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samwhump · 1 month

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a (very inexhaustive, wincest-heavy) sam whump reclist

@transfemmesam asked me for Sam whump recs a few days ago, and I've had other requests in the same vein before (I can't imagine why.../s) so I thought I would throw this together, since these authors deserve all of the love and support for their contributions to our li'l fandom corner.

like I mentioned in the title, this is not at all a comprehensive list; I have at least ~200 more fics in my to-read queue that could thematically fit here, but alas, I have stupid shit like a job and a body and a dog to take care of, so. I'm always happy to get recs along these lines, so if you notice anything important missing, hit me UP. (and don't take any omissions as any specific commentary by me -- it's likely I just haven't had the chance to read it yet, haha.)

disclaimers:

some (most, honestly) of these contain potentially triggering and dark content, including but not limited to rape/noncon, torture, and suicidal attempts & ideation. I have tried to note content warnings where applicable, and most of the works are hosted on ao3, so the tags should have most of the information you need to make an informed decision. that being said, tread with caution. all of the summaries provided are from the original author, with warnings added after by me.

the list is in alphabetical order and separated into wincest and gen categories. a lot of the gen is also focused on the sam & dean relationship, because...I am what I am. and what I am a sucker for these two dipshits. there is also a brief section at the end with a few fics that don't fit into either category.

gen

All That Goes Unspoken by amnesiawife:

A case forces Sam to confront something long kept buried. (Set nebulously in season 12.)

CW: discussions of past rape/noncon, victim blaming

Beneath the Trees 'verse by Lise (5 works total, starting with Beneath the Trees, Where Nobody Sees):

Sam doesn't go to Stanford. Everything goes downhill from there.

CW: suicidal ideation

a boy is a cage by ad_castra:

After expelling Gadreel from Sam's body, Dean thinks they're in the clear. If only they were that lucky. // S9 fic wherein Gadreel's grace causes some adverse side-effects in Sam's mind.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon, body horror

body of proof by Askance (doomcountry):

There are things Sam hasn't told his brother. They're all in the envelope laid on Dean's pillow.

CW: heavy discussion of past rape/noncon

break these bones 'til they're better by redskyatmorning:

After Sam’s torture at the hands of the British Men of Letters, the latest in a long string of violations, he is rescued by Dean and Mary – and forced to ponder his broken relationship with his own body. Months later, when Sam is resurrected and tormented by Lucifer yet again, Dean confronts Mary and Sam gets his revenge against the devil.

catching my death (staring out an open window) by ad_castra:

Sam gazes at the window, catches the faint pink hue tinting the sky. It’s so realistic - he could breathe in the fresh air if he were really here. ----- They got Sam out. Sometimes, just knowing that isn't enough.

CW: implied past rape/noncon

Death of Convenience by WilsonTheMoose:

It should have been easy. Wendigos are no joke but daylight slows them. The weather's been unpredictable though and perfect, idyllic hunts don't exactly stay that way where they're concerned. Or Sam has one card to play and never stops to think that Dean would care if he killed himself.

CW: suicidal ideation, references to suicide

Echoes of Hell by The_Nightbreaker:

It wasn't real. He wasn't in Hell anymore. That's what he tried to tell himself over and over. But two centuries of torture don't disappear in a day. Sam struggles with visions of Hell, fighting to maintain his grip on reality. Dean hates that he can't protect his brother from what isn't real—but curse him if he doesn't try. When the boys stumble on a case with ties to the Devil himself, will they be able to pull themselves together in time to stop the sacrifices? Or will the echoes of Hell finally overtake them? Aka, season 7, but the plot is Hell trauma, not leviathans.

CW: suicidal ideation

Evening Shadows by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating the monster who tortured him for nearly two centuries, Dean feels like he's failing his brother, and a diner waitress bears witness.

CW: past rape/noncon

Everything Dies Given Time by Lise:

AU from 5.03. Sam discovers something wrong with himself, and learns to live with it. Only a lot less functional.

CW: suicide/temporary character death

The Freedom to Be Loud by jribbing:

It hadn’t occurred to Dean that maybe Sam remembered so much about that little nowhere town because something memorable had happened there.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

golgotha by redskyatmorning:

There’s a vacancy on the throne of hell, and Sam is desperate enough to save Dean from Michael’s possession to give into the abyssal depths of his own darkness.

Head Space by ameliacareful:

A witch curses Sam leaving him blind, deaf, and bedridden. Left with only the inside of his own head and the occasional touch, Sam begins to unravel.

CW: suicidal ideation

Hiraeth by inkandpaperqwerty:

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past "Dean... I made a really big mistake." For a second, Dean actually thought things were going okay. He was out of Hell, Sam agreed to stop drinking demon blood, they had just wrapped up a successful hunt... for once, everything was okay. And then it wasn't. "I overdosed." Not at all.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

if i could leave (i would've already left) by serendipity0930:

“I have a mission from God for you,” the Angel whispers to the man. “It is time for you to do what you were born to.” The man’s face twists into a smile, delighted over being chosen by Him, a purpose from God digging into his heart, carving out a place to fester. “Hunt.” ... 05x03 AU where Zachariah is even more determined to keep the brothers apart and hunters are all too willing to take Lucifer's True Vessel off the board for good

CW: referenced suicide

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise:

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been.

CW: toxic Sam/Lucifer dynamics

Kindred Instruments by PinBitch:

They’re in a tug of war and Sam is the rope. He doesn’t need to be alive for that. OR Sam dies in detox, being flung against the walls of a metal box will do that to you. Dean and Ruby pick up the pieces.

CW: temporary main character death, permanent supporting character death

lazarus trick by katsidhe:

Sam's alive, so everything is gonna be okay. 13.22 coda.

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence by Lise:

Sam's back. He's in one piece. That's the problem.

CW: self-harm

love is like ghosts by redskyatmorning:

I’m poison, Dean had said instead of I’m sorry. Well, Sam wants to say, what does that make me? What the hell does that make me? (A look into Sam's mind in the aftermath of the Gadreel possession.)

The Other Brother by RadioFriday:

Sam and Adam are pulled from the cage at the same time. Sam is not right, and Adam, stuck as his caretaker, is not pleased.

Oxygen by inkandpaperqwerty:

“Cas! Cas, please! Please, answer me! Cas!” Castiel ignores Dean for several minutes, but then Dean gives him an opening that might help him complete his mission. So, he goes to investigate, and what he finds is a very bloody, nearly dead Sam. Dean tells him where the injuries came from, and Castiel quickly becomes confused. It doesn't make sense, but Dean tries to explain it to him, and slowly... Castiel begins to understand.

CW: suicide attempt

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc by AmberSock:

Sam waits, kneeling, for his execution. What if Dean hadn't missed?

CW: temporary character death

Safety In Distance by GalaxyThreads and SpiritClusters:

The Mark of Cain is a brand of violence. Sam was an idiot to think that he'd be exempt from it, just because he and Dean are siblings.

sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd:

Sam gets cursed. They're dealing with it. Jack can see souls. That one they're not dealing with quite as well.

CW: past referenced rape/noncon

Soul Windows by GalaxyThreads and Spirit Clusters:

A few months after his birth, Jack learns how to see souls. Then he comes to a realization about the Winchester brothers, Sam in particular, and it's not a pleasant one. (gen)

Starry Night by keepcalmsmile:

Sam attempts suicide-by-monster. Dean tries to help. It sort of works...until it doesn't.

CW: suicide attempts, suicidal ideation

such fragile, broken things by The_Bookkeeper:

Sam wishes that Dean would just get it over with already.

The Tale of Sir Galahad by keepcalmsmile:

Sam once said he could never be clean like Sir Galahad. Dean assumed he was just talking about the demon blood. Turns out, Sam was talking about something else too. WARNING: Extended discussions of the aftermath of rape and childhood sexual abuse (but NO description of the actual events). Happy(ish) ending, but potentially very triggering.

CW: past rape/noncon, mentioned CSA

They Hammered in His Teeth by jribbing:

Sam has a secret.

CW: suicidal ideation

today's troubles (are history tomorrow) by a_good_soldier:

"It's not really something I know how to share," Sam had said. In which Dean figures he ought to help Sam out a bit.

Touch and Go by themegalosaurus:

Tag to 9.19 (Alex Annie Alexis Ann) in which Dean realises why, exactly, Sam is so angry about what happened with Gadreel.

trust fall by ad_castra:

“I’m nothing like you,” Sam hisses. Nevermind relating to the anguish of going it alone. Nevermind that he knows what it is to be strapped down and forcibly cleansed against his will. Sam wonders if these trials are purifying Crowley as well.

Words Like Glass by broken_cinders:

Dean never figured the cage wouldn't leave a mark. He was prepared for memories, flashbacks, and nightmares. He wasn't expecting the words Sam brought back with him or the way they made him seem just a breath beyond Dean's reach.

Wound and Unwound by fascra:

Sam stops eating spring of his freshman year.

CW: eating disorder

wincest (dean/sam)

Brittle by thecapn:

Sam Winchester has an eating disorder.

CW: eating disorder

Don't You Cry No More by sixtysevenlmpala (schittyfic):

The first time Sam gets badly hurt on a hunt, he doesn’t cry. Dean does.

Fall On Your Knees by dollylux:

Sam doesn't quite make it home on the last day of school before winter break.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez:

Set between 7.04 and the aftermath of 7.07. Dean is not as okay as he'd like you to think. Neither is Sam.

CW: self-harm

Feels so good to feel again by Trojie:

The pain keeps Lucifer at bay, at least to start with.

Follow In Your Form by withthekeyisking:

Sam is hallucinating Lucifer in the wake of Cas bringing his Hell Wall crashing down. To make matters worse, it seems like this has his dormant powers flaring back to life.

Last Temptation by merle_p:

Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

leeches by Anonymous:

Sam discovers a spell to make everybody forget him. He’s convinced it’s for the best. Pre-Stanford.

CW: attempted kidnapping/torture

Make Thick My Blood by themegalosaurus:

“You’re going to kill me, Dean,” Sam says, eventually. And all Dean can say is, “I think I am.” A season 10 AU, set after 10x14 ('The Executioner's Song'). Cas finds a solution that might cure the Mark of Cain; but if they're going to go through with it, Sam has a terrible price to pay.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Prophecy of an Abomination by ashitanoyuki:

Sam is kidnapped by fanatically religious hunters and crucified. Coming back from this won't be easy. Canon-divergent from midway through season 2.

Recall by De_Nugis:

Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

The Room Upstairs by brokenlittleboy:

Sam comes back from hell, but he’s inside-out and all wrong, and Dean can’t fix him.

CW: mentioned past rape/noncon

Ruin You (and its companion fic Worth) by Mumble_Bee:

Cole fucks Sam with Demon!Dean watching from a devil's trap, snarling that anyone would dare touch what was his. “I told you I don’t care what you do to his face or his blood or his fucking nose,” Dean growled, “but you put your dick anywhere near him and I will end you.” “Better hurry up then, Dean, because I don’t think I can wait much longer.”

CW: explicit rape/noncon

Snowed In by HelloStarlingFics:

When working a case, Sam and Dean get stuck out in a shack in the woods when the snow comes in hard and fast. Trouble is, Sam’s hated the cold ever since the Cage. Time for Dean to step up and look after him.

Wake by minchout:

Gadreel has had Sam for four years, and Dean, lost in guilt and obsessed with finding a way to get his brother back, has isolated himself in a cabin in the Missouri Ozarks with nothing but the woods, a stray dog, some chickens, and all the books the Men of Letters had to offer to keep him company. Then Sam shows up one day without his passenger, and Dean learns quickly that it doesn't matter that Sam is with him again - there is still a lot of work to be done before they can find their way back to each other.

Wanting to Forget by morganaDW (morgana07):

1-shot. S1 fic. After getting Sam freed from the Benders Dean thinks all he has to cope with is some bruises and cuts. He learns quickly just how wrong he is when Sam wakes up with a nightmare, reliving his brief but bad captivity in every detail. Sam just wants to forget & Dean has to try to get him to let him help. Will one night of cruelty and pain ruin what’s been formed between them?

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

when I wake up I'm afraid, somebody else might take my place by quake_quiver:

Sam doesn’t remember the last time he cried for Dean like he did that night. And now it’s been…two weeks. Maybe more. Sam is tired, and in pain, and starting to doubt that Dean’s going to show up. He’s weak and shaking from a combination of constant pain and hunger. Sam longs for Dean. Dean would make it better. Dean would fix it.

CW: rape/noncon, body horror

Wire Inside Me by merle_p:

There are a lot of things Sam hates about his current condition, to the point where he sometimes feels for the gun under his pillow at night, blindly toys with the safety, imagines pressing the muzzle into the underside of his chin and pulling the trigger just to make it stop. But there’s nothing he hates as much as the shadows he sees in Dean’s eyes whenever his brother is looking at him these days. It’s not an expression he remembers ever seeing before, but Sam thinks it’s probably something like revulsion. Horror. Disgust. What else could it be.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon, body horror, forced pregnancy

Worth (and its companion fic Ruin You) by Mumble_Bee:

Episode 10x01 "Black" where Dean is a human, and very, very, pissed off to hear someone has hands on his brother. “It’s nothing personal,” Cole whispered into Sam's ear, too quietly for Dean to hear, “but I need to kill your brother, and I need him off his game when he gets here. I don’t wanna hurt you, kid, but I’m going to, anyway. I’m going to hurt you a lot."

CW: explicit rape/noncon

you'll never see us again by according2thelore:

Then finally, his eyes trail over to Dean. His pupils are pin-point thin, and his hair is straggling in his face so Dean can’t see most of what expression lies there. Sam usually wakes up from nightmares in one of three attitudes: confusion, fear, or calm. A scary, sense-prickling calm that Dean hates more than anything else. Resignation, almost. Or: Sam suffers from nightmares and touch starvation post-Cage. They do their best to deal.

other Sam/Lucifer noncon

Cage Fight (No Way To Do This Right) by Dyed_Red:

Sam’s visit to the cage is already going awry, but Dean’s one-man rescue ends up skidding it sideways into territory neither him or Sam are ready for. (Gratuitous episode scene re-write. If Cas hadn’t come till after, if he hadn’t been there yet when Dean ran down to the 'parole' cage after hearing Sam scream - how bad could it have got for the brothers before he made it?)

CW: graphic rape/noncon

Into Being by withthekeyisking:

When Sam wakes up in the cave on Apocalypse World after having been killed by vamps, it's not just to find Lucifer there with him. It's to find him in him.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, necrophilia, forced pregnancy

Reggie/Tim/Sam noncon

a pointless resistance for you by withthekeyisking:

Sam doesn't know how long he's been with Tim and Reggie by the time Dean shows up and tries to take him out of there. Long enough that's he's already lost one baby and is pregnant with the next. Long enough that this life is starting to feel like all he knows.

CW: graphic rape/noncon, forced pregnancy & miscarriage, victim blaming

screaming birds sound an awful lot like singing by withthekeyisking:

Sam has done his best to move past what Tim and Reggie did to him, pretending it never happened at all. But running into them again makes that very difficult—especially when Dean gets involved.

CW: referenced past rape/noncon

Waste 'Em All by withthekeyisking:

When Tim and Reggie try to force the demon blood down Sam's throat, he spits it back out. He has no interest in being turned into their own personal attack dog. They don't...take it well.

CW: explicit rape/noncon

#sam winchester #sam whump #supernatural #supernatural fic rec #wincest

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matthewkniesys · 10 months

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where do we go now? - jamie drysdale

summary:

a/n: so firstly thank you @huggybearhughesy for your help!! this is based on the lyrics of gracie abrams song "where do we go now?". the lyrics are in bold. this isn't my favourite thing but i'm trying to push through a writers block so hopefully you guys like it :)

pairing: jamie drysdale x fem!reader

good riddance fic series

warnings: swearing and angst and i think thats it but lmk if you find anything else

You and Jamie go way back. Way, way back to when you were both in your moms stomachs. Your parents and Jamie’s parents were like those friend groups you see on TV. You know, the ones where both couples meet at college and then become an inseparable friend group and then move to the same city together and then raise their kids together.

And from the day you were born (3 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days after Jamie as he always reminds you), the two of you were inseparable. If you were at the pool Jamie was probably too. If Jamie was playing tag at recess you probably were too. If Jamie had a hockey tournament chances were you were going to be there, at every game. And then as you grew older, if you were at a party Jamie was probably too. People knew that if they were looking for one of the two of you, all they had to do is ask the other one. That was the kind of bond you shared with your best friend.

Until the string that ties you two together started fraying. And then the string snapped all together.

24th Street

Where you held me, grabbed my arm

What a mental fire alarm

'Cause a lot of that felt wrong

After high school, you moved to Anaheim with Jamie. You didn’t think anything of it. At that point in your life all you knew was that you and Jamie weren’t going to break up. You would follow wherever he goes. It’s funny how you can be so sure of something and then all of a sudden you just aren’t anymore. It starts to feel wrong.

You two bought a small apartment on 24th street and for the first year it felt perfect. It was small and cozy and all you two really needed but at some point during the second year everything changed.

You can’t exactly pinpoint the moment you started realizing this wasn’t it for you. That Jamie wasn’t gonna work out. That this wasn’t your forever. It probably wasn’t even one singular moment. It was lots of little ones all together that came crashing down.

What you can pinpoint is the moment you realized you had to go. That you would suffocate if you stayed in this relationship any longer.

You came home after a horrible day at University and Jamie was there waiting. Like always. He was perfect like that. He never did anything wrong and he could always pick up on the queues that you weren’t having a great day. That used to feel like everything you needed but not anymore. Now it just felt predictable and boring. It felt like there was no passion left. No fire burning between the both of you.

“Hi babe. Bad day?” Jamie asks, after you let out a long sigh dumping all your stuff on the ground.

You make a little noise of acknowledgement, not even having the energy to talk to Jamie and that’s the part where it starts creeping up on you. The fact you don’t even want to talk to the person who supposedly means the most to you. The person who should be the love of your life.

The moment it slams into you though is when he comes up to you and wraps you in his arms. It should be comforting after all these years but in reality it feels like you’re drowning. It triggers something in your brain. You’re overwhelmed with the need to escape. Since when did being in Jamie’s arms, the arms of your boyfriend but more than anything your best friend start to feel so wrong?

Like I miss you

But when I kissed you back, I lied

You don't know how hard I tried

Had to fake the longest time

After that day you tried so hard to stay. You ignored that little voice telling you to get out and run as fast as you can. But you could only take so much. You had love for Jamie still. That much was true but you missed it when you felt so utterly consumed by him. When you constantly wanted to be around him. You missed that part of your relationship with him.

Every hug, every kiss, every word felt wrong. Felt fake.

You always hugged him and kissed him back. You tried to salvage what was there with the two of you. You pretended to yourself that you thought you could fix it, that maybe if you faked long enough it would become real but you always knew you couldn’t. You were lying to yourself. There had never been an ending that ended with Jamie. It wasn’t in the cards with you.

Where do we go now?

One January night you were laying in bed, unable to fall asleep. Next to you your boyfriend was sleeping soundly, completely unaware that anything was wrong. You toss and turn and avoid thinking about the fact that you shouldn’t be here and that Jamie deserves to know that you don’t love him like that anymore. He deserves the world, you just won’t be the one to give it to him.

Slowly you feel Jamie stirring on the other side of the bed. He gets up and looks over at you, groggily.

He yawns and says, “Hey babe, what are you doing up?”

You look into your boyfriend's pretty eyes and in that moment you know you can’t do it anymore. There isn’t anywhere for you two to go. What you have or had is over now and you need to end it.

Tears well in your eyes and you take a deep breath, knowing that in the next moment you were going to break the heart of the boy you used to love most.

“Jamie… I can’t do this anymore. It isn’t fair to you because you did nothing wrong but to stay wouldn’t be fair to me either. I have to leave. This doesn’t feel right anymore. There isn’t anywhere for this relationship to go that wouldn’t end in heartache. I love you, Jamie and I will forever but I have to do what is right for me.”

Jamie doesn’t say anything at first, just lets the tears fall. After a moment he says, “I could feel you pulling away but I wanted to ignore it but I guess I can’t anymore. I don’t wanna let you go. And I know that’s not fair but I love you. There won’t be anyone but you.”

“Yes there will be, Jamie. There will be someone because we weren't meant for each other. There is nowhere for us to go.”

I know I changed overnight

So I can't blame you for fightin'

And I'd be losin' my mind

If you lived in your writin’

The days that follow are hard. You have to keep living in the apartment until you find other living conditions and Jamie is convinced he can find a way to make work. He just can’t see that the best of your relationship was behind and that’s where you had to leave it. Nothing good would come from trying to salvage this.

“Why are you just giving up on us?” Jamie says one day out of the blue while you two eat summer in silence.

“I am giving up because after spending so long trying to stay, I have to give up for the both of us. And I know to you it seems like I just flipped a switch and overnight decided this wasn’t good anymore but I’ve been thinking about us for a while.” You pause, “Honestly, Jamie I’m surprised you're not the one frustrated with me because lately I've been so caught up in my school work I barely even have time to spend with you. Isn’t that driving you crazy?”

“No, it’s not because I just need your presence. That’s enough for me. And I understand why you’re so busy. It’s not like you’re purposely avoiding me.”

“The last few months though, I have been avoiding you.”

'Cause now I'm half of myself here without you

You're the best in my life and I lost you

And we had no control when it fell through

It was one-sided, hate how I hurt you

The next month is a blur. Between finding your own place and being busier than ever with school, you don’t have tons of time to think about Jamie but when you do there’s a sinking feeling in your gut.

You don’t regret ending it but you miss the friendship, the special bond that had been between you two since you were kids. You haven’t been apart from him for this long ever and it feels like a part of you is missing.

Jamie has always been the best in your life. The amazing boy that every girl wishes was theirs but he had always been fully yours. Until now when you set him free.

You wish you hadn’t had to hurt him. He didn’t deserve it but you didn’t deserve to be trapped either. He had no control over the situation. He couldn’t have prevented what happened. It was one sided and it sucks but it's the truth.

If I could, I'd have changed every feelin'

Reservations were up to the ceilin'

Guess the space was the thing that I needed

But I miss you

“Hey y/n. Uh it’s Jamie. Sorry to bother you by calling. I just need to know one thing. And then I can move on. I can pretend I don’t feel like I’m drowning. Did you wish it could’ve been different? If you could've, would you have changed your feelings?”

After a shaky breath from Jamie, silence fills the air. You’ve listened to this voice message he sent you at least twenty times at this point. You have memorized it but can’t stop replaying it.

The simple answer is yes. Yes, you would’ve done anything in your power to still love Jamie but it doesn’t matter because you couldn’t. It isn’t how the world works.

You tell exactly that to Jamie over the phone the next day and he says nothing. He listens and then hangs up, leaving you to hope he’ll be okay.

Being apart from him has shown you, you made the right decision but that doesn’t make it hurt less. You still miss him. He was, after all, your best friend since the beginning and you no longer have each other. That’s…a lot to take in.

Where do we go now?

In the last month Jamie has asked himself over and over and over again what he could’ve done to make you stay. He comes up empty every time because he did everything right. Just wasn’t enough he guesses.

He doesn’t know where to go anymore because before it was always to you. You were his light in the dark. He used to follow that brightness but now that light has run out of power and he’s left to stumble through the darkness alone.

He will be okay, he just has to figure where to go now. Which way it is to escape the black and reemerge in the light.

good riddance fic series

thanks for reading🫶requests are always open for fics, blurbs, ig edits and just thoughts!!

taglist: @woodruff-edwards @nicohischierz @makarhughes @cobrakaisb @huggy-hischier94 @boldysswld@cole-mcward48@kashee-h@kjohnson-91 @jackhues @corneliaskates @imma-mirrorball @hvghes @emptyflowerpots @h0e4fictionalme-n @ivy-34 @jayisamirrorball @diary-of-jj @nicojackl0v3r

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#claire's good riddance fic series #jamie drysdale #jamie drysdale x reader #jamie drysdale imagine #nhl imagine #nhl fic #x reader #claire tries writing <3

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fereldanwench · 4 months

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WIP Whenever (Actually on a Wednesday!)

@chevvy-yates had tagged me in a WIP Whenever thingy last week (I think? What is time) and @breezypunk sharing their WIPs reminded me I meant to do this. So, stuff I'm working on!

Over my Christmas break, I just started barely scratching the surface of working on my own custom poses. Because I'm me, I desperately need some battle couple poses--Fighting side-by-side, holding the other one while they're wounded, maybe fighting each other, etc. I compiled a Pinterest inspo board here to get an idea of what I'm going for.

This pose isn't anywhere close to being finished, but it's a start:

A small confession: while I actually like working in Blender quite a bit, I kind of hate everything else about modding, lmao. I've probably said it before, but my day job requires me to use so many shitty apps and software that always require 37 workarounds just to perform normally--I really don't have a lot of patience for troubleshooting shit during my leisure hours. Hopefully, the project won't become too much of a headache when I get into importing and working with props. 🤞

Virtual photography is always a constant for me these days--I was actually thinking yesterday how it feels like the absolute perfect creative medium for me. I like drawing and writing and 'real' photography, and I very much need to make sure I have more analog and tactile creative projects to keep me sane, but VP just hits in a way nothing else really has.

I am still working on the photostory I shared last time, but I don't want to give away too much there. It's also on a bit of a pause while I figure out some tech issues (read: I regret updating my game, lmao). However, I already have a ton of shots/mini-stories I need to queue up:

Other than that, it's kind of personal reflection shit and contemplating goals/resolutions for 2024. Getting long-winded and a little blunt under the cut:

I've always really struggled with making goals--I don't think I've ever had a situation in which I explicitly stated "I have a goal of XYZ" and then I achieved XYZ. I've had plenty of nebulous "Hey, I think I'd like to do XYZ" thoughts and then lo and behold, I do actually make XYZ a reality, but as soon as the word "goal" is attached to something, I just check tf out.

It was actually something I was trying to talk to my therapist about last summer, and then we kind of hit a dead end on that specific topic and decided I had other problems that were more pressing to deal with, lmao. But all the best goal advice in the world--following the SMART method, sharing it with someone for extra accountability, etc.--Just does not work with my brain.

(The accountability thing in particular always hugely backfires for me because just telling someone I want to do a thing tricks my brain into thinking I did that thing and now I don't need to anymore. Also, I don't like people telling me what to do, so if someone was like "hey, shouldn't you do this thing so you can meet your goal" I will say no just on principle of being a brat, lmao. I really hate that piece of advice.)

I know some of it, probably a lot of it, is fear of failure if I don't meet the goal. I'm very hard on myself--That's a no-brainer.

But I also think some of it, maybe just as much, is fear of success. Which I used to think was the stupidest fucking thing anyone could say about this shit, but success can mean big change. Success can mean increased feelings of imposter syndrome. Success can mean attention and responsibility I don't want. Success can mean bigger consequences if I do fuck up later.

I've come to realize that success is honestly as equally scary to me as failing.

I think this is a big reason I've always been content (or convinced myself to be content) with being good and not great, even if that means I'm not reaching my ~*full potential*~. (There are other external/macro reasons for that too, like my loathing of people trying to push me to monetize my passions, but I don't feel like getting into systemic gripes, lmao.)

Goals that require me to step outside of my usual routine also give me a lot of anxiety, which is something I've working towards managing (you could say that it's a goal of mine to get that under control dfgjhfjgdf), but that's still a very real hurdle for me.

Like I've been trying to go back to a minimum of 20 minutes of dedicated exercise (versus just walking a lot) a 3 times a week, and I get stressed if I miss it, or even just feel like I'm going to miss it (like if 7 PM starts creeping up and I haven't started it yet), but I also get all bent out shape spending 20 minutes on exercising while I'm doing it as if there's a better use of that time and THERE'S NOT. Like, what am I really missing? 20 minutes of scrolling Tumblr? Shut the fuck up, lmao.

All this to say that I don't really feel like I'm ready to set goals in a traditional sense, and that might not be something that ever works for me, but there are things I think would just be... kinda nice for me to do for myself that I want to do this year:

I need to actually be nicer to myself. As a matter of fact, @ren3gade--I hope you don't mind the tag, but I've been meaning to thank you for the "forgive yourself" advice you shared a couple of months back. I started making it a point to use that in my self-talk when I start spiraling, and it has been one of the best means of mitigating certain aspects of my social anxiety. I felt goofy as hell when I first started doing it, but that shit works. Positive self-talk makes you feel better, wow, who knew certainly not me

In a similar spirit, I want to stop being so judgemental about my limitations, and I need to mitigate feelings of guilt when I set boundaries for my mental health and energy. This is something I want to achieve in all areas of my life, but I think the easiest place for me to start flexing these muscles is with fandom. Because, damn, I let myself get into some really bad habits with the CP77 fandom (and I forgive myself for that 🙌). One of the big ones has been putting pressure on myself to keep up with what all my CP77 mutuals are doing at all times, and I'm not doing that to myself anymore. I've spent so much time in the past two years methodically going through tags and blogs to catch up on stuff I missed, and I'm just... relieving myself of this obligation. I know a lot of folks have tried to mitigate that for themselves by encouraging everyone to use their username-tracked tag--I'm not doing that. I'm not giving y'all more tagging work, and I'm not going to give myself the same obligation just in a different way. If I miss a post, I miss a post. Of course y'all are always more than welcome to @ me or send me things you think I'd enjoy (I love that, actually!!), but I'm just one person--I'm incapable of being an omnipresent fandom cheerleader and I don't know why I was pushing myself to be that. Well, that's not entirely true--I have some idea of why, but that's also a mentality I'm leaving in the dust. 😘 Also, for a long time, I did not use the like button for anything other than personal posts purely out of spite because I got tired of people complaining when they'd get likes but not reblogs--My asshole mentality was "Fine, now you get nothing." And that worked for me for several years and several fandoms, but I'm frankly tired of the "like" slander on Tumblr. It's a valid form of interaction and letting someone know you liked their stuff. I don't say this with malice, but other people's mentality of being unhappy with likes instead of reblogs is not my burden to bear. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a rant about fandom stuff, lmao, but the point is I need more boundaries in my life, and I'm starting here.

I'm happier when I spend more time than I have been on traditional art and creative things that get me off my PC. Like I said above, I love VP so much, but it does unfortunately tether me to my computer desk longer than is probably good for me in the long run, mentally and physically. I stocked up on some new traditional art supplies, and I need to put those to use now that I'm settled into my new place. (And I've been itching to do a charcoal portrait of my bb girl.)

Reading books (gotta be physical, no screens) also makes me feel better. I've got about 7 books on my nightstand that I could totally finish this year--Doing that might be the one stereotypical goal I make for myself.

I want to reevaluate how I "multitask;" in particular, I want to break the habit of always having to have a background show/movie on OR always feeling the need to do something on my computer/phone while I watch a show/movie. Even as a kid (way before I lost my attention span to my smartphone lmao), I've always been inclined to doing something else while I watch shows and movies, but that used to be limited to drawing or painting my nails, which I think is fine. Now I just always feel like I need a screen nearby to do something else, even if there's really not something else worth doing. And listening to music or podcasts while I work on a thing is also fine, but it's gotten to the point where I almost can't have complete silence, and I don't like that. I miss being comfortable with silence while I pour all of my focus into a project. I just need to find some equilibrium here.

I know this isn't exactly a standard WIP Whenever, but me is what I'm working on, and I think it's all essential stuff to nurturing my creativity. 😊

#mine: wip #t: wench.txt

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lastoneout · 1 year

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Like yeah it has been kinda wild to see tumblr's attitude about comments and reblogs change so much and tbh a lot of it I don't think can even entirely be chalked up to tiktok or twitter users cuz in the 11 years I've used this site we have gone from:

- Early 2010s tumblr where we added stuff to reblogs all the time, no one cared, posts can got so long they glitched your dash and we basically legit has to scroll uphill in the snow both ways to reblog anything bcs the buttons were at the TOP of the post

- To tumblr fixing posts so the reblog/like buttons were at the bottom(which we loved) and made it so reblogs didn't glitch your dash(which we all complained about) but that also made posts Longer which created the era of "sorry my follower added that dumb comment to your post" and "I had to go back x reblogs to find a version of the post without these pointless comments" jokes

- Which then lead into the era of "how dare you leave this in the tags" which tbh felt like a huge correction from the pervious mentality bcs we convinced everyone that adding comments to posts was Bad and so we missed good additions and interactions to the point that screencaping good tags and adding them quickly became common practice

- And around that same time we started seeing people just straight up reblog posts less which has been an ongoing problem

- And then we got into the whole "prev tags" thing where people legit didn't even want to screencap tags anymore for fear of being impolite and causing us to again have to hammer it into people's heads that You Are Supposed To Interact With Posts

- Only for us now to have a site wide epidemic of people who just don't reblog stuff at all which has built on the previous shift and now driven home by users from other sites who just don't get how tumblr works and (mostly) refuse to learn

So yeah, the attitude around it has changed so much and it's honestly kinda fascinating to watch. And I mean I am not trying to get on a high horse but tbh I always hated the "sorry my follower added a dumb comment" jokes because it DID drill it into people's heads that interacting was bad and I think everything after has been us trying to fix the damage that did, which isn't helped again by people from tiktok and twitter who think rebloging things is Wrong for some reason.

Anyway that to say please interact with posts, no one really cares if your comment is bad/un-needed/whatever because the unique humor of tumblr is built on a giant game of "yes, and" and when you refuse to reblog or comment or even so much as screencap funny tags we lose a lot of what makes this site great.

Put yourself out there, comment on the post or in the tags, screencap funny tags and add them, interact with people, share posts so people will SEE them, and especially reblog posts by artists and writers to support their content!! If you feel bad spamming people's dashes just put stuff in your queue so it gets spaced out or just don't care bcs that's how tumblr works and if you don't like that you can just unfollow someone or leave for another website that does work the way you want it to. It's that easy.

#tumblr meta #I guess??#idk I only just woke up #long post

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frillyfacefins · 1 year

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25K Draft Project - Tumblr History Revisited

Ever since I started using tumblr in 2011, I have been using my drafts for:

posts I wanted to tag + post later

posts I wanted to look at again later

posts I wanted to use as reference for something.

The thing is that I was not good at cleaning out my drafts. The last time that happend was in 2013, which I only know because this is the last month that shows up in my Mass Post Editor:

So now I have to deal with this:

Could I just delete all of them?

Yes.

But the reason I have all these drafts is the same reason why I won't be deleting them: I am, at heart, a digital hoarder. If you're shocked by the number of my drafts, you don't even want to know how many recipes, how many saved jpgs, or how many pirated history books I have on my hard drive.

So since I am back on tumblr for real now (instead of coming in every couple months and then running again, partially because just the thought of my drafts was just... too much to deal with), I am going to do a sort of tumblr history project.

9 Years of a Tumblr Life

So this is what I'm planning:

I'm going to go through my drafts

I will tag all of those that I put in there before 2022 as '25k Draft Project'

I will also give them rudimentary tags using xkit

I will queue them

I will aim for about 20 posts a day, if I can swing it. Yes, I am aware that at this rate, it will take me 3 1/2 years to finish this project. I hope I can up the number of posts a day, but we will see. It's also possible I'll abandon this project in a few months, but then you will still get hundreds of posts from 2013, 2014, 2015....

Why is that interesting for you?

Only about 10% of the posts in my drafts are fandom-related. Most of it is

things that I thought were pretty

discourse

stories and poems

things I thought were interesting

life hacks

cute animals

and tumblr-typical shitposting.

So if you're interested in tumblr history? This tag is going to be a treasure trove.

So yeah, follow me and join me in my journey through 9 years of tumblr.

Also, for good measure:

Drafts I will delete instead of post:

everything I don't like anymore

everything that has misinformation

Also, if you're a long-time follower of mine or have followed me recently for mxtx, helluva boss or hazbin hotel content, you can always block the tag '25k Draft Project' <3 I love you and I don't want to annoy you with this.

So, let's have fun together?

#25k Draft Project #tumblr #tumblr history #tumblr heritage #tumblr lore #just tumblr things #hellsite #tumblr culture #new users #tumblr tips

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hlficlibrary · 2 months

Note

Hello! First of all, thank you for all the work you do! As someone who's been in and out of the 1D fandom for more than a decade but still cannot escape the clutches of this goddamn ship, it's really nice to have a resource for discovering new (and old) fic now that all my fandom friends have slowly trickled over into new fandoms and I no longer have anyone to rec me new things (my most trusted fic friend has now completely converted to F1 fandom...the betrayal...)

Anyway! I saw that you got a request for any new famous/non-famous a little while back and thought I'd shoot you an ask. I still occasionally write and I published a new famous/non-famous a couple of months ago that I would love to share. I put you in the tags but it's probably gotten lost in the shuffle (also I probably did something wrong, I am getting fandom Old after all). I would really appreciate if you wanted to share it to the library as I'm quite fond of it and would love more people to read it :) I'll put a link to the fic post below. Hope you have a lovely day! xx

joekavaliers.tumblr.com/ post/731459442464440320/new-fic

Hello! You're so incredibly welcome! I definitely know the feeling of fandom friends finding new fandoms...argh the betrayal! lol! I'm publishing this publicly, which I hope is okay to do. I did just reblog your fic post today after getting your ask, but I wanted to answer this ask because I don't know whether it just didn't show up in the tags or I somehow missed it. But I'm so so glad you sent me an ask to let me know that it hadn't ever gotten reblogged! I really want to encourage any writers out there if you notice that your fic hasn't been reblogged in a week or two which is about how far out the queue goes in general (Sometimes more, sometimes less just depending on how many people have tagged posts!) please just send me an ask letting me know! I really do just want to support all the new fics that come out! (Okay, but I looked at your ao3 and this doesn't belong on this blog but you wrote a Tomlinshaw fic that I LOVED! Professional competitive asshole Louis lmao so good) And of course, here is your new fic!

Allegiance to your burning heart by driveinbingo

“Have you written any more new songs?”

“I have, yeah. Lately they’re just…coming out of me.”

“Are there any more about me?”

He places a hand on the back of Louis’s neck, carding his fingers through the hair there. It’s getting long again, almost the length it was when Harry left. “They’re all about you.”

In the ten years since he last saw his ex-boyfriend, Harry has become very rich and very famous and everything's just great, thank you very much. He definitely doesn't even think about Louis anymore. And he's certainly not going to let a ghost from his past haunt him as he embarks on the biggest tour of his career.

Except Louis always did find a way to crawl underneath his skin, didn't he?

#ask #joekavaliers

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xscape · 2 years

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Hi! 👋

Welcome to my blog, I use this post to let you all know what l'm doing and how I like to do stuff.

See also: My Latest Personal Update (29th December 2022)

Hit 'keep reading' for more info about me and my blog.

Have a great day everyone 😀

Me and my blog.

I'm only just starting this so it's going to be added to quite frequently as and when I get chance.

Me:

British (English) East Midlands.

Straight Male.

Non religious.

Open minded and tolerant of others. Not much offends me.

Probably older than you.

Coffee addict and cat lover. Both feature a lot on this blog.

Wide range of music tastes but mostly trance, dancehall reggae, UK garage, grime and old skool hiphop.

I work in the mobile telecommunications industry and no... lmao 5G did not cause covid-19!

Politics: I very rarely get involved in political discourse. I vote for Liberal Democrats here in the UK.

My Blog.

This blog showcases my love of a wide range of photography, art, literature and humour. I only post material that I believe reflects all that is good and positive about the world.

There are currently 170 000+ posts to browse! Most are tagged so please use the search, I'm sure you'll find just about everything here!

I don't post images of people smoking... it's fucking disgusting!

I don't post images of guns, knives and other weaponry, (with the exception of artistic antiques) Weapons just ain't cool and shouldn't be glamourised fam.

I usually queue everything that I post and run it 24hrs a day. I don't like it when others flood my dash so I won't do that to you.

Until the big change in 2018, I did post NSFW but I made a massive effort to remove posts that are now no longer allowed. Believe me it took weeks to go through everything. Since Dec 2018 I've any not reblogged any 'female presenting nipple' posts. I do occasionally post tasteful implied nude images that comply with guidelines.

I prefer to reblog posts that credit the original creator. Posts that state via Pinterest, weheartit etc. are not imo valid sources.

If I see a post that I like that has had credits removed or additional material added that I do not want on my blog (self-promotion, inappropriate comments etc.) I will often go out of my way to reblog from the original source.

I like to find and reblog from the many original photographers on Tumblr.

I love hunting through archives and regularly reblog from blogs that I don't follow, including many blogs that are no longer active. There's amazing stuff in them archives and I believe it's worth bringing back into circulation.

I upload content as well. These are my edits of other people's work, I always credit the original creator and use material that is in the public domain.

Do I follow back?

I always check my notes and if i see a name regularly appearing I'll very often follow back as and when I get chance to check you out.

I follow a diverse range of blogs but this does not necessarily mean I share everything in common. Eg, I'm a straight male but many people I follow are not, I'm following people who make religious and or political statements but I do not necessarily share that point of view.

I am unlikely to follow back if your blog contains large numbers of uploads that are uncredited or are obvious copies from another Tumblr blog, has no or very little content, a large amount of nsfw, makes lots of posts written in a language I do not understand or has very little other material that interests me.

Although I believe in everyone having the right to an opinion, I will also not follow or will unfollow if your blog gives out negative vibes or if you are in my eyes a 'hater'. Eg, you regularly post things that are racist, homophobic, sexist etc.

Have I unfollowed you?

A while ago I sorted through the blogs I was following and removed about 600 blogs that had not made any posts in the last 6 months.

I also unfollowed a number of blogs that still post lots of NSFW. Sorry, I still like naked women but I won't reblog it anymore.

Do I block people?

Not had any reason to yet. If I don't like what's on your blog i simply won't follow you. I Don't care if you have an empty blog, unlike others I don't see that as a valid reason to block you.

#xscape-uploads #coffee #cats #xscape-personal #my photography #spring

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frecklystars · 8 months

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can you please tag all your barbie movie posts/reblogs?

Hi! :) Sure. I already tag it as #B//rbie m//vie (without the slashes. only putting those there so my response to you isn't automatically blacklisted so you'll be able to read this lol) but there might be a few slips bc it's been out for almost a full month now and I've been putting so much in my queue.

If it helps, I'm always trying to tag the major spoilers as #B//rbie m//vie spoilers (though my catch all tag is definitely just #B//rbie m//vie).

When I answer asks, I don't put most of my replies in the main tag because I don't want to crowd it. I will absolutely tag the asks if it has some major spoilers, but most of the time the asks don't have any major spoilers so I don't tag them as strictly spoilers (i.e. someone sending me a self ship prompt involving the characters, that has nothing to do with the movie in itself but ofc it mentions their names). In that case you could also blacklist my self ship tags for B//rbie and Ken (💕♫♪ ♡ You're the pink in my cheeks 🎀🌸✨♡) and (💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-)

However, to be safe, my blog is going to be B//rbie centric as long as this hyperfixation lasts (could be 2 days, could be 2 months, I never know), I would gently recommend you unfollow me for like a month or so... or indefinitely, whatever makes you comfortable. Or temporarily blacklist my URL if you don't want to unfollow. It's completely your decision, I only suggest it because I can't promise I'll remember to tag everything, my queue has 900 posts and I'm always refilling it to the very top and I kind of refill my queue in such a rush. My queue normally posts 10-20 posts per day, a majority of them are B//rbie right now, and I don't want you to have to accidentally stumble across a spoiler (or any other reason you're blacklisting it, if you're blacklisting because you just don't want to see ANY of it in general for whatever reason, then definitely more the reason to unfollow this blog). If only a few posts a week were B//rbie it'd be easier for me to tag things, but I'm completely throwing myself into this film. I'm fully immersed into my ships with the characters now and I'm going to be talking about it literally allllll the time. This blog is like... 90% B//rbie posting and I just want you to be able to safely scroll without stumbling on something by accident. I can try my very best to tag things from now on but like I said, there is rly so much of it... and there’s some things I don’t want to put into the main tag, like some text posts simply mentioning the name of a character (like my previous text post) but has nothing to do with the film/spoilers. Months from now I won't be tagging spoilers anymore bc the movie would have been out for a long time already, and if this is something that you NEVER want to see on your dash at any point in the future I understand if you'd rather unfollow.

#also everything im saying is genuine. im not sure how my tone is coming off #anyway thanks for asking nicely!#asks #anonymous #tl;dr: my blog is 90% b//rbie and i wouldnt blame u if u just wanted to unfollow for the time being ^^#but my hyperfixations never last long unless if it’s a special interest and this one is just a regular thing where #I put the characters in a jar and shake all the serotonin out of them like a pepper shaker

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thestarfishghost · 1 year

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Pinned post time wooo!~ (*due to severe health issues, most of my social media has been inactive since December. I hope to be more active soon. thank you for sticking with me through these constant health struggles, moots ♡!) Welcome to my blog! It's mostly just a huge mix of things I like. While this blog only dates back to February 2023, I've actually been active on Tumblr since around 2011. I no longer have access to any of my previous blogs. I try and keep this blog organized for my own use. There are a lot of tags that are used just for myself. Sometimes I tag things over excessively or scarcely at best. It depends on how I feel at the time. Also, my blog is on a queue 90% of the time. 50 posts are published automatically every day between 11 AM to 9 PM EST. Some of my tags are nonsense, and I might add more of them to this post as time goes on, but for now here is a small list of the tags that I use:

#personal space post = if I uploaded the post to the site, it is tagged with this. regardless of what it is about. if i posted it, it has this tag.

#that's not very moe.txt = THIS TAG IS MY PRIVATE TAG FOR THINGS UNRELATED TO ANIME!

#novvas_infinite_playlist.mp3 = hope you like Japanese hyperpop, because while this tag is still fairly new and mostly barren, that is the fate it will someday see. (read: the tag is related to my strange music taste)

Before I continue, I'd like to go ahead and say: I'm big on shipping. I don't judge others for what they ship/write/draw/create for any reason. I also don't care to inject real life morals into fiction. If you are against that in ANY way, leave. Block me. Either. I will block any hate or hostility on site that I see when it comes to my own interests. I also block minors indiscriminately. If I even THINK you're underage, I'm blocking you. This is just because I reblog soft NSFW pretty often and don't want to expose anybody to anything. I withhold the right to block or decide not to follow back at any point. I curate my internet experience VERY carefully; it's never intended to be personal! My only other ick: tag lizards properly :) please for the love of everything. i make use of the blacklist tag function for a reason. So yeah: No assholes about fiction, no underaged people, no *reptiles. that's about it. *untagged. tag em and you may reptile party it up! For more about me, hiya! My name is Novva! I'm an adult in my late 20s. I'm FTM, if that matters. If it does, please block me;;. I'm a life-long medical disaster otaku. I've been bedridden a lot of my life and because of this health cycle, so I'm a bit of a homebody. My hobbies include journaling, housework (I genuinely like doing housework, yes!), tending to the outdoor greenhouse, adoring my cats, reading novels (mostly YA and fantasy), and an anime hyper-fixation that rivals any other person I've ever been friends with. I've been obsessed with (specifically) anime for as long as I can remember. I have an older sibling that's a decade older than me who was heavily into comics and games during their childhood, and because of them, I naturally took an interest of my own. Sailor Moon and Robotech were both things I vividly remember watching, even though I was barely sentient at that point. Toonami was a huge part of my childhood after that as well, along with being involved in 2000s AMV culture and forums. Despite how many years have gone by, I have never let up on my interest in animation. I read less manga than I used to, and I absolutely play way fewer games than I used to, but I think my love of this specific medium will always remain my number one passion in life. This hyper-fixation of mine leads to my favorite hobby, merch collecting! Anime merch collecting is a huge passion for me. Turning my room into a head-to-toe comfort space that my childhood self would die for is my number one passion!~ I post my itabeya sometimes, but not as often anymore due to theft issues;;; please don't repost photos of my bedroom, that's lowkey weird. My only other public account is MAL which you can find here: IbukiFuuko Feel free to send me a friend request if you'd like. I should add though, my list isn't currently set to public. I have a few things I watched when I was younger that I barely remember that are sitting unscored on my list that I want to rewatch before giving a final score to. After that, I will open it to the public! Speaking of Ibuki Fuuko, SHE'S MY #1 BELOVED WAIFU! I adore her and have since I was a child. I go hard for this little weirdo, as you can see here. IF YOU LOVE CLANNAD, OR ANYTHING KEY HAS MADE FOR THAT MATTER, LET'S TOTALLY BE FRIENDS!!!

#personal space post #that's not very moe.txt #text post #about #pinned post

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spicy-cleanness · 2 years

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Hey, tag game!

@adhdgoblingirl found my Tumblr to tag so I guess I have to do it :D (joke, I just like to)

🌱 why did you choose your url?

Cause it's one of my comfort feelinga, smell of clean room with fresh air where some food with spices is being cooked. Also i love double letters. Cleanness is a cool word.

🌱 any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why have them

Just deleted the only my side-blog yesterday :') It was personal blog with photos of forest and parks in my hometown, exclusively for my mental health. But I've decided I don't need it anymore. I can post these photos here if someone want to see.

🌱 how long have you been on tumblr?

Not really long, not long at all. Since April 12th. I came here just in time to celebrate Neil banging out the tunes day, and that is the most important thing x)

🌱 do you have a queue tag?

No, I just rb everything right when I see it and then disappear for days, you know, like a real man /j

🌱 why did you start you blog in the first place?

Mmm, ofmd and wwdits i guess? Actually no particular themes, I just needed a new home, I lived in twitter for many years, but, yk, twitter. I needed relocation x)

🌱 why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Colors. And and kin this whole film as a concept. This particular character cause he is really nice and calm (and disappeared in forest for weeks once).

🌱 why did you choose your header?

Same answer, it's from the same film. I chose between this one and shot with picture gallery wall, but wall shot has too much free space, looks empty as header.

🌱 what's your post with the most notes?

Dialogue with @adhdgoblingirl about "default settings". 2700+ now I guess.

🌱 how many mutuals do you have?

No idea. I'm happy to have all of them, but a counting is hard x) And I always glad to make more friends!

🌱 how many followers do you have?

45 (I was sure it was 42, wow, hello guys :D)

🌱 how many people do you follow?

134.

🌱 have you ever made a shitpost?

I guess no????? But no idea tbh

🌱 how often do you use tumblr each day?

From 0 minutes to 6 hours. Depends. My mind is weird about using some apps.

🌱 did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Nope, never. I'm really quiet guy when it's about fights.

🌱 how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

I don't care? I think. Like. Bruh, but okay, if I like it.

🌱 do you like tag games?

YEP. I like it.

🌱 do you like ask games?

Mostly yes, but I often forget to answer so prefer not to play 😅😅😅

🌱 which of your mutual do you think is tumblr famous?

@your-ace-cousin-clover should be. Totally.

🌱 do you have a crush on a mutual?

Well my partner is here so answer is yes anyway :D ....i forget their url.... oh right, my dear crush @chlorigene say hi ':DD

🌱tags?

@baba-is-baba @yeet-wolf-in-the-stars @wikipedie @duke-of-fire @cent-cyan @your-ace-cousin-clover @chlorigene and everyone who wants to!

#tag games #ask games #wow this plant is talking #personal stuff

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hotshotshitshow · 2 months

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im not trying to be mean forreal but you arent gonna have people rbing your stuff if you don't tag it! 2 give an example your most recent piece has 7 tags total, two of which are personal tags that no ones gonna search so lets say 5. in addition to the ones you included which werent bad you should also include stuff like the medium (ex: #traditional art) and of course #artists on tumblr. tagging aesthetics that fit also goes a long way. plus a (no guilt) caption requesting that people boost your work. something important to keep in mind with tumblr is that its really good for circulating art LONG term rather than most social media platforms which prioritize feeding the neverending ratrace for whatevers trending. I am in no way a big name artist but my most circulated posts come from people tag searching and queueing. obvs theres usually gonna be the most attention over the first few days but also give it time! don't be afraid to repost or find niches who will circulate your stuff. post art and then link it in oc discords, too this isnt meant to admonish you btw more it makes me sad to see you get discouraged. you have a unique and compelling artstyle with genuinely swagful characters so the idea of you peacing out saddens my heart. i hope this helps, cya

Hey first off. I genuinely appreciate this, I am ngl I knew I shouldn't have posted that last night cuz I knew I'd be embarrassed about it later and well!! Here I am, feeling like a damn fool!! Sincerely tho, your words do mean a lot.

However, the one thing that trips me up is that back when I did use Tumblr more regularly, like several years ago, they had made it so that only the first five tags on a post were searchable, and everything else wasn't visible in tag searches. Has this changed? It's been a long time and I have no idea what's changed with Tumblr in the past few years but I've just been operating on the assumption that only the first five tags "count." Also I am just ... Not good at knowing what to tag things other than in the most straightforward way possible 😬

I definitely absolutely get discouraged way way way too quickly and I acknowledge that, it comes from years of a building frustration of posting on social media and never feeling like it goes anywhere while also watching those around me grow their followings. It's come to a point where it feels like if something I post "fails" then it tanks my mood on a hair trigger. And it's not healthy!!! This is largely why I've stopped posting publicly anywhere. Bc the reaction I've built up is so instantaneous and intense that it's completely unhealthy for me. Sorry to vent at you!! It's all just sort of coming out. I've absolutely poisoned the way I view interaction on social media for myself and it feels very entrenched and I don't really know what to do about it.

I want to share my art with people and I want them to like my art and asking for reblogs directly on art posts is something that always felt gross to me but idk maybe that's what I gotta do. I have this notion in my mind tho that if my art is good and people like it, they'll reblog it because they want to, not because I asked them to. It doesn't feel like people are sharing my art bc they genuinely like it if they're doing it bc I asked them to. And then people don't reblog my art, so it gets interpreted as "well, I guess nobody thinks my art is very good, otherwise they'd want to share it!"

This all feels very immature of me and I hate that this is how I feel. I definitely am very deeply in the mindset now of "well, nobody appreciated my art much when I did post it, so now nobody gets to see it anymore." Idk how to grow past this tbh. I am absolutely only shooting myself in the foot. Oh well whatever!!!

Anyway. Thank you again for this, and also if you did actually read this, thank you for your time and energy. I don't think you were being mean at all, you said what is true, I think. I hope you have a lovely day.

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izzyizumi · 6 months

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{Blog Info} The Beginning Spoiler Tags

Anyway, reminder I'll be using: #The Beginning Spoilers (when re-blogging) #TheBeginningSpoilers or #The Beginning Spoiler (Sometimes also when making an original post) Previous spoiler tags used include #Kizuna Spoilers #Tri Spoilers #Bokura no Mirai Spoilers #Our Future Spoilers #Kyousei Spoilers {Tri Pt. 5}, #Soushitsu Spoilers {Pt. 4}; #Kokuhaku Spoilers {Pt. 3}, #Ketsui Spoilers {Pt. 2}, and I don't always tag Saikai anymore (reminder this has always been an overall spoiler-free blog for older series, especially everything pre DigiAdv 2020, Ghost Game and Survive) but if it's concerning big plot points and meta, #Saikai Spoilers may also be used. #DigiAdv 2020 Spoilers is still being used for more spoilery DigiAdv 2020 meta and discussion, but also may not always be used depending if I can fit in tags or not (as the tag limit is 30 tags).

Questions about my blogs' upcoming experience with anything related to The Beginning under the 'read more'.

Which version are you seeing? It depends if I can even make it to the showing, but I'm NOT seeing the U.S. dub version tomorrow, and instead would be seeing the sub on the 9th IF AND ONLY IF it actually works out reminder I am Disabled and sometimes get chronic pain flareups, so we'll see what happens on the day of.

Are you planning to review it? Probably not. I'm not the type to make full-on reviews... If anything I will likely just reblog related stuff, and even that may not happen for a couple weeks still, as I have to build the blog queue back up. I almost have half a mind by now to refund my ticket{s} me and someone bought but its already the day before and I'm not sure I can. At the least my theater here might be pretty empty, so we'll see. It's not necessarily that I don't want to see it on a personal level (I very much do), but I'm going to be honest about my overall opinion once it's out.

Can I ask you your opinion on something {to do with the series}? As long as you understand I am not open to full-on "debating" about it (OR the typical timeline debates; or U.S. dub-vs-sub semantics) and as long as my opinion can be generally respected, catch me when my Ask box is open. Asks here should generally be kept specific to this fan base and this fan base only. {Also, more specifically, Adventure{s}-related franchise as a whole. Yes, I know 'Adventures' is not an official title and I do not need to be told that, it's for tags organization and clarifications' sake when I talk about the whole franchise.} (Just clearing this up now in case, since I'm not sure what the state of things is going to look like after tomorrow.)

#izzyizumi blog #izzyizumi digiadvs #izzyizumi 02 #izzyizumi d02tb #izzyizumi tags #(Anyway despite what I've been venting about I'm just clarifying this now since I had some ask me before)#(PLEASE BLACKLIST THESE TAGS *BEFORE* NOV. 9TH because I am NOT responsible if you choose to do so AFTER)#(I might rb some others' reviews and add tags commentary but it depends how soon I can do that after the movie is out)#(At this point I'm choosing to let the current queue run out and anything new will replace it later on)

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corancoranthemagicalman · 3 years

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If you’re Dean-coded and you used to sympathize with John Winchester as a broken man missing his wife and trying his best even if he didn’t always do great and you were an apologist for him until you grew up to realize his suffering was no excuse for what neglect and abuse his sons received in their childhood but you hadn’t realized it because John Winchester was Dean’s hero and he was your hero and you didn’t realize how strongly you and Dean had become one until you finally grew up and out from under John Winchester’s shadow and you know it clap your hands.

#John winchester #whoops there it is #love his character hate the man lmao #he's not quite Umbitch from HP to me but yanno I get it #dean winchester #to all the dean-coded Tumblr users #spn #supernatural #sam Winchester #the Winchester family #supernatural spoilers #John winchester's journal #Jensen Ackles acting choices did this to me #cqueue #everything is in my queue anymore I just don't always tag it

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #amoreena

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