi rides away on the couch, reaching for him.

Okay, fam. That was all the specific things I wanted to scream about during the actual show, but then I had the pleasure of meeting them at the stage door which led to some great hijinks!

I said something really stupid to Jessica Phillips/Heidi when she signed my playbill probably along the lines of like "You were so amazing I might faint. Please catch me" and she SQUEALED! It was the best sound on the planet.

When Marrick Smith/ Connor came out, I was frozen in shock because, not only was he shorter than I thought and his cool hair was tied in a man bun and he was wearing a cool beanie and some hair feel into his eyes like a Myspace profile picture, I was so amazed that he was real and was standing so close to me. I was so amazed that I stood there like an idiot just staring at him and shaking while he smiled at me, an awkward little baby, until my Mom had to physically nudge me towards him to which he responded by giggling and saying "Aw! Don't be scared! I don't bite!" I... I. How? How do I live after that. He signed by his picture and, get this, also doodled a little mustache on Aaron Lazar/ Larry's picture. I am also proud to say that I saw his slightly chipped black nail polish up close in true Connor fashion. Then he thanked me for coming and waved at me. He was SO incredibly sweet and I couldn't stop smiling after that.

When Phoebe Koyabe/Alana came out with her gorgeous pink hair I squealed and told her she was gorgeous to which she kindly smiled and complemented my dress and signed my Playbill. She was a goddess and I love her so much.

Right before Aaron Lazar came out, My Mom without thinking just called out "Daddy" to which my sister and I were horrified.

Lastly, Ben Levi Ross, wearing the best sweater ever, came out and signed my Playbill. At this point my legs were absolute jelly and I was shaking so bad I almost dropped everything, but he was so SO NICE and, as a response to seeing me dying upon seeing him, said "Oh no! Don't shake! You're okay! Everything's fine!" He was so unbelievably chill and sweet and upon my family showering him with all of the complements he deserved was so down to earth and appreciative. It was so incredible to get to meet him and tell him how amazing he was!

In conclusion, I knew Dear Evan Hansen was incredible and loved it before, but actually seeing it made me feel so many feelings that I didn't know existed. Its such a genius musical and I 1000% recommend! There was not a weak link in the cast! They were all so sweet and talented and just absolutely PHENOMENAL! I would die for all of them! :)

#dear evan hansen #dear even hansen the musical #dear evan hansen tour #evan hansen #connor murphy #jared klienman #alana beck #zoe murphy #heidi hansen #cynthia murphy #larry murphy #ben levi ross #jessica Phillips #marrick smith #maggie mckenna #phoebe koyabe #jared goldsmith #aaron lazar #musicals 2019 #musicals

[itsallavengers]

stony, 5 please? :)

Wait a minute. Are you jealous?

There was someone hitting on Steve.

Which was woefully normal. Steve was... well, Steve. He drew every eye in the room as soon as he walked in. He was charming and kind and genuine. Literally anyone with eyes and a brain would want to take him home and keep him there. Luckily, Tony had (somehow, miraculously)  managed to get there first. 

Unluckily, however, that never seemed to stop people from trying their luck anyway. 

In all honesty, Tony couldn’t even blame them. Back in his youth, he probably would’ve tried to do the same sleazy thing. And this guy- the one brushing his shoulder against Steve’s and smiling up at him with the most obvious bedroom eyes in the entire fucking world- he seemed exactly like Tony when he’d been that age. Couldn’t have been over twenty-five, with tan skin and those stupid hipster glasses that no-one thought was cool anymore. Except Steve, who called them ‘neat’. 

Goddamn him and his adorable ass. 

They were having what appeared to be an avid conversation, Steve cradling his bottle of beer between two hands as he leaned against the bar and watched the other guy talk. Tony, to be quite honest, wasn’t even supposed to be at the gala at all. It was for a school-funding charity that Steve had fronted, and although Tony’d been invited as a guest, he’d been ridiculously busy and had had to send Steve out on his own. 

Of course, this was what happened as soon as everyone saw that Steve Rogers was missing a Tony Stark hanging off his arm. Obviously thought he was fair game. Fucking vultures.

Would Steve even want him to butt in at this point? Tony had come to drop off Steve’s speech which he’d somehow managed to leave in the workshop before heading out, and when he’d texted he’d implied that the event had been pretty boring- but that was twenty minutes ago, and he seemed to be having a good time now. With the younger, hotter version of Tony who had an ass that left practically nothing to the imagination in those jeans and who probably didn’t have nearly as much trauma and daddy issues-

Stop it, he warned himself with a huff. It had been three years, and Steve hadn’t left yet. He loved Tony. Tony was being ridiculous. Tony was-

...Watching as the man ‘spilled’ his drink all over Steve’s dress shirt and then used that as an excuse to put hands all over Tony’s fucking boyfriend, dammit, those were his pecs to touch, not that little overzealous highschooler who probably didn’t even have anything higher than a fucking bachelors in anything, the stupid little bastard.

Tony was walking over before his mind had even made the decision, body acting of its own accord. He pulled the notes out of his jacket, looking down at Steve’s familiar curly writing with a small smile before dropping his hand and hurrying down the stairs, moving through the crowds with practised ease. As he got closer, he heard what the kid was saying. He had a warm voice; smooth and low, and jheeze, Tony could just hear the suggestiveness in his tone, no one spoke like that normally and that was a fact.

“-I’m such a clutz, dammit, I remember this exact same thing happened when I was driving my new limited edition mustang, except with coffee. Ugh, I swear I’m good with my hands usually- in all senses of the word if you know what I mean,” the guy stopped and winked up at Steve, who, bless him, just smiled sort of awkwardly and then shook his head.

“It’s fine, honestly, I can- you don’t have to- I got this,” Steve raised his own hands in a signal for the guy to back up, which surprisingly, he did. He then began to scrub a few times at the stain on his chest, before sighing and just leaving it there, tossing the napkin onto the bar. “I don’t think there’s much else we can do about that for tonight.”

Tony could practically see that asshole gearing up to swoop in for the final move- some sort of ‘my place is five minutes away, wanna go clean up there?’ or some cheesy line like that- and so before he could, Tony’s mouth moved first.

“Hey babe- now I’m here, we can really get this party started.”

Steve and the kid both turned to him, opposing expressions falling over each of their faces at the same time- Steve with delight, and the little asshole with annoyance. 

“Tony,” Steve said warmly, opening up his arm on instinct and then letting Tony press himself up against Steve’s side. Usually, Tony probably would’ve just gone for a cheek kiss- but Tony was feeling petty, and sometimes, he just liked to let people know that he did not and would not ever share his toys, and so without hesitation he leaned up and curled his hand around Steve’s jaw, pulling him down for a scorching kiss. 

Of course, Steve went with it. Tony could feel his mild surprise, but that didn’t stop him from kissing back with vigor, his hands sliding down Tony’s body until landing on his ass and staying there for a few moments. It took at least three seconds for Steve to remember he was at a public function and hastily move them back up to more appropriate territories, and Tony felt himself grin. 

He eventually broke off, keeping his hands resting around Steve’s neck as he turned his head and looked at the other guy with a slick smile. “Hi,” he said, “I’m Tony. You might have heard of me before.”

The guy blinked, looking a little put-out for a moment before regaining his composure and then smiling back. “Lucas,” he responded, “it’s nice to meet you, Tony. Although I thought you weren’t attending tonight?”

“Well, life is full of surprises, isn’t it?” He said sweetly, before  turning back to the important person in the room and sliding Steve’s prompt cards into his breast pocket, shaking his head at the man fondly. “You’re a goddamn nightmare, you know that?” He said, leaning up to kiss him again. 

Steve smiled sheepishly. “I was distracted. I’m sorry for dragging you out here.”

Tony felt himself being glared at to his left, so he turned his head and then raised an eyebrow. “Hey, just out of interest- is your car the limited edition mustang that’s parked outside?”

A flash of surprise. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

Tony just shrugged, pointing a finger. “Oh, because it was getting toed when I came in. You might wanna go get it.”

It was a dick move, but then again, Tony was known for being a dick. Lucas’ face paled, and with a quick curse he scurried away, bumping Tony’s shoulder as he pushed through in order to stop his car from being toed by the invisible toe-truck that Tony had just made up.

Steve watched Tony as he pulled a face. “What a shame. He seemed like a nice guy.”

When Tony looked at Steve to see whether he agreed, Steve simply shrugged indifferently. “Yeah, he was cool. He’s one of the ambassadors for the charity- does a lot of good for the local kids apparently.”

Tony nodded. Yeah, Steve would’ve loved that. “Pretty, too,” he continued, unable to help himself, because he was a childish idiot who might as well have been writing ‘do you still like me best’ on a sticky note and sending it across the classroom.

Steve just looked at him funny. “Uh, if you say so,” he said, shrugging again.

Tony looked at him. “Just out of curiosity, how low did his wandering hands go when he was rubbing you down with that napkin? I’m thinking he was at least trying to make it to the abs, but your angle was better than mine-”

“Tony, what are you-” Steve paused, before his eyes widened a little and he looked down at him in what seemed to be amusement, “wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Tony huffed, flapping out a hand and letting his peaceful facade fall. “Of course I’m jealous, that damn twink had his hands all over you, and he’s hot, and he’s not got any gray hairs and he wears those stupid hipster glasses that you like and you didn’t seem to mind too much that he was flirting the pants off you at some charity event on a Sunday evening!”

Steve looked at him in bewilderment, blinking a few times. “He wasn’t flirting with me,” he said dumbly, but when Tony just stared, unimpressed at him, Steve’s eyes widened. “He was flirting with me?” He asked incredulously.

If it had been anyone else in the world, Tony would have been absolutely certain they were just trying to cover their asses. Because surely no-one could be that oblivious, right?

Well. Steve could. Hopeless-at-flirting, dense-as-a-brick, romantically constipated Steve had managed to mix up Tony’s blatant propositioning for friendly banter for about two years straight. He couldn’t see a come-on if it painted itself neon orange and danced naked in front of him.

God, Tony loved him so much it hurt.

He smiled weakly, resting his head into Steve’s shoulder. “When people make sexual innuendos about how good their handjob skills are to strangers, that’s a big sign that there’s flirting going on, yeah,” he explained in amusement.

Steve’s hand tightened around Tony’s waist nervously. “Oh,” he said, and Tony wasn’t looking at his face, but he could just sense the blush of embarrassment crawling up there, “oh, I had no idea- oh God, sorry Tony, I promise I wasn’t trying to encourage that, I wouldn’t, you know I-”

“Oh God, of course I know that you big lug, be quiet,” Tony huffed and smacked him lightly on the chest, looking up at him, “sorry. It’s just...” he gestured to himself with a bashful shrug, “issues,” he finished weakly, “lots of them. Manifesting in various shitty ways.”

Steve looked at him, and then frowned a little as he took Tony’s face in his hands. “Hey,” he said quietly, “you know that I’m not planning on leaving you for anyone any time soon, right?” A smile curved across his face. “No matter how young they might be or how cool their glasses are, or even if they don’t have a single grey hair on their body. I don’t love any of them.”

Tony looked down with a sigh. “That’s stupid of you,” he muttered, “maybe when I was in my twenties, I would’ve been better for you, but Jheeze, Steve, I’m on the wrong side of forty now, and then there’s everyone else you could have and I know it’s stupid but sometimes I just see them and think-” he broke off, shaking his head as he finished, “I’m just... so far from what you deserve, that’s all.”

When Steve didn’t say anything, Tony just sighed in dismay. God, why did he have to go and run his mouth and make everything about him? This had started off light-hearted, but of course, he had to go and make everything sad. “Fuck, just ignore me,” he muttered, smiling tightly and stepping away, “I’m only kidding around. Knock ‘em dead with your speech, Steve, you always do- I’ll probably be asleep when you get back but-”

He stopped speaking as Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him back in, kissing him hard and fast. Steve’s grip on his bicep was firm, and he pushed Tony against the bar in order to go at his mouth like they were in the bedroom rather than a charity event. Tony just rolled with it, holding back the urge to make an inappropriate noise in front of all the guests. Fuck, Steve was good at kissing. 

Then Steve broke away, and Tony looked up at him with a blank face, stunned into temporary silence.

“You’re such a goddamn idiot sometimes,” Steve told him with a shake of his head, “I’m a 1940′s loud-mouthed runt from Brooklyn who grew up with nothing more than ten dollars in his bank at any given moment, who fights crime in tights and doesn’t even know when someone’s blatantly trying to come onto him- yet I’ve managed to bag the world’s cleverest, most beautiful, funny and kind superhero in the entire world, and you think that you don’t deserve me?” 

Tony frowned. “They’re not tights,” he said eventually, “they’re graphene-lined kevlar bodysuits.”

Steve just looked at him, and then he smiled so warmly that Tony felt as if he might melt from it. The man leaned down, pressing the softest kiss against his cheek. “Tony, you are ridiculous,” he declared, “and I love you more than anything else in the whole world, okay? Grey hairs and everything. In fact, the silver fox look is kinda hot. So.” Steve just shrugged, winking down at Tony when he blinked in surprise. 

There were some days when Tony wondered how in God’s name he’d ever managed to find someone as perfect as Steve Rogers. Today was one of them. And the strangest thing about it was that Tony knew Steve wasn’t lying. He did think that Tony’s grey hairs were hot- in the same way he found it cute when Tony fell asleep on Steve on the couch and ended up drooling on his shoulder, or loved the crows feet around his eyes because they showed he was happy. 

Steve was just... perfect. 

“I love you,” Tony said, kissing his shoulder apologetically, “sorry for freaking out.”

“I love you too,” Steve responded, “sorry for being so oblivious to other people’s come-on’s.”

Tony grinned wryly, looking up at Steve as an idea popped into his head. “I think I know a way to potentially deter people doing that in the immediate future,” he told Steve solemnly, nodding his head.

-Which was how they found themselves in some conveniently placed cloak-room, making out like teenagers as Tony sucked a variety of dark hickeys into Steve’s neck, just under the collar, but visible to anyone if they were looking hard enough. 

He heard as Steve breathed hard above him, Adam's apple bobbing up and down under Tony’s mouth. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed, “sometimes I forget how nice love-bites feel.”

Tony nipped the spot he was working on with his teeth and felt as Steve gasped. “Will try and regularly remind you then,” he muttered, pressing Steve against the door and splaying his fingers out across Steve’s chest, “God, I love you,” he said, peppering kisses across the sharp line of Steve’s jaw.

Steve whimpered. He adored it when Tony kissed him there. “Love you too,” he breathed harshly, eyes clenched shut as he let his head drop back against the door, much to Tony’s delight. God, how bad he wanted to suck a hickey right up onto Steve’s throat, where Goddamn everyone could see it, and know where it had come from. 

Alas. The Charity hosts probably wouldn’t approve of Steve Rogers walking up on stage looking like he’d just been fucked in a bathroom stall- no matter how much Tony might like that idea.

“Okay, we gotta- we gotta stop,” Steve said eventually, although it sounded thoroughly pained, “my speech is in five minutes and I cannot come in my pants before I walk up there. That’s just so many levels of bad.”

Tony pouted, but ultimately ceased his attack on Steve’s neck. “I’ve done it before,” he said moodily, “more than once.”

“Well, I’m not quite as shameless as you,” Steve told him, before rubbing at his neck and grinning, “how do I look?”

Tony stepped back, admiring his handiwork. Steve’s collar was unbuttoned, and from his sternum to the beginning of his neck were a litany of purpley-pink marks, slowly darkening against his pale and flushed skin. He looked beautiful He looked like Tony’s.

It was ridiculously childish. 

It was also ridiculously hot.

 “You look like you’re currently unavailable to any potential suitors,” Tony said eventually, kissing one of the marks gently and feeling the hot skin underneath his mouth.

Steve met his eyes and smoothed out Tony’s hair. “Good,” he said, before looking down at his watch and sighing. “I’m also about five minutes late. I should’ve been in the wings getting the run-down by now. I really have to go.”

Tony nodded, stepping forward and buttoning Steve’s shirt back up properly, re-tying his tie until he looked just about presentable. “Alright,” he said, “and I really have to get back to my work. Pepper is going to kill me if I don’t finish this paperwork.”

Steve nodded, hand going backward and curling around the doorknob. “Right,” he said, breathing in once more and trying to pull his eyes away from Tony’s mouth, “speech. Okay. This’ll be fun. I will... we will continue this when I get home, okay?”

Tony just nodded wryly at Steve’s slightly whiny voice, patting him on the shoulder fondly. Yeah- he really had no reason to doubt a thing. Steve was still just as in love with him as he had been a year ago, or two or three or four. Tony still had it. And apparently, the grey hair just made it better, which was certainly a fact that Tony would be taking into consideration from now on.

He leaned up and kissed Steve one more time, before backing away. “Go get ‘em, soldier.”

#this got way too long jesus christ i get so cARRIED AWAY #itsallavengers writes #stevetony #Anonymous

[drkoestersmithrpg]

The Krufe Effle Tournament - Universe 1

Rocking, rocking, endlessly rocking, Tony moved with the stronger man above him in a smooth, graceful parody of a man making love to a woman. On his back, legs spread wide, pierced to the core, Tony was in the position of the woman. Which meant that he had turned out to be the useless fucking faggot his father always knew he would be. The constant scraping of his prostrate was driving him crazy and the sounds above him were frying his brain. He had kept his mouth clenched tight for fear of what might come out of it, something like ‘stop’ or ‘more’ or ‘I love you, what’s your name again?’ or ‘I do say sir, your cock is the perfect size.’ But he was slack-jawed now, awestruck, whimpering. His eyes were clenched tight -- maybe, if he kept them closed, this wouldn’t really be happening, he wouldn’t really be here; his legs spread shamelessly, his hands splayed out over the scattered LPs , his impending orgasm threatening to blow the top of his head off, his lover above him making impossible demands…. “Open your eyes.” “I can’t,” he whispered (whimpered) and he bent his body forward in hopes of rubbing his cock against that other body while simultaneously turning his head as far away from his lover as he could get it, trying to pretend this was all just another Deranged Fantasy a-la-Tony, that he was really just the Poor Little Rich Boy alone and pathetic…very pathetic…but at least safely alone. “Tony, open your eyes.” He did, and when he saw his father, he knew he had died and gone to hell. He screamed and threw his arms over his head.

“Limp wristed fairy, you pathetic pillow biter,” his old man spat, and Tony’s hands pressed over his ears did nothing to block out the hateful voice.  “You and your twisted, deviant friends can go play your sissy games but know when you come back home I won’t have a weak queer living under my roof…” Far away……in another room perhaps, or in another reality, he could hear another voice call his name, and he knew hope was near. Peter was here, Peter would save him, and if Peter couldn’t save him well, then he could save Peter and not have to think about this horrible nightmare that was currently and enthusiastically fucking him into the floor.

“Tony…..what? Tony I…..oh shit, oh FUCK Tony……” “Language!” he whispered breathlessly (his mouth and throat too dry to really speak) as he flailed his arms around in the darkness, trying to find Peter.   Something was very wrong…Peter sounded like he was in trouble (or feeling REALLY good!) and either way Tony was going to find him and save him.

He could find him.  He could save him.  And then the weak silly pillowbiter would be gone and the Big Solid Hero would be back again. He tried to turn his head, because all efforts to flail his arms to find Peter weren’t working because he didn’t know which was up which is when he realized, for the first time, that there was no darkness he was only keeping his eyes tightly closed.

Opening them didn’t help.

They clearly were not in his childhood bedroom, but they WERE laying atop of what would appear to be his entire Black Sabbath album collection (he could feel them crunching underneath his back OH he was going to be SO pissed at someone) and he couldn’t get off the broken albums on the floor because a much stronger man was on top of him, but suddenly it didn’t matter because PETER had just fallen on top of him and he couldn’t flail his arms around because he was holding tightly onto Peter.  

Tony had rescued him after all. He pulled his sweating, panting (and weeping?  were those tears??) boy closer to him and stroked the damp hair.  “Peter, oh god Peter,” he was saying, and TRYING NOT to say, because he DID NOT want to admit how terrified, how helpless, he had been just moments before.  Tony actually found himself KISSING the boy’s head and trying to rock him back and forth, overwhelmed with the urge to GIGGLE (and losing) because he wasn’t supposed to be kissing Peter, was he??  No, that would be SO unprofessional. But Peter didn’t seem to notice. In fact, Peter seemed to be very upset about something, and was currently clinging to Tony begging forgiveness. “I’m so sorry, oh gosh Tony, oh fuck I tried, I really I tried, Oh god forgive me. I’m so sorry Tony, I’ve just wanted you for so fucking long….” “Hey hey hey…it’s ok…” Tony said (what else could he say?) He pushed the boy’s wet hair out of his eyes, dried the tears from his face (yes the boy had been crying) all while trying to make sense of it all. “Kid, what happened to you? Where are we? You want me?” A look of despair marred Peter’s beautiful face as he pulled his body away (Tony couldn’t help but notice that he was embarrassingly nude but Peter didn’t seem to mind that fact, probably because he was gloriously nude also.  Nor did Petey even notice that Tony was sporting a huge erection.) “What’s the last thing you remember?” the boy asked, whispered really. He sounded heartbroken. “We were with Cap on the roof, waiting for the  Krufe Effle alien to arrive for the tournament - the One-Man-Gladiator thing,” Tony said, keeping his hands on Peter’s arms, not wanting to let him go.  He could keep talking, he could keep being ok, as long as Peter was here.  “...where he was going to fight Cap for some alien honor something, in front an audience of the Heads of State, and Strange messaged us to tell us it was all a setup, which we figured.  So we put out an all call and Sam and Nat and .....and......”

“And Barnes and Thor and that Starlord dude you hate so much, they were nearby.  And you told me not to come because it was too dangerous but I came...”

“Right, right, and I introduced Nat as the Queen of England and Sam as the King of Motown and Thor as Our Local God and you as the Twink Ambassador To Earth...”

“Dammit Tony I’m not a twink.”

“No....no.....you’re the AMBASSADOR to the Twinks.   And the alien seemed to buy it...and I had just analyzed the box that the  Krufe guy said Cap needed to use as a weapon…. Peter? Why are we both naked?”

“Ohgodforgiveme,” he said, but when he tried to pull away Tony wouldn’t allow it, keeping his arms wrapped around Peter’s body and although Peter was far stronger, he stayed. “That Krufe Effle alien,” he said, ducking his head down to Tony’s chest, trying to hide in Tony’s arms.   Tony combed his fingers through the wet hair as Peter tried to explain.  ”It was all a setup, just like Strange said.  But he sent another message about the weapon that Cap was using… I was TRYING to get his attention....but I couldn’t get anyone to listen....  Strange said to use the POMMEL of the weapon, but Cap just used the blade, he said we couldn’t not let any of the blood…I guess that was the point of having the battle with all the heads of state in one place…and then you called one of the Sentinels and they grabbed it and soared off with it but…” ”Oh god the blood...”

”It went everywhere.  I was standing behind you but Cap got a whole facefull and just started screaming and pulling his hair, but you were still in your suit and you started sending the uninfected people to carry the infected people into the showers in hopes it would just wash off but everyone was going in every direction - Barns picked up Nat and carried her into the kitchen and Starlord said he was going to fly Thor somewhere to.....actually I’m not sure.....I’m not sure WHAT they were doing......”  “Is Cap all right?” “He got it the worst…you told Sam to take him to your shower and they got in there alright but…well ......I’m not sure what they’re doing but they’re still in there.....” “We came here, I remember!” Tony said, grabbing Peter by the arm, where the alien’s blood had been eating through his suit.  Suddenly Peter’s wet hair was making more sense. “The sink in the lab!  I used the bucket to douse you!  But my suit should have…”

“You took it off.  My hands were shaking too much to fill the bucket and I guess you meant to take the gloves off but it all came off and then you were holding me up to pour the water on me…and well…”

“But how did we get here?” Peter looked up and around in despair. “Through your vintage record collection.  Sorry.” His sad frown was a centimeter from Tony mouth. and even as Peter tried to explain how the shelf got knocked over and the albums scattered Tony closed the distance and pressed his lips to the boy’s soft skin.

“These are expensive, aren’t they?” Peter was asking, close to tears.

“Not as much as you think,  I brag a lot about them because I’m an asshole” Tony was whispering against that soft skin, untilPeter turned his mouth half an inch to meet his mouth in a kiss that made Tony’s bones melt. “You wanted me for so long?” he whispered when a surprised looking Peter came up for air. “That’s what you said, word for word. Is that true?” he asked, but when Peter tried to apologize Tony interrupted him with another kiss. “Oh God Tony yes,” he said, his voice breaking, and Tony sat up and pulled the boy to him, wrapping him up in his arms and swearing he would never let go.

“But I hurt you, I think I ra….I know I hurt you,” Peter was saying.  “That mineral oil you said would neutralize it better than the water, well it wasn’t exactly enough and, god I’m sorry…”

“Oh kid you’re going to have to be a lot rougher than that, and a lot bigger, to hurt me,” Tony said, fighting hard not to burst into hysterical giggles.  But when Peter looked at him in disbelief, he lost the battle.

“Oh kid,” he said after collapsing onto his back and finding himself wrapped up in <i>Peter’s</i> arms, hiding in the comfort of the boy’s strong embrace, his hair being stroked with gentle fingers.  “Oh Petey, I’ve been a limp wristed fairy for a <i>very</i> long time.  No…no I’m afraid a number of twisted deviants have made me a little….jaded.  You didn’t hurt me kid…” “You…..? But I mean….it was my first time…..I thought I must have done it wrong…wait….

“Wait.”

“How did you <b>not</b> know I wanted you??” Peter said, pulling back a little, looking angry now. “I thought I was being a little obvious.” “I didn’t know because I couldn’t,” Tony said breathlessly. “Ever since you officially stopped being a kid, well, I guess I spent a great deal of effort  ....making sure I didn’t know.”

“Why?!?”

“Because I…..because I was pretty sure you wanted me to ...... because had no idea you wanted to fuck me.”

“I didn’t….” Peter said, suddenly looking down and stammering.  “I mean I didn’t know that I wanted to....I mean I did know that I wanted to but I didn’t think that….oh god.......and I should have told you “no” but it’s just when you begged me and then you kind of took my pants off and I didn’t know how to tell you....

Tony burst into hysterical giggles again and Peter calmly bent down to stroke his hair, kissing his face and shushing until the man could speak again.  

“So, you wanted me, to want you like this?”  Peter said, eyes full of wonder.  “Because I do.  I want the other thing to - actually I think I want a lot of things - but yeah, this to.”

Then he moved forward for another kiss, then they both stopped to look down awkwardly, for just a moment, when the movement brought Tony’s erection against the Peter’s body, which made Peter chuckle. “Sorry,” Tony said, brow creasing, wondering why the kid was laughing at his dick – maybe it was some Millennial joke he didn’t get? "Where did you come from?” Peter was saying gently.   “I just thought just took care of you.” “Wait….what?” Tony took Peter’s face in both hands. “Jesus this isn’t fair, what else don’t I remember?” “Can’t tell you,” Peter said with a playful smile, turning toward Tony’s fingers and mouthing them suggestively.  “But I promise I took care of him already.”  He leaned down and whispered “I have done that before.” “Ah fuck!” Tony moaned, falling back to the wet carpet and covering his eyes with his hand. “You went down on me for the first time and I missed it?” “And I did it well,” Peter bragged. Tony peaked out from between his fingers. “Did you?  I think I’m going to need proof.”

“I don’t need proof, I had THE Tony Stark inform me I was *very* good.  I think your exact words were “How the fuck did you get so GOOD at this kid?”

Tony was still peaking out from between his fingers. “Maybe I was just reacting to the sexed-up alien blood.  My reactions aren’t trustworthy.  The data is tainted.” Peter pulled Tony’s hand away from his eyes and, moving his body on top again, kissed each eyelid. “Well then we’ll have to do it again, for scientific purposes,” he whispered playfully.

“But lets go to the bedroom.  We’re laying on an overturned shelf of what I thought were priceless LPs and they’re stressing me out.” Peter kissed him again and tried to sit up. Tony sat up with him, trying his best not to break the kiss, trying to kiss and stand and speak all at the same time. “Is this real? Are we really sober?  Is Strange going to show up with a cure and make you come to your senses?” “No idea – we should have a lot of sex before then in case he does.”

“No Tony…..no” he said next, pushing Tony away gently as Tony tried to stand up while kissing him at the same time. “No, Tony,” he insisted, using his strength to keep the bigger man in place.  “That’s how the record shelf came down.”

Peter’s bare feet crunched harmlessly over the crushed vinyl while he helped a limping Tony, battered and bruised, out of the wreckage, finally picking him up and carrying him the final feet to safety.  Then he stopped and held Tony’s face in his hands, his eyes searching.  Tony was to weak and euphoric to protest, and endured the examination patiently. “Swear to me I didn’t rape you,” Peter whispered, barely audible.  “Swear to me I didn’t hurt you.” “You didn’t rape me kid.  And I wish I could answer all your questions Petey, but I don’t remember.” “I wasn’t sure where I was, I wasn’t even sure I was sure if any of it was real, but when I could see straight and when you let me make love to you, for a moment I thought….I thought you screamed. I thought you screamed and tried to hide.  Did I hurt you?” Let me make love to you. Were there six more beautiful words in the English Language? Tony closed his eyes and floated in the heaven that was this kid using the words ‘making love to you.’ “Tony?” “Whu…..? Oh, yes…..I mean no. I mean…..I was still hallucinating, and I thought I saw……I didn’t know where I was, and I thought I saw .... something.” “What?” Tony leaned down to kiss the boy he had been harboring impossible secret fantasies about, fantasies that until an hour ago he would never had admitted to anyone in the world. “A monster,” he whispered against soft lips, then pressed into a kiss. “But you made the monster go away.”

#Rocking Number 1 #There will be a switched version where tony thinks he raped peter #oh yes #there will be more

[aphroditewritesstuff]

The Fuck you say?

Ok so, in response to the complete rash of Otayur fics depicting Yuri as a effeminate, spineless dweeb who can’t control his sexual urges, I wrote this one shot.

This is for every ABO fic that is just horrible smut and no substance.

For every fic that can’t give two shits about canon.

For every time I read about Yuri being a slut/sub/kitten/prostitute/slave/omega with a daddy kink.

Just stop. I don't have anything against kink. Not at all (quite the opposite in fact) but this fandom is basically using a potentially good pairing as an excuse to see just how fucked up we can make these characters. You know what I enjoy? Good writing, with a plot line, as well as some flavorsome smut thrown in there. 

So this is my response. If you don’t like what I’ve prefaced this with, don’t read.

Also, lots of swearing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Fuck You Say Part 1

Yuri reversed himself onto the bench next to Otabek, and Otabek openly admired his legs. Yuri seemed to either not notice or care, because he was too busy on his phone. He had been tapping away at it since leaving the Dunkin’ Donuts, which annoyed Otabek but when he’d tried to start up a suitably distracting conversation, he’d been waved off.

“Just give me a sec, I’m trying to find that song I told you about.” Yuri had said, his expression determined. Otabek let it go. As first dates went, it was pretty good overall. They’d chatted, Yuri had a filthy sense of humour and his long silky hair made Otabek imagine things…

“Ah shit. My battery is dying. Give me yours?” Yuri said, stowing his disappointment of a phone in his tiger-striped jacket, and holding his hand out to Otabek. He did it so easily like he wasn't even expecting Otabek to say no, that Otabek had to smile to himself.

Pillow kittens like Yuri were always imperious in the daytime, but became completely unraveled in bed. He handed his phone over, never dropping eye contact, and making sure his fingers slid softly over Yuri’s palm as he did. Yuri raised an eye, a slight smirk, but said nothing. Otabek was satisfied, and anticipatory; he would have Yuri in his apartment by early evening. While Yuri bent his head over the screen, he admired the line of his neck, the slimness of waist Otabek preferred in bed partners. He could already imagine curling the tips of his fingers into prominent hip bones…

“What the...Otabek? What is this?”

Otabek was torn from his filthy reverie and turned his gaze to the phone screen now tilted his way. Then his eyes bugged. A swipe at the phone was completely pointless, and Yuri jumped away, laughing.

“Oh my god, Otabek, you kinky little shit. What’s a ‘twink’?”

“Give that back.” Otabek tried to say sternly, but mortification had closed his throat.

“Nu huh. Hold on I'm googling…” Yuri cackled, looking far too gleeful, fingers a blur. “I’ve never seen that. Oh my god you have a subscription to Porn Hub. No one actually pays for porn anymore you idiot.”

“I said give it back.” Otabek tried again, regaining some of the deep bass in his voice. Yuri couldn’t give any  fucks.  His expression clearly showed how much he was enjoying the fact that Otabek had left his browser open and playing…that. Then his eyebrows furrowed.

“An attractive, boyish-looking, young gay man. The stereotypical twink is 18-22, slender with little or no body hair, often blonde, dresses in club wear even at 10:00 AM, and is not particularly intelligent. A twink is the gay answer to the blonde bimbo cheerleader.” Yuri started reading aloud slowly, and Otabek flushed, looking around for anyone else walking the park just then, “Twink is a shortening of the name for the famous "TWINKIE" snack cake: a tasty, cream-filled snack with no nutritional value. The phallic shape of the "TWINKIE" snack cake should not escape the reader's attention.”

Yuri turned the screen to Otabek again. “Are you into this?”

Otabek was blushing properly now, and angrily snatched the phone. “You had no right to do that.”

“The fuck you say?” the look on Yuri’s fine-featured face was now very finely pissed-off. “Well look at this, I happen to be blonde, small and you picked me up at the club last night.”

It took a few tries before the history was deleted off his phone, but eventually Otabek managed it then shoved the article of his betrayal into his back pocket, avoiding Yuri’s eyes. “Well…”

“Well, what?!” Yuri exploded. Otabek watched the flash of his green eyes and the whip of his hair a little too obviously.

“Oh my fucking god.” Yuri was visibly disgusted, then he stepped right into Otabek’s space. “Listen closely, Otabek, cos you’re about to get a lesson you won’t forget.”

Light exploded and Otabek felt the immediate, hot bloom of pain in his jaw, then an echoing pain in his butt when he landed on it. In complete astonishment, he cradled his jaw and looked up at Yuri, who stood over him like an furious, avenging angel.

“I’m not a fucking TWINK, you pretentious, motherfucking wannabee.” Yuri growled. “Just because you picked me up in a club, god. Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“You were wearing a backless shirt and pleather pants!” Otabek threw out in his defense, then realised how dumb he sounded. Yuri grabbed his shirt front, yanking him upwards and pulling back another fist.

“Fucking disgusting. Did you think i was gonna shake my ass and let you plow me? Was that your whole idea? Buy me a donut and I’ll be so effeminately grateful, and blush while you strip me and bend me over the couch?”

The more Yuri spoke, the less Otabek had in his head to say. Yuri was incandescent.

“I only let you pick me up cos you’re a sweet piece of ass.” Yuri hissed.

“But...I paid for lunch.” the words fell out of Otabek’s mouth, small and senseless.

Yuri abruptly let go of his shirt, and Otabek landed awkwardly on his elbow, adding its throb to the rest.

“You make me want to vomit.” Yuri spat. “Don't you fucking come near me again. And I’m telling everyone about you, asswipe.”

Otabek watched him stalk away, shoulders hunched, looking as if he needed something to kill.

Still rubbing his jaw, he finally levered himself up, and dusted off his trousers, feeling as unnerved as if he’d just been dismembered by a duck.

PArt 2, Part 3

#otayuri #yuri x otabek #Yuri Plisetsky #Yuri is such a bamf #yuri plisetsky is not a fucking twink #Otabek Altin #fic #one shot #my fic #everyday meeting #pick up #donuts #first date gone very wrong #swearing #potty mouth

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self instert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 24: Let me in LET ME IN!

“Welcome back Miss Palma” Jinko opens the car door “and welcome to your squadron.”

“Thank you Jinko” I step out and see the agents “sup fellas! Missed me?”

“Of course! Wish we could catch up but we have a task at hand” 44 said escorting us in “Do you remember your old room? We have your requested gear in there, hope it will do.”

We suit up in my room and load up our weapons. We requested something to cover Mimi’s and Jin’s mouth and ears. My visor covers my face and sides of my head when lowered, while Mimi and Jin’s support gear just cover their eyes and forehead. Before we met up with the head agent, Mimi had something on their mind.

“Babushkas?” she said softly “what if this is the last of our adventures?”

“I won’t let that happen” sternly said Jin as he strapped on his holsters “You two are all I have, I love you and dammit if I break myself getting us to safety then so be it!” he puts his hands on our shoulders “no time to think about the sad shit, we have drama to cause.”

We group hugged and headed to the lead for instructions. We got connected to their earpiece system so they can communicate with us and hear what we hear. Based on what they told us, the place isn’t far from where I 1st appeared as Black Phantom. We switch on our distortion voice changer and teleported out to the area, from there we roof jumped a quarter mile to this alleyway with some stairs leading to a basement door.

“Okay as expected, hot villain is the guard” I whispered to Mimi and Jin “I’m jumping in, don’t come out until I give the signal and follow along with my story.” They nod in response and lay low as I floated down into the entrance of the alleyway “Well well well, aren’t you a sight to behold?” I coo’d to get the attention of Dabi “Hello my Raven haired beauty, it’s been too long!”

Dabi looks at me with fear in his eyes “Black Phantom! I knew you’d appear, RIGHT when we settled in here too” he gets annoyed but doesn’t get on guard “look, I’m not looking for a fight, our boss is in there with our entire team” I inch closer to him and he gets increasingly nervous “maybe you can work something out with him? Just please, don’t hurt me!”

“Oh? Why would I hurt someone so beautiful?” I put my hand on his face for the copy “So the boss man is inside there huh? If I were just to pop in and have a little chat, he’d be civil and welcome me?” He glups and nods in response “how about for me and my colleagues?” I snap with my free hand and Mimi and Jin portal in and strike a pose.

“Oh my! He is beautiful” Mimi played along and put her hand on his chest “tell me babe, is there an open bar down there? I have a need to quench my thirst” she slides her hand slowly downward as she says that.

Jin puts his finger on Dabi’s forehead “Answer the question you handsome man! I can end you with the flex of my pointer finger.”

“Okay Okay I’ll talk!” he panicked “yes, there is a bar. Just go down there and ask for Shigaraki, he’s our boss.”

“Aww don’t be scared” I signal for Jin and Mimi to take their hands off him “if you ever get sick of working with these clowns, consider becoming one of us” we start walking toward the steps “we’d love to have you.”

We make it to the door and it’s unlocked, I guess they were really harking on Dabi to be a good bouncer to do this shit. The smell of too many people in a small area and beer hit us before we saw everyone look at us. The room was a decent size, wasn’t well lit, bar area with a smokey-purple man as a bartender and a bunch of villain looking people.

“Oh don’t mind us” Mimi spoke up “we came to chill, yo barkeep, mint julep on light ice please.” We sat at the bar and I scanned the room for any familiar faces, I saw knife girl and she wasn’t happy to see us.

“Here you go” said the bartender, handing Mimi her drink “anything for you two?”

“Beer please” Jin requested.

“I’ll have an Old Fashion and the presence of Shigaraki” I gave off big dick energy “I just want to talk.”

“OoooooOOOhhhHH! Shiga-kun is gonna flip when I tell him!” Toga squealed before running up some stairs on the other side of the room.

“No offense, but who are you three?” approached a lizard man “and how did you find this place? Dabi should’ve cremated you on sight!”

I scoffed “Heh, Dontcha know that this is my city? I know everything that goes on here” I see my drink get set next to me “I am the Black Phantom and these are my colleagues, Black Sniper and Black Void.”

The room gasped and the harsh whispers of rumors started among the people in the room. I smirked so hard over the sudden change of mood in the room. I flashed a look at Mimi and Jin, they were ready to cause some shit. I didn’t have to wait long for the boss to show up, in walked in a lanky, greasy haired man with hands all over his body. I was underwhelmed by his appearance, this asshole managed to kidnap Bakugo?

“Oh wow” Jin spoke up “Hand-Job man huh?”

“Aww I was going to say that!” Mimi playfully pushed Jin.

“Stop you two” I said before taking a sip of my drink “it’s clearly Handy-Man.”

“You come into my lair, bypassed my security, drink my booze, instill fear in my henchmen and insult me?” said the man with is almost seductive raspy voice “Give me one good reason not to turn you to dust right where you stand!”

“You listen here you dry ass, crusty lipped, knick knocky knees looking bitch!” I put my drink down “This is my city! I’ve taken over the shadows and collect the skulls of those who intrude on my territory.”

“Boss, didn’t Dabi warn you about them?” spoke up a man with sunglasses and thick lips “Toga too? They’re dangerous!”

“QUIET! I don’t negotiate with wannabes” Shigaraki crossed his arms “You didn’t kill Dabi and Toga that night, so what’s your kill streak Phantom?”

“We have 10 skulls in our possession” Mimi spoke up “We didn’t kill the little girl or that sexy black haired man because we wanted to pass on the warning” she starts to get cocky “now you’ve done it, one snap from Phantom and it’s lights out for all of you.”

I raise my hand in snap position “Your move Hand Man.”

“Do it then” he points at a random guy in the room “make him disappear! I’ll negotiate if you succeed.”

“Okie Dokie!” I snap my fingers and I catch this guy’s clothes on fire and Jin deploys a portal under the guy so it looks like he got incinerated. “Bye Bye bad man hehehe” I do my best maniacal giggle and the room went from scared of me to terrified of me.

“Fuck” softly uttered Shigaraki. He turned to us with fear in eyes, like he knows he done messed up now. “Heh well um, lets talk then!” he nervously says “what does my fellow villain want to talk about?”

“We want to know why in our city” Jin butted in to take over “I swear if it’s because of that blue jean, yaoi hands hero or that pompous hero school 3 cities over” he slams down his beer “I SWEAR I’m gonna flip!”

“Don’t flip! please I don’t want to know what that means” Shigaraki put his hands up in panic “but I’m carrying the mission of my successor, All for One to take down One for All lineage, starting with that school.”

“What’s the use? Those kids ain’t worth shit” I took a sip of my drink “scoped them out myself, quirks suck ass and ain’t worth stealing, including that one aggressive twink you kidnapped.”

“That aggressive twink is part of my plan to take down that green haired heir of the One for All.” 

“He’s not worth the trouble Hand Man” I rolled my neck to exaggerate my point “the boy is a secret fire breather and smells like milk for some reason.”

“Don’t forget he cries too much, treats All Might like his God, wears those stupid shoes and fashion sense is ABYSMAL!” chimed in Mimi “we captured him but he was just some whiny broccoli bitch and just hung him on the UA flagpole by his underwear.”

“Wait! you infiltrated UA?!” he asked trying to make sense of our casualness “AND captured the heir?!”

“It’s not that hard Hand Man” Jin played along “you just gotta put on the fake titties and the skirt uniform to do what you gotta do” he finished his beer and motioned to the bartender “ay, my good man” he takes a 10,000 yen bill from his jumpsuit pocket and puts it on the bar “here’s a lil something for you and our drinks.”

“Don’t tip my henchman!”

“Shigaraki Tomura! I quite enjoy these patrons” scolded the bartender “for some territorial villains, they have the common courtesy to pay for their drinks and tip well!” 

“Oof, you got full named” I teased “not so tough are ya?”

“LOOK I told you why I’m settling here!” he gets bratty “anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“You got this lair insured or some shit?” Jin asked, cueing our escape plan.

“Ummm this is an abandoned building, so no because I just claimed it on my own.”

“Aww that’s too bad” I finished my drink “I’m giving you to the count of 5 before I burn this place to the ground.”

“If you refuse” Mimi pulls out her sliver glock “I’ll shoot you directly in the butthole.”

“If you somehow survive” Jin pounds his fist in his hand “I’ll end you with my final form.”

“1....2....” I start the countdown and mass hysteria breaks loose, people running around and flooding to the exits “3.....oh what the hell! 5!” I snap to set the wallpaper on fire and a few random things in the room to make it look like the place is going down. Mimi starts shooting and gets 3 people in the butthole, all the while Shigaraki was just standing there in shock, unable to move because of the terror we radiate. I point to him “Tomura Shigaraki, let this be a warning to you. If we see you tread in our city again, I’ll be eating cereal out of your skull!”

“Don’t think we aren’t watching Hand Man” taunted Jin “we lurk in the shadows.” He deploys a portal underneath us so it looks like we just vanished into the ground. Jin portaled us across the street from the agency and we sighed in relief. I teleported us in the building to get scanned for bugs or taps. 

“I can’t believe it” said the lead agent “you three are the real deal! Bravo to you! You gained intel, drove them away AND got drinks?!” we took off our head gear to reveal our sweaty and flushed faces “I’m so proud! why don’t you three hit the showers and rest? I’ll do the paperwork and file the evidence.”

“Yes Sir!” we breathlessly saluted before making the walk to the showers. We washed up, drank water and shared the bed in ‘my room’. I was the first one to wake up, I check the time, it’s 10am. Jin was the next one to wake up, then Mimi to go follow the smell of coffee. After a debriefing with Best Jeanist and Jinko with the lead agent, we were free to go. We didn’t want to stick around, it was saturday, we had shit to do. On the ride back, I turned on my phone and I got the usual texts from my parents but none from Iida or the others. That’s weird, I thought, I would’ve guessed that Tenya blew up my phone. We arrived back to the dorms and just tried to go back to our normal routines. I did my homework and saw that it was just a quarter before 4, time to see if Tenya is in the dorms. Without warning I just teleport in his room, lucky for me, he was hunched over doing homework at his desk.

“Tenya!” I exclaimed with a big dumb smile on my face “did you miss me?”

He turned around and couldn’t believe his eyes “Ita?! You’re back!” he couldn’t control himself and hug tackled me right on the floor “my sweet, dear friend! I’ve been worried sick that something happened to you!”

“I can tell! hehehe” I get squeezed by his hug and just feel how much he worried “I just want to hold you like this” I stroke his hair “I want to feel something nice after all the nastiness I encountered.” I felt his face pressed up in the crook of my neck and those feelings for him came back. Why am I like this?

He rolled off me and sat up “Here, I’ll just place you on my lap” he lifts me up and lays me on his lap and arms like he was cradling a baby “there, much more comfortable!” he looks at how small I am in his arms and smiles “you know, I forget just how much smaller you are compared to me” I put my hand on his face and it reminded him of the rosary “that reminds me! Your necklace” he had it on his neck and took it off “here, I kept it safe.”

“You did! Thank you Tenya” he put it on me and I tucked it away under my shirt collar “I really thought I wasn’t coming back and that was going to be the last thing you were going to remember me by.”

“Well there was also that kiss” he got flushed “I’ve never been kissed before, it stirred up my heart.”

I got a bit sneaky “Ya know, you owe me a kiss.”

He perked up “That’s right! From the dance” he saw that I was getting a little squirmy “if you’re ready, here I go.” I close my eyes and anticipate the kiss, this time he wasn’t nervous or sweating. But he didn’t aim so he kissed my nose “Oh my that’s not where I meant to kiss, I’ll-”

I giggled “I’ll take it! It’s okay” he would miss “tell me, how was everything after I left?”

“Nothing happened worth noting, I came back to the dorms after you left and I just couldn’t stop worrying about you” he held my hand “it made me think about how I should just say how I feel because I won’t know when will be the next time I see them.” 

“You were overthinking huh?”

“Yeah, because I have a lot of things planned for us. I want to go on another adventure with you, I want to take you to my family estate to meet my family, I want to be your date for the next dance” he paused a bit “just...so many things that I want to do with you, because I don’t see myself doing that with anyone else.”

At this point, I’m confused by his actions. He calls me his friend but says shit like that? So am I in the ‘I like you’ zone or what? Either way, I’m not admitting shit unless he says something first.

“Oh si? Well lets start with the thing you promised me”

“Right! I have planned that I we just stay in and I cook for you, finish watching Shrek and maybe dance a little” he sets me on the floor again so he could stand up “we didn’t really do those things properly and I wanted to make things right.”

I levitated up but he wanted to carry me out of his room, I didn’t fight back this time. To my surprise, nobody was in the commons room or dining area, it was nice to have that peace. He made me some pasta dish with chicken but as I thanked him and went in for the first bite, he stopped me.

“Um you’re blocking my fork.”

“Please, let me feed you” he picks up a piece of chicken “I know you have full control of your hands and arms, but I enjoyed feeding you last time. The faces you made with every bite was so adorable” he brought the bite up to my face “I missed all those sweet little quirky things you did.”

I narrowed my eyes as I ate the piece “My quirkiness? Like what?”

He picked up another bite of food for me “Like your morning music in the bathrooms, the way you stop and dance when you hear someone play a certain song, your wheeze when you hear a stupid funny joke” I ate his forkful “when you baby talk with animals, and my personal favorite, when you sing while you do chores.”

“You like my singing?” another forkful of food was offered “why? it’s just songs I grew up hearing.”

“Well, I grew up privileged, the only live singing I heard was during parties or special occasions” he saw that I ate the forkful and picked up another bite “but your upbringing feels like it was full of music and it was never quiet! So when you sing, I can’t help but stop and listen to you express yourself to fill the empty room with your sound.”

“You never got music lessons or anything?” I took the next bite of food.

“My parents focused everything on hero studies to sustain my strong lineage of heroes” he brought the next forkful up to my face “so I never learned to play an instrument, sing nor anything in the fine arts. I always wanted to though! Maybe I wouldn’t be so boring and have more personality.”

“Yeah, maybe” I giggled as I took the next bite “my parent’s didn’t always have enough money to give to me or my siblings but they gave us the gift of music. I took all the free lessons at school and practiced my pieces until I had them memorized.” I swallowed “and by the time I was 12, my school district recognized me as a rising music prodigy. The title meant nothing to me, I was just happy to play and learn new things.”

I told him about my concert disasters and the rivals I made from the other richer schools. All the while he was listening attentively and feeding me. We finished watching Shrek and he still didn’t understand the memes. We walked over to the tree to dance out of sight, he had a playlist saved and played it on his phone as we danced. It was mostly slow dancing music.

“I think I finally realized the thing that’s been bothering me” he looked into my eyes “on who you remind me of.”

“Oh? Who do I remind you of?” I honest to Ru Paul don’t know where this is going and I tried not to sound scared.

“You remind me of my Older brother, Tensei” his face and tone was very sincere “both of you tell me to not worry when you go off on your missions, comfort me when you come back and I just admire both of you for your strength and kindness.”

My heart shattered, I’ve been sibling respect zoned, but I just give a neutral face “I forget you have an older brother sometimes and that your relationship with him is pretty normal than what I have with my older sister.”

“Well, yes it’s different” he clears his throat “I should introduce you to him during summer or winter break, despite his decommission to do hero work, he still runs the agency just as much.” 

I get a little pouty, oof I really am in the sibling zone! But if I meet his brother and can get over the age difference, I may be in a different zone with him. I do my little plot to get with his brother as we dance. But to him, it looks like I’m smiling because I’m having fun with him. He gives me a piggy back ride back to my dorms, we said goodnight and parted for the night.

“More confusing affection?” asked Jin as I passed the living room.

“No, I got sibling respect zoned” I pouted “said that I remind him of his older brother and shit. But if he’s a fool if he doesn’t think I won’t try to fuck his brother if/when he introduces us.”

“His brother is pretty hot not gonna lie” spoke up Yuka from the floor “get it girl! You got heirs to a lineage and estate in your hands if you do.”

“That’s the plan” I finger gun and everyone finger gunned me back “hehehe alright, I’ma go soak my schemin ass in the bath.”

-Monday, In Homeroom-

“Special announcement time kids!” firmly bellowed Diya “as you know, the sports festival is coming up and we don’t do that shit. And there’s a week off of school 2 weeks later, I’m very happy to announce our survival camp trip!” The class hollered in excitement “settle down! Now, it’s a huge deal among our program because theres a scoring bracket, for the guts and glory” Jin raises his hand “Yes Matsui?”

“Will 1st year and 3rd year be joining us?”

“No, 1st year is under qualified and 3rd year turned down the invite for practice tests” Diya responded “So its just us and B class. I’ll be passing out the list of gear you’ll need to pack for the trip after the sports festival weekend. Get ready for the most intense week of your life kids! You’ll wish you were never born.”

“Jokes on you, I already feel like that anyways” Hansai said with a tone of seriousness.

“Oof same” we all chimed in.

“Me too, Hansai, me too” Diya admitted with the rest of us “Now, on to other news! In vehicles and mechs, we’ll be learning to drive non-conventional escape vehicles! Hope you brought your helmets and kneepads! It’s gonna get weird.”

Mimi turns to Jin and I “I can’t wait until we go camping! I hope we see a bear.”

“I just want to see what the objective will be” I ponder “a rescue? a weapon capture? maybe a.... villain lair takedown?”

“Psh! we have experience with that!” Jin said as he mocked my fingers in snap position move “...you have to the count of 5 before I burn this place to the ground!”

Mimi mocks my pose that I did to Shigaraki “...if we catch you in our city again, I’ll be eating cereal out of your skull!”

I rolled my eyes and laughed “Guys stop! I was instilling fear in that Hand Man.”

“I know! But imagine being up in that bitch with our normal voices?!” Jin painted the picture for us “that hot villain would’ve instantly roasted us to ash. And if we managed to defeat him, oof nobody in that lair would’ve taken us seriously!”

“I really wanted that handsome man to intrude me” Mimi bit her lip “if you know what I mean fellas.”

“Mimi please! It’s only 1 hour into class” I scolded “save the sexual tension comments for lunch or some shit.”

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t show him a thing or two in the bedroom” sneered Mimi at me.

“Don’t at me like that” I got flushed “but yea, he’s so sexy and just perf. Too bad he works for that crusty ass of a man.”

“I lowkey want him to leave hand man” Jin sighed in disbelief “I get that he’s a villain and I shouldn’t be showing sympathy but the man is too handsome and powerful to be part of that group. Not to mention, he’s the only one we can’t find info on, where did he come from?”

“That’s what the lead at the agency told me too!” I perked up, remembering “there’s a handful of that blue flame quirk and they’re all in the same family, the Todoroki family. We think it’s the missing son, Touya, BUT it’s inconclusive.”

“Y’all really doing real agent work and shit at that agency” Mimi pouted “all I did was toss beached marine life back into the ocean and watch the lead get in a fist fight with a walrus.”

“That sounds like fun! All I did was freeze half to death and defrosted a gun” Jin added in protest to Mimi’s complaint “I didn’t learn shit! Hokkaido sucks in the winter.”

“Man I should’ve gone to Hokkaido” Mimi sighed tiredly “I love snow and cold weather, reminds me of home and my dad.”

Fast forward to the last half of vehicle and mechs class same day, shit starts to get crazy.

“Ya know, I’m having fun now but I’m gonna Mcfuckin suffer out in the field if this is my only option for escape” I say as I’m propelling myself on roller skates “my quirk isn’t built for speed and my little legs can’t do shit with these wheels.”

“Wanna trade then?” said Mimi stuffed in a go cart that’s barely droning on “I’m too tall for this shit.”

“Naw, that shit ain’t got brakes” 

We hear Jin scream in the distance as the rev of a 4-wheeler rips hard and accelerates. “That’s bullshit, Jin always gets the good gear and can’t handle it at the end” Mimi turns to me “You gonna go turbo and save him?”

“Nobody else is gonna do it” I groan “Where the fuck is Diya when you need him?!” I start to pick up speed to go rescue Jin from crashing the big, scary vroom vroom...for the 10th time this school year.

“You guys hear that?” said Mineta “it sounds like a runaway motor.”

“Shut up balls for brains!” yelled Bakugo “we have to finish this fucking group exercise before class ends or we’ll get late punishment!”

“No shhh! listen!” Sero hushes everyone to let them hear the noise “why does it sound like it’s getting closer?”

In comes Jin on a 4 wheeler through the open gym doors and out the other side, then I follow panting and on roller skates. “Aw fuck! Any yall get hurt?”

“No but what the fuck Palma-san?!” Kaminari screamed “I want to drive one of those things! You always get to do all the cool stuff.”

“Do you need help? Is your friend in trouble?!” asked Tokoyami.

“I need to go rescue him before he crashes or causes damage” I pant “but I’m stuck with these shitty wheels and I can’t run or levitate that fast to catch up!” I scan the room and see Iida “TENYA! I need you!” 

“Me? What do you need me for?” he said as he climbed down from a rope ladder.

“Let me copy your quirk” I put my hands out “its my only chance at catching up with him.”

“Of course! Here” he puts his face in my hands “anything for you Ita.”

Everyone looks as I sprout engines on my legs and ribs “Thanks! I owe you one Tenya!” I charge up my speed off “gotta blast!” I take off so fast, everyone almost missed me when they blinked. They all ran out the gym as they saw me catch up to Jin to turn off the 4-wheeler.

“Soooo, are we going to ignore the fact that she asked for Iida-kun in particular?” Sero spoke up, trying to start something “when she could’ve asked for Todoroki’s fire, Bakugo’s blasts, Mina’s acid, My tape, Tokoyami’s dark shadow or Aoyama’s laser to propel herself faster?” 

“YOU’RE RIGHT!” Kirishima gasped “Bro, she has a thing for you!” he elbowed Iida “ask her to be your girlfriend already! She already trusts you enough to help her.”

“Hmm I don’t know about this one guys” Midoriya spoke up after running some calculations in his head “Iida-kun’s engines are fast if used properly and she did spend the whole year refining our quirks for future use” he crosses his arms “I’m saying that she knows what’s best for any given situation.”

“Thank you Midoriya-kun” Iida fixes his glasses “she’s smart and uses what she has on hand, just because I like her doesn’t mean she likes me back.”

“Oh yea? Okay then, what did she give you on Valentines day?” Mineta interrogated Iida.

“She gave me a berry tart she baked herself in a nicely hand-decorated cake box.”

“And was this tart delicious?” Mineta’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes, everything she makes is delicious” he crossed his arms “I gave her my best compliments.”

“Iida-kun, you block head!” Hagakure scolded “when a girl gives you something like that, that means she likes you and you’re supposed to tell her how you feel” everyone agreed and she added “what did you tell her?”

“I said that I enjoyed her tart and that I’m very fortunate to have a friend like her to get such a gift” he said confidently but everyone was getting upset.

“Poor thing must’ve been heartbroken!” Momo gasped “why won’t you tell her how you feel? Most of your gestures toward her seem like you’re leading her on and it’s confusing.”

“Look I appreciate your concerns about me and Ita” he looks off in distance to see her riding the 4-wheeler back to where her class is “but I feel like her heart isn’t ready to take on my version of things” he remembers our past conversations “she’s really working on herself as a person and very hard at that. Since moving out of our dorms, she became a better student and agent, all because we aren’t there to pester her about crushes or other non-academic things. Trust me, I miss her and worry about her just as much as you do but” he sighs and turns to head back in the gym “I need to give her space so she can be happy with herself before she can be happy with me in the mix.”

“Bro that was so noble” Sero wiped a tear off his face “she’s the luckiest girl to have somebody like you.”

The school day is almost wrapped up for the day ,and for the hero A class, class let out early. Iida, Midoriya and Kirishima make their way to the East school exit when the sound of jazz music catches their attention.

“What soulful sound!” Midoriya perks up and points to a hallway “that has to be coming from the auditorium!” The boys walk toward the auditorium and take a peek through the half opened door. On stage was a Big Band arrangement of Palma-san and some of her classmates performing. “Oh wow, look at Palma-san! She’s in her element.”

“How can you tell?” Kirishima asked “I don’t see how performing for an empty room can be anyone’s element.”

“She’s doing that thing where she’s smiling while sings” Midoriya point out as she does it “also her voice is carrying, see? She’s not even microphoned but we heard her from the main hall.”

She finishes her song and there was 3 people clapping “Any requests?” Palma asks the audience.

“Yo! play Lovefool!” Mic requested enthusiastically “I dedicate it to Shota.”

“Aww how sweet” Midnight squealed “you’re a lucky man Shota to have such a romantic man!”

“I guess” Aizawa grumbled as he slumped in his sleeping bag to hide his big dumb smile.

“This song goes out to those stubborn loves” I count off the band to start “...Dear I fear we’re facing a problem...”

“Wow, I never noticed how much charm her voice is” Kirishima awed “it’s like it was made for entertainment! What do you think Iida-kun?”

He wasn’t paying attention to what Kirishima was saying, all his focus was on her singing and longing that the song was for him. “Hm? what did you say?” Iida finally said something after a minute.

“Looks like you’re entranced by her voice too huh?” Midoriya observed “it’s nothing to be embarrassed about Iida-kun. Just don’t wait too long on her” he points to Shinso and Monoma, who were in different parts of the auditorium doing the same thing, watching her from afar. “looks like you’re not the only one that can’t tell her their true feelings.”

“...I can’t care about anything, but you~” 

-End Chapter 24-

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#bnha #mha #self insert au #chapter 24 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #ya like jazz? #lmao but deadass #I'm one of those band kids