#everyone's doing it so here's the bfu version | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asexy-phoenix · 3 months

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I don't know what "bfu" stands for, but I saw "Kane Chronicles" and immediately had my interest piqued!

BFU stands for Buzzfeed Unsolved and that WIP is the events of the Kane Chronicles re-told through the lens of their true crime discussion videos!

Here's a snippet:

On December 25th, 2010, a supposed museum heist took place at the British Museum.

The Rosetta Stone was part of a travelling exhibit and was being displayed at the museum when respected Egyptologist, Dr. Julius Kane and his two children were allowed in after hours. The original story is that Dr. Kane blew up the Rosetta Stone for unknown motives before vanishing. However, everyone involved would either vanish or completely recant and change their story.

“Okay, so this already feels like that video we did about the Jackson kid. Lots of people have a story about this guy that involves destruction and property damage and then bam! Out of nowhere, they swerve and go in a different direction entirely.”

“Yeah, so are you starting to see why aliens might be involved here?”

“Wow, right out of the gate this time. Not even trying to hide your hand, eh, Ryan?”

“Well, you’ll see why I think this later. There’s a lot of missing pieces that just don’t add up.”

“Like every case we do, yes.”

“Anyway.”

The first version of the story was collected from police statements taken immediately after the event occurred. According to this statement of events, Dr. Kane’s two children, Carter and Sadie, locked the museum curator in his office with a bike chain. Then, the three of them barricaded themselves in the room which held the Rosetta Stone and set off some unknown explosive. Shortly after, the police arrived, finding only Carter and Sadie in the room. The children were taken to their grandparents – also Sadie’s legal guardians – home for questioning.

Sadie lives with their grandparents?

Yeah

Where does her brother live?

With their dad

Oh, so this is like a family reunion then!

Weird way to put it when they just got accused of

blowing up an archaeological treasure

#wips #wip ask game

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forgetobias · 3 years

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BUZZFEED UNSOLVED - but it's just memes

[part 2.0] ; [part 3.0]

#buzzfeed unsolved #buzzfeedunsolvededit #userbbelcher #chewieblog #userstream #dailyhangover #ruinedchildhood #nessa007 #usershaysh #usermarylan #userdaphne #userpayton #userleah #shane madej #ryan bergara #memes #shougifs #*shou's #everyone's doing it so here's the bfu version

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themangolorian · 3 years

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ketterdam unsolved

For @kanejweek Day 3: Adventure (robbery & piracy, outer space)

Pairing: Kaz x Inej

Warnings: for some explicit language

Summary: (modern au) ketterdam’s version of buzzfeed unsolved (not what i expected when i started out) but you don’t have to watch bfu to get it, it’s just a modern ghost hunting au with a twist

“If this is going to work, then Kaz needs to be the skeptic and Inej the believer.” Wylan kept saying in various reiterations without ever explaining why.

“This isn’t going to work.” Jasper repeated.

“Shouldn’t that be Kaz’s line?” Inej smiled dazzlingly his way.

“Wylan is right.” Kaz finally spoke, his voice unwavering rough stone.

Silence fell over the room. They’d been bickering over the roles for several minutes and Kaz had kept his peace until now.

“Even if he doesn’t know why.” Kaz continued, effectively erasing the satisfied smile from Wylan’s face.

Jesper stuck his tongue out at Wylan in retaliation, but Wylan actively ignored him.

“Jesper, you’ll be manning the camera.” Kaz said, then, a moment later: “What was that?”

“Nothing, boss,” Jesper shot back enthusiastically, though they’d all clearly heard him mutter a second ago: “You’ll regret that when you see the footage.”

Kaz nodded in satisfaction. It wasn’t that they didn’t all rile him up intentionally once in awhile; it was that you didn’t do it during a job.

After all, if they were going to steal the Lantsov Emerald from a high tech security vault inside of an allegedly haunted castle while playing at being amateur television personality ghost hunters, they were going to need full concentration throttles ahead.

“What about me?” Nina pouted.

“You, my dear,” replied Kaz liltingly, holding up a skimpy yet utterly expensive looking gown, “are tonight’s distraction.”

Nina grinned devilishly, but Matthias only groaned.

“Let’s get to work.” Kaz murmured.

*******

Later, on the set Wylan and Jesper had constructed to look like some old timey investigator’s office, Inej studied the hastily thrown together script with wrinkled nose.

“This dialogue is terrible.”

“Oi.” Wylan feigned hurt surprisingly well.

“It’ll have to do,” Kaz agreed without actually agreeing from where he sat behind the desk at her side.

“This week on Ketterdam Unsolved, we dive deep into the mystery of the Haunted Castle of Ravka,” Inej tried but failed to say without cringing.

Kaz’s lips twitched. “The most awful part about it all is that they’re going to fall for it.”

Inej glanced his way slyly. “Oh yes, truly horrible.”

Kaz focused for just a second too long on that smile before forcing his gaze back to the script.

Jesper zoomed out of the shot. Oh yes, this was going to be fun.

********

The castle’s wide open hallways were cold and foreboding, and Inej found herself shivering from more than just the temperature. For all her skepticism about the script, she might be the only one of them other than Matthias who truly believed the castle was haunted.

Glancing past where Matthias stood guard (she didn’t know how Kaz had managed to accomplish that one - stand in security guard for a nationally recognized security company seemed even beyond his capabilities), the thought did little to comfort her.

Knowing she was being stupid, she still felt like eyes were watching her. Kaz, of course, noticed instantly and used it decidedly for their sham of a show.

“Don’t mind my friend here,” Kaz said in that awful voice she barely recognized, “she’s just positive we’re going to be murdered here tonight.” Kaz laughed into the camera Jesper was pointing at them. He sounded like a total idiot.

Inej stared at Kaz, hoping she was conveying the proper amount of derision.

“Everyone loves to taunt ghosts, until they’re being haunted by them.” Inej said as much for Kaz’s benefit as for the camera’s and that of the bemused tour guide showing them around before leaving them to their antics for the night. If only he would just leave already...

Kaz only laughed mockingly back, which riled Inej up even more. But she knew her lines.

“Keep it up, big guy, and see what tonight has in store for you.” She managed to say, this time without wincing.

The tour guide began leading them to the rooms where they had been instructed to keep to during their overnight ghostly vigil but failed to notice the way their eyes were memorizing every layout, every window, every door.

*******

When they had finally been left alone, charmed out of the castle as the tour guide had been by Nina’s wiles, Inej let out a deep frustrated breath.

What had seemed to be an interminable smile fell from Kaz’s face.

“Jesper, you take the east wing. Wylan will be waiting at the gate. Don’t alert the guards, but Matthias is on stand by if you do.”

Kaz didn’t have to say a word. Inej knew to follow him just by the look in his eye.

“Did you see the way the guide kept glancing at the door to the main study?” But Inej knew she didn’t have to ask.

“I’m betting that’s our target.” Kaz agreed, leaning lightly on the walking stick he had swapped out for his usually more dramatic cane. For the “aesthetic,” Jesper had said.

Inej didn’t bother to ask why Kaz had sent Jesper and Wylan in another direction. Kaz always had his reasons.

“It’s likely a pressurized vault.” Inej muttered, thinking carefully on what they had learned on their tour.

Kaz fished something out of his pocket and Inej’s eyes went wide. Then she smiled, taking the hefty false emerald out of his palm. “Our friend, Mark.” She laughed.

“Exactly.” Kaz didn’t smile but the twist of his lips was unmistakable. He was pleased with her reaction.

He was not so pleased when they reached the outer chamber of the vault. Inej had never seen such high tech locking mechanisms. There was no way they were getting in.

“What now, big guy?” Inej tried for levity but Kaz’s face wad screwed up tight. He was-

“Scheming face.” Jesper let out a low whistle, sidling through the door behind them.

“Definitely.” Inej shot back, watching Kaz take apart the puzzle that was invisible to the rest of them.

*****

The break-in to the vault had taken them the better part of the night. Finally, just before dawn, they had retired back to the window lined room and their sleeping bags to await the arrival of the tour guide who would check them out of the castle.

Wylan had fallen immediately into a deep slumber and was snoring across the room next to Jesper who was fiddling with the video camera, but Kaz was still too pumped full of adrenaline with their success. He could feel the hefty weight of the emerald in the inner lining of his jacket where it could not be detected even if they were searched.

He gazed fondly, if with a blank expression, over the room full of his crew. Then- his eyes found Inej.

****

“It’s a murder well.” Kaz was crowing enthusiastically to the camera, his voice an overexacting exaggeration.

Kaz raised one eyebrow at the TV as he walked into their crowded headquarters. Jesper, Wylan, Inej, Nina and Matthias were laying haphazardly across the too small sofa watching the footage Jesper had captured just a few nights ago.

“Holy shit, dude, this is how they murked traitors back then.” The on-screen Inej babbled while the in-person Inej groaned and covered her face.

“Shh, this is my favorite part,” Jesper exclaimed, tossing a handful of popcorn kernels her way.

“Oi.” Inej barked, beginning to tussle over the popcorn bowl as on-screen Kaz and Inej laughed a little too hysterically at some scripted joke.

“What business?” Kaz leaned on his cane as they call came slightly to attention before relaxing again.

“Just enjoying the fruits of our labor, Dirtyhands,” Nina laughed joyously as she popped what Kaz knew to be very expensive gourmet chocolates between her lips while ignoring Matthias’ longing glance.

Inej extricated herself from the pile of limbs of their friends to join Kaz behind the sofa. She was grinning wildly and bouncing on the toes of her feet. “So?” She seemed even more excited at the prospect of CEO Rollins’ downfall than Kaz was.

Kaz nodded his head curtly and Inej beamed. Kaz got the distinct sense that Inej wanted to launch herself at him and was disconcerted to realize he quite hoped she would follow through when-

“Awwww,” Nina was exclaiming in a loud sweet voice.

Both Kaz and Inej looked up at the same moment at the TV screen to see Inej as she had been the morning after their heist, in the castle, sitting on a window ledge with her eyes closed letting the sun bathe her in warmth and light.

Something was wrong. There had been no filming... There shouldn’t have been any filming then. The camera began to pan out and Kaz took a stilting step forward, though by then he knew it was too late to stop what was about to happen.

The room went still. Even Jesper had stopped his constant squirming. That early morning, Kaz had been sitting on the floor just diagonally to Inej. He remembered the exact second his eyes had landed on Inej then, the way his breath had quite literally trapped itself in his throat. He remembered possibly even better now as he watched himself on screen, past him watching past her with something akin to absolute enthrallment on his face.

No one moved except for Inej who Kaz could see, from the corner of his eye, looking from the screen to him. He could almost make out the disbelief and - was that joy? He wanted to believe that was joy - on her face.

Suddenly the camera on screen was being whipped around and Jesper’s face was filling up the entire screen.

“Told ya you would regret putting me on camera, boss.”

The screen went black.

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lovinmullen · 4 years

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the pacific: part one, live blog because i said so

he looked so pissed when he has to make the sign of the cross to mary..... I KNOW ITS BECAUSE HES FALLING AWAY FROM HIS RELIGION but all i can think is undercover protestant????? i hate that i find myself funny stfu tom like he’s some angsty protestant like ‘this is fucking bullshit why the fuck DO THEY PRAY TO MARY’ which..... is a huge missconsperion but i’m not gonna get into that right now but hey if anyone needs an rs teacher? i got you

are you telling me i could have heard the most BEAUTIFUL monologue about the saint mary’s church and her plans for the day as well as being able to see that sweet sweet smile on vera’s face for longer but it was cut short because bobo went ‘i joined the marines’ GOOD FOR YOU BUT.....

rOBERT...... you really gonna give her THAT look...... IN GODS HOUSE is this allowed? is THIS ALLOWED???? if you don’t say it in the voice of the vine we can not be fteejssn sorry i don’t make the rules

#BOB: i wanna catholic girl that go to church AND READ HER BIBLE (is that even right??? omg i can only remember the jewish one *in the voice of ryan reynolds severely slowed down* FUUUUUCCCKKK)

on a real note this man saw her at church ONCE and his ass went finna wife up like........ take her out to dinner first. OR AT LEAST ASK HER HOW SHE IS IN THE LETTERS like we get it you’re emo, the aussie won’t shag you anymore and you keep pissing your pants. i understand it’s a hard not life or how ever that song in annie goes but bro.........(this is obviously a joke i am dumb of ass please ignore me i love you m8 and i’m sorry you’re gonna embarrass yourself in front of everyone but chuckler shifts to momma mode so you good)

can we please acknowledge jon’s acting..... sir? PHENOMENAL he’s not even saying anything??? he’s just looking at the lt yet i’m near tears

gentle reminder i love the basilones🥺🥺🥺 the way they are so supportive even though they don’t understand and they are scared for him but they accept and respect that john wants more, needs more and they’re putting their own fears aside so he can spread his wings for no better turn of phrase.

‘just get the job done, and come home to us’ the way his head falls and he has to stop his voice from breaking. i’m s fucking bitter

THE HAND HOLD MY GOD

leckie:((( look hes a bastard and he pisses me off but no matter how much i bully him i do love him a lot and the complete disregard and uncaring nature from his dad breaks my heart. a handshake then gone just like that? HIS FACE BEFORE ‘there’s a war on everybodies got to make sacrifices’ he looks so hurt and broken baby

GENE MY SWEET SWEET BABY GOD THIS SO SAD ALEXA PLAY DESPACITO. my baby just wants to do his part :( CUT THE CAMERAS DEAD ASS I WILL CRY BABY PLEASE DON’T CRY JUST WAIT A FEW MORE EPS my heart really do be looking like: <eugene3

‘gene, supper’s ready’ ma’am i’m sorry but he does not give a shit

SIDNEY MY SWEET SWEET BOY get in a pram if you’re going to be so baby. look while i love him so much and i know he didn’t mean it to be !!!!! he’s just small of brain !!! but when he says “i wish we where going together” that lowkey rubs it in man......... like he’s already heartbroken PLEASE STOP but the “yeah well you take care of yourself greaser” - “you don’t have to worry about me” IM SOFT🥺

“wOWoWOoOOO COME ON GUYS I WORKED HARD FOR THESE ORANGES”

“guadal...kenel...guadal BLEEHHH” didn’t realise hoos was recreating the audience of my english speaking exam. LOOK I REALISE NOW TALKING ABOUT STOICISM TO A BUNCH OF 15 YEAR OLDS WHO DON’T CARE WAS A BAD IDEA BUT I GOT A DESTINCTION SO FUCK YOU TO THAT ONE KID

chuckler baby..... i’m in love with a dumbass. also the hit across the head. i’m soft (lads lets take a shot every time i say i’m soft in this liveblog ITS GONNA BE A FUN NIGHT jk drink responsibly and all that jazz or be dick winters that’s cool too!! heck do a babe heffron and get yourself a caprisun you deserve it)

“professor leckie” please don’t fuel his ego HE DOES NOT NEED IT

HOLD UP I NEED TO SWITCH FROM THE TV TO MY LAPTOP TO SCREEN CAP THIS SHIT LEW MY SON HAVE YOU BEEN BITING INTO AN ORANGE LIKE IT IS AN APPLE??? I WOULD BE MAD BUT HE LOOKS SO CUTE on a real note though can you eat the skin???? will he be okay?????

okay two hoos things: 1.) he looks SO DONE and i’m living for it 2.) can we talk about jacobs nose..... IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT JACOBS NOSE

okay the boats scene give me saving private ryan flashbacks i came out here to have a good time AND I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME oh wait never mind runner just went ‘i could really use a stiff one right now’ i hate that but he saved the day with his dumbassery so thank you good sir i love you with all my heart

fun fact my how co ranking goes chuckler, runner, hoos, leckie

OH FUCK I FORGOT SID SJAKSJSJ y’know for someone who talks about how much they love sid i forget about him a lot. thank you for blessing my screen with your pretty face it helped me remember you exist LMAO guys my memory is not okay i’m actually concerned...... but more importantly i’d put him between hoos and leckie in the ranking :,)

call it what it is. babyism. y’all better stop before i cuddle you LOOK AT THIS SHIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

runner is the only bitch i respect in this house he’s so fucking funny

‘they’ve? poisoned? a? billion?! coconuts?’ that poor son of a bitch BLESS HIM don’t shoot the messenger okay? he seems like a sweet bean

that shot of hoos, leckie and chuckler looking down at the camera into the bunker? my sexuality. my left brain: tomas stop thirsting it’s an intense and serious show. my righ brain: but?? they’re pretty?? me nodding smugly and in agreement: BUT THEY’RE PRETTY.

THIS MAN AND HIS GUM I CAN’T why is that me. i am the gum man at my school that sounds so weird ajsksjsj i just always have gum. ALSO spearmint is superior to normal mint. NORMAL MINT BURNS LIKE ITS SPICY BRO. bubblemint is superior superior but that’s more expensive rip😭😭😭😭😭😭

‘it’s like the fourth of july’ nice to my boy sufjan getting some rep he is king of the gays after all mr i can’t explain the state that i’m in the state of my heart he was my best friend. we all owe him EVERY parallel on this goddamn app. jk there’s one other king of the gays and that is demon! shane (bfu). no this is not up for debate

the shot of the ships is phenomenal. that’s one thing i do have to credit hbo on. the special effects and cinematography are beautiful and so fucking impressive like???

‘we’re killing them’ - ‘where’s the navy?’ / ‘gone we lost four cruisers’ GOD I HAVE SUCH A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP FOR FORSHADOWING LIKE SOMETIMES ITS SO SEXY AND OTHER TIMES IM LIKE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO AWAY

WHY DOES SID LOOK OVER HIS SHOLDER BEFORE TAKING THE WINE SIR NO ONE IS GONNA TELL YOU OFF AT WAR FOR DRINKING UNDERAGE like???? i don’t think an 18 year old having a swig is their biggest problem bless his heart

‘can’t fight em drunk don’t fight em at all’

bill if you are reading this i’m free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night, when i am free😌😘🥰😳🥺👉👈😤💘💓🙄🥴

FUCK I FORGOT HOW LOUD THE GUN SHOTS WHERE THINK I JUST WOKE THE WHOLE NEIGHBOURHOOD JC

‘skipper? skipper are you okay?? goddamnit he’s lost it come on’ :(((((

god the shots in this show really are phenomenal. i know it’s very gory and very hard to watch at times but it definitely has the best shots of the three en mi opinion. i’m a slut for the close up of dick screaming ‘move out’ with rounds flying. like who’s ever call that was? outstanding but like that’s just one? the pacific has so many emotive and excellently shot scenes.

JOG ON. STOP. IM SO SOFT IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS NOT OKAY. MOMMA CHUCKLER I CAN’T🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

how seemlessly the scenes flow one after the other despite being opposite ends of the spectrum i DID NOT GIVE TP ENOUGH CREDIT like yeah it makes me sad as fuck but from a production point of view the writing? the acting? the cinematography? DAMN

how visibly torn and pissed off hoosier looks over the other marines tormenting the japanese soldier, stringing out his death when he’s obviously in a lot of mental as well as physical pain? the only bitch i respect in this house.

okay so like? while the shot is scarring both for him and the audience to see that kind of effortless murder it was the right thing to do? it’s better then have him be tormented and it will help leckie in the long run? how broken he looks though? like the distance is his eye and the way he swollows....... WHO IS CUTTING ONIONS HUH???? brilliant james BRILLIANT

the way i just said ‘if biology would have permitted it i would be asking you to have my babies’ at the sight of a man shoving smokes up his nose....... now ladies theyzies and gents, a prime reason to show why you should do your work. this is tom. tom didn’t do his work. with nothing to do all day tom became bat shit..... don’t be like tom. okay like it is cute though COME ON

HOW PROUD AND SMUG AND HAPPY HE LOOKS AT HIS PREMOTION ‘yes ma’am i am a corporal’ HE IS SO BABY AND FOR WHAT. oops sorry lads looks like i dropped this:

the shot of leckie swimming in the water fading off to the shot of the dead bodies mirroring his movement but obviously a life less version OOOH IMMA SUE

god love me some men with black lungs LECKIE DO BE LOOKING GOOD LIGHTING THAT CIG DAMN

“i have a girlfriend lucky me” HOOS IS LIKE MY GAY ASS YOU SURE????

“you guys step aside the real marines are here now” “AND I’VE BEEN HERE FOR SOME TIME” that shuts iconic even i said wahayyyy

also runner..... i am looking RESPECTFULLY👁👁

you’re not special leckie we all want hoosier

sister👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

baby gene :,( YOU GINGER LIL BEBE I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

can you really call yourself a hbo war an if you don’t sing along at the end... ITS A TUNE also hoos’ voice...... its about the drawl.......

#god ive missed these idiots #im so glad i rewatched #im a bit scared for the rollercoaster that is the rest of the series however asjsksjks #enjoy me being an idiot #thank you to the beauties that told me how to do the keep reading thing you da best xxxx #the pacific #hbo war #eugene sledge #bill hoosier smith #lew chuckler juergens #robert leckie #sidney phillips #wilbur runner conley #john basilone

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