#excerpts from a book i'll never write
coffeeandpoetrydarling · 2 days ago
Softness. That softness, I realized, is what distinguishes him from you. When we would kiss, your kisses held so much emotion in them they swallowed me whole. I think you intended for them to leave me empty, so you could take over everything in my life, including me. They didn’t leave room for me to breathe, to think. And with him, his kisses are so soft, so so soft. Our lips brush against eachother tentatively, still unsure of what we’re getting ourselves into. But while kissing him, I feel so much; my heart is racing, my thoughts are running wild with ideas of what we could be. His carresses are soft, his words are soft, his voice is soft, so so soft. Sometimes I don’t even know what to do with it, after being with your harshness for so long. I don’t know what to do with the space he leaves for me to just be, to grow by myself and if I want, to grow next to him. I didn’t know it could be like this.
- n.g. 
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beyondgenre · 3 months ago
Thinking about when someone rests their head on your shoulders and suddenly you are barely breathing because you don't want to disrupt their comfort by moving. I will never get over how there can be so much love in silent gestures.
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paaaaracetamol · 3 months ago
"You can't love someone else without loving yourself first."
That's complete bullshit. I have never loved myself. But you? Oh my God, you. I have loved you so hard that I forgot what hating myself felt like.
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yourhandwrittenletter · 20 days ago
I don’t quite know how we’ve ended up here. How we’ve ended up as strangers when we used to spend nights staring at one another across the mattress, pointing and counting up quirks like constellations. I knew you loved me when you asked about the small bump beneath my lip that even I’d never noticed. You traced it with your thumb, something soft in those eyes. “Where did it come from?” you asked, like you’d give anything to see me in childhood just to know me more fully. That’s love, isn’t it? Not the sex or sacrifice or small talk you make after years of memorizing one another. It’s the digging, the prying, the eventual release. The discovery of your own uncharted territories. You saw me more clearly than I saw myself, and somehow you still walked away. Back then I thought you loved me so much that even if it crumbled, broke beyond repair, you’d stay. Touch my forgotten scar and sigh. When you left you said, “You’re all I’ve ever known” as if that was reason enough. It’s become blurry now, the certainty that you loved me once. More fresh are the fights, the never-framed photos. The times I prompted you to call me beautiful, begging for crumbs. I wish I could remember the lilt of your voice as you asked me that question. I stare across the mattress all too often. Alone in the dark, I can almost convince myself that you’re still here. I can almost feel you, fingers frozen on my face, so curious and consumed. Both of us barely breathing in wonder, unaware it would be the moment I’d miss most.
a girl who only writes when she’s heartbroken, pen on paper for the first time in three years
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threestarstotheleft · 2 months ago
You ask me if I’ll ever move on, and my answer to you is a simple no. Five years from now when you’re in a different city, in the unknown, surrounded by people you love and care for, maybe even with your new lover, I’ll still be here. You ask me why I find meaning in leading a life of misery and staying stuck in the past. I smile at you with all the energy I have in me for a brief moment like I know, how ten years from now, when you wonder if I ever made it through you, I’ll still be thinking of how you used to smile on a sunny day in your balcony when you saw my name on your phone.
You ask me if I’ll ever forget you, my answer to you is a simple no. Another five years go by and I’m still thinking of how I saw lights shine in your eyes and how it brightened my days when I was in my twenties. I may have gotten good at indulging myself in things I love and accepting that I annihilated myself the day I let you leave. My face may tell you a different story on how I don’t struggle at this loss as much. But trust me it’s still there. As clear as it could be. You see, I envisioned exactly this when I pointed out that I could die for you. You used to hate those words come out of my mouth. And it’s exactly what I chose to return to a love like this, my life right under its foot to walk on.
And some day when old age takes over, when you look up at the sky and think to yourself, where I am and who I’m with, I want you to know I’m nowhere far from you. I want you to know I’m still standing in the rain, letting myself shiver with every drop that pours down on me. After all, my only wish was to let you be my last. And so you were. Even though nothing ever made sense about living a life of emptiness and how you thought it was utterly rare for someone to chose to stay for you, I’d do that without a second thought, like a reflex that’s engraved deep down in my brain, I’d do that.
You ask me if I will ever let go of what I have left of the time I had with you, I’m older and I can’t remember your voice but I still go over to my archives to hear you again after a really long time. I’m reminded of you again and I let out a delicate smile. I head on to pray for every ambition you wished in life to turn to reality and mumble to myself “ I hope you find everything you’re looking for and never look back, I don’t want you to have to look back.”
- Love and I.
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6-1-5 · 2 months ago
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ofunsaidwords · 3 months ago
I don't think it ever occurred to Achilles that Patroclus might die first and that's what breaks me. Imagine loving someone so much you wish for them to outlive you. Until they don't. Then what?
— chiron was right // excerpt from a book i'll never write pt.3
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sparkandashes · a year ago
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the-girl-not-next-door · a month ago
I want you to take my hand and get me far away from this wretched land.
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sunsets-foreigntown · 5 months ago
How many different ways can I say I miss you?
The beach is soulless without you. The sun still shines, but her radiance subdued without the reflection of your skin, and the sand dull without the weight of your body. Whatever happens, life goes on. But it was more beautiful with you in it.
You say you won’t stay here. But will you ever stay anywhere for long? Because I think really, all cities pale in comparison to you. The world is often ugly. But you, you are poetry. Like Mary Oliver wrote, the light of the world in the light of the world… you are exactly the poem I wanted to write. Yet, the greatest poet in the world could not write a single line more beautiful than you are. And who am I to try?
Vanesha Pravin wrote, “It is June. Let’s hope someone is kind, just in time.” And it was almost June. And you were kind. Just in time.
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egoisme · a month ago
there are few moments when I see myself for what I am. at my core, a monster with shivering teeth and a hollow stomach. unlikeable. unlovable. pushing away the few who could stomach loving me. I could make excuses for myself. I’m hungry. I’m tired. I’m depressed. it’s genetic. it’s my family. but at the end of it all. it’s still me. it’s always been me. a moody and angry kid. a moody and angry adult. struggling to keep the skin on my face. struggling to keep my mouth shut. struggling to keep my lips from bleeding. cold and stiff no matter how many scarves I wrap around my neck. if only once, I’d like to hold someone in my palm, and not puncture them with my nails.
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coffeeandpoetrydarling · 15 days ago
We let each other go and it was for the best, but I will love you until the clasp of the necklace you gave me breaks and I can finally take it off. Until then, it is  linked to my heart and I’ll have it on me where ever I go. As long as I have it with me, I’ll still have a piece of you. 
- I should probably take this damn necklace off but I can’t // n.g.
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beyondgenre · 2 months ago
In real life, endings come on so suddenly, without a warning, without making any sense. One moment you are in the middle of something and the next it's all a very long time ago and you're a different person and none of it is ever coming back.
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bonestosoul · 7 months ago
has anyone ever stood close enough to tell the color of your eyes?
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jugn00 · 7 months ago
//excerpts from a book i will never write//
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//writing// (@jugn00 )
do not repost. they are written by me and i would appreciate if they were given credit if posted elsewhere. by "appreciate", i mean, that is how it will be, because it's my work :)
plagiarism is a sin.
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threestarstotheleft · a month ago
So one day I let my self and everything I held close to me go and said, “that’s enough, that’s enough for now.” At some point you have to realise you are doing too much to be there for someone, that you’re fighting a losing battle. Sometimes, the next possible step you can take is to just stop. Leave them alone, let the idea of that friendship go, walk away. You never wanted to be “just friends” with them anyway. Don’t ruin a good time you had with someone by prolonging it more than it should. Now I’m not asking you to hate them, I say this with the understanding that there is love in letting go and that you may want to remember them for the beauty of it rather than waiting around for it to be bitter in your mind. And believe me when I say this, if it isn’t something that’s bringing you joy anymore and it used to in the past, don’t make the mistake of sticking yourself out for them and watch it go wrong in every possible direction. It’s not that you’re giving up, and it’s not that you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw a line in between all the determination and the desperation. It’s just that what’s truly yours will be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
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burgundymistress · 2 months ago
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because the day was difficult, from me to you.
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prasannawrites · 3 months ago
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an excerpt from ‘CARMEN ET ERROR’ from ‘LETTERS FROM THE BLOOD GROOVE’ by @prasannawrites​ ​
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the-girl-not-next-door · 25 days ago
The biggest scam that humans ever tried to pull on the Universe is to divide the rotation and revolution of the celestial bodies for their own convenience. I mean, poets are literally comparing the eyes of their potential lovers with the stars that have been dying for million years. Time is a social/human construct. Party all you want but leave the sun out of it .
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sunsets-foreigntown · 2 months ago
i nap when i’m not tired. i wake up and i close my eyes and i go back to sleep and i wake up and i turn around and go back to sleep and i keep doing it until the thought of sleeping makes me nauseous. because the days are just too long. i couldn’t possibly do it all at once. i’d be crushed under the weight of it. better to break it up into pieces. a little bit at a time, please. easier to digest that way. my hands are so little. my arms are weak. i can only take so much. and can you blame me for wanting a break. a brief release from the joys of living i’m too tired or numb or sad or fucking whatever to appreciate right now.
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