#except one is legit in love

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[traumxrei-archive]

OH YEAH. ABOUT BASKETBALL FLOYD….

as i was losing my mind over the fact that my luggage was simply Not Here (aka it got left in another country bc there was a transit and the airline fucked up) i was like “hey why don’t i do pulls to cheer myself up ?” bc bball floyd's banner released during my flight

so i did do some pulls while staring at the conveyer belt from time to time and—

I THINK HE HEARD MY LAMENTATIONS LMAO ?? i was fully shocked. i wasn’t even paying proper attention until i heard his voice, i fully thought he was an SR card and then the screen turned black and i was like ??? and then !!!! bc. yes. he came home.

i told my friend and he was like “floyd came to wait with you !” and i was losing it bc. i didn’t even know how to react…i don’t think i’ve ever gotten someone’s card so fast. thank you to floyd for being so sweet and coming home <3

#/trau rambles #GACHA PAYNE #except i’m winning #the one time floyd is nice sniff #he loves me fr /j #i was legit like ‘well at least one thing was going right lmao'

[gloriousfemaleworrier]

*I emerge from my long hibernation from fandom activity to write a detailed heartfelt and emotional series about Tedbecca*

#tedbecca #hannah legit said she cannot imagine a world where rebecca exists without ted #jason you can say platonic all you want but...c'mon #ted lasso #god damn it jason sudeikis #there is so much chemistry there and if you tell me it's platonic I will lose my damn mind #they are soulmates #this has been confirmed #BUT NOOOOO #ted x rebecca #honestly either ted and rebecca are in love or jason and hannah are in love because...there is actual real love there. #i have parents who are madly in love with each other and have been for more than twenty years #I KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE #I would support the heck out of jason x hannah #NOT that I'm fandom shipping real people because YICK #but I just think they would be very adorable together #DON'T COME FOR ME #i just love love man #these tags are a mess #but no one's gonna read them except future me #so... #yeah

[collinnmckinley]

“All good things must come to an end, but how good was the end of our crew?. Let’s not mince the word, everyone, but everyone, is dead. The only one who made out off the island alive was the dog. So- rest in peace...”

#the devil in me #the dark pictures the devil in me #the dark pictures #the curator #edits* #gifs* #gamingedit #dailygaming #ah yes i managed to get the worst ending possible #cause this fucking game is so fucking glitchy and laggy #legit had all my characters get killed #except one of course #i killed her cause i didn't know it would kill her lol #anyways i just loved this scene so i had to gif it c: #scheduled post

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

u ever hear a friend say something that they think is like this highly political and progressive thing and ur just kind of sitting there like. oh you haven’t gotten the new update yet

#one of my best friends who i love dearly is very chronically online but only in very certain ways #she’s like a twitter gay level leftist which is all fine and dandy #except she will say ‘that’s an outdated term’ as a knee jerk reaction to me saying i took the aspie quiz (which is the literal name of the #quiz and doesn’t consider asperger’s as one of the results anyway) but then in the same breath say that he/him or bi lesbians aren’t legit #like every time i see her pull that kind of stuff i’m like oh you haven’t gotten to the ‘you can do whatever you want forever’ stage yet #idk. i think she’s coming around to more things but it’s like. weird #she also just regularly rewatches glee so maybe that’s the problem #mari is irrelevant

[fitzrove]

Overwhelmed by nostalgia actually

#this will sound SO elitist of me #but #i miss my summer course at the boarding school that was closed after the summer and they carved out an artificial lake on the manor grounds #and converted the cozy two-person dorm rooms to have bunk beds to fit six to eight kids #apparently they also 'refurbished' a historic building on the site :( #i mean i'm glad someone is taking care of the site - it's so beautiful #but i miss the way it was soooo much and there's no way to go to that place again except in memories #and then !! sequel - cambridge 2019 #granted it would probably be much the same as a town if i went in summer again but it really was when i learned how much i love university #but yeah deeply sad and insane about [redacted] manor i miss it sooooo much #one of my teachers actually really liked me and wanted to seriously talk about me studying there full time oabdlskdödldöfo #obviously it was never going to happen because who pays english boarding fees when you can study 100% for free at home #but what if in an alternate universe i did study there #idk i don't feel that sad about THAT missed chance #mostly because i'm legit replicating it w my master's #but i do wonder if i'm going to spend the rest of my life chasing similar places and the way i felt that summer when i was 15 🥹 #if you send me a dm and we're friends etc i will show you pictures of the manor because it looks amazing

[mariocki]

Katy Manning, in her second screen role (see her first here), as Julia Dungarvon - full-time typist, part-time coffee shop waitress, and member of more than one love triangle - in Man at the Top: The Prime of Life (1.4, Thames, 1971)

#fave spotting #katy manning #man at the top #doctor who #jo grant #classic doctor who #1971 #classic tv #thames #kenneth haigh #mark mcmanus #keith skinner #i recently picked up s2 of Man at the Top after several years of looking; i got the first series and then network promptly deleted both #individual releases in favour of a complete set and as i wasn't in LOVE with the series i refused to double dip... patience finally #(finally!!) paid off. but it had been so long since i watched s1 that i legit just didn't remember it and thought i should rewatch before #starting series 2. two things came back to me on revisiting: Joe Lampton is a serious contender for old tv's Biggest Bastard and also the #scripts are really actually very very strong (particularly the first few‚ written by novelist John Braine who was the character's original #creator way back when Room at the Top was published in 1957). anyway. one thing i hadn't remembered... and SPOILERS INCOMING FOR S1 OF THIS #OLD SERIES NOBODY WILL BE THAT INTERESTED IN EXCEPT ONE MUTUAL I KNOW HAS SEEN S2.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED #while i remembered Katy turned up (in 2 eps iirc) i had completely forgotten the absolute ick of a storyline she has. she's Joe Lampton's #15yr old son's 18yr old girlfriend... who Joe then starts sleeping with. blergh. like i said Joe is a piece of work and honestly pretty #unredeemable at times (this a prime example). it's all pretty gross but Katy does well and has a much meatier role than in the Softly #Softly: Task Force she'd done the year before. she was about 25 but convinces as an 18yr old (just as Skinner convinces as a 15yr old but #he too was in his 20s im relieved to say; there's some heavy macking that made me squirm when i knew Katy was 25 and thought he was 15) #shudder. anyway. despite everything I've said this series is better than i remembered‚ mostly bc of those pin sharp scripts that belong to #the power game and the brothers world of big business bitching mixed with familial melodrama. just.. try to be a little less creepy joe. #or a lot less‚ ideally

[stargirlfics]

coming home from one of those days working in healthcare where you feel incompetent the entire day like

#adventures in the OR #i legit was starting to cry while we stuck a laser up someone’s penis just now what is life fjdjdj #i’m still learning cysto/urology and I absolutely hate it #it’s wet and messy and the surgeries itself are pretty easy but it’s learning the equipment and what supplies and who prefers what ya know #also tell me why all the surgeons in urology except for the one (1) woman in the specialty are lowkey assholes :) love that

[lycanwlf]

hi. i finally finished the sonic frontiers dlc. i like this ending :)

#sonic frontiers spoilers #for the tags only #sorry i need to ramble in the tags #did i cheat to finish the final trial. yes. do i regret it ? eehhhhh no not really #i just REALLY wanted to see the fuckin ending and i was tired of getting beat tf up and trying to figure out how to fight knight #when i eventually replay for my new 100% save file i'll do it legit. i think. it depends how i'm feeling when i get there #HEY I DID EVERYTHING LEGIT EXCEPT THAT ONE TRIAL OK CUT ME SOME SLACK #anyway the ending was cute. im glad sage is alive and happy in this ending. idk if THIS is the canon ending or if the other one is but!!! #i like both endings :) i just really like this game ok #i love this stupid blue fuck and his stupid little furry friends. i love them so much #def my fav game of all time. idc if its ''flawed'' i love it anyway #i do NOT tolerate sonic frontiers hate. and i never WILL !!!!!!! #unless we're complaining about the pop-in and render distance LOL #andre.txt

[the-cookie-of-doom]

So I've been watching Call Me By Fire and this show is batshit but it's also so fun and wholesome??

#cookie speaks #and it's reminding me #that my childhood dream was to learn chinese #(along with like 6 other languahes) #its one of the hardest to learn tho so I chose japanese instead #failed #attempted korean bc it #is supposed to be relatively easy #STILL failed #i cannot do character-based languages apparently #i would love to learn thai just bc the characters are so pretty tho #like even if i couldn't speak it i want to learn how to write it #same for arabic #both beautiful written languages #this is why i can't get into foreign media i want to learn All The Languages but im REALLY BAD with languages #legit lived in germany for 2 years #learned nothing #except how to say i dont speak german lmfao

[welcometoteyvat]

tell me why freminet already has more crit rate and crit damage than characters ive tried building for over a year even though i just slapped my random unused artifacts onto him

#to be fair he has no set bonus rn and every one of his artifacts are not useful as set bonus but like #WHY !!!!!!!!!! #can't have shit in artifact rng system #i realized i have legit good pieces... but only 1 or 2 for each set and they're on sets i'll never use except on one (1) character #gilded dreams crit helmet you will always be famous to me. 31 cr and 33 cd AND FOR WHAT. ITS AN EM SET CRIT IS USELESS #anyways i decided to build him on a whim for funsies mostly bc i dont have a good dps on my commissions team rn #yelan is carrying (sexycat emoji) she'll be his support hehe #he's like. 73 crit rate? and 138 cd. which is pretty stacked to me considering he doesnt have any other sources of crit #i have snowtombed starsilver on him rn .. but it's killing me not using the fish claymore T_T i need to put it on him for the bit!! #its just that the passive (burst dmg) isnt super useful rip #gacha logs #ramblings! #also i have no clue how to play phys claymore dpses because i am anti eula anti razor #<- literally just dont have either. razor's dodged me for an entire 3 years now #but frem's so cute.... squishing his cheeks giving him a warm blanket etc #showering him with love (aka going to artifact hell)

[cinaminrolll]

ITS OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

#i legit think i’ve played every single day since then #except maybe a couple when i was on a trip.. #i mean half the time i just log in to do the daily tasks #but still #one whole year of loving mammon <3 #(oh my gosh that was so cringey i’m sorry) #mammon #obey me mammon #om! mammon #obey me: one master to rule them all #obey me: shall we date #obey me

[zingaplanet]

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?

Now now be careful because I've lived my whole life in two regions with the most wicked cuisines ever lo behold Asia and Northern Europe and by the first I mean really whacky cuisines and the latter just, well, purely dreadful ones 🥲.

I have eaten countless variations of insects and scorpions and actually half of them are genuinely alright but somebody tricked me into eating turtle soup once (i didn't know what it was) and i just felt absolutely horrible for the next months (see that is just pure chaotic evil).

But then again I've lived in the Netherlands previously and I once went to this kind of conference for uni thing where the Dutch made us eat broodje kaas, that is sliced bread with cheese, FOR 3 DAYS. Like, just genuine bread and cheese, repeatedly.

Now, I have nothing against bread my europeans (do not come at me), and only a slight problem with cheese, but there comes a point where it's not so much a matter of exposure as it is a matter of the quantity of exposure.

Lo and behold: The glorious

#i still have nightmares of the bread and cheese #i legit know one dutch guy who eats this for his breakfast lunch and dinner every single weekday #i love u my dutchies but no exception on food #asks

[strifethedestroyer]

i would fucking die without свидетельство о смерти im telling you. ive been hyperfixting on them and their music for like a few months now and i listen to their music throughout almost the entire day almost every day i JUST. HHH.

#text #свидетельство о смерти #DID YOU GUYS SEE BORYA'S NEW VIDEO THOUGH?? IM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THE CONCERTS IN OCTOBER YOU HAVE NO IDEA #IM SO EXCITEDDDD AUGHHH also this is legit the first time ive ever heard borya speak instead of sing except ofc in those like 2 seconds in #the beginnings of считалочка and осенний бред like bro have you guys ever heard him speak before and not sing lmao??? #ALSO DID YOU SEE HIS CAT IN THE VIDEO JSHSHS HE HAS A KITTYYYY I LEGIT COMMENTED ASKING IF THAT WAS A CAT AND HE JUST REPLIED YEP THATS A #CAT LMAO HE'S SO CUTE I LOVE HIM #anyway yeah hype. i dont even know why ive been saying you guys in all these tags when no one fucking listens to СоС #WAIT NO THATS A LIE ONE OF MY MUTUALS LISTENS TO THEM AHAHA #anyway yeah can you tell i love them

[itsanauxine]

Well because I haven’t posted in like a week ima just say HEY IM ALIVE (mostly) and I’m going to be posting my sketchbook (tentatively) tomorrow because my director decided we would be having super long rehearsals for the musical I’m in every single day until the end of the month so like- yeah my bloodstream is coffee and redbull but WE VIBING :3

#I miss y’all #sorry about that #update #legit I started this one drawing a mutual said I should make like two weeks ago and legit I have not had any time to finish it #like I LOVE DOING ART #STUPID SCHEDULE LET ME DO ART #anyway small rant sorry #rant #mini rant #oh yeah I filled my sketchbook that I started around last year so that’s why I’m posting some of it #most of its terrible tho so like don’t expect anything great #except my drawing of Michael Sheen got… transformed #by my art club #we are silly