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#except john
flyboytracy · 2 years
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wormieapple · 7 months
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the tagline for this show really should be “deserved better” at this point cause what the fuck
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wilde-shit-posting · 1 year
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If Bagel wins I'll perhaps draw some Basil sexy art (keep in mind none of you have ever seen my art)
Perhaps I'll give a sneak peek tonight when I draw with my shower crayons because that's what adults do
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zelamorre · 9 months
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Doyle Canon: This is Dr. John Watson. He has managed to have multiple love affairs on three different continents. He is a love machine. A sex god, if you will. Able to woo multiple Victorian ladies.
80% of Sherlock Holmes Adaptations: This is Dr. John Watson. He looks like a hamster.
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pettycoeurs · 6 months
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do u think price sparkles in the sun?
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alienzil · 5 months
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DP x DC Prompt/notion # 4
So Danny has the classic reveal gone bad scenario and the Fentons try to capture him to "tear him apart molecule by molecule".
Danny escapes into the ghost zone with the help of Sam, Tucker and Jazz but he's in bad shape.
What Danny had never been told is that newly formed ghosts like himself are considered babies until they're at least a century old. Baby ghosts generally either have parents if they're born in the realms or get adoptive parents shortly after forming and are highly dependent on their guardians until their core is fully matured. Every ghost can sense a baby and has the instinctual urge to protect them (especially if they haven't been adopted yet). Every baby ghost has the instinctual urge to find a compatible parent or parents. A baby won't imprint on just anyone and will hide or run from most ghosts until they find one that they can imprint on. The majority of the ghosts that have met Danny never knew he was a baby, both because he already had his living parents and his emotional connection with them was close enough to satisfy his ghostly need for a parental bond and because, with his abnormally high power level, it never would have occurred to them to think he might be an infant. A newborn ancient is exceptionally rare and your average denizen of the realms will have never seen one. Basically, to your average ghost, Danny feels like he's eons old and any hint of "baby" they get from him mostly just ticks them off because they think he's mocking them and pretending to be less powerful than they know he is. The other ancients knew of course, but they also knew that Danny's human guardians were satisfying his needs for now and most assumed he would be adopted once they passed. Half a century or so isn't very long to wait after all and the new baby is half human so it's probably best to let these things happen naturally.
Knowing none of this, when Jack and Maddie rejected Danny it severed their connection and the backlash of losing that bond caused his Phantom self to naturally revert to a smaller form that more closely matched his actual age as a ghost. Still in shock and operating almost entirely on instinct and emotion, Danny started to search the Realms for what he had lost. He needed to find his parents.
*****
Meanwhile, John Constantine had a problem with an upstart cult that had summoned an interdimensional...something. He really didn't care. Whatever it was, was behind a barrier they'd thrown up that he couldn't breach. He'd be perfectly willing to leave them to their own mess except their whole damn town was behind the barrier so now it was his problem to fix.
Interdimensional problems call for interdimensional solutions so he'd called Bob. Bob wasn't really his name (nor was he really a he) but he hadn't objected to the moniker or the pronouns John had given him so Bob it was. Bob was an eldritch nightmare of a creature who kept the bulk of his true form politely out of this dimension and only just barely inched in for a quick visit every 20 years or so. Constantine had worked with him before, he was a pretty nice bloke for an unknowable monstrosity.
Bob fed on energy and his usual diet consisted largely of the background energy of the cosmos but he liked a special treat now and then (who doesn't?). So John made a deal with him. Bob took care of his little cult problem and John spent a very... ahem... "energetic" evening with Bob in exchange. Not really a hardship on John's part, Bob wanted more energy, not less, and knew a thing or two about how to get it.
*****
The creature known as Bob was preparing to withdraw the small portion of his presence that was currently on Earth with the human called John Constantine when another part of him noticed something. Bob smiled to himself (as much as Bob could smile that is). What a wonderful coincidence that the Constantine human's energy would be so perfectly matched to this other beings and that Bob was here at the exact right moment to assist with their meeting!
"I thank you again for sharing your energy John Constantine. It was delicious as always."
"Don't mention it mate. Look me up next you're in town and feeling a bit peckish. Always happy to oblige." John replied with a smirk.
"I will heed your words John Constantine and seek your presence upon my return. As a token of my affection for you, a small gift that you might enjoy until we meet again." Bob briefly opened a portal between the Infinite Realms and the House of Mystery as he left. He hoped his human friend would enjoy the gift. Bob had never spawned himself but he'd heard parenthood was one of life's great joys.
"Gift?" John had just enough time to say as he was hit in the face by a chirping, wriggling, excited creature.
"Oi!" John stumbled back a step as he reached up to try and pry the thing off his face. He managed to grab ahold of the damn beast and held it out at an arms length to get a look at it. Deprived of his face, it wrapped its body tightly around his arm and nuzzled its head into the palm of his hand.
John stared at the creature. It was the roughly the length of his arm, mostly black with white markings and white floating hair on a human shaped head and face, complete with glowing green eyes. It was vaguely snake shaped...or... one might say...tentacle shaped...
John gulped and pictured Bob. Bob's appearance, or what little bit of his appearance John was able to perceive, was a writhing mass of black tentacles that glowed a bright, luminous green.
So, the "gift" Bob had left him mostly had Bob's coloring and was kinda Bob shaped. Except it had small human arms and hands and a tiny mostly human head and face and... was that his nose?!
"Oh bollocks, I'm a dad!"
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dizzybizz · 1 month
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
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shit-talker · 2 months
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The 141 have a ridiculous run of inside jokes that is continuosly ruining their lives, such as;
1.) If someone says, "You love it really," to you, you immediately have to agree with them, no matter what the circumstances. Otherwise, you lose the ability to do it back. This has resulted in many weird fake confessions, including one time in which Soap got fed up with people making your mom jokes at him and went on a rant about it. Ghost glanced at him in front of a room full of cadets and just went, "You love it really, though," and Soap almost died as he sadly nodded and replied, "Yeah, I do."
2.) If something even remotely sexual sounding is said about you, you must always say, "You're damn right I do/am/will," back. This backfired once when they were in a defreif and Price said something about Gaz "coming through the back door" and Gaz, without think, winked and replied "You're damn right I did," In front of everyone and got in trouble for mild insubordination. (The others almost died laughing as he realised what he'd done, who he'd done it to, and who he'd done it in front of (aka Price's bosses))
3.) When talking about Roach, they will always act like he's died. He hasn't, but none of them can stop the joke, and it always makes all of them crack up, even Roach. This once caused major panic, as once when Ghost was discussing their latest mission with Laswell, he said, "It was fine because Roach - God rest his soul -" and Laswell had about two minutes where she thinks Roach has dropped dead and she didn't fucking know.
4.) They will always make up bad stories for how they met Ghost, if anyone ever asks. It doesn't matter what the truth is, or who they're speaking to, when asked, all three of them will reply with some made up, overly dramatic or down right boring story on how they met. These stories ranged from Ghost, saving them from a shark attack (Gaz), Ghost selling them assorted drugs as a teenager (Roach), and most devastatingly is when Soap told a distant relative of his that he met Ghost after "finding him with my older brother, behind his wifes back" he does not have an older brother, and so there is no wife.
5.) They always reference the "Malibu incident." None of them have ever been to Malibu. Nothing bad has ever happened there, but now they've created a whole conspiracy in the British Army about a coverup that happened in Malibu. Price knows about this one and finds it endlessly funny, so he goes along with it, never directly mentioning it but refusing to deny it when someone asks. If anyone ever asks about the details of it, they just give a deadpanned look as if the other person should already know and say; "Don't make me say it." There are rumours. Like, a lot of rumours.
6.) Roach claps every time someone says, "I'll be there for you" because once he clapped at the wrong time during the friends intro and had been paying the price ever since. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes you'll just hear him clapping - not even in the tune to the friends theme. Just random clapping. If any of the others hear it, they almost always reply with "That's a fuckin' joke" in a really disappointed tone. It's confused a lot of people.
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artistmarchalius · 3 months
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A formative experience.
A prequel to the Pop Rock Floyd series.
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spacedace · 1 year
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It was the final hour. Doomsday at their door, with only hours left before the world was consumed entirely and every last living thing was devoured right along with it.
Summoning the High King of the Infinite Realms was the only option left, and even then felt more like choosing a firing squad rather than a noose at the end of the day. Pariah Dark might - might - accept the task of destroying the foe they faced, but tmit would come at a cost that was near equal to doing nothing at all. Provided the tyrannical ruler simply didn't let them all die, an entire planet dead was an entire planet to add to his endless armies.
They had to try. Stupid and suicidal as it was.
Zantanna and John worked in silence as they created the summoning circle, hands shaking and stomachs cramping as they worked under the apprehensive eyes of the rest of the League. They all understood that no matter what happened, they would all likely end up dead by the end of it. That the best case scenario meant that death was only the beginning of their problems.
Candles were lit. Insense burned. Blood spilled. Words spoken.
Nothing.
Nothing.
It failed, not so much as a flicker of magic. Which was impossible, they'd checked and confirmed a dozen times that they had the right ritual, that they were following the steps, they had done everything right way wasn't it working? What had they done wr-
"Ugh, gross is that blood?"
Elle Phantom, fifteen minuted late to the site of the ritual with both the boys Super, the most murderous Robin and a sugary abomination of an iced coffee from Starbucks, scrunched her nose in disgust as she looked at the summoning circle.
"This ritual is so out of date, where did you even find it? Wait is that Latin? Who tries to summon someone from the Ghost Zone in Latin?"
John had burned through every drop of alcohol and cigarette he owned hours ago while trying to find this bloody damn ritual and was very much not in the mood for the little hellspawn's color commentary on the process.
"I don't bloody well seeing you providing with any alternatives for summoning the Ghost King." He swore, turning away from the gremlin to tear through the ancient book he and Zantanna had discovered with the ritual inside.
There was a loud slurping noise as the undead hero sucked the last remnants of her drink through the straw. John's brow twitched, even Zantanna - who usually seemed endeared by the chaos goblin - looked at the end of her rope.
Then - "Oh, is that who you wanted to summon? Why didn't you say so?" She drifted over, handing her empty drink off to a disgruntled looking Batman, and began rummaging through the unused magival supplies left over from the - failed - summoning circle. "Here, give me like, five minutes."
John was fairly certain his head was about to explode.
"You know how to summon the Ghost King? You?"
Phantom rolled her eyes at him. "Duh, obviously."
"Obviously." Zantanna repeated, looking like she was half a moment away from having a breakdown. She didn't try to stop the ghostly girl, though, and to be fair neither was John. They were already fucked, might as well let the gremlin try her hand at it.
It took less than the five minutes Phantom had claimed she needed.
When she was done there was a significantly smaller circle on the ground. At the cardinal directions of the circle, written clockwise she'd drawn not any magical runes but instead what appeared to be the Roman Numerals for one, then two, then something akin to a sideways T with an additional mark rising upward from the long horizontal bar, then the letter L.
It had to have some kind of ancient magical significance John didn't know as Shazam made a noise like a dying goose and squeaked out the word Loss like it was a question. Phantom gave the Champion of Magic a sharp toothed grin before adding some words in a language John didn't know before she finally allowed gravity to pull her back to earth and plant her feet on the ground.
She wiped her hands together a bit dramatically, looking pleased with herself, but at that point John didn't care. He could feel the building magic, heavy and oppressive as she had begun her task. Unlike the circle he and Zantanna had attempted, this one was working.
He couldn't help thr nervous swallow he gave as Phantom then declared, with a strange amount of seriousness. "All that’s left are the words."
She took a deep breath, eyes closing for a moment, and the world went utterly silent around them. This, John could feel, this was the real deal. Fuck him sideways the hellspawn was actually doing it.
Phantom's eyes opened, glowing with that bright eerie green light of her power. Another deep breath and then -
"You are my dad! You're my dad!" He watched, any scraps of hope she'd instilled in him dying an undignified death as she gave a terrible little wiggle dance while she sang(?) Off key, "Boogie woogie woogie!"
Every last person on Earth was going to die and one of John's last moments was going to be spent watching the little undead shit do the Macarena. Well fuck him, he guessed.
Then there was the sound of the veil between the world's tearing in two and the fucking Ghost King was standing in Phantom's summoning circle screaming in a screeching falsetto:
"When will you learn? When will you learn that your actions have consequences!"
You know what actually at this point John would rather the apocalypse kill him.
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radars-teddy-bear · 4 months
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hey , don’t cry . 256 episodes of mash to watch . many enjoyable . all with hawkeye . okay ?
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wombywoo · 1 year
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just some everyday cowboys 🤠
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rcbertleckie · 12 days
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bucky and buck calling each other by their real names
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forestshadow-wolf · 2 months
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Soap stimming by repeatedly clicking his pen over and over because he's understimulated
And ghost who's about to smack the shit outta him because he's overstimulated
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mobius-m-mobius · 8 months
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#Sir Derek Jacobi is just gonna keep getting away with it huh 😔 (insp)
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divine--serenity · 13 days
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the husband challenge
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ミ★content included: do yall know that one tiktok challenge where partner A is like “and im doing this with my husband!” yet they’re only dating? yeah, that’s this!! mayhaps a marriage proposal or two… or three…
ミ★word count: 921
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The phone was propped up onto your dashboard, the engine of the car humming in your ears. He looks at you softly, eyes crinkling in adoration when your hands clap together.
You clear your throat, smiling widely, “Okay guys! So today we’re doing a video with my husband!”
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ミ★Capt. John Price
“About time you realized that.” He grunts, folding his arms against his chest. You turn to him quickly, a twinge of pain from the fast movement.
“John, what does that mean?” He looks at you, analyzing your words and the tone you used. His eyes scan over to the phone camera as he clears his throat.
His lips quirk upwards into a sly smile, eyes crinkling at the edges when you start to laugh softly. “I’m just glad my baby knows that they’re married.”
“Not yet!” You chide playfully. Price agrees while shaking his head at your antics.
“I’ll make sure it happens in due time.”
ミ★Lt. Simon “Ghost” Riley
“Not your husband.” It’s a statement that’s final in all ways. He watches your expression from the corner of his eye, waiting for the inevitable collapse.
“Oh?” Is all you say as the camera is turned off. Nervousness builds in his brain, setting him on edge the longer you go without speaking. He expects crying and hysterical questions, not this. Not silence that digs itself into his palms and draws blood.
But you’re cold and unwilling to acknowledge him, not until he starts laughing and kissing at the skin of your knuckles. You try to pull away but he keeps them firmly in place. “Baby, baby, look at me.” He’s pleading you to look at him, but you stay solid.
“What the fuck was that Simon?” He snorts and kisses your palm, his thumbs rubbing against the skin.
“Baby, I was joking,” He watches as you roll your eyes. “I’ll do the laundry for the next two months.” You brighten up at his words.
ミ★Sgt. Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
You notice his cockeyed stare, his left hand flipping back and forth as if he’s looking for a ring. “Oh, what are we then?” You turn to face him slowly, jaw propped open in disbelief.
“Kyle, we’re married!” He crosses his arms and rolls his eyes, showing disdain at your words. You click your tongue and grab his forearm softly, “Baby, look at me.” Kyle side eyes you, pursing his lips and showing you a barren ring finger.
“Dovie, there’s no ring! I cannot be your husband without one,” He bemoans. “Change that if you want husband privileges.”
ミ★Sgt. John “Soap” MacTavish
“Och, mah god! teuk ye lang enough.” He starts off his tangent, beginning to grumble again. You laugh at his antics as you lift up the takeout he got you both.
“My husband–“ He’s staring at you with stars in his eyes. “He got us something quick and easy because he’s about to be deployed again. You all know how hard it is watching them go.” Johnny doesn’t bother acknowledging what you say like he usually does.
“A’m yer husband! Fuck, how come didnae ye say that afore?” He’s slowly unraveling his proper english the more he becomes flustered at the idea of a ring on your finger.
“Ah'ament goin awa ye, nae 'til thir's a ring oan yer finger,” He whispers as he picks up your hand, pressing gentle kisses on your knuckles. “A'm marrying ye th' nicht.”
“Baby, Johnny, that’s literally tonight.” The food’s set down on your lap as he stares into your eyes, hopelessly in love with you even more.
“Dinnae care, bonnie.”
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ミ★Capt. John MacTavish
John looks at you from the corner of his eye, lips pursed in agitation. “Why did it take you this long to say it?” The words cause you to stumble over yourself. Cheeks heating up slowly until John noticed your eyes shifting away in nervousness.
“Love, it’s a trend. You know, one of those things I showed you.” He hums softly, now facing you entirely in the car. “John, you know it’s not a real video right?”
He stays silent as he lifts up his shirt, revealing your name on his rib. A cursive tattoo font on there, slightly faded with that noticeable blue ink look that tattoos have.
“Oh no, how long have you had that?” The horror on your face causes him to start laughing gruffly, your eyes watching the way your name bounces on his skin as he chuckles.
“Well, when you know, you know.” He shrugs. “Since I knew ya.” He reaches for your hand to place it on his ribs, but you shriek and slap at his arm playfully.
“You weren’t joking when you proposed a week into us dating?” He shakes his head ‘No’ at your question. His answer causes you to groan in disbelief.
ミ★Sgt. Keegan P. Russ
He turns towards you, a sly smile on his face. Keegan looks into the camera then flashes a bare ring finger, flipping his palm back and forth as he demonstrates the lack of a ring.
“I ain’t your husband.” He smushes your face between his palms, puckering your lips in the process. That stupidly handsome smile of his turns coy when you grin back just as cheekily.
“What do ya mean? We’ve been married 12 years Keegs!” He scoffs at your words and kisses you softly, still holding your face in his hands.
“Cause I’ve been too pussy to ask you to be my spouse.” Your jaw drops as you turn to face the camera.
“WHAT.”
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tags 🏷️ (if i forgot your name, pls let me know!)
@glossysoap @lordlydragon @ghastlybirdie @warenai @ivymarquis @keegansshark @luvecarson @violet-phantoms @azzy-ar @rosee-sensuelle @ghostfacebunni @kristyxoxo @astrodog69 @demideviil @tiffdaly04 @dumbjayde @kariiiel @taronyuhunter @lazarus-writes-nonsense
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