#everyone’s additions to this just add fuel to my obsessive fire

[incorrecttamendegushiquotes]

Okay, another imagine since I'm obsessed with those raskals....imagine tattletale having a sudden rebellious phase. Not sure what exactly triggers it, but one day he just...,,gets a wholeass makeover and arrives late for class. Everyone turns around and is like who tf is this.

Cut to awkwardness and cringe because the whole act comes very unattural to him, it's not who he is and he is obviously forcing it so he is literally acting like a caricature of how older people view teenagers.

That last sentence had me thinking about that one Steve Buscemi meme (hold please, while I go superimpose tattletale’s face onto a screencap of that scene real quick lmao). 

[Image of Steve Buscemi dressed as a teenager in a backwards cap and carrying a skateboard saying “How do you do, fellow kids?”]

But honestly that would be a very convincing gag with the groundwork Tan Jiu’s done establishing him as a character who is irritated by Qi Fang’s accomplishments and popularity. 

Tattletale truly is such an enjoyable character and I truly would love to see more of him. He’s certainly my favorite side character (which is saying something considering my great love of Qin Xiong and his upperclassman). This is rapidly becoming a giant character analysis on Tattletale so I’m going to tack on a ‘keep reading tab’ and continue.

If you’re reading this then for whatever reason you’ve decided to indulge my ramblings and have henceforth won my affections forever, whatever that’s worth lmao. 

The trope involving the strait-laced, studious character who’s annoyed by a classmate who naturally has all of the assets they lack (e.g. social clout, charisma) in addition to academic excellence (read: the one thing they prided themselves in) is one that has been done to death but is also one I am a complete sucker for.

 I reckon most of us (with the obvious exception of, say, Beyoncé) have encountered someone who is better at us at something we are good at and know how devastating that can be, especially if you pin a large part of your identity around it. 

That sort of reality check is as true-to-life as it is entertaining to read about. Add that to the fact that, in DnD terms, Tattletale is the lawful good (student officer, moral exemplar) to Sun Jing and Qi Fang’s chaotic good (class clowns, troublemakers) and *shenanigans ensue*. 

No[t only that, Tattletale is a genuine, good-hearted person who always strives to do the right thing even if the results are often comical.

[Image of the last two panels of chapter 33 of Tamen de Gushi featuring Tattletale]

 Ironically his earnestness is probably a large part of why he doesn’t have the same appeal (at least on the surface level) to his foil in Qi Fang, who has thus far been portrayed as fairly aloof and disinterested in gaining good grades and popularity, but gets them anyway because he’s just that cool. This dynamic is also quite common in rom-coms as the competition, perceived or otherwise, often serves as an impetus for romantic tension build-up (Last Game, Special A, Kaguya-sama, Kaichou Wa Maid-sama, etc.) which I suspect is what fuels the fire for a lot of shipping of Tattletale and Qi Fang in the TDG fandom. Add on the fact that the two have great chemistry from what little we’ve seen of them interacting in TDG and, oh look --- the ship has left the harbor!

Whether you perceive Qi Fang and Tattletale’s relationship as romantic or not you’ve got to admit they have amazing back-and-forth dialogue and, like it or not, there is undeniably some queer subtext there too. I mean, come ON--- 

But I digress. The point I was trying to make before I quickly got sidetracked in my need to gush about Tattletale, is this: I love this imagine and think it would be very on-brand for Tattletale to try to pull off a more ‘cool’ persona and dress up in, for example, streetwear fashion in an attempt to rebel and separate himself from his reputation as the serious student officer:

But of course this wouldn’t work as his classmates are already acquainted with who he is and would see through him. While they’re undoubtedly fond of him and would probably be amused by his attempt to be rebellious it would of course not have the desired reaction because as you said it would be clear this would not be natural for him. Gosh I love imagining these scenarios, anon please feel free to submit them whenever you’d like because they are SO GREAT. 

☆ Mod Sasha

#tamen de gushi #their story #tattletale #anon headcanons

[oharaswife]

From Hate To Love - Alex Morgan x Reader - Chapter 1

A/N : Hello people, welcome to my new Alex x Reader story. To sum it up a little it will be an “enemies to lovers” kind of story with a lot of angst and drama. R is the new girl on the USWNT and for some reason Alex doesn’t like her at all, mostly because she thinks she’s an arrogant person, who loves breaking women’s heart aka a massive fuckboy. Also this is before the WC.

WORD COUNT : 3.2K

Warnings : Angst, light swearing

Anyway, hope you’ll like it.

ENJOY

When Alex first saw Y/N Y/LN, it was on her TV as she was introduced to the world as the newest addition to the USWNT. She remembered thinking that having a new talented attacking midfielder could only be a good thing. But after 5 minutes in the interview, her excitement turned into dread and slight anger. She knew the second she saw the smug look on the new player’s face that she wasn’t going to like her. She reeked of cockiness despite her clear lack of experience and that only infuriated Alex. Plus, the fact that she was depicted by the media as “The soccer player the USWNT desperately needed” only seemed to add fuel to the fire. Maybe they weren’t playing to the best of their abilities lately, but that didn’t mean they desperately needed someone new. Alex wasn’t jealous of the new girl, only hurt over the fact that her - and her teammates - had worked their asses off to get to where they were today, only to have all their work thrown out the window because some random 25 yo girl posted videos of herself humiliating people in amateur friendly games. How does a girl who’s never played a game on a professional level - or in any club related team for that matter - become a professional soccer player overnight, worse even, how does she get propelled to a national team without being properly tested beforehand? Part of her hated Ashlyn for showing a compilation of the girl’s feats to Jill who, shockingly, immediately took it upon herself to make her a part of the National Team as soon as possible. But another part of her, a very small part though, felt that the girl could be an asset to the team, at least on the field.

When she first met her, Alex promised Kelley she’d tried to be nice, having shared with her best friend her growing dislike for the girl. But the second the midfielder spoke to her, hatred started bubbling up in her guts again. “Hey gorgeous.” She had greeted her, a smirk on her face, which only angered Alex, because who says that when they meet their future “co-worker” for the first time. She still shook her hand, introducing herself quickly before instantly establishing a distance between them both, which Y/n didn’t seem to mind, or notice. During the two weeks that followed Alex barely spoke to the girl, unless it was on the field or during trainings. Her other teammates though had all grown really close to her, which caused Alex to isolate herself sometimes since they all gravitated around the new midfielder as if she was the new star of their galaxy. Even her own girlies Allie and Kelley seemed to have fallen for her, too busy flirting with her sometimes to notice Alex, which the latter didn’t get at all. How could they be friends with her when she enjoyed toying with women’s feelings? In just a few days, Alex had seen Y/N flirt with every woman she came across. She’d lost count of how many women she’d seen walking out of Y/N’s room when morning would come. Maybe she was a bit jealous of the attention the girl was getting all the time, but only because she felt like she was left on the sidelines most of the time. The only person she could talk to was Servando. Granted he wasn’t physically with her most of the time, but he was always there to listen to her when she needed it, even though she spent most of her time complaining about Y/N.

When Orlando Pride offered Y/N a deal with them, Alex lost it, complaining to Kelley about it this time.

“I have to put up with her smug face and consistent flirting with everyone on the National Team, I don’t need that in my club as well.” Alex had yelled, her anger getting the best out of her.

“Chill, Al. You don’t even know if she’s gonna sign with Orlando. She said she received a lot of offers from different clubs.” Kelley answered her, plopping on the couch next to her.

“Well I hope she goes to play in Europe, where I don’t have to see her. I can’t stand her.” Alex shot angrily.

“Why though? I think she’s pretty cool, and super-hot.” Kelley replied absentmindedly, but regretted her words instantly as she saw the glare Alex sent her way. She chose to drop the subject knowing how Alex would get whenever her name was mentioned. It wasn’t until a few days later, at another press conference that Y/N announced that she would be signing with the Thorns, much to Sonnett and Tobin’s pleasure, who felt like they’d found a sister in Y/N. Alex was only happy because she wouldn’t have to see her that often hopefully.

For now though, she was going to have to be around her for a month, as the January camp was starting today, to prepare for the 2019 World Cup in France.

Alex was happy to see most of her best friends again, at least the ones she didn’t get to see in the past month, but was secretly hoping they wouldn’t be obsessing over Y/N like last time. She was one of the first ones to arrive to the hotel. The team soon started arriving in groups, depending on where they were playing the rest of the year. The first ones to arrive were the Royal girls and Alex was excited to see Kelley again, especially without Y/N being around to steal her away, to steal anyone away for that matter.

ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

The fact that I was rooming with my best friend did help, maybe we’d get to hang out as much as we used to, at least I hoped so. I didn’t know exactly when Y/N arrived, but since Tobin and Christen knocked on our door to say hi, I assumed the new Portland player was here as well. It wasn’t until we made our way to dinner that I saw her. She was in the hotel lobby with the rest of the girls, probably waiting for Preath, Kelley and I so we could all go and eat out, to catch up. She was in the midst of a hug with Julie when her eyes fell on me or more like on us. A small smirk made its way to her face while I just rolled my eyes, seeing Kelley sprint towards the girl and jump into her arms, engulfing her in a hug. Dread overcame me as I got closer.

“Hey Alex.” was all she said as she saw me, no unwanted compliments or sweet names which made me frown slightly. She usually couldn’t help but use pet names with me, no matter how much I hated it, or her for the matter.

“Hi.” I answered, not wanting to be impolite.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Kelley give her a thumbs up, making Y/N roll her eyes.

“What was that about?” I questioned Kelley. But got no real answer from her, she just shrugged her shoulders before we all started walking outside. I made a mental note to ask about it again later, not wanting to drop the subject, especially if it had something to do with me.

—

Dinner went surprisingly well, at least at first. I was more involved in the conversation than last time we all were together, as Y/N spent practically the whole lunch talking to Sonny, Megan and Ashlyn. But of course, she had to ruin everything again. In the middle of dinner, she got up as the girls started cheering her on, causing the rest of us to look her way. She walked towards the bar, with her typical smug grin on her face. She turned around sending a quick wink to Megan before she reached the bar.

“What’s going on?” Kelley asked as the cheers died down and everyone started looking intently in the direction of the bar.

“She said that the bartender was beautiful, so we dared her to get her number in less than 3 minutes.” Sonnett answered before adding. “Which I’m pretty sure is impossible.” She added before checking the timer on Megan’s phone, ready to yell LOSER the second it would reach three minutes.

Why she always had to be such a fuckboy was something I didn't get. All I knew was that it was pissing me off. It seemed like everything she did was angering me, and I had no control over it. I was hoping she’d get rejected but as I saw the flirtatious smile on the bartender’s face, I groaned earning a confused look from Kelley. Before we even had the time to process it, she was returning to the table, faintly smirking as Megan stopped the timer.

“Sooo?” Ashlyn started wiggling her eyebrows. “Did you get it?”

Y/N stepped closer to look at the timer before her smirk turned into a grin, nodding her head.

“And it only took 2 minutes.” She shot arrogantly, as she proceeded to show the new marked phone number on her forearm, with the name Leana written next to it.

“Nothing to be proud about.” I heard myself say before I could even process it causing everyone to look at me.

“Al-” Kelley started probably trying to get me to back off, but she instantly got interrupted by Y/N.

“Why not?” She shot at me, with a daring look on her face.

“Well I don’t think you should be proud to be a fuckboy.” I answered truthfully, tired of having to stay civil with her. Weirdly enough, that brought a smile to her face as the rest of the girls just glared at me.

“You should probably stop talking now Janice.” Allie said. Even she was siding with her apparently which only fuelled my anger more.

“No, I’m curious. What’s a fuckboy to you?” She asked resting her chin on her hand, as she looked at me intently, her trademark smirk not leaving her face even for a second. I looked at her, as if questioning if she actually wanted an answer, but she only looked at me like she was amused.

“Well to make it short, a fuckboy is someone who doesn’t respect women, and doesn’t care about their feelings. Someone who only cares about sex and is self-absorbed. Someone who doesn’t actually have a heart and doesn’t care how many she breaks. That’s literally you.” I answered proudly, sure of myself and that seemed to make her face fall slightly.

“Alex for fuck’s sake.” Ali shot, clearly angry at me now, her head falling into her hands. But I didn't back down, I was only speaking the truth.

“Well it’s good to know what you really think about me at last.” She said after some time. I was waiting for her to retort, deny or maybe proudly admitting that she enjoyed being a player but none of that came. Instead, she eventually got up, excused herself, telling the girls she’s meet them at the hotel, and got up before leaving without another word leaving me confused.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ashlyn shot, anger winning her over. They were all glaring at me, absolutely all of them, some were fuming more than the others. Even Christen who is the literal embodiment of peace, was looking at me with hatred.

“I’m only speaking the truth.” I retorted, shrugging my shoulders.

“No you’re not.” Tobin interfered. “You don’t even know her. You’ve never made an effort to actually talk to her. So how would you know if she respects women or not or if she has a heart.” Disappointment was written all over her face much to my surprise.

“I honestly didn’t peg you for the petty kind of person.” Sonnett finally shot before everyone focused on their lunch again, in silence this time, because of me.

—————

READER’S POINT OF VIEW

Heading back to the hotel, Alex’s words resonated in my mind. I knew she didn’t like me that much, I just had no idea why until today. It was stupid of me to ask Kelley what I could do to make her like me more, not enjoying the fact that there was tension between me and my teammate. But clearly, she had an opinion of me and didn’t want it to change, so why should I try anymore. I walked back to my room, taking a quick shower before I walked up to the roof, knowing I would find comfort staring at the stars, or more like I’d get lost in them and forget what happened. I sat down, leaning against the wall on the roof and lost myself in my thoughts. It did hurt a little that Alex would think that about me, because after all she never actually talked to me. We only ever said hi to each other, never speaking more than 2 words to each other, unless it was soccer related. Had she actually talked to me, she would know that I do respect women, that I care deeply about women, but yes, loving someone was something else. I had a complicated story, but she wasn’t interested enough to ask for it, or hear it for the matter. Maybe I should just keep my distance and stop trying to get her to like me eventually. I didn’t know how long I stayed here, lost in my thoughts. It wasn’t until I heard the roof door opening that I brought my attention back to my surroundings.

“There you are.” I heard a voice say, before seeing Kelley walk towards me, followed by Ashlyn and Ali.

“Hey guys.” I answered tiredly, actually exhausted.

“We’ve been calling you non-stop.” Ali pointed to my phone that was lying on the floor as she sat down next to me, a worried look on her face.

“Sorry I got lost in my thoughts I guess.” I replied apologetically, as Ali rested her head on my shoulder, the other two sitting in front of me.

“You know you shouldn’t pay attention to what Alex says. I don’t know why she feels this way about you but deep down she’s not a bad person.” Kelley defended making me scoff.

“Yeah allow me to doubt that.” I said before adding quickly. “I don’t care guys really. I’ve had worse things said to me. I just won’t try anymore that’s all.” I lied. Of course I have had worse things said to me, but on a deeper level, I did care about what the forward thought about me. And obviously Ali knew I did.

“You do care Y/N.” She pointed. “You told me you used to idolize her. So, it would be normal to be hurt by her behaviour.”

“Maybe, but I’m not a kid. I’ll get over it.” I replied before getting up, ready to go back to my room as it was late. I saw the sad looks they exchanged before they all followed me out of the roof, and back to our floor we were staying on.

Tiredly dragging my feet, I was surprised when I saw Alex standing in front of the room I shared with Sonny. She looked at me ready to speak but I walked past her, opening the door turning around at the last second.

“Let’s not pretend we’re ever going to like each other. You don’t like me, and honestly the feeling is mutual, so let’s just stay professional and only speak to each other when necessary. I honestly don’t give a shit about what you think about me. And trust me you don’t want to know what I think about you.” I shot angrily, not giving her the time to say anything, before I turned to the girls who were previously with me on the roof. “Goodnight ladies.” And with that I slammed the door in her face, not giving a shit anymore. She thought I didn’t care about my actions possibly hurting the women around me, I was going to show how much that statement would apply to her.

————

Alex’s point of view

Having the door slammed in my face hurt more than I liked to admit. I wasn’t used to her being angry and upset. She usually always had a smile on her lips, even though it always seemed arrogant. I turned to the three girls who looked at me as if to say “You brought that upon yourself.” And without saying anything I walked back to my room, heading straight for bed, the images of the anger on her face filling my head. She obviously wasn’t used to girls not going her way, and not falling for her instantly. I wasn’t going to be one of her groupies, that was for sure. Here I was, going to apologize for being an asshole, and she was the one who ended up acting like one.

“You know you could actually talk to her.” Kelley said as she walked in the room. “I’m sure you would like her.” She added and that caused a wholehearted laugh to escape me.

“Yeah I don’t think so.” I answered making her roll her eyes.

“I’m pretty sure you like her, but she just infuriates you on some level, the only question is why.” Kelley added as she slipped into bed to which I didn’t answer with anything, not wanting to elaborate any more than I had to. I didn’t like her. I was in a happy relationship with Servando. The new girl just got under my skin and there was nothing I could do to stop that.

To be continued...

A/N : That ends our first chapter. There’s a lot of angst planned for this whole story but eventually the relationship between R and Alex will evolve.

Next chapter, there’s trouble in paradise for Alex and Servando, and a looooot more of jealous Alex in store. (Maybe some jealous R as well)

I live off feedback so let me know if you liked it !

-Kat

#uswnt fiction #uswnt #uswntsoccer #woso #women’s soccer #alex morgan x reader #alex morgan imagines #uswnt imagines #alex morgan #imagines

[prorevenge]

Punching my district inspector in the Solar-Plexus.

PART 1:

When I was a 15 year old girl, I worked at a major donut shop chain in Canada (yes, you know the one). There are more of these shops than McDonalds there, everyone goes there. It's like a cult.

I used to work at a corporate store that trained new franchisees (and retrained old ones that were cutting corners, yikes) in addition to our regular operations. I used to train franchisees how to operate the back end baking shift from 4 AM until noon. I loved my work! I loved meeting new people, I loved showing them the process, I loved my company, I loved my two managers, it was great. Except when it came to my inspector, lets call her "Mary".

Mary was a district inspector and she had it in for all of us there. Our staff would see her red car in the parking lot and scramble to tidy up. She loved coming in when we were slammed, with a line up out the door, tables needing to be cleared, donuts flying off the racks and everyone just trying to keep up (never mind taking your break). People used to freak when they saw her car pull up. She was slim with big, curly orange hair, and a mean streak. She was an in-house inspector that worked for corporate and she seemed to really enjoy her job, marking faults and handing her reports to our managers for them to file. She enjoyed her work until she came into the kitchen when I was working (which was most days). She hated it when I worked.

Because I had to train people all the time, I had to keep a clean kitchen with everything stocked, because it needed to be ready for the next shift where I trained people. It was also in great shape because the cleaning and refilling and prepping and operating the kitchen to code was what I did with the franchisees while training them! It more or less took care of itself. It also didn't hurt that I was a perfectionist. Mary did not seem to like that at all. She would find any excuse to dock me points. I think she was a little obsessed with it. She would go to great lengths to catch me screwing up. Even my managers (who were regularly rotated through other stores) felt bad for me, they said they've never seen that happen to anyone else like that. Mary would get irritated when she couldn't find much to report, but because she never wanted to give a perfect pass, oh she would look! She would pull out heavy, old, out of circulation mixers from the bottom shelves and run her hands along the back to check for dust. HA! Mary! I wipe that sh*t on the regular! It must had made her blood boil.

She would always come down to docking me points for my shoes. My shoes were dark navy, not black, and therefore were not uniform compliant. I couldn't afford to buy work shoes (making minimum wage and all). Every time she visited, she would condescendingly point them out, tell me how I should know better, imply that I'm lucky she didn't pursue it, dock me the points, and drop off the paperwork to my managers with a smug smile. Bonus if she could find a cobweb, that would be in the report too.

I hated her. She almost brought me to tears when she'd do this. She knew how proud I was and how seriously I took my job. She just couldn't let me have that. I was also was so confused by it, because I had had no negative history with her. I really took it personally. At the time I was also the type of person that would beat myself up over things and was really critical of myself, so this was put a lot of fuel on the fire. Maybe she felt I would make her look bad if she gave a perfect score. I will never know.

PART 2:

I had been taking Taekwondo at that time. I had an athletic background when I initially started, so I advanced quickly and was competing quite early for my belt level. During class we would do our warm ups, patterns, and finish by partnering up and practicing holds, throws, self defense, sparring, etc. Occasionally, when new students wanted to try a class, this is where they would join so that they could interact with other students. We didn't rubberneck to see who came in, our instructor would just announce it and and choose someone to pair with them. A lot of students didn't like partnering with newbies because it was boring. Although I would've rather trained with someone more advanced than me, I didn't mind being patient with a new student. My instructor welcomed a Mary to the class and directed me to pair up with her. I turned around and holy sh*t, there she was. I think we both had the same thought: Oh my god, is this really happening right now? This is totally happening right now! AAAAH!

It was surreal. Like I was dreaming. I just kept staring at her and thinking blankly "w...t....f..."

During class I got to show her how to defend against an attack from the rear, where you drop down to lower your center of gravity, rear elbow strike the assailant in the gut, grab their arm and use your leverage to flip them over your shoulder and onto their back on the hard ground in front of you. Then kneel on them to pin them while striking them in the solar-plexus. I demonstrated that to her over and over... and over. I might also add that I killed her with kindness while doing so (not just because it was so enjoyable to witness, but because I'm not the type to be mean in that situation anyway). I encouraged her to demonstrate on me too, and would correct her and have her try again (which, let's be honest, was completely ineffective because she didn't know what she was doing). I would say things like: "Almost got it, Mary, you just need to lower yourself like THIS so you can flip the attacker like THIS!" wham. On her back again.

That was a good 30 mins, but I guarantee it felt longer for her.

The day after I ran into work screaming, "YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIIIIIGHT!" My managers were giddy like children and it was high fives all around. Mary came back for a few more classes (which was shocking). My instructor paired us every time. I think he saw how enthusiastic and patient I was with her and wanted to foster that relationship. Every morning after Taekwondo, my managers would want the updates immediately, "How was it? Tell me all about it! What did you get to do to her this time!? Do an impression of her! Show me what her face was like!"

Mary dropped out after about 4 weeks. Maybe less. It was a grand effort, Mary!

I rarely even saw her at my work anymore. I think she used to time her visits around my shift or my break. Sometimes I thought I saw her car driving out of the parking lot and my managers would tell me that yes, that was her, and my report would be just left on a table in the back.

She never docked points on me again. That shit was perfect.

(source) (story by Rabbitgrey248)

#prorevenge #by Rabbitgrey248 #pro revenge #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

[obsidianarchives]

To All The Wizards: The Trial Run

As it turned out, committing to a fake relationship couldn’t have come at a better time. Spending her time with Dean gave Hermione a valid reason to be unavailable to engage in Harry’s obsessing. It was becoming increasingly clear that Katie Bell wouldn’t be returning to Hogwarts before the start of winter break. These unfortunate tidings had given new fuel to Harry’s speculations about Draco Malfoy. He was determined to pursue his own ideas on the subject rather than trusting Professor Dumbledore and the Order, and no amount of logic from Hermione seemed to sway him.

That wasn’t to say she had gotten accustomed to the idea of having a fake boyfriend. To the contrary, she was stumbling through the whole thing. This seemed to escape everyone’s notice, because Dean was graciously picking up her slack. No one noticed her discomfort on Day One as they saw him handing her a note embellished with sketches, or when he was holding her hand in between classes, or studying closely with her in the common room; the gossip spread itself.

Dean was a lot more skilled in his art than she remembered. The two notes he had presented her thus far were usually just a series of doodles or cartoons. Her favorite was a cartoon of Professor Slughorn and Harry. In the sketch, Professor Slughorn was cartoonishly short and Harry wore a superhero cape that read “Chosen One.” The speech bubble above Professor Slughorn’s head read “50 points to Gryffindor, Harry, my boy for being such a splendid Chosen One.”

Two days into the arrangement, Hermione found herself crossing paths with Luna and Ginny. Hermione and Ginny didn’t speak often when they were at school, having such vastly different schedules and social circles. However, they had always been on friendly terms when they saw each other outside of class. Trying her best to feign normalcy, she squared her shoulders, resolving to move forward just like she would if she were in a real relationship. Besides, she had her own predictions about Ginny’s feelings for Harry.

“Good morning, Hermione!” Luna said cheerily as they approached each other in the corridor.

Hermione smiled at Luna, returning the greeting. Luna was almost dressed normally, draped in her winter cloak, except for the headband with silver antlers that adorned her head. “Good morning, Ginny,” Hermione added, smiling directly at Ginny.

Ginny allowed the slightest of smiles that didn’t meet her eyes to pass over her features in response, before prompting Luna, “We should hurry before we’re late for Charms.”

“Good-bye, Hermione!” Luna called as Ginny dragged her by the sleeve of her cloak without another word.

Had she been wrong? She had felt so sure about Ginny’s renewed feelings for Harry. Surely they would supersede whatever remaining feelings she had for Dean. Dread continued to gnaw at Hermione as the week went on. The thought of being romantic rivals with Ginny Weasley, who was popular and beautiful in ways that she wasn’t, just didn’t appeal to her. But this was the risk she took.

The plan did seem to be working. That she could tell, Ron hadn’t told Harry anything about his note, nor had he tried to approach her again. They were mostly back to where they were before – ignoring each other. She did find his blue eyes staring at her more often, especially when Dean was with her. Dean was immediately perceptive to this. When he noticed, he would put his arm around her or lean down to whisper something silly in her ear to make her laugh. Every time she would glance back at Ron, watching with satisfaction when he looked away, ears glowing red.

Possibly, it was Seamus’ reaction that had been the most surprising. The first night they had sat all together at dinner he immediately launched into news of Ireland’s most recently injured Quidditch player. This hadn’t bothered Hermione. She sat next to the two boys, fully intending to let them get on with it and get more reading done.

“Oi! If you’re going to date Dean, I have a few rules.”

Hermione looked up from her book bag in surprise. What other rules could he want to add on top of the contract she and Dean had agreed to?

“No reading at dinner. I don’t want to be reminded that we’re at school while I’m eating my roast.” Dean was biting back laughter at the look of astonishment on her face and signaled to Seamus that he had no objections. “Secondly, you have to help me with my Transfiguration studies.”

“Oh, is that all?” Hermione asked incredulously, her eyebrows raised. Dean was now laughing in earnest.

“Yes, it would hardly be fair for me to flunk out of my N.E.W.T.s classes while Dean aces everything, all because he’s dating Hermione Granger.”

“That’s all well and good mate, but Hermione is the smartest witch in our year, not a miracle worker.” Dean ducked as Seamus moved to hit him over the head, laughing at his own good burn.

“Alright, I’ll help you with whatever subjects you need. May I stay?” Hermione asked sarcastically.

“Yes, you may,” he said in what she supposed was meant to be a stuffy English accent. It came out a bit more cockney than anything.

“No. Nope. We agreed no more English accents from you,” Dean said as he threw his arm around Hermione’s shoulders.

After that, Dean and Seamus brought her into the fold as if she belonged there, rather than like a third-wheel to two best-friends. That she could remember, Ginny hadn’t spent much time with Seamus and Dean. It was always Dean accompanying her with her friends. It suited Hermione just fine. It meant she was spending less time listening to Harry go on about the Prince and Malfoy – and less time around Ron.

—

By that Friday, they had fallen into a sort of routine. It was the first sunny day they’d had in weeks and the bright blue of the Great Hall enchanted ceiling shined accordingly. When Hermione approached the Gryffindor Table at the end of the lunch break, she expected to find Dean and Seamus locked in conversation about the latest upset win by the Chudley Cannons, but was surprised to find Dean by himself.

“Seamus went to post a letter to his mum,” Dean said without her prompting.

She sat next to him as he finished up his meal. She had spent most of her lunch in the library, searching for the book, Forget Me Not: the Metaphysical Structure of Memory Charms, that Professor Flitwick had mentioned in their lesson that morning. She wanted to check it out for some additional reading before anyone else could beat her to the Restricted Section copy.

“Are you going to eat?”

She grabbed an apple off the table and smiled. “This will do for me. Are you ready?”

He grabbed her book bag as they got up from the table. In addition to the things they had agreed upon in the contract, Dean had insisted that he carry her books to all the classes they shared. They’d argued over it, but he ultimately won. She’d thought of pointing out that this might be exactly what Ginny meant when she said he was too chivalrous, but she knew that wouldn’t be tactful.

“Blimey!” he said as he swung the bag over his shoulder in a way that she thought was surprisingly effortless. “Have you considered going easy on the boulders?”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you I can charm it to make it feather-light. I only keep the weight because it helps me to remember whether I’ve forgotten something or not.”

He looked at her with amazement before sighing, resigned to his duty. “No. If I’m going to be your boyfriend, I have to do the thing right.”

The corridors were full of students rushing to their first class of the afternoon block. Hermione did her best to operate like everything was normal. This isn’t normal, though. She should be walking to class with Harry and Ron. Dean’s hand shouldn’t be gently resting on the small of her back as they walked. There shouldn’t be so many people whispering and staring in their direction.

“No running in the corridors, Nguyen!” she called after a Slytherin third year who was often causing trouble. Ignoring the additional stares this earned them, she moved her curls over her shoulder exposing her prefect badge.

“Got to admit, I didn’t expect our little charade would garner quite this much attention,” Dean said to her under his breath.

“Surely you’re used to this, girls are almost always looking at you.”

Dean’s face flushed. “Not like this they don’t,” he said in a mumble. “Is this what it’s like to be part of the ‘Golden Trio,’ then? People whispering over everything you do?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and Hermione felt herself relax a little without his pressure of his hand on her lower back.

“Well, I suppose Harry garners a lot of attention, so, in that way it seems like people are always watching you. But that’s different.”

Lots of girls swooned over Harry’s appearance, and everyone else was constantly speculating about the Boy Who Lived and the implications of him being the Chosen One. It was him they were watching, not her.

“Come off it. You’re Hermione Granger, the witch widely regarded as the brightest of her age, and you really think people don’t pay attention to you?” At this, he lazily tilted his head in the direction of a cluster of second years who seemed to be talking animatedly while repeatedly glancing at her.

Dean smirked. She blinked a few times in surprise. “Coincidence.”

She wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

—

By Tuesday, she was exhausted. Her time was split between pretending to be Dean’s not-so-very doting girlfriend and keeping up with her actual studies. She hardly had any time for relaxing on her own. Her mother and Viktor both had sent letters she hadn’t yet had time to read. She resolved that in the evening she would make time to relax by a fire and finish them. If she was lucky, she might even have time for a bit of knitting.

Potions proved to be further trying on her nerves. They had spent the class finishing their Calming Draughts. Hermione’s was nearly perfect, Professor Slughorn had said so himself. However, the shimmer of the silvery liquid was slightly too bright. The subtlety with which Harry’s potion shimmered and swirled was masterful, and it infuriated Hermione that she agreed with that assessment. Of course, Harry accepted all of the praise and house points without mentioning that he hadn’t actually completed the assignment as it had been instructed.

She stormed out of the classroom, irritated with the whole thing. Despite her very best efforts, meticulous attention to the instructions, and hours spent bent over the cauldron, she was still being bested by that dumb Prince. Calm and steady, Hermione, she told herself as she strode away from the classroom. She had scheduled time to relax for herself, she shouldn’t let that “book” ruin it.

“Hermione, wait!” It was Dean. She felt a little guilt creep over her for leaving him without a word, even if she wasn’t actually obligated to. If this had bothered him, he didn’t say. Instead he said. “Harry’s running Quidditch practice after afternoon block to get some flying in before the break.”

“Is he mad? It has to be five degrees outside.”

“It’s eight and it’s the warmest day we’ve had in weeks.” He shook his head dismissively. “Anyway, I want you to come and watch after you’re done with History of Magic.”

“Oh good, you’re mad, too,” Hermione said while laughing. Then she said in a low voice, “I agreed to Quidditch matches and the next match isn’t until February, assuming Katie isn’t back by then.”

“First of all,” he began, also in a lowered voice, “If Katie comes back, you still have to attend, you’ll just be my date. Secondly, while it’s not in the contract it’s a great opportunity. Both our Weasleys will be there together and you can be sure Lavender will be too.”

She glared at him. Did he not understand? She needed this break. “I have plans and they don’t include freezing my arse off in the stands!”

Dean looked as if he was trying to bite back laughter. The few students that were filing past them gave them strange looks. Attempting a straight face, he took a step closer to her, leaving only a few inches between them. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Language, Madame Prefect.”

Before she could retort, he pulled away. Her face felt hot. That was the closest they had been to each other since their last kiss. The past two weeks had been emotionally draining on her, which had to be why she was feeling so flustered. Plus, Dean was tall and his handsome brown eyes were twinkling down at her. Who could tell him no?

“This will be our only real opportunity to make a real appearance in front of both of them before holiday break,” he said imploringly. “We can spend the rest of the evening by the fire, if you’d like.”

“Alright,” Hermione said begrudgingly. Then she added over her shoulder as she turned to walk to History of Magic, “I’m still going to bring some work to keep me busy!”

Dean only laughed and shook his head in response before turning on his way towards the staircase.

—

After Professor Binn’s lecture, Hermione made a quick stop to the girl’s dormitory in order to change into some Muggle clothes and a Muggle coat. While her winter cloak was heavy enough for the weather outside, the wind usually found a way into the billowy fabric. Changing took a bit longer than she had expected. Crookshanks was lying stubbornly on her trunk where she kept her Muggle clothes.

“Crookshanks, off.”

He refused to move, bright yellow eyes staring at her defiantly.

She sighed and picked him up to set him on the floor. He was peeved at the lack of attention she was giving him. Well, she told herself that, but he typically only wanted her attention for treats anyway.

Once Crookshanks was sorted, Hermione headed to the Quidditch pitch. It was a blustery cold day.

“‘Eight degrees,’” she grumbled to herself as she hugged herself against the wind.

Luckily the sun still hung in the late-afternoon sky, which would give her enough light to read her mum and Viktor’s letters by.

As she approached the pitch, she could see the Gryffindor team already going through some warm-ups about 15 meters in the air. Hermione shook her head disapprovingly as she ascended the steps of the stands. Choosing to ride a broom for amusement always seemed to her, a Muggle-born, to be needlessly reckless.

She was surprised to find that Lavender was in fact not in the stands. The only explanation could be Ron’s interference because Lavender, when left to her own devices, didn’t leave his side except at night to sleep. The stands weren’t completely empty, though. A few rows up sat Seamus, waving her over enthusiastically.

“There you are! I didn’t think you’d come. I thought you didn’t like Quidditch?” he said through chattering teeth. His breath came out in puffs of fog.

With a sigh she resigned herself to the fact that she wouldn’t be able to read her letters here with Seamus so near. It might look a little odd for Dean’s girlfriend to be in correspondence with an international Quidditch player with whom she was once romantically involved.

“I don’t, but Dean does. So, here I am!” She tried her best to sound cheery about the being there. She grimaced. Try as she might, she wouldn’t be able to fake that kind of enthusiasm for a boy. Lavender might be able to teach her a thing or two on that front.

The winter sun hung low over the horizon. A shiver coursed through her and she noticed that Seamus’ teeth had not stopped chattering since she sat down. Figuring there was no sense in being miserable and bored while they watched the Gryffindors practice, she pulled out her wand. With a few quick movements of her wrist she had conjured a few glass jars and subsequently three bluebell flames to fill them.

Seamus looked at her aghast as she handed him a jar. “How did you do that? You conjured all of that so quickly. I feel like I blinked and then there it was!”

Hermione sighed with frustration as she set the second jar between them, taking the third in her own hands for warmth. “Yes, but I muttered the spell out of habit. I’ve been trying my best to achieve 100% non-verbal incantations.”

“You’ve got me beat then! I hardly ever use non-verbal incantations outside of class. S’pose you’re the top in the class for a reason.”

Before Hermione could chastise him for taking non-verbal spellwork so lightly, a whistle blew. It appeared the team was done with their warm-up. Harry was instructing everyone on the plays they’d be running. Before flying to his position, Dean flew by the stands, winking at her as he passed. Sheepishly she waved at him, aware that his sudden maneuver had caught the entire team’s attention. To her satisfaction, Ron was glowering at Dean. That’s not the point of this, she reminded herself. This was about proving she didn’t have feelings for Ron, although she did.

With what Hermione could tell was an eye roll, Harry blew his whistle, setting the play in motion. At first, Hermione watched on with vague disinterest. Then, as she watched the team moving about the field, play after play, some dynamics began to stand out.

Firstly, she realized that Dean was good, really good. Ginny and Demelza were quicker than him from what Hermione could tell, but he could throw farther and could out maneuver his teammates. He weaved in and out of the formations with deft ease. She could tell that Harry’s reflexes were superior to Dean’s, likely due to him being the Seeker, but Ritchie Cootes didn’t even come close to touching Dean with a Bludger as they ran through each drill.

“He’s so good!” Hermione said equal parts impressed and stunned.

“Yeah he is. Shame about the tryouts. He wasn’t on his best game.” Seamus shrugged staring at his friend as Dean tossed the Quaffle effortlessly past Ron in the center hoop. “When competition’s thick, you can’t ever be off your game.”

What was more, Ginny was also flying really well. She had improved even from the last match. Watching Ginny and Dean fly together, there was no denying they made a good team, whatever their issues were off the pitch. They worked through Harry’s drills and plays without issue, predicting each other’s movements as they flew up and down the pitch. They were totally in sync. Ginny tossed the Quaffle up in the air right as she reached the center goal post, and Dean appeared above head, catching it. He threw it down through the hoop from an angle, taking Ron by surprise, making it nearly impossible for him to block.

“Fair play, mate!” Seamus shouted clapping his gloved hands together.

Ron, on the other hand, was flying abysmally. She hadn’t seen him fly this badly in a long time.

“He’s really is off his game, today. Makes you feel almost sorry for that git, McLaggen.”

Hermione, didn’t respond to Seamus, looking away in case her blush betrayed her memory of a certain Confundus Charm. As she looked away, she saw Lavender entering the stands from the other end. She waved enthusiastically to her and Seamus. They waved back, awkwardly.

“Let’s go, Won Won!” shouted Lavender from the edge of the stands.

Another Quaffle flew past him through the goal posts. He had come to a halt midair as he whipped around at the sound of Lavender’s voice. They were too far to hear, but Hermione could tell he had groaned.

The practice deteriorated from there. Ron was clearly rattled by Lavender’s presence. He was moving left when he should move right, falling for each of the Chasers’ feints. Harry was very clearly frustrated. He called an end to the practice session early and the team headed to the locker rooms. Lavender rushed down the stands to be there when Ron emerged from changing, ready to comfort him. Hermione knew that would not go over well. She felt a little bad for Lavender. She truly seemed to care for Ron, who seemed increasingly disinterested with her.

“Glad Dean didn’t find him a lass like that,” Seamus said. He did seem relieved. “You’re not so bad. The only thing I’ve seen you get that ga-ga over is new library books.” He screwed up his face in a doe-eyed stare.

“You’re probably right,” Hermione said laughing. Seamus was funny and not in a mean way like she was accustomed to from Ron or the twins. He might poke fun at you, but you knew he never really meant it. It was strange for her to think that he had taken such a fierce stance against Harry, when he was in denial of the truth about Voldemort.

Once they decided that they had waited long enough for the team to finish changing, Hermione vanished their bluebell flames and jars, wordlessly. Seamus lamented the absence of the warmth, and Hermione agreed. It amazed her even six years on that she could conjure such a small thing that could give off so much heat.

To their relief, it was far less windy on the grounds and thus measurable degrees warmer. Some of the team had already made their way out of the changing rooms by the time they approached. Ginny was speaking animatedly to Demelza and seemed to be purposefully ignoring Hermione and Dean’s presence amongst the group.

Dean approached Hermione with a cocky grin on his face. “So, how did I fly?” he asked, grabbing her waist, pulling her into him.

She became distinctly aware of eyes on them, her queue to perform. The heat from Dean being so close to her, his muscular arms around her waist, his dimples peeking out at her, all of it was overwhelming her. Was no one else noticing how forced and insane all of this was? Ginny glanced at them from over her shoulder as she walked past with Demelza. This jolted her back to her senses. She had a job to do.

Hermione rolled her eyes in response to his question, swatting him lightly on the arm. But before she could ready a retort about how average he was, Seamus jumped in. “You were great, mate! The turns you were able to cut were phenomenal. If you had flown that way at tryouts...”

Amused with Seamus excited long speech about strategy, Dean didn’t notice as she disentangled herself from him. Ron had finally exited the changing rooms with Harry. Harry raised his hand in a brief wave, before turning back to Ron to continue what looked like a serious conversation. Ron seemed to be taking the coaching sorely, that she could tell. He did not wave to her, pretending to not notice her. His face fell further when he saw Lavender waiting for him off to the side of the group.

Having seen it before, she knew Seamus and Dean could go on for a while about the strategies and technicalities of Quidditch, especially in comparison to football. Dean liked to bring that into the conversation often, football being his main frame of reference for sports. She figured this might be her only moment to read Viktor’s letter so she left them behind, beginning to make her way towards the castle.

Unfolding the letter from her bag, she began to read as she walked up to the path,

...As I have mentioned before, our last match of the year will be in Madrid. I am wishing that you could be there. A few of us team members will be staying through the holiday time.

I have been reading the book you sent in the spring. This Nick Hornby seems to be very passionate about Muggle football. I am relating to him on this point. However, football does seem like a very boring sort of sport. Is all of it always played on the ground?

“That doesn’t look like schoolwork,” Dean’s voice came from behind her. They had evidently put aside their football banter at present and caught up to her. With his eyebrows raised, Dean tried to snatch the letter from her. She snatched it back, with an indignant look on her face. “You know, it’s bad to keep secrets from your boyfriend.”

There was a mischievous look about him. Instinctively, Hermione began to back away, but she was too late. His reflexes might not be superior to Harry’s, but they were far superior to her own. He began tickling her, mercilessly. She cried out in laughter. Valiantly, she tried to fend him off through her mirth, but she lost the letter to him as his hands found a particularly sensitive spot on her right side.

“Give that back, Dean!” She shouted it but she was still half laughing, tears streaming down her face. Her hands were on her hips in a way that she hoped denoted authority.

“Absolutely not.”

She tried to jump for it, but he raised it above his head. He was so tall that this put it far from her reach. “Dean!” she whined, breathless from the exertion and giggling. She was almost ready to give up. Vaguely, she could hear Seamus’ laughter at their antics and his exclamations in support for Dean’s cause.

Dean turned away from her still holding the letter out of her reach, and began reading.

“That’s private,” she said, trying in vain to reach around him and grab it.

When he turned back to her, she knew he had seen who signed it. His eyebrows were arched at her in amusement and the mischievous look remained on his face. “Oh you’re in for it now.”

Expecting him to tickle her again she backed away this time more quickly. However, he didn’t tickle her. Instead, to her shock, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. She would have yelled at him if she wasn’t so busy laughing.

“My bag!” she said through her laughter. It had fallen to the ground at some point in the scuffle.

“Got it!” Seamus called to them.

Dean waved back to Seamus with ease, as if he were simply carrying his book bag over his shoulder. “Thanks, see you at the castle mate!”

Feebly, Hermione protested through her giggles. Her sides hurt. It had been a while since she had laughed that hard.

“Good work today, Granger,” Dean said as he gave her a playful hoist.

She propped her elbow on his back, and placing her head in her hand the best that she could, resigned to her fate. As she did so, she looked up at the changing rooms just in time to see Ron stalking back into them.

#Harry Potter #To All The Wizards #Black Wizard History #Dean Thomas #Hermione Granger

[doomonfilm]

Thoughts : Murder Party (2007)

Blue Ruin was my introduction to Jeremy Saulnier and Macon Blair, and it eventually led to my discovery of Saulnier’s appropriately titled clusterfuck trilogy.  Most of my friends, even those not aware of the unofficial trilogy, are big on Green Room, but I figured I should go backwards prior to moving forward.  Luckily, Netflix heard my cries with their recent addition of the first film of the trilogy, Murder Party.

Christopher (Chris Sharp) is a New York-based loner who spends his days issuing parking tickets.  While walking home on Halloween, he comes across an invitation blowing in the wind to a Murder Party.  With nowhere to go and nobody to go with, Christopher decides to attend.  Upon arrival, however, he immediately realizes things are awry.  Paul (Paul Goldblatt), Sky (Skei Saulnier), Lexi (Stacy Rock) and Bill (William Lacey) all indicate heavily they are wanting to murder Christopher, only for the stakes to rise when Macon (Macon Blair) attempts to attack him with an axe.  The group manages to capture and subdue Christopher (who happened to bring pumpkin bread with raisins) while they attempt to hold their excitement at the arrival of Alexander (Sandy Barnett), an art investor promising a grant that will afford one of the artists/party attendees a chance to improve their lot in life.  Sky (who happens to be allergic to preservatives) eats some of Christopher’s pumpkin bread, and in the midst of her allergic reaction a fall on a sharp object kills her.  The group manages to hide the body just as Alexander arrives with Zycho (Bill Tangradi), his drug and pierogi dealer.  With the arrival of Alexander, the clock is put on Christopher’s life while the group indulges in Halloween mischief.

Tonally, this film is well produced and executed.  The loner nature of Christopher makes him prime fodder to play Murder Party victim.  As he states himself, the insignificance of his death would not make waves in society, and nobody would be likely to recognize he was missing.  The fact that the artists are so determined to go through with killing him proves how self-centered they were, as the fact of whether their victim would be missed or not means nothing to them as a collective or on a solo basis.  Even when Alexander’s facade faded, the artists could only see things through the lens of how it affected them.

On a personal level, the costuming and the artistic disciplines of each character worked extremely well in tandem : Bill’s combination of Baseball Fury and painter, with his slow and methodical periods of isolation and painting eventually catching up to everyone in a furious blast... Macon’s wolfman / performance artist parallel shows a man obsessed with a force beyond his control, and his final moments force him to deal with a horrible transformation... the rest of the characters share this in regards to their costuming and choice of artistic expression.  Things are heightened when Alexander introduces truth serum into the mix (deceptively in the case of himself), as this opportunity affords each character to give a Cliff Notes style representation of their character.

The series of events (especially the deaths) really bring the ‘dark’ out of this film’s dark comedy designation.  Christopher’s life, when removed from the microscope we view it under, is pretty bleak.  The ruse that Alexander permeates on the artistic community is so blatantly false that it exposes the entire community by proxy for their shallow nature.  The series of deaths that occur in this film will go down in my personal records as some of the most jarring, a trait that Saulnier continues throughout the clusterfuck trilogy.

Chris Sharp brings a shock to his character that pulls him through the events of the movie like a prisoner trapped in a body scheduled for torture, to a very effective degree.  Sandy Barnett and his over the top pompous nature sells the Alexander character fully, making his later reveal powerful.  Paul Goldblatt and his constant frustrations make his presence as constant catalyst for things to move from bad to worse pitch perfect.  Stacy Rock’s portrayal of Lexi adds extremely mischievous fuel to the dumpster fire that is Murder Party.  Macon Blair is wonderfully unhinged throughout the film.  William Lacey plays his character with a simmering, smoldering fire waiting for the right reason to burn out of control.  Skei Saulnier’s light role helped the breakneck adjustment in the film play in a way the audience would go along with.

Halloween will be here sooner than later.  Maybe I should find a place to screen this film, and find a companion film to go with it.

#ChiefDoomsday #DOOMonFILM #JeremySaulnier #MurderParty #ChrisSharp #SandyBarnett #MaconBlair #PaulGoldblatt #WilliamLacey #StacyRock #SkeiSaulnier

[thegloober]

From Bedridden to Radiance: How I Used a Holistic Lifestyle to Heal From a Near-Death Accident

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. I’ll continue to publish these each Friday as long as they keep coming in. Thank you for reading!

We live in a stress-filled world. Poor quality nutrition, toxic chemicals, xenoestrogens, EMFs, blue-light, deadlines, and traffic have us competing for our health. But on March 20, 2011, life got much more stressful than I could have ever imagined.

That particular day, I found myself in an ICU bed after recently being hit by a series of large vehicles. I recalled crossing a busy street in Traffic Nation, a.k.a. Los Angeles, where I was unexpectedly hit by a Land Rover headed west. The force of the blow threw me into the eastbound lane, where I was then run over by a Toyota Tundra. Needless to say, my world was rocked.

Lying unconscious in the middle of Melrose, paramedics and first responders aided my broken body. Upon impact I had seven broken ribs, a collapsed lung and “the worst compound fracture’ the maxillofacial specialist at the hospital had ever seen…BUT I was still alive. Perspective.

For any person, this would be a traumatic experience, but for a young, 30-year-old working actor and model, my future was suddenly completely unsure. At this time, my physical appearance was a huge part of my livelihood, and quite honestly, I wasn’t certain I would ever look the same.

My body wrecked and my confidence not far behind, I found a silver lining by focusing on what I DID have rather than what I didn’t. Some say true purpose is born from tragedy, and luckily for me, this was the case. As easy as it would have been to give up, my near-fatal accident turned out to be the ultimate blessing in disguise — that experience sparked the fire in my soul’s purpose. I set forward with passion to recover my health and to get back in better shape than I was before the accident. Along the way, I shared everything I had learned about nutrition, natural healing, skincare and how to feel better about the reflection in the mirror with the rest of the world.

All Natural Recovery

My recovery wasn’t easy, physically or mentally. I had pain from head to toe, my jaw wired shut and nubs for front teeth, I felt myself turning into a zombie from the antibiotics, CT scan and monthly x-rays. It was dark. I lost my zest as a human being. I definitely wasn’t my ‘happy-go-lucky’ self, and it is a scary thing to witness yourself changing for the worse as a person. But I didn’t give in to that feeling, I quickly decided I was going to do everything in my power to ‘beat’ this funk that I was in and recover as quick as I could, as best as I could. A walking ball of inflammation, I began researching ingredients for how I was going to accelerate my healing both internally and externally. I met with several Chinese herbalists and developed a morning tonic that would help build my blood, assist in ridding my body of toxins and provide the best nutrition possible while not being able to chew food. It was extremely tough. Deer Placenta, egg yolks, bison liver… You name it, I tried it. I just wanted to get back to the old me!

In addition to this, my face was extremely swollen, covered in abrasions, and I had an unsightly deep scar on the left side of my face from point of impact that really was an eyesore. Social situations were uncomfortable, so I spent most of my time in my little apartment researching. Unhappy with the toxic, paraben-laced products that my doctors were recommending that I use to heal my skin, I began obsessive research into creating my own remedy. My simple understanding of the negative side effects of the medical and conventional led me into an ever-evolving journey of education of ingredient decks. I learned a lot about the physiology of toxic fragrances, artificial colors and other synthetic chemicals.

It turns out, most conventional skin-care products were going to do more harm than good for my skin. Parabens, one of the more common ingredients, is estrogenic and antagonistic to androgen production, meaning they interfere with the endocrine system’s ability to produce and regulate hormones—this physiological mechanism makes them correlated with breast and other cancers. This sort of research only further validated my protest against the recommended creams and further fueled my desire to heal my body, naturally. I understood that the skin pores are vulnerable to everything they are exposed to, so I only use products that are free of any known toxic, carcinogenic, inflammatory substances. I also ensured that every ingredient that touched my skin came with beneficial, therapeutic effects for my skin cells. I deeply felt that my skin would respond best to a blend of nutrient dense organic ingredients, clays, superfood extracts, cold pressed essential oils and butters.

Researching and finding these hidden gem ingredients became my own little creative outlet! I would isolate certain ingredients and note their effect on my skin, I would pay close attention to the activity of the ingredients and the synergy that they created together. What started as a carefully formulated blend of clays sourced from all over the world, quickly turned into a mineral rich, superfood regenerative meal for the skin on my face. Not only did it help reduce the swelling, and completely heal the abrasions on my face, but my complexion was crystal clear and silky soft. I knew I had something special. The same people that saw me in an ICU bed were blown away by what they saw just a few weeks later. Wondering what I did to heal so quickly, I drove all around town with my backpack, wooden spoon and bowl and would mix up a mask for them to try.

Blown away by the feedback, I knew I had something special. The Alitura Clay Mask was born! Next thing you know I’m melting down cacao butter in a cast iron pan in my kitchen, combining it with Manuka Honey, adding Sea Buckthorn Oil and other skin healthy botanical extracts…. And the best part…seeing and feeling results! The concoction made out of that cast iron pan became my Alitura Night Cream. It was great because I really became my own biggest science experiment. The cell turnover process was sped up by staying extremely consistent with a routine of using the Clay Mask which exfoliated dead skin, then following with the cream that I was making to heal, hydrate and deeply nourish the freshly exfoliated skin’s surface. I started to look forward to doing it.

Just 2 1/2 months after a life threatening accident, I was back on the runway, modeling for Macy’s! My first victory in my recovery.

Shortly after that, Bulletproof CEO Dave Asprey heard about what I was doing and had me on his top ranked podcast ‘Bulletproof Radio.’ Our podcast got such a response from it that he invested in me and my brand and the rest is history. Four years after launching the business out of a dingy studio apartment in North Hollywood, California, Alitura Naturals now has 20 products and is in 76 countries. Alitura is Latin for ‘feeding and nourishing,’ and we maintain that in our core brand mission and ingredient integrity in every product that we make.

I specifically want to say thank you to Mark Sisson and the extremely kind staff at Primal Blueprint, Primal Kitchen® and Mark’s Daily Apple. The first book that I ever read in the health and wellness space was The Primal Blueprint. From cover to cover, I found myself devouring information in that book and implementing it into my and my family’s lives. That book flat out changed my life, and was the catalyst in leading me towards an enriched quality of life by keeping me on a path towards my ultimate purpose.

It truly is an honor to contribute on a blog that I have read and been a fan of for years. Thank you!

— Andy Hnilo, CEO & Founder, Alitura Naturals

Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

Folks, I hope you enjoyed Andy’s story as much as I have. I’m happy to share that Andy’s offering Mark’s Daily Apple folks a generous discount. Check out his product line and use the coupon code “primal” (of course) to receive 20% off anything in the entire store—and enjoy free U.S. shipping, too.

Be sure to catch Andy on this coming Monday’s Primal Blueprint Podcast (10/22/18). Our own Elle Russ chats with Andy about his near death experience, his commitment to full recovery, and the thriving business that came out of his resolve. 

Have an awesome weekend, everyone. 

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Source: https://bloghyped.com/from-bedridden-to-radiance-how-i-used-a-holistic-lifestyle-to-heal-from-a-near-death-accident/