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kiwisbell · 8 months

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Boots [joel miller]

Joel doesn't like the idea of someone else gettin' all your best.

pairing: joel miller x female!reader

rating: 18+ (mdni)

tags and warnings: jealous joel giving you a lesson in who really likes you best, birthday sex, (over)protective joel, softie joel, dominant joel, oral sex (m and f receiving), face-sitting, riding, no plot just porn and some fluff because it's me, possessive sex, praise kink, squirting, established relationship

word count: ~ 4.5k

hello, all! i'm beginning to unload my fics onto tumblr for those who prefer reading in this format - and as a result, some of you lovely folks who follow me will likely see works you've already read before. i sincerely apologise for that, but many new projects are in the works as well because i love y'all and i live to please. that aside, if you're new here, welcome, and i hope you enjoy this one-shot!! <3

BOOTS

If there's anything you know about Joel, it's that he can get real angry.

It ain't like he's always mad. He lives a lot of his life in utter silence, but you like to watch him. Sometimes, in the dark, he sits on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees, steepling his fingers and bringing them to his chin. He’ll sit like that for hours without moving, barely shifting to take in air, and you know never to shake him from that trance. It’s how you’ve learned to read between the lines.

After fifteen years by his side, you can gauge his moods better than the weather. He’s got a restless spirit, but his voice is midnight water. It’s calm and dark and clear, and it rumbles: the ripples left behind by skipping stones. He never lashes out at you, never raises his voice.

Except for that one time in New Jersey.

“Are you goddamn fuckin’ stupid?”

This was a little while before you could patent your Joel-handling techniques, so you did what any woman would do when a man calls her stupid: you folded your arms over your chest and got just as mad. “Stupid?” you said incredulously. “I saved your ass in there. Multiple asses, actually.”

Above you, the canopy of brilliant red leaves felt like a bloody shawl, and they crackled underfoot. You sported a limp thanks to a sprained ankle and your lip was bloody, but you were fine. Truly. And yet, Joel’s anger was pulsating. You could see it: heat waves, distorting the air around him, his brows flattening over his eyes and his nostrils flaring. A bull ready to charge. He was brimming with the need to release this energy.

Behind you, a building burned. The fire was a monstrous, lively thing, and it scorched the hairs on the back of your neck. Inside lay the bodies of the men you’d stolen the medical kits from, along with two of your own crew. It was only you and Joel left. It was autumn, and the breeze was welcome in such relentless heat.

He’d been ambushed just as much as the rest of you, but rotten fuckin’ luck had pinned a man on top of him—armed with a knife, inches from Joel’s eye. Not trusting yourself to make a shot without hitting him, too, you had tackled the man without thinking much. It had worked well enough to send his knife clattering across the burning hut. He’d landed a punch to you before Joel had blown his head clean off. Brain matter still clung to your jeans, but you tried not to look. When you’d rolled the body off you, Joel shot him again. He was covered in blood from his greying hair to his boots.

“Your job is to look out for yourself out there,” he snapped, “not me. The fuck were you thinkin’?”

Your frown only deepened. What had you been thinking? Maybe leaving him to die would teach him a lesson or two about what it was like to fear for someone’s life. Even if it was his own. “We need to go. You can yell at me later.”

Joel didn’t say anything when he kneeled at your feet and lifted your ankle up onto his raised knee. You yelped when you almost toppled over, but he kept you steady and inspected the swollen flesh. He was achingly gentle when he prodded at you, his expression softening into something more like concern. “This hurt?” he asked.

“Of course it hurts, Miller.” You lifted a brow at him, but he wasn’t looking up. “Want me to try on a glass slipper, or can we go?”

“Still think that was stupid,” he grumbled.

You snorted. “Yeah, well, you’re the only one who can navigate for shit, and I don’t fancy getting lost without my own personal compass.”

When he stood, Joel surprised you some more by gently patting your leg. “Real nice,” he said under his breath, shrugging the strap of your pack farther up your shoulder. “Stay behind me.”

You grinned up at him. “Happily.”

He never gets angry for long. Not at you.

There’s a knock at his door in the rhythm only the two of you know. He still checks the peephole, but it’s you. You slip inside, practically bounding on the balls of your feet, that cute fuckin’ grin on your face as you hide something behind your back. “Guess what day it is,” you say.

Joel will never let it leave this room that he indulges in your stupid game. “Sunday,” he tries.

Your pout is extravagant, but he’ll be damned if it doesn’t make him want to bite it off your pretty mouth. “Rhymes with smirthday. Y’know… the only day I ever ask you for anything.”

He clicks his tongue. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”

You roll your eyes and bring your hands around from behind your back. You’re holding a cupcake.

“Holy shit. Where the fuck did you get that?”

“The FEDRA guy who monitors my building likes me,” you tell him, honest as ever. Too honest for this world and too damned sweet to be anything but a liability. And yet, here he is, digging, indulging, sinking his claws in. “Enough to sneak this to me from the kitchen, apparently.”

That makes him feel real fuckin’ grumpy. Nobody with eyes would be enough of a fool to deny that you’re gorgeous, but it doesn’t make him sleep any better knowing other men are chasing that brilliant twinkle in your eyes. He wants to tuck it between his ribs and let it illuminate his insides. He doesn’t want anyone else to see it, not ever.

“He’s tryin’ to make a move on you,” says Joel. “That’s what that is.”

If there’s a second thing you know about Joel, it’s that he lives with his foot in his mouth. Unfailingly.

You have long since learned the tactics of Joel-handling. You'd be offended if it were anyone else, but you just pat his cheek affectionately. “Sit down.”

To his credit, he does, but not after some grumbling. You scrape the second chair along the floor until it's right next to him. You split the cupcake in two as best you can and pass him one of the halves. Joel eyes it suspiciously. “You sure this is edible?”

You just take a bite and groan. It's been a long time since you've tasted chocolate, let alone the decadence of over-sweet frosting. Joel watches you carefully. Your lashes flutter in your trancelike enjoyment, a small speck of white frosting on the top of your nose. He's overcome with the knowledge that people in this world would try and take you from him. That people have put guns to your head, that they have harmed you, that they'll do it again and again. This world does not leave a woman like you untouched.

It's a good thing you've got him to make sure the world goes nowhere near you.

“Got frosting on your nose,” he says gruffly, trying to suppress his smile as he swipes it away with his thumb. “Some killer you are.”

You kick your legs up onto his lap. His thumb idly circles your ankle bone. “I don’t pretend to be a killer. I get by just fine, Miller.”

“Yeah?” He lifts a brow. “And if I wasn’t here?”

You shrug. “Dead, probably.”

Joel takes a bite of the fucking cupcake and he's a little mad when it's not bad.

You sit at the window on his bed later, your knees drawn up to your chest and your cheek resting atop them. You like to watch the lights of the FEDRA vehicles and the occasional star that winks at you from high above the QZ. You're a pretty sight to look at all the time, but it feels somehow more delectable when you don't know he's looking.

It's nearing midnight, and you're getting up to leave. Curfew means you have to scurry back to your apartment across the street or you'll be stuck here all night. It also means you have to walk right past the same officer who snuck you that cupcake.

“You asked me once if I ever wanted to end it.”

Across the fire, he looked like a spectre: a thing you could not touch, sizzling tendrils of silvery air curling around crackling flame. You’d stopped for the night, and neither of you wanted to sleep. Even though you’d both seen enough fire for a lifetime, you still extended your palms toward it and let it warm you as you watched his dark brown eyes grapple for a way through the thistly wood of his past.

“I tried,” he told you. “After I lost her.”

Somehow, you felt undeserving. Like wrapping your fingers around a piece of Joel Miller’s steel-hard aorta and yanking out all the precious bits that came with it. Like licking the blood from the heart and shoving it back inside. Would he ever be the same knowing another soul in the world had this information? Would he come to regret telling you?

He watched you stand and shuffle up next to him on the piss-poor, blood-stained excuse for a sleeping bag. When your fingers lifted to the scar on his throat, he did not flinch away. Your hands were warmed by the fire. It filled the very soul of you, that flame. He did not meet your eye, but you looked into his nonetheless.

“I’m happy you missed.” A hand, warm and kissed by a tenderness he would never deserve, settled at the nape of his neck. Fingers gently combed through the grey strands, and he leaned into your touch, not quite understanding the pull but giving in nonetheless. For the first time in years, he thought he might be able to sleep if you just kept touching him like this.

Your next words were soft, but they were not afraid. “But I’m sad I never got to meet her.”

His head turned, and at last, his eyes met yours.

“Me, too.”

You smiled sadly. “Joel.”

“Don’t ever,” he said slowly, his hand squeezing your knee, “play fast and loose with your life again. Your life happens to fuckin’ matter to me.”

And that was that.

At some point, this began. Neither of you attempt to define how or when. Perhaps it has always been. It isn’t like time matters anymore.

When you pass Joel on your way to the door, he grabs your wrist.

“Does that FEDRA fucker know whose place you go to every night?”

You sigh, turning your head to meet his eyes: glimmering black beetles in the dim light. “Joel. Don’t be an asshole.”

But he’s long past trying not to be an asshole, especially when it comes to people honing in on his fucking territory. He tugs you by the waist so your back is pressed against his chest. His fingers are splayed over your belly. “You like him?” he says into your ear.

Your lashes flutter on your cheeks. “Joel.” His name sounds like the citrus of the oranges you like from the cafeteria. It’s sweet and tangy and somewhat discrete. “You know I need to meet with Robert about the battery tomorrow. You’ll keep me up all night.”

A grunt rumbles deep in his chest. “You’re not goin’ to see Robert alone.”

“That was part of his deal.” You gasp when he buries his face in your neck, sucking at the skin beneath your ear. He’ll make it show up angry and purple for the FEDRA officer and, fuck it, the entire QZ to see. He’ll litter your whole body with bruises and hickeys like he's a goddamn teenager if that's what it takes to keep you here.

“Shit fuckin’ luck.” His fingers dip to the waistband of your jeans. Your hips rock subtly and he smirks against your skin. “Robert doesn't get to decide how this goes.”

“Yeah, he does. He’s the one with the battery.”

The scratch of his beard is rough and deliberate against your neck. “If he doesn't wanna see me,” says Joel, unbuttoning your jeans and sliding the zipper down, “he can tell me himself.”

“He’s terrified of you.”

Joel turns you around and presses you right up against his chest. You feel his hardness at your belly, the sear of his gaze through yours. “Good,” he says. “Get on the bed.”

It’s already midnight, which means you’ll get chewed out if you try to leave now. Joel’s plan, you guess. “You jealous of a little FEDRA officer, Miller?” Backing toward the bed, you smile up at him, coy and teasing.

“You never answered my question.” He chases your body, stalking toward you as his hand juts out to squeeze your hip. Your legs hit the edge of the bed. “Do you like him?”

His lips are so close you could just surge toward him and end this suffering. But he's keeping you at arm’s length, keeping you pliant under his touch because he knows—the bastard—that he’s winning.

Still, getting a rise out of Joel Miller is your birthright. “Would you rather I fuck a Firefly?”

A faint sneer twists his mouth, and this is his anger. This is the simmering, thrilling thing that infests your very blood. He’s jealous, and you're surprised at how deliciously it thrums in your lower spine, knowing he’s furious at the thought that someone else could even come close to the way he knows you.

The kiss begins slowly. For the heat you can feel through the press of his chest against yours, his nose only gently nudges yours as he works his way up to claiming your mouth. When he does, it’s a bizarre and dizzying shift compared to the rage you know he feels. The desire to march out onto the street and beat that officer to near-death. He compensates with a unique tenderness, taking his time with you, his hand pressing down against the exact spot on your lower back that forces his hips to mould to yours. His other cups your face, his fingers winding into your hair and curling at the back of your neck. It forces you to look up at him.

His beauty loops like a knot through your nerves. If you prodded any spot on your skin, the blood beneath would sing with the topography of him. You know the lines of his face better than your own. There is a patch in his beard that resembles a heart. There is a twinkle in his eye that lingers when he frowns and smiles. It’s a rare thing in such a sullen person. But you like finding those eyes in the dark. Somehow, for you, he’s hope.

When his lips finally meet yours, they're soft, and he lets you reach up to tangle your fingers in his soft, messy hair even though he’s doing everything he can to keep you under his control. Not that you mind. He knows you're his.

He deepens the kiss with a soft groan, curving his body over yours, tongue seeking the seam of your lips. You part them willingly, gasping when he lurches forward and slides his tongue along yours, biting and sucking at your lips. Joel growls softly at the faint noises you make, your fingers tightening in his hair, the pleasing sting in his scalp sending jolts down to his hard cock.

“MmmmmJoel.” You’re panting, desperate for air he won't give you. He likes this—making you gasp, making you weak, making you forget entirely that you’re supposed to be teasing him.

“Careful,” you gasp, barely able to form words around his mouth on yours. “Gonna hurt your back.”

That only seems to egg him on. He may not be young and agile anymore, but that’s never stopped him from giving you what you need. He turns you around and lies on his back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you down on top of him. Your jeans go quickly, sliding down your hips with your panties and dropping somewhere on the floor. Your shirt follows, his fingers enjoying their path along your shoulders as he slips your bra straps down: a rare moment of indulgence and appreciation in a world that does not allow either.

For a moment, he just looks at you, brushing the pad of his thumb across your chin. Your eyes glimmer from the light through the window. “You only like me,” he says. Matter-of-fact. He knows.

But you smile, because he decided to say it anyway. “I only like you, Joel Miller.”

A hand kneads your ass, giving it a smack. You jump in his grasp, but he just gives you that crooked smirk and whispers: “Come take a seat.”

You rear back, frowning at him. Is he—

“You waiting for a sweeter invitation, baby?” His voice is low and gruff, unused to compromise. You feel his fingers dig into your ass and pull you up onto his chest. Your cunt is slick with anticipation and the ichor of desire.

He wants you on his face.

“What if I—”

“Sit.” Every letter feels like a deliberate strike, bone-deep. “C’mon, now.”

Let me show you how much I like you.

Your bottom lip between your teeth, you shuffle gingerly up his chest until you can brace your hands on the wall, your cunt hovering over his mouth. Joel doesn't like that. He wraps his hands around your upper thighs and forces you down onto his face. You gasp his name, one hand flying to his hair and locking your fingers in his locks. “Fuck.”

He grunts, squeezing your thighs up to your hips as he pulls your clit into his mouth, lathering it with his spit and your wetness. It’s white-hot: the pressure on your sensitive little bundle of nerves, the insistent bump of his nose against your clit as he teases his tongue around your tight hole. “Joel, Joel, fuck,” is all you can manage, sweet little gasps that he drinks in, his hips bucking involuntarily with the delicious pain of your fingers pulling at his scalp. You're losing grip on the real world and slipping elsewhere, and he wants to get you there.

One of Joel’s hands slides between your legs, easing them open even more, and rests on your belly, shifting to your ribcage and helping you steady yourself atop him. His fingertips graze your breasts, reverent and gentle despite their roughness. Those hands have been split and bloodied, but they hold you like they’ve never known anything but kindness. His eyes closed, savouring the taste of you, his fingers trace a scar on your sternum from an incident at knifepoint six years ago. He cannot see it, but he knows it nonetheless.

Joel is greedy when he has his face buried in your pussy. He doesn’t get the opportunity to take his time like this often; the both of you have only ever been acquainted with impermanence. But now, tucked comfortably between your thighs, licking between your folds like a starving fuckin’ dog, taking what he wants from you.

The sounds are slick and obscene, mingled with your drunken sighs and words of encouragement as you curl your fingers against the wall uselessly. “Joel,” you whimper, your hips rolling against his face, moonlight bursting on your eyelids. “I… can’t… so good—”

He groans, his hand smacking your thigh, feeling your cunt gush on his tongue as he flicks his tongue against your clit repeatedly. He’ll imprint the feeling of him on your skin forever—if he hasn't already. He’ll make sure you never have another man like you have him.

It’s a selfish thing, love. He's mastered clutching it to his chest and keeping his palm closed right around it.

“I’m… oh, fuck, I’m gonna…” Your hips buck wildly, and a growl rumbles deep in his chest, holding you steadfast and firm to his face. He sucks your clit back into his mouth and fixes his tongue to you, wiggling slightly as he feels you stiffen above him. “Oh, my—gonna come!”

He knows. You're already coming. Your hand leaves his hair and braces next to your other one on the wall, ensuring you don’t fall over as your thighs shake uncontrollably and your mouth drops open in a keening whine. Joel keeps lapping at your clit long after your orgasm fades and you cry out from the overstimulation. Gently, you reach down to tug his hair, and he reluctantly pulls away. He’s so hard he can’t conjure much mental activity besides getting his dick wet.

Your chest is heaving as you try to pick your leg up and get off him, but your strength fails you. Instead, Joel grabs your hips and sits up, your cunt sliding down to sit on top of his erection. Experimentally, you grind down on him, watching a muscle in his jaw feather. “Are you going to let me take your pants off?” you ask him, teasing, your finger tracing the metal of his belt buckle.

He grits his teeth, letting you take control for a moment, sliding the belt achingly slow out of each loop. Your wicked little smile is so pretty in the darkness, illuminated briefly by passing patrol vehicles through the window. Unbuttoning his shirt, you dip your body low to his chest and press gentle kisses all the way down to his soft belly and the trail of hair disappearing under his waistband.

Joel moans brokenly when you shuck his jeans down his legs and squeeze his hard length before it can slap up against his stomach. There’s a tattoo on his inner thigh that you like to trace with your fingers, something he got with his brother when they were young. Your tongue darts out and licks up the precum pooling at his slit, making his cock twitch in your grasp. “Jesus,” he groans. “Baby, c’mon, let me—”

Your soft lips parting around the throbbing head of his cock destroy whatever end to the sentence he had planned. Squeezing his strong thighs to ground yourself, you swirl your tongue around the tip and take him deeper, your throat expanding to accommodate his thick, heavy weight in your mouth. He huffs, grumpy that he can't think straight for long enough to stop you and overcome with pleasure all the same. You squeeze his thigh again, your thumb rubbing circles over the little tattoo, and he meets your eyes. They're watery, blinking hard to expel the tears, his hand instinctively cradling the crown of your head to keep you on him, keep you choking around him.

When your nose meets the thatch of hair above his base, he’s the one who chokes, his head tipping back. “Jesus, fuck, goddamn—” His fingers curl in your hair and gently urge you off his cock; you pout, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his length. His dick jumps at the sight, lying hard on his stomach.

“Come up here,” he rasps. You do, crawling up his body until your hips are flush, his hardness slotted, thick and throbbing, between your folds. The hum that leaves your mouth is wanton, your teeth tugging at your bottom lip. His hands move to your lower back, digging into the flesh just above your ass so you’re forced to roll your hips along his shaft.

Your mouth drops open at the jolt of pleasure to your cunt. “Oh…”

“That’s it, baby.”

He cannot come inside you, but he can come like this. And he will, probably faster than he likes; your pretty lips parted, your eyes lidded and boring into his even as you grind along his cock, unwavering. You look good like this. You look happy and soft and all his.

Joel’s hands clutch you a little harder, roll you a little faster, your hands supporting your weight on his firm chest. He’s so fucking close, your wet pussy soaking his length and his tip catching on your sensitive clit with each roll of your hips, but he needs you to come again. You come first.

“Joel,” you sigh, your thighs locking tight around his hips, nectar and frosting and citrus.

“I know,” he says, “I know. Keep goin’, baby. C’mon. Doin’ so good. Jesus, so good.”

The first orgasm was a meticulous build-up. This one crashes down with the ceremony and courtesy of an ambush: it seizes your whole body and leaves you helpless. You moan his name—maybe you whisper it; everything is loud in your ears—and double over, your cheek pressed into the hollow of his throat. He keeps you moving, seeking his own high, bucking up against your cunt.

“That’s it.” His praises gently puff out across the top of your head, tucking your head under his chin, admiring the curve of your back and the supple taste of your skin under his fingers. His balls draw up and his core goes tight with imminent release. “Fuck, baby. Fuck—”

There’s a hot, wet splash against your belly, then another, and another. When you peel yourself away to watch his cum spurt onto his stomach, your cunt tightens with the pulsating rhythm of his shaft under you and another brief, but devastating, rush of pleasure surges through your whole body. It almost fucking knocks you over. You lift yourself off his cock in time to see a burst of wetness soak him, dribbling out around your bodies onto the mattress. Joel groans, his brows lifting, another spurt of cum landing on his belly.

“Jesus Christ.”

You list to the side, unable to hold yourself up in any capacity. You land next to him, your arm belted across his chest, fondly nudging a pec with your nose. “Me, too,” you mumble. Your voice is hollow.

Joel turns his head to face you, and you swipe some cum off his belly with your index and middle fingers, looking him in the eyes as you lick it up and swallow. He grabs you by the back of the neck and kisses you hard. “No fuckin’ FEDRA asshole,” he grumbles into your mouth, “is gettin’ anywhere near you. And neither is Robert.”

You forgot that was what this was about. “Joel,” you whisper, lips migrating from the corner of his mouth to his jaw, his scratchy beard, “you can’t keep me safe forever.”

He reaches around to grab your ass and then hitches your thigh up onto his hip. “Yeah, I fuckin’ can. Stay here.”

“We aren’t related, or married.” You pin him with a stare. “They would never let us.”

Joel lifts his brows. You roll your eyes. “We aren’t married.”

He’ll pick a fight in the morning. But you already know you won’t be going to see Robert about the battery with your big guard dog standing just behind you. Robert can suck it the fuck up, for all Joel cares.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he says, squeezing your thigh. “It was a shitty cupcake, though.”

You laugh, kissing him on the nose. “No, it wasn’t. For all you know, you may never have one again.”

“For the fuckin’ best,” he grumbles, chasing your mouth again. You let him kiss you, and neither of you get much sleep.

He really didn't mind the cupcake.

#kiwisbell's fics #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal fic

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beforeimdeceased · 6 months

Note

hey bae! if you’re still taking requests could i please have something fluffy with mean! ellie and sensitive/soft! reader. it can be whatever u want, loving the pink theme btw 🎀⭐️!

CRYBABY! - (E.W)

pairing: mean/cruel ellie x sensitive/emotional reader.

synopsis: you’ve had a seriously bad day, and now you’re stuck with the shittiest person you’ve ever met while you wait for your friends to get home.

a/n: thank u for acknowledging the theme! it took so long to put together 😭. also i really hope this fulfills your request. would you guys want a part 2 w/ smut this time?

“crybaby, crybaby. we need to cry. and if we do, i know that would be alright.” — edit

masterlist.

ellie fucking williams was an exceptional singer, guitarist, and had incredible stage presence. but more importantly: she was an asshole. a complete fucking dick, and not just the usual “too good for everyone” cocky. she was crude. she was vulgar and she knew exactly how to push people, you specifically. sometimes you thought that she walked around asking for a fight to prove herself to people. now, you think it’s so she can finally feel something. even if it’s a mind spinning jab at her face.

you did your best to stay away from her, despite you sharing friends; jesse and dina. you knew exactly how she was and you knew you couldn’t handle it. no matter how many times you tried to let her little remarks brush past you, you always found yourself wanting to go lower. and each time you were around her it got harder to bite your tongue.

today was a bad day. a shit day. one of your worst. you found fraudulent activity on your bank card, got hit with a frustratingly large and urgent bill, and your washing machine broke. all in the span of an hour. the customers at your job had been extra rude and to make matters worse, your manager yelled at you for a mistake you didn’t even make.

all you wanted to do was go over to dina & jesse’s and eat brownies while they treated you like the child they’d yet to have. dina rubbing your back and reassuring you that everything will be okay while jesse threatens to beat all your enemies bloody. you use the spare key you have to their apartment to messily trudge in, kicking your shoes off at the door and smiling as you open the fridge to find dina’s special 1,000 hour brownies.

“i keep telling her she should put weed in those.” echoes behind you, causing you to pause mid bite. there she is, leaning against the counter. eyes smudged with her signature stage eyeliner, sweat glistening on her skin, a tank top and her stage cargos sagging on her waist. gargling down a plastic water bottle that had definitely seen better days.

“where are dina and jesse?” you furrow your brows closing the fridge. you grab a napkin to place the brownie on, and move further back near the door away from her. just in case.

“they went to go grab some groceries, but they told me to stay here and wait for you.” she answers, finishing the bottle off.

fuck. how long were they going to be gone? you couldn’t imagine spending more than 2 minutes alone with this loose lipped devil. her eyes narrow as she looks you up and down before smiling. here she goes.

“bad day? cause it looks like it.”

“well it definitely isn’t going to get better with you around me.” you snap back.

“ouch. i’m hurt.” she laughs. deviously. a hand over her chest as she pushes off the counter to chuck the empty bottle into the trash can.

you move over to the living room, sitting yourself on the couch. maybe if you ignore her she’ll get bored and leave you alone? maybe she’ll get so bored she’ll actually leave. god, please get the fuck out of here.

she follows you though, sitting way too close for comfort and turning on the tv. you pull your phone out, immediately opening tumblr and mindlessly scrolling. hoping that dina and jesse will be home soon.

“d tells me you stopped showing up to gigs because of me. is that true?” she breaks the silence between you two. you shrug her off. “you’re not the easiest person to be around, williams.” you state.

“so what’s wrong with me? i’d love to hear it straight from the horses mouth.” she scoffs, scooting closer. when you attempt to ignore her she pulls your phone out of your hand. staring into your eyes with her very own. piercing through your soul for a response. “is it because i called you an idiot?”

“among other things, but it doesn’t surprise me that that’s all you remember.” you reach for your phone but she pulls it back. this causes you to pinch her, and she smacks your hand away still holding your phone back. “remind me then.”

you feel her taunting tone. her want— need to push at you. to push your buttons and boundaries until you break. it’s like a game to her, and you certainly weren’t in the mood for it today.

“can you give me my phone so i can find out when dina and jesse are coming home?” you sigh. her behavior reminded you of a customer you’d had earlier who’d treated you like garbage because you weren’t smiling. you felt tears welling up but pushed them down. you never cried in front of ellie. because of her, maybe, but never to her face. you’d never live it down.

“can you answer my question? so i can apologize or whatever. d is really on my ass about it.”

you scoff. “ofcourse you aren’t genuinely sorry. you probably don’t even remember all the fucked up shit you say and do to people. half of the time you ignore me and the other half you treat me like i’m a burden. do you remember when you guys had your first real show? i told the security i knew you and you pretended like i was a stranger.”

“jesse was sooo pissed you didn’t show up.” she laughs. “did he yell at you?”

“yeah. thought i was lying because you told him i was. called me a shit friend and a liar until i showed him proof. why am i the only one you treat like this?”

“you’re definitely not the—“ you reach for your phone again, but she’s quicker than you. pushing you away and laughing at your lockscreen, which was a picture you’d taken of yourself. one you felt incredibly confident in. all of that confidence was withering away slowly and you could guess it’d only been 10 minutes. “only one.”

“that’s so much worse. seriously, i don’t have time for this today. i’ll just go home.” you sniffle and fail to hide it. the tears were in the back of your throat and you felt like her personal rag doll all over again. what you’d finally gotten away from the last week was haunting you all over again. her taunting, her rudeness. she knew what she was doing and she didn’t even care.

“are you gonna cry? am i making you cry?”

you gulp, biting your lip to fight the shakiness in your voice. “just give it back.” is all you can muster up. her arm stretches up and as you reach for it she tucks it in her back pocket and sits on it.

you feel the tears begin to spill out of your eyes and you quickly turn around and lean into the couches arm. hands over your face as you pathetically attempt to calm yourself. you feel a hand on your shoulder and you push it away before realizing it’s ellie handing you back your phone.

it takes you a couple blinks, convinced the tears have obstructed your vision. the very same ellie who’d tripped you in front of a crowd of people last month, was being nice? her face has softened, genuine concern replacing the taunting gaze she previously had. she places a hand on your back and shushes you.

“i’m sorry. i’ve never made you cry before, i’m sorry.” she speaks softly. she almost seems…confused? is this what it takes to get her to realize that what she does actually fucking hurts you? for you to break down in front of her? for her to get a peek at the silent nights you’d spent sobbing over another one of her “jokes”? all this time?

you wipe your eyes and begin to laugh, which startles her and causes her to lean back. “you’re such an ass, ellie. god, you’re such a fucking dick.” you shake your head and breathe. she doesn’t respond, just stares at you with concern. brows furrowed as she concentrates on your body language. the way you’re leaning closer towards her.

“today was such a bad day.” you cry out in frustration, dipping your head into her lap. you just lay there, sobbing. she doesn’t move you, but instead rubs your back. shushing you. whispering that it’ll be okay, and you’d never admit it because it was coming from her, but you really needed it in that moment.

she pulled you in closer to her, turning you onto your side so she can rub her thumb across your cheek. wiping some of your tears away. you begin to cry even harder, but she doesn’t push you away. even when her pants are soaked and snotty. she lets you lay there, and cry into her.

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dduane · 6 months

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I apologize if this sounds rude; that is not my intention. I’ve never read your work, and started following you on Tumblr because I like your posts. If I wanted to start reading your work, what do you feel is a good starting point? And if that’s not easy to answer, then which of your works is your favorite to recommend? Thank you.

You're not being rude at all! The last I heard, not knowing anything about my books hasn't yet been made a hanging offense. :)

Where to start is kind of a "what's your reading preference?" question.

If you like magic (though with a strongly scientific bent to it) and stories mostly set in the so-called Real World we inhabit, the Young Wizards books are a good bet. (As a general point of information, because sometimes people do get confused: the YW series began a decade and a half before that other series about wizards, and has absolutely nothing in common with it except characters in their teens.) Officially they're considered MG or YA, but adult readers seem to find a fair bit more meat on the books' bones than the classifications routinely imply. Try starting with So You Want To Be A Wizard and see how that works for you. There are now ten books in the main sequence of that series, as well as some interstitial works and one non-main sequence novel.

If you like fantasy in the adult mode, and/or enjoy LGBTQ content, the Middle Kingdoms works, starting with The Door Into Fire, are a good bet. Fire is where I got my first award nominations, and the initial trilogy scored a Gaylactic Spectrum Award in 2000. (Adding here the normal qualifier that appears on our ebook store's pages: "These books contain adult / mature themes and situations set in a sexually diverse and inclusive culture." Because there are people who're used to thinking of me exclusively as a YA writer, due to being unfamiliar with the series that came first.)

If you like science fiction, you might have a look at my Star Trek novels. Those have been positively spoken of for some years now, possibly because I insisted on treating them as SF and not as space opera. :)

I've also done a lot of licensed work here and there: a trio of Spider-Man novels, an X-Men novel, works in Tom Clancy's Net Force universe. ...And I could go on, but maybe it'd be more helpful if you wander over to the master list of fifty or so novels at my website and see what takes your fancy.

Anyway, thanks for asking! And thanks for the nice words. :)

#Diane Duane #novels

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 2 months

Text

pt IV doctor who but i've never watched it but i know loads about it for sure

It's half past 4 am and I definitely remember everything that you maggots yelled at me about this show I definitely do

There is a slutty head preserved in a jar that had many babies

There is a Doctor who was an OG doctor and his name was Wren or something no WILF RIGHT YES SOMEONE SAID THE DILF THE MILF AND THE HOLY WILF

Michael Sheen is a sexy planet with a mouth

Neil Gaiman wrote some episodes and it was very cool I think he made Michael Sheen the sexy planet

David Tennant I know you all love David Tennant well FUCKING HERE THEN TUMBLR DAVID TENNANT

There are time lords and they are the doctor and everyone was very cross when I asked that because apparently y'all periodically forget you follow me because im dumb

It's like gay or something at some point

Andrew Garfield is a dentist who gets flirted with like you too babygirl or whatever the 10th doctor says

Oh yeah the doctors are the doctor but there are 14 of them and they all go poof and then boom new actor except for 14 where david tennant re-emerges YEAH TUMBLR HEAR THAT I SAID DAVID TENNANT

oh and THEN the fifteenth doctor arrives but he fucking girlbosses a bigeneration and so escapes trauma or something and you all get to keep david tennant YEAH I SAID HIS NAME IF THIS HELLSITE HAD AN ALGORITHM THIS POST WOULD BE TRENDING SO QUICK ISTG

Oh the TARDIS is blue and not fucking yellow sometimes my brain gaslights me and also it can be anything it is a tree but it is a police box because it wants to be due to a glitch that the doctor hasnt fixed coz hes too busy hanging out with donna or being gay or being trans which as I know from experience are both full-time occupations

Theres like an intro or something it goes DOOWEEDOOOO and when i mentioned it people started singing it in the reblogs so like nostaglia hit ig

DAAAAAAAAAAVID TENNANT YOU HERE ME TUMBLR COME AND GET YOUR DAVID TENNANT HE FOUND HIS WIFE HERE YES HE DID HIS FATHER-IN-LAW WAS A DOCTOR YES HE WAS HIS DAUGHTER WAS THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER BUT THEN DAVID'S WIFE SO IDK GO SLAY GEORGIA

10th doctor is kinda bitchboy and we love him for that apparently

12th doctor is girlbossing prideful or maybe it was 11th or 9th WHO'S THE ONE WHO CALLS THE POTATO A POTATO

There are rhinos and they're police they're called Zookas and they transform people into something for their sins

I think it was the rhinos but someone looks like gollum had sex with a dead horse and got impregnated

There's a potato dude (gn)

There's a Meep and Meep's pronouns are Meep which is fab

There's a dude named Harry in the original doctor who

Shitty effects are beloved here

Someone installed a ramp on the tardis

there is someone named rose and the 9th doctor did something with a timeline and lost her to another 9th doctor and everyone's sad about it coz he knew he couldnt give her the life or something

Rose is kissy smoochie with doctor

Donna noble is played by catherine tate who knows less about the show than i do (which isnt saying much clearly im an expert)

The doctor is not actually a doctor it's something about yelling DOCTOR and they say DOCTOR WHO and it's like FUCK YEAH BABA GRIL NAMEDROP

Is this show title a knock knock joke like Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Yes now let me in.

one last time for you sluts DAVID TENNNANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

you're welcome.

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qoeww · 2 years

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Hello! Hope I'm not bothering you with anything but.

But can I request a Hc of the turtle brothers with a Dragon Mutant s/o who is actually their biological Mom.

Like one of brother's broke their weapon and asked splinter how to fix it and he just casually says "Your mother might know" and just walks away causing the brother's to be shock to have a mom, oh and when the turtles immediately try and look for their Mom they think she's a sweet old Mama turtle but she's actually a noble Dragon mutant living in hidden city who owns a mystic arts dojo.

Again I hope I'm not bothering you with this request and I hope you have a great day/night/afternoon.

TURTLE BROS WITH DRAGON MOM

Warning: Nothing

Character: Turtle Bros

Author: Hello anon, I am deeply sorry I wrote so late. I just slept while writing and boom Tumblr didn't save it (slayy... No not slayy-) so sorry I hope you like it <3

Brothers always had no problem following the rules

Like except this time and other 741 times

Everybody can make mistakes chill

They touched something that they shouldn't have and now the ground was full of shards

"Dad not gonna notice it, relax guys." But you could hear his voice was shaking

"Yes, he will. 91 percent of the time he noticed things he shouldn't have noticed."

"But we still have 9 percent huh?"

"Ok, ok we need a plan. We shouldn't make dad noti-"

"DAD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!"

"MIKEY!"

Raph quickly shuts Mikey's mouth

"Oh hey dad, Mikey was gonna tell... Uh-"

"Move on big one, I can't watch my favorite ad."

"Oh ok..?"

Leo steps forward, leans to Splinter

"Well, dad how can we fix something... Holy? Yeah, I guess kinda holy."

"Yeah and definitely we didn't do anything."

Raph hits Donnie's back of the head

"Auch- I didn't even say anything!"

Well, Splinter had enough, his boys don't let him watch ad marathon

So he just throws them to their mother

"Mom? You mean Big Mama?"

"No other one."

Other one. OTHER ONE?!

Everybody is screaming in chaos

Splinter writes your address and kicks them from home

Yeah, 9 percent chance happened and Splinter didn't notice anything

While they are walking to your home, bros trying to imagine how you look like

"She definitely looks like us! Maybe she knows how to make pizza too, April's mom knows it."

"Yeah, maybe she is an old lady like... This tall?"

"Or maybe she left us without saying anything."

Leo notices the mood of the conversation getting cold, so he just searches for something to break this mood

"Look guys! We are here!"

"Ok, who is gonna 'nock the door?"

"I vote for Raph."

"Me too."

"Damn it. I knew it." He starts smelling bad because of stress and doesn't want to meet his own mother smelling like a seafood

Raph tries to knock on the door but wow hah- he is so anxious so he literally punches it to the floor

"Wow, how strong man you are."

DRAGON?

RAPH

Ok, first of all he forgets how he embarrassed after seeing his own mom

At first he can't talk, he wants to but brain is refusing

He tries to explain who are them

Even if his brothers keep interrupting

He hugs you slowly, doesn't know where to put his hands

After some time he gets comfortable with you and comes to your place so often

Drinking tea after some lessons is his favorite way to spend time with you

Like he is angry at his brothers or he just wanna see you, he comes to drink tea

Sometimes he just sits and starts venting about how disappointment as a leader

You are here to rub his shell and tell it it's not the truth

Btw you are his new role model fighter

He is willing to take lessons after meeting you

He likes your hugs, he knows you are not like his family with no soft skin. So he can hug you how much he wants

This boy just loves his new mom

LEO

This guy is shaking because of excitement

He is the one who interrupts Raph the most among them

He is trying to act cool, and wanna show how he looks good to his mom

But he gets emotional very quickly

He'll push all your brothers and sit next to you

And tell you all the things you don't even need to know

After getting a real mom-son relationship he will talk about his feelings to you more than anyone

Because sometimes brothers and dad aren't the best choices to talk about "boring" things

Now it is time to show his favorite movie series to his mom

Well, the show causes blood spurting from your eye but after seeing how Leo is happy because he can share his interest with his parent, you decide not to talk

He will act like a child going to daycare and doesn't want to leave her mother

"Ok, ok you can go first. I have very very very serious things to talk about with mom. Not you Donnie."

And you two play UNO

DONNIE

He doesn't know what to feel

Like he is angry and happy at the same time

He just doesn't wanna hug you until why you didn't show up

His heart is broken like you were just sitting dojo for years and not searching for them

He didn't even know he had a mother

Well after learning your logical reason, he slowly starts talking about everything

You earned his trust and love

He just wanna show and make you understand how perfect he is

But after telling how cool he is, his eyes get wet

Well, at home nobody says something like that because they are used to it

"DID YOU HEAR THAT MICHEAL?"

After your praise he starts working more

He's not someone who likes physical affection anyway, but he really needs time to hug you.

Donnie likes when you watch him while working, yes it is kinda stressing but he feels proud

You come to his room and give him a fruit plate while he is working new invention

"Mom, I can't eat while working."

"No."

MIKEY

THİS İS SO SWEET

You look so sweet, he runs to you and hugs you

You didn't even remember him, who is that child??

But after remembering who were, your heart is quickly warming up to Mikey

He will not ask why you didn't show up, this is not the right time to ask

He will spend now the time he couldn't spend in other years

You two gonna hold hands and wander through all the side streets of the hidden city

Mikey gonna draw you so much, that you can hear the sound of his pencil rubbing against the paper next to you while meditating

The next day he sees his picture framed on the wall

His mother is so lovely and cool, why dad didn't talk about her?

Maybe you broke up not very friendly

He will here to fix that

FAMILY DINNER TIME!

Even Draxum is here

I hope that night ends well 🙏

#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #rottmnt #rottmnt headcanons #tmnt headcanons #donatello x reader #leonardo x reader #raphael x reader #michelangelo x reader #mikey x reader #donnie x reader #leo x reader #raph x reader

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damazcuz · 2 months

Text

I've only had this account for about 5 years now. But I've been on tumblr for 13 years, since I was 16 and just starting to learn who I was, what transgender meant, what the world looked like at the time for a group I was swiftly realizing included me.

And for 13 years I have consistently used this site and stayed on, occasionally blog hopping when things felt stale or if things got bad. And things got bad sometimes. You'd get people calling you nasty things in your ask or replies or reblogs or tagging your username to sic their followers on you. And tumblr has always treated targeted harassment as a "Sorry you feel that way. That's not against tos though! Was this answer helpful?" issue whenever it's reported. They've never cared against abuse on their website, IN THE EXCEPTION of cases in which radfems and nazis have maliciously mass reported users for MAYBE hitting their breaking points and MAYBE snapping and saying something stupid that could be used as an excuse. Could be something today or four years ago in your archive but at some point, you had a bad day and posted something that could make tumblr say finally, we can get rid of a pest! or you were just transgender and said as much. A little too loudly in front of the wrong mod.

And this sounds so silly to say. But when you live in a website for 13 years and it's where you have your primary interactions with so many people and where you've met so many of your friends! It starts to feel like your community. Like an apartment building we all live in and visit each other's apartments and talk and decorate and laugh and play. And it's a bit of a dump and we all laugh about the crumbling peeling wallpaper and the slumlord that runs the place. We know the landlord isn't our friend, they just want us to pay rent until we're no good for it anymore. Produce the posts that make this site anything more than a hate forum, make the memes and the art and the posts that end up everywhere from your little sister's pinterest to your mom's Facebook to your uncle's meme subreddit. Keep up the garden and don't pile trash on the curb or you're out. This is "the queerest place on the net" only because queer people live here and hung on with our fingernails to stay here because if you have to leave, what's your fallback? You like your neighbors. They can't all come with you. They won't. Even the kind of crumbly parts feel like home after a while.

Like I want to clarify that Tumblr's reputation as a funny place to chill and scroll and meet people and see new things is not from the transphobes working on staff. Their job is to turn a profit or at least keep it LOOKING profitable, so the site can sell to the next moron to buy it out. The fun and joy of Tumblr is us. WE made this place. When you tear down our decorations and rip out our furnishings and toss us out on the street and look at what's left to show the next prospective tenant, it's a fucking dump. There is nothing left but the shittiest people in our neighborhood who are allowed to stay and make hate posts about us. There's the framework for "someone could make pretty posts here! It's a fixer upper!" But it's shit. It sucks.

I've been spiraling since yesterday over a couple of things I'm not taking well. One is work. "They can't fire us all!" I always joke. And people laugh. Last night my boss and I spent an hour and a half in this miserable fucking meeting, talking about the pressure pushing down on our load bearing team. We fantasized over all 8 of us being able to say "that's enough. I'm better than this. We are all walking out today and we will not come back. Don't text." And we can't. None of us can lose the stability of a full time job that pays kind of okay even though it's killing you. None of us can face that uncerainty. I left with chest pain. It was my first day back after major surgery. I went home and sat in one spot for over six hours almost unmoving, crying and just in disbelief of how unfair it is. We can't leave. But something has to give before my team dissolves and one of us puts a gun in their mouth. And then we all still have to make our shift. Who else will do all that? Who's going to cover, huh? Clock in.

And I spent the rest of my day, which ran to 4 am before I was able to sleep, wishing I could quit and hating what's happening on tumblr just as much. On a fucking blogging platform. Because this has been my fun sandbox for over a decade and it's always kind of sucked, it's full of cat shit and people throw sand at you and you're getting sunburned but it's fun here. You find your people to play with. And then it's like you remember oh yeah, other people here want me dead. The owner of this place wants me to die. He wants everyone that makes this place cool and fun to die. And he'll turn around and say "yeeeah well you shouldn't have joked about being mean to me." And it's like why am I here! Why am I making posts for YOU?

I can't leave employment. I'm only a couple of weeks, maybe a couple months away from homelessness at any given time, with how tight finances are. "Shoestring budget" would be generous. We're making it through sheer force of will. But I can't quit my job, and neither can anyone else.

But I can leave this place that I've hated and loved for so, so long. The other massive drain on my life that wants to see me shrivel and die. I can get up and go. We could all just go. Mass exodus. And I know it won't happen. Give it a week, ten days. People move along. Yeah, that sucked. Well, here we all still are. Still posting. Still tumbling. Still complaining about the landlord. But most people won't leave. How can you walk on your friends and community, knowing they won't all follow? But how do you continue to stay here watching this happen? I'm already listening to people tell me "so? that doesn't affect me. it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. and of course this happened, duhhhh." It's like, feel stupid for getting comfortable here. You should feel stupid for settling in and making it a home and thinking it would be fun here. If you are transgender you are not safe and you are not wanted. Not in the queerest place on the web, either.

It's not about the funny hammer car explosion """threat.""" It was never about the hammer car explosion. That was a dogwhistle through a megaphone to transphobes. Tumblr's darlings. Don't worry. I'll take care of this one that thinks she can speak up against me. And against you. And now there's a defined "REASON" for the ban. Why, Matt hardly knew he was banning a trans woman. All he knew was fear! He had no choice! And you can ignore the ACLU and the claims of systemic transphobia, that's something else. We fixed that!

I want this place to die because it is already rotting. We are scraping at the bones at this point. Walls are crumbling and there's a hole in the floor to the room below and the windows have long been knocked out and the boiler hasn't worked in years. They aren't going to fix it. It has never been the intention to fix it. They want you to leave or die. Whichever. Don't matter. Just get lost. I will find another tenant. I will find another person who will give me more ad revenue. You are replaceable in that sense. Someone else will join tumblr tomorrow. And tumblr will make a buck off them instead.

But they cannot replace the ways in which you and I have made this site livable and bearable and fun. And I want us to leave so that the husk of this place can collapse and blow away in the wind. I want tumblr to take a major hit and I want the loss of ad revenue to HURT THEM. I want a mad scramble to figure out how to fix it all. They can't. They won't. The fix has always been there and it's always been refused. Terfs will never be turned away from tumblr. Neither will nazis. "Sorry you feel that way, but that's not against our tos. Was this answer helpful?"

You know how they say, "it there are ten people at a table and one is a nazi and no one stands up, you have ten nazis"? This feels like that to me. If 20,000 of us wait a week, shrug, and resume joking and playing and say, well, yeah, it's sad that another dozen trans fems were banned last night. But I like it here...

It feels like that. Why are my trans sisters' archives of 5, 10+ years of life and joy being wiped clean? I can't even tell you how many posts I've seen from an op whose url I recognize from last week, but whose username is grey and icon default, because she posted something less than a day ago to say "yo this sucks. Fuck this place and fuck this guy." They've never ever found the terfs and nazis to ban them because they DON'T CARE. Those are the ones they prefer. That they cater to. Post about the ceo being a dumbfuck and in 12 hours, risk losing your community and the ability to look back at your life online. Clean slate. As if you never lived there. Oh, but tumblr isn't a transphobic place. We fired the one and only naughty transphobe on staff who was taking bribes to send out bans. Pay to win moderation. That person's gone. So it's okay and you don't need to worry. It's okay, I promise. It's the queerest place on the web. Get comfortable.

I love my job and I love this place. One of them is going to push me to the edge. But I can choose to leave one. You can choose to leave with me. They can't fire us all.

#and i know that i am preaching halfway to the choir and halfway to deaf ears.#you either already care or you don't.#this either affects you a lot or not at all.#you'll either walk out or you'll clock back in and get back to it.#fuck though man. something has to give or it's going to snap. you know?#and frankly i just don't want to play here right now. it sucks a lot.#and it sounds like it's going to start sucking a whole lot more very quickly.#i hope the hellsite explodes. i hope the hammers go everywhere.#have a good night and all.#see you tomorrow or whatever.

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landinrris · 3 months

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i have a question to cleanse your mind from that young royals hot mess on twitter. do you think norrix may in fact be real and if it is when do you think it became real? and if not do you think it might ever become real? my own view is they've not acted on anything right now and would say they're only very good friends if asked and are most likely even still hooking up with women but there are feelings much stronger than normal friends bc well it's crystal clear that it's not a normal friendship but a fair chunk deeper than that like a soul connection or something as an anon said the other day. but i don't know if they'll ever get up the courage to act on it. my projection clearly as we'll never really know how they feel if they don't act on it and go public but they come across like of two of my friends who so clearly care for each other in a non-platonic way and are joined at the hip every opportunity and are physically affectionate with one another but never did anything about it so far at least from what we all know anyway and only one has recently come out as not straight. though i guess even having that deep love even if it remains platonic is a special thing regardless. was wondering what your take on it is if you don't mind being public about that.

Okay, so here's the thing. I'm very hesitant to speculate in an open space about someone's sexuality where anyone can see it. (Sometimes I really wish Tumblr's search function didn't catch literally everything, but whatever). I don't know, I have really complicated feelings on the matter in general because I recognize things from my own life, but nothing is universal etc etc. And maybe I blur the lines on my blog a bit, but at the end of the day, the plausible deniability side, and the side that doesn't really know any of the people I post about, will lean towards these relationships not being real in the romantic sense.

That being said, I will gladly address this question from a more "fictionalized" viewpoint using things that have actually happened. It might be counter-intuitive to write like that, but it hasn't stopped me yet because I am not them, so it's default fiction.

In one of the things I'm writing that utilizes real-world timelines, I have them kind of getting together following the Spa 2023 gig when Lando goes back to Amsterdam and posts the photo to his Insta Story from Martin's balcony. All the feelings from the past year build up until they can't hold them back anymore.

The reason I think Spa (besides the fact that the aforementioned picture kills me), is that following it, and even the event itself really, Lando largely stops posting their meetups on his social media. Someone else brought to my attention that after New York and Canada, McLaren also largely stopped posting content of the two of them. As compared to Miami where there was plenty of content of Martin hanging around Lando's driver's room.

So New York/Canada happens with "Real Love." Then Spa happens with Lando and Max flying into the show and Lando going back to Amsterdam. Lando specifically realizes then that if he wants to avoid scrutiny and rumors and gossip as much as possible, he has to let the psycho girl rumors go wild while he flies under the radar with privacy and avoids advertising who he's with. Hence, a tangible lack of material from both him and McLaren for the rest of the season when Martin is present.

The ski trip is the exception because I think the ski trip is special. Especially because Martin was nowhere near France prior to it. Lando says, fuck it, for a brief moment and posts the photos he wants to post.

But then we have winter break and go back to both of them being very quiet when they're together. Martin gets to post the proof that they've been together while Lando keeps his profile meticulously bare of anyone but himself. The fact that Martin was back in Amsterdam for ~8 hours and posted 3-4 things says a lot. But he's quiet again, now that he's somewhere snowy while Lando's plans of Finland seemingly grow nearer.

They're not sure if they'll ever broadcast anything, but maybe they'll work back up to posting like they used to pre-New York where they were much more likely to show up on one of their Stories at the least.

So, in my world, yes it's happened, and this is why I think so.

In the real, tangible world, who knows. Whatever their relationship is clearly means a great deal to them both. If it's purely platonic, if there's a legitimate romantic element, or if they just sit there and pine for the next few years, I hope they're happy and content they have one another. Finding people you click with that quickly and genuinely is a special thing.

#this got long so i shoved it under a read-more #i am 100% all for unironically tin-hatting in DMs once we establish we're on the same page but it feels a little different in a public post #to speak matter of fact and concretely #ask #lando #martin #norrix #writing tag

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igglemouse · 2 months

Text

Song of the Day! New Music Friday!

youtube

I realized something...this year will be my 10th...yes, 10th year here. I'll probably make a post about it later but it has given me a thought.

I've been here a long time! I feel like a simblr elder, not sure if that is a good or bad thing but...I am surprised to have been here for so long now that I think on it. Even through some times where I wanted to quit. Each time I restarted my legacy was a moment where I felt like just quitting, except the one with the technical issues. Especially that time where a simblr I was very close mutuals with just stop interacting with me and then blocked me. It was very odd. It always made me feel like someone was saying something about me behind my back which was also odd since...I literally just post my stuff here, reblog other stuff, and try to keep positive energy. I remember thinking at the time, was it something I had done? I couldn't figure out why, I'm socially awkward so I thought maybe that was it...

When I started this simblr, nearly ten years ago, I was not in a good place. I was dealing with pretty bad depression, medicated, suicidal, the whole bit. I might have mentioned that over the years here, I doubt it because I'm pretty guarded, but I think back on it posting was the best thing I could have done then. It was a fun escape and knowing that people saw some value in my writing, even if just a little bit, really helped and it pushed me more and more into writing, which was a good thing. It was something I could focus on. I discovered through this that I have this ability to write and write a lot and here I could play out any story idea I had and I've always had so many come and go.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this one! Sometimes, I just have a thought and it turns into something longer. I would say I'll be here ten years longer but honestly who knows?! I think that's more on tumblr than myself lol as I do love tumblr but I hope there's a better platform in that time to migrate to.

I will say, to all the people that complimented me. That said I inspired them to do this or that, reached out to me, to even those that complimented my writing. Even those that did so and seemed really into my stories until just randomly unfollowing and ignoring me...well, no take backs! I've absorbed all the nice and positive thoughts. Not that they would be reading this any way lol.

So, I guess if you wonder "Why does she keep saying stuff like that!" I guess that's why, maybe its being dramatic but since tumblr/simblr played such a big role in me writing in general I know it meant a lot to me when people have shown me love in any kind of way. Taking things a day at a time is also important to my mental I guess that's why I've always tried to post daily. It's something I've been told years ago to always look forward to something tomorrow and keeping my little legacies going is one small thing in my life that has been pretty consistent.

So yeah! Ten years here will be a cool achievement! If I have the time and have the health maybe ten more years! I feel like even if I became a millionaire I'd still be posting >.< and that millionaire thing is ahem...might be a possibility...life is much better for me now then when I started doing this!

OH! For those new followers, sorry, I do this like 2-4 times a month. I do used my SOTD posts for venting, ranting, talking, whatever!

Also Maria and Araceli tomorrow!

It's always too early to quit. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

#song of the day #Youtube

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admirableadmiranda · 1 year

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Hi!! Love your blog (actually your blog and a few others were the reason I remade a tumblr account haha)! I had a maybe dumb question: I've seen a lot of fanwork stating wen qing was from a branch side of the Wen family and was wondering if that was novel canon? I know in cql there's the dafan wen but it's even in novel only works sometimes so I was wondering if I missed something x) like in the lan family both ljy and lsz are stated to be part of the main family line so being wrh's niece should be enough to be a part of the main wen line too, shouldn't it?

Hi! Thank you so much for the lovely complement. <3

It's not a dumb question, honestly it's so saturated in fandom that it's hard to really make the connection here especially with people forgetting that if you're a part of the main family, you share the name. But yes, she's still a part of the main family. It's just huge. Here's the passage in question that lays that out, and then I'll lay out the two that people usually use to claim that they're not really a part of the Wen family just to see what we're working with.

"Wen Qing could be considered a famous cultivator of the QishanWen Sect. She wasn’t a daughter of the QishanWen Sect’s leader, Wen RuoHan, but instead the daughter of one of Wen RuoHan’s cousins. Although they were far cousins, Wen RuoHan had always had a close relationship to this cousin of his. On top of that, Wen Qing was exceptional in the liberal arts and studied medicine as well. She was a talent, and thus she was rather favored by Wen RuoHan. She often followed Wen RuoHan to the banquets of the QishanWen Sect, which was why Wei WuXian found her face familiar."

Chapter 60: Poisons Part 5

So the book is pretty explicit at this point that she is definitely related to him, and even if it's not a close relationship by blood, she has grown up around him and knows him well because he and her father were very emotionally close and as a result, she's favored by him too.

Of course we can't choose who we're related to, and it's clear even in the same chapter that she very much does not like or approve of what he's doing and she's fighting back in her own way as safely as she can without compromising either her people or especially her brother, but the point stands that she is related to him and not in a questionable way. That Wen in her name is not just for show, she is a part of the family with enough power to do things like hide some fugitives and act strangely without it being questioned.

Now, as for the justifications of them being a distant branch that isn't related, it usually comes down to these two passages:

"Another guest cultivator stood up, “Of course it’s different. The Wen-dogs did all kinds of evil. To arrive at such an end is only karma for them. We only avenged a tooth for a tooth, letting them taste the fruit that they themselves had sown. What’s wrong with this?”

Wei WuXian, “Take revenge on the ones who bite you. Wen Ning’s branch doesn’t have much blood on their hands. Don’t tell me that you find them guilty by association?”"

- Chapter 72: Recklessness Part 1

Here we have Wei Wuxian saying that Wen Ning's branch doesn't have much blood on their hands. But that's less of a branch that isn't related to Wen Ruohan and more the idea that if you have three brothers, each of whom have three sons, and each of those sons have three sons, you usually mark who is descended from who by a branch. They are still a part of the main Wen family, just descended from a particular line, denoted by Wen Ning being the current male heir to it, hence why Wei Wuxian is able to connect it.

A good argument indeed about their relative innocence in the Sunshot Campaign, but not about how connected they are to the clan. As we saw above, that distance did not stop Wen Ruohan and their father from being close, nor did it stop him from later being close with his niece.

Then here's the other one where I notice the tail response from LXC is often left off...

"Lan XiChen responded a moment later, “I have heard of Wen Qing’s name a few of times. I do not remember her having participated in any of the Sunshot Campaign’s crimes.”

Nie MingJue, “But she’s never stopped them either.”

Lan XiChen, “Wen Qing was one of Wen RuoHan’s most trusted people. How could she have stopped them?”"

- Chapter 73: Recklessness part 2

Even though she's a distant cousin, that doesn't stop them from being close to Wen Ruohan and his branch. They're still associated together multiple times.

The long and short of it is I believe there are two reasons why this tends to come up.

The first one is people who struggle with understanding the nature of clans and family and end up taking the people who make the clan of the unique Dafan Wen branch as canon as well, even though in CQL itself, there is never actually a distinction made of where they are from and if they are completely divorced from Wen Ruohan and anything he did. It likely started as shorthand from lacking the novel term Wen Remnants and eventually took on a life of its own.

The other is that people tend to struggle with the idea that not everyone up with Wei Wuxian that he rescued might have been involved in some way in the war and not as entirely innocent as they could have been. They carefully ignore the part where she's mentioned as being close to him, they fall back on the lines of not doing much damage and Wen Ning's branch and come up with the answer that they were not involved in the war at all, that they were all perfectly innocent innocents who never held a sword and erase the nuance of Wei Wuxian protecting them. That shouldn't be as relevant as it is, the point of it all is that they are no longer in war and regardless of what they did, the manner in which they are being treated is unjust. Wei Wuxian takes anyone who's willing to ride away with him.

The fact of the matter is that we know it is likely they did not do much in the war, but they wouldn't have been able to escape it entirely. The fact of the matter is that they are still a part of the main clan and those who escape are named and referred to by the narration as The Remnants Of The Wen Clan, the family. Wen Ning is a part of it, Wen Qing is a part of it, Wen Yuan is a part of it. They are not some mystical branch that's so far unrelated that they have no connection but a similar sounding name, they were a part of the family when it was great and they are still a part of the family when it is fallen.

In this case, branch is because the Wen family is huge. So are at least three of the Five Great Clans. We can't speak with any certainty on the Nie as they're less focused on, and the Jiang we know to be down to Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng because they are the only two in the family that they can send to the indoctrination camp, but the Lan have six boys all the same age who wear the family headband, meaning that there must be at least five families all with the name Lan who were able to have a child in the same year, and even in the Jin we know of Jin Zixun being born from Jin Guangshan's sibling, and also later a Jin Chan who is not connected to any named character, but is still a Jin who is picking on Jin Ling. They are all still a part of the main family, just lower down in the line of succession for Clan Leader. That's all that it means.

I hope this helped answer your question!

#mdzs #wei wuxian #wen qing #wen ning #wen ruohan #asks #wen clan #just because they aren't directly his children or niece and nephew does not mean they aren't a part of his family #and that is very relevant to a lot of what goes down on all sides #and shouldn't be forgotten or erased in the discussions

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fizzingwizard · 3 months

Text

joking with bf about tumblr and realized I don't understand what people get out of social media anymore - like at all.

My first real "social media" was myspace. It was short-lived. But I liked that (back then) you had your own page, you filled it out with your information, you had your music and banners etc. Not so many images back then, but the point was your page was yours. Customizing your own space was fun.

Then I moved on to livejournal which was even more self-involved. You had your journal that was just yours. You could put anything in it, anything you wanted, and it wouldn't go away unless you chose to delete it. But other people could look at it and interact with you in the comments. And you could join communities where you'd meet other people with similar interests, which would then lead them to visit your journal and you to visit them.

When lj tanked I moved to tumblr, where once again, I have my own space, I can talk about whatever I want, people can choose to interact with me if they feel like it, plus there are visuals and video and a feed which delivers new posts from people I follow. It's easier than ever to just explore, meet people with similar interests, and make connections, while cultivating my own journal/scrapbook that is a record of myself over the years.

It seems to me that self-involved element just isn't interesting to many people anymore. Even though Instagram and Tiktok are definitely very invested in the self! I guess the argument is probably that no one reads text posts anyway, the best way is to post video or images and at most have a short quick to read blurb attached at the bottom. But the attraction of text posts, for me, was never the idea that other people were going to read them. It was simply self-expression. The enjoyment of talking about what's going on with me and working through it. It's nice to get comments, but sometimes the comments, well, make you feel worse, especially on a personal post.

On fandom posts I hoped for notes, but in general I liked to stew in anonymity. I thought about having separate blogs for fandom posts and personal ones. But you know why I didn't? Because I like going to someone's blog and seeing more there than just their art or fanfiction. I like knowing a thing or two about their lives. Not so I can judge them. Because it makes them feel real, relatable, like a friend. Someone I'm not meant to worship for their skill, but appreciate and support, by my own choice, as part of a community. When there's no info at all and it's just a fandom blog, it feels commercial to me. I'm always relieved when a fandom blog links to their personal blog, although I also find that much more jarring than if everything's just in one place and searchable by tags.

These days everyone tells me to be on Discord, Tiktok, or Instagram. But in none of those places can I develop my own personal space the way I like to. I can't even find groups with similar interests on them. Maybe some exist, but if they do they're nowhere near as easy to find as they used to be. When I was in my twenties I could always find people to chill with, no matter how tiny the fandom was. Now the point is to have a sleek, clean, specific persona so people know immediately what you're selling (even when no actual money is involved). You're selling art, you're selling fanfiction, you're selling meta, you're selling activism, you're selling witticisms. That's all great. And what we've all known, even since the days of myspace, is that what doesn't sell is personal posts. Talk about yourself = followers walk away. There's nothing for them here. Multi-fandom blog? Yeah but I only like one fandom you do, so clearly we have nothing in common and shouldn't interact. Lol. Honestly there are so many people here on tumblr I'd like to interact with, except when I visit their blogs they seem like they wouldn't want to interact with me. I'm only a little bit cottagecore, not 100% cottagecore. I sometimes post about books, but sometimes about anime. So the book-lovers who stick up their nose at anime don't want to hang out with me, and the anime-lovers who don't get classical literature maybe think I'm gonna be a snob toward them. Because they know "too much" about me. If they knew less, if they knew only what they'd feel comfortable knowing, because my blog is anime-only or something, then maybe we'd be friends. Not that I'd call that friendship :) but you know, in that shallow, hyper-specific social media sense of the word.

That's my theory. I never was popular on any social media site - personal blogs rarely are! Never wanted to be either (I've been here since I was in college and uhhh absolutely do not judge me please by anything I wrote when I was stupid nineteen). And it may be that very personal feature of tumblr which makes it less attractive to people than places where the point is to be a persona, instead of a person. Persona attracts, person not so much.

I just feel sad that this type of social media seems to be disappearing when I have no appreciation for the type that's replaced it. Believe it or not, I want to see y'all's novel-length text posts. Even when I don't read them, I still want to see them. I like having my little group that I follow and the only people I unfollow are blogs which self-promote more than I have a taste for. Small spaces are so underrated and I guess that's only to be expected.

#tumblr #social media

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aurumacadicus · 2 years

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Winteriron camping..... Mothman?

My guy I thought Mothman was a tumblr joke this man is an actual cryptid???? 😭😭 I'm so stupid

Anyway flannel moths! Tony is very fluffy and has very blue fur.

.-.

"This is stupid. We're gonna get killed. I hate this," Bucky muttered, stabbing at the fire they'd built with a stick violently. “How did you talk me into this?”

“I threatened to tell Natasha that you were the one who ate the slice of cake she’d been saving,” Steve replied, unconcerned.

Bucky threw his hands up, frustrated, but he suspected being killed by a cryptid would be better than what Natasha would do to him. “When did you start believing in this stuff, anyway?”

“Sam’s into this stuff and I want to impress him,” Steve answered, shrugging.

“I’M HERE TO HELP YOU GET IN SAM’S PANTS?!” Bucky roared.

Steve blinked at him, unimpressed. He returned his attention to book he’d been reading about different cryptids of the east coast. “You’re here to make sure I live long enough to. You know you wouldn’t have let me come alone anyway so I don’t understand why you’re making a fuss.”

“Unbelievable,” Bucky hissed. He got to his feet and turned to stomp off into the woods.

“Where are you going?” Steve called after him.

“I’m going to walk off my rage so I don’t just fucking kill you myself,” Bucky snapped.

“Take a flashlight.”

Bucky turned to walk back and grab one of the flashlights, then stormed back into the woods.

Maybe he should have brought breadcrumbs or something, because as soon as he got away from the fire, all of the trees looked the same. He was pretty sure that he was following a path, but not entirely. Maybe he should bite the bullet and go back. If Sam was there, he could razz him mercilessly for being attracted to a punk like Steve.

His flashlight caught on something shiny and blue as he turned around. Bucky paused, considering if he wanted to open that kettle of fish, then sighed in frustration. It would bother him forever if he didn’t see what it was. He turned the flashlight back on the trees they’d shone on before, not really expecting anything except maybe a shirt or coat that had been left behind by other campers.

Instead the beam found glowing red eyes. Bucky sucked in a deep breath to scream.

“Ow, fuck, that’s bright. Stop it!” the creature snapped, and a hand came up to shield its eyes.

Bucky dropped the beam just enough to show a furred ruff around the creature’s neck, which spread back to fuzzy blue wings. Its eyeballs’ glow faded to a dull pink as the light moved away. “Um, sorry,” he said, for lack of anything else.

“Well, at least you didn’t scream,” the creature sighed. “It hurts my ears.”

Bucky couldn’t help feeling incredibly proud of himself. A little stupid, too, though. He stole a glance at the creature’s ears, like a human’s except pointed, sort of like what he imagined an elf’s might look like. The tips were coated with blue fuzz, too. Somehow that was cute. “Oh no,” Bucky said.

The creature looked at him, eyes big and frightened. “Are you a hunter? Please don’t hurt me, I wasn’t doing anything.”

“I’ve just had a sexual awakening,” Bucky moaned, rubbing his face with his free hand.

“Oh, a monster fucker,” the creature said flatly. “Sometimes you’re worse.”

“Shut the fuck up people come looking for you for sex?!” Bucky asked shrilly. He found himself sinking to the ground, overwhelmed. “I just found this out about me!”

The creature took a few steps toward him, bending at the waist to be able to see his face. “Well, you don’t have to act like being attracted to me is a chore,” he said, scowling.

“You’re being very rude,” Bucky told it. “I’m having an identity crisis right now. What’s your name? Pronouns? I feel gross calling you ‘it.’“

“I’m Tony,” the creature said. Tony blinked at him, frowning, then added, “I’m male. It’s why I’m blue!” he added cheerfully, fluttering his wings. They shimmered in the dim glow from the flashlight. “Females are yellow.”

“That’s neat,” Bucky said faintly.

Tony blinked at him a little longer, then stood up, crossing his arms thoughtfully. “Well, you’re much prettier than most of the monster fuckers that come looking for us.”

Bucky felt very proud again. He thought maybe he shouldn’t, except Tony didn’t look offended or scared, so. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Yeah, like this weird little human? I don’t think he’s a monster fucker but he smells really fuckin’ horny whenever he comes. I can’t tell if it’s at the thought of me or his hunting partner,” Tony continued, oblivious.

Bucky surged to his feet on instinct and reached out for Tony’s hand. Tony stared up at him, mouth falling open in shock. He looked down at their entwined hands, then back at Bucky’s face.

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I know screaming hurts your ears but Tony. Tony. Please help me embarrass Steve.”

“The little hunter?” Tony asked skeptically.

“He and Sam just want your picture,” Bucky assured him, and then, “I will make it worth your while.”

Tony narrowed his eyes at him. “What do you have that I would want?”

“Have you ever tried a s’more?” Bucky asked.

Tony blinked, uncomprehending. “No?”

“You’ll love ‘em,” Bucky decided. “Come on.”

“Be careful of my fur, I’m venomous,” Tony warned again, but he allowed Bucky to pull him along anyway.

Bucky warned him to cover his ears just before they cleared the treeline, which seemed to get him in Tony’s good graces as both Sam and Steve screamed bloody murder when they saw him.

#ask meme #write a blurb meme #winteriron #gayspacesprinkles

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bewitched-bullet · 1 month

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You won't reply to me but I have to say something as well. They deleted their posts because followers (I'm one of them) explicitly asked them to delete them. You can check his blog to see.

I honestly feel you are creating so much hatred out of nothing. I am even afraid to show you my identity, knowing you will come after me if I do. Only because I have a different perspective on it all.

Didn't this whole discussion start with the supposed toxicity of the Sherlock mod? Who was trying to prevent an RPer from leaving? That's precisely what he did to John, according to John's posts on his blog (you have to read between the lines), perhaps to Mycroft even (dunno for sure). But who knows for sure they did? Isn't it logically that you beg someone not to leave because you want to continue what you're doing?

I saw the last post on the John blog and was quite moved. He always sounds like a very reasonable guy, unlike Sherlock, unlike you guys on here. Sorry.

So, we ask you to stop this crusade. I will also ask my friends to send you a message just in case. Stop it. You are hurting people who don't deserve it.

*le sigh*

I'm afraid you haven't been actually paying attention if you think I can see his blog. After our conversation in a comment section, the John mod blocked me. Which I posted about.

If you have read all my posts, etc you would see that I've answered every single ask except two. Even the spicy ones sent by Harriet mod as themselves and as anon and the 3 by the Mycroft/John mod as anonymous. Even, when John sent basically the same message 3 times (my inbox, ask, and tagging me (as John) ((which can be considered harassment)), I never "came after" them. Not like they have for most of the other mods, including ones OUTSIDE of their rp group.

Isn't. That. Interesting.

So, no, I'm not going to "come after" you for being polite and expressing yourself.

Now on to the good stuff.

So the John mod will flip-flop on what they strongly believe, on a whim, for a stranger.

Take note on that.

Looks like you are referencing the post Dump made? Allow me to remind you (which isn't my responsibility btw) what you are talking about if you are. Dump said that (paraphrasing):

"...consult-sherlock begged me to stay. They all contributed to my decision to block JOHN, SHERLOCK, AND MORIARTY."

If you want the exact verbiage, go look for it. It's in the tag "a scandal in tumblr".

We don't know the nature of the begging. And we can't ask the source because they specifically said to LEAVE THEM ALONE. Begging, is not inherently wrong? Not sure what you're insinuating here. Maybe you are assuming how they were begging was wrong? If you have any insider information on this I would very much be interested.

If you call avoidance, deflection, refusing to break character on a concerning issue (referring to when this was just about the fishy miscommunication) as "Reading between the lines", that's a personal problem for you. All that I mentioned in this paragraph are all red flags. Very red. On fire, red. And no one can help you see these till you're ready. That's why so many people stay with OBVIOUSLY (and sometimes not so publicly obvious) awful partners that mistreat them, why we excuse our (our as in as whole, not saying you and me specifically) abusive parents behavior, or side with an abusive government(s) that sanctions genocide.

As for being reasonable...I am reasonable. Till I'm not. I will never be reasonable to bullying/abuse. Especially when it involves little kids and old people. I will go fucking feral. And with this situation, after the pretzels John clearly twisted himself into, the PUBLIC harassment of Greg, yeah, for sure, I'm more in my feels in this. That being said, I haven't lost all rational thought. Cuz these are grown adults that are involved and feral me isn't needed.

I can easily adjust my stance on a situation don't have all information on. Because I'm intelligent like that.

Remember the Amber Heard case?

Thankfully, I could wait till a public court case to see all the evidence presented in an organized manner to make my judgements.

(cuz it's fucking hilarious)

However, so many people were upset at being "wrong". Ooooor they doubled down in their previous beliefs DESPITE the clear evidence. Its ok to change your views as new information and actual facts come out.

This is called critical thinking. (Side note: they were both abusive to each other but it's clear who "started" it. Reactive abuse it still abuse though, y'all. And if you see this in yourself, recognize it, get help, and you can improve. I believe that all people can become better versions of themselves...but that's because I can't squash the optimism that lives deep down inside me)

I'll keep this simple: there's no crusade. Just presentation of evidence, my knowledge, conclusions, and feels.

I'm rather allergic to holy wars that justify murder and genocide.

Oh? You're going to ask your friends to message me to stop? You mean you're gonna recruit people to try and bully me into submission? Gonna harass me if I don't do what you want? Gonna jumpstart your own foray into abuse?

Be careful, it's a slippery slope. And once you start sliding down it, it's incredibly hard to claw your way back up.

Side note: I'm not going to be anyone's brain, legs, fingers. All of you can think for yourselves, can find the info yourselves, and type things in yourselves. The information is there. Stop being lazy if you actually want to know

#a scandal in tumblr #answering anons #anon ask #anonymous #don't be lazy #do the work #im not gonna think for you #mental abuse #abuse #emotional abuse #bullying is abuse #bullying is wrong #gawd #i can't wait to disappear into the depths of the abyss again #i need a drink #its 5 o'clock somewhere

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