#except the reckless destruction part

[scintillyyy]

the steph brown conundrum aka the problem with steph being a character with hugely divergent doylist and watsonian readings

okay, so like. there is always a part of me that feels that to this day, didio kind of won when it came to the destruction of steph's character. like she wasn't a toxic character like he thought before he got his hands on her, but since he did & there was fallout from it, it has completely destroyed dc's desire to do anything potentially interesting with her, even as they've brought her back. like. she will always just kind of be a shell of her former self, doomed to stay uncontroversial and in the background. because when it comes to steph, and the problem with utilizing steph as a character now, you have to acknowledge two things

steph from an editorial and out of universe perspective was treated horrifically. the nonsensical and terrible things they made her do to move along the plot of post-crisis are awful and excessively reckless to the point of intentional character assassination & it was all done to justify her fridging for bruce's (and tim's) manpain which is awful

but the things that steph did as a result of the above are extremely load-bearing and important on plot and character dynamics and motivations from war games all the way to reborn era & to try and remove or minimize things that happened as a result of those actions just because they were arguably out of character from her has the unfortunate result of completely and intentionally warping the characterization of everyone who interacts with her to the point where it negatively affects almost every single other character instead.

so in order to show this we need to start at war games, talk about what happened, & go into how this affects things & why her character assassination is not as easy to fix as cass's or leslie's

so war games. ah war games. you know, having recently reread it, war games is frustrating because it's arguably a semi good event for most everyone except steph and leslie (especially leslie--now that was character assassination.). so let's get into the bare bones of what exactly happens in war games (war games being the three main events of this time: war drums (the prequal), war games proper, & war crimes (the follow up & worst part of the event)) (and i'm not saying i necessarily agree with this, just. this is what we have to consider.)

war drums:

this event has two main stories - the bruce & leslie story and the steph becomes robin story

in the bruce & leslie story (which is definitely racist), we have a young teenage pregnant girl who shows up at leslie's clinic having been shot. leslie attempts to save the girl and baby, but is left in a precarious situation where only one can be saved. she reluctantly calls bruce for help finding the girl's family, who finds out that the girl in question is popstar l'shea's sister--the popstar and her entourage in question kidnap leslie & the girl & bruce finds them, where it's revealed the girl is actually l'shea's daughter (like i said. racist.). l'shea makes the decision to save the baby, which kills the girl. leslie tries to get bruce to see that he can't save everyone, and ultimately gets upset about the cycle of violence she feels he perpetuates when he goes to take mr. freeze back in. she later comes to talk to bruce & it ends on a positive note fairly consistent with the bruce & leslie relationship--one in which leslie wishes he could devote himself to saving lives nonviolently & hoping he could see her as an example. my only quibble is that bruce responds as "ha-ha" leslie when if you compare to the batman chronicles #18, bruce absolutely counts on her to challenge his worldview & be a shining example of what he cannot be.

we do start to see the seeds of character assassination for leslie here imo, though this part is the best understanding of her by far--she's always been a foil to bruce as far as her pacifism and her determination to try and show him that there are other ways than his crusade, but traditionally she's always been defined as well by her immense love for him & he for her. she fundamentally disagrees with his crusade, but she's going to be there for him because she knows there's good in him that's worth saving--because to leslie, every life, including bruce's, is worth saving. anyways, read the batman chronicles #18, where she's determined to use O- blood on zsasz because of her firm commitment to the belief that every life is precious & she and bruce talk about their differences in opinion but how she's determined to keep showing him there's another way & he wants her to do so. this leslie who has, up until this event, been troubled by his crusade--but has decided it's tireless, but worth it to show him the good in people, suddenly seems a lot more, hm. overtly hateful of how batman operates & the fact that he puts criminals back in prison just for them to break out and the cycle to continue & has a sudden desire to not work with him if at all possible because of her total disagreement with his methods. which is. hm. somewhat but not entirely consistent with leslie's motivation. leslie would have no problem asking bruce for help if it meant saving an innocent & the fact that he believes in the redemption of criminals is something she inherently believes in. anyways i digress-

the other main story is, as we all know, the steph becomes robin story. and while you do not have to agree with how it is written wrt stephanie, the barebones of what exactly transpires is thus: tim has quit robin for his dad. he is attempting to live a normal life--go to school, hang out with friends, & not do the vigilante thing even when he sees people in need. he meets up with steph, who tells him of her determination to return to spoiler now that her broken leg has healed & he tells her that it's very hard for him to leave the house on account of jack always being suspicious that he's going out to be robin & be involved in anything vigilante again (it is implied that this is the first time he had been able to get out in a while because of his dad, as he didn't know she got her cast off). one day, when tim is at school, darla aquista, who has a crush on him, kisses him out of the blue. this happens to be seen by steph, who is now officially active again & chooses to be active during the day as a result of wanting to avoid batman as she doesn't have his approval, has gone over to tim's school to check on him because she's suspicious he's hiding something from her other than he's basically under house arrest from his dad atm since it had been so long since she had seen him. it, of course, looks terrible to her and she flounces off--deciding that she's going to become robin. bruce agrees, which everyone--alfred, barbara, eventually tim, etc completely understands to be a scheme to lure tim back. steph proceeds to completely ghost tim for the next two months--he calls and leaves messages, and she never calls back or comes to see him at all--she is completely radio silent & avoiding him and he doesn't know why but he is worried. bruce tells stephanie that she will not be privy to any secrets & the minute she disobeys an order she's out (a double standard, yes, but completely consistent in that he, again, is using her basically only to lure tim back). meanwhile, scarab is hunting tim, killing boys in his age range with dark hair and their families in an attempt to kill robin as there is a contract out for his life. tim then finds out through the newspaper that the reason steph has been avoiding him is because she became robin & calls the batcave to finally talk to steph & ask her to meet so they can finally talk in perso. about what exactly happened and how on earth steph became robin. cassandra comes instead--steph doesn't show up because batman and robin are busy hunting scarab who is trying to kill tim/previous robin & tim needs to be put under protection. steph gets a tracking device on scarab. day 49, bruce and steph go to get scarab, bruce goes in while steph is let behind for support in the batplane, bruce gets blinded, steph disobeys bruce and comes in to help, steph gets caught by scarab, scarab gets away in the batplane because steph forgot to arm the security system. steph officially gets fired 3 weeks later for disobeying an order on day 71.

yea, it's something. but it is what it is.

war games:

so we get to war games proper. overnight, a gang war has erupted & set the city ablaze and into chaos after a letter was sent out calling all the crime bosses to the harbor where a firefight breaks out on account of the main player who was supposed to be there if those letters were sent out, matches malone, not showing up. since tensions are high, it's easy for then to start shooting and killing each other & in doing so creates an immediate and widespread vacuum of power in the criminal underworld of gotham that people leap to try to fill & wipe out their competition in the meantime. innocent people are caught in the crosshairs.

nightwing (who is already having a terrible time) shows up to help (with tarantula) & is personally dealing with the emotional fallout of letting tarantula kill blockbuster amongst other things.

barbara is doing her best to help out and triage people to help, but there's really only batman, batgirl, nightwing, tarantula, & orpheus against a whole city. and at this point, tarantula has taken over a gang under batman's command to try and control things and can't overtly help & orpheus was already in control of a gang under batman's command in an attempt to protect women & children and exert some control over the criminal underbelly of gotham and also cannot overtly help out.

stuff with hush is happening in gotham knights but i don't care aj lieberman, by god, i do not care.

tim is doing his best to go about his day and keep his promise to his dad and not go out to help despite the fact that the city is falling apart. this becomes harder when a rival gang comes to kill his friend darla aquista at their high school, on account of her father being a mob boss. the kids are panicked and run into the school for sanctuary and safety, but are followed in and darla is shot.

what happens next is that tim's school is taken over by gangsters--the ones who came to kill darla, and the ones who see the opportunity to kill the ones who are trying to kill darla--and the kids are trapped in there with them, doing their best to hide, but some are taken hostage & are at the mercy of their captives (kids are killed). tim shelters in the nurses's office & does his best to go out and help who he can bring to safety, alone with getting a lay of the school (which gang is where).

meanwhile, bruce, cass, & dick have been informed that tim's school is taken over and kids are dying. along with all their other current trauma, they have to go find tim in an active shooter zone where he could very well be dead. dick gets to be the one who finds him (such a traumatic time for dick btw), and he's thankfully okay. they get control back of the school and free the kids. batman comes out on live television holding darla's body--she's not dead yet, but she's close.

we find out where steph is. selina finds her and we finally find out why this happened: upset at getting fired and frustrated that she's never been able to truly land their approval, steph lashed out & stole a plan designed to unite the crime families in gotham under batman's control hoping that if she was able to set off a plan for batman & it worked he would take her back and she'd finally have his approval. however, the main man didn't show up and it fell to pieces--doomed to fail. and the reason that this all happened is because steph was never told that batman is matches malone. there's actually a ton of 'bruce what have you done' here. catwoman shelters steph & tells her to stay put. steph does not do so, she leaves so she can try to find orpheus & help get the situation under control because she knows he's key to the plan.

tim, unable to stand by any longer despite his promise to his dad after the thing at the school, returns to the manor where he is greeted by alfred & returns to being robin.

batman finally also realizes that what happened is his war game contigency plan/hypothetical/thought experiment just as a citywide blackout hits--a plan he never intended to implement, it was one of his hypotheticals. & they also start looking for orpheus, as he's the key because they need to keep him alive as the plan was for the criminal underworld to reform united under his, and therefore batman's, rule.. steph finds him first, just in time to see his throat slit--by black mask.

steph gets into a one v one altercation with black mask and is overpowered and at his mercy. he tortures her. it's gross, we all know.

tim tells his dad he's returned to being robin. we get what is probably some of the best jack drake charactetization. tim meets jack and dana so they can go help out at leslie's clinic to help the injured.

steph, eventually, after being tortured, finally tells black mask that the plan required orpheus and is now obsolete because orpheus is dead.

cass is looking for steph because she's probably the only one aware that steph is out as spoiler & she knows that the last time she saw steph steph was lying to her about something

leslie is currently acting extremely out of character. and she's kind of a jerk to cass when cass comes looking for steph & is downright hateful about his mission. (which. is ooc for leslie--while she's never agreed with bruce's mission she's always, always, loved and respected them all--consider her in NML vs here. she wants to end his crusade and him to do something better, but she's always looking to be a beacon of hope that there is another way. every disagreement should be steeped in her love for them).

hush is still here for some reason and will tell black mask where the batcave is

catwoman is concerned about steph--who has passed out from the torture--calling her "the kid you messed up so badly she started this whole mess"

batman takes over oracle's & the police's system by force. we're really in it now. steph wakes up, determined to get to batman to tell him about orpheus's death.

black mask, however, has taken over orpheus's identity and is contacting batman, ostensibly to continue the "plan". and darla officially dies, meaning her father is out for revenge and wants everyone killed.

batman meets up with black mask as orpheus & figures out spoiler was there, but he assumes she fought zeiss. he leaves, black mask is planning...something as orpheus.

batman has barbara take over the police waves once more. barbara is getting really sick if this shit.

gotham city is starting to rail against vigilantes as a result of the widespread chaos of war games, calling for them to turn themselves in.

batman has orpheus call a grand meeting. ostensibly to end things and ensure peace in gotham with everything unified under orpheus's commands. orpheus is, however, dead. black mask uses the meeting to set everything ablaze again & barbaba has to call off the vigilantes from helping to protect the gcpd to go help batman--this is the straw that breaks the camel's back of this causes an official break in the uneasy alliance between vigilante & gcpd and comissioner akins gives the order to shoot to kill vigilantes on sight (as also, as a result of the plan failing due to orpheus's murder it seems as if batman et al are on the side of the villains causing mayhem)

at this point the game it out of control & they have to focus on stopping it. cass finally has a chance to talk to batman and tell him her suspicions that steph was the one who set the entire thing into motion, which he has now figured out (on account of him finding traces of spoilers's at orpheus's)

dick gets shot in the leg by the police while fighting firefly

tim meanwhile is happy to return to robin, and actually has bunch of nice things to say about steph's time as robin--that she kept things light for bruce, that he's not too proud to learn from her--even if he did admittedly resent her a little bit for how it all went down. he's also currently in the middle of a breakdown over darla's death and is pretending everything's okay by just go go going.

steph has freed herself from her bonds and gets into it with black mask, finally overpowering him when she realizes "this isn't a game". she gets a gun to his head & wants to pull the trigger and end him for good, but can't--as that would mean betraying everything she's been taught. the hesitation costs her and black mask gets the gun and shoots her in the shoulder & kicks her down the stairs & leaves

she manages to get herself up despite her extensive injuries and escapes by rooftop, where she's finally found by batman, who brings her to leslie and begs her to save steph. he then tells her she did good & that she did everything she could & that the city owes her after everything she went through.

and black mask is still causing trouble--hush supposedly told him the location of the batcave & he plans to solidify his reign as the undisputed crime lord of gotham by sending everyone there--it's not the batcave, however--it's the clocktower. all the criminals are now converging on and headed for directly for barbara. they get in and make it past all her defenses and invade her safe space, black mask making it to her control room & taking her hostage. the gcpd also descend upon the clocktower.

batman goes ham and almost kills black mask, saying it'd be worth it to end everything that's transpired. tim creates a diversion by lying saying they'll turn themselves into the police. barbara blows up her clocktower so that bruce has to make the decision between saving her & killing black mask. bruce chooses to save her & it's over. bruce gets called to leslie's clinic, where it turns out steph had too much internal damage to save her. steph tells him that she started it all, and bruce says he knows but that they took care of it. he tells her that tim isn't mad at her and that the baby she had won't want for anything ever. he lies and says that taking her on as robin wasn't just to bring tim back, that she was really robin & that he'll be watching over her. she dies. black mask takes over as the new criminal overlord of gotham city.

as a result of all of the above, we get the following: gotham is no longer safe for vigilantes to operate. tim has been set in motion on the path of loss from darla to steph to his dad in another event that will eventually lead him to the mental space he needs to be in to become red robin and leaves for bludhaven. cass follows in her grief of all that transpired. dick is out of commission due to his gunshot wound & dealing with the fallout of working with bruce while feeling like he doesn't deserve to, but is also the only one left to work with bruce. barbara, whose safe haven was trampled upon and destroyed, feels gotham to go be with the birds of prey in another city. bruce is operating all but alone, save for a couple of other distant vigilantes.

we find out that bruce didn't--couldn't--tell tim steph had died until hours after the fact, and that's when tim was finally able to hear the whole story as to how steph became robin all the way to how the gang war got started. this is also when dick finds out the whole story as well.

and thus, war games ends

war crimes:

so we make our way to the epilogue of this storyline. the very aptly named war crimes

the public is still railing against vigilantes. it comes out publicly that stephanie brown was spoiler, then robin, and that her injuries were not thus that should have killed her. batman finds out and goes to leslie's to find out who leaked stephanie's information, only to find out leslie has resigned and her chief resident left with her. batman finds the resident, murdered in a clear attempt to set batman up. (it's black mask setting him up). a man named aaron black is railing against black mask, batman, & the gcpd for the gang war

we find out that treatment was deliberately withheld from stephanie and she was purposely left to die. we find out aaron black is the not so dead arthur brown. & we find out that crystal knows something and is prepared to spill it all. black mask comes dressed as batman to attack crystal brown on live tv. we find out the joker is after black mask for killing robin. the joker gets arrested, black mask gets arrested (and escapes), a tv reporter gets indicted, the leader of the odessa mob gets indicted, commissioner akins and athur brown don't get indicted, and batman has finally figured out who killed stephanie and goes to africa where she fled to.

in, quite possibly, the greatest moment of character assassination in this entire gd event we find out it was leslie who let stephanie die because she was tired of batman's crusade, destroying everything she once stood for just to prove a point to bruce about the senselessness of it all and to try and put an end to it. congrats to dc for this horrific epilogue.

so there it is--the entire event. it certainly is a thing that happened. and that's the problem--it happened. and it was very, very much intended as a personal fuck you and goodbye to the characters of stephanie brown and leslie thompkins. and that's terrible on so many levels. but unfortunately the fact of the matter is, despite that and regardless of any personal feelings about it, war games became a load-bearing event to batman canon.

because war games had so much influence on fundamentally upheaving and changing the status quo of the characters involved and storylines following this could not happen without war ganes existing. without war games, tim does not become the tim that will eventually become red robin. without war games, dick is not injured and out of commission and does not flee to new york and the mob, leaving bludhaven for tim and cass and on his passively suicidal mission that will eventually lead to infinite crisis and the one year boat ride. without war games, barbara does not leave gotham because she needs to leave it behind, only to return during the reborn era & all the tension that entails. without war games, bruce doesn't end up alone & isolated as needed for the red hood storyline. without war games, stephanie is not killed and thus can't be evolved into batgirl as an apology for the way she was treated. the dynamics caused by war games are essential to the stories that come after it. and then you're left with two very, very uncomfortable truths:

one, war games was a horrific fuck you and. fridging to a female character solely because of the evil sexism present at dc editorial at the time and of course you want to delete anything that had such awful intentions behind it

two, war games happening is essential to the trajectory of every single bat characters' story that comes after it including hers. and so it had to happen. and the thing with war games is that steph, while not completely to blame for it transpiring, was humongous part of it transpiring no matter what. because we end up with what it seems to me, the grand circle of blame. it goes as follows: war games never would have happened if bruce hadn't made his contingency plan to begin with -> yes, but. even if it is one of bruce's toxic traits to do that, he never intended for the contingency to go into effect and it was more of a hypothetical than anything and the only reason it ever saw the light of day was because steph stole it and put it into action -> yes, but. if bruce had been less of an asshole and told steph the basic information of matches malone is batman she wouldn't have made the mistake -> yes, but. to completely blame bruce is to remove any and all agency from steph, because nobody put a gun to her head and forced her to implement the plan, that was entirely her decision. and as much as we would have liked her to have decided she no longer needed batman's approval, the fact of the matter is she did want it and she did make the decision to send those letters -> yes but, if bruce hadn't had a contigency to begin with she wouldn't have had such an awful plan to steal -> yes, but having contigencies for plans that will never come to fruition is honestly a normal thing for them and bruce planning out a hypothetical is just another tuesday, and it was steph who set it into motion -> yes, but... and so on and so forth endlessly until the end of time. like, whether things were out of character or whatnot is a valid discussion (though all comics characters are doomed for stories where they're out of character), but putting that aside: the fact is, for every character's trajectory into the reborn era, war games had to happen. and for war games to have ever seen the light of day and happened, steph had to make the decision to send those letters.

and so we're left with this. steph made those decisions because of horrificly sexist behind the scenes decisions. if steph didn't make those decisions, then no other character trajectory makes sense. and that's how we end up with a steph conundrum that is so much harder to fix than any other character assasination of the time. because cass's was easy to retcon as brainwashing, it makes sense for slade being involved. leslie was easy to retcon as faking steph's death, that removes her intent to kill a child and restores her original characterization of every life is sacrosanct. but war games? war games does not and can not happen unless stephanie decides to send those letters. things with tim and barbara and cass and even through steph becoming batgirl don't happen unless steph sends those letters. and when she sends those letters, hundreds of innocent people die and even though bruce is largely to blame (and is blamed, by the narrative), there is a culpability of steph's active decision in the entire mess that exists.

and if that culpability exists, if she sent those letters and war games happened, and innocent people died and barbara had to blow up her home and tim had to do cpr with darla's blood pouring over his hands and dick got shot in the knee and had to find tim in an active massacre, and cass lost herself to grief, then from an in-universe perspective while it's easy to for them to blame bruce for the majority of it, it also is true that every single one of those people has the right to question whether she is capable of making good judgements because of the extremely bad one she made that had so many in-universe consequences & they were all victims of it. from an out of universe perspective, it is so, so, so hard to put that kind of culpability on her, though, because of the sexism involved in deciding to make her make those decisions.

(as an aside. you also get this same issue that occurs as a part of the last arc of the robin series--wherein in order to justify steph no longer being spoiler and graduate her to batgirl, they need her to make a mistake so bad it would justify the idea that spoiler is a tainted mantle & she can't go back to it--so they decide that she needs to hire assassins to try and kill tim under batman's orders. now this is stupid & nonsensical, and she makes a mistake like that due to writer sexism thinking that that was the way to go. but her making that mistake and hiring those assassins is essential to the overall self isolation of tim & him being unable to trust her amongst everyone else that he needs to be in the headspace to kick of red robin & steph needs to have made a mistake that taints the spoiler mantle & makes people not want her to be it otherwise why would she become batgirl... it's messy. very messy.)

but because of all the horrific sexism out of universe behind the decision to write her to do these things, you're left with. hm. it is hard to want to make her have any culpability because that would just be entrenching the sexist writing she's had & she was the biggest victim, but to just completely throw it out is to make every other character appear completely irrational and unreasonable when it comes to dealing with steph. and that's truly hard for dc--who, once they make her a headlining character in her own right as batgirl, now has to be a lot more careful when dealing with steph. because if any other character does have reasonable concerns about steph continuing to exist as a vigilante after the decisions she made that sparked off war games, or hire assassins for tim, or etc etc etc then you risk people being like "no, maybe these people have a point. maybe these people shouldn't have to work with her if they feel at all uncomfortable by decisions she made that resulted in truly terrible times for them."

so you end up. dc finally has to do something grand, something triumphant for stephanie's character to make up for the completely atrocious way she was treated before. and you get batgirl 2009, which is a triumph for her character, it's the approval she's always deserved but never given, she finally gets to show all her naysayers that she's worth it--that they were all wrong about her and she deserves to be there just as much as them. and she does deserve a big doylist apology--she was treated terribly & cruelly & it wasn't right for dc editorial to do so. but you run into. hm. this problem of in order to make this big doylist apology work, you need everything that came before it to have happened. because it's a big doylist apology you can't actually have it that those things to have happened because if steph has to prove herself to the naysayers, the naysayers have to be completely wrong about her.

and that's hard given we're in reborn era and bruce is "dead". because in that case, steph's naysayers have to be barbara, tim, & dick. and while steph shouldn't have to prostrate herself for forgiveness & they shouldn't blame her for everything ever (they've all had their own issues where they've made mistakes, some with tragic consequences, and therefore can't call the kettle black), the problem with having to make them her naysayers is that you have to make them unreasonable about her & that's hard to do when they were all victims of something that occurred in part due to a decision she made. you have barbara, who should be able to have reasonable concerns about whether steph is fit for the job because she had to blow up her own sace space because steph sent those letters. but you can't acknowledge that because that would be entrenching the sexism behind that decision. so you make it so barbara is the one in the wrong about her. you have dick, who should not be able to look at stephanie without remembering his little brother calling him, wanting to commit suicide over everything that's happened, without remembering the tim at the edge of the pit, without remembering getting the call-code 619-and realizing that tim's at the site of a massacre occurring at his school and could be dead, and he gets to realize he was completely wrong about her with no consideration to what complicated personal feelings he may have about her on account of his own most precious relationships. you have tim, who does have things to apologize to her about, to be sure, but has to be cast as completely in the wrong despite the things she did having to have happened such as hire assassins & everything he had to endure as a result of her sending those letters. and that's not to say that any of this means that she shouldn't be a vigilante of course, you can't have a double standard where male characters are allowed to make mistakes and continue on regardless of mistakes made and not afford that same grace to female characters. but at the same time, it's uncomfortable to cast barbaba, dick, and tim in the role of naysayers to be overcome because that erases their victimization by the events that had to have happened in order to make it to this point. and again, they don't have to blame her to feel like it's her fault to have reasonable discomfort because discomfort =/= blame, necessarily.

and you get into this entire mess solely because of the decisions didio made because he hated her character and was determined to destroy it. and it's gross! we hate didio! but like. way back to my original thought, in a way, he did succeed a little. because of the horrific things that happened to her due to cruel and gross out of universe editorial decisions, you do have to be extra delicate with the character. you've lost the ability to show steph making any sort of mistake that has significant ramifications because to do so is to go back to war games & all the baggage that that entails. you need to play it incredibly safe with her. she can't be shown to be in the wrong because of the horrific way she was treated. at the same time, you need things to have happened, but you need things to not have happened. it's just a lot of baggage for a character, and there's probably a reason why they still play it safe by sticking her with tim (until they broke up) and now cass. it's uncontroversial after everything she's been put through. idk. i think current continuity is the best chance to finally really do something interesting with her again given that the mistakes of the past are so softened and don't need to be forefront to the character anymore because we are in an era ripe for things happened but they didn't happen, but will they? i don't know.

#anywho this is probably super incoherent #but this is also the thing i rotate in my mind when i think about steph #this is why i like to envision steph as an unreliable narrator of bg #because then you have more space for the fact that others were also victims and they're not necessarily unreasonable #but since steph is also extremely traumatized and a victim of horrific things she has to not thing about the ramifications of her decisions #or something idk

[eksvaized]

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After his date with you, Simon made a firm promise to himself to avoid impulsive actions and reckless behaviour. However, by Friday evening, he was overwhelmed by restlessness. The thought of you spending time with another man while he sat at home was unbearable, so wanting to see if his hypothesis about Matt being the reason you were busy today, he decided to pay you a visit.

To his disappointment, he saw Matt’s car parked in your driveway when he reached your house. His heart sank. He pulled out a lighter and a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. While smoking, he contemplated what to do. He knew the sensible thing would be to turn around and walk away, someplace else. However, his jealously anchored him down, keeping him in place.

By the time he lit a third cigarette, he had made a comprise with himself. He realised he couldn’t spend the rest of the night lurking around your home. However, before leaving, he would peek inside and satisfy his hunger for seeing you.

In the shrouded darkness of the late night, he crept into your backyard. His black jacket merged seamlessly with the shadows. The hood of the sweater was pulled low over his forehead, concealing his face. If anyone saw him, he preferred to be mistaken for a prowler or burglar, which wasn’t uncommon in this neighbourhood.

With an intensity that could only be described as eagerness, Simon scanned each window of the house, his eyes darting from one to the next. A wave of disappointment washed over him. Every window, without exception, was dark; the curtains were drawn tight to block out any prying eyes. Simon’s frustration grew, and his chest tightened. However, after what felt like an eternity, his eyes landed on the kitchen window, which had no blinds on it. He realised that if he angled himself just right, he could see into your living room.

You were sitting on the couch, legs crossed, with Matt beside you. There was an open bottle of wine and two empty glasses on the coffee table. Simon clenched his jaw, forcing himself to stop grinding his teeth for fear they might shatter. He noticed Matt’s arm snaking around your shoulders, drawing you in closer. You didn’t push him away.

Initially, you two just appeared to be talking and drinking. Nothing more. But the longer Simon stood there watching, his face inches away from the window, his breath fogging up the glass, the worse it got. Matt’s hands never left your body. He kept brushing his fingers over your skin, his digits tracing your jaw before he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. You laughed, said something, and then looked away. When you turned your gaze back to Matt, he leaned in and kissed you.

Simon had to close his eyes for a moment. The wind was frigid, threatening to make him shiver. However, the burning rage, jealousy, and possessiveness coursing through his veins kept him warm.

A kiss was something Simon could let you have. He could tolerate you kissing other men while you were still not officially together. But it wasn’t enough for Matt, who stood up and offered his hand for you to take. Simon couldn’t see your expression, but whatever Matt had uttered as his lips brushed lightly against the shell of your ear made you nod your head. Your fingers intertwined with his, allowing him to pull you up. You and Matt vanished from Simon’s sight. When the light switched on upstairs and two shadows merged into one, Simon knew Matt had taken you to your bedroom.

The desire to wreak havoc consumed Simon, yearning to unleash his pent-up anger through destruction. He intended to make Matt regret even thinking that he could have you. Matt had no right to touch you or be in your bedroom. Simon was supposed to be the one you wanted to spend the night with.

Something flipped in Simon, like a switch, unlocking and realising the darkness that had been lurking in the corners of his consciousness. He was too emotionally charged to think clearly. He spent the remainder of the evening strolling down the empty street. As he reached the end of it, he would turn back, heading towards your house again, only to find himself repeating the process. Each time he would notice Matt’s car still parked in the driveway, it would serve as a stark reminder that he was still inside your home, still in your bed.

Simon, clutching his last cigarette, pressed his body against a tree, concealed in shadows where a broken lamppost left the street dark. He was smoking and waiting, his intense gaze fixed on the front door of the house. As it creaked open, Matt slipped out, his footsteps punctuating the eerie silence of the night. For a brief moment, Simon thought Matt might get in his car and drive away. However, even Matt wasn’t reckless enough to do that. Instead, he started walking down the street, wobbling with each step. Simon followed him.

Matt, in his drunken state, failed to notice that someone had their eyes glued to his back. He even forgot to lock the door of his house, in front of which now Simon found himself standing as his fingers coiled tightly around the handle. There was a muted voice in his head, urging him to leave before he did something he might regret. He was about to listen to it, thinking that instead of lingering here, he should stop by your house on the way home, and see whether you made sure to lock your front door.

However, as soon as he thought of you, a flood of vivid images invaded his mind - images of you with Matt, of him taking you to your bedroom, and the sounds from your bedroom window - low moans, hungry grunts, and desperate whimpers. After drawing a shaky breath and feeling the cold metal of the door handle in his hand, he made his decision.

He pushed the door open and stepped inside Matt’s home.

Aside from the dim glow emanating from the kitchen, and a faint light at the end of a long hallway, where Simon predicted the bedroom was, the rest of the house was shrouded in darkness. Simon moved slowly towards the ajar door. His heavy boots made no sound with each step. He could hear Matt pacing around the room.

Simon had no idea what he was doing. However, as doubts began to surface, he quickly dismissed them. A moment of hesitation crossed his mind, but he found himself past the point of retreat when he accidentally kicked a pair of shoes, which he failed to see in the dark. Now, after alerting Matt of his presence, Simon can't leave.

“Who’s out there?” Matt called out, trying to sound confident, but Simon detected uncertainty in his voice.

Simon came to a halt in front of the bedroom door. He tensed his body, his muscles coiled as he straightened his back. In an attempt to remain calm, he took a slow, deep breath, allowing the air to fill his lungs before exhaling and clearing his turbulent mind. When the door finally swung open, time seemed to stop, creating a moment of eerie stillness. Matt’s eyes, wide and filled with fear, fell on the tall, imposing figure standing in front of him. After coming to his senses, he took a big step back, his hand instinctively reaching out to grasp the door, his fingers curling around it. Matt tried to shut the door, but Simon, having expected this, didn’t hesitate and stuck his foot inside, preventing him from doing so. Despite Matt throwing his entire weight against the door, his heels digging into the ground, Simon, with a surprising amount of ease, pushed the door fully open, causing Matt to fall backwards and land on his back as Simon stepped inside.

In a desperate attempt to protect himself, Matt tried to roll over and distance himself from Simon. But before he could stand, Simon leapt onto him. He pressed his knee to Matt’s chest and pinned him down. Simon’s fingers wrapped around the fabric of Matt’s shirt, and he scooped him up by the collar. With swift and precise movement, not holding his strength back, Simon threw the first punch. The sound of it echoing off the room walls.

Matt cried out in pain. His arms flailed around in a futile attempt to defend himself, his fingers desperately trying to grab onto anything that could give him leverage. His legs kicked out, but no matter how much his body trashed around, he wasn’t able to push Simon off of him.

Simon continued his assault. His punches were powerful, each one landing with a force that made Matt’s eyes roll to the back of his head. Ultimately, Matt wasn’t able to bear it all. The pain was too much for him to handle. His consciousness slipped away, and his body went limp in Simon’s bloody hands.

It felt good to beat Matt up, to hear the sickening crunch of his bones, to see his face get smeared with his own blood. But... what now? As the adrenaline began to slowly wear off, Simon returned to a harsh reality where he had to face the consequences of his impulsive actions. He couldn’t leave Matt. If he regained consciousness, the first thing he would do was call the police. Simon didn’t want the authorities to get involved. Because even though Matt had no clue who he was, he didn’t know his name, somehow... something could lead them to Simon, and the last thing he wanted was to be caught.

While his mind worked, trying to come up with a plan on the spot, Simon hauled Matt to the bed. Using a belt he found on the floor, which had been kicked under the bed, Simon tied his hand to the headboard. However, he knew that bounding Matt to the bed wouldn’t be able to keep him down for long. Simon needed time, and the only way to ensure he had plenty of it was to sedate him.

His eyes darted around the room and landed on a bottle of sleeping pills, conveniently placed on the nightstand. Without hesitating, he grounded a handful of them into a fine powder. As he was doing so, Matt began to stir, his low groans of pain echoing in the room as he blinked, trying to recall what had happened. Knowing it was only a matter of seconds before he became alert and started screaming, Simon forced him to drink a glass of water that he had laced with the crushed sleeping pills. He gave Matt three times the standard dose. And soon after that, Matt’s eyes glazed over and he went out like a light.

Simon realised he couldn’t afford to make any errors right now.

Matt couldn’t be left at his house. Simon had to hide him somewhere secure while he planned his next move. He owned a piece of small land on the outskirts of the city. There was a run-down shed, unsuitable for living and mostly used for storing unwanted items; he decided to take Matt here, stick him in the basement and keep him locked until he figured out what to do with him.

Perhaps Matt had a dirty secret, which could be held over his head. Surely, there must be something incriminating about him; all Simon needed to do was dig a little. However, there was one issue with this plan: Simon didn’t have a car. He had no means of discreetly smuggling Matt out of here without being seen. As the night faded and dawn approached, time was running out. If he wanted to take advantage of the cover of darkness, he needed to act swiftly.

Simon left Matt’s house and returned to yours, but he was not there to see you. After making sure no prying eyes were watching and you were asleep (there was no light seeping out of your house, suggesting you weren’t awoke), with the keys he had earlier fetched out of Matt’s jeans pocket, he unlocked the car, which was left in your driveway, and climbed in. His heart was hammering in his chest, but not daring to waste a single second, he started the engine and drove away.

There was a chance that the soft roar of the engine might have stirred you from your slumber, but Simon hoped that if you glanced out of the window and noticed the car’s taillights shrinking in the distance, you would just assume it was Matt.

Simon parked the car in Matt’s garage, which ensured that no one saw how he grappled with Matt, his hands were still tied with a belt, but he kicked, squirmed and protested against Simon’s grip. However, Matt was no match for Simon, so eventually, no matter how hard he tried to escape, Simon managed to dump his flailing body into the trunk. To prevent any further attempts to break free, Simon knocked Matt out.

Simon was behind the wheel, navigating the desolate roads, when Matt woke from his slumber. Simon tried to block the sound of muffled Matt’s voice. Despite being gagged with a piece of cloth to prevent his cries from alerting passersby, Matt was relentless in expressing his fear.

Simon’s mind was a battleground, his desire to quell his thoughts and doubts constantly overshadowed by the relentless voice in his head, growing louder with each passing moment.

Was he making a mistake?

What the fuck was he even doing?

Why?

But, when his thoughts began to spiral out of control too much, an image of you surfaced in his mind, reminding him that he was doing everything because he wanted to keep you safe, ensure your happiness and make your life easier. It was all for you... and if it was for you, no matter how far Simon went or what he did, it was all worth it.

You were worth it.

#simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #writing #simon ghost riley #cod #ghost x y/n #ghost x reader #ghost x you #call of duty #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #ghost #cod ghost #PO2 #cod x reader

[yanderes-galore]

I really like the idea of yandere TMNT 2012 Leo vs Raph concept. Not only do they fight all the time, but add a darling to the list and it's just non stop fights all the time

Very true! I'll just spill my thoughts into this so sorry if it seems incoherent.

Yandere! 2012! Leonardo vs Yandere! 2012! Raphael

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic - Rivalry

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Violence, Anger issues, Jealousy, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Protective behavior, Isolation, Kidnapping mentioned at times, Murder/Murder attempts mentioned, Dubious companionship, Blood.

I feel both platonic and romantic intentions would cause tension between the two.

The two already fight for various reasons as is, yet they do care for each other.

Leonardo is the leader and often is shown the most attention because of that, which Raph is envious of in earlier seasons.

I actually feel the reason of this rivalry would be the fact Raphael is envious his brother can appeal to you so easily.

Raphael has anger problems to the point he's destructive to those around him, even if he doesn't mean it.

However I don't want people to think he's only violence.

2012 Raphael may be one of the more violent versions of the character, but he does love his darling.

When in a good mood he does like to hold you close and utilize his darling for comfort.

He'd be more likely to be softer when Spike becomes Slash and leaves.

He resorts to his darling for comfort and gets frustrated at the idea of losing you.

It also tends to make him treat you like a pet.

Leonardo is a yandere who tends to be the same rather than change like Raph.

While Raph tends to be a violent possessive yandere that has his moments as softer yandere, Leonardo is usually always a protective and sometimes suffocating yandere.

I feel the fighting between the two can range from sibling spats to violent duels.

It just depends on how worked up they are.

I feel it doesn't matter who you meet first in this case.

Raphael would be envious that Leonardo gets along with you either way.

Raphael likes to have you as his and his alone.

Even if he has to fight for it.

Leonardo is similar except he views it in the more protective sense, you're his because he feels he's the most capable of keeping you safe.

Their motives are another reason they argue.

Raph always complains that Leonardo is trying to steal you from him or something.

Meanwhile Leonardo thinks Raphael is incapable of protecting you due to how reckless he is.

Their rivalry is much different than their 2018 counterparts.

2018 Leo and Raph mostly are physically affectionate and keep fighting rather sibling-like for the most part.

2012 Leo and Raph don't mind fighting until the other bleeds over you due to jealousy, or at least Raph doesn't.

In terms of who's most affectionate there's no doubt it's Leonardo.

Leonardo is softer and very caring, often locking you away due to paranoia instead of possession.

Although the line between possession and protection are rather thin with him.

Raphael would be the type to lock you away in his room just to keep you away from others like Leo.

Not really for protection, mostly so he has you to himself.

It's obvious Raphael doesn't like the idea of sharing with others.

Leonardo is okay somewhat with you talking to others but often tries to redirect your attention instead of attacking them.

Them fighting can be brutal or tame.

Anything from a verbal argument/threats to them ending up covered in blood from the other.

Any fight they have puts you off and scares you.

Both yanderes are capable of kidnapping.

Raphael resorts to violence/murder more often than Leo.

Leonardo only resorts to violence if he feels it'll protect you.

You are right that it would be hard to have them work together if they are so upset about their darling issue.

It's happened in the past the the two would fight for authority or attention to the point it hurts the team.

How they get over you is probably the worst due to the fact they are never going to agree.

I don't even think they have to slander each other.

Raph's violent nature is enough for Leonardo to try and convince you Raph is an issue.

While Raphael tends to ignore manipulation unless it's threats.

He can just take what he wants.

They are both violent because they fear losing you.

Raphael just so happens to have an issue controlling such anger.

In terms of killing each other, Raph may attempt it but Leonardo tries not to.

They do still care for each other even if they don't agree when it comes to you.

Darling would frequently be given the role of mediator between the two.

That's probably the only way to stop their fighting momentarily, Donatello and Michelangelo may try to help too.p

They both try to brainwash you once they get you alone.

You'd be more prone to believe Leo even if he's almost just as bad.

Leo would never try to hurt you...

Raph would if he lost his cool or felt you deserved it somehow even though he loves you.

They both are pretty bad and destructive in their own ways.

I can see them setting up a final fight to settle things if it came to you.

It may end in bloodshed... it may even end with one of them dead...

But they'd do anything for you, right?

#yandere teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere tmnt 2012 #yandere tmnt #yandere raphael #yandere leonardo #yandere tmnt 2012 raphael #yandere tmnt 2012 leonardo

[sokoviansimp]

Fear, Guilt, & Hope

Part 1.5 to Love's Triumph: A Maximoff Miracle

✒ Pairings: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

✒ Summary: Wanda finds out that you're pregnant in the hospital while you fight for your life.

✒ Tags and Warnings: angst

✒ Author's Note: So, this takes place in the middle of the first part, here we see Wanda's POV while reader is unconscious in the hospital. You can all thank @xxxtwilightaxelxxx for this one. Hope you like it :)

✒ Word Count: 984

✒ Read Time: 5 minutes

Masterlist : Socials

Wanda sat by your hospital bed, her heart heavy with worry. Her beloved wife lay unconscious, battered, and bruised from the battle they had fought against Hydra. The room was quiet except for the soft hum of medical equipment and the distant sounds of the hospital.

As she held your hand, Wanda's thoughts swirled with a mix of fear, guilt, and confusion. She couldn't bear to see you like this, so vulnerable, and it tore at her soul. Her mind replayed the events of the battle, the moment when she had found you buried beneath the rubble, unconscious and unresponsive. The image haunted her.

A nurse entered the room, a sympathetic look in her eyes. "Mrs. Maximoff, we've received the results of the tests we ran on your wife," she said gently.

Wanda nodded, her heart pounding. "What is it? Is she going to be okay?"

The nurse smiled warmly. "Physically, she'll recover. They both should be just fine, Y/N just needs a bit of time for her body to decide it’s time to wake up."

Relief washed over Wanda, but her mind hung on that one word, “I’m sorry, both?”

“Yes, both Y/N and the baby should be just fine.” the doctor clarified. 

Wanda's world seemed to spin. Baby? You’re pregnant? It was a mixture of joy and terror that washed over her. “We’re having a baby,” Wanda whispered as she smiled and looked down at you, her eyes filling with tears.

Tears of joy for the new life they had created together, but also tears of fear for what it meant for their future. Wanda had always been aware of the destructive power of her abilities, the chaos that lurked not only within her but around her. She had kept it at bay as best as she could, but now, with you carrying their child, the weight of responsibility bore down on her like never before.

The nurse's voice brought her back to the present. "I can imagine this is a lot to process. We have counselors available if you'd like to talk to someone."

Wanda nodded, her voice trembling. "Thank you, but I think I just need a moment alone with my wife, please."

Alone again, Wanda turned her attention back to you. Her heart ached with love and worry. She reached out to gently stroke your cheek, her thumb wiping away a stray tear that had fallen from her own eyes.

"Oh God, Y/N. This is what we’ve wanted for so long and- and now that it’s here, I-I don't know if I can do this," Wanda whispered, her voice filled with anxiety and self-doubt. "What have I done?" Wanda continued to herself, her voice shaking. She had always known that her powers were unpredictable, that they could bring destruction as easily as protection. But now, with you carrying their child, the reality of the situation was suffocating her.

She couldn't shake the fear that she might either unintentionally harm you or their unborn child, or not be enough to save one of you. Every memory of her past mistakes and the chaos she had caused haunted her like ghosts. The room seemed to close in around her, and she felt utterly powerless. What she had thought was a brilliant idea at one time with you by her side, is now something she can’t even fathom as a miracle but rather a curse. 

Wanda reached out, her trembling hand brushing your cheek as if seeking some kind of reassurance. "Please, Y/N," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "Wake up. I need you."

Time seemed to crawl as Wanda sat there, her anxiety growing with each passing minute. She couldn't help but blame herself for your current condition. If she hadn't been so reckless during the battle, if she had been more aware of her surroundings, if she had seen that blue streak quicker then maybe she could’ve stopped it...

The blue streak, an all too familiar sight. It had to be her brother, she was sure of it. She had seen that exact display countless times before, whether it was to steal a purse from a display window for a girl he fancied, or a way to sneak past enemy lines. It was him, and yet all she had heard from her friends since his disappearance in Sokovia was that he was dead, gone, never coming back. Guilt washed over her like a tidal wave. She knew that wasn’t the case and yet she let them convince her of it. Her suspicions fell on deaf ears, and one day she let them persuade her that it was just a part of grief. 

If she had just stayed true to her instincts maybe you wouldn’t be lying in a hospital bed right now. Maybe she would’ve been prepared to face him. Once her thoughts had run through all the guilt of what she could’ve done differently to protect you, it swiftly drifted to what they had done to Pietro. Why was he with them? How? What kind of torture or manipulation had they subjected him to that he would fight against her, his own twin, and the Avengers? The thought filled her with a mixture of anger and sorrow. 

She was determined to save her brother from Hydra’s antics. As soon as she managed to temporarily push that other thought aside, it inevitably returned to remind her of the daunting reality: she was expecting a child. With her plate already seemingly overflowing, the added responsibility of saving her brother was surely a lot to balance. Surely a rescue mission will put an even larger target on her family’s back, but the tantalizing closeness to reuniting with him and the fact that he will be able to meet her future child fills her heart with a speckle of joy and just enough hope to keep her going.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff x you #wanda mcu #wanda #wanda fanfic #angst #wanda angst #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #wanda x you #hydra #pietro maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff fanfic #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff x female reader #scarlet witch #aou #hospital #wanda hospital #the scarlet witch #anxiety #lgbt #lesbian #wanda gay

[emyluwinter]

Okay, fine.

They liked my short ideas on this idea and asked me to do another part.

It will definitely be very messy and will have errors. So I'm sorry if I miss any inaccuracies somewhere or make an invention in the plot I decided to demand less from myself. Therefore, weak text is better than not written text at all.

I also tried to mark everyone who asked under that original post. I'm sorry if I missed someone. the first part -

For the record….do not write with a nagging constant two-day pain like me.

Warning - self-destruction, nervous breakdown, manipulation and intimidation. Anxiety and depressive disorder. PTRS.

Following the President of the School Board through the corridors of the Noble Bell College, Yuu could not get rid of the nauseating taste of something nasty bitter and bilious. Disgusting, unpleasant, caustic, remaining on the tip of the tongue for so long that they wanted to brush every inch. Their hands continued to shake as if denying the very existence of any control over them. Hidden behind the back or pockets, so as not to give away a single second of weakness of the body. Weak legs barely dragged to make awkward steps. Wadded, swollen, Yuu could make up their own dictionary of synonyms to describe their deplorable condition. Every cell of them literally begged for rest, begged for peace and a blissful recovery. Pouring through the veins with a heavy metallic substance that tightened and dried up every second of the breath of life….

Right.

Less than a week has passed since a nervous breakdown occurred away from all eyes. And they already demanded from themselves to close this event again in a deep box at a depth that no light falls and the pressure will crush the bones of anyone who tries to at least get close to this pandora's chest.No one should know about this. Not a single "living soul".

But it doesn't matter now…

Right now, it was more important for Yuu to get the permission of the Director of the Noble Bell College. Without at least a vague, not very detailed plan, fleeing and leaving the Night Raven was extremely reckless. It was a foolhardy naive decision that they had to believe, sincerely believe that Yuu could trust others. How many times did they have to come up with a plan on the go? How many times to give hints to others and not even be heard?

It was as if they were left on hot coals and the time was lost in every second. All these moments, all these cases when their words really had weight and meaning for others. Looking back, it was all too clear that they were barely enough for a handful of sand the size of a field mouse's paw. Everything to please others, nothing to do for ourselves. One of the most difficult tasks or a chain of intricate quests that were born in their head, which must be completed without exception. Before they can give themselves some rest.

The first. Go to the college grounds and find someone from the trinity who knows them personally by sight.

The difficulty is that this is a closed institution, without an invitation from the outside, you cannot pass and contact anyone. To meet Rollo Flamme is a good option, in Yuu's opinion, he harbored some kind of special strange kindness and tenderness because of their "pure soul and noble heart" in the form of the absence of any magic. A strange guy, but now anyone who will not refuse at least a simple overnight stay will do.

The second

is that no matter who is found, we must remain honest. It was carved into all the fragments of the heart and what was left of Yuu. Honestly tell everything without this damned lies and tricks, deception and manipulations with which they were fed up to hoarse vocal cords. Tell them that they need a place where they could stay until adulthood. Be a janitor? It'll do. To be a man who will plow to the bone crunch just to earn himself a couple of extra madols to get back on his feet? Not the most desirable option, but now their presence is in a negative value. You choose the lesser of two evils.

The third

is to get to the college principal to talk directly and ask for a place before graduation. Not even don't as a student. What the hell kind of study is it, maybe, if Yuu won't apply it for a fraction of a second of his life?!

They will not be hired just because of their knowledge of magic, if there is no magic itself. Even weighing everything from the rational side, Yuu agreed that this would be the most delusional development of events that they can only imagine. In addition, if there is still a chance that they will return home….

They will not only have any knowledge in order to find a job, they will not have any necessary experience behind them in order to integrate back into society.

They will need to start all over again. Again. Like a hamster in a wheel without seeing either the end or the beginning.

An excellent option would be if their training is related to purely household things. Yuu are already very good at repairing things, even in their own world they could find something similar. If they come back….

If only they hadn't been thrown away as an unnecessary thing….

No.No.No. Not now.

"Pull yourself together, we have almost reached the third point. Everything will be fine…"

Take a deep breath, rummaging in your pants pocket and finding a small box, Yuu took out one mint lollipop and quickly sent it into they mouth. To suppress this stupid nausea and distract from the fact that they are getting chills. It's been hours. As if they are in icy water, heavy and prickly. It's good that they have already learned to control their appearance so much that it's not so obvious.

Judging by Flamme's short stories while they were heading to the office, the Principal of the Noble Bell College is a very kind and very wise man. Taking another deep breath through his nose, Yuu straightens up when they reach the office. They had experienced so many dangerous and deadly events that the usual dialogue with someone older was ridiculously harmless.

****

-I don't believe my ears… - The Director exclaimed in amazement. He was an aged man, with a straight, not arrogant posture, but confident and honed with the years he had lived. A large, age-wise forehead, with deep wrinkles dotted all over his face, not at all repulsive from his good-natured appearance.

Yuu really liked his fluffy thick gray eyebrows, which stand out sharply from all the features. And sideburns. They were so fluffy that it seemed a little comical despite his strict appearance.

-Rollo, this is the first time I've heard you ask for a college place for someone. Taking someone in the middle of the semester..

Softly and politely clearing his throat, drawing attention to himself, Yuu added. -Sorry to interrupt, sir….I agree not even to be a student. If you will allow and pay your attention, listen to my situation completely. After looking at the two teenagers who took turns arriving quite early in his office, the Director pointed to a small table and several chairs in front of his desk.

-Have a seat, I think we have a long conversation ahead of us. Rollo, please pour a glass of water for our guests. They look very unhealthy, I'm afraid that we need to go to the infirmary after our conversation.

-Yes, sir. - nodding politely in agreement, Flamme quickly went to a table near the wall, and taking a carafe of water began to fill glasses for them all. Yuu lowered the backpack next to his feet, slowly settled down on one of the chairs right in front of the director's desk.

-So…My name is Idiv Oden, I am the principal of Noble Bell College. And as far as I can remember, Rollo was talking about one very memorable student without magic from Night Raven College. After introducing himself, Oden glanced briefly at Rollo, who loudly knocked the tip of the decanter's beak on the glass when he was mentioned like that.

Apparently, he was somewhat confused by the fact that this particular detail was remembered. The director apparently looked like a grandfather who diligently looks after his grandson. If only he knew how bad this grandson was. Well, a good alignment in Yuu's opinion. In any case, it is better to feel some polite goodwill than open hostility and swearing, which I had to face on a daily basis.

-My name is Yuu, sir. And…. - it turned out to be more difficult to start than Yuu expected, nervously licking his lips, trying to calm the trembling in his hands and voice. Taking another short breath, Yuu tried to lay out all the cards that they have now. Leaving a couple of details for those options when they may be needed more than now.

-If I was able to find the information correctly in the past. The building where the Noble Bell is located and now it is a college… was a place of refuge for anyone who needed and asked for it……I don't have any kind of magic, and frankly, I don't intend to be your student. I just need a place where I can live for the next two years. Of course, I will try and work to pay for everything.

Two years. It is this time period that would be enough for all those people who knew Yuu, whom they once treasured, to graduate from college and the memory of the student without magic erased from their memory. Two years to lay low, not to attract attention and views from the island of sages. Not to see that damn uniform or any of the familiar faces. Two years to sew up the remnants and patches that remained of their hearts, anew and hide from all eyes as soon as possible. Considering this "thing" too unnecessary in this world, but necessary to at least live a little further. And two years… to try to find a solid, unshakable foundation under your feet. The one that Yuu can't lose anymore or someone will steal it on a whim. Even if they have to face the painful fact that they will not return home and will remain in this world for the rest of their lives…

They will think about it a little later, now something else is more important.

-That's right. Once upon a time, a righteous judge was so kind-hearted that he did not deny anyone in need if their thoughts were pure…But child, please tell me why did you drop out of Night raven College so suddenly?

Judging by the look, it was possible to understand Director Auden that he was trying to find out all the details of Yuu's situation. And to understand their good intentions or not.

Noble Bell College is not a place that anyone can come and stay who wants. They will have to answer to the Ministries and the highest level on which the whole system rests. So, if the situation requires it, let's go back to one of the points of the task. If you need to enlist their support, you need honesty and proof. What could be better than a material answer to all their many questions. Words have no weight and meaning in helping Yuu. They've already burned it on every inch of their every bone. No one will listen to a teenager without magic. Show me, not tell me.

-Because of circumstances that I couldn't take anymore. - Taking a glass of water from Rollo's hands, Yuu took a big sip to calm their nerves a little, hurried to leave the glass on the table next to it. Rummaging in his breast pocket and taking out a weighty envelope, Yuu handed it to the Director.

-Here are photos in the place where I lived for more than six months … also in the envelope there is a cassette and a small player that will make it clear to you that I was in a state of painful… dependence on Director Dair Crowley…

Taking the envelope and hastily opening it, Director Oden gestured for Flamme to come closer and personally look at the photos. He wanted to get the opinion of one of his trusted students for a solution.

It was somewhat funny for Yuu to see the full range of emotions reflected on their faces.

Initially there was shock and surprise, it seemed that their caps almost flew to the ceiling from their outburst of magic, misunderstanding and denial of what they saw replaced their initial reaction. Then disgust and disgust, which were replaced by irritation and some rage in their eyes.

The photos were completely convincing, mold that ruined most of some rooms in constant humidity. The ceiling, the corners of the windows, on the floor or walls, did not matter. Wild poison ivy invaded the entire garden and the back extension with firewood, which could not be approached without pruning shears and protective gloves. Glass strewn like a sandy beach all over the floor on the floors next to boarded up windows. Collapsed roof beams spreading a view of the whole sky. Time-warped steps and crooked stairs that are about to collapse from a light breeze. Tons of dust and soot that buried the whole building…

Slowly sipping water from their glass, Yuu felt a little better, it looks like they had dehydration from the breakdown that happened a few days ago. Which didn't surprise they at all.

Yuu wondered if the righteous judge himself, who is so respected and loved here, would have kicked them out of the city from the first second? Or did he still try to believe them? Remembering their dreams about the Great Seven, Yuu decided that it would be better to never meet such a person at all, because it would definitely not end well for them.

-In the name of heaven….T-that's what.. mold on the walls?! And broken glass in boarded-up windows?! Have you been living there all this time alone?!

In the piggy bank for reasons to burn down the Night Raven College,in Flamme's head, a whole wave of coins had just descended, which could not even get into the slot. He shifted his angry gaze to the photos, his expression changed to complete confusion and some compassion in his eyes as he looked at Yuu sitting peacefully in front of them.

-No. I had a cat-like beast with me that had the breath of fire. With a very… proud and arrogant character. Which I was assigned to look after all the time. We were considered one student..there's also a picture of him setting fire to the curtains to get to the ghost. He served as the magical part of the training.

No matter how much Yuu wanted to get rid of any mention of his past, some photos and facts needed to be preserved.

Exchanging glances with the President of the school board, Idiv felt that the decision was already asking for the tip of his tongue without any deliberation. But still, his many years of experience behind him suggested that it was necessary to find out some details. Frowning sternly and sternly, Oden decided to ask more questions.

-Can you tell me where you got these photos from?

A little away from a direct answer to the question, telling about getting a Ghost Camera, Yuu were able to explain that first of all they took a photo of their dorm in the first week of arrival at college. At that moment, they thought it would be funny to see how the building has changed over time. On the other hand, it was direct, indisputable, genuine proof of their treatment. Proof that Yuu decided to keep for their trump moves if the situation forces them to provide. Then they could not even think that it would become something useful and necessary for them.

-The tape recorder is a recording of all my conversations with Director Crowley. Some may not have very good sound quality…..I had to ask someone tech savvy to rewrite everything on tape.

Crowley's usually stupid assignment is to look through and listen to all the surveillance video and audio cameras to find the moment where he dropped his keys to something important.

Who would have known that even such a small thing would bring benefits for Yuu.

To ask Ortho to find all the recordings of their conversations and countless requests, there are no threats and assignments without a choice from Crowley, and to rewrite them into several copies with a cassette, a flash drive and a small microchip, was child's play for the genius of Ignihide.

-There were more than enough photos… judging by your appearance, it's hard for you to interact with the Night Raven in any way.

-Thank you for understanding, sir.

Unsure that they would ever voluntarily want to hear Crowley's voice again, Yuu mentally thanked Diretor Oden for this decision.

-Excuse me, Yuu… but what about your documents?

Feeling a mixture of shame and despair, Yuu took out a thin, battered folder from his backpack and handed it also into the hands of Director Oden. No matter how disgusting the fact that Crowley did not lift a finger to make at least minimal documents for them, after all that they had to go through.

-I don't have a birth certificate, sir. A document of education or at which school tudied…Or the student's personal file, which is started as you know when enrolling…I don't have a letter or application for enrollment… all I can provide is a report card. Mine and half of the student in charge of magic. This will be a confirmation that I really have been at the Night Raven College all this time and have been studying there. Until recently…

Clenching his hands into fists, Yuu nervously rubbed his thumb over his index finger. How pathetic they felt now, there was at least something left in history from every person, from every life they had lived. Any documents, stories or objects. And Yuu didn't even have a little official paper that they really ever existed. That they lived. That they were trying to fit in where they shouldn't have been. A nasty slippery feeling, as if a slimy worm was settling somewhere in Yuu's insides. Why were they so blind? So naive? They were pointed out so many times that it was worth fleeing from this place as quickly as possible, but they stupidly ignored every sign that shouted at them about it. They really wanted to help others, they really thought that friendship and affection had their own weight and meaning. That even Grimm and Ace and Deuce really treasured them. But it was all a blatant lie… The lie that Yuu gave away everything they had on a painted plate for the monsters that devoured them without a trace.

-Based on what you said..you left the Night Raven because you lived in terrible conditions not designed for this building and Director Crowley blackmailed you with your position, right?

-Yes, sir. I also did their errands… well… most of the time.

-You can speak freely, child. Everything you say will stay here. Rollo can you guarantee that everything you have heard will not leave the walls of this office?

-Yes, Director. Everything that was not heard by me will remain a secret.

Thinking about some agreement between them, Flamme could not help but understand that this information does not bring Yuu any harm, on the contrary, it was very advantageous no matter how they laid out their cards.

-What exactly did you have to do? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Looking down at the floor, Yuu hesitantly went over every moment, every event that happened in the Night Raven. They should have chosen the information more carefully, more scrupulously, no matter how much they would like to forget all this. Even if their memory was constantly failing them, even if they had to keep a diary so they wouldn't forget. Don't forget this time, and never again. So as not to lose ourselves.

-A lot, sir… facing tyranny, manipulation and blackmail in dormitories, the threat of eviction from the building that you saw earlier. Attempts of poisoning with poisons and many other things… if you will allow me, I would not like to voice out loud…

Realizing that everything turned out to be much more complicated and confusing than it might seem at first glance, Director Oden frowned even more.

-You want to know why I left this place… despite everything I went through… there was a… very… difficult conversation with Director Crowley. Related to the fact that there is a new student, much better than me.

Feeling their heart begin to squeeze as if in a blacksmith's vise, squeezing between two anvils. Yuu tried not to remember that conversation.

-The bottom line was that they found a replacement for me….a human like me was no longer needed. Although I needed them the most in those weeks….And I… have decided never to have anything to do with Night Raven College or any of their residents again..

Clutching his staff to the point of convulsions, Rollo could hardly restrain his own rage and anger. Small sparks from his magic flew over his hat like tiny lightning and flashes of flame that tried to hide in front of a fiery tornado.

He could not cope with the feelings that came over him like a snow wave from what he heard.

IF only he could have snatched Yuu from the clutches of those rotting hearts and vile hands back then! What a blind fool he had been all this time!

While waiting for a decision, sitting in the corridor next to the office, Yuu felt as if they could not catch their breath. Their panic and anxiety caught up with them again as soon as the situation slowed down at least for a while. It was worth being alone and it broke out again, as they did not try to hide it or control it. Pressing his palms to his mouth, Yuu was trying to concentrate on breathing. No one should see them in this state. It doesn't hurt them, it doesn't tear them apart from the inside. They are safe, so far away from them, why are they terrified now and ready to scream until their ligaments break? Lowering his head and biting his index finger, Yuu felt the oxygen disappear from his surroundings. Are they drowning on land?! Their ribs are squeezed so hard that they can almost hear their cracking, such a loud ugly crunch of every bone in their skeleton.

Slowly…

Are their ankles slowly enveloped by black waves of water?

No… it was ink.

Ink?! Familiar to the horror, ink… from overblott. And someone's shoes?

No. No. no. no. No.

"You cowardly ran away, ignoring all the rules of this world!"

"Just look at you… you pathetic brat."

"You have nothing to offer, you are an insignificant being"

The painfully familiar voices, heard so many times, were now reflected distorted. Too loud, too unbearable, too poisonous to try to sort out their further buzzing in the ears.

"Just a rat"

"Ugliness… and you still dare to show yourself to people?"

All of them merged into some kind of white noise along with Yuu's confused breathing.

"It was worth staying with the dead"

"You're just a toy for the entertainment of others"

-Breathe….I beg you… breathe… please…. - they tried in vain to order Yuu to their crushed mind and body.

There is no one in this world who would comfort them now.

There is no one who really cares about them.

There is no one…

No one for them…

How much more time did Yuu try to cope with the panic and screams in his head, when before their eyes clouded with horror moments when they were on the thin line of death. Each time barely grasping at some unthinkable twist of luck.

They didn't know how long they had been in this state. Gradually everything quieted down, and only a quiet wheeze from their mouths reached their ears. How their whole being ached. Inside and out, there was not a single place where at least something of their past remained.

Finally catching their breath a little, Yuu looked around devastated. Has anyone noticed their condition?

No.

Good. Yes, that's good…..they can give themselves a break. Not for long. Taking out a bottle of water left for such occasions from their backpack, Yuu greedily drank at least half of it. If no one bothers them for a couple more minutes, no one will notice what happened to them.

No questions, no condemnation of their incompetence and inability to be flexible in such situations.

They would have been ridiculed if they were in the NRC. Yes, that's right. They ridiculed me and never let me forget about it. They needed to concentrate, to put aside their deplorable state. Again.

"If they don't agree… can I go to the ghost world?" - futilely trying to pick up options, Yuu let out a doomed sigh. They won't be allowed in there. They don't have a portable dark mirror that would teleport them to any place if they wanted to.

Refusal meant a return to another not very pleasant option. RSA. There were at least two people who were connected with the NRC, which definitely led to unnecessary questions and conversations. After putting the bottle in the backpack, Yuu covered their face with their palms. All they craved now was that they could get some rest and not decide anything. Depend on no one.

They are so….tired…

****

Everything that was said earlier by Yuu confused Rollo's thoughts and feelings. It's like they were stuffed into a faulty mixer with a broken power button. To come to NBC to be as far away from the island of the sage as possible, thereby giving themselves a guarantee that they will not cross paths with those people who literally pointed Yuu to the door as soon as they were no longer needed. Enlist support, because this is a more closed college than could be found in the world…No one will come here in their right mind, without serious reasons. Get all the evidence and documents in advance so that they have a means to not challenge their words.

They thought it through from the beginning.

Every move, every action. All these intricacies.

They gave themselves an advantage and a secret move that would ensure their safety and honesty in the eyes of others. Without arousing suspicion and doubt, without giving any even a hint that they have a sharp mind and foresight. All they did or collected for this was a weighty envelope with evidence, silently resting on the director's desk. Direct evidence that Yuu, a sixteen-year-old teenager who arrived from another world. They is a victim of circumstances and people who were like a suffocating web, tightly tightening every inch of their body. Sharp heavy chains that would deprive them of all freedom and opportunities.

Unable to cope with his whirlwind of thoughts, Rollo could not admire even more the fact that Yuu….

Yuu were so far-sighted and prepared for events that could not come in a mess of probabilities. And it amazed them to a slight tremor in every cell of his body.

They should not cross the road, because even minor things that they are doing now can play a huge role for them in the upcoming events. Everything that seemed to be completely insignificant from the outside, gained enormous weight in the future for Yuu.

Feeling goosebumps running through his skin from a little childish delight, Rollo could not resist being amazed at how smart Yuu are, more than they seem at first glance.

Not only the purest soul and a kind heart, but a honed and sharp mind that was hidden from everyone.

-Director Oden….you've already decided what we can do for them, haven't you? – having asked delicately, Rollo hoped with all his heart that such a person as Yuu would not be driven away. No, they can't do that.

-It will be difficult to explain all this to the Ministry and other higher authorities of education, my dear boy.. - Oden replied thoughtfully, rubbing his chin and considering each of the options.

-But Director Oden! We can't just kick them out on the street! - Flamme already pleaded, realizing his impotence. He was already ready to ask for them, without fully understanding why.

-Take your time, Rollo….I didn't talk about driving them away. They will remain at Noble Bell College for the time being. But it will take me a few days to discuss with colleagues and the Ministry to arrange everything as necessary. And yet….

Looking at the Director with excitement, Flamme felt that there must be something else.

-You're very worried about them, Rollo. I wouldn't want to burden you with additional responsibilities, considering how hard you work. So I'm just asking, will you agree to look after Yuu when you have a free minute? You can also ask others about it when you're busy.

-Yes, sir! Thank you for your trust in me, and for your kindness!

-Well, well, I'm not heartless enough to kick a lost child out on the street. But remember, I can't promise anything for sure.

-Yes, sir… I understand..

*****

Hah, it's been a long time since I've written so much. Enjoy it!

The name of the NBC Director is the twisted name of the voicing character Archdeacon from the cartoon The Hunchback of Notre Dame

@minkyungseokie @i-dont-fooken-know @melodycelestia @fuckingfaraway @arisdelssy @you-guys-cook-like-old-people-f

@bokkito @elloitsme69 @indecisivewriting @lazythingsdiplomatchick @stupidwingboy @myeagleexpert

#twst yuu #twst rollo #rollo flamm #nbc #Replacing AU #twst mc

[vinnigami]

What do you think about Narumi? 🍞

i liked the part where he talked to raidou about toast /ref

He’s awesome except the parts where he’s mean to women. kind of want to explode him for that. he makes funny faces that make me want to throw things at him.

^ face of a guy you should throw rocks at

Anyways, while I’ve only played Raidou 1 and read Lone Marebito I like how he interacts with Raidou too. It’s “go kill ghosts my unpaid intern” until something extremely dangerous happens like the army or Raidou is bleeding excessively again and now he’s protective and concerned because Raidou’s being reckless and self destructive about it. again

I think about this page so often. they’re so funny. i love them

#i do like him but you can’t tell because i also hate him. (affectionate) #narumi when will you apologize to women #not art #shio’s mailbox #He’s awesome because he’s semi responsible #smart enough to recognize that maybe raidou’s a little young to fight the army #but he is not paying rent he spent it all on expensive suit

[zodiactalks]

These 5 Zodiac Signs Can Be Outright Deadly

What makes someone dangerous or even deadly is a combination of things: Nature and nurture are very real when it comes to this kind of situation, as well as the abilities and skills that we collect over the years.

We all have the potential to be a danger to others, but some signs are just naturally more inclined to risky, even deadly behaviors.

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Scorpios are well known for their tendency to hold grudges and, worse, their willingness to seek revenge; One might think they just like to talk big, but Scorpios aren't known for their idle threats.

Their bite is a lot worse than their bark, and if they promise to get back to you, chances are they will.

Though Scorpios aren't known for being impulsive or explosive, their cool-headedness and patience are deadly weapons on their own.

Cancer

Jun 21 - Jul 22

When overwhelmed, some signs are known for exploding, some signs are known for avoiding, and some are known for shutting down and letting their instinct do the thinking for them.

Cancers are the later.

When pressed against a rock and a hard place, Cancers might do things they never would've done otherwise. Not because they were angry or scared but rather because their instincts decided to just do.

This survival instinct is a powerful tool that can help Cancers but can also be dangerous, if not downright deadly to others since no one can predict precisely what they'll do.

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Known for being kind, sensitive, emotional, and protective, it may come as a surprise to see this sign in this list.

However, like a momma bear, Pisces are capable of going from 0 to a 100 when it comes to protecting those they love and the things that matter to them.

It's not easy getting on the wrong side of such a compassionate sign, but once you do it, watch out because no amount of begging will get you on their good graces until after they've had their revenge.

What's worse, their revenge can be an explosive lashing-out or creative and well-planned destruction; They tend to veer towards the former but don't be surprised if Pisces take a page from the Scorpio book.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

It's no surprise to see Aries in this list. After all, they were born under the watchful eye of the god of War.

Impulsive, reckless and often without fear, Arises are known for acting first and thinking later, particularly when they're in a foul mood.

Aries aren't known for proportionate retribution either. Overkill is part of the course when it comes to dealing with them, so don't be surprised if they turn a tiny transgression into a full-on war.

Perhaps the only good thing about Aries tendencies for full-frontal, all-out attacks is that they're rarely well planned or discrete, which means you'll see them coming, though their ferocity might still surprise you.

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sept 22

Don't let their innocent face fool you, Virgos can be deadly when they want to, and they'll even enjoy every second of it.

Their revenge tends to be a lot more similar than Scorpio's, except they often take it even farther.

Virgos will destroy you from the inside out. They'll take pleasure in ruining anything you like, damaging your reputation, separating you from your loved ones, and even stealing your dog.

Like a deadly spider, Virgos will carefully and patiently lay their web, waiting for you to fall into their trap before striking with deadly accuracy.

#Zodiac #Zodiac Signs #Zodiacs #zodiacsign #zodiacsigns #ZodiacFact #zodiac facts #astrology #astrology signs #Aries #Aquarius #Cancer #Capricorn #leo #libra #Gemini #virgo #Pisces #Sagittarius #taurus #scorpio

[kifkay]

Winx Headcanons, part 2!

Riven is a genuine fan of Musa’s music.

Musa is an early riser and annoying about it. Flora is also an early riser but is chill about it. 

Stella can sleep for like twelve hours straight and not give a damn. 

Tecna and Bloom stay up late at night, Tecna more so than Bloom. She will maim whoever wakes her early. 

Aisha loves to take naps whenever she feels like it, and sleeps like a baby. She also kicks at night.

All the Specialists have to be early risers because paramilitary school. Sorry, boys :(

Bloom and Sky sometimes fantasise about owning a menagerie of pets, if they were ever to move in together. 

Riven is genuinely a fan of Musa’s music.

Specialists vis-a-vis combat: out of all the boys, Sky has the best technique. He is also intuitive, able to read his opponent’s body language and easily predict what step they might take next. Timmy’s a short shooter, their main pilot, strategist and handler. He’s a whole unit on an actual mission, but is pretty useless in hand-to-hand combat. Brandon is the strongest, yet the most reckless with himself. He relies on his raw power and stamina to carry him through fights; a DnD Barbarian through-and-through. Riven, like Sky, is an excellent marksman. He has a knack for improvised weaponry and utilising his surroundings.

Helia is on par with Brandon vis-a-vis strength. He is agile; capable of dodging attacks and outsmarting opponents. Usually prefers to detain enemies and knock them out, and rarely engages in actual combat. When he is angry, there’s less technique, and more of self-destructive, horrifying beating.

Nabu is a warlock. He makes duplicates of himself that are capable of fighting but are glass cannons. He can detain and blind enemies, become invisible, make a fog, etc. In hand-to-hand combat, he lacks experience and stamina, but has a couple of tricks up his sleeve.

Sky is surprisingly a very good cook. All of the Specialists are not half bad at cooking, except for Nabu (that nepo baby never cooked a meal for himself in his life). 

The Winx are mostly bad at cooking. Tecna is ok; she follows all recipes to a T and ends with middling results. Musa is the best among the girls and actually enjoys cooking. 

Aisha likes sleeping with the lights on.

Since Aisha and Stella room together, Stella commissioned a Solarian engineer to create quality, magic light spheres that last months. They float near the ceilings and Piff likes to try and catch them. 

One side effect of prolonged psychic intrusion on a mind is the nightmares that follow afterwards. Riven struggles with them after Darcy.

Nabu also struggles with nightmares, due to him being a warlock and having battled/spared with many other psychics. As well as Darcy. He’s more humorous and dismissive of them; he says that he cannot remember his nightmares aside from a vague feeling of emptiness and anxiety. After meeting Aisha and working against Valtor, his nightmares would become way more concrete and terrifying. 

All the Winx adore Miele, and she loves them in turn. Tecna is probably her favorite though; she just finds her “the coolest and the bravest”!

Miele definitely had a crush on Brandon and Helia, although it was short-lived. 

Helia and Saladin have a very close, very complicated relationship. 

In childhood, Helia was entranced by his “Company of Light, Brightest sorcerer of Magix” grandpa Saladin. His father Rames was a pacifist and had a strained relationship with Saladin, but didn’t want to deprive little Helia of his grandfather. When Helia’s father and mother were in the midst of divorce, Helia, under Saladin’s guidance, enrolled in the Red Fountain. Rames raised his voice on Helia for the very first time and they had a big argument, which resulted in them not talking for a few months. 

They made up, but their relationship remained strained until Helia dropped out of school and came home to his father. 

Saladin instilled perfectionism in Helia, always expecting excellency and above. Saladin, being a military man, didn’t believe in “expressing feelings” or “being pacifist”. 

Saladin truly only wanted the best for Helia, but he never understood him or his own son.

Rames absolutely adores Flora. He is the crunchy-muchy granola dad, Henry Oak style, and how could he not love an eco-terrorist icon, the gentle Flora? 

#winx club #winx #winx headcanons #winx bloom #winx brandon #winx sky #winx riven #winx flora #winx stella #winx specialists #winx aisha #winx tecna #winx musa #winx nabu #winx helia #winx rewrite

[roobylavender]

What makes Hal interesting to you? I've seen many people say he's just reckless and cocky although imo that's more of front than anything

i like his earnestness with respect to heroism. it’s simultaneously endearing and pitiful bc he has a genuine desire to help people and does not intentionally act on bad faith, but bc he’s a part of a system and believes in the power it’s gifted him with, he also believes he needs to act by the rules of that system to see through its mission statement. that’s how you get the clash between his sincerity as a hero and desire to make a real difference, versus his confusion as to why he’s been gifted with so much power when he cannot practically use it as he desires (or so he is long led to believe). it paints a very clear picture of how recruitment propaganda for the military works. in the most ideal case (bc obv there are plenty of horrible people eager to abuse power who are recruited) your misguided albeit sincere intentions are manipulated and exploited either until you’re successfully integrated into the system or until you reach your breaking point bc you realize it’s not all it was made out to be. the parallax arc kind of zeroes in on the destruction of coast city as a trigger to the latter realization, but it’s not to say hal’s circumstances haven’t built up to that already by the time it happens. notwithstanding that he’s the model corps member, he’s largely unfulfilled in his personal life due to how much time he spends performing his duties. even worse is the fact that those duties aren’t fulfilling bc he’s not accomplishing anything meaningful by way of them. he’s maintaining order, but order is stagnant. not even his power is truly capable of exacting change bc by protocol he’s not allowed to take a side. that eats away at him a lot: the fact that he gives so many years to an institution that ultimately leaves him with next to nothing, except for doubts that compound day by day. the corps makes a shell of a young man with dreams, and that’s the real tragedy of his character. he hopes to do so much and overwhelmingly values the responsibility he’s tasked with, but the reality is so much harsher than the dream, and it breaks him utterly when he realizes not only is the power incapable of exacting change, it’s also incapable of preventing outright destruction

#hal jordan #outbox #relatedly this is why i think the impact of hal’s death should weigh so much more heavily on wally #i think aside from barry hal is the personification of everything hal looks up to. someone with a sincere desire to help and #(everything wally looks up to. not hal. typo) #uphold their duty to do so. that inability of hal to fulfill that purpose before his lifetime is over is utterly tragic #and for however little it’s displayed i think it explains the anger wally feels when kyle initially fails to understand how impt hal is

[kidcataldo]

While Peter Capaldi is ultimately my favorite doctor, I think any character development for him got lost when trying to boost falling ratings. In good scripts, he shined. In bad ones, he was just there not really developing. So here’s what I would do if I controlled BBC during his reign (an essay):

Firstly, his grumpy old man arc was executed so poorly and could have been so so much better.

Clara was the wrong choice for his companion because she had too much baggage with the 11th doctor. We needed something new, something we hadn’t seen from the doctor yet (or at least for a very long time).

I would have had Clara leave at the start. Like, she sticks with him a few episodes but she doesn’t know how to help him and he’s refusing any attempts at being helped, so finally she’s like “hey I’m out, I can’t do this anymore, sorry”

And suddenly he’s all alone and getting drastically worse. He doesn’t see the point anymore. He doesn’t know why he’s helping these people, who, in his eyes, aren’t worth helping. He’s hitting rock bottom, contemplating quitting because people aren’t worthy of his time anymore. They’re annoying now. They didn’t use to be.

And then suddenly, innocence appears at his doorstep. A child (?). Someone human-like (but doesn’t necessarily have to be human, could be alien) and someone that has unconditional love. More specifically, someone who has unconditional love for the doctor, despite all his faults, despite his grumpiness. And the doctor, in return, does not want this kid’s affection and recoils at the very thought of it (like we sort of see with Clara).

At this point in the doctor’s arc, saving people is just mechanical and he does it only because he’s the doctor and that’s what the doctor should do, not necessarily what he agrees with.

But when he lands on a planet of war, on a planet of destruction, he finds himself drawn to this innocent child. This child, who shows him kindness despite his aloofness, who offers to help him when others pull away. Why? Because, briefly, he sees a glimpse of his past bumbling self. This new character is the light in so much darkness and he for some reason is drawn to it

and maybe he subconsciously wants to go back to being that person again. So uncaring, yet so loving.

(And the reason I say a kid would be a good choice as the 12th doctor’s main companion is because the 11th doctor was just a goofy little kid and it worked. But every doctor can’t be the same doctor each generation. It gets boring, otherwise.)

Okay, so he saves the kid and suddenly they want to stick to him like glue. Each attempt to get rid of them fails miserably. And he becomes this sort of reluctant foster parent to this child, who’s so full of life and innocence. It’s overwhelming.

The kid’s more nuisance than companion at the start. They’re reckless. They get the doctor in more trouble than it’s worth sometimes. But they’re also kind. They help people not because it’s a chore, but because it’s the right thing to do. And they push the doctor to do the same thing.

And slowly, they rub off on each other. The kid, over time, learns to be more serious, to take responsibility for things, to face the devastation head on, while the doctor relearns how to have fun despite the destruction around him.

And they eventually part as equals with the kid deciding to go back to his planet, to help rebuild it (that’s been damaged by war) and the doctor moving on (like he always does), except now helping someone is no longer a chore for him. He does it because it’s the right thing to do and he realizes he wants to be the one doing it. And dammit he wants to have fun doing it.

Anyway, this is a jumble mess and more fanfiction than story board. But I’ve been rewatching doctor who lately, and I just wish my fave doctor had a better arc ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#doctor who #peter capaldi #12th doctor

[rjalker]

(Sarcasm) Yes, a square, I'm soo sure that this is totally true and it's definitely true that the women who are given more rights and respect are just deciding on a whim to murder the men sympathetic to feminist causes.

I'm so sure it's 100% not the machinations of the circles or anything at all like that doing the exact thing we've seen them do before.

Yeah, giving women more freedom and treating them with respect is definitely what's causing people to die, for sure. (/sarcasm)

[Extra paragraph breaks added for accessability]

On the whole we get on pretty smoothly in our domestic relations, except in the lower strata of the Military Classes. There the want of tact and discretion on the part of the husbands produces at times indescribable disasters. Relying too much on the offensive weapons of their acute angles instead of the defensive organs of good sense and seasonable simulation, these reckless creatures too often neglect the prescribed construction of the women's apartments, or irritate their wives by ill-advised expressions out of doors, which they refuse immediately to retract. Moreover a blunt and stolid regard for literal truth indisposes them to make those lavish promises by which the more judicious Circle can in a moment pacify his consort. The result is massacre; not, however, without its advantages, as it eliminates the more brutal and troublesome of the Isosceles; and by many of our Circles the destructiveness of the Thinner Sex is regarded as one among many providential arrangements for suppressing redundant population, and nipping Revolution in the bud.

He's literally admitting that regularly wiping out large sections of the lower classes who treat women with respect is beneficial to the fascist patriarchal society at large.

And he is still not fucking understanding what's actually going on here.

Ah yes, "the more brutal and troublesome of Isosceles", the ones who don't abuse their wives. So brutal. So troublesome. Much wow.

#Rjalker reads Flatland a Romance of Many Dimensions #Flatland

[dyed-red]

phyn! happy wincest wednesday! I am thinking about how Sam and Dean are both not great at sharing their feelings. they're inconsistent and bottle everything up until they blow up at each other. do you have anything to share about FEELINGS and the ways the brothers are similar, and different, in how they handle theirs? not sure where I'm going with this but have at 'er

mmmmmmm feelings. they taste so good when they're all suppressed and thorny. this is all opinion and initial thoughts and a super long post but here we go:

-

Similarities

Compartmentalization is the big one, to me. Although there are some differences in what and how they compartmentalize, both of them are masters at it. Dean is a bit more blunt about this, especially early on, although I'd argue the pendulum sort of swings at a certain point and we've got Sam with more boxes of unacknowledged shit he's placed in carefully organized rows down in the depths somewhere.

they're also both far more likely to use problem-focused coping, sam especially in the early seasons despite how he tries to get others to acknowledge their emotions. from seasons 1-4, at least, possibly including s5, sam's main (only?) coping skill is to Solve The Problem. this often looks like identifying the issue, researching it, finding a solution, committee 200% to that solution no matter how insane it might be, and putting that plan in motion.

(see: driving the impala into a derelict house in the pilot, the entire episode of Faith, the way he throws himself at finding dad and then at the yellow-eyed demon all to the detriment of saving others and his own life until dean pulls him back from whichever ledge it happens to be this week, the way he approaches the special kids stuff, then the entirety of season 3, and especially how this manifests in both mystery spot and the period we see in 'i know what you did last summer' when dean was dead, and it's part of what makes him so susceptible to ruby who promises solutions, and part of how he ends up rationalizing blood drinking and the kill lilith at all costs attitude)

and i put this under similarities because while dean is actually honestly genuinely better at emotion-focused coping than sam is in those early seasons, he is very solution-oriented in how he tries to approach feelings and emotional issues. this is most especially true for the big things as well: he wants to solve sam's grief in season 1 and he wants to do it by throwing him at women, he decides to solve sam's death by selling his own soul, he even attempts to (re)solve dad's orders to kill sam if needed by trying to convince sam that they should maybe give up hunting early in s2 (it's a weak and half-hearted attempt but worth noting).

and then of course there is just straight-up suppression. play through the pain, push it down and let it come out through bouts of alcoholism and violence, Do Not Talk About It even if you acknowledge its impact on you (sam and his grief over jess, both of them over john's death, dean eventually and his time in hell). this is different than compartmentalization in that it's there on the surface in a huge way and it's plain as day and you know it and acknowledge it but there's nothing you can do about it so you just sort of ignore it and refuse to sit with it or talk about it and just... continue existing with this wound bleeding inward or outward.

(see: getting angry and breaking things, being reckless or self-destructive and endangering self and others, etc. this is not a tactic that works. this is bottle up and explode.)

distractions is one i should mention here too, as one of their core (more healthy and adaptive) emotion-focused coping strategy, but i'm tempted to talk about it more under differences because they have really different distraction methods except for one. they both use fresh/new hunts to distract themselves from whatever it is that is causing them stress or pain.

Differences

continuing on the thread of distractions, dean uses media and escapism through narrative in a way sam simply Does Not. dean watches scooby-doo and horror movies and explicitly says he enjoys the escape and knowing that the bad guy is going to lose in the end. he references books and quotes them far more frequently than sam, everything from aesop to vonnegut, and we know that he loves music quite a bit, probably part of how he drowns out reality or escapes from it when he needs to.

in general, i think dean also dissociates more than sam does. this is integral in some of that 'dean as object' stuff. he separates himself from his physical body and steps behind it and away, so that what is happening to his body isn't happening to him, often when a monster or demon is threatening and implying some sexual violence.

conversely i think sam rationalizes and medicalizes a fair amount. he wants to understand and be able to explain (at least to himself) what his emotions are and what he's going through, because / as if the ability to understand and explain it provides a degree of power over it. sam craves control, and rationalizing affords illusory control over his emotions, allowing him to convince himself he has mastery over those feelings even when he's in fact very off the rails and being dragged around by his emotions like a dog on a leash.

this tends to mean that sam is up in his head explaining and re-explaining his own shit to himself until he's got a handle on it, and dean is out of his head escaping.

sam uses distractions as well, as i said with a new hunt, and with reading the lore. the lore thing is two-fold though -- it provides a sense of control over things again, illusory or real, because that knowledge can help in a pinch, even if it's not related to a current case. so he can kind of convince himself he's reading for work or for a present problem or that it will be helpful, even when he's using it as a distraction.

sam also somatizes more, i think, which is when your psychological stresses manifest in your physical body. we're dipping a little into headcanon territory here but i picture him as someone more prone to headaches and stomach aches than dean as a result of stress and anxiety (dean's stomach aches are earned through eating food he shouldn't have).

i connect this partly to sam's clean living/eating/exercising more as time goes on, although that is also about control. much like reading the lore 'just in case' and developing encyclopedic knowledge of things they may encounter no matter how far-fetched, eating well and exercising affords a small advantage against monsters.

exercising as a coping mechanism more general can also be a way to distract oneself and is a good emotion-focused coping mechanism when used to get restless energy out and improve one's mood. i think sam does use exercise adaptively and healthily like this and it's generally good for him, but yeah that it can and does tend toward obsessive control/coping sometimes.

something i think they do in different ways is also their problem- and emotion-focused approach to 'tend and befriend'. we can cope with our own shit sometimes by getting out of our own heads and focusing on others instead -- helping them with their problems or giving them stuff or just generally socially connecting with laughter and fun.

on this, sam likes to find a person experiencing a problem, get them to open up, provide empathy or offer words of support, and in so doing, stop focusing or worrying so much about his own shit. he does this with dean but also with victims on cases and gets more out of hearing about their issues and offering them advice/support than dean does. dean will engage in the practice too, but it doesn't emotionally feed him the way it does with sam, who processes his own emotions through empathizes with others, and dean does it out of necessity more than anything.

in contrast, dean likes to solve another person's problems for them (see: trying to throw sam at women) or distract himself by hearing about what is going on with others (see: asking cas to distract him when crowley and gadreel are co-possessing sam). solving their shit allows him to stop worrying about it or allows him space to process his stuff, potentially by hearing about theirs and having his own churn themselves along alongside the other person's, or in the meantime.

relatedly, dean also tends to mother hen others, and in so doing he uses caretaking as a means of coping with his own shit. this is part of dean's illusory control methods, because it affords him the sense that he's doing a job and if he does it right then things will be okay. he engages in caretaking by identifying and meeting the needs of others, and this is distinct from him trying to solve their problems only in how it tends to be more emotional, whether that's being 4 or 5 years old telling his mom things will be okay, as an adult pointing out bobby's drinking and later giving him whatever speeches he needs after he's become paralyzed from the waist down, and manifests in so many ways with john and with sam it's not worth counting.

-

tl;dr

while both brothers use compartmentalization, suppression, helping others, and distractions at a broad level, at a more specific level, both sam and dean have very different emotion-focused coping mechanisms, and different ways their problem-focused coping manifests.

sam hits his head against a problem until it cracks open, and does so rigidly and to his own (and the planet's) detriment until he is forced to learn some more emotion-focused coping mechanisms after the cage. he is always seeking a sense of control so he reads lore, eats well, pushes his body, and rationalizes/medicalizes until he can gain a sense of control. some of this is adaptive. eventually he learns to sit with his emotions enough to process them as they arise and threaten to overwhelm or overtake him, which allows him to compartmentalize them more effectively as needed.

dean copes with a similar sense of helplessness by distracting himself from the issue through hunting and the job, and sometimes through narrative transportation and by taking care of others, all of which can be adaptive for the smaller issues or one-off hurts, but causes him a lot more pain with the big stuff like his betrayal over sam going to stanford or his emotions about his father (john's death and his treatment of dean and their messed up dynamic all included) or what hell wrought on him. when bigger hurts stack up, much like sam, he is eventually forced to learn more adaptive or flexible ways to navigate overwhelming feelings, which i tend to think involves sitting with them and acknowledging them and allowing himself to think about them, something i don't think he did when he was younger except when he lost control over his compartmentalizing, but that allows him to go over them and then set them aside better, when ready.

for both of them, when circumstances demand or emotions overwhelm, they will open up and talk out or acknowledge the emotion. this tends to manifest in distressed sadness from dean and in distressed anger from sam, when they're at their wits' end, with dean expressing shame but seldom guilt, and sam expressing guilt but seldom shame. exceptions include how dean expresses guilt over ways he's hurt sam or others and how sam expresses shame over actions taken related to victimized aspects of himself. at the end of the day though, they both get better and more adaptive and healthy as time goes on at sitting with their feelings instead of trying to control or ignore them.

#characterization #long post #long post for ts #sam #dean #emotions #my meta #wincest wednesday #but no wincest to speak of sorry #also this is of course opinion #and if i thought about it a bit deeper i might come to different conclusions on some of these #so if you anyone feels differently and wants to point out or share why please feel free to rebagel and discuss! #right on queue

[inamindfarfaraway]

Dark Oracle AU

Okay, I need to expand on this concept. I present my personal idea of a timeline from the canon state of affairs (or, well, my interpretation of them because comics are so inconsistent and full of crap, basically pre-New 52 with Duke) to Big Sister dictatorship!

The Batfamily is battling a really serious threat, like Ra’s al Ghul or the Court of Owls or a supervillain alliance or something. It’s a big deal. Very high stakes. The only reason they’re even attempting a mission this risky is because, thanks in large part to their resident information-finding specialist Barbara, they have a great deal of knowledge in advance and are sure they’ve planned for every possible outcome, as Bats tend to do. Except the villain has a secret advantage, another trick up their sleeve. There’s no way Babs could have found out about this, but of course she doesn’t believe that and blames herself, as Bats tend to do. The heroes aren’t prepared and in the chaos none of the contingency plans they’re able to execute work. By the time they defeat the threat… Black Bat and Batgirl are dead. Steph is killed first, heroically sacrificing herself, and Cass, the nearest to her, is caught off-guard in her shock.

I’m sorry! I am! But I truly think that Babs could not properly turn evil if she had Team Batgirl to remind her of her definition of heroism, of her own lingering inner Batgirl. She needs to just be Oracle. Cass is buried in the Wayne Manor cemetery; Steph in a public one the closest to the same distance from the Manor and Crystal’s house. They both get memorials in the Batcave.

Babs shuts down in depressed and self-hatred. She watched her daughter figures, her protégés, her Batgirls die because of (in her mind) her inadequacy. She feels like she’ll similarly fail at anything she tries to do now. She quits being Oracle and withdraws from the Batfam and her father. Remember, she has an eidetic memory, and watched and heard Steph and Cass’s deaths via the family’s mask cameras. They’re all she can see when she closes her eyes. Those screams are always ringing in her ears.

Meanwhile, Bruce takes this about as well as he took losing a child/young vigilante he inspired and mentored the last two times, but doubled. Although he and Alfred have enough experience that he doesn’t get quite as bad as fast as when Jason died, he’s still significantly more antisocial, aggressive, reckless and self-destructive and isolates himself more over the first months afterward. Jim notices the disappearance of Black Bat and Batgirl and the sadly familiar changes in Batman’s behaviour and puts the pieces together. He offers Batman what comfort he can, but is simultaneously worrying about Babs on top of his job. Crime rates go up whenever the Batfam’s numbers decrease.

The remaining Batkids are distraught. Other than Jason, they grow closer in their shared grief. Jason is off on his own turning his pain into violence even more savagely than normal. He recognizes that he’s falling back on his terrible coping mechanisms and doesn’t want to hurt his family this time, so he just doesn’t interact with them. Tim is hit especially hard due to being the closest to Cass and Steph - not to mention that he in particular so fucking sick and tired of his loved ones dying across his teenage years. He’s very unstable. Steph was one of the key people who taught Damian how to have fun and be a kid, and how important it was, so without her he’s more liable to forget that and backslide into acting cold, aloof, violently temperamental, etc.. Duke is made acutely aware of how short life is and that anyone he cares about could die at any time, so he actually strengthens his friendships with the We Are Robin kids. They can break down and be vulnerable with each other in private, but mostly push themselves harder because they each feel that it’s their duty to both keep Gotham safe and prevent Bruce and their siblings going off the rails. Dick is probably the least emotionally vulnerable because he has the most practice bottling up intense grief effectively and, with Bruce’s psychological decline and constant busyness, steps up more as the Responsible Adult alongside Alfred.

Bruce forbids Tim, Duke and Damian to go into the field and Dick agrees, because can they stop losing family for five minutes? A number of restrictions are implemented to uphold this. It’s Tim, Duke and Damian, though, of course they get out anyway. Helping people directly is one of the only sources of serotonin they have.

This is when things really start to go to hell: Bruce is killed. Because of his recklessness and accelerated by his poor health due to neglecting self-care. Because he charged into a dangerous fight alone, Alfred in the chair occupied with the Batkids. Because, Babs can’t convince herself otherwise, he didn’t have Oracle watching his back. The Batkids really could not stop losing family for five minutes. He’s buried right next to his daughter, the death dates just three months apart. Memorial in the cave, natch. But they don’t pretend he isn’t dead this time, so the whole city must mourn its Dark Knight. There are huge memorial services, statues made of him. Jim cries a lot. He already lost Harvey, now Bats?

Oh yeah, and - released a little later to throw people off and let them form a convincing cover story - Bruce Wayne is dead too. A massive blow to Gotham’s morale and even greater surges in crime follow. Their inspirational ray of sunshine and hope and belief in humanity is suddenly gone forever, and so soon after their original and most accomplished superhero. Who are they going to believe in now? Well… at least they still have the rest of the vigilantes.

Babs returns to work. Throws herself into it the way other people throw themselves off bridges. She stays on more formal terms with the Batfam at first, but does reconnect with them over time. She moves Cass and Steph’s memorials to the Clocktower “for motivation”, and this is evidently effective, seeing how she goes into overdrive and is soon leading and coordinating everyone alongside Dick. Gotham is floundering without Bruce and Batman and she refuses to let it fall into anarchy. She’ll be its Oracle, guiding it to a brighter future. She’ll never not know or foresee something ever again. She can’t. Jim is getting extremely worried.

If she’s doing badly, Bruce’s own children’s mental states can be summarised as deep shit. Everyone embraces the family’s classic coping mechanisms, workaholism and emotional repression, harder to try to cope with the chaos. Tim takes over more Wayne Enterprises responsibilities. You know, ‘cause he doesn’t have enough on his plate. Unlike last time, Bruce is definitely permanently dead and he doesn’t take that well. Alfred… is going through it. Sorry, Alfred. A small comfort is that Jason is inspired to treasure his remaining family and he and his siblings and grandad work on repairing their relationships.

Things don’t go Gotham meets Oceania overnight. Babs eroding her code of ethics to the point of evil dictatorship is a slow process, the kind you may not even register until it’s happened. One year after Bruce’s death she’s composed enough to run for mayor, still cripplingly afraid and resentful of Oracle’s limitations. She needs political control over Gotham to make it a better place in the long run. Who are the people going to believe in now? Barbara Gordon! Her loved ones are proud and supportive of her, having been reconnecting with her lately, if concerned that she isn’t processing her grief that much even compared to the rest of them. Her policies are focused on security and reforms to the police force and legal system that aim to reduce crime and corruption, which in the context of the soaring crime rates and spiralling despair of the Gotham public all seem wonderful to many. Surely, things at least can’t possibly get worse than they have been. She wins in a landslide.

The mayor’s power plus Oracle’s power soon goes to Babs’s head. Over the next year she slips from hero to antihero to a darker shade of grey. Her level of surveillance gradually moves out of the reasonable zone. Her patience for disagreement wears thin. When the Batfam or law enforcement take down a crime organization, she will siphon off their assets and information to consolidate her power rather than redistribute all of it to the people. For the greater good, obviously!

This culminates two years after Bruce’s death when Oracle defeats the Court of Owls with a cunning scheme (if they’re the ones who killed the Batgirls, this part hits extra hard): she fakes an alliance with them to set up a double cross, her ‘downpayment’ of information to gain their trust being false and luring their high command into a massive vigilante and police ambush. But Babs doesn’t dismantle the Court like the Bats expect her to. She takes control of it and integrates its vast, rich archives and information network into her own, now essentially omniscient regarding Gotham’s criminal underworld. She also uses the Court’s under-the-table connections to manipulate political and legal proceedings. It’s great for eliminating all corruption besides her own.

This move triggers the ideological conflict that’s been brewing amongst the Batfam to spill over into a devastating fight. Babs and Dick are at the forefront. Babs is accused of tyranny and selfish ambition, Dick and his allies of holding onto a naive, obsolete ideal of protection, both sides feeling betrayed and that the other is “becoming what they fought against”. It’s very emotionally charged. Very painful and bitter for everyone involved.

In the end Alfred, Dick, Jason, Duke and Damian leave in regret and disgust. To explain why them: Alfred is never turning evil. We all know that. The fabric of the universe would unravel if he did. Dick is likewise functionally incorruptible because he’s Dick Grayson, he’s the light of the DC universe. He is utterly heartbroken though. Him and Babs being enemies is the maximum angst option, I couldn’t not take it. Jason has already been through a ‘using villainous methods to protect Gotham how Batman won’t because a) I genuinely believe the ends justify the means and b) my mental health is a train wreck’ phase and basically come out the other side. He isn’t gonna do that again, but as a subordinate. Him and Duke’s backstories make them both more down-to-earth and grounded in the reality of the average and lower-class Gotham citizens’ everyday lives than anyone else in the Batfam, so they can see most clearly how Babs’s actions are harming their people. And Damian is closer to Dick and Duke than Babs, but also similarly to Jason did the edgy ‘morals hold you back, absolute punishment and terror will fight crime more efficiently’ thing and outgrew it. He learned to value human life and rights and swore his loyalty to the mentors who taught him this and their code. He learned how to reject the toxic bullshit the League of Assassins had been feeding him his entire life; it would insult his character growth in my opinion to have him accept Barbara’s toxic bullshit.

That leaves Tim to be Babs’s primary enforcer. Sorry, Tim. Someone had to do it. Between his severe psychological vulnerability and lack of his brothers’ personal experiences with immorality and insights into the average Gothamite’s life, I think it should be him. He’s also the CEO of Wayne Enterprises and involved in the Wayne Foundation and that pairs nicely with Babs’s data collection. Any Wayne Technologies device can covertly monitor people. To sever himself from the bat and bird motifs of the lost and unenlightened and show his allegiance to Oracle, he creates a new vigilante identity called Python. This is a reference to the Greek myth of a giant serpent called Python (from the original name of Delphi, Pytho, and the namesake of the snake classification) who resided in and guarded the site of Delphi, before Apollo killed it and installed his own prophetess Pythia in his place. He’s got a green scaly jumpsuit with armour plating. Two curved swords imitating fangs. Scale throwing blades. A penchant for nonlethal gas and aerosol tools like knockout gas, tear gas and smokescreens, in allusion to the natural hallucinogenic fumes at Delphi that led to its holy reputation. It’s cool. Sinister, but cool. Snakes don’t have eyelids, matching the relentless surveillance theme. Fun fact: pythons eat bats and small birds.

Shock of the century, Babara “Heaps of Recent, Untreated PTSD From Losing Loved Ones and Compulsive Need to Always be Aware and On Top of Everything” Gordon doesn’t take being ditched by all but one of her found family in stride. She has a total breakdown, blames herself for not being able to make them see things her way and lashes out by cracking down even harder on the populace. She’s accordingly immensely grateful for Tim staying and very protective of him. Were he to leave her too, it could be enough to shatter her.

The five rebels join the Birds of Prey, who leave Barbara after hearing how she turned on them, the Gotham City Sirens, Holly Robinson, Slam Bradley, Duke’s We Are Robin friends and a number of other malcontents, including Crystal Brown, to form a resistance. This alliance is called the Shadow Guard - ‘shadow’ because they literally are largely nocturnal, but furthermore it’s a contrast and opposition to Oracle’s prying and shining a light onto things; a declaration both that they are her blind spot and that privacy, the unseen, the ability to keep people ‘in the dark’ deserves to be protected. They’re guardians in the real shadows and of the figurative ones. There’s the angle that they’re only shadows of the Batfamily at its peak and the people they were then too. The rebellion uses pre-internet technology to be safe, with the occasional exception of scavenged tech cut off from Babs’s network.

Mayor Gordon declares Nightwing, Red Hood, Robin and the Signal to be dangerous, untrustworthy public enemies, even suggesting that they’re responsible for the mysterious disappearances of Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne and Duke Thomas. This forces Jim, who’s been putting off realizing that his beloved daughter and the only family he has left is having a moral degradation arc in favour of softer appeals to her compassion, to confront that Babs is now pretty damn totalitarian and he cannot stand by any longer. He joins the Shadow Guard as a spy, and supplies resources, equipment and other employees with consciences to their ranks. His hope is that once her power is removed, Babs will have to face the consequences of her actions and come to her senses. The three year mark is when her directing of the police cycles around to be so militarized and oppressive that her initial real ethical reforms are trampled, vindicating Jim’s decision.

Why don’t external superheroes and the government officials intervene? Because Babs is still their information broker. She provides them with vital intel and has truckloads of dirt on all of them. She isn’t above passive-aggressively reminding people of her ability to ruin them to get them off her back, even demonstrating it by leaking sensitive information, causing a scandal, giving an advantage to a rival, etc. every now and then. The rest of the US is watching the events in Gotham thinking, as people so often do, “Someone should do something! …But it’s not gonna be me!” (For the sake of the plot just quietly ignore the Superfam and Wonderfam and Flashfam and so on, okay?). Besides, Gotham’s crime rates are the lowest they’ve ever been. Oracle is untouchable and none of the illicit activity can be traced back to Babs, or even proven at all most of the time.

Keep in mind, Babs still doesn’t technically directly kill anyone. Tim doesn’t either. He just arrests criminals and disturbers of the peace and hands them over to the justice system. Business as usual. When they and all records of them disappear overnight, and when nobody ever gets out of Blackgate or Arkham… well, questioning that isn’t in his job description, and Babs and his job are all he has left. He’s come too far to give them up.

Four years into Babs’s mayorship, Gotham’s settled into its continually worsening dystopian status quo under a utopian facade. The roll down the slope accelerates when Jim’s spying is discovered. Babs is horrified, furious and deeply hurt. She almost, almost backs down, but falls victim to the sunk cost fallacy and desperately reaffirms her self-righteousness. He has frustratingly durable moral integrity, so she orders him arrested to get him out of sight and out of mind because again, she cannot handle another loss. The rebel Batboys break him out, they fight Python and the police, it’s sad and dramatic. The rebels get away by the skin of their teeth, but they’re followed. A raid on their base deals harsh blows and gets a sizeable proportion of them arrested, killed or traumatized into submission. They regroup and try to find a way to take Oracle by surprise. Jim is now the Shadow Guard’s co-leader with Dick.

Gotham is peaceful. It’s orderly. Supervillains are a thing of the past. Barbara is like the oracles of legend: whatever she says will be, will be. Needless to say, she won’t have much competition in the upcoming mayoral election. From there, she plans to expand beyond Gotham. The only problem that remains is how to stop her treacherous family and lay the past to rest once and for all…

That’s the catch with oracle stories, isn’t it? In the end, you find you’ve become exactly what you most strived to avoid being. Think of King Oedipus, the archetypal Greek tragedy and ironic prophecy story: a just, wise and noble leader stubbornly seeking knowledge to protect their people from ruin in a time of great suffering, only for they themselves to be the criminal they were looking for and the cause of their city’s corruption.

I’m ending it here with a five year time difference and pretty much in the heroes’ darkest hour, because this is where I would have (my) canon Babs, Steph and Cass transported to this world to help bring dark Oracle down.

#babs: i’ve made a gotham where none of the entire batfamily’s tragic pasts could ever happen #dick: what about the kids whose parents don’t agree with everything you say? #babs: #dark oracle has the anime menacing reflective glasses effect a lot because a) scary and b) she is just emotional repression central #i just want to see black bat and batgirl fight and ethically debate a dictator version of their mentor #in the process deactivating and cracking the wall of giant surveillance screens in the clocktower #so that barbara is forced to finally confront her reflection fractured in darkness #is that too much to ask? #dark oracle au #barbara gordon #babs gordon #oracle #batfamily #batfam #stephanie brown #batgirl #cassandra cain #black bat #team batgirl #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #duke thomas #the signal #alfred pennyworth

[madama-butterfree]

Debunking the myth that Tinkaton and Corviknight can get along because this is something I’ve had to fight other trainers on.

I WILL SAY IT ONCE. I WILL SAY IT AGAIN.

A TINKATON AND A CORVIKNIGHT CANNOT COEXIST SAFELY ON A TEAM.

A TINKATON AND A CORVIKNIGHT CANNOT BE RAISED TOGETHER.

YOUR TINKATON AND CORVIKNIGHT ARE NOT FRIENDS!!!!

Look. I am completely aware that trainers alike may disagree with me and say that any Pokemon can get along. Yes, this is true and unlikely pairs can still find solace in each other’s company. BUT THIS IS NOT TRUE FOR TINKATON AND CORVIKNIGHT. IT WILL NEVER BE.

Tinkaton are apex predators. They are on the very top of the food chain. Corviknight happen to be their main and most reliable source of material for their impressive weaponry— but also their main source of amusement! It is true that Tinkaton in fact DO sometimes hunt for sport! They will gather resources when they need to! But their hunting in turn also assists others of their line who might come across the body. This also helps other Pokemon who might find the metal a quick and easy meal, and their bodies aren’t made entirely of steel, so parts that can decompose further help fungi based Pokémon find the best nutrients and helps the ecosystem flourish. So while it’s technically still for sport, there is also a good cause that can come from there to assist other’s of its line and other Pokémon in general! It’s all just the circle of life.

But generally speaking, it’s completely true that regardless of this, Tinkaton actively hunt Corviknight for its own amusement as well! These things are VICIOUS and it takes someone incredibly fit for the job to raise them accordingly— this is usually best saved for steel or fairy type experts, but any trainer who can wrangle it safely is usually considered fit *enough. (*A Tinkaton should never just go into the hands of someone with zero experience with Pokemon known to be defiant or dare I say reckless.)

Back at the point at hand, here’s the thing: Look, I know the thought of raising the two together and them “being friends” is super cute in theory. You might think you can start early and get them used to each other from their primary evolutions in Tinkatink and Rookidee. Cute, right?

NO.

DO. NOT. DO. THIS.

THIS IS 100% NOT SAFE IN THE SLIGHTEST.

Regardless of what you think, Tinkatink might be small and look scared all the time, but is STILL capable of destructive habits. And it is in their genetic makeup as they evolve to become more depended on themselves. Their predatory instincts will eventually kick in regardless. (Reminding you once again that this is a line of apex predators) Raising the two together is a death sentence for the eventual Corviknight. Corviknight are exceptional at taking commands and sticking to them and have great memory. But this can lead to it’s downfall because if raised alongside it’s predator in hopes the two can bond, this in turn teaches the Corviknight to openly trust other Tinkaton without question— which also in turn gives “unfamiliar” Tinkaton an easier target and can ultimately lead to your Corviknight’s demise.

Also, this is also considered dangerous for the Tinkaton itself! Usually picky about the types of metals used in tinkering it’s hammer, Corviknight happen to have the perfect complexity that keep their hammer together at all times which is why they love them so much. Tinkaton are also exceptionally intelligent Pokemon. Teaching a Tinkaton not to hurt your Corviknight from it’s prime can (but it’s not guaranteed it will) teach it that it should not hunt any Corviknight, therefore putting itself at risk of danger for not having the proper resources for it’s mallet AND resorting to hunting OTHER steel types it usually wouldn’t. It’s a lose-lose situation. The Tinkaton cannot properly defend itself in a battle, and now other steel types— including trainer owned steel type Pokémon— are at ultimate risk because you wanted to challenge a “stigma” that is completely fact checked and true.

Even if your Tinkaton and Corviknight seem not to have any trouble with each other, they are not friends. They have been raised to “get along with” or “tolerate” each other. Even then, they are naturally built in with the fight or flight responses for each other. Your Tinkaton is likely still thinking “kill” in the back of her head, and your Corvinknight is likely thinking “flee”.

ASIDE FROM ANY OF THIS, CORVIKNIGHT ARE STILL THE PREY AT DEFAULT. Your Tinkaton could choose to snap at ANY GIVEN MOMENT. And Tinkaton do not just faint Corviknight! THEY KILL THEM. They are not “rival Pokemon” that get into constant scuffles. They are predator and prey. Corviknight are AFRAID of Tinkaton. This does not make them rivals because they just aren’t rival Pokémon like Zangoose and Seviper that fight each other! TINKATON FIGHTS CORVIKNIGHT. CORVIKNIGHT FLEES. ITS ONE SIDED (BUT PART OF THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.).

(Tip: To consider Pokemon “rival Pokemon”, there has to be a shared about of action between both. Both have to have the will to fight the other should They need to. If it’s one sided, they are not rival Pokemon.)

If you own a Tinkaton and Corviknight together in your team, you SERIOUSLY need to rethink things because this is not safe for anyone and could even face legal charges!

(Fun Fact! It is considered an act of terrorism to keep a Tinkaton on your team should you visit Galar! Because of the flying taxi service in Galar running solely on Corviknight, having a Tinkaton travel with you is like opening it up to an all-you-can-eat buffet, and can actively put civilians in immediate jeopardy. Tinkaton is one of the select few illegal/banned Pokemon to bring into certain areas/regions. This is why if you’ve ever traveled to Galar from Paldea, you are required by law to go through a team check, regardless if you have a Tinkaton or not. Should you have one, you are immediately sent to a pc and required to deposit the Tinkaton into your box. You are heavily supervised while doing this. You will not be able to get away with anything. You can have your Tinkaton confiscated or even removed entirely from your ownership should you ever try to retaliate on this law.)

Now, you are completely allowed to raise a Tinkaton and Corviknight separately! But they should always stay separated! It’s best if you enforce that the two don’t even know of the other’s existence! Should you have one on your team, you should NEVER have the other.

(Side Note: I am completely aware that the elite four member Poppy of the Paldean league owns both Tinkaton and Corviknight together respectably. It’s a really difficult thing to fight because this is something people use to argue with the idea. They love to throw this around. The league is a form of government. This isn’t a law Geeta could have enforced herself because the Champion doesn’t actually enforce every law, especially if Poppy is getting away with this. Poppy is still very young and likely unaware despite the laws being set in stone. She might be aware but keeps ignorant, cause like I said, she’s a very young trainer. Plus, her being very young makes holding her accountable to a law very difficult since she’s not even old enough to face corporal punishment. I’d like to say that first of all: don’t trust a five year old to advocate for a lie when they haven’t even stepped foot in a fifth grade classroom. I believe Geeta picks favorites and gives them benefits, but she didn’t hear anything from me.

Take my word for it; just because someone of high, respectable rank does something, it doesn’t make it right.)

Please take my word for this. This is a PSA from your’s truly. ~🦋

#🦋Bellzi Knows Best🦋 #‼️Pokemon PSA‼️ #❕Pokemon Facts❕ #Tinkaton #Corviknight #Pokemon #Real Pokémon RP

[black-dhalias]

can you please do a I Will Never Die part three? I’m begging please lol 🙏

I Will Never Die III

Carlisle Cullen X Reader

After then, he never asked again, because how was he supposed to react? Carlisle really couldn’t be mad at you because everyone has a reason for not being able to continue. To make choices. Despite centuries, the weight of your human life weighs on your very core. Carlisle glances at you over his book, you leaning on the couch—looking up at the screen. Some random conspiracy documentary playing—every once and while, you’d make an audible correction. Because you lived most of history, empires and civilization—lifetimes of experiences. Carlisle admires that, and it brings him joy.

Immense joy.

All things end though, no more documentaries… No more rest… When Bella came back with news of pregnancy, you threw yourself into research. You didn’t think it was an immortal child, you’ve seen the destruction of them first hand—this feels very different. But the worry is still there.

Only now, do you wish you still had access to the extensive collection of Volturi resources. Books, scrolls—some dating back to the time of your birth. Some first editions from the Library of Alexandria. Many you chronicalized yourself. But as Bella depletes, as hope drains and as Carlisle could barely drag you from the computer. You began to distrust your first instinct that this is not an immortal child, because she is drifting away.

That’s the thing about immortality, the cruel reality of being untouched by time—you see the odds, understand the perspective of existence in ways others do not. Right now, Bella is losing time—her string used to extend far into the future, but now it is within arms reach. Just past your fingertips.

Carlisle places a hand on your shoulder and then the other, “Love?” You don’t even look up, a document pulled up talking about a legend of succubus.

“What if its an immortal child?”

“We have to hope otherwise.” He leans down to kiss the top of your head, but it does nothing to silence the thought. The one that has not left your mind—the one you hide from Edward every time you look at Bella.

“Its killing her slowly…” There’s only one thing to do, her body frail and belly bruised blue. Something you never thought was not possible.

“I know.” You’ll kill it yourself, you could take the Cullens— and you don’t want to, but you see yourself as a protector. Someone who has been around from the beginning. You won’t risk your family, or your friends for such a risk.

You like Bella, you used to find her brave, but now you find her idiotic and selfish. Making a choice based purely on what she believes is best, and you understand, but can she blame you for making the same choice? To some extent, bravery is stupidity—just praised recklessness.

“Do you- Come with me?” You want to leave, but if you leave this spot, you will do it. Or you will run away, find an answer somewhere else. You just can’t trust yourself not to eliminate the problem completely.

You had thought about saying yes to his request, wondering if that would heal the pain—change the fates design. Actually, you take that back. You don’t believe in fate, just choices that tie and break, long lines of decisions.

“I can’t.” You can’t bring yourself to think about anything else, except researching. Also it would be selfish to divert Carlisle’s attention, you look up at him—he needs to perfect, on top of his game. You would only prove a distraction… You sigh looking down,that’s not something you want to think, but even if you don’t want it. It is very true.

You can’t leave, and you can’t stay close—knowing that you wouldn’t hesitate, because you agree with the wolves. This is the safest distance… It has to be.

GIF by reignonmary

When dancing with Carlisle that night, something in you had reimagined your entire lifetime of lifetimes. All around him. Completely and utterly invested in a world where you can be close to him. Near him. Yet you were devastated when you realized, a dance was all you would ever share beyond quiet rendezvous. The only moment where you publicly seemed happier than you were.

No one could know you had a heart beneath the stone walls you had developed. No one could know that the famed elder vampire could love another.

Those dances became your solace in a room of strangers, the way his hand landed on your waist and he did not fear you. The way his eyes did not move from your gaze and only when you broke the eye contact, did he spin you in circles. He made every part of you spin in circles. Is that love? Or the possibility of love?

It had to be, because you had never felt anything as potent as you did when he brought you in close. You couldn't even make out what he was saying as your dress wrapped around his legs, the dance coming to a sudden end. But he was still close. So close you could feel an unneeded breath brush against your cheek. So close that his lips are inches from your own.

Then there was another dance, and another to follow--and still no one said a word. No one came to whisk you away for a moment, because he did not let them. He was cool and collected, confident as he smiled down at you. In a way that left you speechless.

How could someone so young? So full of life and possibility, take someone like you and spin you like this? He knew what to say and do, and made every piece of your puzzle fall into place.

Every party began and ended with you two dancing, just the music and the movement of your bodies. Completely in sync, as you recall the gentle kiss you had pressed to his lips. You had waited eons for someone to make you feel anything other than bitterness, to wipe away the petty vendetta you had listed off.

Any other day, another year--a decade or century ago, you knew of no one who could quell your rage. You smile up at him, the warmth of the smile he returns. It says all that words cannot.

“Y/N will have to stay here…” You nod, the plan is good—Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper will hunt so that Carlisle is at his strongest.

“What about-?” Carlisle looks over at you with a smile, cutting off Edward mid sentence.

“Y/N knows more than me. She’s probably more equipped than I ever will be.” He has so much faith in you, but this is an issue of control. You do know more than he does, but the transfer from human to animal has set you back a century. You think you’re ready, but what if you’re not? What if you slip? The question is, can you walk away when Bella begins to bleed? You really do not have an answer to that question.

You don’t believe in pointless death, in turning people if they have a choice, but it has to happen sometimes. It has to happen now because Bella chose to intertwine her life with immortals. You don’t share more than a hug with Carlisle, you have to do this for him. Be strong for him.

“Its our best shot.” It has to be.

You lean into the hope that Carlisle is okay… You know he got past the wolves, but that is not the only enemy. Not the only threat that you guys are facing at this point. Some out to get you for things you did yourself, and some for things you let the Volturi get away with. Its easy to blame you, and you were okay with that until Carlisle came into the picture. Until word spread that you had a mate. That’s why most of the Old Ones went into hiding, or died—and you are that middle ground.

None of you have an explanation, but still you are blamed for things far out of your control. Why? You don’t know, but its not just a vampire thing. People others assume have power, are held responsible for things that are completely out of their control.

You sit on the furthest couch, trying your best to not stare at Bella, but sometimes you catch yourself glancing over with worry. At one point, she notices and forces herself to smile, which sends a pang of grief through you. She hasn’t even died yet, but you’re already mourning her loss and hate the fact that she’s letting it happen. The fact that you are letting this happen when you could just rip the thing out and change her—save her and everyone a whole lot of worry.

"Renesmee..." Just a name, and then you are engulfed by the smell of blood hitting the floor. Not a second passes, but in that second, it is completely quiet and still. Your stomach twists at the sickening snap, and that's when everything began to move faster than you had anticipated.

Hh

You were unprepared, watching the scalpel with a terrifying and utmost sensitivity—completely enraptured by the red glare set off by the medical lights. If you needed breath, it would be in this moment it is knocked out of you. Sucked out of your lungs.

“I can’t—.” Imagine being an addict, having spent centuries using one drug over and over. So normalized you did it with casual reverence. And then, imagine dropping it one day and saying enough is enough. It seems impossible. Unreal.hh That is the reality you are stuck in, the one where a small incision is enough to send you over the edge. You back away until your back is against the bookcase, fingers tightly grasping the shelves.

A sweet and bitter heat beats down from above, Egypt is both familiar and unfamiliar—a world like many others, but different nonetheless. You could only ever know this world as just another civilization that would inevitably fall, and like the tide does the sand—wash everything away.

A wispy wind pushes thick woven fabric wraps lightly around your hair and head, shielding your face away from the oncoming sun. Adorned head to toe in soft linen, the only, barely visible color being your ruby irises through the veil like curtain. The linen is thin, shaded darkly, but even then the red is noticeable and shining if one dares to look close. You walk with a purpose and give him a smile, recognizing Amun as you pass him in the market.

Amun urged you to worry about the raids, to stay inside as he pushes you along. You were a friend to him, helped him when you could and often complimented his families craftsmanship.

Only the night comes quick and your layers lessen, and as you pass through the market much faster than before. The scent of death hangs heavy on the air, in the distance you still hear the echo of swords. Of shouting. Of raids.

You also could hear the sound of a sputtering heart, coming from the market stall home to Amun and his family. Your head tilts to the side, too much blood for one person, but as you move closer. There is Amun, you do not count the wounds, as the spear sticking out of his chest tells the story well. Some jewels and gold scattered across, wood beams broken and crashed into the ground. Chest heaving—blood.

You kneel down at his side: “Do you want to live?” He stutters, eyes widening as you remove the head wrap completely—revealing glittering red eyes, the candlelight casting a harsh shadow down your cheeks.

“I can take away all the pain… Give you another chance—true immortality.” You’ve never considered turning someone before, many of those changed by the Original do, but you never could bring yourself to. “You’re running out of time, Amun.” His hand presses on the wound harder, wrapping around the spear. He is afraid, you can see that.

“I don’t want to die.” You never wanted to do this, but you kneel close and bend over him, the scent thick on the air. To take someone’s humanity, to give them forever—you still aren’t sure if the trade is worthwhile.

And you fear for the day you learn.

“This is going to hurt.” You pull out the spear, with one hand—he gasps, crying out as you press your lips to his neck. You try to imagine all the good Amun will do. “I’m sorry.” You whisper just before biting down.

“Then tell me what to do.” You look up, eyes wide and he nods—it was trust, in this moment you knew he believed you could do this. To them it was simple, to resist, but you knew no resistance before Carlisle. None. So much so that you felt the immediate shift of your intentions during the first moment, but now—resistance seems impossible. It shouldn’t be, and isn’t, but it certainly feels like it is.

“The scalpel won’t cut through, you’ll have to use your teeth.” It makes sense, at least you think, if ultrasounds couldn’t get through then it’s probably similar to a vampires skin. Like granite. Vampire teeth tears through vampire, seems logical that would be the best option.

You bite down on the inside of your cheek as the smell of her blood grows stronger, every drop that hits the floor—the smell hangs on the air. Gods you hate yourself for feeling like this, for struggling like you are some newbie.

One layer. You grimace. Two. He’s reaching inside, your stomach twists and then there’s a cry—it echoes off the shelf you lean on and the walls. It is almost entirely silencing, and in that silence—Bella’s heart stops.

A pointless sacrifice. One that sends a shockwave through you, because despite it all—she still died.

If you needed air, you are certain this would be the moment it would become impossible to breathe.

You cannot cry, incapable of tears, but stand protectively in front of the house. Everything hurts, and no one is there.

That night with Amun was the moment you learned what it means to resist, to have something worth loving. It took everything in you to not drain him dry. Bella is dead. “I’m not going to let them hurt my family.” Edward. You wonder what’s happening in his mind, Amun had told you of the other side. A world where he had something worth protecting. Something that he loved. The night you turned him, the reason you did it—was to end your loneliness and it did for a while. You were friends and even lovers briefly, but friends were all eternity had in store. He always said you would know the day you met them.

And you waited a thousand years for them to break through the forever—immortality had become tedious and difficult.

“Neither am I.” One of the wolves pounces first, and you kick them in the jaw—sending them flying into a tree. You barely have time to think. One comes from the left, another on your right—they learned from the fight not to take you one on one. Then you’re pinned with teeth snapping, hands braces on their jaw.

Death whispers your name for the first time in centuries, and you shut your eyes—is this the other side?

“Don’t you dare!” Edward shouts, tend feet between you and him. He wouldn’t make it even if he tried, you brace yourself. Exhale. The whisper is a shout, and the weight is gone. Emmett plows through the wolf, throwing them off and you are pulled upright. Carlisle’s hand wrapped around yours, his eyes full of concern.

“You okay?” There’s concern, but there is also a level of certainty because Amun is right—you do know.

“Always.”

But there is always more wolves, replacing every one you toss to the side. Slowly, you and your newfound family are backed into a corner. Against the house, you try to rationalize with yourself. Tightening your grasp on Carlisle’s hand, “I’m sorry.”

You whisper to him—too weak to save Bella and too weak to take on the wolves. Had your diet changed so much? Turned you into this, you side glance at Carlisle—or had he? Was it his doing? Is this why Amun was so easily defeated by the Volturi, because he had let love make him weak?

You were meant to be strong.

You glance up at Amun as he finds out the extent of his newfound speed, the arris desert winds pushing against him. You smile, to finally not be alone. The way his eyes shift and he pauses at the top, casting a glance at the pyramids.

“Amun look at your hand.” He glances at you and then his hand, the gems that now make up his skin coming to life. His smile brightens and he laughs, Amun almost seems baffled.

You rush up to him, your lips never flatten or lose the curve—he never seemed this alive before. Even as he speaks, you feel empowered by his words.

“It’s unbelievable.”

Things changed then, became as they were—even now as you sit across from Carlisle, in silence with the rest of the Cullens. It’s a waiting game, to wait for the transformation to conclude. It was three days and two nights of screaming before Amun awoke, those screams still plague your thoughts. Three nights for Catherine to completely turn, and one night for Roland. Everyone turns differently, but the screaming was always the same.

Only Bella does not move. She is silent.

“Check.” You whisper, moving your room into place. Carlisle blocks you with a knight, which is predictable, but acceptable to your next move.

“It wasn’t your fault.” You shrug, ignoring his comfort and take his knight as your own.

“Check.”

“You are still new this lifestyle. It will have its affects on your abilities.” You sigh watching him take your rook with a pawn—you overlooked that. “Honestly it’s amazing how you’re doing so far.” Moving your knight, you begin the painstaking process of backing him into a corner.

“Carlisle—you are infuriating right now. You have only ever known this lifestyle, and I’ve lived as the other side of our species for a thousand years.” You counter every move he makes, when he takes a pawn—you take a bishop. And soon enough, you take his queen. “Right now, I am at my weakest. And right now, I hardly think it’s worth it.”

Carlisle shakes his head, trying to reach out, but you pull away. Angry. Frustrated. “You don’t have to do anything.” You do, you know that you have to even if it means losing most of you strength for the coming months. “You can always go back.” You can’t—not now that you’ve tasted what it means to love. He moved again.

“I can’t—” You know that you cannot leave, barely able to stand the thought of ever being apart again. “I won’t.” You hesitate, pinching a chess piece in your fingers. “I play chess everyday I live, it’s how I’ve made it this far—” You pause, looking up at him—studying how sad he seems. He is the sun, but you… You are nothing close, as far away from the sun as the stars. “Despite everything, I stay alive by never being weaker than my opponent.”

You carry a burden heavier than you thought, as you knock over his king. “Checkmate.”

There will be one more part of this imagine, and I am so excited to show you the final bit of this. It is not perfect, but this is a story I’ve been wanting to tell for a while.

[catboymafia]

(Unrebloggable post)

Mental illness does things like make you think you have special secret true information that contradicts mainstream narratives. I thought the masons were putting human parts in grocery store products, ye thinks hitler was misunderstood. The elaborate processing of information through psychosis is obscured except for the resulting output. We dont know why he arrived at this false conclusion and are unlikely to find out until or unless he explains that (eg) dragon energy is sending him messages from god and actually hitler was a pacifistic figurehead and wanted to found a new isreal for the jewish diaspora in madagascar before the party faction controlled by ernst rohm created the concentration camp plan and shifted focus to ethnic cleansing. From the perspective of "a ghost told me he was just a fallguy but he's still in soft hell trying to earn his wings by helping antinazis in the living world because he was still a collaborator and he helps jewish kids give class speeches now and i astral projected and watched once", his comments would make sense. That is mental illness.

We should probably open up the conversation about how conservatives sprinkle psychosis triggers into their culture warring, and these sprinkles create a background radiation of facsist conspiracy mythology that seems to have a special magnetism for the obsessive thinking of people experiencing psychosis. It is easy to get pipelined into qanon territory from any given rabbithole. And this seems to be an intentional weaponization of mental illness against the mentally ill. The mainstream dialogue has no form of compassionate support aimed at addressing or deescalating this process.

A fair intervention is looking for impartial sources that introduce a sense of unreality to the psychotic delusion (which feels hyper-real when uncontested); eg does ye agree that hitler wrote mein kampf or was that ghostwritten by ernst rohm? If hitler wrote it you cant say he didnt hate jewish people, and hating jewish people was demonstrably not good for germany, so what gives with saying anything to the contrary? Catching vibes? Seeing what happens? Thatd be stimulation seeking, self-destructive recklessness; depression copes plus psychosis. We can blame people for their struggles or we can be more solipsistic; struggle is going to be "inappropriate" a lot at this juncture, its early on in the awokening. In a case like ye's where he's seeming to be taking on new beliefs that are bizarre and its during a time of extreme personal stress, i think we can kind of rule out "he was always hateful and these are his core beliefs coming out", and yet people are acting like his present state is interchangeable with that scenario morally and reacting from that perspective. I debate how woke this is.

#kanye west