#ex-mormon

[spurgie-cousin]

#flds #fundamentalist mormon #ex-mormon #tiktok #fundamentalist church of latter day saints

[lupinedreaming]

I’m jealous that ex-Catholics have cool aesthetics from their former religion that they can make sexy. But you can’t do that with ex-M/ormonism. We’ve got, what? Scratchy walls? Corporate looking suits? Funny baker’s hats?

There is simply no way to make this sexy

#exmo tag #ex-Mormon #exmormon #exmo

[pens-personal]

Having ex-mormon thoughts today. And dear god the whole "baptism at 8" thing is so fucked up. They preach it like "well 8 is when you start developing the cognitive ability to make serious choices" but like. If all I've been taught my whole life is the church, then even if I CAN make another choice, I'm NOT GOING TO. I'M GOING TO CHOOSE WHAT I'VE BEEN TOLD IS THE RIGHT THING. BECAUSE I'M 8 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN TAUGHT PROPAGANDA MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE.

I distinctly remember that I only wanted to be baptized because I wanted a pretty dress and I wanted to swim in the font (which I never got to do btw 😐). Like shut the fuck up with that "freedom to choose" nonsense. I was coerced and groomed into making the "right" choice.

#exmormon #exmo #ex-mormon #deconstruction #trans #genderqueer #transgender

[libroseitm]

Can I just... I super need to rant cus still feeling quite raw. Warning: it's gonna get really depressing really fast.

I saw my parents yesterday. My parents who are still in the cult (LDS church) that I grew up in which I left two years ago. My parents who are homophobic despite insisting that they're not, who are transphobic, who think relationships must look one way and one way only, who have damaging political views and the list goes on and fuckin on.

When they're over, they expect me to change who I am because a lot of who I am offends them. They don't stop to think that a lot of who they are offends me. They don't think that it might be appropriate to meet half way. That's pretty normal for members of their "church". Ex-memebers are the ones who must change, otherwise they risk those delicate relationships crumbling to the ground.

They would not want a relationship with me with I were my true self around them.

So it fuckin hurts when they tell me they love me. Because it's no longer me they're talking to. I've hidden so much of myself around them, right down to the way I talk (no, seriously) that they're not telling me they love me. They're telling somebody else.

I can't even listen to the music I want to listen to when I escape to the kitchen to make food without fear of some of the songs offending them. Without fear of creating a huge scene.

When trying to show my mum an approximation of the hair style I want, I was looking for a picture of Ed Teach (Our Flag Means Death). I found the one I wanted, paused, and then cropped out Stede. I had to crop him out because my mum can't look at two men in love without making some snide comment.

They have no fucking clue who I am. Because they have no desire to know.

Their love is conditional. They add caviats, and 'despite this' to their love. And it fuckin sucks.

#Ex-mormon #Exmo #It's super fucking great growing up in a cult you guys/gn #10/10 would recommend #Bring your friends and family it's great #Share the trauma #PTSD for EVERYONE! ✨

[justexmome]

I just wanna say that it’s such an amazing feeling when you see something with Mormon lore attached to it and you don’t immediately recognize it’s Mormon.

Like one of my irl exmo friends sent me a screenshot of a YouTube video of a person who made a “celestial kingdom” in their animal crossing and my brain response was immediately wait is this celestial kingdom from a video game or something. And that’s healing.

#exmo #exmormon #exlds #ex-mormon #exmo stuff #personal

[noandpickles]

I wanna talk about a specific form of gaslighting I experienced as a teen that I haven't seen discussed elsewhere. Fair warning, this is going to require a discussion of some Mormon doctrine, and details of my own deconversion. But first, I know there's a lot of discourse about misuse of psychiatric terms, especially gaslighting, so let's start with a definition.

Gaslighting doesn't have a clinical definition, but I think this definition from Medical News Today sums it up pretty well:

"Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person or group causes someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality."

Now for the Mormon doctrine, specifically a piece of scripture called Moroni's Challenge or Moroni's Promise. Moroni's Challenge is in the Book of Mormon, near the end, and is heavily emphasized in Mormon teachings as one of the key takeaways of the book. The relevant passage (Moroni, Chapter 10, Verse 4) reads:

"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost."

This is the final hard sell of every Mormon missionary, every faith-affirming address in a church meeting, every script they teach for converting your friends and neighbors. If you read the book and ask god if it's true, and you really really mean it, you'll get the answer.

Moroni 10:4 is often compared to James 1:5-6, which, according to the church's foundational myth, is the scripture that led Joseph Smith to say the prayer that led to the founding of the church:

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."

I can't overemphasize how significant these two passages are to Mormons. When I was a member (and for a few years after) I could quote both of these from memory. This is the instruction manual Mormons are given for saving souls, including their own.

And with the scene set, on to the story.

When I was a teen, I decided it was time for me to take Moroni's Challenge and find my own unwavering conviction that the church was true. Mormons call this "gaining a testimony," and it's something every Mormon is meant to do. I had already read the Book of Mormon, the Bible, and the other Mormon holy books a couple times, so I started by simply praying. And nothing happened.

Not to be deterred, I set about doing all the various things Mormons are taught to do when they need spiritual guidance and the reception's a bit fuzzy. I started reading the Book of Mormon more often, fasting for a day at a time, trying to cut out "satanic" influences in my life, etc. In case a lack of faith was the problem, I started reading articles by Mormon leaders about how to strengthen my faith, and following their advice.

Aaaand nothing happened.

It's not like the bar was high here. Mormons describe these spiritual confirmations as any one of a range of vague feelings. But no matter how much I wanted that confirmation, I didn't feel anything that I could convince myself was a sign.

This went on for a period of a few months. I don't need to go into much more detail about that process here, except to say that it was an increasingly desperate, frightening, and depressing experience, and I didn't allow myself to consider the possibility that there might not be an answer coming until I was sure I'd done everything I was meant to and received no response. In other words, by the time I stopped believing, I was as certain as I could possibly be.

Eventually, I started trying to talk to people in my life about what I had experienced, and the conclusion I had reached. I'm from a heavily Mormon area. Nearly everyone I'd ever met was Mormon, and everyone I spoke to about my faith in those days certainly was. From family to friends to, on one occasion, Mormon apostle Jeffrey Holland. These conversations took place over a long period, beginning when I was still hoping to get my confirmation somehow but was beginning to despair, and continuing until well after I had stopped believing. In each conversation, my question was basically the same: "I've read the scriptures, fasted, and prayed with faith for confirmation, and I've received no answer. What do you think that means?" And in each conversation, the immediate response was the same: "That didn't happen. Either you weren't faithful enough, or you got your answer and ignored it."

It's not hard to understand why every Mormon I spoke to reacted in the same way. They were just taking the easy out that was built into Moroni's Challenge. "If ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ." Those qualities are impossible to measure or prove. I couldn't demonstrate what my intentions were to anyone else, no matter how sure I was myself. So upon hearing my story, the people I spoke to could conclude one of three things: that the religion their entire life was built around was false, that I was lying, or that I had misremembered or misunderstood some part of my own internal experience.

The first option was obviously not on the table, and people don't like to accuse people they know and like of lying, so every one of them took the third option. These were not generally people with a history of manipulation or abuse. As far as I can remember, my mother had never gaslit or abused me before I lost my faith. And yet, because of this one piece of Mormon doctrine, otherwise caring people just trying to do the right thing ended up gaslighting a scared teenager who was reaching out to them for help. They weren't bad people, and they weren't behaving irrationally. Their decision-making skills were working fine, but they were operating on faulty information, and so they inflicted lasting psychological damage on someone they cared about.

To this day, when I second guess myself about the other shit I went through, telling myself "maybe it wasn't that bad, you're exaggerating, you're misremembering," I hear it in my mother's voice. I doubt my own memories frequently, especially memories of my own thoughts and feelings. Like nearly all the ex-Mormons I've known, I've gone through periods of intense interest in Mormon history and counter-apologetics. Because I'm still never quite sure if I can trust my own memory, but maybe I can back up my experiences with other sources that help confirm my conclusions.

This isn't something I've seen discussed in detail, although I've seen lots of ex-Mormons with similar deconversion stories say that their friends and family just dismissed what they'd experienced. I think our discussions of what we've gone through as ex-Mormons would be helped by understanding this as a form of gaslighting. It's not intentional or malicious, but the effects are the same.

#gaslighting #ex-mormon #exmo #exmormon #ex mormon #cult survivor

[exmosuggestion]

it's been a while since i've posted here. but this is just a general reminder to other ex-mos, and also to current mormons, that you have to put in anti-racist work into your deprogramming and/or ongoing church efforts.

regardless of the intentions of the "original" gospel or the current-day statements on racism (including partnerships with the NAACP on scholarships), the church has a racist legacy and history that they have not apologized for or made restitutions and reparations on (including the early practice of taking slaves as tithes, the forbidding of black men from holding the priesthood, the "lamanite" placement program, and no formal church-level apology and public admonition of individual racist statements and actors within the church). white supremacists feel home and comfortable within the church, and we have to unlearn the things that allow that comfort, and actively fight against it.

#ex-mormon #exmormonsuggestion #mormonism #mormons #mormonleaks #ldsconf #the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints

[atheist-mumblings]

Any exmos have fun conference plans for this coming weekend?

I'm a little worried my super religious aunt has invited my other super religious aunt & uncle over to watch with her. I'll need to gtfo of the house if so... Wonder if the lesbian club/cafe I've been wanting to check out will be open by noon eastern, hm...

Alternatively, anyone interested in an ex-mo discord? Maybe hate-watching conference? Idk if I could even handle that much tho tbh...

feel free to send in asks/submissions if you need snarky commentary during conference, at least

#exmo #exmormon #ex-mormon #tumblr stake #tumblrstake #general conference #I'm at least an adult & openly exmo #really feeling for yall who are minors/can't tell family yet

[arden-wings]

queer ex-mormon/ex-religious people protecting dan reynolds imagine dragons with our very lives 

#is this funny #please laugh im doing my best #imagine dragons #dan reynolds #ex-mormon #lgbt #mlp

[brightgnosis]

You Need To Stop Complaining About Being Called ‘Culturally Christian’

I can't imagine that applying [the term] Cultural Christianity to anyone with a former Christian background is okay. Especially if that person is more likely to suffer abuse from anti-atheists because of it.

Being “Culturally Christian” only means that you grew up in an environment where the dominant religion was Christianity regardless of whether you yourself were ever Christian at any point in your life (but especially if you were). And if the dominant religion itself wasn’t Christianity, then the dominant cultural ideology was still derived from or otherwise influenced by Christianity in some significant way.

Which ultimately means, by proxy, that your own ideology and worldview- or the lens through which you view and interact with the world- will ... Whether you know it or not; whether you truly understand to what extent or depth; whether you wanted it to be or not; and whether you want to acknowledge that fact and work on it or not ... Was or will be deeply influenced by Christianity and its ideas, morals, and so on.

Regardless of whether or not people use it pejoratively in order to inflict emotional violence or bully people (or whatever; which is frankly not something I’ve ever actually personally seen happen- but I don’t discount the possibility that it happens, because there's all kinds of stupid, messed up people out there who will do stupid, messed up, and incredibly idiotic and toxic things to people. Including absolutely ruining the intended use and meaning of critical vocabulary and terminology that we actively need in order to talk about incredibly important sociological phenomenon)... That’s all it means and has ever meant.

The same is actually true of being “Culturally Jewish” or “Culturally Muslim”. But the main reason you don’t tend to actually see these terms thrown around as often (despite the fact they also exist), is because we live in a Christian society; because the majority of the world is Christian; and because the Cultural Christian mindset is actively a problem as a racist, homophobic and transphobic, colonizing (etc) force with global dominance. One which actively and blatantly erases others' religions and cultures, and does intentional damage to peoples' ability to even recognize or acknowledge them- let alone allows them to exist peacefully as equals within the same space.

Because the most dominant form of Christianity is an active force of violently homogenizing dominance.

The Culturally Christian mindset is what leads to things like asserting the incorrect idea that “Christmas is secular”, or "Halloween and Valentines aren't Christian holidays" ... But it's also what drives people coming from Christian backgrounds to attempt to “secularize” what are ultimately Wiccan practices in the way they do (which does not at all legitimately “Secularize” them) while refusing to acknowledge the Wiccan origins of the majority of their practices in the first place (while also throwing childish tantrums about Wicca) ... It’s the driving force behind the Purity Culture mindset, and also Cancel Culture, too, within greater sociocultural ethics and politics ... And it’s behind the ever present Pagan Persecution Soapboxing itself and the idea of “a war on Paganism” ... Plus a thousands more examples.

Cultural Christianity, both as a global force, and as an individual internal issue, is an active problem that needs to be addressed and dealt with. If you find that inherently offensive to have pointed out to you that you are Culturally Christian as someone who was raised in a severely Christian culture and society -- or think it's inherently offensive or insulting to be called Culturally Christian (by anyone)? Then you have a lot of baggage you need to unpack and deal with. And you certainly a lot of growing up and maturation to do, too.

Being traumatized by Christianity on some level does not miraculously change the fact that you are Culturally Christian by the inherent default fact of having been Christian and grown up in an inherently Christian dominant (and dominantly-influenced) society. Nor does it excuse you from the work of confronting, unpacking the luggage of, and healing from your traumatization- but especially not of confronting and unpacking the baggage of the culturally Christian mindset instilled within you by that default.

None of us are ever excused from doing the necessary work.

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This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.

#The Cultural Christian Hegemony #Witchcraft #Wicca #NeoWicca #Paganism #Religion and Witchcraft #Ex-Mo #Ex-Mormon #Mormon Folk Healing #Pennsylvania Braucherei #Original Content #Old Blog Reposts #2022 #Original Witchy Content #Original Life Content #Magic #Witchblr #Paganblr #Wiccablr

[lotusfeather-and-bone]

*Tiny rant incoming, oh well*

I keep seeing a Tumblr post as I scroll my feed that says "Your Body is a Temple" that's got me all up in my Ex-Mormon feels.

Yes, I know the post in question is about Mental Health and the mind-body connection, which I love because mental health awareness is important. But apparently I find the phrase "your body is a temple" triggering in regards to my religious trauma.

So let me just put this out there:

Your body is not A temple.

Your body is YOUR temple.

Your body is yours, it is dedicated to YOU and YOUR spirit.

YOU are the god of that temple, not any other god (Christian or otherwise).

If you want to decorate your body, your temple, with piercings and tattoos? Do it.

If you want to drink or smoke or have sex, then do it (preferably in a safe, healthy and consensual way).

And if you don't want to do those things, then don't.

Your body is holy unto YOU, and nobody else.

End rant. You can keep scrolling now.

#rant #religious trauma #Ex-Mormon

[spurgie-cousin]

ok YES i just need to start participating in ex-Christian tiktok bc this was my thought immediately after hearing this family was mormon and nobody else was talking about it!!

these kind of ideologies idealize and reward strict parenting bc strict parenting = more controllable adult congregation members. everyone is so confused on how this 8 passengers mormon mom was sharing these horrible parenting moments unapologetically and it's like, yea, it's because she thinks she's right on a *spiritual* level so she doesn't give a fuck what people outside of her ideology think. Bc she wholeheartedly believes they're not on her level.

#high control religions = child abuse epidemics #you can't have one without the other regardless of the denomination!! #8 passengers #fundie tiktok #ex-christian #ex-mormon #exvangelical

[lupinedreaming]

Are there any other ex-Mormon fans of the band Ghost here on this Webbed Site? I haven’t seen to many others around

#ghost band #ghost the band #the band ghost #exmormon #ex-mormon #exmo #i have seen a fair number of ex-Catholic and exvangelical ghost fans #But no fellow apostates 😔 #Come join me in Ghost Outer Darkness #🌹 eclipse talks

[pens-personal]

Me at 12: I'm gonna grow up and marry a returned missionary in the temple and have kids and go to the Celestial Kingdom! 😊

Me now, 18, trans, stoned af, sitting naked on my partner's bed: Yuh huh. Good luck with that.

#like it's so funny to me #my younger self would HATE me and I'm so proud of myself for that #I'm living my best life out here #exmo #exmormon #ex-mormon #ex lds #trans #genderqueer #transgender #butch #ftm #trans guy #trans man #bi

[troycattribunny]

My dad was the first person in my family to be kicked out of the church (for questioning while a convert, obviously)

He is now a Christian and Will throw the Bible in my face...

#ex-mormon

[gibbearish]

kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.

#origibberish #ex christian #also yes this is very christian centric but from what ive gathered this could go for Catholics and mormons w their confirmation things #but i know very little about either so didnt feel comfortable mentioning them explicitly in the post