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masterhandss · 4 years

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‘My Next Life as A Villainess’ Anime is over...

SO WHAT NOW???

A lot of us are disappointed that Katarina’s adventures are finally over, and a lot of us are gonna miss watching the wacky hi-jinks of our dense villainess. I’ve seen a lot of people say that they will stop posting or paying attention to hamefura after the anime ends, and while I might be the same to some extent, I just want to say that there are still a lot of hamefura things to look forward to after the anime ends!

These are actually some very obvious things to look forward to, but you know I’d still like to share them so you can use them to fill the hole in your heart that the anime left behind.

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Edit: (9/30/20) I added stuff, as well as a cut for all yall who says my posts are too long qwq

The Manga

Hamefura still has an on-going manga that is currently in Chapter 3 of the Light Novels! A lot of you already read it, and understand that it can get frustrating when there’s a lack of updates on the english side of things, but if you’re really curious, you can go over and check out the JP releases every month so you can have an idea of whats to come for the manga :DD (The fan translation of ENG Chapter 26 came out a few days ago so you know it’s not dead!!)

I’d recommend reading the english translation on Mangadex, since most translation groups officially upload their translation on there.

The Spin-off (Hametsuo/Bakarina Alter)

It deserves it’s own category for just how unique it is in terms of its reception in the western crowd. I know a lot of people probably read it, but I guess people barely talk about because it’s not really that far into it’s premise yet.

I just can’t stop recommending this manga to people (despite not going where I thought it’d be) because of how good the art-style is and how much promise it has. It updates monthly, which I know is a long wait, but it does pay off when you see the quality of everything. Plus it’s just fun to imagine how hamefura would go if it followed the typical “villainess otome isekai” format.

I actually love talking about hametsuo, so maybe my posts are woth the look ;; w ;;

The Light Novels

credits to @sparckle-art for the scans!

I’m happy to read that a lot of people are gonna go switch and buy the light novels after the anime ends! By the time the anime ends, the Vol. 6 of the LN would release a week later, acting kind of like a replacement of what is supposed to be a new episode for that week.

The fan-translated version of the web novel is available online, up until half of Vol. 4, but I still recommend buying the books on bookwalker (i don’t know if the sale is still there, but I’d recommend picking up the book regardless!). If reading the fan translation piqued your interest, then playing for the books would definitely worth your money if you ask me!

An increase of sales might show them that there’s interest for this light novel, and might make them translate the JP novels even faster! (or maybe i’m just too impatient to wait 2-3 months for Volume 7 dshfjsfgs who knows?)

My only warning is that the tone really does shift post-arc 1 (Fortune Lover I) so if you’re looking for harem hijinks, from spoilers I’ve seen I think there would less of that and more of world building. (ps. please stop asking me where to read it ;;-;;)

Edit: Volume 8 is coming out in a few months, with Volume 9 probably being released at either Jan or Feb next year, then after that it’ll be a yearly update

StoryMe Otome Game

credit to the hamefura reddit discord for the screenshots!

I’m surprised a lot of people doesn’t know about the StoryMe game, despite it updating every week alongside the anime. Just kidding I didn’t either lol, I actually found about this thanks to the hamefura reddit discord server! StoryMe is a choose-your-own-adventure otome game, kind of like those “Episodes” or “Chapters” game that gets recommended on Youtube a lot.

It’s still in japanese, which is probably why not a lot of people knows of it yet, but it seems like you can play as Katarina and romance anyone from the entire harem (yes, the girls too), so keep you eyes peeled for if ever it gets an english translation!

It’s basically the bluray Fortune Lover game with the DVDs, but instead of Maria, you actually get to play as Katarina!

(I’ll make a separate post for this later, maybe)

Edit: The game just came out in English in September 16, and just spat out a 11-episode update at September 30

tldr: go play it, it has 19 episodes out right now

Katarina’s Farm

It’s a newly announced mobile game with a web trial version that centers around playing as Katarina, trying to earn money and points for expanding your farm land, planting more expensive plants and getting the other members of the harem to join you! It’s a 2D pixel game that seems like it wouldnt take too much time to play (you can get the first 4 characters within 30 minutes of gameplay, but that might be adjusted in the mobile version) so I understand if it might not interest some people, but that’s still something to look forward to!

I made another post about it so check out the link to the web version here!

The Bluray Otome Game

While I can’t say this for certain, but maybe if there was ever an official english bluray release, it might include the Fortune Lover Male Capture Target Routes that are included in the game. Maybe someone will play it and translate it even! It would interesting to see how different the boys are, and give us further appreciation for Katarina’s influence and changes!

There’s a preview for a CG in Keith’s Route, which comes with the second bluray (no pv for Geordo ;; w ;;)

Edit: All the boy’s routes are out in Japanese

We don’t know if they’ll ever be released in English though, so hopefully someone translates them at least ;;w;;

The Manga and Yuri Anthology

Missing the hilarious and heartwarming antics of Katarina and her harem? Then you should check out the Manga Anthology (that has just been been translated in its entirety). It’s 14 chapters of absolute hilarity!

There’s also a Yuri Anthology, featuring the 4 girls of the harem! If you’re looking for more of that then, it’s an absolute recommendation!

Spin-off Visual Novel

Edit: They recently just announced a spinoff visual novel! It takes place after the Fortune Lover 1 Arc and features sexy pirates hgsjhgsdf

It’s just recently announced so there’s not a lot of info besides the company making it (it’s Otomate) and the fact that it’s gonna be an all new Bakarina adventure uwu

Bakarina Radio

I heard there’s a Bakarina Radio too, featurning the VAs of the anime cast.

I don’t know if its a regular thing or a one time thing, but its still worth checkin out!

https//twitter.com/hamehura/status/1309831738525278209

The Second Season of the Anime

I seriously wasn’t expecting another season, considering how different the next arc is, but I’m happy nonetheless for more Bakarina! I hope this motivates the fans to continue supporting the series, as a bigger reaction will definitely lead to more content for us to enjoy! I have a theory about S2, which I think is worth the read :3c

Other Otome Isekais

There’s a lot of other Villainess Otome Isekai’s that are worth the read, and a lot of them as just as interesting as hamefura, despite the lack of a harem (from deep rooted revenge to hilarious and crazy villainess, there’s a lot!) The quickest recommendation I can give is just looking up “Akuyaku” and “Villainess” on Mangadex (do both btw they dont have the same results), but theres a lot that doesn’t get recommended so do your research! I swear it’s worth your time!

Anyways, I hope any of these fill the hole that the hamefura anime will leave in our hearts as we wait for season 2! (sorry for repeating the same line again hdsfgdjhsfg) Feel free to add anything like fanfic recommendations and artists, as I can’t cover everything on my own, as those really help provide hamefura fans with content :DD

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dynamics-of-an-asteroid · 3 years

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Dont suppose you have a copy of the interview you could share?

For you, dear anon~

His Dark Materials: Andrew Scott on life after Fleabag and Sherlock

We’ve loved him as both Fleabag’s Hot Priest and Sherlock’s menacing Moriarty. Now, he’s back on our screens in the new series of His Dark Materials. Polly Vernon talks to our TV crush

Andrew Scott is mortified. The actor – formerly Moriarty to Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, then the Hot Priest of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag, imminently Colonel John Parry in the BBC’s adaptation of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials – arrives at the photographic studio, bang on the appointed hour, in a fawn cashmere cardigan with a fine gold chain around his neck, bemoaning “this terrible, terrible eye infection, which is making me so self-conscious. I’m so sorry. It isn’t that you’ve massively upset me before we’ve even started. It’s so annoying. But anyway…”

Scott, 44, is small, vivid, wiry and garrulously Irish, with a face that is not handsome so much as mesmerising, intense, sharply boned, symmetrical, startlingly expressive. Sequences of emotions so subtle and complicated that I can’t begin to identify or keep up with them ruffle his brow from moment to moment. And, yup, the whole thing is rather disrupted by his left eye. This is no light kiss of conjunctivitis. It’s a swollen, red, perma-weeping situation that engulfs the whole socket. Scott turns his face two thirds on to me, so the infection is largely hidden, which would probably help if we weren’t sitting in a brightly lit hair and make-up room with a massive, inescapable mirror fixed to one wall. “Oh God,” Scott says every time he catches sight of his reflection.

Stress?

“Let’s be honest,” he says. “Let’s not skirt around the issue. It’s being overworked and…” Scott’s eye begins weeping. “Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. Really, really very sorry.”

Wanna wear my sunglasses, I ask, holding them out to him.

“That would be a bit more weird, wouldn’t it? I actually did think about that in the taxi, but I thought that would be some sort of weird and screwed Invisible Man-type thing. I mean, it couldn’t be worse. And then we have to go and get our photograph taken. It’ll be one of those pictures where, you know, those creepy pictures… Of people crying?”

That’s what Photoshop’s for, I say.

“Anyway. Let’s just ignore it.”

I wonder if it’s particularly hard to walk around with an eye infection at a point in time where you’re not merely famous, as Scott is – a star of stage, screen and Bond film, winner of multiple awards, including, as of barely two weeks ago, a Best Actor Olivier for Present Laughter at the Old Vic – but specifically famous for being sexy.

In 2019, Andrew Scott became synonymous with, well, sex. While playing a character technically known as the Priest, whom the general public instantly renamed the Hot Priest, the spiritual support turned transgressive love interest of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s supremely popular Fleabag, Scott became a cypher for the nation’s more exotic desires. A deliciously contentious pin-up. Ground zero on an earnest social media debate about whether the Priest’s relationship with Fleabag should be considered abusive, power imbalanced, “problematic”. And that was just for starters.

The Priest’s sexual iconography extended far beyond the limits of the show, becoming the subject of internet memes and real-life merchandise (visit online retailer Etsy for your £12 Hot Priest mug emblazoned with an illustration of Scott in priest’s robes, alongside the word “kneel”, a reference to a pivotal moment between the show’s lead characters, which takes place in a confession box, the climax of which, assuming you haven’t already seen it, you could probably take a stab at). There was an unprecedented upsurge in young worshippers, and women started bombarding social media “influencer” the Rev Chris Lee of west London with nude photographs. There was much foetid fan fiction.

To be publicly defined by so much sex, as Scott still is, a year and a half after Fleabag concluded, and then to be encumbered by something as visibly unsexy as an eye infection, I can see how that might make a chap self-conscious.

Scott isn’t here to rake up all that old Hot Priest stuff, mind. He’s here to talk about the second series of His Dark Materials, a lush, expensive fantasy drama based on the Philip Pullman books, jewel in the crown of the BBC’s autumn schedule. The series was filmed through 2019 and the beginning of 2020 and had all but wrapped before lockdown. Good timing, as it turned out, because the extensive post-production processes, unlike shooting, could be completed in isolation.

Scott’s Colonel John Parry is an explorer, the missing father of the central character, 14-year-old Will Parry. He’s a man who slipped into a parallel universe some years earlier, acquired a “daemon” – an exterior animal-formed expression of his soul, a female osprey called Sayan Kötör, voiced with public-pleasing symmetry by Phoebe Waller-Bridge – and never found a way back to “our” world and his son. I speak as a fan of the books, which you might describe as a darker, existential response to Harry Potter, although honestly? They’re better than that. The show is great, a deft, rewarding interpretation, and Scott is an exciting prospect as Parry.

Did he jump at the part?

“I did, actually. It was definitely something I was into. We were doing a play and it seemed like a fun thing to do.” Scott is one of those who slips into the third person when speaking about himself in a professional capacity.

Had he read the books?

“Yeah,” he says. “I think they’re extraordinary. The truth, but told on a slant. I love the way Pullman tells children about spirituality or religion in such an extraordinary, intelligent way. He doesn’t speak down to them. He talks to children’s souls.”

Given that Pullman effectively kills off God through the course of the books and Scott’s a lapsed Irish Catholic who has suffered his share of shame on account of the church’s grip on his homeland (more on which shortly), I’d imagine Pullman’s books talked to Scott’s adult soul too.

Presumably, he didn’t have to audition. Presumably, he never has to. Too famous for auditions?

“No,” he says. “Although I’ve always thought auditioning is a pretty good thing to do.”

Why?

“Because you’re able to understand, ‘Oh, this is the vibe here.’ You think, when you’re an actor, you don’t have much choice, but I’ve always felt like auditioning is a good opportunity for you to go, ‘Oh well, I don’t much like you either. I think you’re dreadful!’ ”

I don’t care that you didn’t give me that part?

“Yeah.” Scott becomes playfully, theatrically defiant. “I don’t care!” He flicks aside an imaginary rejection with a churlish hand.

Will John Parry and His Dark Materials be enough to eliminate all residual overtones of Hot Priest sexiness from Scott? Maybe. He is a fine actor, no question, entirely transformed from role to role. I saw him play Paul, a narcissistic, fame-addled touring rock star, at the Royal Court in 2014 in Simon Stephens’ Birdland, back when his deeply sinister Moriarty weighed almost as heavily on Scott’s reputation as the Hot Priest does now. I’d watched him become someone else entirely on stage. “Oh, you saw that?” Scott says, pleased.

I quote, “Am I cancer?” at him, his defining line from the play, as evidence.

“Oh Jesus. Oh f***ing hell. Oh my. I’d forgotten that line. ‘Am I cancer?’ ”

The Hot Priest association hasn’t left him yet, which is why I find myself asking what it’s like to be the very definition of sexiness.

“You get invited to more parties.”

Better parties?

“Yeah.”

Better than during his Moriarty phase?

“Definitely.”

It must be fun to find yourself le dernier cri in sexy, according to the whole nation.

“Yeah, that’s fun,” he says. “I didn’t really like being associated with scary. It’s not what I’m interested in being, in life, being intimidating to people. It’s not part of my nature, whereas being sexy to people…”

That is part of his nature?

“Well, they’re very different things.”

They’re both about having power over people.

“I suppose they are, yes.”

So did Scott, bored of scaring people, say to Phoebe Waller-Bridge, writer and star of Fleabag and a long-term friend (they met in 2009 while starring in Roaring Trade at the Soho Theatre), “Write a role for me that will make everyone think I’m just really, really sexy now”?

“That’s such a good belt. Are they two ‘Gs’?”

“Exactly.”

——————————

Andrew Scott is not the easiest interview. He’s utterly charming. Really, just a delight. In between prostrating himself for the offence of his eye and apologising for not turning up the first time we were scheduled to meet (ten days earlier; a delayed Covid test result meant he couldn’t make it), he ensures I have a good time in his company. He is playful. He makes me laugh. His every utterance is delivered as a grand performance. (“Shhhh! Just… Shhhh!” he implores, placing a finger against his lips while expressing frustrations over the mindless jabber of social media, and he does it so powerfully, he compels me to be quiet, breathlessly to await delivery of his next line.) He finds elegant ways to flatter me. He laughs at my jokes and is terribly taken with my belt.

Yeah. For Gucci.

“Oh. Ha ha! I thought it was the Golden Globes. I love the Golden Globes. Ha ha!”

And of course, he’s Irish. Clichédly, melodiously Irish, which makes everything sound softer and jollier than it might otherwise.

As for the actual business of being interviewed, of answering straight questions with straight answers, finishing off sentences, offering more than a slip-slide of vagaries punctuated by vigorous hand gestures, none of which translates into print? He’d rather not.

He tells me, as he’s told other journalists before, this is because he’s interested in navigating the line between “privacy and secrecy”, then says he’s aware he’s sometimes “got away with secrecy under the guise and respectability of privacy”, as if signalling potential incoming slipperiness, which means I prepare to throw every trick in the book at him.

First up: amateur psychology.

Might Andrew Scott’s gayness be at the heart of his reluctance to speak more freely? Perhaps. This is no scoop. He’s been out for almost as long as he’s been famous. “I mean, as a civilian, I was quite young [when I came out], you know? But then, as a celebrity…”

He tails off, allows me to fill in the blanks. This is another of his evasion tactics. I can’t very well quote Scott on the presumptions I make about things he never quite says.

He had to have another coming out?

“Yes. And I have another one coming up.”

He has another coming out coming up?

“Yeah.”

So that will be, what? Tier 3 gayness?

“Tier 3, yeah.”

Scott grew up in Ireland at a time when it wasn’t legal to be gay, which could certainly seed an enduring reluctance towards carefree openness in a person. He invokes the concept of shame more regularly than the average interviewee. He was born in Dublin in 1976 to Nora, an art teacher, and Jim, who worked at an employment agency. He has one older sister, Sarah, and a younger one, Hannah.

He was shy, so started attending a children’s drama course.

Did that help?

“Yeah. Acting to me is not pretending to be someone else. It’s more like, this is who I actually am. The lie that tells the truth,” he says. I am none the wiser. He was clearly talented. He went from adverts to his first starring role in a film aged 17 (Korea, directed by Cathal Black), won a bursary to art school but took a place at Trinity College Dublin to study drama instead, and ditched that six months in to join Dublin’s Abbey Theatre. He’s been gainfully employed in the field ever since.

How Catholic was his upbringing?

“Well, there were Catholic priests in my life,” he says. “None of whom I wanted to have sex with.”

Does it amuse Scott to know he inspired a mass fetishising of priestly ranks? That in 2019, the Hot Priest would make, “Can you have sex with a Catholic priest?” one of the most googled terms of the year?

“Absolutely f***ing mental,” he says.

Homosexuality wasn’t legalised in Ireland until 1993, when Scott was 16.

“I always think, if I’d had a boyfriend then, which I definitely did not…”

No?

“No.”

He knew he was gay, though?

“No. No, no, no, no!”

Was he suppressing it or not thinking about it?

“I would say suppressing. Definitely suppressing. I don’t believe people just don’t think about it.”

An upbeat, cheesy jazz remix of something or other starts playing outside the room.

“Oooh, this is the soundtrack for this bit of the interview,” says Scott. He wiggles his shoulders to the music.

I switch to strict dominatrix interviewer mode. Focus, I say. You were about to tell me something good.

“Oh, shit, was I? OK. I think what’s really insidious is that people don’t ask you about sex or… People wouldn’t say, ‘Are you gay or are you [straight]?’ And the lack of directness is very damaging. They just didn’t go there.”

Does he think his family, friends, the people closest to him knew then that he was gay?

“No,” he says. “I don’t think they did know. Or maybe they have a suspicion, but they think, I want to be respectful, so I’m not going to ask about that. Then [when you do come out], people say, ‘Oh, I’m glad.’ You know? If you do talk about it. So I suppose what I feel now is, talking about sex or sexuality is important. Really important.”

Having said that, “There’s still getting rid of the shame. In a situation like this, 10 or 15 years ago, I would have been…” He fakes shock, horror. “Oh no! Polly’s just asked me about [he switches to a whisper] that.”

Scott will talk about his sex life only notionally. No specifics. For 15 years, between 2001 and 2016, he was in a relationship with the actor turned screenwriter Stephen Beresford (Scott starred in Beresford’s 2014 film Pride). Ever since, he’s refused to answer questions about his romantic life.

And he’s not going to talk about it now, I presume.

“No.”

What if we talk about it opaquely?

“OK.”

Where does he see himself, domestically, in an ideal world? Married with kids whom he’ll, I dunno, adopt or have via surrogacy?

“I like it. It’s bold. Am I going to adopt or…?”

Get a surrogate?

“I definitely think that’s something I would be open to.”

Great, I say, with blatant sarcasm. Thanks. How specific.

“Ha! I’m sorry. OK. Have I got any children at the moment? No. How can I… [explain]? OK. I was with a friend of mine in Dublin…”

His partner?

“No, no, no. Not my partner. Ah ha. I see what you were…”

Teasing. Yes.

“Ha! Yes. So, I was with a friend in Dublin and we were walking around and he was looking at apartments and I was like, ‘What about this place here?’ You know? And he said, ‘No,’ and I said, ‘Why not?’ and he said, ‘I don’t live a heteronormative life, so I don’t want a heteronormative house.’ ”

What’s a heteronormative house?

“Two up, two down thing. He goes, ‘I can live in a loft or a weird space. I don’t need those things.’ He was so proud of it. He really owned it. I think where a lot of one’s pain comes from is when you go, ‘I should want that.’ And so, to answer your question opaquely, I have kids I adore. I love children, genuinely, and I had a very happy childhood. But I also feel, if I don’t have kids, that’s all right. I think I would’ve attached a lot of shame beforehand, with not living a particularly heteronormative life… Even with being gay, there’s a sort of way of being gay that’s acceptable. And I don’t feel that any more.”

He feels you can be unacceptably gay?

“Exactly. Exactly!”

I ask when shame shifted for him and Scott says it was when Ireland voted overwhelmingly in favour of same-sex marriage in the 2015 referendum, which felt, he says, “like acceptance, genuinely. And I remember going out to this gay bar in Dublin and this girl came up to me, this cool Dublin girl, and she said, ‘What are you doing here? You need to go down to, I don’t know, blah, blah, this bar in some park.’ She was saying, ‘This isn’t the right gay bar for you. This is some shit gig,’ when the fact I’m in a gay bar in Ireland [at all] is a miracle to me, and then some person with a half-shaved head is telling me, ‘No, you need to go somewhere cooler.’ ”

His left eye starts weeping again.

“I’m so happy about that,” he says. “Even though I’m crying.”

I ask Scott if he has a game plan when picking roles, if he plots his course from Sherlock villain to Bond quasi-villain (he played Max Denbigh in Spectre) to sex icon, and, if so, what next? “No. Jesus, no,” he says.

We talk about the totalitarianism of social media, which he isn’t on, and share a mutual despair over it. “I thought it was something one would associate with the right, but actually, now it’s [the left] that is very ‘you’re this’ or ‘you’re that’. I find that quite frightening. It actually makes me feel ferocious.”

Is he not worried about being cancelled, of somehow saying the “wrong” thing, according to Twitter sensitivities, then having a thousand voices mobilised against him, demanding his firing, in the style of JK Rowling?

“I’m not,” he says. “I refuse to be. A very intelligent person I was talking to recently was writing a book and he said, ‘I’m going to get a sensitivity expert to have a look. I don’t want to get cancelled.’ I found that frightening.”

Is he rich? “Rich is the absence of worry about money,” he says. He can’t remember the last time he worried about money.

That must be nice.

“Of course it f***ing is. I think it’s a miracle. I really do. I was working in a French theatre in London for nothing – none of us was working for anything – and I remember the artistic director of the theatre talking about the fact we weren’t earning any money as some sort of virtue. I remember feeling really annoyed about that, like this isn’t good.”

This leads to an inevitable conversation about how the arts are suffering with Covid, including a segue down the Fatima route, the much shared government advert that depicted a young ballerina and suggested she retrain in something called cyber. “Her name’s not even Fatima,” Scott rails. “I think she’s called Desire’e. From New York.”

I mean to ask him about his experience of filming The Pursuit of Love with Lily James and Dominic West, stars of their own recent off-screen micro-scandal in Rome, just in case he lets any scurrilous insight slip, but our time’s up and it’s not as if Scott has much form on offering up scurrilous insight anyway.

Still, I feel grateful to him for meeting me halfway on the other stuff. And so I say goodbye to Andrew Scott, the UK’s foremost gay heterosexual lapsed Catholic faux-priest lust icon with a troublesome eye infection.

#''Tier 3 gayness'' is peak comedy #I'm not sure if I should put this in the tag but y'all can reblog if you need it on yours #long post #andrew scott

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littlebabycrybtch · 3 years

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bro..... im sooo tired of ppl being whiny freaks about ppl liking fictional shit ‘~too much~’. like bitches are literally fully convinced if you prefer acting out certain ideas in fiction but not irl, thats not your normal preferential boundaries but rather your brain is a mental illness BOMB and you need to be fucking hospitalized for being imaginative and having autonomy. like yall if its not taboo or smth shut uuuuhp man you’re not ‘concerned for their health’ or w/e you’re fully just tryna get away with being a nihilistic asshole who lacks sympathetic reasoning skills. listen to me. fiction is valuable. the thoughts we have on it are important. the personal lack of value you happen to put on a media is next to worthless. its not a fuckin waste of time dude, creators are people, who live in the real world, they experience it and have ideas through it and about it, they form and tweak their ideas while still definitely existing in the real world, and then put that back into the world with a new angle and new perspective, to share with other people definitely encountering it in , you guessed it , the real world. thats not disconnected. its not nothing. these things do not magically appear from fairytale land, they are created. stories mean smth, people tell them for a reason, its ok to feel smth for any story, why would we even tell them if not with the intention to impact others emotionally somehow i mean??? fiction does not Just affect reality, it is valuable to real life society, it is a functioning thriving part OF reality.

humans have told stories since the dawn of our existence. it is literally all but an inherent species trait for us to imagine things, its tied to each and every one of us, and to reject ‘fantasy’ as smth worthless to human life is frankly just fuckin wrong and weird of you. bitch we are Supposed to get outside the box, the fandom ppl you cringe your pants over arent thinking abt fake shit too much, you guys very often just arent exercising abstract thought and imagination enough, which actually hurts your ability to engage with it critically in all the ways its meant to be. if you dont see the value in fiction its because you put in no effort to form the analysis skills. in other words, you idiots dont get the hype bc you’re too stupid to get how you're supposed to compare a book to the real world it came from. ‘uu but cmon not everythings valuable what about [tumblr designated cringe media]-’ 1. ok! somehow you havent come to this conclusion yourself yet but thats not real, whatever ppl get to enjoy is not all abt you, your bias means less than dirt to others outside of hivemind social medias, you can keep it to yourself, ppl shouldnt care about it bc it means nothing outside of ur own space, its literally funny to me that you’re so elitist you want me to cater my interests to you, Your Standard Of Quality Isnt Universal, 2. ranking the values of fiction is the waste of time here, if you compare mlp to pride and prejudice ill dissect your teeth, different emotional impacts from tragic to funny to Just A Vibe are all able to be assessed as ‘valuable to somebody else so leave well enough alone’ if you dont have 2010+ funnyman brainrot disease that makes you incapable of reflecting on anything you can find a way to joke abt first.

i mean seriously like. whenever randos start engaging with medias you ppl dont like or in ways you dont get, the strawmans yall make up to get to be cringe culture vultures abt such benign shit, and almost Always at the expense of neurodivergent people with a deeply rooted undertone of extreme ableism might i add..... its just so selfish. u have a brain ok, you’re manipulative but we both know you dont Actually think ppl automatically default to being a waifu obsessed incel rotting away at their basement computer, stagnating their social skills and straying further and further from reality with each passing day, a poor disturbed wretch that you just HAVE to save from themselves, all bc they say they. prefer fictional porn or w/e to having sex irl. buddy thats not a big deal, theyre normal, just different from you. theyre fine, you’re just uncomfortable. as a functioning adult you’re gonna have to try and recognize that sometimes that feelings gonna be 100% on you, and you cant always just lie abt the validity of it to make ppl feel obligated into agreeing with you. this is gonna be one fragment of their personhood and your self obsessed brain imploding over how unrelatable that is doesnt fucking matter, grow up bitch like. how detached do you have to be to think thats so unstable or morally wrong.... its just a completely inconsequential preferential decision that only affects them and isnt a wrong choice at all cuz nobody has to get their dick wet if they dont wanna for any reason ever and thats gotta be that tbh.... and it kills me cuz they still inherently experience the real world and are capable of thinking abt it critically,,, even tho they... masturbate to drawings or w/e the fuck ppl think is unhealthy ???? like? imagination is just fun we dont need to moderate it anymore than we moderate other fun activities i mean lol ksdjfsd this is the DEFINITION of ‘just vibing’ no one FUCKING cares and it deosnt fucking matter the way you desperately try to make ppl think it does just so u get to be loud abt ur shortcomings as a decent understanding person.

‘uuuuuu im sorry but thats unhealthy :///’ you sound like a goddamn maniac dude stories are not unhealthy having feelings abt them is not unhealthy thinking some anime bitch that was DRAWN TO BE HOT , IS HOT, is not UNHEALTHY and you clowns arent convincing anybody you ‘care’ abt that concept anyways !! im losign my mind here skdlsdfsd medias are literally DESIGNED TO DO THIS TO PEOPLE... WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL THINGS FOR IT.... IT IS WHAT MAKES THE ART WE’VE TAKEN PART IN FOR CENTURIES, “ART”.... ITS JUST... HAVING IDEAS AND EXPERIENCING IMAGINATION..... whats wildly unhealthy actually is yalls toxic obsession with ‘harsh truth’ and validating your stupid ass cwinge feewings to the point where everything that gives your underdeveloped selfish ass hives has to be a matter of health and morals and whats ‘best’ for everyone. u dont know that shit!!!! ur a petty brat and im not ur mommy ok i wont baby you so u dont feel like the shitty whiny person you are, you need to grow and do better and think outside urself already, dont put the responsibility of making u feel right for judging somebodies benign hobbies on me. i wont bc its wrong and unnecessary. you’re not a savior no ones falling for that lmao you’re just a bitch girl xoxo get over it shit truly does not matter. let them write nsfw self insert fics instead of banging !!

to make it real do yall really not Get that basic consent kinda doesnt just mean ‘no when im not in the mood at the time’ but it means ‘no if i just dont fuckin feel like having sex ever for literally any reason at all bc i choose what i do’ and pressuring them, even with what your warped brain translates as the best of intentions, is inherently disgusting? especially with the ‘i know how to help you’ attitude like......... ohhh die soonly ew lmao! lay off this nasty shit already please it doesnt matter! stop trying to make it matter!! its not hurting you or them you stupid tumblr phd ass!! and like again yeah some media shits just truly gross but tbr now its like even That kind of shit, the Real social issues caused by Actually problematic media that ppl should discuss Genuinely without ulterior motives, is being used more and more rampantly as just a stepping stone to get to the needless mockery of other harmless things in the media they want an excuse to bag on.......... like a bitch cant just be grown and talk about problems at face value without getting a bully jab in. smhhhhh you all fuckin suck please just stop talking already. so anyways yeah being attracted to fictional characters instead of real people or w/e IS funny, funny how many boyfriends they have when u have none xoxo theyre having fun and you can die sad abt it they get to die 5 times in an angsty fantasy fic and be brought back with mouth to mouth by fuckin kakashi every time and then they go get lunch irl while ur updating tinder bitch ... different fucking strokes ig !

#long post//#i would like one free ticket to pop off please. thank you #can i cash it in immediately if you dont mind

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kingof-spades · 4 years

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Hi! I'm Hana, call me H. (if this is a thing) I'm a halfling. I watch both anime and "normal" shows! I don't write but I do reblog to show some love. Here's some stuff about me <3

If I have sent a request and it's specifically for your mutuals or if I sent a request that made you uncomfortable, please DM me or if you're too shy know that I'm sorry! I don't mean to offend anyone in any way <3

(hi to any person i sent to for a match-up. if it helps my #me - h has a few people's opinion on who they think i'd be best with, so you can look at that if it helps!)

damn, now i want a character anon lover 😔

Status: Offline

Updated: 12/26/20

𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚏𝚘 𝚘𝚗 𝙷

Name: Hana/H

Age: 19

Birthday: February 12th 🙃

Zodiac: Aquarius

Pronouns: She/Her

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight - girls are hot though

𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚊 𝙸𝚗𝚏𝚘

Favorite Drinks: Boba, Soda, and Coffee

Favorite Food/Snacks/Candies: Fruits, Fruit Snacks/Gummy Bears, Twizzlers- :), Altoids(wintergreen), Lollipops

Likes: Music, Anything/Most things Vanilla, Leggings, more to be added

Dislikes: certain Vegetables(sorry, i cannot stomach them), Jeans, my Voice, People watching me eat, more to be added

Height: 150 cm - 4'11

My Kinnies: Mary Saotome, Aisaka Taiga, Suna Rintaro,

Words To Describe Me: Complicated, Confusing, Sadistic, Indecisive, Extra :), ditz, etc.

My Love Language: Quality Time + Acts of Service

When I Made This Account: October 15th - Though I'm not new, just lost my old account :(

Current Songs I Love: Blueberry Eyes, Quarto de Hotel, Gotta Love the LOV, and any song from Melanie Martinez :)

Favorite Haikyuu Ships: Kagehina, Bokuaka, and Asanoya 🥺

Favorite Haikyuu Team: Karasuno

𝙷𝚘𝚠/𝚆𝚑𝚘 𝙸 𝚊𝚖/𝙼𝚢 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢

I'm shy at first but get to know me, I am a whole different person. I can be quite blunt but I know when to shut my mouth. If my man likes someone else, he better tell me instead of cheating :( I don't stand cheaters. I'm not the type to "forgive and forget" I'm pretty bitter(sorry), only sometimes though.

A pretty negative person, not gonna lie. I'm a foodie/snackie and also insecure. I am clingy... but I still need/want my freedom and space. I have a tattoo on my knee that says "everything" in the shape of a question mark, and a skull for the dot(y'know, the . at the bottom).

Absolutely not into "perfect" things or people, only sometimes though. I prefer those who has demons. I absolutely CANNOT handle people who can't admit when they're wrong, I can't find it in me. Into chill dates or exciting one or just chilling(ex. Like in the bathroom brushing our teeth while vibing to some songs <3) Loves a good comfortable silence. I bite the inside of my cheek... good or bad thing, I dunno. It relaxes me though.

I get what I want because I'm nice, but sometimes I don't because I can be a b*tch at times :/ I have dry lips because idgaf, sorry :(( I need a man that can get me the snacks anytime and anywhere because I need them. Or one of my favorite drinks, either one and I'll be nice/fine! :p I tend to suppress my own feelings and needs so I need a guy who knows me(im also selfish...). I need a honest guy who also loves me for me and would never judge me because I hurt pretty easily :((

I'm one to ask people to do my homework... and hope they do :) I'm pretty boring so my friends, etc have to be the fun one. My friends consider me bossy, I am, in a good way. I'm sensitive so people trying to teach me things will make me cry, only my teachers/professors can teach me stuff. You have to be someone I trust and is really special to teach me. I'm clumsy. I don't like compliments because I feel like I don't deserve them. If I run out of clothes I will wear others with no shame :) ahem, im sensitive. I like being a exception because it makes me feel special.

My best subject is English, but I don't think I'm good at it :/ I'm very cat-like :) Take me on a roller-coaster and I will throw up or cry and scream. Also a scaredy cat. On the outside I seem very crazy or whatever but at home I just chill. I'm a normally cool person. Please, I have so many issues and mental problems. I'm picky, yet I'm not? I can be easily entertained, sometimes. Like I can play with a string of yarn or a stick and not fall asleep from boredom. I have random hyper moments as well :)) Respect my privacy, thank you. Give me someone who doesn't mind me being weird, we can be weird together~

I wasn't raised properly. I learned most things a kid should know as a teen and also did everything myself. So I get embarrassed to do everything or anything in public/in front of someone. Practically slow and clueless :) I also don't really know myself :/

How my friend describes me: "You seem pretty straight forward and confident but at times you can be kinda shy you can also come off mean to some people but you dont realize youre being rude because thats how youve always talked. You can be generous and yes you are annoying and pushy. You also like money or expensive things." My friend kins me with: Akaashi, bit of Kenma, Nishinoya, Kageyama, Bokuto with the emo stuff

Took @shoutas-kitten info and added/changed/deleted a few things, with Luna's permission! (sorry im just not creative enough :( but i tried adding a few thing)

I hope we can be friends! Just know we're not gonna talk a lot because I'm pretty dry :( but I'll always support you <3 (also im not the brightest person, legit)

#bnha #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hunter x hunter #kakegurui #me - h

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swingxilly · 4 years

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20 random facts about yourself that might surprise people

I got tagged by @sapphicmadameumbralis, thanks friend!

Do you make your bed? Uh, I didnt use to but I tend to now. Its fairly new, I think I only started a bit over a year ago, when I moved away for half a year. But nothing fancy. Like. Only folding the blanket a bit usually. Bc I think its annoying if you have to remove all the pillows etc before being able to go to bed and stuff

What's your favourite number? Easy. 5. The story behind it is: I used to read a lot of manga. And usually they put like a character on the cover of the volumes. And very very often, not always but most of the time, on volume 5 was my favourite character. So I decided its my lucky number and it stuck

What's your job? Well its not really a job yet? More of a voluntary year? Its a thing in Germany, you get a bit of money and go to a few seminars and stuff. Mostly its to pass time until getting into university or whatever and getting a bit of experience. I work in a little library in town. Pretty sure it helped with my application business :D

If you could, would you go back to school? Oh, Id love to. Im a very nostalgic person, like... VERY. So. Idk! I miss my friends and how things were between us bc we all have changed and yknow kinda lost a few. I miss a lot and Im not gonna list it all bc I could probably write pages about this. Dont miss the less pleasant parts tho

Can you parallel park? Not yet but I hope I will in the future bc Im currently working on getting my drivers license. :') Lots of anxiety involved in that

A job you had which would surprise people? Im not sure if anything like that exists? At least not for me since I dont have a lot of life experience yet, so I cant think of anything rn. Im just 20 dude and Im scared of shit, so I'm not trying a lot of new stuff

Do you think aliens are real? Yeah. Universe is big, so why not 🤷‍♀️ Sounds reasonable to me

Can you drive a manual car? Im gonna go with yes. Dont have a license yet but as long as Im not in a crazy situation or inside a city, I should be fine. Country roads are fun. And manual cars, well we learn with manual ones here. Automatic isnt as common in Germany as far as I know. My aunts struggling to get a new one bc hers (its automatic) isnt in such a great shape anymore. And its not easy to find automatic cars that arent super expensive I believe? Idk, just what I heard

What's your guilty pleasure? Uh... Idk, everything I do? Does procrastinating count? Bc everything I do always feels like procrastinating all the time

Tattoos? Nope, I have commitment issues

Favourite colour? Yellow, orange and green

Things people do that drive you crazy? A lot. My mom and brother both smh love to not respond when you ask them sth. My brother especially loves to answer sth vague that doesnt answer anything at all. Idk, just one example, Im always annoyed about everything probably

Any phobias? Idk about phobias, just assume Im scared of everything. People, animals, being perceived, mistakes, the future, etc etc

Favourite childhood sport? There was a time when I was watching this volley ball anime and I REALLY loved volley ball. Batminton was also fun

Do you talk to yourself? All the time, constantly

What movie do you adore? Most Ghibli movies... Tangled I also really like and plan on rewatching.. Hmmm, I dont have an absolute favourite tho I think

Do you like doing puzzles? A few months ago I was a little obsessed with it. I had an app on my phone and would do puzzles while listening to some podcasts and it was a lot of fun. I kinda lost interest now tho

Favourite music? Oh boy, a lot of different things. A few soundtracks here and there, some bands here some there, its a mix

Tea or coffee? I hate both, but I drink tea when Im sick sometimes. I hate it tho

The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? An author?? I used to write stories and then I wrote together with a friend and now I dont write anymore. Also an artist probably? Aaalso a librarian bc my mom is one. (librarian is awfully close to barbarian and I love this actually? Just noticed it). The latter one Im currently actually going for

Im tagging... @rottentidepod and @hedwigs-art if you want to! Have fun if you do :D

#swingxilly talks #im too lazy to look for typos and stuff pls dont judge

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sirjustice235-blog · 4 years

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Some real factors

If u got all the trait of get to like Canada but u are a sitterholic not walking always and u eat much food then u find yaself arrested as placed below, meaning that’s your shortcoming to getting their as in Canada most have large chunk of farmed land where to monitor it daily as pruning and more needs much food to make you think and walk, which burn that calories meaning u wont eat again in the middle as sited in the house, another thing to investigate with ya if u will grab some few snacks which bars u from getting to Canada. Once Canada have learnt automation and making electric gadgets like phones, TV, pay TV and internet which they never had previously automatically makes them rich than USA as its more fertile than USA and the wheat in USA, the one from Canada can be subsidized to make the USA useless cause of Canada is much more than the USA 1 and the fear dude. Wanting to get everywhere good to increase their stake with nothing handy but just claims

When people disturb u with petty disturbance like wanting u to baby their kids as if u were his wife, elevates ya of wanting to have sex as u call others and they dont solve the problem instead join like with hyenas and wild dogs feasting on a prey a lion has killed. Abraham Lincoln was ape like as animal like in his posture as his face was flaccid as if u have taken Triple Ace vodka, so the luo do the same hyena described above to cement the truth above and the Lion of Judah character in genesis 49:12 which aint the case as that is the hyena scavenger character. Another they way along time Chinese used to fight in their movies as the joining scavenger to a fallen pray, so insinuates the same, Friends how will u be saying every now and then that u r that and this tribe wanting the best out of them as getting to their lands more than folks from other tribes cause ya dirty plans of subduing them are all known. Dude be ya-self period and now that u have learnt automation build ya land dude, stop this and that character like of a woman to bring home the biblical phrase “In the end we will make men like women strong” as another version which the correct way is affirmative action and knowing automation and making artificial foods as well as men selling within themselves to reap profits as men do not men all alone. Now u got it do, everything don’t circle around ya, don’t be selfish as their character is of a slippery fish and that bad character of abusing people and later wanting from the very very people is a Congolese pygmy character, so again saying they want to get to Congo and so on and so forth when they hear of good things which is a kamba very bad character as many Negros got that bad blood which if u think marrying 1 such, kinda, like welding fire sparks, u hear an ignited inferno to warn ya prior to stop tinting much race as may land ya into hell dude

The land few yards from Dala hera church ksm where chicken palace was was, where jets and choppers used to take off and land, along time when Migosi estate was an army barracks and most of the adjacent lands and the houses adjacent to white gate KSM as you go down the road to car wash was the home stead of King soul along time dude.

The cargo drone above can be set automatically the height it can get to vertically using bearing and altimeter machines to conquer, then set the journey b4 like when it remain 3 Km to destination slows down to enable land so it not pass the bearing it should land on the ground, where if u set the same on the ground using bearing 4 like 4 corners it will land on and mark it lands there to ascertain no guess work but perfect and correct automation to give u jubilation as another world wonder of not set from the computer but self set on the screen more charming to see that perceived earlier alternator generator. Malachi 4 and can not get lost coin parable to bring home reality as this can reduce intercity buses and trucks on our roads lengthening their lifespan.

https://www.azorobotics.com/Article.aspx?ArticleID=226

The same way me on-top of a woman though, my manhood small and talked about but it don’t fail to take a woman home as to achieve much of her organism and its a wonder b4 she resorts to start wanting to bathe with me or playing with it as if i refused she gets wild. When a kid they cut it and replaced with another as i have realized, same is to the same with a big 1 as i can now buy.

Me i investigate life myself as all alone, I use tooth paste worth 2 dime in 1 month which many use much as they got that cash but me i try to minimize the amount used daily meaning if a nation population is 50 M they will use the same 2 dime tooth paste meaning its 2 dime times 50 M which is $25 M things that every1 in an economy uses most, with sugar i use 1 dime amount weekly, meaning 4 the above case is $100 M, Tissue i used the same amount as sugar, Unga i use 1 KG weekly which is $ 1 meaning 4 the above case is $ 50 M and Matchbox i use 1 weekly meaning 4 the above case its $ dime per month translating to $ 50 M monthly multiplied by 365 day in a year, that’s why along time ago b4 people knew how to make artificial products that don’t need handwork Mr Hindu took people like flies as much as the kikuyu, kamba and luo tribes who learnt the same later than other tribes, so now every tribes knows the same, they became like praying mantis or a rained on cat. This means the tribes above wants high population to sell them as them they benefit as the not knowing tribes to make the above suffers as they are forced with early marriages to create the above and not get to other nation not to loose that market or money if u did not know, better to tell every tribe the same above so we have many making the same to stop the above and make such products cheap and govt take precautions as with artificial tea, sugar, flour or maize added to the original ones 4 those people to get again the same monies they imported the maize with into their pockets promising women that,s the last resort they will use to fund them when times get hard but now all blocked no-where to turn to resorting to talking bad on the media esp the kamba people.

4 the above products i have not talked of Milk and baby pampers with those having kids, if u got 1 calculate and post to us dude to tabulate. When the govt spend on ya than u give her, kinda,u became the target of annihilation and many know not,they want ya to spend money in the above to build the economy. They encourage prostitution as they use much expensive attires to lure the clients and that high taxed monies on such get into the economy, rather they give much to the govt more than they take dude.

All the bedding which were wood legged now are factory made and even the windows and the houses, toilets as we have seen, what is not wanted u wining the heart of women even if u r animal like the luo which might bring bad kids and stop economic progress out of jealousy trait, there4 we dont want people priding themselves b4 others or ruling others, we want a respectful generation who put others themselves b4 them as even seen by some gadgets placed on credit being payed daily to avoid the former case scenario dude, so if 1 take heed that if u don’t change, change will change ya period like with the people making the above beds women have detached themselves away from them and mostly now squatted in a rained cat/dog posture breeding apathy that their kids wont go to school as now school aint important as the 1st reason why kids where taken to school, was hoping they could make gadgets to save the countries imports which now as per tumblr a/c sirjustice199 we all know. Dude leave school and start making money early in another craft venture and be 1st in championing to reduce the population as now its handy and understood that the population ought to be less to foster quick economic development not as earlier debated.

Jamaicans they cant get along into us yet their land too small they want to get to ours, get no understanding rather stop, their music cant be played in rich agricultural lands like Canada to dominate yet we supply them with food. How can such happen even if now they have known how to make machines.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZaV7ZQ_GRM

In the metro-dome thing, we u see 1 strolling against the wall on the pavement it means they love solitary lives and food as can leave in Canada or Russia if their character were aint bad on food and its known that way as that i 1 signs and more which may bring animosity against ya and u know not. Other signs from the above attract the attention of other nations, and when accepted and can live larges u can come out and in at intervals but when u do something bad on the way like wanting this and that woman kinda, u r chained so u change ya character or the going out privilege wont be extended to you again. Most African and 3rd world leaders don’t like the former case, reason 4 ya derailment in ya activities

And even paints can be made with yogurt or cuddled milk when maize seed placed inside the mixture with much water in the boom process and even wedding cakes or picnic/birth cakes.

While walking along the narrow paths in the tea bush plantations, u can just pluck few leaves say 100 per person, lets say u r 10 as well as with sisal plantation then marshal up and make many in the boom process and even can set a mini-tea processing unit to process the same to make u rich overnight dude like with KS state has 1 and many i know not. Plucking as walking and Christ with king of the jew to bring out the above reality another version. Click the link below 4 more as even Negros were eying the same with coffee, tea, pyre thrum, maize, sugar cane and sisal by making much out of buying personal plots that harbors the same and that’s the confidence of their coming here as last rescue, so think twice if u want to manipulate them as they can be well ahead of u as have searched 4 tea markets in their nation and dense nations like Brazil and Nigeria to sell to and learn ya dialect to compose music to get ya share as they go back. So the govt to reduce land on tea to plant food crops as a 10 hecter farm when plucked and made artificially as explained below takes care of all Kenya export or other nations which import buy small quantity and make their own factory to employ her citizens by making much leaves out of the few bought

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk03QTnwMwPXAu2UYNFkJexCewuXBwA:1591698814905&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=images+of+tiny+paths+in+tea+bushes+in+kenya&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjTps6TxPTpAhWOYMAKHcP2AdUQsAR6BAgJEAE&biw=1280&bih=910#imgrc=mTDO35tALeXgSM

https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo/sisal-plantation.html

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk01jQh5VquMvMFhIFZCSoMa90Mwi3Q:1591699406833&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=MINI+TEA+PROCESSING+UNIT+IMAGES&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwja4O6txvTpAhWMUcAKHfBIDNMQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

The countries in the below link can boost of top producers yet not as they can be lazy to tilt as make artificial one in the boom process b4 mixing with real ones to sell to other nations to make them a head in-terms of Forex yet no handwork but gimmicks which if those nations sold to have learnt can do the same with buy less and making artificial 1 to mix, still selling to her customers at the no mixed type price, lest all the tom harry and dick knows about it to make theirs at home to reduce the extra-profit of no-work getting into the above people pockets, currently whats happening dude with like SA, India or Nigeria, dem poor if the client nations learns the same

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Top-twenty-maize-producers-country-in-Africa_tbl4_236267911

http://www.vib.be/en/about-vib/Documents/vib_fact_Sugercane_EN_2017_1006_LR_single.pdf

So the govt should take rapid measures fence the plantations where the start of the plantation beyond the fence is even 3-5 meter to deter hand plucking that make dubious business people rich ahead of others destroying the nation with the women they marry and kids out of such practices dude

Much yogurt mixed with water makes the gadget body not appear thick and vice versa, when the above or cuddle milk is placed on a floating cabinet or big like super drum and in the dark u rinse ya face with face towel b4 hurling to the mixture and boom a big yacht formed dude or cut banana placed into the mixture above and u sprinkle cold water with copier syringes and boom the same formed or inserting spare-parts of the yacht or photo in the mixture above.

Buy Russian TV to show shakiness as overtaken economy now u bring your own brand around in the link below, lest they change their rude posture or change will change them as per now as their dirty ways marked/truckled of thwarting others progress far from their spheres, control ya waters dude as my message

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk02xnbSk7H4DC9IqKTjuztJcFtx42Q:1591622869888&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=ctc+television+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwivqZqeqfLpAhU-Q0EAHRqoAZYQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

We were fighting me against ya and vice versa, so don’t send folks to ambush me that i ought to have opened 1 a/c 4 that time to post never to return to it, like sometimes i do 4 some days b4 resorting to the above as they see an additional writing. Its me not u and why u see that yet 4 like 5 years u have refused to accept the fact that if u guess the email of tumblr a/c u cant return to it. Looking 4 places to eat at, stop dude, me i will hurl u with stone lest police shoot me even in their post which when i report the same they have placed women with big 4heads which dont know where they are going. Look 4 ya types dude, u big 4headed women, i can be ya client in prostitution but not in matrimony dude period.

They came to ya door, Congo blooded men who still think Kenya IS RICH and they will manipulated the negro women as they have purported and what u like is what u like so competing with ya. Bringing kids they played part to up-bring while disrespecting ya and at that time have a sad face as if they talked to God, if u fail to hearken to their plights, kinda, u risk going to hell and they are here to help u get out of the same which as below is a big lie. Lazy people of no definition dude but the above is pure jealousy gimmick. They think at that time u live good, so after get ya poor story they immediately belittle ya which again is u show signs of maneuver, they show you their risk watch “SA“ in Swahili to signal u of organized theft in SA as i have explained it in sirjustice199 where a friend inducts u, with u if u do the same they have organized a shoot out 4 ya cause if they eliminate ya in the country it will be known is the Big man friends which can be catastrophic so they wanna do it the SA way dude liaising with some Chinese, Indian and Russian people. Big shame dude, your kids we mark, once all go well they are point of elimination either via frustrations or killed in other unknown ways dude.

Yeah, he has refused, yes i have refused and who is you dude, who now wants may food and kinda stay at my premise. Shoot me from the back or hurl grenade at me, you gays of no shame. Even that SA i want to make poor not to be thinking of getting to it like with how to make artificial oranges, fruits, eggs that don’t spoil the teeth, making electric poles and AE generator and Pay TV as u can google new African countries with home made such as 2goinvoice online source they get the same by placing money online as explained above. They monitor ya cash in pretense, u r lazy of little income but deep down want to send kinds to ya house. Very bad character indeed. If u can understand judgement is done in Minneapolis, get their, and if still not then playing insane to get buy or needs killing as king of the jew come in handy to solve that puzzle dude. Memorandum building in Clinton ave Minneapolis- Jesus alluding in swahili Mfalme wa yawhodi. They even say now u r Christo yet u have warned them many times of the same wanting to hit ya eye and still come back to ya the next minute wanting ya food together with their kids, eti they got something special in store so in future dont want mant to join to benefit from them, so u feel early as they are feeling to stop yet when u ask them of that thing, its hacking a tumblr a/c to delete which the software u have used they know not cause each timke u visit the cyber u download a new 1 altogether from the net and use as u open another everyday tumblr on their placed on computer software like mozilar and chrome which if they find the same when you left not logged off, they get happy they have the software they want to shift the a/c to cement the jew/Egyptian thing will rise to no avail dude. Stop guys and resort to farming as u have always done or other feasible ways known after heavy consultation dude. An advice bro

Kikuyu are now engaged in war as violence and the Somali to cement the truth in the link below that their teeth will be made white not with milk but by Hydrogen peroxide made out of Euphorbia in the boom process that if people could have not known the same they could be placing such in toothpaste can and selling like 300% above normal price as teeth whiteners so they build USA as most people use such to white their teeth from them and the bible was written to talk of the future that Christ is not yet buried or crucified as which year was hydrogen peroxide that use to teeth unearthed? Along time dude even b4 Africa colonization and their eye aint dark as the white eye rather red but can be brown out of illicit liquor sold and another reason they buy from Mr Hindu another set as can shift ya teeth to be white sometimes b4 they shift ya normal teeth or if u have eaten deep fried Nile perch hot they got nothing to do. So the people who changed the bible must rethink twice b4 they say they are insane reason why Kebi went their to investigate the above whether true or false.

https://biblehub.com/genesis/49-12.htm

They detergent in the bottled pictured below as 1 send me that link in my Fb as a text has the ripple effect of shaping ya head and very smoothing ya face. Try it women, stop much with ya face to no avail as the mirror u got aint perfecto dude, u may think 1 got to plastic surgery if they use the same

https://www.google.com/search?sxsrf=ALeKk03nZXDU0oDq384iYxfOtZ4m6TgxDg:1591611156916&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=baby+starsoft+bottle+images&client=firefox-b-d&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi2n4PN_fHpAhVVUBUIHYncDzEQsAR6BAgKEAE&biw=1280&bih=910

When after making holes to below the earth crust on ya boarder line from below as u now know the bearing, place cameras with lights which only can be switched on when need be as the camera got night vision to monitor any intruder objects. The camera can be wireless as the boosters that connects to such place at intervals until it reach near the hole as they USA the cooker timer and a dynamo technology to operate so no worry dude or just used cabled wire with like supplied electricity. No need 4 placing drones beneath if such proves futile or expensive to ya, moreover the camera should look down to monitor intruders coming from down as the mention in the former case looks forward as with Christ posture on cross after and b4 he died. Read between the lines dude, don’t be over taken by time.

The whites knows that kebi has defeated them, yet they want to know which kind of abuse that fellow will push forward maybe in terms of their old age skin type or of race as many are kikuyu and masai/trukana blood which kebi likes not and even more as he leaves his Fb not logged off so 1 can do the art of abuse b4 he is queried dude. India still rich with plastic surgery as they can shift ya baldness with a new airline from 1 who is shot or due to be buried, teeth or any body part dude and that’s the remaining strength dude

Kebi with Amagy mkubwa, get the story dude, dont wait

Magy come and shower, amagy answer my legs are swollen, or am experiencing a slight headache, an old some1 from Kenya countryside bad smell choked me to make me loose control to hit my head on the floor to bring the same, Now amagy come and cook my eyes are heavy will not make me tomorrow work good at work, or am applying make up a friend of mine is coming to pay me a visit, amagy come wash plates, it will erase my nail polish, amagy come mop the floor, am sleeping if i do so tomorrow i will be late 4 work, amagy i have bought food at the local Mcdonald, amagy insinuates gives me 2-4 minutes babe am coming and Finally amagy come and we have sex, amagy ni seke seke, oketo ng’amruok mbele ma yaani ameweka kutobwa mbele, setting her legs atease is her 1st another job as made easy without of thinking of the dubious tricks she purported b4 or wanting to play like still young yet grown. Middle life crisis, big shame girl, nene kaka-ongiyo kebi ka-ochongoriyo bird as women watch Christ crucifixion tentatively as if missing the grinding ripple of kebi tendentious manhood. Change girl, it high time.

Their is a certain glass like bulb that u can open as it houses the many bulb technology inside, when burns up u get them out and close the big bulb and still works. On the tip of the big open like bulb it has a step down transformer 120-240 to 30 V which the place inside bulb uses to brighten the whole house as if it was the normal 240 bulb releasing their4 less heat and radiation to ya body and a big plus 4 people who don’t want much heat in their houses at night.

Now its end signs with alternator generator u have disturbed Kebi 4 almost 5 goods years and with this will not take even 1 year to elapsed b4 u r finished lest u change. With source with aluminum bars are not yours 4 u to claim only the cooker timer and dynamo technology, question is why not the former to be claimed or u make? Stop dude!!! Time 4 reckoning is handy as a day of judgement around the corner dude the same Italy makes even small and cheaper more than China made 1 like Linz or Merrali Alternator Generators.

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blackarmyslave · 5 years

Text

Masquerade [IkeRev]

Pairing: Ray Blackwell x Alice

Fandom: Ikemen Revolution

Notes: really trashy writing oof

Pshh dont act so suprised its another ray thing

Alice hated masquerade balls.

She hated them with a passion. There was just something irritating about them... how those disgustings pigs, commonly referred to as men, often tried to lure her into bed; or how, every time she talked to women, their conversations would almost always end up in gossips about her family's riches that were acquired with bloody hands, and how they killed countless people under a single man's orders, not knowing the person they were talking to about it is part of said family. Yet despite her loathing for occasions like these, Alice would still have to attend, for it was the only way she could fraternize with others. Her family was shunned by society for being such a hideous and brutal one. But here, in masquerade balls, she can wear a mask and pretend to be someone else and mingle to her heart's content. Nobody would know it was a girl from a bloody household.

Once or twice, Alice had danced with a few nobilities she considered decent enough for her. Those who weren't pedophiles, she conversed with. Those who were purely sober, she'd bonded with. But it was way past midnight now and she had gotten bored of the ball. A woman can only take so much soulless dancing and meaningless political talks. Not to mention the rough mask that hid her face from bashers, was starting to irritate her sensitive porcelain skin.

With a forced smile, the young descendant of the country's most infamous household excused herself from the festivities and went to the garden. Truly, it was a beautiful garden. The flowers were in full bloom and the breeze was refreshing. Alice stretched, in a way that was very undignified. Yet she couldn't care less. Her muscles were sore from keeping up a flawlessly upright posture all this time, and she was bored beyond measure.

The itch on her face that was long there reached its peak, and Alice couldn't take it anymore. She moved to dispose her mask until a voice warned her, "It's rude to take off your mask in a ball like this."

It was a man's voice, smooth like the waves and light as the garden's breeze. Undoubtedly, it had belonged to a young man... a cool young man. But Alice despised people who dared talk to her so fondly. She swirled around to reprimand whoever it had been.

"I don't recall holding responsibility to oblige," she retorted, her prissy tone leaking with every syllable. One corner of the man's lips slowly curled upwards in an amused smirk.

"Then by all means, go embarrass yourself."

Alice scoffed with irritation. Who does this man think he is? Yes, it's true that taking off your mask is a big no in a masquerade ball, but--

Oh.

She suddenly felt like smacking her forehead. If she takes the accessory off, she's to reveal her identity. And no doubt receive countless ridicules. And Alice didn't want that, especially from a man like him. Her cheeks flushed in realization. Suddenly the girl wanted to keep it on and couldn't feel the itch anymore.

"You're from the infamous Bright household, aren't you? Alice Bright, if I'm correct; twin sister of Edgar Bright, the Jack of Hearts and known as the Gentle Demon." surprise mf

Alice took her time studying the man. How had he known about her? What gave it away? What had she done to inform him of her identity? Most of all, who is this bastard? He was handsome, without a doubt, even with a mask on; black hair and intense emerald eyes, containing a youthful aura, but at the same time holding himself with such composed regality. His body was carved to perfection. He wore a simple yet dazzling dark sapphire mask with round diamonds literring it, the suit on his body looking ridiculously expensive.

Dark and regal... only one name clicked in the girl's head: the popular and widely loved King of Spades.

"I take it you're King Ray Blackwell...?"

The man rolled his eyes distastefully at the attached title. But he made no move to deny his identity, something that's against tradition. 'How hypocritical,' Alice thought dryly.

"Forget the King part, it's too preppy for my tastes," he said. "Just Ray is fine."

Alice rose a thin eyebrow. For a king, Ray Blackwell was too casual. She's always depicted him as cold and dignified, with no intention of fooling around; just like the opposing King of Hearts. Yet here he was: the Black King himself who didn't give a horse's muck whether people found out about his identity or not, speaking informally as if he'd known Alice all their lives.

'Charming-- I mean, preposterous! Ghastly!'

Well... what can she say? It's her first time meeting a man like Ray; someone true to himself and didn't stumble foolishly in a vain attempt of becoming the perfect gentleman.

But no. In the Bright household, emotions were a mortal sin. It was the biggest crime. And Alice grew up all her life believing it.

Naturally, she ignored her fluttering heart.

"So," Alice walked around the garden with Ray. She hadn't even noticed how her irritation with him had suddenly faded after witnessing his genuine personality. "The King of Spades is a fan of balls, then?"

Ray snorted. "Heck no. What makes you think that just because I attend 'em, I like 'em? Isn't everyone only here for the sake of making connections?"

"Probably." Alice would be damned if she voiced her agreement. "And does that rule apply to you as well, sire?"

Ray gave the girl a disgusted look. She only blinked, urging him to voice out what took him aback.

"Okay. One, it doesn't. I'm just here to let loose for a bit. Second... Cut that formality out! It's creepy." "Why so? Do your soldiers not address you that way?"

Ray's green orbs took on a fond light, giving Alice the answer right away, as if his memories of his subordinates were all warm and cozy. One could tell he was a good leader and a true king by just a glance of that. And maybe, she thought, he was a brother, too; a brother to the rest of his army. Alice wondered how they treated each other... did they eat at the same table? Did they disregard ranks and fraternized comfortably? Was it like a home in the Black Army's headquarters?

"They address me as a king during official business, yes," he replied. "But we're just ourselves around one another for most of the time. Parties every week or so, lots of laughter and pranks... it's like a brotherhood."

The faintest trace of a smile ghosted the girl's lips. "It sounds lovely."

From there, it went on and on. Ray asked Alice what was her favorite animal, to which she replied cats for they were elegant and had the cutest little mewls; and much to her surprise, Ray shared her thoughts. She, in return, asked him what he thought about table etiquette, and he laughed at just how preppy Alice was being. Nevertheless, he answered her, saying "I think dining fancily's fine if serious stuff are going on, like funerals or oathtakings. It's a way of showing respect. But people shouldn't be judged by how they act at the table. In fact, class shouldn't even be a social judgement or something. 'Course, this is just my opinion. And I think table manners should be kept to a minimum. People deserve to enjoy their food and time without fear of being critiqued of how classy or polite they are. They should be able to be just themselves in a table, because after all, that honesty's bound to form really tight relationships real quick, no?"

A bit more of talking and before she even knew it, it had been past 3AM now. Alice never thought it would be so fun to converse with the king. He was honest and frank, yet still respectful and even funny. They shared a lot of opinions about several topics, and one's answer changed the perspective of the other. The Bright lady wished to the twinkling stars high above she'd get another chance at talking with Ray in the future.

Now, Alice knew she shouldn't be rooting for the opposition. Her household is a Red through and through. In fact, her brother's the Jack of Hearts himself! At the back of her head, the ever-obedient little prodigy of the Bright family screamed at her to get away and cut off all connections with Blackwell. 'What do you think you're doing?!' a part of her screeched.

But right now, she wasn't really a Bright. She was just Alice. Little ol' Alice, who came to a masquerade ball in hopes of being able to talk to whoever she wants without her status bothering her. And she wasn't ready to throw that away just yet, and return to her uptight lifestyle.

'Just not yet, please,' she pleaded with her own self.

Suddenly, a slow, hopeful, smooth tune took on. It was faint and distant, coming from the ballroom many yards away. Yet she and Ray both heard it, the melody carried by the wind to their ears, and Ray took the cue.

"May I have this dance, Alice?" He asked her, the gentlest, most handsome smile on his lips, offering her his hand, and the girl's heart skipped a beat.

Had it been any other man; a pretentious, try-hard fake gentleman or a drunk bastard, she would've slapped. But no... not this one. He was a bastard, yes, the feisty part of her claimed, but he was a good bastard. A modest, decent, alright bastard.

Alice let her face be lit up by a grin. It had been her first in so long. She placed her hand on top Ray's and they both started dancing to the slow, almost-romantic music, everything else fading and all they could feel was this blossoming warmth in their souls.

And long after the song was over, and all was said and done, they still remained in one another's embrace. Red and Black forgetting their blazing feud for even just a moment; even in just a masquerade ball. They're just Alice and Ray, each silently praying dawn never comes and they'd never have to say theeir goodbyes.

Alice giggled under her breath. She'd decided. Maybe masquerades aren't so bad after all.

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under-the-blue-sun · 5 years

Text

vanilla softserve sort of day

summary: dan doesn't want to go outside today, but when his best friend and crush phil lester turns up at his doorstep...well, he had to change his plans a little.

word count: 4117

rating: teen & up for swearing, but it’s mostly just fluff

warnings: profanity

note: first(ish) phanfic so uh hello phanfic community nice to meet you i guess. this is a little rushed and crappy but im putting this out there anyway so let’s just see how that goes. inspired by liana flores’ softserve - please check her out, the link is here and she is amazing and so underrated i love her so much.

read on ao3 | read on ff.net

dear diary laptop thingy,

today began as a perfectly sunny day. and when i mean perfect, i mean absolutely perfect. i wasn't dying and sweating because of the heat, but it wasnt cold enough so i would shiver to death. the perfect weather to go outside, run around in a park and walk my dog. so obviously i stayed inside, sleeping till eleven am. that is, until i was woken up by the doorbell. i leapt out of bed and ran to the door in my pajamas. i know that that's bad, but in my defense i thought that my brother had left something at home and he was coming back to get it. it was holidays for me, but my brother's last day of school was today and my mother had to go to work. and as far as i was aware, my mum had not ordered anything online since she swore off it so i couldn't see how it could be anyone either than my brother and my mother, for who would want to see me?

yet, i opened the door and saw the one and only phil lester.

now i know you do not want to read through another in-depth description of phil lester. i was just rereading my other few entries and uh, i wrote a lot of things about his appearance and personality. but he did truly looked stunning, just standing there at my front door. somehow, he had looked even better since he got the very fashionable quiff and since he started to embrace his glasses. he was wearing a blue shirt and jeans, which accentuated his beautiful blue-green-yellow eyes and he had his dog, buffy, on a lead. she tried to run forward to greet me, almost choking herself, but phil held her back. and then he fucking smiled at me, which, as normal, was fucking death, which is a bit of an issue when he smiles a lot and he's your best mate, but i swear to fucking god, his smile could light up the entire world.

"hi." he said, still fucking smiling.

"i didnt expect you." i noted, like a reasonable human.

"yas, you didnt. nice pajamas." he said.

of course. of all the days, i just had to be wearing my wonder woman pajamas. i fucking hate this world.

"yeah, they are pretty nice. what are you doing here?" i asked, pretending i wasn't embarrassed.

he fiddled with his fingers, acting adorably flustered. god, i fucking love him. "well...you said you were home alone this week and that you were going to be really bored. so i thought i could, you know, turn up as a surprise." he said. i blinked.

"i dont...have anything planned." i said. he laughed, his stupid tongue sticking out of his beautiful teeth. god, please murder me.

"i know you dont, you spork. it is sunny out today, so i was wondering whether you wanted to go on a train with me to the beach?" he said.

i didnt respond for a few seconds so i could process this information. he is so fucking cute?? and nice?? i did not understand, so daniel.exe just shut down. but like?? still??? i said i was going to be bored on the week and that i had nothing to do, so he turned up at my front step and asked whether i wanted to spend some time with him. like who?? would do that??? honestly, he really was the best friend ever.

"it's okay if you don't want to, i was just asking, you don't have to, there's no pressure!" phil said quickly, his face turning red. it was only then that i realised i hadnt said anything for like a whole minute. oops.

"no, no, i would love to! i was just...surprised that you would think of coming here and asking whether i wanted to spend time with you." i quickly said, trying to make up for my mistake.

"you were surprised i wouldn't at least come and say hi after hearing my best friend was bored and free during the week? daniel james howell, i am truly disappointed in you." phil said, shaking his head.

so i took sookie, my dog (yas, phil and i have matching pup names) and wore my sunglasses. i wore the first clothes in my closet that were reasonably presentable (black, of course) and i went to the door. phil was on his phone playing crossy road (probably as the emo goose) and didn't notice me come out of the house.

"um...hello?" i said. he went pink, embarrassed he didn't notice me beforehand, and looked at me for a while. all i was thinking was fuck, i probably look bad.

"is there something on my face?" i asked. he went pinker and shook his head.

"no, it's nothing." he replied. "let's go!"

the train trip was as breezy as the wind today and before i knew it, we were at the beach. phil tried to chase some seagulls to talk to them like the dork he is, but i pulled him away.

"aww. but i could have been the next doctor dolittle." he complained. i rolled my eyes.

"we already discussed this. you cannot become a doctor, as you would be known as dr. phil and that title already belongs to one human and it will continue to belong to one human only." i said sternly. he pouted.

"but what if i legally changed my name? then could i become the next doctor dolittle?" he begged.

"what would you even change your name to? mo?" i asked, struggling to not smirk.

"mo? mo...lester. what? no! i dont want my name to be the word someone who sexually assaults others! i would change my name to...sylvester. then i could become sylvester lester!" he exclaimed.

"sylvester lester from manchester." i said with a grin.

"yeah! i like it!" he said. he looked so fucking happy, how could he ever want to spend time with me, who literally sucks the happiness out of everything? truly one of the world's greatest mysteries.

"it does have quite a ring to it," i admitted, "maybe you should change your name."

"then i could be doctor dolittle! well, the equivalent of him. doctor sylvester lester from manchester who goes on...questers...to communicate with other animals." he exclaimed. i shook my head.

"no phil, you ruined it. questers? really?" i said.

"i couldn't think of anything else that would rhyme!" he protested. i shook his head. sookie shook his head with me.

"see, even sookie knows what's up!" i said.

"well, buffy would never betray me, so take that!" phil retorted playfully. he then suggested we go grab some lunch, so we went to the local cafe and got some fish and chips.

it was a cute cafe. there was hardly anyone there as it was still technically a working day, which was good for us as we got an outdoor table for our dogs. sookie hungrily stared at my food, hoping for a chip or two. even though my mum hates giving sookie human food, she wasn't here to tell me not to give her any, so i gave in and allowed her to take some of my chips. while i was feeding sookie under the table, i listened to phil talk.

"did you know that a lot of fish in fish and chips is actually shark?" he said. i raised my eyebrows.

"i refuse to believe that. where did you hear it?" i asked with doubt.

"i don't know, i think someone told me on this science camp or something, i don't know." he replied, visibly attempting to recall where he heard it.

"right, okay, really reliable source there. even if it's true, i don't care. i don't care if this is raw shark, or raw octopus or some shit, it tastes good so i'm going to continue eating it." i said.

"octopus tastes different from regular fish, dan. i think you would know if you were eating raw octopus." phil pointed out.

"i don't care! i don't care! watch me! i don't care!" i exclaimed. phil laughed as he shook his head.

we finished the meal in ten seconds flat, like the ravenous, greedy brutes we were and then i paid, despite phil's protests.

"why did you pay? i should have paid! this is my treat to you!" phil exclaimed, continuing to argue even after we had left the cafe.

"yeah, and that is my thanks to you for taking me out." i said back. he huffed.

"yeah, but i wanted to treat you." he said.

"if you wanna try me, get me a ninety-nine." i said, pointing at the ice cream truck ahead. he groaned.

"but they're always so expensive. way more expensive than it should be, anyway." he whinged.

i shrugged. "i mean, if you wanna treat me -"

"yas, i'll get you a ninety-nine!" he blurted out, interrupting my sentence. "i might as well get myself one as well."

and soon, i had a vanilla softserve in my hand and an irritated phil to my right.

"why are they even called ninety-nines when they're not even ninety-nine pence?" phil asked.

"it's actually because italian people thought -" i began, but phil cut me off.

"i don't want to hear. they should be ninety-nine pence is all i'm saying." phil griped.

"if you don't want your ninety-nine, you can go ahead and give it to me," i offered.

"no, it's still mine." phil said. he stuck his tongue out at me, then took a huge lick of the ice cream.

"or is it?" i said. i leaned over and licked his ice cream.

"hey!" he cried. he leant over and licked my ice cream.

"see? now we're even steven. no need to get angry." i said. he shook his head while i manically cackled.

"race you!" phil shouted. i stopped laughing and i saw him in the distance, already running.

"wha - i -" i stuttered, before sprinting as well. by the time we just got to the end, we were both huffing and puffing, unable to breathe.

"i...beat...you." phil said, exhaling after each word. my brain protested "because you had a head start!" but my body was unable to comply, and all that came out was "head...start.". phil and i simultaneously collapsed on the floor.

after five minutes, i stood up and looked at where we had run from.

"you know, it wasn't that far, we're just grossly unfit." i observed.

"the things we sacrifice to play hours of video games." phil replied, shaking his head. "hey, how about we go on the beach?"

before i could reply, phil was on the beach, looking up at me with a grin. i shook my head.

"now sand is going to be in your socks and shoes." i pointed out. he threw his vans to the side and stripped his socks off.

"there!" he declared. "problem fixed!"

"phil!" i exclaimed. he tilted his head in confusion.

"what?" he said innocently.

"you can't just - oh, whatever," i said, giving in. i jumped down to the beach and i took off my socks and shoes.

"happy?" i asked, both eyebrows raised. he smiled, eyes crinkling with happiness.

"very." he said. he lay down on the beach, but jumped up abruptly.

"what?" i asked. he rubbed his back and dug in the sand with his fingers. he plunged his hand in and pulled out a huge conical shell.

"woah, look at this!" phil said with a huge grin.

"was that sticking up your back?" i asked. he nodded solemnly. i laughed loudly and obnoxiously as he pouted. he was so cute when he pouted. why did i have to go through this? this was straight up homophobia.

"hey, let's look for more shells!" he said.

"why?" i groaned.

"because it'll be fun?" he said, with puppy dog eyes. i groaned, but decided to humour him anyway.

"where are you going to put the shells, phil?" i asked. he pointed at his hoodie pocket.

"in here, of course!" he said.

"how many shells would you even be able to fit in there?" i asked. he shrugged.

"as many as i can. come on, let's hunt for shells!" he said, already running across the beach with buffy and sookie. i sighed and chased after him, trying not to grin after he started screaming.

and it turns out he was right. with a little help from my hoodie pocket, we managed to collect a whole lot of shells. somehow, we had managed to spend hours on the beach, rolling in the sand and grabbing shells.

"we should probably have dinner now." i said. he laughed and shook his head.

"what?" i asked innocently.

"nothing. just the people in the restaurant will probably think we're crazy, covered in sand and pockets bulging with shells." he said. i looked at him, his hair in the wind and his multicoloured eyes somehow matching perfectly with the sea. his face looked beautiful under the light of the sunset, and of course his smile was just as stunning as it was this morning at the front door. suddenly, i started laughing too, and he started laughing harder, and soon we couldn't stop until we were just two idiots with one shared brain cell, laughing our head off till we couldn't breathe.

to be honest, i don't know what was so funny. it wasn't phil's best joke, nor his cheesiest, nor his dirtiest or his most ironic. maybe it was just the absurdity of it all, that we had spent our entire day collecting shells on the beach with our dog. but at that moment, i was certain it was because of the impossible existence that was phil and how he managed to be so fucking beautiful and nice. that's why i was laughing anyway, i have no idea why phil was laughing his head off.

"yeah, let's wait for awhile before dinner. you can come to my place if you want?" i offered. he shook his head.

"nah, it's fine. i'll just go home and have dinner there." he said.

"please. have dinner with me. it'll be my treat back to you for making sure i didn't stay inside sleeping all day." i said, practically begging. i looked at him as the breeze blew against his face, and at that particular moment i was more in love with him than i ever could've imagined someone could be.

he looked back at me for a while, then relented. he smiled and shuffled closer towards me.

"sure. i'll love to have dinner with your family." he said.

we sat in comfortable silence, looking off into the horizon.

"the beach during sunset really is beautiful." i observed.

"yeah. really." he eloquently replied. i turned to him, and realised he was still looking at me.

"fuck, i can't deal with this anymore." he muttered. i frowned, quizzical. and then he interrupted my thoughts and kissed me.

my brain went completely empty of all the thoughts i was thinking before and all the logic i normally apply to situations. i stopped thinking about the maths homework i was supposed to do, and how we had to go all the way back to the other end of the beach to get our shoes and socks back if they were still there, and how the weather forecast said that it might rain later this evening. the only thing that i was thinking about was how phil, my best friend, crush, soulmate and companion through life, fucking liked me back and that he was fucking kissing me.

holy shit. even now as i'm typing this, i still can't believe it. this kind of thing only happened in cliche rom-com tv shows and movies. but yet it was still happening. Philip Michael Lester, the attractive, polite, intelligent, thoughtful, kind human being, was kissing Daniel James Howell, the impolite, sarcastic, idiotic, emo, ironic demon. just...fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

"i really like you dan." phil said quietly, avoiding my eyes. i took his hand and placed it in mind.

"i really like you too." i said, smiling. he looked up at me and smiled. we sat, hand-in-hand, and watched the sunset in silence.

"let's go home." i said.

"let's go home." he repeated.

so we walked to the other end of the beach, our bare feet making temporary footprints across the barren sand.

we collected our shoes and socks (which phil forgot about before i reminded him) and then we went on the train, but we were too exhausted to talk. emotionally tired or physically tired, i don't know. but we sat on the train hand in hand, trying not to drift to sleep. unfortunately, i epically failed at that because soon i woke up to phil nudging me at our stop. after a five minute walk from the train station we arrived at my house. i knocked at my door, and waited for an answer. i heard footsteps, and soon adrian answered the door.

"dan, i'm proud of you. i was surprised you even went out of the house, but i had faith that you would. mum thought you were kidnapped, but obviously you're okay. oh, hi phil! we weren't expecting you." adrian said. oops. i kind of forgot to tell mum that phil was coming. i'm sure it was fine.

"hi adrian! can you ask your mum whether it's okay for me to have dinner with you? tell her it's fine if i can't, i wouldn't want to butt into your family dinner." phil said. ugh, what a gentlemen. how the fuck did he like me? if i was him i wouldn't like me. what was this sorcery???¿?¿¿¿

adrian nodded and ran back to the kitchen. he shouted back to us saying it was okay, and we went in.

the dinner went smoothly. as i predicted, phil made adrian laugh with his cheesy jokes and he was incredibly polite to my mum. i had told my mum while phil went to the bathroom that we were dating now, and i could tell that the only thing that went through her head was "ideal son-in-law". which was good i guess, if also somewhat embarrassing.

as soon as we started the dessert course, it started raining outside.

"you boys just missed the rain, didn't you?" my mum said, looking out the window.

"good luck, i guess." i replied, focusing on my apple pie.

"or maybe the universe meant it to be like that." phil said. i looked up at him.

"probably luck." adrian decided, interrupting our moment.

despite my mum's protests, phil soon started to get ready to go, hoodie pocket still bulging with shells. i had put my shells in my room the minute we came back in, but poor phil had to carry them all throughout dinner.

"i'll count them when we get home and we can see how many shells we collected together." phil promised.

"or we could have a competition to see who has the most shells." i proposed.

"i gave some of mine to you, so that's not fair." phil said. i clicked my tongue.

"excuses, excuses." i said, shaking my head.

"are you sure you don't want to stay here for the night?" my mum said, concerned.

"it's fine, ma'am. i need to go home and do some things i was supposed to do this afternoon, but i was held up." he said, looking at me.

"you invited me!" i protested.

"i know, i wasn't blaming you. but it's fine ma'am, i want to go home." phil said. mum sighed.

"at least make me give you a lift." she said.

"it's -"

"phil lester, it is raining outside. i do not want your mother calling me saying i let you to walk out in the rain, allowing you to catch a cold! i know your address, let me drive you there. dan, adrian, do you want to come?" my mum said. adrian shook his head.

"sure." i said.

"good, let's go. adrian, don't do anything or you're grounded." mum said. ah, what a legend.

the second we got in the car, holding hands in the backseat, my mum showered us with congratulations. she revealed she had been shipping us since grade three, which made me confused and worried, and she said that she always knew i liked phil.

"mum!" i said while phil laughed.

"what? it was as obvious as day. even before you told us you were gay, i knew that you thought phil as something either than platonic. and don't laugh too hard mr lester, i always knew you liked him too. i'm just amazed it took this long for you to get together to be honest." mum said.

"well, we're both oblivious and nerdy, so that might be why." phil said. mum chuckled.

"yas, that is true. that's very true." mum said. we then chatted about music and literature, and before we knew it we were at phil's place. it had somehow stopped raining on the drive, but i was still wet so mum told us to be careful.

"thank you for taking me ma'am." phil said honestly.

"that's okay phil. it's been nice seeing you again. you're welcome at our house at any time. i'll let you two say goodbye." mum said.

phil got out of the car, making sure he didn't drop any shells from his pocket.

"make sure to count those shells," i said while getting out of the car.

"i will." he said with a smile. god, those smiles still killed me. i kind of hoped that i would become immune to them after finding out he liked me, but i was also kind of grateful that i was still susceptible to the magic of phil's smile. still, it was irritating that i melted any time he felt moderately happy. it wasn't fair, it really wasn't fair.

"you wanna go to the movies tomorrow? i heard there's some good films in the cinema." i said.

"sure. my treat." he said.

"nope, you're not paying for it. i refuse to let you. you can pay for something else, but i will pay for the tickets." i said. he opened his mouth to argue, but closed it immediately after.

"we'll argue about this tomorrow. i'll go -" he started, but i interrupted.

"i'll be at your place. at eleven thirty sharp." i said. he raised his eyebrows.

"would you really?" he said.

"i will. you'll be sorry you ever doubted me." i replied.

"have you done mr folium's homework yet?" he asked.

"nope. i'll probably just google the answers." i said.

"you're going to regret doing that." he said.

"i know. but for now i'm just focusing on the present and not worrying about the future." i said.

"that's a good quote for our relationship, not so good for maths homework. but fine, you do you. i'll probably just google the answers as well." he said. i laughed.

"you're such a hypocrite." i said, shaking my head. he smirked.

"i know. it's one of the things you love about me, isn't it?" he said. i raised my eyebrows.

"your words, not mine." i said. we stood in silence, both unsure of what to say.

"i should probably get going." i said, breaking the silence.

"yeah, same." he agreed. and there it was, that perfect silence yet again.

"i really like you." i began, but not sure of what else to say.

"yeah, same." he said.

and then we kissed again. it sounds so casual, doesn't it? but it wasn't, it really wasn't. my heartbeat sped up and slowed down to match his, my palms started sweating with nerves and excitement, and my lips curled as it struggled to fathom what was happening. i wonder if every kiss with him would be like this. i wonder if i would ever stop loving him just as much. there's still so much i was unsure about, but for now i'll focus on the present and i'll let the future come when it comes. who knows how much - or how little - the world has in store for the two of us? let's face it, i'm just a seventeen year old boy really in love with another boy in my class who somehow liked me back. but couldn't be seventeen? that's all i wanted to be. and there was nowhere to go if didn't start the journey, and right now we were only just beginning.

today was a vanilla softserve sort of day, and i love vanilla softserves. signing off,

daniel howell

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ask-aphnorway · 5 years

Note

Do you have any tips about drawing (especially in the computer) that you don't mind sharing?

Oh I don’t mind at all! But i don’t really have like super secret tips to tell. I think any artist would say the same things. Maybe. (Warning: broken english)

1. Don’t start with a super fancy expensive tablet (if you don’t have one yet). You should first find out if digital art is something for you. And then maybe invest in a cooler one (like one with a screen), when you think you are now ready for one and now know you will use it a lot. Oh and don’t think that when you get a cintiq (for example) you will automatically start drawing like a pro.

2. Know the program you are drawing with. This is very very important! I’m kinda super lazy and I thought I would find out by myself how everything in the program works. It’s not good. Learn how the program works and what you can do with it. I didn’t know for a long time what clipping and preserve opacity is etc. It just made my life way easier after I found out.

3. Practice. Practice a lot. You can only get better if you practice. I am super lazy and if I practiced more throughout the years I would draw much better now. Don’t be like me xD

4. Use refrences. Sometimes you don’t know how to draw this damn hand. So look online if you can find a reference. It’s ok to use references and I think it helps a lot. And maybe someday you don’t need a reference for this damn hand anymore (or rarely).

5. Make drawing to something fun and relaxing. Don’t force yourself to draw and don’t think you need to get better as fast as possible. Skill comes over time, sometimes over a lot of time. I mean, sometimes drawing can a bit stressful and frustrating, but you can make it a bit less stressful and frustrating. Remember it’s just a hobby.

6. Never give up. I believe that everyone can learn how to draw, but it’s a never ending learning process. You are never finished, but can be further than some other people. I also think that some people naturally can easier get better than others. If you are not one of them, it’s still not a reason to give up.

7. This is for people that like to draw anime: Try out realism and also study a bit of anatomy. You can then transfer your realism and anatomy knowledge on your anime drawings.

8. Try out new things (if your interested). I mostly draw kawaii anime girls but I’m also willing to try new stuff. I’m interested in drawing landscapes, so I bought a canvas and acryls etc. I mean it’s nothing you need to do, but you can also transfer this knowledge on anime drawings for example. And for me it’s fun to expand my artistic horizon.

9. Sometimes you happen to sit a long time while drawing. Get up sometimes, take a walk etc. And most important:sit in a proper position or else you will get very bad back pain (I’m talking out of experience Dx).

10. Oh and always draw new poses etc. Can also help to improve a bit. Trying out new brushes could be cool too.

11. Almost forgot this, but dont pressure yourself in developing your artstyle. Neveeer worry about this. It comes after time.

12. OH AND ALWAYS FLIP THE CANVAS.

I think that was everything I can think of for now. I don’t know if it’s helpful. Tell me please XD Thank you for reading!

#art tips from Ina xD #ooc

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flurgles-blog · 5 years

Text

Intro to me.

This will deal with heavy topics, like rape, imprisonment, and child abuse. I'm sorry, it's just what my life has been and I'm not staying silent anymore.

I'm a 25 year old female. At the age of 23, I fled my family's home after an altercation with my brother where he threatened me with an assault rifle after my mothers dog pooped on the rug in his room. I'm not allowed in his room, yet was meant to know it happened and clean it up evidently. I tried to call 911, but my mother took my phone and told them no one should be sent. They sent no one despite hearing her beat me and me screaming for help in the background. I called a man I had gone on a few dates with on okcupid, and he picked me up and I never lived there again. This man kept me a prisoner just like my parents did. I left him years later once I was able to sneak word out for help to an old friend. I'm still not free today, but I'm surviving and get to choose when I want to have sex. I'm homeless now, and dont get to talk to people due to the nature of how I'm living so I'm posting here. Now, let's backtrack to the first two decades or so of my life so you know why I left, and why I was never able to leave before.

I was born to a family in poverty, my parents lived with my grandmother and already had a child. Both were birth control failures. I lived the first few years with my mother, biological father, and my brother. My father was incredibly violent. Loved his guns, his drugs, his alcahol, and taking in illegal or exotic pets when his buddies had to go to prison. He beat his children, and his wife, often trying to kill us. My only friend was my grandmother and a Burmese python named Monty. He would often protect me. My father would often abuse the animals to hurt us, but Monty would never take it. I miss that snake. After many years of this, my father begged to be put in prison to control his violent outbursts and after lots of arguing, my mother finally brought him to a mental hospital.

There was a period where my brother and I were shifted between homes of family, I liked this period. I was starting school, and had lots of resources to learn and play. I was often mute, didnt talk for years or make a noise despite knowing how to talk. My mother was dating but I never met the man or his kids until suddenly we were moving in with him and his three kids.

His family was wealthier, and his kids mostly treated me like gutter trash. His side if the family often didnt invite my moms kids to things. He made me read this book on etiquette. It was straight up Victorian. I had to go to the doctor to look at my twisted leg since I was having trouble walking 'right'. The doctor told my parents how to slowly correct the muscle through physical therapy. The first physical therapy session I remember, I was four. He made me lay on his bed naked and he just... rubbed oil on me. I wont go into detail, but he raped me several nights a week until I was 12. It got worse, he started to do it in front of the family. The whole family groomed me, kept me isolated while I still went to school. I was brainwashed into thinking these sessions were my fault for walking wrong, and they were totally right. I was not allowed to communicate without supervision. I could only see two approved of friends. If I stepped out of line, I was beaten, and the house phone and internet would be stripped from me or from the house altogether. The children even helped condition and punish me. Two of the boys abused me sexually, the other physically. He would completely cover me in duct tape and attach me to a wall or door and call that babysitting. I was hung by my ankles from a tree with plastic rope in the front yard for crying. It was insane, but it was my normal.

I was expected to clean the house, and cook many meals. I cleaned up after three, sometimes four cats and two dogs. I cleaned three fish tanks. I did everything but mow the lawn, as I wasnt meant to be seen outside. Every little girl wants to be treated like a princess, it was ironic my favorite was Cinderella.

When I was 12, I started talking to more kids at school. Instead of walking home as I was meant to, I went on a hike through a meadow with a boy from my classes. He was nice, and didnt mind that I was quiet and shy. He waited for me to open up and I did. I confessed what had been happening at home, that I was stressed out about it. The constant uncertainty of my safety... he went home and told his parents, who told the police.

Social workers came to my house. They were horrified, and supportive, but after talking to me they just left me with my family with orders for my parents to bring me to their office. I was punished the worst for the days following, and my mother really went deep into brainwashing me then. She told me that if my step father was arrested, her, all five children, all the animals I love so much, would be homeless and be killed by gangs. I made a sacrifice for my family and my animals. I had to go into that office and call the whole thing off.

My mother made me say I had lied, and the social workers insulted and belittled me for hours... I thought it was over, that i could go home, and keep my head low during the punishments to come. The punishments were intense, but going back to school was worse.

The boy that had been so supportive had told the whole school I was a liar, and that I was a slut. He said I did all these sexual things with him and falsely accused my dad with rape. I was already bullied, but it got worse. I was groped and my clothes taken off in the hallways, and the faculty had little compassion for me since I also had to keep up the illusion with them. They thought I cried wolf too.

After that, I was able to get my stepfather to stop the sessions. He still got drunk and made me dress up and pose for pornography, though. There was so many photos and videos found of me by family and classmates that were shoved in my face. They were slut shaming a child sex slave. I continued being the family maid, and punching bag, and scapegoat. I got a job at 14 and my mom took all the money, then again at 19, then continued to steal from me until the biggest theft she had done. She stole my identity, filled out student loans, made me go to a few classes at different colleges, but pocketed the money every time. I still dont have my identity back, and can only have an expired Id because she has the info to my dmv account and every account and it's been almost a year since I reported the fraud. It's still 'pending'.

I suffer from so many problems from decades of abuse and beatings and starvation, and almost no access to healthcare. I applied for disability years ago and am waiting for my third time through the system. I have been diagnosed with ptsd, major depression, disabling anxiety... I live with my boyfriend, who came and broke me out of that house with the guy from okcupid. It was terrible, the man tried to strangle me to keep me from leaving. My boyfriend is supportive as can be, but lacks sensitivity and says men have needs. I'm stuck in this semi truck with him since hes a truck driver, and live without medical care or friends or cleanliness and without a home, moving states every day. I wonder if I will ever have a home, or feel safe, or feel worth something. I just want to be stable.

I receive some very expensive 30 minute therapy sessions a few times a year, and take zoloft. Shelters wont accept people with ptsd, and an actual police officer told me I would be 'rape bait' if i went to one.

I would love to make some friends that know what I've come from. I want to know if telling my extended family is ok. I just want to know I'm not crazy and all of this really is terrible and worth having PTSD about. If it's worth not being able to work...

Thank you for reading this. Thank you so much for listening and being a witness to what I wish more people knew.

Edit: Some people mentioned were children when they did bad things. It totally wasnt their fault. I dont blame them at all.

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jgfiles · 5 years

Note

Hello i've read all your theory about D agency personalities. It's really help me to know more about them. Um.. if you dont mind, can you tell me something about Gamou & Sakuma personality? i'm curious to know. Thank you

I’m glad I was of some use!

Hum... those two are the hardest actually because they change a lot according to the media they’re in. D no Maou and the stage for example changed quite a bit Sakuma’s personality, while the anime changed Gamo’s personality making it rather different from the original novel.

As everyone seems to be into the Joker Game anime, I’ll assume you’re asking about Sakuma and Gamo from the anime and I’ll use the other media only when they don’t contrast with the anime canon.

So Sakuma.

Sakuma is very much a representative of a man of his time, or better of how a man of his time was expected to be, with all the good points he was meant to have. He’s serious, honest, hardworking, fair, loyal, capable of self reflection,observant and attentive.

In the novel we learn he was one of the best at the army academy and, always in the novel, Odagiri will comment on how the D Agency spies physical training was something he believed one needs Army training to pass (he was suprised when the other spies, clearly not from the Army, would pass it).

If we compare what the novel says about Sakuma’s ability at the academy:

“Sakuma, who had a fair amount of confidence in his observation andmemorizing skills, had graduated from the Academy with flying colours, and wasconsidered to be an “elite”; yet, he could only describe the abilities of theexaminees as “unusual”.“ [“Joker Game: Chap 1 Joker Game]

and what it says about Odagiri/Tobisaki:

“At the Military PreparatorySchool and Imperial Japanese Army Academy, he was almost always getting the topresults. This wasn’t to impress anyone else, it was his natural abilities andpride that had made it happen.” [Joker Game: Chap 5 XX]

we can speculate the two are more or less even in regard to ‘soldier abilities’.

What Odagiri seems to best Sakuma is his ability at memorizing meaningless details.

Note that Sakuma too is attentive to details, he’ll figure Muto was hungover or how Gordon’s reaction isn’t the standard one but his attention focus on only certain details, details that seem relevant to him.

You might say he has a more selective memory than the D boys who remember and observe EVERYTHING.

Back to Sakuma he is probably meant to have all the virtues a man of his time was meant to have, only if you turn them around they can very well become flaws. Because he’s fair and honest, his first approach to the Joker Game is to expect the boys would be fair and honest as well.

Although the boys are civilians they’re now working for the Army so he expect they would keep a behaviour that would be commendable for a soldier.

So it’s not exactly he’s naive, it’s just he didn’t consider them cheating because to him it’s ‘unnatural’.

He didn’t immediately think Gordon might have hidden the cyphers behind the emperor’s portrait not because he’s lazy or not attentive or anything but because there’s such a strong taboo in touching it (people committed suicide for doing it) he didn’t even consider the idea because to him it would be ‘unnatural’.

In fact for most time he will see the D boys as ‘not human’ because they do things that to him are ‘unnatural’, therefore he can’t understand them and he’s sort of weirded out when not outright disgusted by their behaviour.

He needs to be explained it, and only then he can work it out.

You can see he managed to understand Tazaki’s explanation in the end and even use it to figure out something about Tazaki.

What I always found very interesting though, was that Sakuma was sent them to report the D boys misbehaviours and they, especially in the novel, misbehaved quite seriously and yet he won’t tattle them out to Muto.

Yuuki asked him if he was a spy but Sakuma denied and we can see in the end he hadn’t spied them.

It’s hinted Sakuma had friends before coming to D Agency, which points at how he was actually a social guy, although in D Agency he can’t socialize well with the boys. Side material though shows him not shy to praise the boys when they do well.

Considering Sakuma was an army academy student and this sort of studies was expensive it’s possible his family is either well off or upper class.

It’s speculated the baby is Sakuma which would make his father a member of the Army as well.

Ultimately, when Sakuma finally manages to connect the dots and understand why the D boys were the way they were, he overcomes his problems at accepting their words and is disappointed in himself for not figuring it out sooner.

Sakuma is very self aware. Although a side of him is flattered Yuuki asked him to join D Agency, he chooses not to because he realizes he himself is a soldier and will remain as such... although his beliefs has shifted a bit in fact he claims he refuses to let people use any longer (which wasn’t a thought a soldier should have).

In the drama cd we see that when Sakuma has the role of the teacher and therefore he’s in a mindset that’s less against the D boys behaviour, he’s very supportive of them, considering their duty to stand at their side even when he believed there could be a bomb in the place.

He still remains a guy scolding prone though ^_-

Now Gamo.

In the novel version Gamo was one of the D Agency students but the anime turned him into a Wind Agency students.

What we can infer from this? He’s likely another soldier, like Sakuma and Odagiri, only he’s probably one who also had attended to the War College (Sakuma and Odagiri stopped at Army Academy) because Kazato was affronted Yuuki would refuse people from the War college and likely, in retaliation, he made his pick among members of the war college.

As a consequences Gamo is likely older than all the D boys and possibly than Sakuma and might outrank him (although in the past I speculated the Wind Agency boys were also second lieutenants this is unlikely as people needed to be first lieutenants or captains to attend to the war college).

Wind Agency copied its training method from D Agency, so Gamo too is very capable, but not its phylosophy and, as a consequence, its members are probably less open minded than D Agency members.

They prefer to kill to solve problems. It’s also meaningful how in the novel D Agency Gamo didn’t ask for the key to Graham’s safe as he knew how to open it on his own, while anime Wind Agency Gamo wanted it.

You can speculate this means Wind Agency members are either less well versed at opening safes or just more reluctant at doing it.

The previews gives me the feeling Gamo is one who has a view of the world that’s very ‘fight like’.

With Jitsui he remarks his view of chess is of a violent sport...

with Odagiri that chess isn’t about winning or losing but about living or dying.

In this I’ll say he betrays his nature as a soldier who sees everything as a war in which he’ll either kill the other part or die trying.

Although Gamo graduated in Wind Agency while working on the Graham’s case he is shown often near Kazato so maybe he either trusted him in a special way or has taken a liking to him (though more likely the truth is the other poor Wind Agency guys were just stand in).

Gamo can clearly look friendly, humble, he’s attentive but he probably is similar to Sakuma as he overlooks some relevant details. He can be cold and ruthless but, I think, he views himself as a patriot not as a bad guy.

It might be not really relevant but the draws of his chibi version seem to point out he can be pretty cheerful (though we also saw as he could be stone cold) and how he too, like everyone in this story really, is a smoker.

From the picture in which he place away the books I’ll say he’s a guy who’s ordered and precise. However from the way in the story in which he murders in cold blood Cho, stabbing him in the back I’ll say he’s not a honest boy like Sakuma, but won’t hesitate in using dirty tricks Sakuma would find dishonourable.

He seems to be good at analyzing people through chess but he can let himself be fooled by Morishima/Jitsui deceptively harmless appearance.

I hope it helps! Thanks for your ask!

#Joker Game #Sakuma #Gamo Jiro #Ask

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mundvngus · 5 years

Photo

“i pour alcohol into the gaping hole inside my chest. it does not heal. not today. maybe tomorrow.”

MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER is 26 years old and works as a THIEF/DRUG DEALER/ALL ROUND CRIMINAL and is loyal to THE OOTP they were an RAVENCLAW and are a HALFBLOODED. HE look like FRANK DILLANE.

CHARACTER PARALLELS: nick miller ( new girl ), creed bratton ( the office ), doug judy ( b99 ), jason mendoza ( the good place ), chris miles ( skins ), jesper fahey ( six of crows ), scott lang ( marvel ), lillian ( unbreakable kimmy schmidt ). AESTHETIC: scuffed knees, flicking a lighter over and over again, flowery shirts, walking in the middle of the street after midnight, a body covered in bruises and tattoos, naming stray cats, falling asleep on the subway, watching smoke curl against a starless, black nightsky, throwing empty beer bottles against a wall. LINKS: stats. pinboard. character tag. HEADS UP: there’s quite a bit of talk about drugs and stuff in here -- as well as shitty parenting. i trigger warned it before every bullet point tho!

history

ciannán o’donnell was a flighty man, one of many relationships and flings and little loyalty, and so his affair with kiyana fletcher did not last long. when she told him he was pregnant, he moved on to a different woman, and kiyana had her son alone, with her sister on her side. dung was born to a lonely and angry woman, who had fallen for the charms and winks of a crooked criminal who spoke empty promises and lied for a living.

he grew up with his mum – a halfblooded witch and by far his favourite person in the world – in cork, attending muggle school there. he knew who his dad was, but wasn’t quite sure how to feel about —- EVERYONE knew who his dad was, a well known muggle criminal and dealer, a name notorious among the older kids at his school, a father to many. he’s like the robert baratheon of ireland, to be honest, planting bastards on every corner. lol. knowing he was one of his many kids was hard; he’d never met any of them, but he knew they were there, from his mother, from his aunt.

he met his dad for the first time at age seven, and was nothing but impressed. his dad showered him with gifts, his mum watching with a furious look on her face but biting her tongue. that moment was a switch for dung; he felt the need to impress his dad. he stole some sweets from a store on his way home from school a week later, fished some pennies out of the pockets of his classmates a few months later. when he phoned his dad to tell him, his laugh was warm and filled with life.

his relationship with his dad got better as his behaviour got worse. the thrill of stealing, of doing stuff he wasn’t supposed to, lit him not only on fire because ti was exciting, but also because he knew his dad would adore it. his mother’s worried questions and look only drove him to his dad, who liked it when he did bad things, who didn’t try and ground him ( looking back, he knows that that was stupid, but back then he was blindsided, obsessed with the mystery that was his dad ).

abuse tw // his father was abusive. period. he’s a wicked man, who has blood on his hands of people who were in his way, and he doesn’t love anything but winning and money and the high of victory. he manipulated mundungus, pushed him towards bad behaviours, showed him his bad sides when he was disappointed. most of the abuse was mental and verbal, but sometimes it turned physical as well. it’s toxic. mundungus hasn’t allowed himself to admit that to himself yet, though. end of tw //

drugs, smoking, alcohol tw // attending hogwarts was good, at first. it forced him to focus on other stuff, for a while, but his summers and winter breaks forced him back into his old behaviours. his world was split; at hogwarts, he was a loud and lively, but still a pretty good student, while at home he fell deeper and deeper in crossing lines and boundaries. he lit his first cigarette at age ten, drank his first beer at age twelve, smoked his first spliff when he turned fourteen, as a present from his dad. end of tws //

hogwarts also meant friends --- the dick squad was founded here, consisting out of dorcas, doc, daisy and dung himself. these three people meant everything to mundungus, to be honest, let him see the ways people could love each other without conditions or out of obligation. they were chaotic and messy and wrecked havoc on the castle but --- damn it, they’re his family, and he’d die for them.

drugs tw // it was in his later years that these two worlds started overlapping. his dad trusted him with a bit of produce, gave him some weed to sell at hogwarts after his christmas break in his fifth year, and it was a success. ever since, dung became pretty well known for selling a little bit of this and that. a lively spirit, he always did so with a bit of a grin, but he was also pretty fond of the stuff he sold, indulging quite a lot when business was a little slow.

he also stole a lot from rich purebloods, because fuck them

i guess ... this is where the messiness really did ... explode? mundungus liked the taste of drugs. he liked the taste of doing illegal things. he liked the taste of earning money and feeling powerful and he loved it all. he grew more dependent on alcohol and drugs. he wanted to flee, too. the world was a nasty fucking place and he knew that all too well and, fucking hell, don’t blame him for wanting to escape every now and then. end of tw //

he graduated at one point which? is a miracle? i think they just wanted to get rid of him tbh!!! but yeah, dung did Try a little at hogwarts, as he respects the hell out of dumbledore and stuff, but he was still not a good student. after graduation, he kind of joined up with his dad and started doing some illegal stuff in the wizarding world too, because why the hell not? he was good at it.

dung had no plans to join either side of the war, tbh, even though he’ss v much against the de’s cause. he’s a self serving kid!! but then he kind of got in a nasty situation where both alastor and dumbledore got him out of trouble ( that might have sent him to fucking azkaban, what a fucking idiot ) and well, dung might be a shithead, but he felt indebted to them and kind of rolled into the order.

and well --- the order was a newfound family. messy, of course, and full of chaos and distrust, but --- heck, mundungus found a lot of people there that he did end up feeling loyal to. and while that was scary, as mundungus prefers being a lone wolf ( or raccoon ), it was a kind of wonderful, too?

and -- get this -- he was an asset. his ties to the criminal world, with his ability to steal and sneak around like less than a shadow. he was useful, and mundungus fletcher had never been useful in his life before. what a weird feeling that was --- oh boy, but it was good, too. mundungus likes it. he could build on that and improve greatly and he has fucking potential to become a better person. he really wants to, too, because he feels incredibly indebted to alastor and dumbledore akjfsdf.

dont hold your breath, tho, he’s probably not going to improve a lot

mundungus doesn’t technically have a home. his mother’s place is his home, i guess, but he’s not there a lot. he crashes on couches, breaks into muggle homes of people who are on vacation ( always leaving it the way it was, but with a bit of a smell ) or in a squatter’s home, which he thinks is an iconic scene.

drugs tw // besides his work for the order, mundungus does a bit of this and that. he still works for his dad a little, dealing some drugs for him, but he’s mostly focused on making his way through the wizarding world’s underground and making a name for himself there. he sees no reason to try and find another career, finds the things he does now thrilling and exciting and honestly, he doesn’t have much of a way out.

abuse tw // his dad has a hold on him. sure, he can drop his criminal activities in the wizarding world, but when it comes to his dad's business, he’s stuck. his father isn’t going to allow him to walk away – that much should be obvious. he knows too much. and then there’s mundungus’ wish to always please his father, and his father’s endless dissatisfaction. it’s messy and bad and toxic and we all hate mundungus’ dad. end of tws //

addiction tw // what it all boils down to is that mundungus is chaotic. he never stays in one place too long, doesn’t have a consistent job, strays away from commitment and stability. he’s addicted, to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and adrenaline. he’s self serving, in the end. he’s seeking for validation, deep down, and endlessly scared of all that’s happening around him. he’s alone, dreadfully so, but that’s the way he prefers it. end of tw //

personality & tidbits

mundungus is a lowkey tortured artist. he writes awful poetry and draws a lot and he loves painting if he has time. he’s in love with the beat generation, mostly. he’s very private about this kind of stuff, though. it's his thing, and his alone. some of his tattoos he’s designed himself tho!! and we love and stan!!

his stance in the war is something that’s … pretty unknown, i imagine. mundungus benefits from appearing neutral, has connections in both the pureblood and muggle world. he likes to come across as that shady dude who will do whatever you ask of him for the right price.

can usually be spotted wearing The Coat, a rly expensive, vintage long coat that he once stole of a pureblood. he’s enlarged the pockets with some handy spellwork and pretty much carries everything he owes in there, like his produce and his money and his second pair of shoes and his art supplies and probably some random trash.

is a bit smelly, so give him a shower

most likely to show up at your doorstep at 5am with some flowers and a shit eating grin, saying “can i sleep on yer couch?”

mundungus LOVES animals but doesn’t have any because of his lack of a home. his mother has a dog, though, and he loves that dog. he also feels v connected to stray dogs and cats and can be found petting and feeding them a lot.

hates himself deeply, doesn’t think he’s worth anyone’s time (despite constantly demanding it), has a low opinion of himself. he doesn’t get it if people care about him, to be honest? the only person he can properly accept it of is his mother, but even that’s complicated.

plots!

CUSTOMERS // a simple, easy connection! basically someone who buys drugs (also does like medicinal stuff? but also drugs-drugs) of mundungus or has paid him (good money) to nick something for them. he’s pretty down to do most things as long as it’s for the right price!

PARTY FRIENDS // dung likes getting wasted / high / fucked up and having a good ol’ time with people. sure, he’s done it alone, but he prefers doing it with others. there’s a lot of room for diff options here?

YOU SAVED ME ONCE // ( alcohol tw ) a plot where someone got dung to a hospital when he got alcohol poisoning and basically saved his life?? meaning?? mundungus feels indebted and he hates that but!! he’s gonna pay your char back! he promises!

UNDER PRESSURE // i imagine that dung has some ties to de’s as well bc of his less than legal work so? maybe some death eater could try and put some pressure on him? get him to do some dirty job bc it’d not matter if he died … etc etc

UNDER PRESSURE 2.0 // on the other hand, i bet some order members are like 👀 at dung? this one’d be for order members who’re like … making sure that dung is still loyal and here?? making him feel a bit?? queasy??

ONE NIGHT STANDS // dung isnt rly good at romance but he’s good at no strings attached sex. this’d work in a lot of ways and w a lot of characters so imma keep this p open! dung is bi btw!!

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY // your average angsty exes plot? mundungus is flighty, and while he does feel feelings for people, he’s not … good with commitment. this’d be a relationship that he broke off bc he got scared or ?? something else??

COUCHES // i need some couches that mundungus can crash on adkjfhsdf he needs a place ... to sleep. he will pay you back with drugs or ... stolen goods? money? something that he didnt acquire lawfully

#maraudrs:intro

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lotus-0398 · 5 years

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A/N:Hello! Im back with a new one. Ive been busy but hope you huys like it!

You can ask me anything and request anything if you like! ✨

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You and Jin met in middle school. You were two years younger then him. He was your senpai in a way. He was alone and you sat by his side to make him company and thats where all started. You two love food, animals, coffee and other stuff. You two began to hang out and even though he graduated and moved to another school for high school. You two would still be in contact. You guys would hang out in arcades, at the pool, having picnic or just a sleep over in his house or yours. You guys were having the best days.

One day he came to you and told you he was a trainee at Big Hit. You were so excited and hugged him. You fully knew that was his dream and you were gonna be there to support him. Also you were beginning to have feelings for him. You dont want to be away from him, you want him to know that youll be there for him, that you care for him, you loved him and that he was everything to you. You didnt dare to tell him yet.

Months have passed, days, hours and you were close to all the members. You brought them food almost every day made by you so they will eat well. Also they debuted and they were being successful. You were happy to see Jins dream coming true, for you studying was hard but it was all worth it to have a future. Thank God you took clases online because you couldnt stand being in a room full of people and having to dress all days just to go to college was something you didnt want. But you could dress up all days for Jin. Yes you love him and still you havent confessed to him. You began to be very shy around him again and talking more to the others. Jin noticed this and one day he took you out of the practice room and placed you to the wall.

“Jin.. wh-whats wrong?”you stuttered. And looked down.

He looked at you and sighed” Why dont you talk to me so much? We used to talk a lot non stop.. did i did something wrong?” He said sad and you grabbed his hand

“No.. you havent done anything bad.. i just...”you kept silent. Thinking if you should tell him.

“Y/N... whats wrong? Is something bothering you?..i would do anything for you to be confortable you know?.. and i have something to tell you.. im gonna explode if i dont tell you.. i.”he bit his lips and looked at you in the eyes” i like you.. like a lot..and i cant stand you talking more with the others than me.. i know we dont like go together because now im a singer.. and having this life is difficult.. plus having someone its even more harder..i..”he kept silent. You looked at him.. you began to tear up and hugged him

“We can work this out.. i like you too.. Jinnie.. i.. ive fallen for you.. but i didnt know how yo say it to you. “You said all shy and he smiled widely.

“So.. you are telling me that.. like a year ago i could have tell you how i felt and we would be Girlfriend and boyfriend by now?”he got closer to you. You blushed immediately and nodded. He chuckled and placed a finger on your chin to make you look at him. He slowly got closer to you and your lips met. It was a sweet and tender kiss. It was better than you expected, he hugged you by the waist still kissing you gently and softly. After a few 5 minutes you two parted and immediately you hide your face in his chest. He laughed at your action and placed a kiss on your head.

“I have to go back sweetie.. ill text you or call you later okay? I love you..”he smiled and walked away waving at you. You only looked at him blushing and waving back at him.

Day by day your relationship was great, amazing, he was lovely, caring, made food for you and had the best dates. But there were times when you two fought because of his work. You knew it would be difficult but its more difficult when you see him on TV flirting with other women because thats his charm. You miss him so much, everyday. And the calls and text are less and less each day since they got even more famous. Going to USA, Japan, Europe and winning the billboard for the first time. You began to feel lonely in your home, you just wanted him to be there by your side. But even though distance is hard between a couple you knew he would never hurt you or chest on you. Besides his members wouldnt let him in any way.

4 years have passed already, four years of relationship, of good and bad moments. But you werent feeling good one day. You felt sick, your hair was falling constantly. You didnt know what was going on but you thought it was something you ate. So you didnt bother to go to a hospital. You told Jin and he immediately got home.

“Babe are you okay?? How do you feel?”he says softly.

“Im better.. but i still very sick..”you said softly..”can we cuddle? Ive missed you a lot... i feel lonely..”you said with tears and he hugged you.

“Im sorry... i know.. but bare with me babe.. im here.. imma do all i can to be here more often or bring you with me..”he says and you smiled softly.

You two cuddle until you fell asleep in his arms. He just admired you and brushed your hair when he noticed he had brought a lot of your hair in his hand. He was in shock. You were losing hair, this wasnt normal. Usually you dont lose that many hair when brushing it. He began to worry even more. He sighed and kissed your cheeks. “I love you..”he said softly..

“I love you too...”you said in your sleep and he giggled.

Three months have passed and you felt even more sick than ever. But you didnt tell anything to Jin. You just pretended to be okay for him. Today you were gonna have a date with him. He sent you a box with all you should wear today. You were very excited so you prepared yourself for today, doing makeup, hair and everything. Jin knocked on the door and you went to open it up and there he was with a bouquet of sunflowers and chocolate. He looked so good in that pink button up shirt and black pants.

“Hello beautiful. How are you today? You look stunning..”he smirked and gave you the flowers.

You giggled and smiled”Thank you handsome. You look amazing, that color suits you..”you gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Mm thanks. Shall we go princess?”he smiled and you nodded.

Both of you went out of the house. It was a very romantic and planned date, he was like a prince and taking good care of you. You loved him and that wasnt a doubt. You two had so much fun talking about everything, eating, drinking and suddenly the other members, your family and his got there. You frowned and looked at him quickly. He was on his knees and you gasped placing your hands on your mouth to hide it. You didnt expect this, you teared up and he began saying:

“Y/N.. we met in middle school in the cafeteria. You sat by my side and talked to me. You were my first friend and only one since then. We fell in love and began our love story 4 years ago. I cant imagine living without you. I promis to take care of you, to make you happy and be there for you always.. i knew from that start that i wanted to be with you forever. That you are the perfect one for me even thought we dont always match or get along in something’s. I love you and.. Y/N would you marry me?”he said wit the biggest smile. You looked at everyone around with tears in your eyes, you looked at him again and nodded non stop. He stood up placed the ring on your finger and hugged you. “I love you princess..” he said and you started crying even harder.

“Also babe.. i want to plan our wedding for the next month. I want to be your husband immediately. “He smiled and you laughed.

“Hahaha really? I mean if you want me that badly why not do it in two weeks?” You said joking

“Thats not bad! Lets do it! I already have things that i want. Lets discuss it later okay?” He said.

You blinked a few times and smiled.”okay..”

He kissed you again softly and you responded. After the dinner and date, he took you home and he made love to you.

Two weeks have passed and today was the day were you and Jin were getting married, everything was planned, it was gonna look beautiful and it was a simple wedding. The most expensive of it all would be the honeymoon and both of your dresses and his. Your friends were helping you get ready. One did your makeup, the other your hair, other helped you put on the dress. You looked perfect, like a princess thats gonna get married to her prince charming. You smiled widely looking at yourself in the mirror.. You still felt very sick but you did all you could to be fine today in your wedding. The girls told you to go since it was time and off you go.

Everything went perfectly and now you were at the reception to dance, eat and have a good time. You were in your second dress, more light and easy to walk. You were looking at Jin dancing with his band mates. You smiled widely but suddenly you felt dizzy, sick, headache, and you passed out.

Jin noticed quickly and went to you. Trying to wake you up but nothing helped. He quickly carried you and went off to the hospital.

*FlashBack to one week ago*

You went to the doctor to get a check up. Because you were still very sick and your hair lose was worrying you too. So you went, waited to be checked. When you went inside and they checked you, gave you a paper to do all the exams and test. You went that same day.. and in a matter of 30 minutes your resulta were available. You went to the doctor again and he gave you the news that you had Cancer. You looked at the doctor in shock at first, but you slowly came to realize what he just said. Tears started to fall, silence among the office and you cried hard. But the worst thing is that the cancer is very advanced and its taking over your body. You cried even more. You stood up and went out, you paid and got to your car. You cried non stop on the way home and you didnt tell anything to Jin. You want him to be happy, you would do anything in your hands for him..

*End of the Flashback*

When he arrived at the hospital, they immediately took you. They did blood test and everything. After a few hours they came to him and said the news that you had terminal cancer. He kneeled down and cried hysterically. His band mates came in that exact moment and hugged him.

“Jin Hyung.. whats wrong?”said JK

“Tell us.. we are here for you..” said RM..

“Y/N...Y/N has terminal cancer “ he cried out loud and they all looked at each other.

“You need to be strong for her Jin hyung..she needs you now more than ever..”Suga said and brushed his hair.

“Suga is right Hyung” said Taehyung.”Its gonna be tough.. but we are with you too Hyung..”he said softly.

Jin stopped crying loud and tried to calm down. He nodded and hugged them.”Thank you guys.. thank you..” he sat down and sighed hiding his face crying again in silence. He felt useless as if he didnt do anything for you. He wasnt home often, the fights, he remembered them all. “i need to do something for her.. i feel like an idiot..i need to show her how much i love her!..”he said softly to his band mates. They all looked at one another and RM smiled.

“I know what you can do.. write your feelings.. what you want to let her know..”RM said softly

“Yeah! Thats a great idea..”said suga”I can help you with the beat.”

Jin looked at them and thought about it” i think is the best way to express my feelings for her.. i love my wife.. i love her.. i.. cant live without her..”he says softly”She is everything to me.. she has been in all stages of my life.. “

Suddenly the doctors came and spoke to Jin. They told him everything and let him go see you. He quickly went and opened the door to see you with the oxygen tubes on your nose, your hair still on fleak, he approached to you and kissed your forehead. “Jagi im here.. i love you..”he said..

You opened your eyes and looked at him smiling softly”Hey honey.. i love you..more.. im sorry i didnt say anything to you..”you teared up and he hugged you.

“Shh.. its okay.. its okay.. im gonna make you more happy.. im gonna do everything for you.. we will go through this until the end.. i love you so much “he kissed you softly and you kissed back with tears. You really love this man very much. He is everything to you.

After two weeks you were released from the hospital. You guys went to have a dinner, then to the park and went home.

“Honey... i want to watch a movie and cuddle up with you...”you said with a low voice.

“What do you want to watch? Something romantic or something funny?”he smiled at you.

“Hmm... lets watch comedy. I want to hear your laughter. “You said with a smile and his heart broke. Why? Because he forgot how to laugh ever since he found out about your cancer. He wasnt himself and he would only pleased you. He looked at you and nodded

“Okay Jagi! Go to bed and ill be right there with the movie alright?”he went to look up a movie and you went to the bedroom. After a few minutes he went up and saw you on the bed all dressed up in a sexy silk short bed dress. He smiled widely. “Wow.. baby... you look amazing!”he hugged you tight and kissed your forehead.”so sexy.. you know how much that dress drives me crazy..”he smirk and you blushed.

“Haha.. it wasnt my intention..or maybe it was” you winked and he laughed hard. You smiled and hugged him. You loved and missed his laughter.. “i like it when you laugh... i know that you are trying to make everything for me.. to make me more happy.. to be with me and pleased me... but lets be happy together.. lets be pleased together.. yeah? It makes me happy seeing you laugh.. lets go normal again? Yeah? Lets just live the moment. Can you do that for me?”you grabbed his face and looked at him with teary eyes and he looked at you with teary eyes too. Jin just nodded and kissed you softly. But that kissed became a needy one and hungry. That ended up in bed making love to one another.

The next morning he had to work so he left you a letter, he made you breakfast and did everything before work. When he got to the company the guys were waiting for him.

“Jin hyung!”said suga very cutely for some reason.

“Oh.. hey Suga.. whats up?”he said relaxed.

“I fixed a bit the song you composed and its great. I cried so much just so you know”he smiled with his gummy smile.

“Really?? Wow.. thank you!”said Jin happy.

“Now you need to go to RM”suga said and Jin did as he said. He knocked on the door of his studio.

“Namjoon? Are you here? Its me..” said Jin

“Jin Hyung! Come on in.. Jhope just picked the beat and now we need to record” Rm looked at him.”You okay?”

“Yeah im okay. And thank you for helping me.”he smiled .

“Anything for you and your wife Hyung”Rm smiled”Now lets work”he giggled and Jin nodded.

They began the recording process, they record plenty more to make sure he was doing it right. Then the hearing if its okay, fixing mistakes, etc. After 9hr working and doing everything they finished it and it was done and good to go. He smiled and went home. When he arrived you were in the bathroom vomiting blood. You didnt felt good. Your cancer was killing you, it was advancing.

“Jagi? Are you here love?”he said softly. You didnt respond. “Baby? “He ran quickly to your bedroom, you werent there, he went to the bathroom and there you were sitting, looking all weak and pale. He bit his lips trying not to cry and sat down by your side rubbing your back.”You okay? Need to go to the hospital?”he said softly and you said no with your head. He picked you up and hugged you. He walked to the bedroom and laid you there softly, then he cuddle you up to his chest.”Jagi... i want you to hear me.. can you?”he saids with a smile and kissed your forehead. You just nodded weakly.

He began to sing softly.

‘We're too different

You know that well

We aren't able to embrace

Each other's realities

"I don't understand"

"I don't remember"

Words that will always just be words

I don't expect them

I love you (x5)

To your warm touch...

I love you, I love you

To your warm touch...

Please hold me

Please catch me’

You were crying softly and he felt your tear since the were falling on to his shirt.

“Dont cry Jagi.. i love you”he kissed you softly and you responded the same way. You loved this man so much. He was everything to you and you are everything to him. After a while both of you went to sleep. It was a peaceful night until you got up and ran to the bathroom. You were feeling more ill than ever and began to vomit and fell on the floor of the bathroom. “Agh... mm...”you tried to get up but you didnt have strength, hou felt your vision getting more blurry and blurry until you passed out. Jin immediately heard something hit the floor and ran to the bathroom. There you were all weak and unconscious. He panicked but tried to relax. He picked you up and soon he was driving to the hospital crying non stop. He texted his band mates. He got to the hospital and they took you. He just sat in the waiting room and cried in silence. The boys got there as soon as possible, saw him and hugged him tight, all of them and Jin broke crying out loud. “I dont want to lose her... i cant lose her please...”he said with a crack on his voice.

“Shhh she will get better hyung”said Jimin.

“Try to stay calm okay?”said Namjoon.

After a few hours the doctors came and talked to Jin. You were in a room but they said you wont make it. He froze and bit his lips. They had you in intensive care but you were no longer in the body. You were not gonna wake up. He immediately went to see you. He grabbed you hand softly, kissed it, kiss your forehead and your lips.”Jagi... i dont know if youll hear me but.. here i go.. i love you with all my heart... the day i first met you was.. like magic.. i fell in love with you in an instant. Youre my everything... with you i have it all.. without you. Im empty... i love you so damn much.. if i lose you ill lose my mind but... dont fight if you cant no more... if you have to leave me do it.. i know youll take care of me from heaven.. i know youll be watching me and supporting me.. i.”he broke crying but tried to finish” im so glad i met you and have you as my wife.. youre the love of my life forever and ever. Ill miss you..”he kissed your lips softly and when he finished kissing you.... you passed away. He could hear the machines going blank. He bit his lips hard and cried softly, he hugged you one last time. He went out the room and the boys were there outside.

“Hyung! What happened?”said Jungkook.

“She... she is not with us anymore..she passed.. away..”his lips trembled and tears were falling down his cheeks. Everyone gasped and their eyes went wide. They immediately hugged him.

Months have passed since you passed away, Jin was okay but he was missing his other part: you. They were on tour and nobody knew you passes away. Only Bighit employees and the guys. He misses you so much. When they went up stage and sang all of the song in this new comeback and stuff. They got to the end were they all thank and say how much they love ARMY. Bow it was Seokjins turn.

“Armyyyyyyyyyy!!!”he said with a smile. “Aaaaarrrrmyyyyyyy”he said playing.” Um.. i wanted to thank all of you and the staff for everything. Army is the reason why i wake up.. and keep going.. because..”he started to tear up.” As you all knew i got married.. and my Jagi is everything to me... i loved that woman with all my heart. But for the past few months ago she got ill and.. she died three month ago..”his voiced cracked and cried in silent ,the others cried too.”she was everything to me.. i feel empty but.. im glad im here today in front of you Army.. and sing this special song that.. is dedicated to my wife..”he smiled with tears and he began to sing ‘I love you’.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! 😭💜

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