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#except sheila is also a nerd
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10 Characters 10 Fandoms 10 5 Tags
Tagged by @iliiuan
Rules: choose 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms -- no double dipping! Then tag friends or mutuals to complete the game as well.
(Oh god oh god picking favorites what did I do to deserve this???)
Top 10
Rand al'Thor of Wheel of Time - I know that like, virtually every major character in the series has a bigger following than this boy, but dammit people he's just a regular dude on an epic quest that takes and takes and takes until there's nothing left but it's not done taking yet. I love every POV section he gets and every bit of suffering he has to go through.
Uncle Iroh of Avatar: The Last Airbender - Normally it's your Sokkas or your Zukos or your Tophs who would grab me but in a cast of shining stars Uncle Iroh is a particularly radiant entry. I would die for this man. He makes me feel I'm not drinking enough tea.
Koshirou "Izzy" Izumi of Digimon Adventure - I think part of the reason Digimon stuck with me all this time is the belief the first series had (and really the shows as a whole, but especially the first one) that none of the kids were bad or flawed for being who they were, only for how they might be hurting the others. Izzy was more comfortable with computers than people but his skill set kept the kids alive on plenty of occasions and he was never any less part of the gang for being a nerd except the times he hyperfixated while the others were in need.
Karkat Vantas of Homestuck - Homestuck was... Yeah. That sure was a thing, huh? But Karkat's constant shouting and cross-temporal feud with his past and future selves was endearing, as was his obvious hate-crush on the protagonist that was resolved in the most embarrassing way possible. And frankly, his continued disbelief at the late-comic antics more than made up for how shitty the late parts of the comic were.
Mercymorn of The Locked Tomb - Virtually every character in these books is iconic, but Mercymorn, the Saint of Joy is the sort of character who would have hundreds of gif sets of her if only she existed in a visual medium. Immortality and waging an impossible war give her nothing but contempt for our heroes, our villains, and frankly anyone else she's in the room with.
Jak of Jak & Daxter - I think I just have a thing for dudes who get tortured beyond all reason and struggle between their innate heroism and the corruption that's been burned into them by outside forces. Also he gets some cool guns, you know? Can't argue with cool guns.
Garak of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - An exiled spy doomed to spend his days in a port/fortress owned by one set of enemies and administrated by another? A wide array of possible backstories, each one equally plausible except for how they all contradict each other? A slow onset of madness from the grief and isolation kept at bay only through chemical abuse and a homoerotic relationship with the galaxy's smartest idiot? And he's not even a main character!
Sheila "Dr. Girlfriend" / "Mrs. the Monarch" Fitzcarraldo of The Venture Brothers - Sheila starts out a complete joke (but then, who isn't a complete joke in her series) but grows into one of the most competent and compelling members of the cast. I'm still not quite sure what she sees in the Monarch but I enjoy how she's both fully supportive of his goals while still set very much on her own thing with the Guild of Calamitous Intent as well. I hope the show comes back so we can see what she gets up to next, or at least see her in that pillbox hat one more time.
Max of Sam & Max - Hyperkinetic lagomorphs are always a plus, and I enjoy the way he's pure id in a franchise where superegos are already in short supply. I'm gonna hafta replay the games one of these days.
Susan Ivanova of Babylon 5 - Learn the Babylon 5 mantra: Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. I have nothing else to say on this particular front.
@checkoutmybookshelf
@notmuchtoconceal
@butterflydm
@mashithamel
@bashircore
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claryxjackson · 3 years
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i need all the details about your fear street ocs once you have it all sorted lmao
hsdfdsds okay so i have like... 3 things sorted out, but that's all i need right?
i have 4 main ocs at the moment, all existing in the same universe.
because reasons, they all fit a verse from the Sarah Fier rhyme.
Louise Wellman -> she reaches from beyond the grave to make good men her wicked slaves
first appears in: 1994
baby
a shadyside killer
she was going places guys, like the Kate of the 80s
from the 80s or something idk i need to work on this timeline
yes i want to use the entire cast from AHS 1984, what about it?
her iconic shadyside killer weapon is one of those ridiculously huge and sharp kitchen knives.
she was so sweet as a human i'm so upset.
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Clementine Burnell -> she'll take your blood
first appears in: 1994
sunnyvale cheerleader
classic mean girl trope in a horror movie
god she should have died first
the sheila of 1994
but then she has ✨character development✨ after the whole debacle at the hospital and she gets dragged into this mess.
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idk his name yet, rip -> she'll take your head
first appears in: 1976
from Sunnyvale
he was a counsellor at Camp Nightwing, and he hung out with Cindy and Tommy a lot because the Sunnvale counselors were the Worst
like the only valid counselor in that camp
except tommy
he spent most of his time helping out Nurse Lane
he was so bitter for someone from Sunnyvale, it's kind of funny.
very doom and gloom.
idk what else he does, i'll figure it out.
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Max Fraser -> she'll follow you until you're dead
fuck tumblr i just lost everything i had written for max
here we go again
first appears in: 1994
anyway, Max is Sam's twin brother
he stayed in Shadyside with their dad
he's super awkward around Deena now because that whole situation is just... tense
this being said, he's very casual with Kate and Simon.
he dated kate for a hot second in grade seven, they affectionately call each other "my ex" as if it was any sort of meaningful relationship
he might be dating Simon?? He doesn't know. He's very confused by that whole situation.
he's such a huge soundgarden and pearl jam fan, and also such a nerd
like he knows just as much, if not more, about Sarah Fier and the witches' curse as Josh.
he very much did not sign up for this shit, but here he is.
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lavernius · 3 years
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When will Red Team get a freelancer? Blue team's gotten every single freelancer so far. With the exception of Carolina, who got Blue Team.
thank you for this anon i’m taking this ask so i can discuss my perfect ideal team layouts for both teams. this is how i think things should go. this is how it works in my small brain
red team: sarge, simmons, lopez, donut, grif, doc, carolina, locus
blue team: florida, church, sheila, caboose, tucker, kai, tex, wash
specifically note the order i’ve listed them in and how the characters parallel. now i will elaborate:
sarge + florida: team dads. very passionate in their fight but very different, one is strict with his team and one is gentle with them. like having fun, like getting messy, like being weird.
simmons + church: nerds, brains of their teams. often the first ones to point out the details, hold everyone else accountable, think everyone around them is so fucking insufferably stupid.
lopez + sheila: team robots, romeo and juliet. they don’t have many similarities but also they work well together by the nature of being Lopez and Sheila
donut + caboose: the “”stupid”” ones. the ones who have their own way of doing things, make it obvious that they love their friends, are the positivity of each team.
grif + tucker: the "”lazy”” ones. they have so much potential but are insecure, they’re both very capable people when they try but you have to have faith in them/support them
doc + kai: friendly, ambitious people. have the rest of the team’s backs, are good listeners, try their best to help but are not afraid to snark everyone if the circumstance calls for it
carolina + tex: i don’t even need to elaborate on this one. also i’m a red team carolina stan because of this entire comparison don’t look at me i’m shy
locus + wash: traumatized, manipulated, abused ex-villains with a redemption arc. were hurt badly before they met the reds and blues, who were instrumental in them realizing they deserved better
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theforsakenprince · 4 years
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Guardians au
I’ve had the idea for this au for a while now sooo introducing the Sanders sides/destiny au! (it was bound to happen at some point lskdjhg)
It probably won’t be a chaptered fic or anything, just a few ficlets here and there. 
Disclaimer this isn’t going to be organized this is just me throwing my ideas down
SO
Virgil
He’s obviously a hunter
Like look at him
He wears the longest cloaks
He’s an awoken and has long hair that he sometimes puts up in a ponytail 
I feel like he would be a Nightstalker most of the time though he will reluctantly use arc if necessary
Solar is a bit too flashy for him
He was rezzed somewhere on Earth sometime before the events of Rise of Iron
He named his ghost Luna and she is probably the most outgoing ghost you’ll meet
So basically the polar opposite of Virgil
When he was rezzed, he woke up with a journal he had written when he was alive
Most of it doesn’t make sense to him
He doesn’t allow anyone but Luna to read it
He participates in the Crucible sometimes, but not a ton
He stays FAR away from the Drifter and Gambit when he comes to the Tower
He’s very protective of his cloaks and will stab anyone who touches them without consent
If he let’s you touch them, it means he trusts you a lot
Roman
He’s a human Titan that mostly uses solar light
The void terrifies him and he doesn’t understand how Virgil uses it so much
He was rezzed on the moon around the same time as Virgil
His ghost, Pluto, was accompanied by Patton-1, a kind exo hunter who helps ghosts find their guardians all over the system
Pluto is a shy and careful ghost that gets a heart attack everytime Roman does something reckless (which is all the time. Pluto has to revive him a lot)
He participates in the crucible a lot and he’s GOOD at it
He’s very skilled with a sword
Shaxx loves him
He doesn’t like the Drifter and thinks the vanguard should kick him out
The feeling is mutual
Roman loves fashion and dressing up and he’s probably the best dressed Titan you’ll encounter
He loves buying a lot of different shells for Pluto and while Pluto prefers simple shells, he goes along with it since it makes Roman happy
He also loves getting gifts for his friends
He got Luna a new ghost shell one Dawning and if she could cry she would have
He also got Logan robes with constellations on them 
Roman just loves his friends okay
Logan
He’s an awoken Warlock that’s been alive since the Dark Age
Basically the embodiment of the *takes off glasses* ‘I’ve seen enough’ meme
He mainly uses arc light but doesn’t really mind using the others
He makes sure to have a well of radiance or a rift ready whenever he goes on missions with his dumbass fireteam
His ghost, Lux, doesn’t talk much, but when she does it’s usually helpful information or a sarcastic comment
He can usually be found patrolling planets
You will rarely find him in the crucible
Shaxx probably doesn’t know his name
His apartment in the city is mostly used as a storage space for the interesting things he finds around the system
He basically lives in his ship
He prefers to go on solo strikes/missions (But he does enjoy the others company)
Roman got him fake glasses for his revival day because “nerds wear glasses”
Logan was not amused
Basically the adult of the group
Probably needs a coffee
Patton-1
He’s an exo hunter 
Probably the most cheery hunter in the city
He mostly uses solar light but is okay with anything
His ghost is named sheila and she’s basically the mom friend
Like most hunters, he doesn’t spend much time in the city
Patton spends most of his time taking ghosts to other planets and helps them find their guardians
That’s actually how he met Roman, by helping Pluto find him
He’s friends with tons of ghosts (and guardians) and somehow remembers all their names
He likes to decorate his apartment in the city but rarely stays there
He likes to introduce himself as Pat-one because he likes terrible puns and I think it’s funny
Not much to say about him tbh he’s just a nice hunter that helps ghosts out occasionally
Janus
He’s a human warlock that’s been alive as long as Logan has, if not longer
He doesn’t talk much and his ghost, Calypso, does most of the talking for him
Although he does start talking more once he meets the others
He prefers to use void light, but is okay with anything
He’s very good at being a sniper and frustrates anyone who goes against him in the crucible
Roman thinks it’s cowardly to hang back and not put himself at risk
He’s just salty because he died to Janus about 15 times in a row
Janus doesn’t mind the Drifter’s presence and probably plays the most Gambit out of everyone except Remus
He thinks the Vanguard aren’t the right people to lead the city, and that feeling is only reinforced when Cayde dies
He usually patrols on his own and sometimes isn’t seen for days at a time
His favorite place to patrol is Io
Every time someone asks him what his name is, he gives a different answer
Remus
He’s a human titan that was rezzed sometime before the events of the Red War
His ghost, Callum, rezzed him on the moon
He doesn’t have an elemental preference 
Most guardians avoid him since they don’t know what to make of him
Callum has to rez him a lot because of his... unusual plans
They do work though
Doesn’t stop Callum from being tired of his shit
Eventually, Janus notices him and they become the unlikeliest pair of friends
He practically lives in his ship 
His favorite place to patrol is Titan because of the monster under the ocean
The only thing stopping him from looking for it himself is Callum
So he spends most of his time watching it in the arcology
Although he isn’t as good as Roman, he’s still decent in the crucible
Of the entire group, Remus spends the most time in Gambit, mostly for the gear
(He’s an excellent invader)
 I have no idea how to end this uhh keep a lookout for more of this au because I will be writing a LOT for it
Feel free to ask questions about it!
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cinaed · 4 years
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Red vs Blue Season 2 Rewatch
Well I'd meant to do my season two rewatch Saturday but was sick most of the weekend. But now I'm feeling well enough to watch and enjoy! 
Aw, I forgot that the first scene of the season is Doc's introduction. 
Church being so done with Caboose and Tucker, and the combination of O'Malley and Caboose means that his threats involve giving Church a birthday present (sure it's Tucker's head, but you know). 
Just imagining Doc's expression as the Blues explain that Church is a ghost and now a ghost in a robot makes me laugh. Also another thing is that the Blues apparently have a Spanish-English dictionary, which somehow the Reds never bothered to get for years. Sorry, Lopez! 
I love that Church actually knows military lingo and it's Tucker and Caboose who are like "???" whenever he tries to be smart in earlier seasons. Also Tucker just being like "Nope, I like my blood on the inside."
God, I forgot that Church went "I can't pronounce Frank, we're calling you Doc." Like..Frank? At least protesting over DuFresne makes a little more sense! Church really does love to mess with people. Also Doc's speech about the differences between being a medic and a doctor remains iconic. "Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die."
I also forgot that Church just straight shoots Caboose (and actually hit him!) so Doc will go over and help him. Stone cold. "I can't believe he shot me!" "Oh, don't even START Caboose!"
Also love that the Reds have staff meetings, which Grif presumably sleeps through. Though why they all even trusted Grif to carry ammo around, I just don't know. 
And the beginning of the iconic surrender exchanges. Cake, flags (wait no flags), Lopez. Doc turning into a fake hostage. "You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" "We've already got that! What else do you have?"
I forgot that Doc immediately assesses the Red Team, realizes Grif is the least popular of the group, and immediately starts insulting him to curry favor. Speaking of stone cold, like dang, Doc. 
Another iconic scene is Church ragging on Tucker as he wiggles his switch. :D And of course Sarge's amazing code is "drive." He's definitely that guy whose password is Password1235. 
Fun parallels with Donut's "I'm so freaking lost" and Doc's "Help, this Jeep is kidnapping me!" 
Lopez is like a son to Sarge! Sarge loves him so much that he forgives him for turning against him and murdering him. Also Sarge thinking he can fight a machine gun. 
Tucker: "You hardly ever used your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggy-back rides." Church: "Hey, I already told you: that was for science." And thus canonical piggyback rides were established. 
Bold of Simmons to call someone else Poindexter. 
Everyone thinking Church is shy because he can't turn around. 
Grif using Doc's words against him, and thus a low-key dislike of each other was born. 
Poor Doc. Stuck wandering the wilderness aka the 60 feet or however much space there is between the bases. 
Simmons and Grif squabbling like an old married couple trying to tell the story about the Blues and Doc.
I am usually against love triangles, but the Lopez/Sheila and Sheila/Caboose is so good. 
Caboose having a good idea, except they didn't consider that Lopez would immediately escape.
Ah, the old days when Lopez actually believed in the Red Team. Also will always love "Primary objectives: 1. Fix everything. 2. Hate the orange one. 3. Call mom more often." Lopez calling Sarge father! And then his brutal disillusionment as the Reds almost kill him. 
Simmons loves that machine gun. 
Lopez/Sheila is such a good ship. Love their meet-cute. Of course then Tex steals his body. Also Sheila being into Lopez AND Tex. I'd forgotten about that. 
"Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life." 
Love Tex just rolling with "Sure, I'm a ghost." And now we're finally into the O'Malley plot which is so much fun. 
Sarge's been wanting to get a cyborg on his team for this whole dang war. He's so happy when Simmons becomes a cyborg. Meanwhile Grif and Simmons are united in hating the idea. 
Tex telling embarrassing stories about Leonard's high school years. :D And the beginning of this very weird plan to rescue Caboose from O'Malley. And seeing the inside of people's heads. Or at least Caboose's head, which means a stupid Tucker and a Church who is even more foul-mouthed than Church himself plus he's Caboose's very best friend. Sarge the southern pirate. Donut the girl. Grif's yellow armor. 
Grif sounds almost impressed when he does the 1-2-3 count that he pulled on Simmons and realizes that Donut beat him at his own game. Unfortunately then he promptly gets run over by Sheila.
"Suck it, Blue!" 
I honestly love Lopez's love song to Sheila. He's such a romantic. 
Church is such a nerd. His insults are so bad. 
And the beginning of Doc and O'Malley's saga begins. Their juxtaposition is amazing. 
And the beginning of cyborg Simmons! I still love that even if Simmons instantly insults Grif, the fact remains that he went through surgery to save Grif's life. And he sounds genuinely worried when Grif starts coughing, right up until the point he figures out Grif is using his brand new replacement lungs to smoke. And Simmons trying to get Grif to eat healthy and stop smoking. Good luck with that, Simmons...
Simmons apparently likes to dance, if his fury over the assumed cancelled holiday party is any indication. That's a prompt for someone! 
Donut and Tucker are both the romantics of their team because Tucker thinks Sheila/Lopez is sweet, he just doesn't want to deal with love triangle bullshit.
Meanwhile Lopez and Sheila go on strike for machine rights and I for one support them wholeheartedly. 
Double O Donut! I love Donut and Grif's misadventures together. 
Tucker: "Sheila and Lopez are now considering leaving to form their own robot army. They said no one would dare oppose them." Church: "What?! Did you try to talk them out of it?" Tucker: "No way, I wouldn't dare oppose them!"
Poor Donut. He has no sense of direction. And poor Doc, stuck with O'Malley for company. 
Sarge talking about the entertainment value of being tortured. Sarge...what.... I'm not gonna kinkshame, but I'm definitely gonna think about kinkshaming Sarge. 
Donut and Caboose's truth or dare scene is so cute. They're such a fun dynamic. And I really wonder what Donut was gonna say about the Red Team plans until Church possesses him. And Church is immediately super chill in Donut's head, and wants to just relax and do some arts and crafts. And Donut considers Caboose his friend! And Caboose really likes Private Biscuit.
Church trying to bargain for two robots so he can have Tex back is sweet right in the middle of a ridiculous scene. And Donut being so excited for a sleepover with the Blues. 
I'm just saying, Sarge would make an excellent car salesman the way he's messing with the Blues over these robots. And Donut must be rubbing off on him, heh, because "I've been told my lube jobs are fantastic!" is definitely a Donut line.
Church using military lingo in one episode and then a handful later not understanding military time is such a Church thing.
Finally to the iconic Tucker line of Grif and Simmons. "It's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple. I've only been listening for like five minutes and I can already tell they're really in love. Why can't they see it?" And Church doesn't even bother to argue.
Tucker discovering Red vs Blue is a lie is still amazing. As in the ironic discussion, which I will always love. 
Donut's sarcasm when he realizes they're leaving him and Sheila behind to guard each base. Man versus tank. Should go well for him.
And set up for season three, which has some of my favorite team ups-- Sarge and Caboose, Grif and Church. That'll also be a fun rewatch. 
Time for the bonus features aka Outtakes, PSAs, and deleted scenes!
Honestly most of the PSAs this season weren't great, but the Fourth of July fireworks safety one did make me laugh. And it does have Donut with his Kiss the Cook apron!
Outtakes were okay, with the running theme of Burnie trying to explain adlibbing to everyone else, haha. Also "Great Caesar's Dressing!" is as catchy as "Great Caesar's Ghost!" And the outtake of Sarge being Hamlet. And Tarzan. And the Grif and Simmons audition tape was fun. 
Deleted scenes! Doc and Vic having some weird chemistry. Calling Doc hot and saying he missed him. And Doc complaining that no one likes him and that someone stole his wallet. Of course then Vic immediately gets mean. The others include Sarge and Grif prepping Simmons for cyborg surgery before Grif gets hurt and they actually go through with it, which mostly includes getting Simmons super drunk.  Sounds about right for Blood Gulch!
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nerianasims · 3 years
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Billboard #1s 1985
Under the cut.
Foreigner -- "I Want To Know What Love Is" -- February 2, 1985
One of the quintessential 80s power ballads. It's actually kind of interesting if you think about it enough. He's not in love yet, but he's gotten sick of not being in love, so he's asking someone he's in the pre-love stage with to show him. Though he's had "heartache and pain" before, and doesn't know if he can face it again. It's not consistent. I feel like it's a missed opportunity, but oh well. It's good enough for what it is.
Wham! -- "Careless Whisper" -- February 16, 1985
Oh my god I love the saxophone in this. The music throughout the song is so incredibly sexy. And this is the kind of song George Michael's voice was made for. He's totally capable of sounding both hot and in agony at the same time. I actually adore a whole lot of cheating songs -- mostly, though not exclusively, the tormented kind. Drama! Love! Sex! Angst! Gorgeous.
REO Speedwagon -- "Can't Fight This Feeling" -- March 9, 1985
<3. He keeps singing "r"s like a pirate, but he doesn't go as hard on the other consonants, so I'm good with it. Lyrically, this song sounds like it might be two songs mashed together. "What started out as friendship has grown stronger" or "my life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you." Well which is it? Except I've had that happen. I love this song.
Phil Collins -- "One More Night" -- March 30, 1985
This is a depressing heartbreak song without the saving grace of any of Phil Collins' neat drum stuff. Blah.
We Are the World -- April 13, 1985
Whoo boy. I was 8 when this came out. Obviously I loved it. All the kids loved it. Now, though... I'm sorry, but it's bad. Really bad. Many others have gone deeply into why it's bad. I feel acutely embarrassed listening to it, so I'm just running away from it as fast as possible. (Remember all those celebrities singing "Imagine" in their mansions in 2020? I blame this song for that.)
Madonna -- "Crazy For You" -- May 11, 1985
This is one of Madonna's most straightforward love songs. Maybe the most, period. This or "Cherish," and this is a better song. It's lovely. Like Olivia Newton-John, Madonna can act a song. (Unlike in most movies she's been in.) But what I'm thinking about now is learning in this article that her label wouldn't let Madonna release "Into the Groove" as a single. That song was huge. It was played on the radio all the time. If it had been released as a single, or maybe if Billboard had tracked songs then like it does today, it would have been a massive smash, definitely #1. "Into the Groove" is also the best song of her very early career. "Crazy for You" is good, but not nearly as special.
Simple Minds -- "Don't You Forget About Me" -- May 18, 1985
As I am "Gen X", I am supposed to deeply connect with The Breakfast Club. I was 8 years old when it came out. My life as a teenager was nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like that movie. I didn't recognize any of the "types." I liked the movie when I saw it in college, mostly, but the whole sexual harassment turns into a relationship deal was not seen as cool any longer. The "jocks vs. nerds" thing also felt very dated. The school in the movie was bigger and richer than mine, but it's a fantasy.
Anyway, though I don't feel much about the movie, its breakout song was really good. It does speak to a real fear both in graduating high school and during young adult relationships. I haven't forgotten the people I knew in high school, as far as I know, but obviously they don't have the same importance to me any longer. I'm Facebook friends with a lot of them. And very much not with a couple who were the most important then, because we grew apart -- or blasted apart. One of the nicest girls I knew in high school thinks there's a war on Christmas. Another keeps trying to get me to join her MLM. One of my best friends became my first boyfriend, and I don't regret that, but it was also a semi-disaster. And others... we just have nothing to say to each other any longer.
So, Breakfast Club: I don't connect with at all. "Don't You Forget About Me": Speaks to something very real and timeless.
Wham! -- "Everything She Wants" -- May 25, 1985
What a dick. Songs in which the narrator is a colossal jerk are perfectly fine, of course, but this one gets under my skin. He's whining about his wife getting pregnant when she's dissatisfied with their life and that they're broke. As if it's something she chose to do to him. She's stuck creating a whole other person with her blood and flesh, and he thinks it's all and entirely about him. I really hate it.
Tears for Fears -- "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" -- June 8, 1985
I can't hear this song without thinking of this Baldur's Gate fan trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdd06d2nids. Speaking of which, I am incredibly excited for Baldur's Gate 3. I've been reading the early access reviews on Steam, and anything anyone is saying that's negative is stuff I don't gaf about (except bugs), whereas the positive stuff, I care about deeply. I hope it's got some of the feeling of that trailer. Um, right, Tears for Fears.
Honestly, though, it works best as a Baldur's Gate theme song. I don't think everybody actually wants to rule the world. It sounds good though. And pretty different from other stuff around it. But I like Lorde's cover better, and not just because it fits so wonderfully with all sorts of fantasy stories.
I usually play a paladin or paladin-type the first time in fantasy RPGs, but I'm thinking bard this time.
Bryan Adams -- "Heaven" -- June 22, 1985
He's been with this woman since they were young, and while they've broken up and gone through rough patches, now they're together forever and they're "in heaven." Bryan Adams knew exactly how to write a song that would become a hit. I used to not mind it at all, but it also means nothing to me. The chorus is catchy as hell though. So catchy that I ended up waking up with it in my head and it would not leave for hours and hours, so now I resent this song.
Phil Collins -- "Sussudio" -- July 6, 1985
I refuse to believe anyone ever told Phil Collins he was too young. He was born middle-aged. Anyway, the narrator isn't supposed to be him, so it's fine, but it's still kinda funny. He's got a crush on someone who doesn't even know his name, but "she's all I need all of my life." Um. The music is repetitive, the drums aren't as interesting as Phil Collins at his best, and I don't like the lyrics. I don't hate it, but I don't like it either.
Duran Duran -- "View to a Kill" -- July 13, 1985
I'm not sure I've ever heard this song before. It's about as good a song as the Bond movie they wrote it for was as a movie. In other words, it's bad. I'm not even sure there's a melody. Just a mess. "Ordinary World" would have made a far better Bond theme, but of course that was the 90s, when Duran Duran decided to try to make sense both lyrically and musically.
Paul Young -- "Every Time You Go Away" -- July 27, 1985
I like the high keyboard notes in this. They're sort of haunting. The rest of the song is musically pretty good, too. Lyrically though, it's only passable. This woman keeps leaving him every time "the leading man" shows up, so I guess he's the backup. Why does he keep waiting for her anyway? There's no hint in the song. I'm kind of embarrassed for him.
Tears for Fears -- "Shout" -- August 3, 1985
I think "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" is a better song than this one when done by Lorde. But I think "Shout" is a better song than Tears for Fears' original iteration of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." The chorus seems clear enough. But the verses are not. "They gave you life/ And in return you gave them hell" makes sense in isolation, but then there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't go with it. Like "I'd really love to break your heart" -- wtf? But the music is really good. 
Huey Lewis and the News -- "The Power of Love" -- August 24, 1985
This was the big song for Back to the Future, and it meshed beautifully with the movie, but it doesn't need that association to be a great song. "Don't need money, don't take fame/ Don't need no credit card to ride this train/ It's strong and it's sudden, it can be cruel sometimes/ But it might just save your life." Yep. It's sort of Motown, sort of rock, and I love it. (Also: "Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream." Heh.)
John Parr -- "St. Elmo's Fire" -- August 24, 1985
Of all the John Hughes movies I have not seen and do not plan to see, St. Elmo's Fire sure is one of them. The song is about a disabled man who inspired people by rolling himself cross-country in his wheelchair for charity, which has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. I'm disabled, and I just... okay look, what he did was admirable. But we shouldn't have to be inspirations to be counted as worthwhile, and I've been told I should die because I can't produce for capitalism, so you know. I've got some personal issues with this and I'm gonna move along.
Dire Straits -- "Money for Nothing" -- September 21, 1985
This is not Dire Straits' best song, but it's an awfully fun one. I watched the video tons when I was a kid. (That sound is Tipper Gore falling to the floor in a dead faint.) The music is great rock. And the lyrics are very true-to-life. You can either sanitize people or present them as they are honestly, and I know which I prefer.
Ready for the World -- "Oh Sheila" -- October 12, 1985
The band's from Michigan. The English accent at the beginning of the song is fake. That's a good preview for the song, which sounds like a 3rd-rate Prince knockoff at best. Blech.
a-ha -- "Take On Me" -- October 19, 1985
The video totally ripped off one of my aunts. Somehow or other, they saw into the little comic she drew for me about someone going into a land of drawings to rescue someone else in a romantic adventure, years before 1985. Anyway, this song is great musically, massively synthesizer heavy without sounding artificial. Though I can only understand maybe a third of the lyrics as he sings them. I've always understood "It's no better to be safe than sorry" though. Yep, at least when it comes to romance, which is what they're singing about here.
Whitney Houston -- "Saving All My Love for You" -- October 26, 1985
It's not better to be safe than sorry, but that doesn't mean it's good to be an absolute idiot in matters of romance either. Nor is it good to be a colossal jerk. That's what the narrator is here -- the "you" she's singing to is married. And he won't leave his wife and children, though he used to say he would. The lyrics seem to say that's she's accepted the situation, but the way Houston sings it, I think the narrator's trying to get him to leave his wife -- and children -- for her still. This makes sense, as it puts some kind of passion and sense of story into the song, which without Houston's singing would not be there. The narrator certainly never acknowledges that what she's doing is wrong in the slightest iota. This song could be done in a way that works. But it's a completely sincere ballad. So, no. I despise the narrator, I despise the man she's singing to more, and the whole thing leaves me feeling gross.
Stevie Wonder -- "Part Time Lover" -- November 2, 1985
No one's thinking anyone's gonna leave anyone in this one. It's about cheating, and the thrill of it, but then at the end, he's found out his wife's cheating on him too. "I guess that two can play the game/ Of part-time lovers." This kind of funk groove is one way you make a song like this. It makes the whole thing sexy and fun, and the lyrics also work even beyond that ending, because they acknowledge it's wrong.
Jon Hammer -- "Miami Vice Theme" -- November 9, 1985
My parents didn't watch Miami Vice. And then I never felt like watching it in re-runs when I got older. I don't recognize this song. It's an energetic instrumental, but there's so much going on, I keep trying to figure out if there's a main musical idea anywhere. Nope. Just lots and lots of synth. Headache-inducing.
Starship -- "We Built This City" -- November 16, 1985
Blech. This song sounds both unfinished and overproduced somehow. The chorus seems designed to be catchy with absolute ruthlessness by people who didn't really care, and no one involved even seems to want to bother to fake it.
Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin -- "Separate Lives" -- November 30, 1985
This is supposed to be heart-wrenchingly sad. Well, it does tank my dopamine, but that's not what a good sad song does. A good sad song makes you feel better. This one makes me need to turn on something high-energy after about 30 seconds, before I sink into bleakness. It's aggressively boring.
Mr. Mister -- "Broken Wings" -- December 7, 1985
This was one of the first songs I recorded from the radio. On my pink tape deck/radio that was a sort of a mini boom box. I've always had my own tape player since I can remember, but that was a definite upgrade from the Sesame Street one. I was 9 then, so getting more seriously into music and developing my own taste intentionally, rather than simply absorbing what was happening around me.
Anyway, the song. It's about a relationship in trouble, and he wants to stay with her. To me it sounds like she has been so seriously hurt (and not by him), that she can't trust anyone, and he's laying himself on the line for her. That has spoken to me deeply ever since I first heard the song as a child. Moving on to the music: While the lyrics are repetitive, the music is not, which is what makes the song so good. It's a beautiful song.
Lionel Richie -- "Say You, Say Me" -- December 21, 1985
I look forward to Lionel Richie no longer being on the charts. This song was on the soundtrack of some movie I've never heard of. I wish I'd never heard of the song. Totally artificial glop.
BEST OF 1985: "Don't You Forget About Me" by Simple Minds  WORST OF 1985: "We Built This City" by Starship
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dykecadence · 5 years
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A Dissertation to Prove that Alice Quinn from The Magicians is a Lesbian Experiencing Comp-Het
some of my twitter friends requested i post this on here so @alicequinnlove i hope this is good! (keep in mind this was written before the second half of season 4 so some things are out of date)
1. Her attraction to Quentin as compulsive heterosexuality
Alice only expresses attraction to Q once he has expressed attraction to her
Jumping into a relationship with the first guy to show interest in her despite knowing they don’t necessarily work (and that she is better than him)
Never feels sexual fulfillment in their relationship (until that one ep) but not saying anything about it
Rebounding quickly with another guy after Q cheats as if she is trying to prove something to herself/him
Every time she talks about sexual encounters before Q she says they were all uncomfortable and very impersonal
Look, as someone who struggled with comp-het for a LONG time and has dated guys because of it… Q is exactly the type of soft, nerd boy that is perfect for closeted lesbians to try and date as a means of making themselves seem straight. He’s non-threatening and when you don’t want to confront your sexuality it can be easy to trick yourself into getting crushes or turning friendships into something more.
Not entirely supporting my point because I do think opposite sex friendships are very important but; the fact that Alice was far more upset about her trust being broken and losing one of her best friends than the relationship ending
2. Her inherent unease around other women
Alice is uncomfortable around other women but not because she feels threatened by them. In fact, we don’t really know why she’s so uncomfortable with them at first.
Alice has no close female friends thus the way she views her interactions with women is skewed through Hetero Goggles
She would have no frame of reference for determining if there is a difference in her feelings toward women/patricular women
With Margo in particular, Alice is uneasy which I would chalk up to:
Margo compliments Alice/her body often
Margo being so comfortable with herself
Margo blatantly flirting with her at times
They have tension
I mean…… Margo/Alice Rights!
3. Magic often functions as an allegory for The Gay
Alice has always felt out of place
She fears her own “magic”
Her family didn’t teach her any magic she had to find it on her own
Magical found family narratives are for the gays only
Unaware of her own potential, still hasn’t unlocked it
She holds herself back in her magic, just as she does in every other aspect of life
4. Sex in this show is barely ever just sex
Basically everyone in this show uses sex as a coping mechanism
Especially Alice
Alice sleeps with Q because she’s stressed and worked up in Brakebills South
People had also been telling them to sleep together or speculating the would for months
She may have felt like it was what she was supposed to do
Her immediate distrust of the truth of her feelings once they get back is not something you would expect from someone who is getting what they want
She often says, “I love you” to Q but never says that she is “in love” with him. An important distinction as this show displays many different forms of love.
Alice sleeps with Penny when Q cheats. Why does she do this? To get back at him presumably but I don’t think she’s that petty. I think it was insecurity. Her trying to prove herself to herself.
Alice kisses Q/has sex with Q post-break up only in emotionally intense scenarios where she is overwhelmed by grief, power, or both.
Kissing him at the tree
Having sex with him when she gets back from being a Niffin
Carriage ride to the fight with the Beast
5. Alice has never really had friends
Her experience with comp-het and her inexperience with friendship would very likely lead her to misattribute close feelings of friendship with attraction.
I have personal experience with this so I feel this assumption is justified
Since she knows so few people and Q is the only one she has a close/friendly relationship with she clearly feels the strongest connection to him
She instinctively distrusts everyone and doesn’t let people in easily so it would be hard to know her true feelings
If we could see her in a close female friendship in this show I think she would bond quickly and strongly (as she did with Sheila)
It’s not that she doesn’t want friends, it’s that she has a hard time letting her walls down which ~gay~
It would be invaluable to see her have a close female friendship as we could compare that to her season 1 interactions with Quentin and decipher her behavior
Her few friendly interactions with Margo had a lot of tension before she and Q got together
6. Alice has not expressed attraction to anyone since her last encounter with Q in (I think) late season 2.
This encounter was an instance of sex not just being sex. It was her being overwhelmed after coming back from being a Niffin and seeking comfort/distraction in something familiar i.e. Quentin
Since then she has:
Not expressed in interest in getting back with Q
Not had sex with anyone
Not mentioned an attraction to anyone
Made no insinuation of lingering romantic feelings for anyone she has previously been involved with (with the exception of Timeline23!Alice but as she is not Our Alice she is not relevant)
Her attraction to and intimate interactions with Q have been nothing more than physical since season 1
They have slept together again multiple times but it was always because of some bigger emotional turmoil and not love
She said she didn’t want to get back together with him after the threesome and I think (in terms of a real relationship) she means that
But she used sex as a coping mechanism since Q was familiar/her closest friend and it made her feel like herself
I don’t think either of them have had genuine romantic feelings for each other for a while but U believe Alice’s went away faster (because she never really had them due to comp-het)
7. Gay Coding
A lot of aspects of this show are unambiguously queer-coded
There is no such thing as gay panic in this show so there is no need to be weirded out over gay stuff and if you are you are portrayed as the weird one (ex. Hymen)
Alice’s cold intelligence and manner is pretty lesbian coded
Her style is high femme and I will not be told otherwise
8. This doesn’t fit into a particular spot but… 
When Q mentions the dream that Penny walked in to involving her and Julia kissing, her problem was not with herself kissing another girl or even that it was a kinda gross fantasy for Q but rather that Q was thinking about his former crush alongside her.
She doesn’t dwell on the gay of it all just the fact that Q is subconsciously thinking of his old crush
9. I would argue that Alice’s inability to find sexual pleasure with Q (until that one ep) is a ~problem~ on both of their parts.
Partially due to Quentin having no clue what to do
But I think mostly due to the fact that she doesn’t really feel sexually attracted to him
The one time it is “fulfilling” to them it is because they are trying to get Penny back
Alice is determined to get shit done so I’m sure she is capable of…. Fulfilling her part in getting Penny back even if she didn’t really feel as much as she should
As I’ve said, they never really have sex just because, there’s always an external factor (as far as we the viewer are aware)
10. She had more chemistry with Penny than with Q despite “loving” him
11. Her previous experiences
She was standing up and at a party for all of them according to her
These interactions are:
Impersonal
Likely the result of alcohol
Clearly not fond memories
12. Niffin!Alice and Dark!Willow are Very Similar in quite a few ways, enough said
13. Her feelings for Quentin feel like the “I’ve decided to have a crush now”
As I said, she only expresses interest in him once he has expressed interest in her
Crush comes out of nowhere
She seemed very professional with Q at first
She skips friendship and goes straight for crush
But the crush was really friendship
Her romantic feelings for him are contingent on how emotional she is
14. Alice awkwardly avoiding talking about the Incubus’ penis
She doesn’t wanna say penis lmao
15. New Addition: “But she and Q got back together!”
I felt the need to address this additional point and why it doesn’t effect my theory.
Once Alice left The Library she was a prop for the rest of the season.
Logically they have no reason to get back together as they’ve both been growing far more on their own than they did together.
I think her going back to him only serves to prove she is only with him because she desperately wants to feel loved even if she doesn’t quite understand her own feelings
Alice is reaching out to reconnect with Q in an attempt to gain some of her old self back
She knows she cares for him and that he cares for her and she automatically assumes that romance is the logical answer for those feelings
It’s comp-het babey
Them getting back together was a cheap ploy to add more emotional weight to Q’s death
If anything I feel it supports this theory
In conclusion, Alice Quinn is a lesbian. Send tweet
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quilloftheclouds · 5 years
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Heyo Nd happy STS! What d&d class and race would your characters be?
Hey!! Happy Storyteller Saturday!
Ooohhh, stars. You’re getting the nerd in me talking, now. Have some out-of-context spoilers!
Colin would be a bard. No surprise, there! As for race, hmmm… He might be the human of the group, maybe? A cursed human. Oh, spoilers, but uh… Colin might be a misunderstood werewolf.
Which would be amazing for getting along with tabaxi Celestine. Either that, or a gnome. Her class would likely be rogue! Also no surprises there. Except she actually might be a multi class with sorcerer. What?
Dione would be a druid or a wizard, I’m not sure. Her interest in literature and dedication to science and studying would definitely fit a wizard better, but she has such a connection to nature and healing, and her magic is so difficult to control, that druid would also fit? She would be a wood elf, the original design she was based on was an elf, so yeah. 
Ah, Phoenix. Do I go the easy way out and say half-orc fighter? Paladin? Hum. She’d be a softie of a half-orc, though. Extraordinarily high charisma there. But I’m all for unconventional D&D characters.
Side characters because I’m still going:
Captain Io would be a halfling fighter, possibly a sorcerer as well. She’d be in the King/Queen’s Guard, no doubt. Isabel would also be a fighter. Still a pirate, maybe human as well? I could see George and Sheila as a half-orc and his human mother. Sheila’d be an NPC prolly, and George might be a fighter friend of Isabel’s. Alix would be an aasimar wizard or paladin. Rose would be a half-elf rogue or berserker. How intriguing!
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quirrel · 5 years
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I have some Jojo aus I’d really like to work on but I’m too busy or too lazy to do it so I’m just gonna dump them here (My English is terrible so please be nice asdfasdf)
Passione Dance Academy AU (Gionara) (All of them are two years older than they are in canon)
Note: I know nothing how dance academies work and I gotta learn before I write this but here’s what I got so far
Bruno and Abbacchio are teachers, Bruno teaches breakdance/hip hop and Abbacchio teaches ballet, they’re roommates, they’re not together as a couple yet but it’s mostly because Abba is a dumbass
Narancia lives with his uncle Formaggio (yes, uncle), they started to live together after Narancia’s mother died and his father neglected him, they don’t hate each other but Formaggio doesn’t really stay at home enough time to bond with Narancia, they also have like 5 cats
Fugo lives with Bruno and Abbacchio after his parents threw him away, but surprise! Fugo’s grandma is alive and well and she sends him cash for stuff he needs, she also visits him every now and then so his family won’t find out
Mista lives alone in a tiny apartment, he befriended the family of 6 mice that live in the air vent
Trish is the daughter of the headmaster Diavolo, they don’t really bond too much and mostly spends her time with her uncle Vinnegar
Giorno was adopted by Jonathan and Erina when he was 8 after Dio disappeared, he has a decent relationship with them and the rest of the Joestar but addresses Jonathan and Erina as his uncle and aunt rather and not as his parents (This will change as the story progresses)
Mista, Fugo, and Narancia study with Bruno while Giorno and Trish study with Abbacchio
I’m not really sure how the story would go because I want drama and romance and goofiness in it, I just know the three nerds saw Giorno and Trish in a performance made by the school, they don’t really talk to each other until one day after classes the three nerds see Trish throwing hands with a dumbass (she was winning) and they go help her to take him down, she’s still a bit shaken after it so they ask her if she wants company till her uncle comes and gets her, that’s how their friendship starts, she mostly visits him in their classroom because her classes finish first, she knew Bruno because he visits her ballet classes to see Abbachio so he lets her stay and see the class, but one day she has to stay late fo rehearse some things with her classmates so the three nerds go to her class instead, that’s when they meet Giorno (Fugo already knew him, he also knew Trish too but only from sight cause they used to attend the same school), Narancia already thought Giorno’s perfomance was good in that show the school had but seeing it closer he thought it was the most beautiful thing he could’ve seen, thus start Narancia’s crush on Giorno and the shenanigans of a bunch of friends who love to dance
Also, I might involve mafia things in here too but I’m not sure yet asdasdfa
Reimi survived Kira’s attack AU 
Everything is the same AU except Reimi never died
She was attacked by Kira, yes, but she and Rohan managed to survive, she has ugly scars in her back but that’s only it
Arnold also survives but he dies of old age
They never got to see Kira’s face, after leaving the hospital they stayed in Morioh for a couple of years and so, she still was Rohan’s babysitter, also baby Rohan considered Reimi his hero
Reimi still was a nervous wreck after the attack, so her parents decided to move from Morioh, it made baby Rohan sad but she and Reimi became pen pals for a while until their lifestyles started to take away their time to write cards
Reimi’s will to survive and strength to continue with her life after the attack gave her a stand, I still don’t have a name for it but it works like the cursed alley of Morioh, if Reimi is standing in a closed space/hallway she can activate her stand and drag someone’s soul to wherever the cursed hallway sends them
She became a private investigator and helped to solve a lot of cases, she also became some sort of vigilante, saving people with her stand
Years later she got a card from Rohan, where he told her he was moving to Morioh and would like to catch up with her, Reimi is happy to hear about her old friend, but also worried, because of all the disappearances in Morioh, she believes it might be connected to the one who attacked her when she was younger, so she takes this as an excuse to not only visit Rohan but to find out the truth about all the disappearances
She appears a bit after Rohan is introduced, I don’t know, I just like the idea of Rohan having an actual person he cares about, she’s like a big sister figure to him and everyone is super confused, Rohan is supposed to hate everyone and everything, seeing him getting along with a nice and gentle woman is so weird and confusing. I also like the idea of Reimi being super disappointed on him for treating everyone in Morioh the way he does. Rohan also never uses Heaven’s door on Reimi, not only due to respect to her (and because it gives them time to sit down and talk) but because he believes she knows nothing about stands, Reimi also doesn’t know everyone else has stands but she eventually finds out before Rohan can even tell her lol, also everyone else in Morioh never tells her Rohan also has a stand
The arc with Cheap Trick happens like it does but Reimi helps Rohan, finally revealing her stand to him (Rohan: You had a stand this whole time?! | Koichi: Wait, you didn’t know? | Rohan: DID YOU TELL KOICHI FIRST AND NOT ME?! | Reimi: Actually uh, everyone else knows about it | Rohan: *BETRAYED GASP*) Reimi also reveals her true intention for coming back to Morioh, so she finally informs the gang about the things she had been investigating
Touhou AU
Everyone has cute puffy dresses, Idk I just wanna draw the Jojo characters with Touhou aesthetics and all that jazz
Giorno is helped by a small kid the same way he helped that gangster when he was younger AU  (All of them are seven years older than they are in canon) (I’m tempted to make it Gionara but I’m not really sure)
I’m not sure how it happens yet, but it happens, except Giorno is more present in that kid’s life and in the end he adopts the kid and everyone loves the small child *cries*
The entire Stone Ocean Story except Annasui is a woman and is actually nicer AU
Let’s call her Anne Sue to not make it too complicated
She ended up in jail after killing her ex-boyfriend, it was in self-defense but she panicked and ended up stabbing him more than she originally intended to, the jury ended up sending her to jail because of it
She and Jolyne don’t get along at first but after defeating their first enemy together they become friends, and as the story progresses they fall in love
She’s actually nicer and not creep like Annasui, she and F.F. become besties, Weather and her are like siblings, she also gets along with Hermes but there’s some rivalry between them after they both ended up in a tie after a competition of who can eat more chillis
She can be a bit bad tempered, especially when a situation becomes more and more stressful, but she’s usually good at keeping herself focused until whatever was going on is done
She likes to dismantle things too
She panics when she meets Jotaro and blurts out “Please let me marry your daughter!” Then regrets it because she never properly confessed to Jolyne before lmao
Jojo Macross AU (SheiTrish) (All of them are three years older than they are in canon)
I,,,,,,,,, Really love Macross Frontier,,,,,,
Trish is a famous Pop Star known across the entire universe, her stage name is “Mafia Queen” or something like that, her aesthetic changes a lot
Sheila E. is a pilot in training along Fugo, Mista and Narancia, they took the job to be in Trish’s concert so they can fly around and do some air acrobatics
Pericolo is Trish’s manager and he wants Trish to interact with more people her age in a normal way so he asks Sheila E. and the three nerds to hang out with Trish
Everything is a mess, not only the guys managed to embarrass themselves in front of Trish, they kinda made her uncomfortable, so Sheila (who hasn’t spoken too much from the beginning) ask Trish if she wanna go somewhere else without the nerds, Trish accepts and so they leave them behind
Sheila sends them a text later so they won’t worry (Also because she needs the job and doesn’t want Pericolo to think she kidnapped Trish)
The girls have fun and that's how the story starts
I still don’t have much on this one, except later in the story they find out Trish’s voice has the same power Ranka’s voice had and she ends up helping the pilots in order to defeat the [Enemy Alien space of turn] 
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One week later
The Bellas headed to New York for the ICCA finals. They'd been practicing a lot, and Beca was convinced her arrangement for their set was her best yet. She was extra excited to be standing next to her girlfriend for almost the entire set, and even more excited to be sharing a hotel room with her. Ever since the first time they'd made love, sex with Chloe had become her favorite thing, makeout sessions becoming a close second.
The Bellas ended up getting first place, and the Trebles took third. All of the Bellas except Emily were graduating, so they were thrilled to have graduated Barden as a capella champions!
As the Bellas were on stage to receive their trophy, Chloe pulled Beca in for a deep kiss. As Beca pulled away, she caught Jesse's eye. His expression was one of extreme shock. Beca smirked to herself. She thought it served him right to see she'd moved on.
Two weeks later
It was the day of their graduation, and Beca and Chloe met their fellow graduating Bellas outside the auditorium at Barden University. Emily took all of their phones and took multiple group pictures of the Bellas in their green caps and gowns. She hugged every single graduating Bella before taking a seat in the auditorium.
The graduation ceremony was a blur. Both Beca and Chloe were excited to be done at Barden University, but they knew they'd miss their fellow Bellas. Chloe had secured a job as a vet tech, and Beca continued working as an intern until she could find a full-time position.
Chloe excitedly introduced Beca to her parents.
"Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend Beca."
Beca went to shake their hands, only to be wrapped in a huge hug by the two of them. She smiled. Apparently, Chloe came by her hugging habit honestly.
"It's nice to meet you." She saw her parents and stepmother walk up.
"Mom, this is my girlfriend Chloe. Mr. and Mrs. Beale, this is my mom, Ellen, my dad, Francis, and my stepmom, Sheila."
The Beales wrapped the Mitchells in hugs, taking them by surprise. "Get used to it, guys. All the Beales like to hug," said Beca with a chuckle.
"Will you be joining us in Tampa next week for Chloe's graduation and birthday parties?" asked Mrs. Beale.
"Yeah, I think so. Chloe asked me this morning," said Beca. "I have to check with my internship, but it should be fine."
"We're looking forward to it."
Beca had nervously accepted Chloe's invitation to accompany her to Tampa the next week. The relationship was still very new, but she knew things were already very serious with Chloe. She wanted to make a good impression.
Beca's dad and stepmother had a big graduation party for her with a lot of her extended family at their house the next day. They'd even managed to coordinate things with Beca's mother. It was a big day, but Chloe fit right in with Beca's family as though she'd known them for years.
One week later
The two of them had decided they'd drive down to Tampa in Chloe's car to save money. It was only about a six or seven-hour drive. They spent a lot of the drive listening to Beca's music mixes and chatting. Beca brought up a serious topic at one point.
"So, Chloe, were your parents bothered by the fact that we're dating?"
"I don't think so. Why?"
"You said I was the first girl you'd dated."
"Yeah, but my parents didn't really even comment about you being a girl when I asked if I could bring my girlfriend home with me for the graduation and birthday parties."
"They didn't?"
"No, my mom just asked me what your name was and if you had any dietary needs."
"Oh. Really?"
"Yeah, that was it."
"That's really cool. I think it took my dad and Sheila some time to process things, but at least they'd gotten things figured out in their heads before you came over for my birthday. My mom wasn't surprised at all when I told her I had a girlfriend. She told me I'd talked to her enough about various girls in high school that she knew I was bi before I did."
"That's cool. So, you have nothing to worry about, okay?"
"Okay."
Chloe's parents greeted them warmly when they arrived a few hours later. Her father took Beca's bags. "I'll take these up to Chloe's room for you," he said.
"So, where do I sleep, Dad?" asked Chloe.
"We just assumed you two would share your room," said her mom. "Is that not what you want? I could make up the guest room." Her mother's expression changed to one of concern.
Chloe blushed. "No, sharing the bed is fine. I just wasn't sure what you would think of that."
"Relax, Chloe. You're both adults. I'm not that out of touch."
"Just keep the screaming to a minimum," said Chloe's dad.
"Gross, Dad!" exclaimed Chloe, laughing.
Beca grew redder and redder at this exchange. Her family wasn't nearly this open about sex, and it was a little strange to see Chloe joke with her parents about it.
When they were alone in Chloe's room, the two sat on the bed.
"Is your family always this open?" asked Beca.
"About sex?" asked Chloe. Beca nodded.
"Yeah, I guess. I am a little surprised they had just figured we'd want to share a bed, but I never got the 'wait until you're married' speech. My parents told me sex was healthy and natural, but it was also a big decision. I actually came to my mom before I'd ever had sex with my first boyfriend. She took me to the doctor and got me on the pill."
"Wow," said Beca. "How old were you?"
"16. I'd been dating the guy since the beginning of our sophomore year. We ended up doing it on prom night in our junior year. Cliche, I know."
"I think it's sweet. My parents told me I could talk to them about sex, but I never felt comfortable doing so. They probably figure I slept with Jesse because we were together for so long, but I never told them."
"I'm sorry you felt that way with your parents."
"It's okay."
Chloe turned so she was straddling Beca in her lap and started to give her a deep kiss. Beca returned the kiss but pulled back before things could go further. "Chloe, not now."
"Why not?" asked Chloe with a pout.
"I realize your parents are okay with this, but I'm not terribly comfortable doing it in the middle of the afternoon when anyone could walk in."
"My door locks."
"Chloe, seriously. Can it wait until tonight?"
"If you say so, but I'm holding you to it."
Beca gave Chloe a chaste kiss. "You got it. Now, let's unpack a few things and then go downstairs and join your family. I want to spend some time getting to know your parents before tomorrow's party."
The two headed downstairs to talk to Chloe's parents. "So, Chloe tells me she was a figure skater when she was a kid," said Beca.
"Oh, yes," said Chloe's mom. "She saw Tara Lipinski win the Olympics when she was a little girl, and she begged us to enroll her in skating lessons as soon as we could."
"Do you have any pictures?" asked Beca.
"I thought you'd never ask," said Chloe's mom as she pulled a photo album off the bookshelf. She flipped a few pages before handing the book to Beca. "Here."
Beca saw a little girl missing her two front teeth with two red curly pigtails smiling in a bright blue figure skating dress with a silver medal around her neck. "Chloe, when was this?"
Chloe thought for a minute. "I think that was my first season competing, so I was 8, I guess. I got silver in the skating rink's competition."
"That's so cute!"
Chloe took the book from Beca and flipped a few more pages. "Here's where I won gold in the state competition when I was 10. My front teeth had grown in by then, and I'd graduated from pigtails to a bun."
"That's adorable. I bet you felt really grown up then."
"I'm sure I did."
"So, when did you stop competing?"
"Just before I started high school. I still loved skating, but I didn't want to dedicate my life to the sport. I joined the school choir and dance team. No regrets. It's probably why the Bellas seemed like an obvious choice for me."
"I'm glad. You know I only joined the Bellas because of an agreement with my dad, right?"
Chloe shook her head. "What agreement?"
"Well, when I graduated high school, I didn't want to go to college. My mom didn't have much money after she and my dad split. I wanted to move to LA and be a music producer, but I didn't have the money to do it myself. My mom couldn't help me either. I could go to Barden for free, seeing as he teaches there, so my dad said he'd help me move to LA if I gave college a try for a year. I couldn't just enroll. I had to attend classes and get decent grades, and he insisted I join one club to really experience college. I liked singing, so I auditioned for a capella. The High Notes also invited me to join, but I didn't think my dad would count my joining a bunch of singing potheads as a real club."
Chloe laughed. "No, probably not. I should thank your dad for insisting you join a club."
"He'd probably get a kick out of that."
"So, what made you stay?"
"Well, my dad was right. I really liked college once I'd joined the group. You nerds really had a hold of my heart. And, honestly, getting a degree is really going to help. I learned a lot that's really going to help me become a producer."
"Do you still want to move to LA?"
"I do, but not yet."
"Why not?"
"I want to see if my internship in Georgia becomes a real job first. My dad and Sheila and Sam are there. I hardly saw my dad because of how far away he moved when he and my mom divorced, and we're making up for lost time. And, you're in Georgia."
"Beca, I'm sure there is a need for vets and vet techs in LA."
"I know, but you have a job, and all I still have is an internship."
"Okay, but please talk to me if you ever want to move there. We'll figure it out together."
Beca gave a shy smile. "I will."
Chloe's mom joined the conversation. "So, Beca, do you have any pictures of Sam? He's your stepbrother, right?"
Beca flipped through her phone and found a selfie Sam had taken of them when she and Chloe had taken him to an arcade.
"He's adorable."
"Yeah, he's a great kid."
"How old is he? Do you see him a lot?"
"He's ten, and he's always there when I visit my dad and Sheila. I try and visit every week or so. His father died when he was two, so he lives with my dad and Sheila full-time."
"It must be rough for him to not even remember his father."
"I guess it is. To be honest, I haven't brought up the topic with him. My dad has really stepped in and filled the role, though. Sheila keeps pictures of Sam and his father around the house, so I think that probably helps too."
"And it sounds like you're quite the big sister."
"I guess. I love the little dude, but we haven't really lived together. We're close, though. As you can see, Chloe doesn't mind bringing him along sometimes."
"Well, we're glad. We hope to meet him sometime."
"Yeah, it was a shame the graduation was when he was in school. There was some standardized test he couldn't get out of taking. He was so disappointed, but I honestly think he would have had a hard time sitting still through a four-hour ceremony."
"I bet."
Chloe's mom made her daughter's favorite lasagna recipe for dinner. Beca declared it the best lasagna ever. The family spent the evening getting to know Beca and playing board games. Chloe was really competitive, and she made a big show of doing victory dances any time she won a game. Beca couldn't help but chuckle. Chloe was too cute, and she was sure the ass-shaking was done to torment her girlfriend for insisting they wait until the evening to have sex.
At the party, Beca was surprised to see that the graduation cake also had her name on it. They'd even spelled it correctly.
Beca spent the party right next to Chloe, and Chloe proudly introduced Beca to all of her relatives as her girlfriend. Beca was unusually quiet at the party, but she promised Chloe she was okay. Beca didn't have nearly as big a family as Chloe. Chloe was an only child like Beca, but she had a lot of cousins, aunts, uncles, great aunts, and great uncles. Her parents and grandparents each had several siblings. Chloe's mother had had some complications with her pregnancy and had been advised not to have any more children after Chloe. A few of her great (or not-so-great, as Chloe would sometimes say) uncles and aunts made a few faces and some inappropriate remarks about Chloe dating a girl, but the two graduates ignored them.
One crazy uncle made the most ridiculous comment of all, and it had nothing to do with Chloe dating a girl. He asked Chloe what she was going to do now that she'd graduated.
"Well, I just got a job," she said.
"You're not going to college?" said Uncle Jim.
"Uncle Jim, this is my college graduation party!" said Chloe.
"Uncle Jim, I told you that last week!" said Chloe's dad. Uncle Jim simply shrugged and walked toward the food to get another plate.
"Chloe, was he kidding?" asked Beca.
"No, I don't think so."
"How did he not realize this was your college graduation party?"
"I'm not sure. I know it was on the invitations my parents sent. Maybe he mixed me up with one of my cousins."
"Weird," said Beca.
"At least he didn't ask me why I was dating a girl."
"Maybe he didn't notice."
"Anything's possible," said Chloe.
Chloe had a great time showing Beca around Tampa, and the two had even taken a couple of days to visit the Disney parks. Beca had never been before. Chloe convinced Beca to ride It's A Small World, and Beca told her she would be singing it that night if the song wouldn't leave her head by then. Beca got Chloe to ride Space Mountain, and Chloe spent a lot of the ride screaming and clinging to Beca. Beca wasn't entirely convinced Chloe wasn't acting extra scared as an excuse to hang onto her.
Beca felt like a member of their family by the time they'd left Florida, save for trying to remember which of Chloe's cousins was which and who belonged to who. Chloe admitted she wasn't even sure about some of them herself.
After returning to Georgia, Beca and Chloe were together nearly every night. They spent most evenings at Beca's because Fat Amy had practically moved in with Bumper. Beca had even cleared a dresser drawer and some closet space for Chloe so she wouldn't have to bring an overnight bag all the time.
One night when they'd had plans, Chloe had to work late at the animal hospital. There was an emergency with a patient, and they needed all hands on deck. Beca immediately understood and told Chloe she'd see her the next day.
Shortly after dinner, Beca got a call from a number she didn't recognize. She picked it up and was surprised to hear Jesse on the line. He was away on vacation with the Treblemakers and was very drunk. He had just gotten a new phone. Beca was lonely and missing Chloe, so she let him ramble. He babbled on a bit about his trip with the Trebles for a bit before moving on to a more pathetic topic of conversation.
"I miss you," he said.
"I can't say the same about you," she said.
"You know this thing with Chloe is a rebound, right?" said Jesse. Beca smirked when she remembered the shocked look on his face when he'd seen her kissing Chloe at the ICCA finals.
"It isn't. We have real feelings for each other. This is serious," said Beca.
"Well, to me, it's a rebound," said Jesse. Beca rolled her eyes. Since when did I ask for his opinion? she thought.
"It's not," said Beca.
"So, what, are you gay now?"
"Bi, if you must know. I still like men. Just, not you."
"I'm still attracted to you," said Jesse.
"That's not my concern," said Beca angrily.
"I still think of you when I-"
Beca cut him off. "Gross, Jesse!" She shuddered at the thought.
"Have you slept with her yet?" asked Jesse.
"None of your business."
"So, that means yes. Is she better than me?" Beca was annoyed, but Jesse was correct in his guess.
"Of course."
"Oh. Really?"
"Yeah. She's amazing, but she wouldn't appreciate it if I went into detail about it."
Jesse changed the subject. "You know I didn't mean to break up with you that night," said Jesse. "I meant 'This is your last chance. Don't fuck it up.'"
"What?" asked Beca.
"Yeah, I was going to give you one more chance," said Jesse. Beca wasn't even sure what Jesse even meant by "one more chance." One more chance to do what? She wasn't even going to ask.
"Well, it doesn't matter. I'm a lot happier now that we're through."
Beca's call waiting beeped. It was Benji. "Is Jesse bothering you?"
"Yeah, but I can handle it," said Beca.
"Are you sure? I would have stopped him if I'd realized he was drunk dialing you."
"Thanks, but I can get him to hang up," said Beca.
"Okay, but contact me if he won't stop bugging you," said Benji.
"Sure will," said Beca before hanging up. Jesse was still on the line.
"I'm sorry," he slurred. Beca decided she'd had enough.
"That's enough, Jesse. We're through. You broke up with me. Now go away." She hung up. Luckily for her, Jesse didn't call back.
The next morning, Beca woke up to an e-mail from Jesse titled "Stupid Drunk Loser." She generally ignored all of Jesse's attempts to contact her, but this was too delicious not to read.
From: Asshole To: Awesome DJ
Subject: Stupid Drunk Loser
I'm really sorry for bothering you last night. I'd had too much to drink, and I missed you. I should have had someone take my phone away. I'm not sure what I said, but I regret all of it. I miss you, but I'm trying to respect your wishes and leave you alone.
I still want to be friends someday, though.
Sorry again,
Jesse
Beca made sure to block Jesse's new phone number, just in case he did something stupid again. She entertained the thought of sending him a short reply, but she decided against it.
Beca went to Chloe's apartment that night. Aubrey had invited Stacie over as well, and they'd decided to make it a double date and eat dinner together. Chloe made her mom's lasagna recipe because Beca had liked it so much when they were in Florida.
"So, Chloe, what happened at the clinic last night?" asked Beca.
"Oh, it was awful. This guy brought in his dog. He wasn't eating and had been vomiting. We did x-rays and found something in his stomach. Dr. Kelly had to open him up. It was a long sock."
"The poor thing!" exclaimed Stacie. "How did he get that?"
"I think the guy said he had three daughters, all of whom play soccer, so it was either a soccer sock or a knee-high girl's sock."
"Oh my goodness! I bet those girls are getting a lecture about leaving their socks on the floor," said Aubrey."
"I'm sure they are. Dr. Kelly said she would be going over some ideas to keep Baxter away from the socks as well."
"Is he okay now?" asked Beca.
"He will be. Dr. Kelly is going to keep him at the clinic for a few days to monitor him, but I think he's out of the woods now."
"That's great," said Stacie. "So, Beca, what did you do with your free night?"
"Well, believe it or not, I was talking to Jesse."
Chloe looked at Beca somewhat angrily. "What?"
"Chloe, relax, it's not what you think. He drunk-dialed me."
"I thought you blocked his number," said Chloe.
"He got a new phone and number. The new one's blocked now."
"Did you hang up on him?" asked Aubrey.
"No," said Beca with a sigh. "I was lonely and missing Chloe. I didn't know he was the one calling, and I guess curiosity got the better of me when I realized he was drunk off of his ass."
Beca looked to see her friends all just looking at her with shocked faces. She went on to tell them the short version of their conversation.
"He sent me this e-mail this morning. I didn't reply." She pulled up the e-mail on her phone and let the girls look at it.
"Oh my god, that's pathetic," said Stacie.
"I can't believe he drunk-dialed you and then sent this e-mail," said Aubrey, laughing.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there last night," said Chloe.
"It's okay," said Beca. "I'm glad you helped with Baxter. I'm pretty sure Jesse won't be bothering me anymore."
Beca's expression turned thoughtful. "You know, I think I know why Jesse was being such a pain. I think he'd blurted out that he didn't want to date me anymore, and he'd expected me to beg for forgiveness or something like that. I threw him for a loop when I didn't. I know he hooked up with a few exes after breaking up with them, and I guess he was hoping maybe I'd do the same thing."
"Why would he think that?" asked Chloe.
"I guess he never knew me at all," said Beca. "My father never liked him, and I guess he was right."
"Your dad likes me, right?" asked Chloe.
"Of course he does. Who wouldn't like you?" Beca gave Chloe a chaste kiss.
Stacie and Aubrey made fake gagging noises. "Okay, enough, you two," said Stacie. "You realize we're trying to eat?"
"Ha ha," said Beca sarcastically.
Everyone finished their dinner, and the four of them closed out their evening with a game of Cards Against Humanity. Beca was shocked to see some of the card combinations submitted by Aubrey. That girl had a way dirtier mind than Beca could have imagined.
The summer went on. Beca and Chloe had fallen hard and fast for each other. They spent a long weekend away at the beach, and Beca had blurted out "I love you" in the middle of one of their many lovemaking sessions. Chloe had immediately said it back. It was the first time either one of them had said it, even though Beca had had that feeling for a while. When Beca realized she had told Chloe I love you while they were making love, she was concerned that Chloe would question her sincerity.
"Chloe?" asked Beca as she laid in Chloe's arms.
"Yeah?"
"I meant what I said. I love you."
"I love you too, Beca. I'm so glad you told me, though. I was worried it was said in the heat of the moment."
"I wanted to tell you this weekend. Just, not in the throes of passion."
Chloe pulled Beca into a tighter embrace. "It's okay. I love you so much, and I'm so glad we're getting this time together."
"Me too," said Beca. "I love you, Chloe."
A/N: The "Uncle Jim" story from Chloe's graduation party happened to me with one of my uncles. It was too funny a story not to put into the fic!
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renaroo · 7 years
Text
Recovery None (60/61)
Disclaimer: Red vs Blue and related characters are the property of Rooster Teeth. Warnings: Language, Canon-typically violence, Psychological torture & manipulation, Mentions of gore, Character death, Minor Sexual content Pairings: Yorkalina, Chex, Sisouth Rating: T Synopsis: [Canon Divergence AU] When the Mother of Invention crashed, Project Freelancer was in shambles, its surviving agents scattered, its equipment stolen, and an impending investigation into the crash from the UNSC was on the horizon. To regain control of the deeply corrupted program, the Director established a new unit from his remaining supplies – the Recovery Unit.
Three former Freelancers were chosen for particular tasks: Zero is to hunt down and destroy the Meta, One is to investigate and recover stolen or missing equipment, and Two is to take down AWOL former agents.
Of course, no one’s motivations are what they seem…
A/N: I am... I’m not sure how to feel considering that we’re a single chapter away from it just being done for good and that’s... wow this is literally the largest thing I have ever written to completion in my life and I’m just... really grateful for everyone who has come on this journey with me because I know it’s been a very very wild ride at the times, had its ups and downs, but it means a lot to have had all of you traveling that road with me. I hope I do you all justice as we wrap things up. And, who knows, I think I have a few surprises still in store for you who think you know how this all ends ; ) 
Special thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown, @notatroll7, @analiarvb, @xhauntedangel, @washingtonstub, @every-survival, @icefrozenover, Yin, and irismon for the feedback!
Recovery Two XVIII: The Party Don’t Stop
South honestly had no idea what she was to expect on the other side of the transporter’s green flash and nauseating sense of repositioning. But she really could have predicted almost anything other than the Red nerd running face first into her chest plate. 
“Ow!” he whined, hitting the snow.
Theta popped up over South’s shoulder and tilted his head at the Red. “You should really watch where you’re going.”
Annoyed, South put a fist into the palm of her hand. “Or he was just volunteering to be the first thing I punched while I was here, which would be very kind of him,” South answered threateningly. 
Humming, Theta looked toward the Red almost sympathetically. “You could always apologize. I’ll put a good word in for you.” 
“Ah! You’re the bodyguard! This is great!” he said, scrambling back to his feet. “Don’t tell the others that I ran into you. Just let them think I contacted you. I honestly had no idea how I was going to do that anyway, but Washington is really scary when he wants something done.”
Lowering her hands, South looked incredulously at the simulation trooper. “You’re intimidated by Wash? What the fuck kind of soldier is intimidated by Wash?”
“One who doesn’t want to get shot?” he replied. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he kind of really hates people in Red armor. I’m in maroon armor. It’s the second most Red armor of the team. I basically have a target on me. Which isn’t supposed to happen because it’s not like I’m Grif!” 
A bit alarmed, Theta put a hand over his mouth. “Oh no! Why is there a target on Kaikaina?” 
“Who?” the trooper replied. 
“You mean her brother, I’d hope,” South said warningly. “Especially since I am her bodyguard and all. Wouldn’t really appreciate people threatening my protectorate.” 
Theta glanced at her sidelong. “That’s not what that word means.”
“Shut up,” South said before could even finish. 
“Okay, how many of the floating holographic guys are there?” Simmons finally asked. “That one dude that everyone’s freaking out about already has, like, at least half a dozen.”
“What?” South asked, looking at him seriously. “What new white guy!?”
Simmons’ head tilted even further. “The... one who isn’t the Wyoming guy trying to kill us?”
South’s eyes narrowed and Theta throbbed uneasily in her head. “Is this white guy also trying to kill you even though he isn’t Wyoming?” she asked seriously.
“Well, I thought that went without saying these days,” Simmons shrugged. “I mean... who have we met in the past week who hasn’t been trying unreasonably hard to kill us?”
Looking back toward the teleporter, South cracked her neck from side to side. “That means it can only be one person,” she said resolutely.
“Yep,” Theta nodded along with her.
Looking less than convinced, Simmons glanced between the two of them. “Really? You think it can only be one other guy on the whole planet who’s wearing white armor? What is it with you Freelancer guys?”
“It’s the guy who killed my brother, asswipe, show some respect!” South snapped at him. “Pretty damn sure he’s the other guy in white armor who is trying extraordinarily hard to be a pain in my ass and kill us all for AI and enhancements.”
Shocked, Simmons raised up his hands defensively. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I didn’t know about the brother thing! Jesus. Everyone’s randomly revealing siblings and babies and craziness today!”
“Crazy...” South trailed off. “You haven’t seen crazy yet today,” she announced before grabbing Simmons by his chest plate’s strap and pulling him up to her. “Alright, asshole. You run back to the others and tell them I’m bringing you some backup you sure as hell probably don’t deserve. And you tell them that if anyone is killing this bastard it’s going to be me, got it?” 
Visibly shaken, Simmons looked side to side for help that wasn’t anywhere to be found. “I-I think I can remember that? Maybe not all of that... would you be okay with some paraphrasing?”
“No,” South snapped.
“Then let me write it down!” Simmons begged.
“Oh my god we’re wasting time talking,” South groaned. 
“Yeah, it’s all we know how to do, maybe you all should try it more,” Simmons offered before South pushed him to the snow. 
“Go hold off the Meta with the others. I’ll be coming with reinforcements.”
“Can I just tell everyone that part instead?” Simmons asked, but South was officially done listening to him.
"Just do what I said or I’ll punch you,” South warned as she headed back toward the bright green light of the teleporter.” Just as she began to step through, she could hear the rustling of the snow behind her as Simmons walked off. 
“Man you sound just like Tex,” he sighed.
A subconscious twitch came to South’s eye and she nearly turned around to question that statement, but she was already far enough into the teleportation field that she found herself whirling through space and landing in the confusing annoyance that was the box canyon from earlier.
And despite everything, Kaikaina and her brother were still sitting on the same ledge where she had left them. Except the turquoise one from the Horrific Incident That Shall Not Be Named was behind them. 
“Oh wow, did you kick ass that fast? You’re, like, the best fake bodyguard ever!” Kai exclaimed.
“Or the worst,” Grif said, looking South up and down. “That was too fast. She definitely ran away from the fight. Everyone we know is probably dead already.”
“Oh, like you’d do anything different,” the turquoise one said with a flick of his wrist. 
“I didn’t say I’d do anything different. I think it’s the smartest fucking thing any of these Freelancer assholes have done since they met us,” Grif announced before looking back toward South. “Congratulations. Hope you enjoy the good life with the rest of us survivors.”
South leered. “I did not come here because I was running. I came back here because circumstances have changed. I need equipment, and I need men.”
“Ah, fuck, I was hitting on you this whole time, too,” Kai groaned. “Can you settle for a strap on?”
“Wait what?” Grif said immediately.
The turquoise one turned so quickly on his heels he nearly toppled over. Though he then tried to make it work for him (it didn’t) by leaning back against a pillar and giving South two finger guns. “Helloooo. My name’s Lavernius Tucker. Single father. Lover. And love doctor.”
South stared at him. “I saw an alien burst out of your stomach, like, two hours ago.”
“Yeah, I mentioned the single father line already,” Tucker replied casually.
“You know what, I honestly don’t care,” South said flatly before looking around. “Where’s Four Seven Niner and that tank? And I saw a M12 ATV parked in front of the Red Base earlier. I’ll take that, too. We’ll need all of it and anything you might’ve hidden away in the respective armories of this purgatory of canyon.”
"Wow, they really must teach you Freelancers something special. It took me at least a week before I realized that this canyon is literally the first footstep into Hell,” Grif said flatly.
“Uh, if you mean Sheila and her new lady friend who totally doesn’t seem down with babysitting when Doc asked to take turns, they’re down there. On the ground. Where the giant tank is,” Tucker announced with a thumb toward the edge of the base.
“Are you talking about the alien? Why is that thing not dead yet?” South asked.
Theta appeared and shook his head. “South, that’s rude.”
“Yeah, we don’t shoot dogs!” Kai snapped.
“Dude! I told you, that’s my kid!” Tucker snapped at her.
“Wow, your kid looks just like a dog,” Kai replied.
“Smooth,” Grif snarked. 
“Where’s the ATV?” South asked, while nearing the edge of the base to leap off. 
“Are you talking about the Warthog?” Grif asked. “Which, of course, would be stupid if it was named absolutely anything else.”
“I’m not in on your inside jokes and I don’t care for your attitudes,” South snapped, looking over her shoulder. “I need weapons and I need men to shoot those weapons. Or. Better yet, to just shoot them myself. So are you going to offer me any of that besides the first two?”
“Lady,” Grif said plainly, “inside jokes and attitude is literally the only thing that this canyon can’t take out of my cold, dead hands.”
“Fair enough,” South said before dropping down to the ground below the base. 
Theta hummed with curiosity, fireworks going off behind his avatar. 
“What is it?” South asked without giving him a full glance.
“You ever notice that these people don’t seem too curious about the fact that you have an AI?” he asked. “It’s kinda weird. But I do guess they have a talking tank.”
“Theta, I literally could not care less about the inconsistencies with this box canyon,” South said with a shake of her head. “There’s a much bigger story to keep our eyes on. Like. Surviving. And. Conspiracies with large military industrial complexes.”
“Yeah, but the canyon part does leave more room for creativity,” Theta attempted to argue.
“And the embodiment of creativity killed North, so I think we should stop extrapolating and get back to work,” South said, standing in front of a giant Scorpion canyon that slowly turned its main canon toward her and Theta. “Fuck. Didn’t think this through.”
"South?” Niner’s familiar voice called from the tank. 
While South concentrated on the tank, she watched in her peripheral vision as the driver door lifted up and Niner arched over the edge enough to get a good look at South. 
“Yeah, hi,” South said, glancing toward Niner before warily reconcentrating on the tank. “Are you going to shoot me? Because a lot of people from the past lately seem pretty intent on that so I’d like some formal heads up.”
“I don’t feel like shooting you today, I’m just glad you’re alive,” Niner replied. “I was told otherwise.”
“Funny how that keeps being the case for everybody,” South said stiffly. “Unfortunately, North is dead. For real. You can ask my AI if you don’t trust me. Them supposedly not being able to lie and whatnot.”
“I’m increasingly doubting that’s the case the more I have to deal with the tiny assholes,” Niner announced. She nodded toward Theta. “Present company excluded.”
“Um, thanks?” Theta shrugged back. 
“North being dead means I’ve got scores to settle, too,” South continued to explain. “Tons of them. And I’d like to take your tank to help in that endeavor since the one who killed North happens to be the Meta.”
That seemed to take Niner by complete shock. “You know about the Meta?”
“I know to my former employer, his capture was more important than my life,” South replied. “So, what do you say? Drive a tank to victory for me?”
“Excuse me,” the tank piped up. “I do believe that this is something you should be asking me for.”
“You’re right,” Theta answered, projecting closer to the tank. “Please?”
“Oh what a delightful fellow construct! I would absolutely love to be of assistance! Especially if it involves shooting Freelancers,” the tank said happily.
“Great,” South said, sidestepping away from the tank’s canon only to have it follow. “You two head over to the teleporter and I’ll go get my transportation.”
“Teleporter?” Niner asked before turning to glance up at Blue Base. “You mean that fucking thing? How the hell are we supposed to get Sheila in there? It’s too small of a hole--”
“WAAAAAIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!” a primal scream came from the base, causing all three to turn and face the ramp as Tucker came barreling down it. He ran the entire way, a small dark skinned, alien creature in hot pursuit. They both stopped just short of the three women and Tucker grabbed his knees, breathing hard. “Okay. Ready.” He stood back up and fired shotgun fingers at the three of them. “Baby, no hole’s too small, we can make it work.”
South glared at him. “I’m going to shoot you now.”
“Wait,” Niner said, holding up her hand. “Alien-baby-dude? Are you saying your dick’s small enough for any hole?”
Almost immediately, Tucker went rigid. “What!? No! I--”
“Bow chicka honk honk!” the alien creature cooed. 
"Aw, that’s adorable,” South joined in snarkily. “I think I might’ve given men a chance if more of them took pride in their small dicks.”
Niner snorted and banged on the side of the tank as Sheila’s canon nodded up and down with an “Oh my.”
“Hey, is that anyway to talk in front of a newborn?” Tucker demanded, throwing a thumb in the alien’s direction. It honked in response. 
“Okay, this has gotten supremely stupid,” South determined before pushing forward. “Niner, you and the tank get ready. We’re going to expand that portal hole and I’m going to grab the--” South stopped as well as the others did when there was something loud playing in the distance, echoing off the canyon walls. “Is... Is that polka music?” 
There was an exuberant scream as the ATV South had taken notice of before came flying over a hill and bounced into a landing, turning widely to circle back around and face them all. Three people were already in it.
“Fucking yes! Do it again! I love the vibration from the motor when we jump,” Kai shouted from the passenger seat, hitting on the dashboard. “I think it’s because they say I have an extra large clit.”
“Kai, shut up,” Grif said from the driver’s seat before pausing and turning to more directly face his sister. “Wait what.”
“As a physician who just performed her physical, I can attest to that statement,” the purple armored man in the back said before giving an evil laugh that almost sounded to South like it had to make his throat hurt. “Of course the best part of this was knowing that every excruciating detail of her physical would be used as supposed preexisting conditions and penalize her for any medical insurance. Bwahaha.”
“Pfft, lived this long without any,” Kai said flippantly, waving her hand. “Bring it on, Mister Hyde.”
“What are you doing?” South demanded, “I need that vehicle to take with us to get revenge for my brother. None of you have any stake in that.”
“Lady, you ain’t kidding,” Grif replied with a snort. “But my asshole teammates are out there and... Well, if something could kill a Freelancer, obviously they’re pretty fucked without my skills as the handy getaway driver.”
“Dude, whatever, you seen Wash?” Tucker asked. “He gets a new bullet hole in him on the hour. As far as I can tell, we avoid death way better than any of these elitist fuckers. I mean. Who’ve we lost so far that hasn’t come back to life? Even Sarge survived a shot to the head.”
“Hey! He survived that because of my mouth to mouth!” Grif proclaimed. “Even Doc said so!”
It took a moment for the commotion that was everyone talking over one another to fully sink in for South, and even once it had, she wasn’t sure she fully believed what her own ears were hearing. Her eyes sharply shifted between the group gathered around the enormous tank and the group gathered around the so-called Warthog.
“You -- all of you -- want to come with me and do this? What the hell for?” she demanded. 
“Uh, not for you? I just explained the thing about being the getaway driver,” Grif replied. 
“I have to work off this baby weight,” Tucker shrugged. 
“I’ve got to go where my bodyguard’s heading, where else is she supposed to protect me? Fuck, you suck at this job,” Kai joked. 
“There’s a possibility that there will be severe injuries that might need treated,” Doc spoke up. “I mean, I’ve not saved anyone yet, but who’s to say I can’t in the future!” He then let out another low laugh. “Or simply watch my enemies’ inevitable demise!”
“Yeah, swelling with confidence with that one around,” Niner snarked. “I’m going because I owe it... I owe it to Carolina, York, Wash... and you, South. I owe it to you to not let you go in there without a giant ass tank behind you.”
“I might finally learn what happened to Lopez if I follow,” Sheila announced. “I do worry about him. It seems like so much has happened outside of the canyon. And he has never returned my calls.”
South scowled. It was the same as always, everyone was working toward their own ends. 
Theta appeared over her shoulder and looked at her quietly. “People can work for multiple reasons, South. We’ve just gotta trust we all want the same thing.”
Glaring back at him, South shook her head. “And where I am I supposed to get confidence about that being the case for everyone else? I don’t trust anyone.”
“Gotta learn to try to,” Theta offered. “Just like I learned to trust you.”
Swallowing, South looked away. Theta didn’t have to say the rest of that too true assessment. Just like she had learned to trust him, too.
“We’ve got to make that hole bigger,” South announced. “And gather as much shit as possible.”
“Bow chicka honk honk,” the alien cooed again.
“Fucking really, Tucker?” Grif asked critically.
“Dude, I didn’t teach him that, it’s genetic,” Tucker replied.
“I already hate everything about this,” South lied under her breath.
...
In truth, South was not sure how they managed it. But the fact that Niner was somehow able to pout about the fact that they wouldn’t try to fit her pelican in, too, was almost enough to make the disbelief wear off. 
South stood on the back of the Warthog and gave everyone warning looks. “I don’t care what everyone’s goal is once we get to the other side--”
“If we get on the other side,” Tucker called from his seat on the tank with the tiny alien in his lap. “Just saying, every time I’ve been through the thing it’s been fucked.”
“The thing I care about,” South continued, unfazed, “is that the creep in the white armor is mine.”
“I thought there were two creeps in white armor,” Doc called out from beside her.
“Then they’re both mine. Just in case,” South snapped. “We ready?”
“No,” Grif said at the same time Kai exuberantly smacked the dashboard screaming, “Yes!” 
South’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. This was going to be a disaster.
Just a little trust, Theta reminded her, as if they were in a goddamn Disney movie. 
“That’s it we’re going through,” South warned, getting in position. “Grif, make this as fast as you fucking can, hopefully the teleporter will collapse after we all get through to the right location.”
“Yeah,” Grif said, revving his engine before hesitating. “Wait what? What the fuck?”
“GO!” Kaikaina screamed, reaching her leg over the gear stick in order to slam her boot down on her brother’s, sending them flying forward. 
There was a multitude of curses but the main objective was being achieved. South couldn’t help but continue to project the feeling that Kaikaina was, by far, her favorite of the weirdos she had discovered along with the other remaining Freelancers. 
It’s funny how everyone seems to like these guys, Theta said in her mind. They’re the complete opposite of Freelancer.
That’s enough for me to like just about anyone, South answered firmly just before they launched through the staticky green light ahead of them and began to once more break apart, molecule by molecule, and form on the other side. 
There was a moment longer than the usual transporter jump where South briefly felt her heart stop and her mind wonder into the sort of territory that was remotely this was the dumbest way I could have died after all of that. But the blinding green light exploded into a world of white and distant colored hues and her ears popped with the explosion of it all. 
And surely enough, her entire body bounced with the Warthog as they hit the snowbank directly in front of them and, immediately, stopped their momentum completely. 
South glared forward before looking down to the Grif siblings. “Did you just get us stuck in the snow? Three seconds after we got here? Are you fucking kidding me?” 
“Hey, I have a very firm rule about backseat driving!” Grif snapped back, throwing the Warthog into reverse and revving the engine in an attempt to pull them out.
“Whoo! Element of surprise!” Kai screamed.
Theta manifested over South’s shoulder and cleared his throat. “Um, South?” he called quietly, pointing in the distance as a hulking white figure approached them. 
There was only one glance South needed to know who was coming their way. “Motherfucker,” she snarled, pushing Doc out of the way and taking command of the gatling gun. 
“Hey, I think that’s the white guy over there,” Kai stage whispered as Grif continued to try to back them out of the snowbank. “Grif! Grif! Tell me if I got the color right! It’s just like when we were kids! Only this time I won’t be asking you what color dicks are!”
“What!?” Grif cried out just before managing to get them out of the snow and slinging all of them around. 
Barely managing to hold on, South shot the gatling gun toward the sky instead of at her target, causing a string of curses to escape her that Theta fled back into the recesses of her implants in fear. 
Doc wasn’t so lucky and ended up face first in the very snowbank they had managed to only narrowly escape. 
“Hey!” Grif shouted back at South. “Is that the guy trying to kill everyone? The one with the stupid helmet?” 
“Yes!” South yelled back.
“Sweet!” Kai called out before slamming her foot down on her brother’s again to send them flying toward the Meta, Grif yowling in pain in the process. 
Before South could even think twice, the Warthog lunged forward aimed directly at the Meta. The move itself seemed to take everyone by surprise as a few colorful sim troopers all but leapt out of the way as the vehicle hit its mark and went cruising toward the wrecked Mother of Invention. 
The Meta slammed against the hood of the Warthog, roaring and snarling as it scratched at the metal and reached for the front window. Which caused the two Grifs to scream harmoniously.
Seeing the golden opportunity approaching, South pulled her brother’s rifle out from over her shoulder. “Duck!” she screamed at the Grifs. 
“Okay!” Kai cried as she did so.
“Why!?” Grif yelled just before South took her shot through the window. “Jesus christ!” 
Theta appeared right over South’s shoulder as the chest plate of the Meta burst open with the intensity of the armor piercing bullet. He glanced toward her, a readout of the energy signatures from the Meta flying across South’s visor. 
“That cut a major power supply, but his bioscans are still off the chart, I think he has a suped up healing unit that’s repairing his chest cavity,” Theta explained. 
“How is that possible?” South demanded, reloading. 
“I don’t know, if they have enough AI they can probably assign one to each task,” Theta announced. “Impact three... two...”
For reasons she could not explain in the moment, South grabbed Kai’s back plating, kicked the girl’s brother out into the snow, and then leaped with Kai in tow off of the Warthog just before it slammed, Meta in tow, into the side of the Mother of Invention. 
South hit the snow shoulder first and rolled with Kai, protectively shielding her as the Meta roared and attempted to--
The Warthog was almost hitting the siding of the ship but the Meta was beneath it, dropping to the snow under the Warthog and saving itself from damage as the vehicle crashed above him.
“What the fuck!?” York’s all too familiar voice called out from the other side of the snowy clearing. “Did anyone else just see that!? Seriously, did anyone--”
“It has the time distorter!” Carolina yelled. “It was Wyoming’s unit.” 
Angrily, South looked over to them all, watching as the other Reds gathered around Grif and helped him up. Tex was standing not too far from them with a Blue and some other Blue slung over her shoulder. 
“Does no one besides my brother know how to stay fucking dead!?” South screamed out.
As South got to her feet, helping Kai up in the process, Washington led the others to a tighter formation toward them, they were all still surrounding the Meta who was rolling out from underneath the wrecked Warthog. 
“We need to stop him,” Wash growled out. “Suggestions?”
“I was the one tasked with stopping him, but Niner ran as my second pair of eyes,” Carolina informed them all. “I never managed to fully complete the mission for a number of reasons. One of them being that he’s just too damn creative with how he’s using all of the stolen enhancements.”
“Someone say my name?” Niner’s voice crackled over the radio, turning all heads toward the transporter where, at long last, the tank and its occupants got through. “You would not believe the bumpy ride we just had!”
“Niner!” Carolina yelled out in relief.
“Can you fucking blow the Meta to the sky?” South demanded. 
“Wow, that’s the quickest I have ever seen someone resort to a Plan B in the history of ever,” Niner scoffed while Sheila took aim with her cannon. 
“Wait! It has a dome shield!” Washington yelled out, close proximity causing everyone close to him to flinch back. “Any explosion will bounce off and hit the rest of us!”
“Why the fuck are you screaming, you idiot? Turn your radio on,” South snapped.
“Dude, don’t call Wash an idiot!” Tucker called, leaping down from the tank, the alien creature sitting on his shoulders. “Everyone who doesn’t have their radios off right now is a fucking idiot. If this thing is super powerful because it has a bunch of AI, and Omega’s big deal was that he hopped around using our radio signals, then anyone not turning off their radio is like a huge fucking liability right now!”
Everyone stared at Tucker.
“What the fuck is that?” Washington said, breaking the momentary silence. 
“What the fuck is what?” Tucker asked while the alien chewed on his helmet. “Oh, you mean Junior? Yeah, I guess you all missed it! This is Junior, I just gave birth to him.”
“No,” Grif growled. “Unfortunately we didn’t miss it.”
“It was like a pro-abortion commercial,” Kai explained to the others. “I’ve never been more confident in my life choices like ever.”
South blinked. “Wait, what?”
"Wait! Everyone shut up!” a screechy voice South had never heard before demanded.
When she looked toward it, however, South found herself starring down an all too familiar armor. Tex was approaching from the flank and somehow that voice was coming from her as she continued to hold the Blue over her shoulder. 
“Church--” Tex began only for a bright white light to shine over her shoulder. “Goddammit. We’re not even going to discuss this. You little fucker--”
“Hey!” the white light called before forming a sprite not at all dissimilar from the kinds that many of the Freelancer AIs wore. “You fucks are in trouble. Look who’s got their radio on.”
Theta all but gasped through South’s own mouth, making her step back in shock. “The Alpha!” he cried out.
No sooner had he said it than Maine’s body stood rigid, a multitude of AI swarming around his domelike head. Chants of Alpha Alpha Alpha echoed eerily from it. 
“Goddammit, Church!” Tex snarled just before she dropped the Blue’s body and held up her fists. “Alright, assholes. You want some? You’ve gotta come get some.”
All at once, the circling AI came together in a flurry of light and obnoxious humming that sent everyone with their radios on reflexively flinching back, including South. She grabbed at the edges of her helmet and dropped to her knee, feeling like Theta was going to vibrate right through her skull. 
“Theta!” she growled.
Then, as soon as it started, the AI disappeared and Maine dropped to his knees as well, letting out a guttural noise just before having to support himself with one fist through the snow. 
Washington was the first to turn toward Tex, looking mortified. “Tex!?” 
“Oh, fuck!” Tucker cried out. “Tex!? Church!?”
“Tucker,” Tex gritted out. “Remember how you put this body together?” she demanded. “Remember where all the important power pieces are?” 
Tucker looked at her confusedly before suddenly igniting a bright plasma sword right before everyone’s eyes. “Yeah...?”
South looked over the simulation troopers and then went back to staring at the sword in Tucker’s hands. “Who the fuck are you people!?” she found herself thinking out loud. 
"You’re going to need to use that to dismantle me as quick as possible,” Tex informed him.
“What the fuck,” Tucker said for everyone.
“This just got heavy,” York muttered loudly.
“We could have simply let the Blues tear each other apart this whole time!? How could we have not used this foolproof plan before now?” Sarge howled. “Surely it is somehow Grif’s fault.”
“What are you talking about? They’ve literally been killing each other since the start,” Grif pointed out. “Except for that time Donut killed Tex.”
“Thanks for the shoutout!” Donut called from the safety of the tank.
“But... But what about Church?” the large Blue asked, picking up the limp body that Tex had dropped. “I don’t want you to be in pieces either, Tex. I’d like us all to just go home now. Together. Minus Tucker.”
“Goddammit, you guys, don’t you trust me!?” Tex roared. “Take me apart and take me apart right the fuck now before these bastards get control over us!”
Everyone was still stunned into silence when South lifted North’s sniper rifle, aimed for Tex’s head and fired a shot right in the middle of everyone, eliciting more than a few screams. 
“I told you,” she said coldly to everyone around her, “I called dibs on the one who killed my brother.”
“Holy shit, you’re a badass,” Kai laughed.
“Church! Tex!” Tucker and Wash cried out, nearing the body laying in the snow, sparking from the top of its shoulders. 
“Tucker, you fucking idiot, we told you to start tearing us apart!” 
Everyone let out a confused ‘huh’ and looked over toward the tall Blue holding the limp Blue’s body. Except it wasn’t limp anymore and instead was shoving against the hulking Blue’s chest. 
“Goddammit, Caboose, let go of me!” the Blue demanded. Then, in Tex’s voice, “Luckily, I’m aware enough of our surroundings to figure some asshole here would do the hard part and jumped us just before things went whammy. Now, Tucker, tear that body into pieces so that the AI stuck in it don’t get any grand ideas about using any of the hundreds of weapons I’ve got stored away in there.”
Washington looked at Tex with a tilt of his helmet. “That seems like a bit of an exaggeration.”
"No one asked you, Wash,” both voices snapped simultaneously.
“Alright, alright, I get it, my three hours of tinkering means I have to now take you apart. Jesus. I’d never have agreed to that if I knew it was going to come back and bite me in the ass,” Tucker groaned, setting the alien on his shoulders back on the ground then nearing the black armored body. “C’mon, Junior, I’ll show you what it’s like to play with Legos. Except human body parts sized.”
South stared at the scene with a strange, discomforting quiet. Her mouth pressed tightly to a thin line as she stared at them all. 
“Hey,” Kai called, approaching her side. “You shot her head off! Good on you. You feel better?”
Theta stayed quiet, and despite wanting to join him, something compelled South to answer. 
“Not at all,” she answered. “There... There are a lot of people I’d like to see pay before I’m going to feel good about anything relating to Freelancer.”
There was an ominous silence shared by the fellow survivors around her. 
“Cool,” Kai said. “What’s Freelancer?”
Before there could truly be an answer to the most ridiculous but reasonable questions South had ever been asked in her life, there was a horrible roaring from Maine. It was a primal, hateful sound that was full of malice as he charged. But just before anyone could react, the tank came rolling down the hill, comically snatching Maine out of his position before ultimately coming to a stop with him grasping and clawing to no avail under the tank’s treads. 
“He is much tougher than he looks!” the tank’s AI complimented. 
Niner popped out from the cockpit and shrugged. “Seemed like a shame to bring a tank and not use it.”
“I have the same saying about big guns,” Donut said cheerily from his perch. 
“Okay, but what are we supposed to with that thing now?” Simmons asked, pointing toward Maine. “I mean... we probably shouldn’t have someone dissect it with a sword.”
“Absolutely not!” Carolina snapped. “Besides, Tex and I saw from the ship, there are UNSC investigators on their way here. We just need to hold Maine and get our story straight.”
“It won’t matter what the story is,” South snorted, shaking her head at the naivety. “Don’t know what wonderful dreamworld you all live in, but I happen to know for a fact that the UNSC is going to come here looking for someone to blame. And Freelancers seem pretty high on the top of that list of good scapegoats, don’t they? Steal our armors, take our enhancements, put us on trial, lock us up, shut us up. Or maybe offer some of you a deal to work for them indefinitely on suicide missions. Been there. Done that. It fucking sucks, just for reference.”
York crossed his arms. “Anyone ever tell you that professing to a history of backstabbing and double crossing isn’t the greatest reflection of someone’s character?” 
“Anyone ever tell you that I haven’t wanted anything more than to spend the rest of my life punching you in the dick?” South demanded. 
“Everyone stop,” Carolina spoke up, holding up her hands. 
“Sure thing, Boss,” Wash said all too easily.
“No. No sure thing, Boss,” South growled out. “You’re not a leader anymore, Carolina, because we’re not a team. We never were.”
“God, these guys have so many fucking issues,” Grif bemoaned. 
“I may not be a leader,” Carolina agreed, “but I have information that might save all of us once the UNSC is here wanting to arrest us all. And it’s only going to work if some of us can get our shit together and actually work together to make sure he doesn’t get away.”
“He?” South and Wash echoed at the same time. 
“The Director is inside the Mother of Invention,” Carolina explained. “And we’re going to make sure he stays that way.”
The three of them looked at each other, then to the crowd of miscreants that had all gathered together for the colossal mess that had been the last fifteen minutes.
But only Kai was looking South’s way. 
“That one of the people you need to cross off to feel better?” she asked genuinely.
South thought about it and exhaled firmly through her nose. “Yeah,” she said lowly. “Yeah, it is.” She looked warily toward Carolina and Washington. “Why the three of us?”
“Because, we’re all Recovery Agents,” Carolina announced, somewhat surprising South and utterly flooring Washington by the looks of it. “And he’s the last piece of this puzzle we need to recover.”
“Go on,” York said, walking toward them. “I’ll help everyone hold down the fort and slow the UNSC when they get here. I’m good at talking things over,” he reminded them. 
“According to who?” South asked skeptically. “Nevermind, I don’t even have the attention span for mocking you right now. I want to kick the Director’s ass. Maybe shoot him.”
“We need him alive,” Carolina argued firmly.
“There are nonlethal ways to shoot people,” Wash said darkly.
“See, Wash gets it,” South said, leading the walk toward the Mother of Invention. “And I’m more than ready for this all to be over.”
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Rubbermaid Weights, Goku, and a 7 year-4 year Degree
I have always loved fitness; well I have always loved lifting weights.  Fitness involves much more than lifting weights like running. I’ll be honest, I can not stand running, it sucks.  I have a “rep the weights faster” as a cardiovascular ideology. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on runners or endurance athletes.  I actually envy y'all (I’m from the south, I say y'all, don't expect it to change).  With that being said, yes I do admire your capacity for long duration cardio endurance but I also believe a “Man” shouldn’t weigh less than 185 pounds or be beardless. Thats another blog later on. 
As long as I remember I was into pumping iron. When I was a kid I idolized figures such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, The Rock, The Incredible Hulk, and Goku.  Yes, I know the last two or cartoon characters, but a lot can be learned from Goku’s dedication and commitment to training and nutrition.  If you didn't get hyped AF and start beating the shit out of your bedroom walls when Kakarot went Super Saiyan you aren’t even human.  I’m a nerd, so what, I can bench press a Fiat.  Anyways back to my childhood and lifting weights.  To this day I can still remember my first weight set.  It was this tiny little bench with a “barbell” that was the diameter of a broomstick and the weights were these plastic case container like things that were filled with concrete or sand. Pretty much what I had was a weight set made by Rubbermaid. There was even a cap you could unscrew on each one where you could let a little sand out or add some. I loved that damn weight set, I thought it was awesome, but hey I was 9 years old and I was about to be like Arnold (growing up all my friends wanted to “Be like Mike”, I wanted to be the Terminator).  Something about lifting weights and growing muscle has always intrigued me.  I believe my Dad had a part in my fascination with working out.  My dad has always been built, maybe not as aesthetic or as big as my celebrity and cartoon idols but compared to my friend’s fathers and anyone that I personally known my dad was, still is, swole.  My dad was the one to show me what a bench press, bicep curl, and lat pull down were.  Let’s just say he paved the way for me. Now my father showed me the in and outs of the weight room, but my perception of pure brute strength came from my mother and the rest of the Boughtons.  Those Boughtons let me tell ya.  Have you heard of the term “Construction Strong”? Well if you looked up that term in the dictionary, there would be a picture of the Boughton Family.  Now I have never seen my uncle touch a dumbbell but he could pick up an 80 pound sack of concrete in each hand and scale a ladder at the same time, the crazy thing is my mom would be right behind him with another sack a concrete.  You’d think we were a family of vikings, if it weren't  for most of us being vertically challenged and that one tan skinned kid aka me.  The Boughtons are just a solid group of individuals with a tenacity for work, not desk jockeying work, but physical manual labor in the elements of nature type of work. To this day, my 72 year old grandmother still mows 1 acre of grass with a push mower.  The damn thing isn't even self propelled. That’s what I call Functional Fitness; yeah cool “Fran” time bro but can you mix concrete with a shovel and wheel barrow, frame a house or build an award winning Mardi Gras float in less than a week.  I think not. Again being able to lift weights and not call a “professional” to change your light bulb is another blog topic for a later date. I owe a lot to my family and my upbringing for my love of working out. The patriarch of the Boughtons, my grandfather, is who I received my first protein shake.  Now I’m not talking about the delicious whey protein shake you and I are accustomed to today. I’m talking old school; glass of whole milk, 4 raw eggs, and a tsp of vanilla extract-protein shake (needless to say this was my first and last “old school” protein shake). 
I was 15 when Hurricane Katrina hit the Mississippi Gulf Coast (if you are not familiar with this area, the location I am talking about is “The Landmass” between New Orleans and Alabama). Everything was destroyed and we didn't have school for months, so there wasn't anything to do besides to either work out and/or make a little pocket change gutting houses and cleaning debris. Let me tell you, tearing down soaking wet, moldy drywall got old quick. There was a few of us that really got into working out at this time; one of which really got into it, stuck with it and he now has his IFBB Pro Card.  Ready for this, the dude is a VEGAN... Which is not totally unheard of these days.  To compete in the world of bodybuilding it’s 90 percent diet, I don’t care what you say, it is.  So when your food intake is all veggies and you are committed to pumping iron, yeah you are going to be shredded.  
So we all hit the weights pretty hard from sophomore to senior year of high school.  You know you're doing something right when your classmates all claim that you're on roids.  “Nah’ bruh, blame it on genetics, two a days at the gym, copious amounts of grilled chicken breast and the occasional case of Keystone Light. (what, I was carb loading).  I played football in high school a couple of times but I kept getting injured in the weight room due to poor programming and improper coaching on weightlifting technique from my “all knowledgeable coaches”.  I got stronger outside of the football weight room by going to other gyms and doing research on my own.  This is one of the reasons I later finally chose a career path that I’m in now.  
Then came college. I know you’ve heard of “Gaining that Freshman 50″. Well I took it up a notch and gained a whopping 70 pounds after high school.  I was what you called a career student.  I took advantage of everything college had to offer, except the academic part. I didn't hit the books hard until my 3rd freshman year and finally chose a major and stuck with it.  Prior to this I hopped around from engineering, only because my friend was doing it (the same one that is a vegan body builder but I quickly realized that my math capacity was limited to counting by 45′s) to pre law (but at this time I turned 21 and there was no need to use my fake ID anymore), to finally figuring why don't I do something relevant to what I love, Working out.  At this point I was 4 years into a relationship with my now wife and most of her family are educators and coaches.  I stated earlier how often got hurt often in the high school weight room and I wasn’t the only one.  I also had only like 2 influential teachers  in my high school career, (thank you Sheila and Monty G).  So I decided to go into coaching with an emphasis on strength and conditioning with a minor and history.  For people that don't know, if you plan to coach a high school team you'll have to teach a class too.  So I chose another topic that I really like, History, (there’s no way in hell I’m teaching math unless its only kilo to pound conversions or counting plates on a barbell).  I felt like I needed to be in the classroom and in the weight room to positively motivate and inspire kids.  After a 7 year stint in college and over $40k in student loans, I finally received that 4 year degree everyone rant and raves about. Another blog for another time. 
With that being said, I fuel planes to pay the bills.  Remember how I said my now In Laws are teachers. Well they also tell me stories of the job.  It’s not the kids that have deterred me from the job, it’s the parents.  I honestly don’t wont to deal with y'all all knowing, ignorant, neglectful, pig headed, selfish A-Holes.  Now I know not all of you parents are like this but there’s a select few that I really don't have the time or patience for.  I give props and thanks to all teachers out there.  You are a group of people that are underpaid and under appreciated for what y'all do and put up with.  
After 4 years and counting in the aviation industry, mortgage doesn't pay itself,  I finally had the opportunity to  live the American Dream.  I am now an entrepreneur that owns his own business, Rah’s Gym in Bay St. Louis, Ms.  I could have easily pursued my dream in an easier way and be a personal trainer at someone else’s gym.  Do you see the problem with that last sentence?  I’ll break it down for you. In order to truly succeed the route should never be easy.  I think there’s a difference between being a personal trainer and strength coach. Lastly, being at “someone’s else’s gym” didn’t sit well with me.  Especially since there weren’t any “gym’s” near me.  Yes, there were health clubs, and fitness centers, and judgement free zones with pizza parties, but there were no gyms.  So with the determination to finally get my Freshman 70 off, oh yeah it’s still there, and an increased limit on my card I opened my own gym.  A real gym.  I have no air conditioning, no smith machines, and a bunch of free weights.  When people ask where my cardio section is, I simply point to the one elliptical and to the road on side of the gym and say “There’s no better cardio than feet to pavement.”  
Rah’s Gym has been open for 8 month’s now and business is good for being the niche, non commercial, mainstream gym that it is.  I’ve learned a lot so far; not just about running a business but about the field that I love.  You know there’s so much more to working out besides heavy singles and curls for the girls.  I know right, who would have thought.  I house all types of athletes at the gym; Functional Fitters, aka crossfitters that don't like to be sued, Body Builders, Power lifters, Mixed Martial Artists, and even Triathletes. 
It’s an exciting time to be in the fitness industry.  People are finally giving a shit about their health and quality of life, and I want to be a part of it. I plan on losing my Freshman 70, are you. 
Lift heavy, run efficiently, and rest often.
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