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rex101111 · 3 years

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For a glass of Cactus Wine

Summary: Migelo does both his duties at the fete, one to the Empire, and the other to his kids.

Rating: T

Fandom: Final Fantasy XII

Well! Been a while since I wrote something substantial, but @sevi007 has been doing a live blog of this game, thus reminding me how much I love it, and so here’s a fic depicting the one missing scene in this game I really wanted to see, also to give Lizard dad the content he deserves. Enjoy!

Seeing Arcadian troops stomp in the halls of the Royal Palace made Migelo want to crawl right out of his hide. It’s been two years since those bastards in their tin plates stomped into his home and his city and still he could only barely keep his anger in check at how disrespectful the whole lot of them were.

Leaning on pillars built centuries past, wiping their feet on rugs that took months to weave, pointing and laughing like children at art that they would never understand the importance of. If he heard another one of these piss-drunk bureaucrats call one more thing in this palace “quaint” he’s going to use that same thing to break it over their heads.

Still, years of experience in burying his feelings and opinions about his costumers helped him plaster a smile on his snout. This was simply business, he was providing sundries and food for an event, like he’s done dozens and dozens of times over his long career.

“Watch that crate!” He yelled out to one of the servants, “it’s got wine in it, worth more than ten of your lifetimes! Handle it with a bit of care why don’t you?” The servant sheepishly apologized and asked for help from another servant as Migelo turned his gaze elsewhere, “dear girl, you’ll break your back like that!” He went to a maid and corrected her posture and how she held her tray of food, “there we go now, better?”

“Thanks Migelo.” The maid smiled gratefully, before her face turned sour, “these imperials get nasty when they’re drunk, they keep asking me to run back and forth for all sorts of nonsense.” She sighed harshly, “probably just want a peek up my skirt.”

“You let ol’ Migelo handle them, Meina.” He soothes, turning her to a different direction, “empty that tray and take a break for ten minutes, I’ll have someone else make sure they don’t notice you gone, yes?”

She went off with a smile and Migelo continued like that, his time cleaved cleanly between ordering servants this way and that soothing fraying nerves. This fete needed to go flawlessly, with the consul himself attending every hand on deck needed to give it their all and then some. If the pompous royal left this evening with a good opinion of his food, he might transfer said opinion to the rest of the city. If he did that, maybe his boys and girls could have more room to breathe.

He looked ruefully over the staff, some of the younger ones he’s known since they were children, helped them train for applying for work in the palace. Rabanastre was a small city, everyone knew everyone, and that only became stronger as the plague and the war ravaged the place. Seeing these kids, his kids, running around like cockatrices with their heads cut off for the sake of their invaders made a lick of fire burn in his gut, no matter how hard he tried to douse it.

Worse of all was that he knew he was delaying the inevitable, he had an invitation to answer soon, and the longer he ignored the worse things would get not only for himself, but everyone else living in Rabanastre.

He took a few long breathes, practiced his best servile smile in a nearby plate, pictured the smiling face of every single child under his care in his mind, and went off to sit at the right of the eldest living son of Emperor Gramis, Vayne Carudas Solidor.

The consul was deep in debate with the others sitting at his table, something about tax rates and territory dispute that went right over Migelo’s head, but as soon as the old bangaa drew close enough, as if he could hear his footsteps over the rancor of the room, Vayne stopped talking and turned his head to meet his gaze.

“Ah, Sir Migelo, so nice of you to finally join me.” He motioned for one of the nearby soldiers to pull back the chair at his right side, “please, sit.”

With practice ease, and complaining stomach, Migelo bowed in apology, “I hope you would forgive me, Lord Consul, I had so many things to fix and move, my responsibilities nearly made me forget your most gracious offer.”

“Think nothing of it good Sir,” Vayne waved off easily, “We should all wish to have your work ethic Migelo, so we could accomplish our own work half as well.” Vayne complimented him smoothly as Migelo finally sat, the others at the table nodding sycophantically, before beginning to pour the store owner a glass of red wine. “But, let me remind you that I asked of you to refer to me by my first name.”

Taking the glass with all the grace he could manage, Migelo bowed his head again with an outwardly warm smile, “ah, forgive this old lizard sir consul, I still feel ill at ease referring to one of your station so informally.” The other reason was the only people he called by name were his friends and his kids, and Vayne is not, would never be, either. “Perhaps I’ll manage that better,” he made a show of laughing from his belly, “with a bit of fine Arcadian wine in my system, eh?”

“Of course.” Vayne’s sharp eyes and sharper smile made Migelo feel as if he were strapped to a table, “please, indulge as you please, we have all night after all.”

Nodding, Migelo started to drain his glass, and had to fight his gag reflex with every gulp. Arcadian wine made you feel like someone was trying to prove something to you, too rich, too fruity, too damn much. Seeing the people around him gulp this stuff down was aggravating as it was confusing, you could stuff as many flowers into a bottle of Slaven piss as you wanted, it was still a drink of cold piss.

Decades of honing his poker face in the interest of more returning costumers made sure none of that disgust was visible on his face of course, to any casual observer Migelo savored every drop of the expensive Slaven piss, finishing his glass with a pleasured sigh. “Ahh, what an excellent, uh, flavor profile! So full of life and character!” He turned to the consul with a toothy grin, “How’s about you give me another to loosen my tongue?”

“You are a man of great taste, Sir Migelo.” Vayne complimented, smiling thinly as he filled the offered cup before filling his own. “I’ve heard Dalmascans do not have a high opinion of my home’s signature brew.”

“Bah.” Migelo scoffed easily, “children with no experience on their tongues Lord Consul, nothing to be offended by.” He internally grits his teeth, he heard some of the younger men voice some of their very loud opinions about Arcadian wine in a place where a couple of soldiers could hear them. It ended well for absolutely no one, and he was only glad to make sure his kids didn’t see or hear it. “We Dalmascans are very proud of our own drinks, I think you would see it would make sense to be a bit defensive.” He took another gulp, “pardon m’candor, of course.”

“Indeed.” Vayne nodded, finishing his own glass, “and you have a great many things to be proud of, I’ve heard a fair share of good things about Dalmascan cactus wine.” He looked at Migelo with a gaze that made his scales itch, “have you tried it before?”

He was almost insulted the man had to ask, “o’course I did lord consul!” He tried to be casual about it, but a bit of hometown pride seemed to seep in every other word, “Cactus Wine is easy to brew in large amounts, made from Cactoid fruit and the sands are absolutely littered with the little buggers, it’s what you order when you have something to celebrate or as a victory drink.” Migelo could go for an entire barrel of it right now. “It’s a…simple drink. Simple but hearty.”

Vayne nodded politely as the bangaa went on, before he took the bottle of his expensive wine and looked at it quietly, “…I suppose there hasn’t been much call for it, lately.”

Migelo nearly swallowed his tongue, for all his talk of taking in all of Dalmasca’s hatred onto himself, the consul seemed adept at choosing words to inspire said hatred. “Y-No, Lord Consul, not a lot to celebrate.” He quickly recovered, smiling again as he waved his glass about, “b-but fret not! Us Dalmascans find reason to celebrate no matter the weather! You’ll have your taste of cactus wine before long don’t you worry!”

“Why wait my friend?” Vayne said smoothly, Migelo barely exerting the restraint he needed to stop himself from cursing the consul out on considering himself something he is not, “I have found myself a few bottles for this grand occasion.”

Migelo was stopped short, he had double checked every scrap of food and drink meant for this fete, triple checking the alcohol in particular, and he was sure there wasn’t a drop of cactus wine in the whole palace, he figured the imperials wouldn’t want to touch the stuff. “Y-you did? F-from where lord consul?”

“From the palace cellars of course.” He replied, motioning with his hand to another maid, Kayta if Migelo remembers right, who held a very familiar clay jug in her hands. “If one kind of wine isn’t enough to call me friend, perhaps two would suffice.”

Migelo held Kayta’s conflicted gaze for a moment, before he turned to Vayne with a doubtful expression, “the cellars my lord? Those haven’t been disturbed since the war ended! Who knows what kind of vermin have found their way to the stores?”

“I had my men carefully inspect each bottle.” Vayne assured, which only made Migelo more ill thinking about what Imperial soldiers considered inspecting. “Please, do not be reticent, I find myself curious what a man of your expertise has to say about the difference between one wine and the other.”

Kayta poured Migelo a glass with a sorrowful expression, Migelo soothing the girl as best he could with a smile only she could see, and the bangaa took a long whiff of the drink, before slowly draining his glass.

Cactus wine was sweet, almost sweet enough you could give it to a child without them puffing their little face. Its taste was subtle, airy, doing nothing more than what a wine ought to do and made your face and belly warm. It was cheap drink, cheap enough that working folk could indulge in it without endangering their pay over-much.

It was Dalmasca to the last drop, warm and honest.

“So, sir Migelo?” Vayne inquired when the bangaa finished and had not said a word, “how is your home’s brew compared to mine?”

He was quiet for a few more moments before he turned to the consul, “I must admit to having a bias sir.” He put the glass back down on the table gently, reaching over to grab a grape nearby to soak some of the alcohol in his system, “I’ve been drinking cactus wine since I was a whelp, y’see, it’s a drink for the heart as much for the stomach nowadays.”

Vayne chuckled good naturedly, “well, now you have me curious.” He picked up his own glass and motioned for Kayta to fill it, the girl nearly tripping over herself to bow as she poured without spilling it on him. He took a careful sip…and stopped, an emotion Migelo could not name fliting across his face. “…it tastes…” The consul was quiet for a moment, the rest of the table perfectly silent to await his judgment, “…honest.”

Migelo released a breath he didn’t know he was holding, allowing himself the tiniest amount of pride as he looked at Vayne, “Dalmasca knows no other way, Lord Consul.”

“Pritas.” Vayne looked at one of the people sitting at the table, some peacock in a stuffy red shirt with a pencil moustache, “you should try it, I am certain people in Archades would flock to try this, exotic yet gentle on the tongue.”

Pritas hurriedly motioned for Kayta to pour him a glass, and no sooner than he had a drop of it he was nodding enthusiastically, “y-yes Lord Vayne! You are absolutely correct; everyone will want a bottle of this for any price!”

Migelo, despite his mood and the alcohol in his system, found himself smiling at the sound of it, feeling someone patting his shoulder. “Migelo, after the fete be sure to grant Pritas here the information for whoever you get your cactus wine from, they’ll find more business than ever.”

Migelo could picture the family of brewers in his head, nearly jumping for joy at the chance that fell into their laps, a contract to sell cactus wine halfway across Ivalice. He then imagined their faces when he told them to which half of Ivalice the wine would go. He imagines the shock, the outrage, the sorrow.

He imagines the table with one more chair then they needed, the extra gathering dust for two years now.

“Yes, Lord Consul.” He said as calmly as he could manage, looking into the face of a man whose night has gone exactly as he had planned, down to the last detail, painting a smiling on his snout. “Thank you for this opportunity, I’m sure they’ll see this as a chance to build their life back up to how it was…” He could feel his lips curling over his teeth. “…before the war, that is.”

Vayne’s face drew downwards slightly, an almost robotic motion, “yes, the war has devastated both sides long enough,” He squeezed the shoulder he was holding, in a move meant to be reassuring, “it is past time we helped each other back onto our feet.”

Vaan crying into his shoulder, cursing and yelling and screaming every curse he knew. Penelo holding him tightly as she sobbed. Fire in the sky, visible from his window.

His home, under siege and under iron boots.

Migelo bit his tongue, brought to mind every orphan he and Old Dalan have struggled to keep fed and working and warm, and managed an impossible smile, “yes…way past time…Lord Consul.”

Vayne shook his head with a fond smile, and poured Migelo another cup of Arcadian wine. Migelo drained it without tasting a drop.

(Not long after, barely an hour after, he sees his boy in chains and his girl crying for his freedom, and all the wine in his veins is cold and freezing.

As they dragged his boy away, as his girl fell into the arms of Kayta as she sobbed, Vayne Carudas Solidor came to him, smiled, and clapped his shoulder.)

#Final Fantasy 12 #Migelo #Stuff rex wrote #Cactus wine #Migelo has a hell of a time taking care of his kids

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honestmattress-blog · 7 years

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GoodBed Calls Out Consumer Reports Mattress Reviews

Consumer Reports built its reputation by being a “consumer watchdog,” and through this approach, they have amassed loads of credibility and influence with consumers over the years. While some of this credibility is surely deserved, when it comes to mattresses, it poses a problem for both consumers and the industry — because much of the information they provide is wrong or misleading.

Here at GoodBed, we neither make nor sell mattresses, and we cover both online and offline products of all brands, so I have no stake in who comes out on top per se. My commitment is simply to providing good information — so that the consumer gets the truth and good companies are rewarded for the good things they do. In my mind, a ranking that shows Tempur-Pedic as the worst memory foam mattress brand (and by a large margin) is wildly misleading and the result of an inherently flawed methodology.

For my part, I don’t question Consumer Reports’ integrity. As other people have pointed out, Consumer Reports does earn some of its money through affiliate links (http://d.pr/i/U9Yq). However, I think it’s entirely possible for a company to maintain its objectivity even when it earns revenue through advertising — we do it, and so does the New York Times and every other reputable media company. I believe that where Consumer Reports’ problem lies is that they are presenting themselves as mattress experts, but aren’t.

I have heard the CR mattress “expert” go on TV morning shows and say things like “This mattress here is made of 100% memory foam” (anyone with knowledge of mattresses knows that would be like baking cookies with only sugar and no flour). This same ignorance is reflected in their rankings. 3 of the top 10 “memory foam mattresses” in their current rankings have NO memory foam (incl Tuft & Needle), and another 3 have less than 2 inches of it (incl Casper). Their top “memory foam mattress” is a 100% latex mattress (with no memory foam) that is also listed as “Certified Organic” (it isn’t). This kind of misinformation isn’t just ignorant, it’s irresponsible.

| Casper Mattress Now Charges Up To 21% More For The Same Mattress

So what about the rankings themselves? Aren’t they based on scientific tests? Well, what do you get when you try to apply scientific method without having the proper context or expertise to do so? You get ‘pseudoscience.’ An example of where pseudoscience leads you on the motion isolation front is this utterly confounding statement from Consumer Reports: “None of the memory foam mattresses earned excellent scores for stabilization, so steer clear of that type if this is a big concern for you and your partner.” So according to Consumer Reports, memory foam — the material that was literally developed by NASA for its shock absorption qualities, and whose motion isolation properties can be easily observed in Tempur-Pedic’s famous wine glass test that has been replicated by countless numbers of people — should be avoided if motion isolation is important to you… huh?

Looking at the rankings reminds me of a time a while back when one of the big financial publications was trying to break into the school rankings game that has long been dominated by US News & World Report. To kick off this effort, they produced a ranking of the top business schools in which Harvard Business School was ranked….#21. Now, I did not go to HBS, so I enjoyed the schadenfreude in this as much as the next guy. But it’s utterly ridiculous. You’d be hard-pressed to find a single person among the top business school applicants and professors that wouldn’t place HBS among the top 3 schools where they’d want to be. So when your ‘pseudoscientific’ methodology has it come out as #21…you need to recognize that your methodology is just….wrong.

A deeper look at how Tempur-Pedic (or more specifically, the Tempur-Cloud Supreme) ended up where it did reveals some more specific flaws in Consumer Reports’ methodology: Their durability tests don’t accurately measure durability, especially for all-foam mattresses.

Durability differences are not weighted sufficiently in their overall ranking algorithm. For example, the Tempur-Pedic reported “no changes in performance” while brands like T&N reported “minor changes in performance” — yet both received the highest score for durability.

The Cloud Supreme scored low for back support, esp for back sleepers. This actually passes the smell test IMO. This particular model has not only a lot of memory foam, but it also has a medium-soft feel — a combination that isn’t ideal for support, esp for back sleepers. Of course, in real life a back sleeper could just choose a different Tempur-Pedic model. Pressure relief (which, along with back support, is the other critical thing that everyone needs from their mattress) is not weighted sufficiently in their ranking algorithm. If it were, then a model like the Cloud Supreme that got a relative ding in the support ratings would get a similarly-sized boost from the pressure relief ratings. This was not the case. As a result, brands with less memory foam (or none at all) got way better overall scores.

Net, the people at Consumer Reports aren’t bad people, but they are irresponsible. They are serving up wildly inaccurate and misleading information about mattresses, and selling it to people under the guise of scientific accuracy.

I hope others will join us in standing up to this two-ton gorilla and calling them on their faulty methodology and conclusions, so that consumers aren’t led astray any further by the misinformation Consumer Reports is providing in this category.

Sometimes even the “watchdog” needs a watchdog…

Click here to visit GoodBed.com

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GoodBed Calls Out Consumer Reports Mattress Reviews https://t.co/xgJ46YRC2B @goodbed @ConsumerReports @Casper @TuftandNeedle @TempurPedic pic.twitter.com/xKDVW1pvJy

— Honest Reviews (@honestmattress) January 16, 2017

GoodBed Calls Out Consumer Reports Mattress Reviews https://t.co/xgJ46YRC2B @goodbed @HuffingtonPost @WSJ @nytimes @FurnitureToday #hmr pic.twitter.com/MimvPs8KjB

— Honest Reviews (@honestmattress) January 16, 2017

GoodBed Calls Out Consumer Reports Mattress Reviews https://t.co/xgJ46YRC2B @nestbedding @theghostbed @MattressFirm @mattressclarity #hmr pic.twitter.com/lypA2ZpIUa

— Honest Reviews (@honestmattress) January 16, 2017

Disclaimer

GoodBed Calls Out Consumer Reports Mattress Reviews was originally published on Honest Mattress Reviews

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