Tonight I f*cked my ex. My ex of a long time who I have a child with. We are on really good terms and are sort of friends.
When we were together our sex was amazing - and that is what I’ve always remembered. That and his d*ck anyway.
It’s been a fantasy of mine over the past 2 years or so to revisit old times and go again, as I imagined with experience he would be even better than what I remembered.
The potential was there, he’s tall and thick, a very impressive package, and just looks dirty as f*ck. So I am lay here now so unbelievably disappointed that he just didn’t live up to the memory or expectation.
He used to be very confident, an amazing kisser, not selfish at all, last a long time, go multiple times and just was top of his game. Well tonight none of that existed, apart from the kissing - that was still unreal. But there was about 3 seconds of foreplay for me, didn’t last long at all, didn’t want to go again, completely vanilla not dirty at all, just wasn’t doing it for me.
Stay away from exes people, not worth it x
I hate you, you are everything wrong with people and you truly have no remorse or empathy for anyone but yourself. You only care about yourself and how you feel, you always have and always will. And I really can’t wait to see what comes of this because I’m not going through this again with no one by my side. This time I’ll have people by my side and you won’t. ￼
I wish you never lied to me, told me that you cared about me because I know you don’t. You never cared about me, I was just someone fun to be around. You never loved me, you loved someone else. Just like everyone else has. I guess that’s my type, huh? The type that loves someone else and just needs me for emotional and physical support.
I hate you. I hate you so much. Fuck you.
“And I don't know how I fell for your shit
You gross me out, now I've got the ick
And I've got a list of why you don't get to fuck me
Ten, you're selfish, nine, you're jaded
Eight, the dumbest guy I dated
Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked
Only six seconds and I had to fake it
Five, you're toxic, four, can't trust you
Three, you still got mommy issues
Two years of your bullshit I can't undo
One, I hate the fact that you made me love you”
- Leah Kate, 10 Things I Hate About You
Dad and I drive past my sister's house (she lives on the same street as my parents). There's a car, but it's not hers (we assume that hers is in the garage). I'm bad at recognizing things: people, cars, you name it. So I think nothing, but my dad says:
"I wonder if *sister's* car is inside the garage, since it's not outside."
I pause, and stare at the black car.
"That's not her car? Whose is it?"
My dad says that it's my sister's ex-boyfriend's car.
For context, this ex-boyfriend is... Just fuck no. He uses drugs, has attitude and emotional problems, has threatened to sell my sister's furniture (back when they lived together years ago) because he needed money, and many months ago even threatened her life. In this latter case, I think I've talked about it before, I don't remember right off the bat. So I'll do it again.
(I hope all details are correct, I mostly have trouble remembering "dialogue". My memory is rotting away nowadays, seriously.)
Story begins when my big sister asked me to come to her place so we can go for a walk together and take her dog with us. When I arrive, she's talking on the phone, super tense. I stand there awkwardly, suddenly she turns her attention to me.
Her ex-boyfriend has a gun and is on drugs, in the town center. So, without much thinking, I ask my sister if he has hurt anyone.
"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?! HE'S FUCKING INSANE! HOW WOULD I KNOW?!"
I am mostly like "...sorry, dumb question."
So then she's on the phone with police (again?), tells me to go outside with her dog. So I do, I hear shouting etc from behind the door. After many minutes, she comes out, and loads us in her car. She drives around town twice(?), we don't exchange any words. Then she suddenly drives me home, and I'm like "...".
Later on, when we (me and dad? I don't remember who I was with) drive past her house, we can't see my sister's car there. I'm confused but like "whatever". Later, she arrives to my parents' place (like I said, same street) and parks her car there. Comes inside with her dog, and finally she reveals that her ex-boyfriend had apparently threatened her life and was gonna come over, so my big sister was understandably freaked the fuck out. And this ex even drove past our house like three times, it was late in the evening/beginning of night (starting from 10 pm). And I only knew this because my big sister recognized the car, while I didn't.
That night, I sat under my covers, terrified and just frozen, though on the outside I was emotionless, blank. I had these scenarios playing out like "what if the ex comes over and starts shooting people?"
Thankfully he didn't, police arrested him and took him in for the night. Ex-boyfriend's sister took the blame and all, telling police that the gun was hers and that her brother had done, it was all her. So much bullshit. And then this sister of the ex calls my sister, and says "You know, you're the source of all *ex's*problems. Everything always happens because of you."
And keep in mind my sister didn't even date that psycho anymore.
My big sis slept at my parents' place that night, and some more nights as well, she was fearing for her own safety, which is understandable.
So, why the fuck is that ex at my sister's place? I asked dad if she invited him or did he go there without permission, he said he doesn't know. I asked if something woll happen, he said he doesn't know and tried to change subject.
I don't think my sister would have let that crazy fucker inside after all this, but what do I know? I want to call and ask if she's alive but knowing her she'd be calling me stupid.
I'm not sure what to think, I never wanna see her ex ever again. And this was the cunt that dared to go abroad on holidays and even spend Christmas with us on many years.
I hate him. If he steps inside this house, I'm out.
My ex, and this ex is whom I consider the only person I’ve loved, contacted me and we reminisced about almost everything. Then I asked what he wanted and he said he had a savior complex and there was someone who was in an abusive relationship and he thought he cared for her because of his so called savior complex. I’m sitting here wondering if he ever wanted to save me. I think I asked and no he never thought I needed saving… I don’t… I’m strong and independent. That doesn’t mean I’m not in need of saving. That’s all I’ve ever wanted since I was 18 I wanted to be a kept wife I wanted to live in the 1950s and I know that’s not feminist but that is what I wanted. I’m about to turn 34 I know I am fucking strong and independent……. I want someone to save me