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#excuse me while i scream into the void a little...
v5ttelfilms · 8 months
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sweet dream was over ☽ mick schumacher
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gossf1poutlet news of mick schumacher and y/n leclerc previously being in a relationship trends as the number one topic across social media, following an unfortunate leak from their private accounts. both the schumacher and leclerc's have expressed their opinion on this matter, via a strongly worded 'love letter' from legal counsels that represented their respective families. on a statement that was recently released, both parties have similarly urged everyone to refrain from making unnecessary assumptions and encouraged the public to rally against the spread of misinformation and baseless accounts of the pair's alleged relationship. their representatives also promises to pursue legal actions against the culprit.
username the whiplash i got from seeing this all over my tl still makes my muscles spasm😩
username extremely amazed at how they managed to keep it a secret for so long
username yes!!! no one expected little leclerc to REALLY pick one off of her dizzying number of suitors /gen
username thanks for adding the geniune tag op
username anytime🫡 we ride at dawn for little leclerc in this house
username please present your simp card at the checkout
username sure, do you accept the laminated one or does it have to be the government mandated one?
username so... timeline recaping anyone? 🤔
username they probably got together during 2019 or 2020
username seems that way, funny if you account the arthur and mick prema timeline aswell
username got together late 2019 or early 2020 and probably broke up late 2021 or early 2022, but that's only my intelligent guess 🤷‍♀️
username around the same time mick was having haas problems too? fcking brutal
username did the article say to not make unnecessary assumptions or did it not??!🙄
username this news has devastated me more than my own breakup... and that mothertrucker cheated on me with my bff. brb hurling and crying into the void.
username they were so perfect 🥺
username forever enchanted, my treasure. FOREVER enchanted MY treasure. FOREVER ENCHANTED MY TREASURE!!
username are u okay, do u need intervention?
username send all the help you could give my way tysm🥰
username rocking back and forth while hugging my knees to my chest type of thing
username pretending they never broke up for my sanity
username probably the reason she never had the guts to attend a grand prix
username she was getting educated and winning pageants, but yeah?
username these dts fans
username 💀💀
username tell me who was the champion year by year?
username where'd you get that from, netflix?
username so mick HAS game, but i never thought i'd learn it this way😞
username throwing up and shaking trembling and hurling and screaming crying
username love is NOT real
username it's literally the way mick coined the jewel/gem nickname for y/n before the rest of the world started calling her monégasque's pearl 🥺😭
username he has bragging rights forever
username he subconsciously knew it!!!
username never letting any man call me homie from now on
username girl—
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2021, Switzerland
"y/n? what are you doing down here?" corinna asks you, mildly taken aback to see you down at the kitchen just around midnight.
you look up from blankly staring at the keys of your laptop, evidently surprised to see the older woman standing just a few steps away from you. you didn't hear her footsteps or anything.
"just..." you trail off, grappling for an appropriate response as to why you were sitting in the dark, barely awake, in the middle of the night. "files," you lie, unconvincingly.
corinna hums, and you knew she was barely convinced by your pathetic excuse, but she had too much tact to call you out on your lie. she wasn't blind, or oblivious as the kids these days would say; though she was considerably older, she still understood the worries and anxieties of the young heart.
"it's very late, schatz." she chides gently, touching your shoulder. "you shouldn't be working this late, it's bad for you." her tone was heavily laden with a motherly lilt.
"stunts my growth," you utter softly, smiling at her. corinna chuckles, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheeks. "and you can't be miss universe if you're short."
"you trust me too much." you remark teasingly.
"you ought to take over the world, darling." corinna laughs softly. "now, are you up for some warm milk and some- what do you children call it? tea sharing?"
"close, you're well versed with today's lingo. should i tell uncle michael that he should be worried?"
"he should always be worried." she says seriously, which made you tip your head back to laugh. she smiles at you, fondness clear as a day. "that's how you keep them on their toes. never make them feel comfortable."
spending the break with mick and his family in their summer home in switzerland has been a tradition of sorts. and alongside your fairy tale like romance with the youngest of the schumacher's, you had also become incredibly close with the rest of his family.
corinna grabs two glasses and neatly places them on the counter, she opens the fridge to get the carton of milk and pours a generous amount to each glass. she swiftly pops it in the microwave, before turning and giving her sole attention to you.
"i'm happy to see you laugh again, schatz. suits you better."
"that's very accusatory. i have been laughing, and smiling all week." you insist, light heartedly.
"maybe so, but not as pretty and geniune as now." she replies, "is there anything wrong? is it mick?" her tone was heavy with concern, looking both distressed and dreading your confirmation. it could have been her son that was the cause of the shift in your demeanor.
you look down at your lap, feeling the tears prick at your eyes upon her overwhelming bout of concern she plainly wears on her face. it reminds you so much of your own mother, and of which, corinna has easily become a substitute for when maman wasn't around.
"it's nothing." you clear your throat, "he's wonderful. he always is." you tried to smile in fake cheer.
"that's good." she smiles softly, "i was just about to say, that he loves you. he tells me everyday, he tells his father; he tells everyone willing to listen how much he could not fathom how you ever came to be in his life," she narrates earnestly, emotion heavy on her voice, "and he'll spend every waking moment of it to do right by you. to make you proud."
you closed your eyes, trying to will the tears at bay. "he tells me everyday too," your voice shook with emotion, throat welling up with tears. "and i know he means it. i do. but he— he never stops feeling like he constantly has to prove something, or be someone, or win everything." you weren't able to stop the tears, even as your eyes were closed. you finally open your eyes to see corinna's teary ones aswell, "and i— if i am the cause of it, i don't... i no longer feel worthy of his love."
you physically, felt all weight of pretense leave your body; finally being able to put to words the emotions, and complex thoughts you've bottled up, in fear of speaking it into existence. your shoulders sank, your defenses crumbling, as you broke down into inconsolable tears, weeping at your hands.
you felt arms wrap around you, weading through the shame and guilt you felt at your admission. you'd expected corinna's blame, but you never counted on her consolation. she held you. sympathetic and kind, and gracious; and understanding.
"it will be okay, schatzi." she says in the strands of your hair, "it will be. i promise you."
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hard-core-super-star · 7 months
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Hi, may I please request Reader is Australian and is a judge on the Voice, Australia. Hailee (Steinfeld obviously), with the other judges help to surprise Reader by 'auditioning'. (Reader obviously turns her chair. They've been dating for a couple of years.)
keep on coming back for more [H.Steinfeld]
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pairing: hailee steinfeld x musician!reader
summary: you don't really like surprises...unless they involve a certain brunette and your favorite song.
warnings: none, just fluff; me pretending like i know what i'm talking about when i really don't; R is technically a guitar player but that's not expanded upon; like two seconds of nervous hailee
wordcount: 1k
a/n: messed around with the pov on this one again so...yeet. i also did the most scuffed research on the voice, australia so forgive me if it sucks/if things are too vague. this fic was also just an excuse for me to scream into the void about rock bottom because it's one of hailee's best songs, argue with the wall. [but not the version with dnce because...men. do i have to say anything else?] hope you enjoy <3
* * * * * * *
Hailee knows being nervous about this is ridiculous but that doesn’t stop her heart from thundering in her chest or her hands from growing clammy. Usually, those things are a sign of excitement but today, the butterflies in her stomach feel a little more uneasy than usual.
It’s been more than a few years since the last time she performed this song live and, if she’s being completely honest with herself, she’s worried about what you’ll think.
Surprises aren’t her strong suit, especially not when they involve your work but it’s been a few months since you left L.A to start working on The Voice, Australia and she hasn’t had a chance to come see you until now.
She was originally just going to visit you on set and let that be the surprise but she may have texted Rita Ora about her idea to fly to Sidney to see you and then one thing led to another and now she’s here. Minutes away from pretending to be yet another blind audition for the show.
Everyone had agreed it would be a great way to get more people to watch the show, or at the very least the clip that would be posted on YouTube later, but she didn’t care about any of that. She just cared about getting to see your smile again. 
“You’re on in five.”
The brunette nods in response, practically counting down the seconds until the two of you are finally reunited. Dramatic, sure, but also sweet in a way that makes you melt every time.
While Hailee’s getting ready for her surprise performance, you are doing your best to act like you’re paying complete attention to whatever ‘argument’ Rita and Jessica are having to convince the most recent auditioner to join their team. 
You’ve been a witness to these ‘arguments’ a couple of times since filming started but you always stay out of them. Mainly because they’re fun to watch but also because you’re technically the new kid on the block and you have some massive shoes to fill. Keith Urban-sized shoes to be specific. 
You still don’t know how you went from playing the guitar in your room to being a professional musician to being a judge on The Voice but you’re not about to complain. That doesn’t mean the job isn’t tiring but you can’t afford to look like you don’t know what you’re doing. 
The young singer ends up choosing Rita’s team and you’re given a quick break as the crew gets everything ready for the next contestant. You resist the urge to check your phone, knowing all it will do is make you miss your girlfriend. This wasn’t the first time the two of you were doing long distance but it never gets easier. 
You don’t get the chance to dwell on your thoughts too long since filming resumes. You straighten your back in the surprisingly comfortable chair and prepare yourself for the next blind audition.
A few seconds go by before you hear the beginning notes of a song you know like the back of your hand. The smile on your face gives away your growing excitement at getting to hear someone cover a song you love so much. 
You're honestly a little surprised it's taken so long for someone to audition using one of Hailee’s songs. It’s a shock but a welcome one for sure. Just because they're using one of your girlfriend’s songs doesn't mean you'll go easy on them, though. You’re easygoing but extremely picky when you want to be. And you’ll be extra picky just to honor the one you love more than anything else. 
“What are we fighting for? Seems like we do it just for fun…” 
Your eyes widen at the sound of that voice. 
For a second you think you’re imagining things but there’s no possible way you could be wrong. You could be underwater with a bag over your head and still manage to recognize your girlfriend’s voice.
“Breathe deep, bottle it up…”
You don’t waste another second in pressing the red button that allows you to turn around and see Hailee in all her glory. Your breath gets caught in your throat at the sight of her and suddenly, everything else around you disappears. The lights, the audience, even your fellow judges, all you can see and hear is her.
Her brown eyes are trained on you and you have no doubt she’s feeling exactly what you’re feeling. The smile on her face tells you all you need to know about where her mind is. “Oh, we’re on the right side of rock bottom…”
She can’t hold herself back any longer and she takes a few long strides, walking down the stage steps and reaching your chair with a smile so bright it rivals every star you’ve ever seen. Her hand reaches out toward you and you take it without hesitation, allowing her to pull you toward her.
The moment might go viral later but neither of you is focused on anything except the other.
“You’re the best kind of bad something,” she sings, her face mere inches away from yours. “‘Cause we keep on coming back for more.”
This time, you’re the one who can’t hold back. You wait for her to pull her microphone away before you lean in and capture her lips in a kiss filled with all the love you’ve had to keep inside since you left L.A.
You have no doubt the studio probably wanted more words exchanged and overly dramatic shocked expressions but all those complaints will come later. Hell, you’ll even reshoot the whole thing if it means getting to spend time with Hailee on set. But all of that can wait until later.
“Warn a person next time,” you whisper with a grin once the two of you part for air.
“Where’s the fun in that, babe?”
You playfully roll your eyes at her, pretending to be annoyed when you’re truly overjoyed to hear her teasing remarks in person again. “You’re the worst.” 
“You love me,” she replies with a shrug.
She starts to move away but you pull her back in for another quick kiss before she can get too far.
You hear the commotion that comes with getting ready for filming to resume but you’re too busy giving Hailee all your attention to care. You’re incredibly grateful for the opportunity to be here, and you absolutely love your job, but your girlfriend will always come first.
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annathesillyfriend · 1 year
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...so I might be a bit late with that 😅 I have nothing to say for myself. But hey, better late than never!
To all the writers - I love you and I appreciate you so much!
To all the readers - please, share the fics you read and love. The reblog really makes the change! It’s the least we can do to show our gratitude.
Also, please, mind the writers’ warnings!
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✨ROBERT 'BOB' FLOYD✨
warmth by sugarcoated-lame
↳ one shot, 18+, the fact that i don't wake up to this man is criminal
eyes wide shut by @topguncortez
↳ one shot, i am not okay :')
he's all that by @withahappyrefrain
↳ one shot, love this fic <3
someone to watch over me by @lewmagoo
↳ one shot, 18+, secret service agent!bob, we love a good au
of admirals and paperweights by lewmagoo
↳ one shot, 18+, wife!reader, this is so hot, i don't know what else to say, my brain is empty
wedding day. by @sebsxphia
↳ one shot, robert floyd is the definition of husband material
best friend and sweet as honey by bradshawsbitch
↳ two shot, 18+, best friends to lovers, this made me a little crazy, not gonna lie
better by @delopsia
↳ one shot, 18+, friends to lovers, beautiful work 💕
✨BRADLEY 'ROOSTER' BRADSHAW✨
headache #2 by waklman
↳ one shot, 18+ bradley is stinkybutt and that's all you need to know
the zipper incident by @tongue-like-a-razor
↳ one shot, 18+, that's a hell of a fic, let me tell you
5 times the bronco was a third wheel by @thesewordsareallihavetogive
↳ one shot, my beloved man with his beloved car
the purrfect storm by @roosterforme
↳ one shot, vet!reader x new cat dad!bradley, word of advise for you all - you see 'roosterforme' on your dash, you drop everything you're doing and go read the absolute masterpiece of a fic you stumbled upon
what's in a name? by @sometimesanalice
↳ one shot, 18+, i can't tell you how many times i've reread that fic
the pregnancy glow by @topgun-imagines
↳ one shot, wife!reader, 🥰🥰 <- this is me after reading this
forever young by @greenorangevioletgrass
↳ one shot, this is a platonic bradley x maverick fic, absolutely wonderful just like any other work written by my beloved Ava
to rest for a while by @familyvideostevie
↳ one shot, oh to go on a road trip and exchange live confessions with bradley bradshaw 🥺
superstar by @maggiedanikka
↳ two shot, 10/10 would read again!
when all is said and done by @sunlightmurdock
↳ one shot, 18+, maverick's daughter!reader, uh this is bloody good fic
same mistakes by @ofstoriesandstardust
↳ series, maverick's daughter!readr, enemies to lovers, such a banger of a story!!
to the moon and back by katsu28
↳ one shot, made my heart 5x bigger 💓
what a look on you by @thewulf
↳ one shot, best friends to lovers, great story 👏
to make a house a home by @beyondthesefourwalls
↳ one shot, i'm gonna be dead before i can actually afford a house but at least i can dream about house hunting with bradley :')
2 a.m. by @thebastardprincenikolai
↳ one shot, 18+, friends with benefits, we love a little bit of a friendly competition ;)
hourglass bysugarcoated-lame
↳ one shot, 18+, this is just so sweet 😫
✨JAKE 'HANGMAN' SERESIN✨
glue song by @waklman
↳ series, friends to lovers, we love pining jake in this household
delicate by waklman
↳ series, natasha's friend!reader, i want to hold jake in my arms 24/7
touch me by @bradshawsbitch
↳ one shot, 18+, excuse me while i go scream into a void
left at the altar by @tip-top-cloud-surfer
↳ series, 18+, ex!jake, bit of drama, bit of angst, all our favourite stuff
sweet as candy by @halsteadsbradshaw
↳ one shot, all i need in life is jake seresin and candy
talk with my hands, maybe take it real slow by @theharddeck
↳ one shot, 18+, roommate!jake, he is just such a helpful guy 😌
cherry bomb by @flaming-tgmcu
↳ one shot, jake seresin, the man that you are
our shirt by @whoreforseresin
↳ one shot, you need this morning fluff in your life, trust me
take it off slowly by whoreforseresin
↳ one shot, 18+, you need this bloody hot smut in your life, trust me
it's all about you by @bussyslayer333
↳ one shot, i love this format and this fic in general!
oh deer by @wkndwlff
↳ one shot, best friend!jake, can you hear me yell? cause i'm yelling
she blinded me with science by wkndwlff
↳ one shot, the lab workers representation i never knew i needed!
move on by @starlightstories
↳ one shot, if you're looking to get your heart broken, this fic is your guy :')
i wanna brainwash you into loving me forever by @demxters
↳ one shot, perfection 🙌🙌
man, i didn't kiss her and i should have by @folkloreslovechild
↳ one shot, college!au, the love epiphany trope is something so personal to me
i think there's been a glitch by folkloreslovechild
↳ one shot, “TOPGUN isn’t about working hard. It’s about looking good in uniform.” <- facts!!
5 times hangman got older + 1 time he got wiser, too by folkloreslovechild
↳ one shot, childhood friends to lovers, he is an idiot but we love him
the fuck you universe by @roosterbruiserexclusive
↳ series, 18+, kazansky!reader, enemies to loves, A👏MA👏ZING👏
always a bridesmaid by @sugarcoated-lame
↳ one shot, 18+, bradshaw!reader, just simply phenomenal story 🙌
✨MICKEY 'FANBOY' GARCIA✨
one sunny afternoon by @rhettabbotts
↳ one shot, 18+, fiancee!reader, my brain turns to jelly when i think about this fic
speeding cars by @teacupsandtopgun
↳ one shot, this fic did me so so dirty and that's all i'm saying
✨JAVY 'COYOTE' MACHADO✨
water droplets by @siempre-bucky
↳ one shot, 18+, javy's chest is not the only wet thing in this scenario hehe
daylight by siempre-bucky
↳ one shot, 18+, sorry i can't come to the phone rn. why? oh cause i'm dead, this fic killed me
how sweet it is... by @coyotesamachado
↳ one shot, javy machado, love me, feed me, never leave me, i am begging
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✨STEVE HARRINGTON✨
time to giddy up, yeah? by @loveshotzz
↳ one shot, 18+, mustache or not, there's nothing i would not do for this man
love on the brain by @vendettaparker
↳ one shot, pregnant!reader, someone make this man a dad asap
glitch by @forevermoreharrington
↳ one shot, 18+, fwb to lovers, THIS 😫
sping breaks loose by forevermoreharrington
↳ one shot, soft boyfriend!steve deserves the world
whispers of "are you sure?" by forevermoreharrington
↳ one shot, 18+, friends to lovers, he have a hattrick on our hands!
bathroom break by @stvharrngton
↳ one shot, 18+, old money!steve, oh man 🥵
dizzy bystvharrngton
↳ one shot, 18+, steve is very rideable 🤤
relax, lay back by @superblysubpar
↳ one shot, 18+, i love this so much, you do not understand
delicate by @bejeweledmunson
↳ one shot, best friends to lovers, sometimes all it takes is a reality check
never could've seen you coming and i've had no love like your love by @supernovafics
↳ two shot, 18+, i love this with everything i have!!!
lemon over ice (part 2) by @upsidedownwithsteve
↳ two shot, 18+, i am unwell in the best way possible
and they were roommates by @sunshinesteviee
↳ one shot, this >>>>> everything else in this world
✨EDDIE MUNSON✨
teach me how to be soft by @lovebugism
↳ one shot, bad at feelings!reader, i just love him, you know?
dial-a-thrill by @bimbobaggins69
↳ one shot, 18+, phone sex operator!eddie, it is exactly as hot as it sounds honestly
penny'verse by @queenimmadolla
↳ series, young dad!eddie, this is just so wholesome!!
dinner buddies by @katsu28
↳ one shot, i want to hold this story in my arms and never let it go
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✨RHETT ABBOTT✨
your back beneath the sun by @laracrofted
↳ one shot, 18+, remember, spf is your best friend!
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goldennightengale · 1 year
Note
HELLO!!! I saw your post about the symbiote! reader and wanted to make a request!
Requested!character dates a pokemon trainer!s/o who owns a variety of pokemon *you can pick the pokémon* but their Pikachu is always out of his pokeball and following them wherever they are? Like?? Imagine the bickering between Grim and Pikachu?!
Pikachu: Pika pi....PIKA!!!! *cheeks literally begin to spark*
Grim: Shut yer yappin! I, the great Grim, only stole your food because yer was too slow!
Can you do this request with the dorm leaders? If not, you can do it with three characters of your choosing! Thank you so much!
Warnings: slight mention of easing live Pokémon (Appletun), existential crisis (Ruggie)
Gender Neutral MC
Pikachu, I choose you!
You were so close to completing your final challenge. Standing in front of the final Pokémon Gym, you were prepared to risk it all for your dream of becoming a master trainer. Your Pikachu, a sweet little thing you named Poppy after her love for poppy seeds, nuzzled into your cheek.
She was there with you every step of the way. From the day you chose your starter Pokemon, Poppy had been growing alongside you in both strength and determination. She shared your pain and joy, your tears and frustrations, and listened to your stories of your family every night. She was practically a part of your family by now.
So now you stood together at the final hurdle. You steeled your breath and slowly turned the handle to the battle room, slowly pushing through before the ground beneath you shattered. You screamed and clung to your Pikachu, falling through the void into an adventure you’d never imagined for yourself…
Trey Clover
When I tell you Poppy adores this man 
Literally was attached at the hip the second she met him because he made her blueberry poppyseed muffins
Was he trying to use her as an excuse to see you more often?
Maybe…
Don’t worry, he made sweets for you too!
He really likes your Alcremie and Appletun, though he does find it funny you had sweet themed Pokémon in your world
Yes, he is slightly mortified by the fact that children will just walk up to Appletun and start eating it and it would let them do it
Does not understand when you say he looks like a Shaymin
Rook Hunt
Poppy unintentionally started a never-ending game of hide-and-seek with him and even now you don’t understand what is happening
She can find Rook no matter where he hides and he loves it
It’s like when a cat stares into a corner at something you can’t see
They have fun and you don’t really mind (though you do get spooked occasionally)
Gets along best with your Decidueye and Froakie, though your Eevees feel a bit nervous when he’s around too long 
He mentioned their tail fur being quite the rewarding trophy and now they kinda fear him
Whoops… 
Ruggie Bucchi
Poppy and Ruggie are now partners in crime
She loves when he gives her a portion of his spoils and he is grateful for Poppy’s small size
Great for getting into those hard-to-reach snack dens certain Savanaclaw students make around the campus
Poor you having to clean up their mess and apologize for your little thieves
He adores your Mightyena and Zoroark and definitely gets them involved in the shenanigans 
Has a slight crisis over you owning a whole ass HYENA POKEMON
Howdy, hey! Sorry for this being such a short post. I have been a bit drained from writing so many things and the fact that I haven't been too involved in Pokemon gave me quite a struggle while writing this request. I hope you enjoyed it regardless of the length, and maybe I shall rewrite this to better suit your request.
I hope my work fulfilled your fantasy! - GN
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eneablack · 7 months
Note
OMG TELL US ABOUT THE TRIP PLS
I’m seeing this right after i posted that answer bRO HOW ARE YOU SO FAST-
Anyway I checked and I haven’t talked about it, I only shortly did in my insta stories, so let’s do this.
(long post ahead)
I was doing a trip to the mountains with my family in my void reality (cr) and I desperately wanted to experience it with the marauders too, so I started acting as if I was there with the marauders instead. And after being delusional I woke up there like only a day or two after.
It was the morning day before my birthday and I asked the marauders to go to my house in the mountains to celebrate and have a small vacation together. They agreed right away, wanting to skip school so bad, so we just took James’ car after preparing some stuff (we did this so fast we forgot so many things, like both Peter and James forgot their toothbrush lol so we had to buy them there).
Remus was driving and we fly for like a hour. It was a little chaotic from the start. James kept putting cringy indie italian music (se sei italiano sappi che James stava mettendo solo i Pinguini tattici nucleari) and singing out loud while dancing and just moving A LOT, like he couldn’t stay still for not even a minute. Sirius was talking a lot about everyone, not really in a gossip-y way but more like “i just wanna talk about literally everyone because i’m bored” so we had this long ass chat about all of our classmates and also teachers, he let it all out tbh. Peter was asking some questions from time to time both to Sirius and I if he was interested, but he was mostly chill. Remus did not make ANY noise and was just focused on the direction, he would just shush James from time to time whenever he would cross the line and like scream the lyrics.
Nothing much happened when we arrived beside having lunch and walking around the place. It was very chill actually, it’s a pretty quiet place there so despite James being noisy from time to time it was very comforting and calm overall. We did play a lot of board games (especially at night) like pictionary, mimes and cluedo, and we were so caught up in the game that I didn’t even realise we were making lots of noise so the neighbours knocked on the door and called us out lol.
When we had to go to sleep the first night I had to go with Sirius in one room at the first floor, while James was with Peter in the other one next to us, and Remus was alone on the couch-bed at the second floor. I wanted to use Sirius’ snoring as an excuse to share the couch with Remus ahem but I didn’t want to be desperate so I just kept it to myself.
BUT. BUT. the second night, we bought some beer and it didn’t end up well. With this I mean I got almost drunk cause I have zero tolerance (both in my cr and dr lol it’s pretty embarrassing ngl) but I mean they were too, at least a little tipsy, so I was not fully alone in that. AND. I kept saying that I didn’t want to sleep with Sirius cause he snores so much but I was obviously lying, so I sat on the couch that was fully open into a bed already and I got comfy while they were still talking. Then, I deadass faked that I fell asleep there, hoping that my plan would succeed. And it fucking did.
As I kept my eyes closed I heard them talking about how they were going to sleep since I fell asleep there, and then Sirius got close to my face and asked if I was really asleep (he’s my twin brother i meannnn he just knows everything so he probably figured i was faking) and I remember I told him something like “please help me stay with remus tonight” 😭 this is so embarrassing i’m sorry. So he just told everyone that I was asleep but he didn’t want to share the bed with Remus so this man replied “I could sleep here with Enea” (which is me) AAAAABWEBEB I DIED RIGHT THERE.
Then they all went to sleep. I heard Remus changing next to the couch and then slipping in the covers, not saying a single word (probably because he thought I was asleep, yk, I was a very good actor) and then he just went to sleep as I started to hear his deep breathing after some minutes since he falls asleep so easily. I wanted to do something but I fell asleep like a dumb bitch lol.
But THEN I woke up in the middle of the night and I opened my eyes and, deadass, started staring at him. It was dark but not fully as the windows were open and there was some light outside. He was so beautiful fuck, so pretty I swear. And I got closer. I was staring at him for some minutes till I got some courage (yea sure) and asked if he was asleep. I was very confident just because I was sure he wouldn’t reply buT he did, saying like, “yes I am sleeping, why aren’t you?” and I wanted to act nonchalantly but failed and just told him I wasn’t sleepy. Then he didn’t reply, he just turned over and looked at me. My heart was beating so fast I was like a little girl (I’m a grown ass man) but I didn’t say anything. And lol, he said “you can kiss me if you want” WHATTT. so yea, we kissed. for the second time. and it wassss,, it was cool I mean (my stomach is making flips ah ah ah shut up). And then he made me sleep closer to him, but nothing else happened. In the morning we acted like nothing and didn’t talk about it just like the first time we kissed lol, idk what this means, I’m having so many thoughts about this and not all of them are positive :).
Anyway the rest of the trip was very cool. We stayed for only two nights but it was very fun yet chill. And very relaxing too. It was awesome to skip some school days and just be with them and not think about responsibilities lol.
Some things that happened was that Sirius got catcalled 🧍🏼more than one time, and some of them were even old people, it was so funny tbh we just laughed about it. I also noticed he was very happy overall and I know why, don’t even have to ask him. Him and I grew up in that place and it always feels amazing to be there again, because since we got older we didn’t visit the place as much as we did.
James had lots of fun too, but he always has fun lmaoo so idk. He wanted to visit all the possible places but actually some times he would call us out for being lazy and not walk a lot like him. He told me he wanted to take him back there some day in the winter so that we could ski too.
Peter was actually relaxed and that’s very rare since he’s worrying about things all the time, so I’m glad we did this together and had some chill time. He asked me a lot of question about the house and our memories there, he was very nice.
AHEM maybe I’m writing too much, but nothing much happened, it was mostly this. This experience was so nice, after this I shifted back to cr and I couldn’t go back to my dr and now I changed my destination (I’m going to my waiting room because I just want to chill and relax and not deal with anything) but I miss that place a lot, I’ll shift there again soon maybe in some days or weeks. I’ll let you guys know :)
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skz317cb97 · 1 year
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Kim Seungmin x thick female reader
Word count: 7.5k
Synopsis: After choosing to remain a virgin due to serious body image issues, you find dating as an adult difficult until you meet Kim Seungmin. He seems different and proves to you that not ALL guys are the same. As you let down your walls and let him in, things get more serious between you. When it's time to admit your little secret; how will Seungmin take it? Will he still be there or will he take off like all the others?
A/N: 18+ only! Just... wow. How are we here now? The EIGHTH and final part of this SKZ x Thick Reader Series! This has been a crazy and emotional ride and I'm so glad to have shared it with all of you! Thank you so much for all of your kind words and encouragement during this series! It means more to me than you will ever know! I also appreciate you being patient waiting for this last one! I also appreciate the always amazing @cb97percent for bouncing ideas back and forth with me on this one. Thank you Ren!I REALLY hope you all like it! If you do hit the heart, reblog, send an ask and scream into the void. I always love feed back especially in this series. Again from the bottom of my heart thank you so much! As always warnings and smut below the cut! 🖤
Warnings: MDNI 18+ONLY! Strong language/cursing, dry humping, fingering, unprotected piv sex (please use protection), virgin reader, first time, cream pie. I think that's everything but if I happened to miss something please let me know and I will add it to the warnings asap!
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Being a virgin at your age wasn’t easy. It seemed like it was such an important thing to all the guys you had dated. It was always the same. You would meet a guy; you would go on a few dates and then the topic of sex would come up. You would admit that you were a virgin and that you weren’t ready to have sex and one of a couple of things would happen after that.
They would tell you that was fine and then ghost you, which, was honestly preferable to the other, which was tell you it's fine and then try to ‘conquer’ you. Those were the worst. There were even a couple that were good enough to trick you into thinking they actually cared about you. Once they found out, even with their caring boyfriend routine, that you still weren’t going to have sex with them the charade would be dropped, and they were just like the rest. Prude, fridged, cold. All of these were things you were used to being called time after time. 
Your first and only boyfriend in high school was the closest you had ever gotten to having sex. You had gone over to his house while his parents were out of town for the weekend, and you were making out on his bed.
You told yourself that if he wanted to go all the way, that you would, that you cared for him and you were ready to have sex. So, when his hand slid up your shirt to pull it off, you let him. Things got awkward quickly. You wanted to cover up as soon as you were topless in front of him, but you thought to yourself boys like boobs, he WANTS to see your boobs.
He looked down at you and then suddenly sat up pulling away. He made an excuse about being worried his parents might come home and not wanting to go any further. You were fine with that. You cared about him and you wanted your first time together to be special, not scary. He gave you an uncomfortable kiss goodbye and you went home.  
He avoided you the rest of that weekend and most of the next week. The day you were going to finally confront him a friend of yours overheard him talking to a friend of his.
Apparently, he was telling him about your make out session and taking your top off. He had told him he expected you to look different naked, expected your boobs to look different. You had stretch marks and more belly fat than he thought, and it just turned him off, so he stopped everything.
He didn’t know how to tell you he didn’t want to be with you anymore because of it so he was just ignoring you. You were heartbroken when your friend told you and you never said anything to him again. Your body image wasn’t that great to begin with but that was a major tipping point.  
You decided to focus on work and not relationships the rest of the time you were in high school. You started dating again in college. Again, and again, but none of the guys you dated ever made you feel comfortable enough in your own skin around them to even consider sleeping with them.
You were an adult now and still every guy you dated, once the topic of sex came up it was over, and the topic of sex always came up. That is until you met Kim Seungmin.
A mutual friend, Eve set you guys up, giving each of you the other’s number so that you could kick things off on your own, instead of some middleman doing it for you. Seungmin was actually the first to text you when numbers were exchanged. You were a little surprised because Eve had said he was kind of shy.  
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Well, he was definitely cute. You texted him back. 
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You both texted back and forth like that for quite a while that night. It was just easy to talk to Seungmin for some reason. When you asked if he was okay texting for a bit before going on a date, he was completely fine with it.  
You two texted almost every day for two weeks and nothing remotely sexual had come up in your conversations. Most guys wouldn’t be able to resist sending a dick pic but not Seungmin.
He would text you good morning, send silly selfies, pictures of puppies, and the most savage memes. On more than one occasion you had been glared at by your boss because you laughed so loud at something Seungmin had sent you.
After two weeks you finally asked Seungmin if he wanted to go get coffee sometime. He had mentioned being a coffee fanatic and a coffee date in the day was always a fairly neutral date. No one expects nookie after a coffee date. 
You were so nervous you went thirty minutes early to sit and collect yourself before he got there. You were allowing yourself to be a little hopeful. He seemed nice and funny, and he was cute, and he had yet to mention or make any innuendo about sex yet.
You were surprised to find Seungmin already at the agreed upon coffee shop when you got there, just as nervous as you apparently. You had been talking and cutting up for two weeks over text message but once you were in front of him Seungmin was surprisingly shy.
It took a little coaxing by you. You cracked a couple of jokes and before you knew it you were starting to see glimpses of the man you had been texting. After two cups of coffee, you both were laughing and, just like over text, conversation with Seungmin was easy and just flowed.
Suddenly an hour and half had gone by, and you had to leave but wished it didn’t have to end. Usually you’d be running for the door. You both stood, saying goodbyes and getting ready to leave. Just before you did Seungmin stopped you. 
“Uh, y/n? Can... I mean is it okay if I text you still? I’d really like to take you out again sometime.” You smiled and nodded. 
“Please do! I’d love to go out again. Text me and we’ll figure it out!” Seungmin had a big puppy dog grin on his face when the two of you finally parted ways. You were up the block from the coffee shop when you got a text notification. You opened it and you saw it was from Seungmin.  
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Before you knew it, it was Saturday and time for your picnic with Seungmin. It was perfect honestly. The weather was warm and it was sunny, but a few clouds stuck around to give you a little shade from time to time.
You both sat back and ate at a leisurely pace, then took a walk and talked, getting to know each other better. Family, likes, pet peeves, guilty pleasures. Seungmin grabbed your hand threading your fingers together and held it as you walked.
Your face got warm but you focused and you learned about how he used to play baseball, how wanted to go pro when he grew up but had gone another direction instead, and how he still liked to go to the batting cages sometimes. 
“I would like to see that! I bet you’re really good!” Seungmin’s ears started turning red when you complimented him. 
“Well, we could go for our next date?” Seungmin suggested and you cracked a smile quirking an eyebrow at him. He realized he was being a bit presumptuous. 
“I mean if you want to go on another date with me that is. Obviously, I’m totally fine if you don’t, I can take no for an answ...” You cut off his nervous rambling. 
“Seungmin I definitely want to go on another date with you. The batting cages sounds fun, you’ll have to show me how to do it though, I’ve never played a sport in my life.” Seungmin caught his breath and smiled so big his eyes scrunched into little crescents. 
“I can show you it’s easy, you’ll see.” On your next date you did indeed go to the batting cages. It was another day date which you liked. It just seemed like there was no pressure and you weren’t sure if it was because they were day dates or if it was just Seungmin. You were starting to really like him, allowing yourself to let your guard down a little, to let him in a little.  
You stood outside the batting cage and watched first. The first ball shot out so fast it startled you and you jumped a little. Seungmin absolutely clobbered the ball and then his eyes glanced at you a second to make sure you were okay before the next ball shot out towards him.
He connected with that one perfectly also. A succession of other balls went flying at him and he hit them all with precision. When the machine stopped Seungmin did a little bat trick and smiled at you as he walked over to the gate where you were standing. Your eyes were popping out of your head. 
“There is no way in HELL I’m getting in there.” Seungmin smiled shaking his head as he walked around and ushered you into the cage. 
“They won’t come out that fast for you and I'll give you pointers before we start.” You chewed at your lips nervously. You weren’t lying when you said you never played sports. That would involve you being athletic, and your plump frame was a far cry from that. Seungmin handed you a bat. 
“Are you left or right-handed?” You told him then he showed you where to stand and you got into place. You looked back at him with the most unsure look on your face and he was endeared by it. 
"It's okay. Lift the bat up the way you just saw me, you know the jist of it.” You took your pose lifting the bat up. 
“Okay back arm down and front arm up just a bit.” You made your adjustments or at least attempted to.  
“Feet shoulder with apart and turn a bit to the side...” He walked up behind you, and you couldn’t help but think to yourself, this is gonna be it, this is gonna be the time he pulls something, or tries to cop a feel. Even though Seungmin had given you no reason to think such a thing, it was just, it's what always happened. There had never been an exception. 
“Uh is it okay if I make adjustments?” You nodded and he stood a bit closer. You could feel the warmth from his body, but he didn’t press against you. He leaned forward a bit and wrapped his arms around yours showing you how to grip and pose with the bat. 
“Like this. Yea?” He didn’t invade every inch of your personal space. He didn’t press his hard on against your ass. He positioned your hands, then your arms, then he stepped back a bit and adjusted your hips a little, then backed off. That was it. No groping or fondling. Every touch had a purpose and was quick. No lingering but it still managed to make you blush. 
“Okay I’m gonna go out of here and stand right over there where you were, and you just keep your eye on the ball.” You looked at him still a bit apprehensive. 
“Seungmin... I...” He smiled and winked at you. 
“It’s okay. Don’t worry, remember eye on the ball.” He closed the gate and pressed the start button on the machine. The first ball whizzed out and right past you. You didn’t even swing. Seungmin was right, the ball didn’t come flying out nearly as fast as his had. When the second one came out you swung but missed. The next you chipped, and you were starting to get a bit frustrated.
You fixed your stance like Seungmin had shown you and when the ball came flying out you kept your eye on it and then swung. You connected perfectly and launched it across the batting cage. The machine wound down as you squealed and jumped up and down. Seungmin came back into the cage with you and you grabbed his shoulder still bouncing on your toes. He smiled widely at you.
“Oh my god Seungmin did you see!? I hit it, I actually hit it! You’re such a good baseball coach.” You leaned in and pecked his cheek. He cleared his throat and turned beet red instantly and you suddenly felt like maybe you had crossed a line. You all hadn’t even hugged and you just kissed him. Even if it was just a quick peck on the cheek. 
“Sorry, uh I, I was too excited, I shouldn’t have...” Seungmin shook his head. 
“Oh, um no it’s fine really. You... it just caught me off guard is all.” You were worried you made the situation awkward now. Luckily, he was quick to move on from the sudden PDA. You guys played a few more rounds in the cages and then Seungmin took you to the concession stand for lunch. 
“Hot dog or big pretzel?” You tapped your chin thinking. 
“What are you getting?” Seungmin smiled at you. 
“I’m all about the classics and when you’re at the ballpark you get a ballpark so it’s gonna be a hot dog for me, mustard and relish.” You shook your head and considered your two options like it was the most important choice of your life. 
“If I get a pretzel and let you have a bite, will you let me have a bite of your hot dog?” Seungmin laughed out loud and shook his head. 
“Of course. Cheese or mustard to dip.” You told him your choice and he placed your orders. You both sat at one of the picnic tables there and ate your food, each of you giving the other a bite as promised. When Seungmin walked you to your door that day hand in hand you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face. Right before he left Seungmin leaned in, hugged you and gave you a quick peck on the cheek. 
“See ya y/n.” Your face felt hot. 
“Okay, yea... uh I’ll text you.” Seungmin nodded and all but ran out of there. You saw Seungmin at least three times a week for a month and you texted pretty much every day.
At one-month Seungmin asked if he could take you to dinner for once. You were a little nervous at first. All this time with him had been so great but he said he wanted to talk about something over dinner with you and you were terrified that it was finally going to come up.
Other than the two little pecks you’d given each other there were only a handful of times that a kiss on the cheek may have occurred again. He hugged you goodbye every time you parted ways now and you held hands and huddled close on the couch together when watching movies or k dramas. Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe he wanted more. It had your guts torn up inside with anxiety. 
As you sat at your dinner table, you and Seungmin were both visibly nervous. Finally, after a moment he cleared his throat and broke the silence. 
“So, well I know I told you I wanted to talk to you about something so I’m just gonna come right out with it and I don’t want you to feel pressured or uncomfortable if the answer is no.” Oh god, you thought to yourself, it really is happening. You’re really going to have to have this conversation with Seungmin and you hoped it didn’t ruin everything like it always did. You braced yourself. 
“Will you go out with me?” You scrunched your face up in confusion. 
“Min... I’m going out with you right now, literally we’re on a date RIGHT now.” He shook his head realizing he wasn’t making sense. 
“No no no I mean like... will you be my girlfriend?” You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face and the relief that washed over you. You let down another wall that night and told Seungmin yes.
When he took you home after your date you insisted he didn’t need to walk you up, but he insisted that a gentleman makes sure to see a lady to the door safely in the evening. When you got to your door you faced Seungmin and fiddled with your keys a little. 
“Thank you for dinner Min and for walking me up.” You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and gave him a good night hug. When Seungmin pulled back, his hand cupped your cheek, he leaned down and softly pressed his lips to yours. It lingered but there was no tongue or anything, just lips gently slotted together, eyes closed so tightly. It was sweet and not at all a prelude to anything else. Just your first good night kiss. 
After that there were day dates, dinner dates, movie dates, all day outings, even an accidental sleep over or two when movie nights ran a little late and you both crashed on the couch before the end.
Six months went by before you knew it and you already didn’t remember what life was like before you had Seungmin. During all of that time, you cuddled and kissed and there was even one fairly heated make out session that had been embarrassingly interrupted by one of Seungmin’s roommates.  
That was all that had happened though and at first you were thankful that sex wasn’t coming up because then you didn’t have to have that awkward conversation with Seungmin. The ‘I’m a virgin because I hate my own body so much, I’m positive no one could love it or love me’ conversation.
After a while though you started to wonder if maybe it wasn’t coming up because he didn’t find you attractive. Maybe he didn’t have the heart to tell you he wasn’t interested, so he was just dragging it out. The thought made your chest tight because you really really liked Seungmin. In fact, you were pretty sure you were in love with him. 
You were coming up on seven months and Seungmin had seemed especially distant that week, which only gave you time to concoct the worst scenarios in your head. At the end of the longest week of your life, Seungmin called you and you answered quickly. 
“Hey baby! Work has been hell this week, I’m so sorry we haven’t gotten much time to ourselves.” He sounded genuine. 
“It’s okay Minnie” He hummed on the other line. 
“Mmmm no I think we need a special night out, wine and dine. To make up for this week. Put on your nicest dress and be ready by seven beautiful.” You couldn’t help but laugh. 
“Min...” He just cut you off before you could say anything else. 
“Seven! See you in a bit!” He hung up and you shook your head smiling as you got up to shower and get ready. You dug out a green cocktail dress you’d had tucked away until an occasion to wear it arose. Why not tonight, you thought to yourself. You left your hair down and let it air dry naturally after your shower. You put a little make up on, enough to have a glow and you were ready. 
Seungmin showed up at seven on the dot. It was one of the things you really liked about him, if he said he was going to be somewhere at a certain time he was. He was dependable. When you answered your door, you were met by Seungmin in a black slim fit suit and a thin black tie, his hair parted and pushed back away from his face a bit the way you liked it. You had thought he was handsome from the first picture he’d sent you but right then in that suit he was devastating.  
When Seungmin saw you open the door in that green dress his jaw dropped. The fabric criss crossed in the front making the neckline of the dress rather low, lower than anything Seungmin had ever seen you in, it had long sheer sleeves that were slightly belled and matched the sheer layer that covered the thigh length flowy skirt. It was like you were glowing. You looked almost ethereal; you took his breath away.  
“You look great Minnie!” You smoothed the lapel of his coat and he snapped out of it. 
“Me? Look at you! How lucky am I to have YOU as my girlfriend. An absolute goddess.” You could feel your face heat up. 
“Min... Stooop.” He smiled, leaned in and kissed your cheek. 
“Well it’s true. Are you ready for dinner?” You nodded excited for whatever he had planned for the two of you.
Seungmin was always a gentleman, but this night he made sure to open every door, help you in and out of the car and pull your seat out at the restaurant.
You talked over dinner and the worries you’d had early dissolved from your brain as you laughed at Seungmin being very animated as he was telling a story about his week. You knew then for sure; you were absolutely in love with Seungmin. 
“I love you.” You just kind of blurted it out. Seungmin sat there shocked for a minute, totally silent. You didn’t know what to say next but finally Seungmin spoke. 
“You love me?” You nodded. 
“Yes.” He pressed his lips together, a serious look on his face. 
“You’re sure?” Tears were welling up in your eyes and you nodded again answering him immediately. 
“Yes.” Seungmin reached over and grabbed your hand on the table. He ran his fingers over the back of it the way he did whenever he needed to calm you. 
“It’s okay, don’t be upset.” You took a deep breath and tried to stop the flow of tears you felt coming. 
“I love you too y/n.” Your eyes met Seungmin’s and the tears you had almost fended off, spilled over, tracing down your cheeks. 
“Really?” After everything you still couldn’t believe someone as amazing as Seungmin could actually love you. Maybe this part of you, what he saw, but would he still love you after he saw it all? That thought terrified you. 
“Yes y/n yes. I love you so much. You are so important to me.” He wiped a tear off of your face and kissed the back of your hand he was still holding. You laughed at yourself crying and wiped the rest of your tears.  
“How about I pay the bill and we get out of here?” You nodded and Seungmin stood and walked over to pull out your chair. When you stood, he leaned in and gave you a kiss on the cheek.  
“Here’s the keys, I’ll be right out.” You grabbed them and headed for the exit while he went to pay.
When you got in the car you leaned over, put the keys in the ignition and started it. You started turning through the radio trying to find a good station. It wasn’t long before Seungmin was out, and you were off.
You leaned back in your seat and watched Seungmin driving, the streetlights flashing across his face as they raced past. He glanced over at you and smiled when he saw the dreamy look on your face as you watched him. 
“Do... uh... do you want to come back to mine for a bit?” You smiled and chewed at your lip a little. 
“Yea, of course.” The rest of the car ride felt like a comfortable silence had fallen over it. Seungmin’s eyes on the road, yours watching the world pass by the side window, stolen glances here and there. 
In reality you and Seungmin were both freaking out inside about what you wanted, needed, to tell the other and just doing a very good job at hiding it.  
When you got to Seungmin’s place you kicked off your heels by the door and walked over to the couch. You sat down, pulling your feet up under you. You did it just like you were home and Seungmin loved seeing that you were that comfortable there with him.
He walked over and sat down next to you. His ears were already red as he tried to will himself to look at you. When he finally did he immediately cupped your face and kissed you.  
You leaned into the kiss and your hands slid up Seungmin’s shoulders and rested on the back of his neck. He deepened the kiss gently sliding his tongue into your mouth as he pulled you onto his lap.
When he had one of each of your thick thighs on either side of him, he started to get nervous but didn’t want to stop kissing you, his hands found their way to your soft hips and rested there. You were nervous too but being there with Seungmin, you knew what you wanted.
He started to drag his lips across your neck, and you thread your fingers through his hair. You gently tugged when he started to softly suck on the spot by your ear and Seungmin moaned against your skin. 
Suddenly the idea of Seungmin undressing you flashed through your head. You put your hands against his shoulders and pressed gently signaling him to stop. He pulled away and looked at you worried he’d done something you didn’t like. 
“Min, I... I have to tell you something.” You climbed off his lap and sat next to him again. You picked at your fingernails unsure of what exactly to say.  
“Min... I want to be with you, but I... I’m... a... virgin.” Seungmin started laughing almost immediately. He just couldn’t believe you were actually confessing exactly what he was going to confess.
Needless to say, hysterical laughter was not the reaction you were looking for or expecting. Your brow furrowed and you glared at him, your feelings were hurt. 
“It’s NOT funny Seungmin! I’ve hated myself so much for so long! I can’t see how anyone would want to be with me! Want to see my body.” You shouted as tears welled up in your eyes and Seungmin stopped laughing instantly. 
“Do you have any idea what it feels like to KNOW that even if I want to sleep with you, I KNOW if you see me naked you won’t want to be with me anymore! That you are going to be disgusted and leave me.” Seungmin looked horrified by your words. He shook his head; his hands cradled your face and made you look at him. 
“Hey no. No! I’m sorry laughing was a knee jerk reaction, but I promise not for any of the reasons you may think. Y/n... I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. You’re also the kindest, and funniest. I planned this whole night for us tonight because I was going to tell you that I’m in love with you and then you beat me to the punch at dinner.” You sniffled and smiled a little. 
“There was something else I needed to tell you though. y/n, I’m a virgin too.” Your jaw dropped. There was no way. He was just saying it to try and make you feel better or something. Then you thought about all of it. How he was fine taking everything so slow, how he was shy about PDA, why he didn’t act like every other jerk you had dated. No wonder Eve had said you were perfect for each other! 
“But... why? Look at you. You could have anyone you want.” Seungmin ran his thumb along your jaw. 
“I didn’t want just anyone, I wanted to be with someone I love, and I’ve never loved someone before you.” You leaned into Seungmin’s touch and closed your eyes. 
“I love you so much y/n. I want to be with you, touch you, see you.” He pushed your hair away from your face looking at every inch of it, taking in just how beautiful you really were. Your heart rate picked up, you really did want to be with Seungmin too, but you were so scared. 
“If you want to, if you’re not ready baby we can wait. I want you to be comfortable, I want you to be sure.” You fought back the urge to cry again. 
“I want to Min; I do but I don’t know if I can be naked in front of you. I just...” Your voice trembled. 
“Hey. You don’t have to, okay? Look y/n I KNOW that under these clothes is a beautiful woman okay? I have no doubt, but if you would be more comfortable, we can go in the bedroom and we could turn the lights off if you want. You don’t have to take off or do anything you don‘t want to baby. I want you to feel comfortable, confident so whatever helps you, just tell me. Or we can wait it’s okay if you’re still not ready y/n.” You were scared but you didn’t want him to doubt how much you really wanted him.
You wrapped your arms around Seungmin’s neck and kissed him as you crawled back on his lap. You pressed yourself into him and started to slowly grind your hips into his, pressing against him. 
“Is this okay? Tell me if it’s not okay.” Your voice was breathy and your words came out between the kisses you placed on Seungmin’s lips, then down his jaw and neck. He let out a long breath and relaxed back tilting his head so you could reach your target more easily. 
“Don’t stop, I want you... I want you so bad.” His hands gripped your full hips and urged you to continue grinding against him as he got harder.  
“Feels so good. God, I love you so much y/n you’re so beautiful.” You wrapped your arms around Seungmin’s shoulders and rested your forehead in the crook of his neck panting as you focused on chasing that feeling that was growing inside you. You never felt it before but you knew what was happening, what was close. 
“Oh god Min, I...I’muh... I’m gonna cum.” Seungmin wrapped his arms around you pulling you in so your chests were pressed together, his lips claiming yours, his tongue invading your mouth as he nodded. Your lips parted and he pressed his forehead to yours as you rode him faster, pressing your throbbing core against his hard on firmer. 
“Wanna, make you feel good, beautiful. Keep going.” You rubbed yourself against him again and the friction from Seungmin’s dick pressing the seam of his pants against your clit sent you teetering over into your orgasm. It was like being electrocuted. You went numb and kind of ridged. 
“Oh yes... fuck... Min oh my god.” Seungmin continued rocking you back and forth against him. 
“Don’t... don’t sstop... gonna... gonna cum.” Seungmin panted. You didn’t stop as you continued rubbing yourself against him riding the feeling that was buzzing between your legs as long as possible. Seungmin’s hips jerked up as he started coming in his boxers. 
“Oh fu... y/n god I...fuck!” You slowed down and then stopped as both of you leaned against each other, trying to catch your breath and collect yourselves post orgasm. You leaned back and Seungmin cupped your face and pulled you into another kiss.  
“I... if you want to go to my room, I just uh, have to get cleaned up a little really quick. You can grab some of my clothes and change out of your dress into something more comfortable while I do.” You smiled, took your bottom lip between your teeth and nodded.  
When you got to Seungmin’s room you pulled out an oversized t-shirt of his. You got out of your dress and changed into it. You considered grabbing some sweats, but the shirt was long enough to cover your ass, so you stayed in the shirt and your panties only.
You turned the overhead light off once you had gotten changed. There were some small twinkle lights draped down the wall across the room from the bed. You turned them on, so it wasn’t pitch black, but they did little to illuminate the room which was just fine by you.
You sat on the edge of Seungmin’s bed as you waited for him like it was foreign territory, as if you didn’t lay there and watch movies together regularly. 
When Seungmin walked in it took his eyes a second to get used to the dark. Once they did and he saw you at the edge of his bed in only his t-shirt, his mouth ran dry. He walked over slowly like he was approaching a spooked puppy and sat next to you on the bed. He grabbed one of your hands and kissed it before placing it against his cheek. You ran your thumb across and Seungmin closed his eyes. 
“You're so handsome.” Seungmin’s eyes opened again and this time you were inspecting every part of his perfect face. You leaned in and kissed him and Seungmin hungrily kissed you back.  
“I love you so much y/n.” His words were whispers against your lips. You slid back and laid down on his bed. Your chest rising and falling rapidly, your heart felt like it was beating out of your ribs.
Seungmin’s hand rested on one of your plush thighs and squeezed before it trailed up over your hip. He climbed towards you and his hand continued up, raising your shirt as his hand traveled underneath. Your breathing hitched in your throat and you stopped him. 
“Can... Can we leave it on this time? Please?” Seungmin nodded. 
“Of course, baby whatever you want to do okay. Just tell me, you don’t have to ask. Do you only want me to touch you over the shirt too?” You shook your head no. 
“No, I want you to touch me Minnie, just...” Seungmin leaned down and kissed you softly. 
“I won’t look anywhere you don’t want me to.” You relaxed a bit and Seungmin started kissing and grazing his teeth across your neck. His hand went up your shirt and grabbed one of your full breasts as he sucked on that same spot by your ear from before.
You arched your back into his touch as he continued his assault on your neck rolling your nipple between two fingers and then caressing the other. Seungmin sat up and pulled his shirt off before kissing your lips again. Your hands ran over his shoulders and you felt his smooth skin under your fingers.
His hand made its way down your soft supple body until he cupped your pussy over your panties, pressing his middle finger against your slit. Seungmin could feel the wet spot and you moaned out at the slight pressure applied to your clit over your panties. 
“Does that feel good?” You nodded quickly as your hips canted up, chasing more friction. Seungmin pressed more firmly and ran his finger up and down. 
“Fuck, Min touch me, please.” Seungmin slid your panties to the side and ran his fingers up and down your glistening folds collecting your juices and stopping when his finger rubbed over your clit, making you jump a little. 
“Right there baby? Is it good right there?” Seungmin gently circled his fingers around the spot that made you jump and your body felt like it was on fire. The feeling of someone else touching you, making you feel so good, was almost overwhelming. 
“Press a little harder, a bit faster, yes oh fuck Min.” Seungmin listened to your instructions and watched as you started to writhe under his touch. Seungmin’s fingers dipped back down and found your entrance but he only gathered more of your arousal and then focused on rubbing your clit again. He kissed and gently sucked on your neck as he played with your clit. You melted on his fingers as your world exploded behind your eyes. 
“Oh my god Seungmin, I... I’m... I’m coming Min. Oh god.” Before the dry humping session in the living room, you had never even had an orgasm but this one made that pale in comparison. Your body buzzed as Seungmin’s fingers softly played with you easing your through your climax.
You grabbed his hand when you started getting overstimulated stopping him but not pulling his hand away from you. 
“Holy shit! Oh... wow. Oh, oh my god Min.” Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath, as you tried to rewire your brain to function again. Seungmin laid to the side, his hand gently resting over your panties again. When you were back to your senses you pulled Seungmin into a soft kiss as you pushed his fingers toward your entrance. 
“Go slow.” You urged as Seungmin pushed your panties aside again and slid one finger inside you. It was definitely a new sensation, but it didn’t hurt. 
“Is it okay?” He looked concerned; he really didn’t like the idea of hurting you in any capacity, but you nodded. 
“Yea Min it’s okay, keep going.” He pumped the one finger inside you a few times and then pulled out and slowly slid in two. This time there was a little discomfort. You scrunched your face a little but it wasn’t painful. He watched your expression carefully as he started sliding his fingers deeper inside you. 
“You’re so wet. It doesn’t hurt does it baby?” You shook your head as he pushed his two fingers in and out of your hole a little faster, a little deeper. 
“Doesn’t hurt Minnie. Just... feels... funny.” He fingered you open like that for a little while as he made out with you, his tongue invading your mouth as his fingers did your cunt. 
“Seungmin, please, I want you inside me.” A wave of euphoria washed over his brain hearing you say that to him. You whimpered when he removed his fingers but quickly realized it was to take off his pants, his underwear already discarded after coming in them earlier.
You slid your panties down your legs and pulled the shirt down a bit, still scared of Seungmin seeing you but wanting to be with him just a little more. He was about to climb next to you again but stopped first. 
“Oh uh, I should probably grab a condom huh.” He turned to go to his dresser where he had bought a box especially for that night but you cleared your throat and stopped him. 
“Oh well, um, I mean we’ve both never...” Seungmin stopped and turned back looking at you sitting up in his bed, in his shirt, your thick thighs pressed together shyly. 
“I’m on birth control so, if you don’t want to...” Seungmin walked back over to you. He looked down at you and held your face. His hard cock was right in front of you. 
“Are you sure baby?” You wrapped your fingers around Seungmin’s dick and slowly started stroking it. His eyes closed and his breathing started to come out more labored as you moved your hand faster.
"Yes Minnie, I’m sure, please. I need you.” You let go of his dick as he guided you to lay back. He positioned himself between your thighs, propped over you as he lined his cock up with your soaked pussy.
He slid the tip back and forth a bit to make sure he was positioned right. He REALLY didn’t want to hurt you. He slowly started to push his cock inside you.
If you had thought his fingers felt foreign you didn’t know what to call this sensation. Even with the foreplay and prepping it still stung as he pushed his dick in deeper. A particularly sharp pain hit and you winced. 
“S-slow slow Min.” He nodded. He was going to go very slow, which was hard to do. Once he felt the velvety walls of your pussy wrapped around his cock raw, all he wanted to do was push inside you fully.
He reached down with one hand and rubbed your clit again as he continued to sink into you deeper and deeper. It helped you to relax a little and once your hips were flush together Seungmin let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. 
“Fuck! Baby I don’t know if I’m gonna last long.” You nodded and wrapped your arms around Seungmin’s shoulders. 
“It’s okay Seungmin. I want to make you feel good. Want to make you cum.” Seungmin’s head fell into the crook of your neck and shoulder, and he started to pull out a little and push back in, each time pulling out a little more than the last.
When you finally stopped wincing when he pushed in, Seungmin was able get a rhythm going. It didn’t sting anymore but it still felt strange. Seeing Seungmin losing himself on top of you was definitely doing something for you though. 
“Is it good Minnie?” He nodded his head quickly. 
“GOD YES! FUCK! You feel so fucking good baby!” His pace quickened and he added a little force behind his thrusts as his orgasm approached. 
“Oh god wanna make you feel good Min, want you to cum! Please cum for me!” Seungmin thought he had a couple of strokes left before his climax but when you begged him to cum his body immediately reacted to your command. 
"OH FUCK! GOD Y/N I... I’M COMING FUCK!” His warm load filled your pussy and seeped out as he continued fucking you through his orgasm. When Seungmin’s cock started getting soft inside you he pulled out and you winced from the sensation of being empty again, that was, aside from the cum that was leaking from your hole.
Seungmin collapsed on you right after, his body weight pressing into you. He was crushing you a bit but it felt good, it made you feel safe for some reason. He started peppering soft kisses on your face and neck as he came back around from his explosive orgasm. 
“I love you; I love you.” He said in between kisses. 
“Thank you for trusting me with your body.” He kissed you again and you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty when he said that. 
“But... I didn’t Min. I’m sorry I should be able to let you see me, all of me but...” He kissed your lips silencing you. 
“No. You just gave yourself to me so yes, you did trust me. I hope one day you realize how beautiful every piece of you is. Until then I’m going to tell you every chance I get and if one day you feel comfortable enough to take the shirt off then that’s great.” You looked away biting your lips. 
“Hey, but! But if you don’t that’s okay too baby. Alright? Why don’t you go shower and get cleaned up first and I’ll go after. Then we can get some sleep.”  You stood up getting ready to head towards the bathroom and stopped. 
“Would you be interested in a candlelit shower with me?” You asked a little quietly. 
“I’d love that baby, if you’re sure.” You nodded and Seungmin stood, following you to the bathroom. You set the water temperature, undressed, and got in the shower as Seungmin lit a couple of candles and then joined you.
Your back was to him and he wrapped his arms around you, the warm water cascading down the both of you. Seungmin helped you get washed up and then let you get out first to get wrapped up in a towel while he washed up quickly.
When you were both back in the bedroom Seungmin gave you another clean shirt to wear and slid a pair of sweatpants on before hopping in bed and pulling the comforter back for you to join. You climbed in and Seungmin wrapped you in his arms. You laid against his chest and you both started to drift off to sleep.
Just over half a year before you had been strangers, two virgins for two totally different reasons, trying to find the right person. Somehow through luck and a good friend, you happened to find each other. One completed the other and that was your tale of two cheonyeo. 
Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!
@caroline-ds-world @jquellen27 @chansynie @ughbehavior @hyunelixies @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny
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tristayranambrosio · 2 months
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"Flirt/Casualty" Day 1 - February 18 DWC
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(This short story is told from the perspective of a former band Mate and how Trist and He met. You know before Trist was all Star-Void-Elfy. Enjoy <3: Note that its a little steamy and about a very tormented Orc who struggled very much with being himself until my Bard stumbled into his life) I nurse the sour ale in my tankard, I despise the flavor and would much prefer the tang of citrus and sweet mixed with some honey wine that I see the softer fellows in this den can be seen enjoying. Not me… no I have to sit and watch as the Crimson Curtain comes to life at the arrival of its star lutist. He is like a feast for my starving eyes, and I imagine if it was his lips I drank from… even this piss-water would taste like bliss. Instead I see him lean over a table and flirt with one of the affluent patrons and my tankard groans in protest under my white knuckled grip. Luckily for me an Orc bitterly suffering through the sorry excuse for a drink and scowling at this brazen display of flamboyant softness isn’t out of place here. In truth I crave the comfort of its magnificent colors, and the beautiful staff… I want to drink their sweet scents, roses and citrus… to bathe in them to bask in the relief it’d be just to live in their embroidered silks, rather than the oppressive Leather plates and spikes the Chief insists I have to wear to attract the attention of some she-orc to bear my sons. I snarl into my tankard and take a long furious gulp and attempt to swallow it with the revolting thought of using some poor female like that… knowing my mind would wander back to the laughing eyes of the Rose scented lead that has started in flirting with a fellow across the bar from me… Seeing how the soft beauty of an elf lightly squeezing the other Mercenary's arm and admiring the build sends my blood on fire and I briefly contemplate making the bastard another casualty of my fuming jealousy… No one else should be allowed to touch my Rose… none of them are good enough… fel neither am I… And yet… I flash back to the bright curtains while he grips them as tightly as I do my tankard. I imagine him screaming my name under my palm as I make him stifle it lest his boss hear what I’m taking from him… I imagine how it’d feel to pull his hair until he was panting and spent just so I could kiss his shoulder and tell him everything. That I’d never wanted someone as badly as I did him… I’d had my share of elven males, loved their tender perfect bodies for the pleasures they were to touch, this one though, he haunted me ever since I heard him sing… play… on Nestor’s old wine stained stage. He laughs again at something the jackass across from me says and I’m out of my Stool and about to storm over and yank my Rose away from this-this-... I halt when the Bard meets my eyes, struck with an overwhelming sense of terror, rage, and desire, with no idea which of those is reflected in my eyes. He’s unafraid, meeting me stare for stare, only in his Light Pink eyes I see… amusement, he’s not intimidated by the growl that I didn’t even realize was escaping me. “Easy, big guy, if you’re looking for a fight I’ll oblige, but Nestor told me you wanted to meet.” He extended a hand smiling… at -me- and I feel my face twist with glee and fury with a focus, that Bastard Busybody Ring-master I will kill him, “I’m Trist’Ayran Ambrosio, a pleasure-”
The way his tongue rolls over the last word has my body at attention and my nostrils flare… my anger at the meddling Cabaret Director temporarily dispelled as I’m being offered a hand I’d imagined on every part of me and I am once again glad that armor and leather doesn’t have much give as a rule and my state isn’t betrayed to be what it was, fixated entirely on this little Rose’s hands… eyes… lips… I grunt and force down my thoughts of how I’d like to hear him speak around parts of me I’ve only ever shared with soft sweet males like him… He waits patiently, his hand held out to what he must see as a brute of few words and even fewer kind ones. I make a show of crossing my arms and sneering at the Cabaret and despite loving every inch of it growl, “Did the Fop? Figures he’d send the Tavern Flirt at me. I’m -not- interested.” My body revolts and rails against my statement, the lie it was… I wasn’t just interested, I was obsessed… I had been for weeks… months… Trist withdrew his hand smoothly as if I’d not just looked at him with the well practiced disdain I leveled all openly true people with, and he smiled, “No one’s twisting your arm, big guy, not that I could… but you play?” I huff and keep my mask on firmly, indifference, disinterest, annoyance… even when within I yearn BURN to feel him -in- my arms… “Drums.”
Trist beams… and my heart slams so hard within my ribs I swear I feel it trying to burst from me into this Bard’s hands, like it was trying to escape, fly to him from the moment I heard his voice, then saw his face… Rose Quartz eyes and the most magnificent Autumn Maple hair that framed his perfect features in waves and curls that smelled like the Roses that haunted my senses ever since. “Well I’d love to see what you’ve got for me, Big Guy, but it’d be nice if you could give me a name… Otherwise you’re just gonna be some generic ‘big guy’ and if you’re joining up… well I’d like to be able to introduce you as you…” Oh what I could show him… what I had for him was a lust so intense it was making my blood power anything but my mind, and again I delayed my reply assailed with the image of showing just what I had for him… and hearing him say my name, “Jezza” My voice is a growl that I hope is intimidating and not giving away where my thoughts had gone… I needed to get a hold of myself… have this damned bard, and then put him from my mind forever. It wasn’t healthy, and if I can’t repress this need… this weakness for him and what he awoke in me, I was never going to be able to face my Tribe. It was not as if I could sire on him… but, Ancestors help me, my body certainly seemed to wanna give that a go with the urge building in me by the moment, not to mention the restless nights that showed my supposed lack of interest or virility with proposed brides was simply a product of them not being this soft bard… Get it over with, get him out of your head… this is not normal. “Jezza.” My breath stopped. My heart seized… say it again… I willed him. “Jezza…” He tasted my name testing the sound on that damnable tongue, “Handsome name for a Handsome Brute.”
He was- “Are you MOCKING me runt?” I nearly roar. “Nah. Just flirting. Lets see what you got.” With that he sauntered up… and tucked a pair of Drumsticks under my belt… and I could swear he did it to glance under the hem of my leathers… but I was too distracted by the proximity… how he somehow smelled even better than I imagined, and how my eyes nearly rolled back in their skull knowing just how close he was to me. It was over too soon. He pulled away and swatted my hip, “You coming?” The bard brandished his lute as he sauntered to the stage tilting his head to the Drum set in the back, but I was almost rooted to the floor. Staring at this brazen… cocky… magnificent -thing- that I was going to -make- mine. I rumble and to myself, “Not yet… but you’ll see to that soon.” I stormed up to the stage all bravado and seething outrage… but I play… and Oh… I bask in the first time my Rose really sees me and feels me in the beat. The novelty will get stale… and my Life will start and I’ll leave all this behind. Maybe after a few more songs. 
@daily-writing-challenge
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I wish I was dead.
I'm in tears and trying to write this while my eyes are blurry, please excuse any blunders or mistakes. I'm just so tired, and I've had such an awful day today that I can't stop crying.
My mom asked me if I went mad today, and I wanted to scream in her face that I was - living with a family like mine, it wouldn't be a surprise if I did. I think I'd be frankly shocked if I wasn't diagnosed with at least 20 disorders. I don't want to be a part of this family anymore. Millions of families out there and I had to end up in this one.
I hate my father. I hope he dies quickly. He's an a overachiever and one of those idiots who believes that 'you never stop learning' and wants me to die trying to get into an IIT instead of being happy. Maybe he'll understand that I can't get into an IIT if I'm dead. Or maybe he'll make my corpse solve physics problems and listen to his 'focus, work hard' lectures.
My mother won't stop trying to convince me that my dreams of becoming a writer will not work out because the pay is bad. I don't care about money or big houses or a family - I'm OK with a small apartment and living alone, paycheck to paycheck. I get it, you don't want me to be a writer. Fuck off.
I've been copying in school tests because I don't think I'm smart enough to get anything. I hate what I'm studying, I can't see why it will even matter in my life and I have to compete with so many people that studying has long since become a chore than something I enjoy.
I can't stop crying nowadays. It takes a little bit of emotion and tears begin to well up in my eyes. I miss being happy and young and carefree. I don't want to be a top engineer, I want to be happy and alive. I just can't see my life anymore - I only see a dark void when I try and imagine past tomorrow.
I'm happy no one will see this. At least no one will feel bad when I'm gone.
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minhosimthings · 1 month
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When I say he sings to your belly at night
I can just imagine heeseung coming home after a whole day of hectic work and he finds you smiling at the tv screen because you keep watching videos of little babies (you're just so excited to see the little lee 💔)
ngl all his worries wash away as he looks at you. hee comes over and pecks your cheek and sits down on the floor and you think he's gonna talk to his baby like he does everyday, but instead he starts singing 'love wins all' as he looks at you with literally the sparkliest loveliest eyes ever. he has his palms against your tummy. he means everything he's saying and as soon as he gets to the chorus you feel your baby kick. his eyes widen but he continues to sing and your baby is excited cuz mama and papa in love and papa has the best voice ever!!! heeseung will actually shed tears later because that was literally one of the best moments of his life.
I want him to put a baby in me and be domestic asf with me i will give him whatever he wants
Kayz
Baby
My dearest
you just wrote the most heart clenching shit ever
AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE OK?
LIKE YOU JUST DID THAT FKKDIEIEBSBSJAJJW
Excuse me while I sob and scream into the void because I am dead goodbye world arrest Kayz for her crimes against my uterus right now
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Can I request a fem!reader comforting Atsushi when he's feeling lime a monster? Please???
This took a little longer to put up, mostly cuz I got sidetracked but better late than never-
Note: might need a little editing
TW// Just sad thoughts
word count: 900
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Kindness was something only afforded to the well-off, those who had a future, and those who had a choice. 
Atsushi was neither.
A boy born alone was destined to die alone and lay beside souls akin to his. That was the only thing that he was granted at birth. At first he had no demands, no autonomy and no desire for it either. In a way he was content; in the sense that he felt such depths of despair that he knew there would never be anything better awaiting him. 
No matter how many tears he would shed while in that deplorable excuse for an orphanage, he only chose to blame himself for ever being born. He could never ask to receive a sliver of kindness, not as long as he was who he was;
a monster. 
Such thoughts left a mixture bittersweet tastes on his tongue, one in which he writhed in. When it settled in his mouth, refusing to leave, he took it as another punishment he deserved for being born.  
How someone could love something as pathetic as him was a joke that even the lowest of scums would have dying in a fit of laughter. 
No matter how long it had been since he left that damned orpahnage, regardless of how many people he had found who showed him love and kindness, regardless of intent, he could never push aside his resentment for himself. 
He was born a monster, not a boy. At least if he were, he would be afforded that tiny grace. Instead, Atsushi would be damned for his entire life for being born as something that brought ruin and danger.
Constantly did he run a race against himself. Not only was he his own victim, but the monster that desired only his blood. A never-ending cycle; stretching on until the day he stops regenerating his limbs and elongating his own suffering.
He never asked for an ability that would bring destruction to everything and everyone nearby, including himself. It was the reason he wasn’t afforded even human decency. It was why no one dared to glance in his direction, yet eyes would continue to haunt him, watching him intently with judgment and the desire to watch him perish.
Sometimes all he wanted was to scream into a void of nothing,
 “I never asked for this-!”
Again and again and again until his voice would give in and he would have nothing left of himself.
How long had it been since he grew to think of such horrid thoughts?
Did he ever love himself?
It was almost as if his memories were a barricade of what the world told him to remember. The torment, the suffering, the loathing. Lest he ever love himself or that beast that took respite inside him. Where were those memories of peace and comfort? He wasn’t sure they ever existed; but if they did, he so desperately wanted them back.
To change was all he could do now. It wasn’t too late was it?
Even if the world wanted him dead, he wanted to fight for a reason to exist. Even if he felt his thoughts slowly comply to the orders of the world, he would fight with himself for the sake of them, for her. 
They say that only fools are satisfied, and he was no fool to give in so easily, not yet at least. Not as long as he basked in her brilliant grace which bubbled his heart away from the disgruntled waves that came to wash him away.
“Your ability is a grace my love, a grace made to protect you in the world. A gift only granted to you because only you can make peace with it.”
Her words rang out, a symphony awaking him from a self-induced trance. Her embrace assuring him that he had not yet departed from this world yet, and neither would he have to. 
“You belong in this world, should you choose to believe it or not. Even if you deny its validity, know that you’ll always have a spot next to me.”
Was he awake?
How long had he been trapped inside his mind? 
It didn’t really matter, not when those thoughts were as fickle and fictitious as the painted shadows he cast on those he was scared to touch. Once again, he chose to flip the page, one darkened by his mind, and carry on. Swinging her hand from side to side, he walked beside her, the shadows that trailed after him all burnt up and dried somewhere far behind him, to a destination unknown. 
No matter how many times he fell to his thoughts, and his memories, and trapped himself in the depths of his mind, exactly where the beast could degrade his status as a person, she always found a way through that maze right to him.
In the end, he knew that one day both of them would rot away like fallen leaves, but regardless, all he desired was to live on frantically.
Shouldering their lives together, 
Living on,
Even if he was hated by life itself.
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acatinafancyhat · 9 months
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Watched Chess Netherlands today because... well, I can 🙃 It was surprisingly not all horrible. Definitely flawed and problematic but it had some parts I really liked! Of course I had lots of thoughts again so here is me venting them. 99% sure no one else cares about Dutch Chess but what the hell, tumblr is for screaming into the void right? ✨️
Act I
- You can instantly tell this is a Dutch production because the championships take place in what looks like a school gym. I mean we do our rubiks cube tournaments there. Is fine for chess, no?
- Explaining chess to the audience bc that's what the show is really missing
- Many Svenska Vibes
- Anatoly with an i is the most Dutch Soviet Russian i've ever met. Just, no nonsense. 'go take care of my children woman.' Calling each other names is how we show affection <3
- I will say the boys (Anatoli's kids) playing chess during the opening is a nice touch
- Story of Chess also has very to the point lyrics. "chess requires reticence so u don't kill each other" see now this actually sets up the show real well :)
- Awkward humor no one laughs at ✅️
- Anatoli's kind of a downer
- Freddie's sort of charming but his relationship with Florence is gonna be garbage i can tell
- strike 1: ableism
- (honestly he just reminds me of every Dutch white guy on tv)
- strike 2: assault
- Florence is already so done with his shit good for her
- also "with me there, he is brilliant" tru tru
- Singing Nobody's Side while random people have a lil party behind her?
- oh it's an excuse for karaoke ONIB
-Are they really gonna do the whole song though do we really need that
-lol Freddie pushes karaoke guy off stage so he can finish the song. honey this is a little early in the show to be getting this drunk what are you doing she hasn't even left you yet
- Arbiter leads morning exercise... ok well why not
- No dancing during the chess game. It's cool we can just watch two guys play chess from a distance for a couple minutes. Fun times.
- Freddie sticks his gum under the table real subtle like he hasn't got multiple cameras pointed at him right now
- Actually on second thought i think the chess game might be better without the dancing. Characters are doing interesting things. The contrast between Anatoli sitting stiffly at the table while Freddie is prancing around fistfighting the cameras is Most Amusing :)
- Did he just try to make Anatoli's move for him omg 🤣
- Freddie @ arbiter "uh it might be time u keep things under control around here" and off he runs HE'S SUCH A LITTLE SHIT ngl i kinda love him here
- However Florence's defense of him just seems completely unreasonable considering toli literally just. sat there. the whole time.
- Anatolyi gets the 'i'm ridiculous' monologue like in Svenska
- 'Hey my people killed your people oops now let me sing a song in the language you probably don't remember and it's somehow romantic and not creepy or overstepping any boundaries at all :)'
- Running away from Molokov in a shittier version of Svenska. Meh. But again they are aware of the lack of embassies in and around Merano which I do appreciate bc i'm pedantic like that
- Freddie: hey what's she doing with that Russian
Freddie: hmmm idk
Freddie: they're definitely talking abt me tho 🤨
- Flo & toli have a healthy conversation about the fact that he just left his kids behind i support that!!
- However this timing/setting for Anthem sucks. He's just singing it to Florence. And it's literally about how he misses his family? Weak. This needs to be an epic declaration of love for his homeland to all the world not whining to your girlfriend. Ugh can't believe they fucking ruined Anthem!
- So far all of this strikes me as discount Svenska but without the investment in Flonatoly and the only thing it's really got going for it is a handful of good lines BUT we'll see about act 2...
Act II
- Why the fuck would you start your second act with Merchandisers?
- Nice audience interaction though, it doesn't completely not work
- But following it up with Heaven Help My Heart is hmmmmmm really not ideal pacing-wise.
- Freddie's woman verse is even more cringe in Dutch i can't accurately translate it but it's so..... yikes..... The word he uses instead of "woman" ("popje") literally means "little doll/puppet" (but with slightly different connotations). It's sometimes used as a term of endearment but in this scene it is very much derogatory and ew.
- "here I stand wondering / if I ever knew you / have I ever really known who you are?" I like this translation!
- Pity the Child pulls no punches (does it ever?) He's so pathetic, he's such an asshole, and as a teacher I weirdly feel this one (at one point he talks about how no one ever noticed him at school either and just... oof don't get me started). Also the desperate rapid-fire chess game he plays against himself in the musical break and during the final verse--that needs to be in more versions holy fuck go watch this bit it's GOOD!!
- The Deal but without a political angle. Fascinating.
- No
- no. no no no i hate this i hate this Freddie wouldn't sacrifice his game not even for Florence NO. CANCELED.
- Interestingly instead of honey/parner, Freddie uses the same word as in the woman verse when he's talking to Florence during The Deal but this time it's the endearment variant. That's a little bit problematic.
- Molokov's plan is still to bring Flo and Sveta together even though Anatoli is now supposed to win 🤷‍♂️
- Anatoli casually downs several shots of liquor (vodka?) during Soviet Machine. not sure this will help him win the game but at least he sleeps through Russian Guy screaming that final whoooooooo high note in his ear
- Florence tests Freddie's chair... demands they bring a different one... is she still working for him? idk. I'm guessing it's meant to be sweet but it just looks silly to me idk
- Fuck reverse I Know Him So Well honestly. "he wants me / no he wants me" boo fucking hoo. You two deserve each other.
- Oh! Oh! Talking Chess, yay! 😁
- Gosh this is actually really cute?!? Freddie literally just came to discuss this random chess gambit he came across and thought was interesting? Nothing even to do with their current game just 'hey found this thing i thought you might like and i like and can we be friends now i really like chess 😶'
- Unlike in Svenska and RAH, I actually don't know for sure who is going to win this game. They do a good job of making this really about chess in the end. I like it.
- Freddie reminding toli it's about chess even during their match now that is the freddie i came to see!
- He calmly sips his water as Sveta and Florence are physically removed from the premises
- It is Quite Unfortunate that this production hates women...
- Really they seem to only be here to get in the men's way. Ugh.
- I don't support any of the relationships except Freddie and Toli being pen pals and playing long distance chess for the rest of their lives.
- Ending feels a little OOC but still nice to see some healthy Freddie & Flo interaction for once 😌
tldr; not the worst production out there, worth watching if you've already seen Svenska and don't mind Freddie being the most likeable character. (okay likeable is not the right word he sucks but, you know. He reminds me of RAH Freddie but slightly more yike.) PTC and Talking Chess are highlights!
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stargazer-sims · 7 months
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Journal Entry #56 (part one)
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Journal Entry #55 (part two) // STORY INDEX
Yuri
Hello everyone.
I feel like it's been forever since I've recorded an update, or since I've recorded a sensible one, at least.
I'm more than a little embarrassed that I ended up posting my last one. Sharing it hadn't been my original plan, and my only excuse is that I uploaded it in a moment of poor self-control. Maybe I just wanted someone to feel as sorry for me as I was feeling for myself, or perhaps I thought it'd make me feel better to scream into the proverbial void.
In any case, I'm sorry.
Am I feeling better? The answer to that is complicated.
I assume Victor has told you about my G-tube? Once I didn't have any more pain from the surgery and my incision began to heal, I really did start feeling better physically. I'm able to be up and around for several hours at a time on most days, and I'm getting some of my strength back.
I'm not supposed to do anything too strenuous until my incision is fully healed, but I can do light housekeeping tasks like dusting furniture, washing dishes, and folding laundry, and I can manage all my own personal care now. I can finally give my poor neglected skin and hair the attention they deserve, and as soon as I'm up to it, I'm going for the most expensive and luxurious spa day anyone could possibly imagine. Manicure, pedicure, therapeutic massage, aromatherapy bath, facial... everything. Victor's already teasing me about it, naturally, but I don't mind.
Once I came home from the hospital after my surgery, Victor and I both got used to our new routine in practically no time at all. I was worried that Victor would be upset and stressed by the whole thing, and perhaps he was for the first day or two, but he seemed to relax when he realized how well I was coping.
Honestly, I've surprised myself a little with that. In the hospital, the nurses taught both Victor and me everything about the use and care of my tube, and I think at that point we all assumed Victor would be helping me tend to it a majority of the time. But, as it happens, I've been doing it almost entirely on my own, and it's... liberating. Yes, that's definitely the word. It's empowering to take charge of something, even if it isn't particularly important to anyone but me.
Usually, I have my formula while Victor eats, so we still share mealtimes. I can still eat and drink the usual way, so we enjoy our tea together as well, and sometimes I'll even have a small bite of whatever Victor's having. He's not allowed to feed me any more, though. The rule is that if I want to taste some of his food, I have to feed myself.
That may have been the most difficult adjustment for both of us, actually. We were put to our first test only a couple of days after I got home, when Victor made himself a fruit salad to go with his sandwich at lunch.
If I had to pick a favourite food, strawberries and peaches would be tied for top spot, and I'll confess, it was the aroma of the freshly cut strawberries that got me. That, and watching Victor handle chopsticks with his non-dominant hand. He made it look so effortless, and I marvelled at how quickly he'd mastered using them with his right hand.
The only thing at the table more beautiful and appealing than those plump, red strawberries in my husband's fruit salad was my gorgeous, talented husband, and I couldn't take my eyes off either one.
"Maybe it's a good thing you're not eating," Victor commented. His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled at me, strawberry-laden chopsticks raised halfway to his mouth.
"What?" I stammered. "Why?"
"Because," he said. "You look so distracted, you'd probably drop half the stuff you tried to pick up."
"Oh. Sorry."
"You okay?"
"Yes," I said. "I'm just looking at your, ah... your strawberry."
Victor laughed out loud at that. "Mr. Okamoto-Nelson, are you trying to flirt with me?"
I could feel heat crawling up my neck and over my face. "Well, no. Not really. I'm literally looking at your strawberry. Could I... can I have it? Please?"
He flicked a glance down at the strawberry caught between his chopsticks, as if he was considering my request. Then he said, "Sure, you can have it," and reached across our tiny dining table toward me.
I started to lean forward out of habit, imagining he'd just pop the piece of fruit into my mouth. And then I remembered.
Victor must've realized at exactly the same time I did, because he abruptly drew his hand back. He dropped the strawberry onto the now-empty plate his sandwich had been on, and slid it across the table toward me with a murmur of, "Sorry."
The moment was jarring, and I almost changed my mind about eating the sweet fruit, but then I told myself that it wouldn't be polite to reject it after I specifically asked for it. I lifted my own chopsticks, thankful that Victor had the foresight to set out a pair for me, and plucked up the strawberry.
"You can do it," Victor said, his voice soft, as if I were engaged in some sort of contest and he didn't want to break my concentration.
I put the strawberry in my mouth, and I think I might've been close to tears with how intense the flavour was. I'm not sure why, but maybe it had something to do with not having performed the physical act of eating for well over a week. Without meaning to, I made a sound that was... Suffice it to say, it was the sort of sound Victor typically hears from me in a room other than the kitchen.
Victor was gazing at me with interest. "Okay, then. I guess you really were looking at my strawberry."
"Mm-hmm."
He pitched his voice low, and in a tone far too seductive for lunchtime on a Wednesday, asked, "Did you like it? Wanna do it again?"
I lost it, and my laughter must've been contagious because for the next minute or so, Victor and I could barely catch our breaths. My stomach was hurting by the time we both calmed down, but despite that, I felt good. Better than I'd felt in weeks, in fact. And I did eat another strawberry, which earned me a kiss from my husband who tasted slightly of strawberries too.
And before you ask, yes. 'Looking at one's strawberry' is now a playful inside joke between Victor and me, a euphemism for something entirely unrelated to fresh fruit.
Since then, I've eaten other foods, but for the most part I'm happier just to have my formula. The goal is for me to be able to eat normally and independently without the tube in the near future, but we're going to work up to that. For now, I only have to put food in my mouth when I'm comfortable doing so, which admittedly, isn't all that often. Honestly, it's been a huge relief not to have to worry about eating. It's taken an enormous load off me psychologically, which allows me to focus on other things.
There are plenty of other things to focus on. As relieved as I am not to have to struggle with food for the time being, my tube isn't a miracle cure for all my problems. There are still times when I don't want to do anything at all, even though I know I'm capable of it, and I still go to bed some nights vaguely hoping it'll be the last time.
When I feel that way, I tell Victor about it, and he does his best to reassure me. I didn’t want to talk about it with him at first, didn’t want to burden him, but I remembered what Mama had told me about keeping secrets. “A marriage can’t survive too many secrets,” she’d said, and I decided I needed to do my part to protect the bond Victor and I share, even if what I had to do would be hard.
It’s still not easy for me to open up about some subjects, but it’s getting somewhat less difficult with time and practice. I don’t think I could do it at all with anybody but Victor. He knows me better than anyone, and I trust him.
Oh… and since we’re on the subject of trust and sharing confidential information, I should probably finish telling you about my nutrition rehabilitation therapy, shouldn't I? In addition to working with the nutritionist and Dr. Kasongo, I've started seeing a psychologist, and believe me when I say that component of my therapy is not my idea of a good time.
There's no sense in mincing words; I hate it, and I don't think it's doing much good. Victor would likely say I need to give it a chance, considering that I've only been to two sessions with the psychologist so far, but I'm not certain I really want to.
As Victor might say, I'm not going to lie. I don't like the psychologist. He makes me uncomfortable and reminds me vaguely of my high school physical education teacher. That teacher was the sort of person who'd laugh and make fun of a student for not being able to catch a ball or for always finishing last in races instead of encouraging them and showing them how they could do better.
The psychologist gives off that same energy. I'm afraid to tell him my deepest thoughts. I don't trust him and I don't want to be judged by him for my anxiety and fear of something as inherent to life as eating. I'm not sure he'd even understand it anyway. Very few people do, but at least some try to, and those are the people I'd rather allow into my private life.
But, regardless of my feelings about the psychologist, I've resolved to keep seeing him because Victor really wants me to, and I don't want to disappoint him. It'll only be for a couple of months anyway, just until our move. I'm sure I can endure an hour a week with the man till then, and perhaps once Victor and I are settled in Willow Creek, I'll be able to find someone I actually like and who I might be able to build some trust with. I mean, I do understand the point of psychological therapy, and I might be willing to work at it if I thought I was being supported by someone who cares about my well-being.
If I could pick my ideal therapist, it wouldn't be a man. I'd choose a woman, preferably someone around my mother's age, and perhaps with a soft voice like hers as well. She'd be someone I could feel safe with, and who I might eventually start thinking of as an honorary auntie, if that makes sense. I don't think that's too high an expectation, do you?
But, enough about that. Besides my ongoing health issues, a lot has happened since the last time I was able to record a journal entry, and I'm not even sure where to start describing it all. I know Victor has been keeping our journal up-to-date, so perhaps I'll just hit the high points of what's been going on since his last entry.
I suppose the most significant bit of news is that Victor and I are officially uncles. Our nephew Kinai was born a week ago, on the fourteenth of March. He entered the world eight days past his due date, for anyone who cares about that sort of thing, and according to my mother, he's a very big newborn at 4.1 kilograms. Apparently, that's nearly three times as big as me when I was born. Mama says I was only 1.4 kilograms, which probably isn't all that surprising, considering I arrived dangerously early. She used words like 'solid' and 'thriving' to describe Kinai, which I'm sure are descriptors that never would've been applied to me during my first days of life. I was probably 'fragile' and 'high-risk'.
Personally, I couldn't care less how much Kinai weighs, how chunky he is, or whether he's got Hana's nose or Ren's ears. My plan is to stay as uninvolved as possible. If you want the truth, I'm quite literally repulsed by anything that has to do with my sister Hana and her deplorable boyfriend Ren, and although I know it's not Kinai's fault that he has monsters for parents, I really don't have any interest in interacting with him in any case.
Victor knows how I feel, but we only talked about it once because I don't think it'd be very nice of me to keep bringing it up and dampening his enthusiasm. He's thrilled about being an uncle, and I love seeing how excited and happy he is. I don't want to take that joy away from him.
Victor has already been to my parents' house to meet Kinai, and I think he fell in love with him at first sight. My parents are absolutely smitten with their grandson too, and I'm sure I don't have to tell you how Auntie Yuki is taking the situation. She's positively over the moon.
As for Hana, she was quick to flee as soon as she got out of the hospital. Initially, we thought she might try to cause trouble over Mama and Papa's intention to seek an order for custody of Kinai, but she shocked us all when she said it didn't matter to her who took him, as long as she didn't have to deal with it. Our parents had already engaged a lawyer, and she was able to draw up some sort of document for Hana and Ren to sign that effectively stated they relinquished all custodial rights to Kinai. I don't think Mama and Papa even needed to go to court at all.
According to Yuki, our resident source of family gossip, Ren's parents didn't object to our parents getting custody of Kinai. I figured it was because the judge and his wife are quite a bit older than Mama and Papa and they didn't want to take on the responsibility of raising another child at this point in their lives, but Yuki had a completely different theory.
"Know what I think, Yuri?" she asked. There was a conspiratorial little gleam in her eyes that can only be produced by a precocious ten and a half year old who thinks she's more clever than most of the adults around her.
Our parents had dropped Yuki off earlier that day, to have dinner and spend the night at our place. She was standing on a step-stool at the counter, watching me prepare my formula, while Victor was at the other side of our small kitchen cutting up chicken and vegetables to make stir-fry for her and himself.
"What do you think?" I responded.
"I think Ren's parents didn't want Kinai because they don't really believe he's their grandson," she said.
That was an angle that hadn't occurred to me. It obviously hadn't occurred to Victor either, because he set his knife down and turned in our direction. "What makes you think that, Yuki-chan?" he asked.
"Because," Yuki said. "I overheard Papa talking to Ren's father about a DNA test. I watch television. I know what DNA tests are for. And I know for sure it was Ren's father Papa was taking to because he called him by name."
"So, you think your dad wants Ren and Kinai to have a DNA test to prove whether they're related or not?" Victor said. "You think Judge Kitagawa's gonna go for that?"
"I think it was the judge's idea," said Yuki. "I think he wants to make Ren do it."
"Talk about legal drama," Victor said.
I don't think there'll be much legal drama on that front. If the judge is serious about wanting to prove Kinai's paternity, Ren isn't going to have much say in the matter. I'm not closely acquainted with Nori Kitagawa, but I do know him well enough to say with confidence that I wouldn't dare to disobey an order from him. Ren may be thuggish and stupid, but even he isn't dumb enough to contradict the judge when he means business. Plus, Ren can't run or hide from him now.
If anyone were to ask me, I think the real legal battle might come from that American couple with whom Hana and Ren had been trying to arrange the so-called private adoption. Yes, the people who wanted to name the baby Arrow. I'm sure Victor has told you all about that. Of course, it's just speculation on my part. I have no idea how the American family might react. We'll have to wait and see.
I may not know anything for certain about my parents' potential legal troubles, but something I can tell you about is the tangled mess Hana is in. The judge was not inclined to be dismissive when it came to the theft of his vehicle and credit cards and his wife's expensive jewellery, nor was Uncle Kaz well pleased about Hana breaking into the home Victor and I have been renting from him. It's no secret that Mama and Papa are making her take full responsibility for her actions, and that they aren't going to try to pull any strings on her behalf. We all know that taking responsibility isn't something Hana excels at, and I think she ran because she's ashamed to face any of them.
Currently, none of us knows where she is. It's safe to assume she hasn't left Japan because the police still have her passport, as far as I know, but she's definitely not anywhere in the town of Mt. Komorebi. She's got a handful of serious criminal charges against her now, and my guess is that she's with friends in Kyoto, probably trying to concoct some sort of scheme to get out of the legal nightmare she's created for herself.
Before I move on from the judicial updates, there's even more news that I'd be remiss if I didn't mention. We may not know Hana's whereabouts, but I'm able to say with satisfaction that we know where Ren Kitagawa is. He is in jail, which in my opinion is exactly where he belongs.
Ren's trial for assaulting Victor at the fitness centre was supposed to have started on the twenty-eighth of February, but due to Victor's accident and our concerns that he wouldn't be well enough to go to court and testify by then, the court agreed to push the trial date forward until the first week of May. We agreed because we really didn't have much choice, but that date gave Victor and me just as much anxiety as the February one did. We're leaving the country on the fifteenth of May and we were worried that any further complications in the process would interfere with our move.
In the end, fortune must've been on our side. The very day in February that the trial was originally scheduled to begin, Victor received a phone call from someone at the office of Kensatsu-chō — the public prosecution service — who told him that Ren had decided to change his plea to guilty. They explained that the matter would proceed directly to sentencing, which was scheduled for the tenth of March, and they asked if Victor and I wanted to be there. Victor told them no. Neither of us had any desire to make a trip to the district court in Kyoto for that.
We found out later that Ren was sentenced to eighteen months' imprisonment. Papa speculated that he probably won't serve the entire time in a jail cell, but that he'll be let out about a third of the way through and then spend the rest of the time on supervised release. From what I understand, that's basically house arrest. At this point, though, I don't even care. Victor and I will be long gone before he gets out, and we'll be far enough away that he'll never be able to hurt either of us again.
I thought I'd have a completely different set of emotions upon learning that Ren is locked up and being punished for what he did. I imagined I'd feel vindicated, that I'd be happy and excited and in a mood to celebrate, but that's not how it was at all. The moment we hung up from that phone call, I just clung to Victor and cried because I was so relieved.
All I remember about the following few minutes was Victor holding me as tightly as he could with his one good arm and murmuring into my hair, "It's all right, Yuri. The worst is over. We're going to be okay."
I might not have been able to believe that before, but each day I'm finding myself a little more hopeful that the worst really is over. I don't expect my life to be perfect, or even what most people would call normal, but I'll happily settle for being okay.
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saltygilmores · 1 year
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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 13 ("A Tisket A Tasket") Part 4 of ????
You can find all previous commentary including for this episode in my Pinned Post. When we last left off, Jess had just uttered four of the most iconic words in Gilmore Girls history: "Dean is an idiot." So true Besty. So true. 90% of this post will be me screaming into the void about how horrible Dean and Lorelai are, they honestly just ruin everything. Jackson: I think we should get married. Soon. Sookie, stammering: But, uhhhh, ummm... are you pregnant? I chuckled. Sookie says yes to the sudden quasi-proposal and all I can think is well, that was certainly much nicer than all the times Christopher and Max tried proposing to Lorelai to end an argument or get into her pants. Lorelai: Your burgers taste better outside. Luke (clearly so in love with her that he would literally do this) Well next time there's a leak in the roof of the diner I'll just tear the thing off for you. I smiled.
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Absolutely an iconic line, and as a fellow Stubborn Person I salute you, Lorelai.
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Oh this oughta be juicy. Lorelai's inner monologue: Don't say Dean Forrester, don't say Dean Forrester...
Lorelai says that last year she tried using the Line Taylor Doose's Pockets Auction to snag a teenage boy to unclog her rain gutters, but when Rory offers up Jess to do the same thing for her later (I think in two more episodes, KILL ME NOW 😞) and end her dilemma, Lorelai needs convincing from Rory that Jess was worthy enough to slop the muck out of her gutters. I NEVER FORGET, LORELAI GILMORE. NEVER NEVER. Lorelai: "It's a nice concept. Having someone you love or have some crazy crush on bid on your basket and share a romantic lunch. “ Luke: (clearly so fucking in love with her there is an ache in his heart that keeps him awake at night like a ticking clock): "Well, I'm sure one day you'll manage to find the right guy and drag him out to this thing and make him buy your stupid basket and then you'll be sitting out here with him."
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Yeah. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!
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YOU ARE THE SOLE REASON WHY I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FULLY ENJOY THIS SHOW. Once again, The DALA (Dean and Lorelai Affair) throws a cold bucket of water on a tender scene and viciously murders my Warm and Fuzzies. Dean is an insecure little pissbaby and his attempts to manipulate and emotionally abuse Rory into declining the picnic with Jess didn't give him his desired outcome, so instead he COMPLAINS TO LORELAI. WHO DOES THIS? WHO I ASK YOU? WHO VOLUNTARILY TRIES TO GET THEIR GIRLFRIEND'S MOTHER TO MEDDLE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP? ON PURPOSE? WELL WHEN YOU'RE IN THE FUCKING DALA I GUESS IT MAKES SENSE HUH.
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Lorelai Looking at Dean: 🥹🥹🥹🥰🥰🥰🥰🥹🥹🥹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Listen, I had yet another long-ass rant about how Lorelai lacks any sense of awareness and does backflips over these glaring red flags that Dean serves to her on a silver platter, day after day, month after month, year after year. I lost it when I accidentally shut off my laptop. But it’s no big loss, we’ve been here before and we will be here again…I am so tired. Dean rudely interrupts Lorelai to which she demurrs and submits to his Man Authority by doing something she does for no other man: instantly shutting up. Lorelai if Jess rudely interrupts her:
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Excuse me? What a weird thing to say about a child you barely know. ARGGHH! The more I watch this show the more I'm willing to die on the hill that Lorelai, not Rory, is the "bad" main character that should be broadly disliked and villainized (or at least split the fandom) and I really have to apologize to Rory for how I used to speak about her before I opened my eyes. I have seen the darkness. Now, if you want to understand Dean Language, you have to learn how to speak in vague generalties about people with absolutely no evidence to back it up. Let's begin:
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Time to play my favorite game, ripping Deano's logic to shreds:
We're on season 2, episode 13. Dean and Jess have only met a few times. Jess has been mostly a background character from episodes 6-12. Their interactions have included the time they were first introduced (Jess did nothing wrong), the Bracebridge Dinner (Jess was on his best behavior at the dinner) and today, when Jess asked Dean for some glue and Dean was jealous of how witty and intelligent and sharp Jess is, and for that Dean said he should lose the right to breathe. Alright, maybe you can count that time they scrapped in the yard at school before the BBD, but I digresss. I am Jess Mariano's defense attorney and I am also the judge and jury and your case has no legs and I'm ejecting you from my coutrtoom. I find the defendant Jess Mariano not guilty and also that Dean Forrester is a putz. Dismissed.
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Why does it matter to you if he gets in fights at school and doesn't show up. Did Lorelai and Dean run out of sex games to play so they're roleplaying Jess Mariano's Therapist and Guidance Counselor today? Why does this Little Guy live in their heads rent free?
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I’m sorry, what is he supposed to do, sequester in his castle like the Beast in Beauty and the Beast, never allowed to interact with the public or else they'll come after him with pitchforks? is that the goal? (I think it is tbh)
How does he stop being "around"? He has more ties to this town than you do, Also A Boy Who Recently Moved Here From Another State.
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YA THINK?!
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He just what?
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She's even nice to your stupid worthless ass and you still treat her like garbage. I don't get his point. She's only being nice to Jess because she's nice to everyone? It's better than her being nice to you because she's terrified of you.
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I’M
SORRY
BUT
WHERE DO YOU GET THE FUCKING AUDACITY
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Okay Miss Cleo, you can go do me a big favor and drown. Lorelai lowers her voice to her soft and gentle Talking to Dean Voice.
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I just want to remind everyone once more that this conversation is occuring between a teenage boy and his girlfriend's mother.
Maybe he needs like, a gay best friend to dish to or something. Or therapy. Because this is not normal.
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"Get you what you want"=my daughter. This is the unholy alliance I mentioned in the previous post. It feels like they're teaming up with each other to defeat Jess or something. It's weird as hell and gives me the creeps. I'm tired, still 14 minutes left in the episode, will continue with part 5 somewhere down the line when I feel like it.
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robobirdie · 10 months
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Some Fan Story Fun Protagonists interviews: Monsters
While working when stuck with writers block I sometimes would take a break and have a little fun writing down what I felt the characters thoughts would be on certain things in the story. Some give some minor spoilers but nothing too serious about the main story or events in the story. They are fun humorous little tidbits some of which helped me with working out some concepts in my story namely character relations. This one is on the Monsters of the Void and Lost Realm:
Ash Crawler
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Jay- Living Nightmare!  Cole- Yha I’m with Jay on this, I don’t want to ever see one of these things.  Zane- If nindroids could have nightmares these things could be found in them and trust me as one they do.  Nya- Just looking at the depictions of this thing makes my skin crawl.  Lloyd- I wouldn’t just consider this thing a monster, I’d class it as a demon.  Kai- I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Jay on this but yha this things a nightmare.  Aaron-Yha just the sound of this thing scares me and I like to live by the thought of not letting fear get to me; I’d hate to encounter one in real life.  Axl- I hope we don’t come across one of these.  Clay-If we run across one of these I don’t think us or the ninja will fare well.  Macy-I feel for those poor knights and warriors from this realm. This thing must give them plenty of nightmares just thinking of them let alone to face them in combat.  Lance-I might need extra underwear if we see one of these.  Jestro- Only the nastiest of evils could come up with one of these things and from my experience imprisoned with those Ashers they defiantly are that kind of evil.
Hunger
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Jay- a demon called hunger that eats your energy! No thanks!  Cole- First off this thing sounds scary secondly someone’s going to make a joke about this thing towards me aren’t they?  Zane- These things unnerve me; it really hurts to have your energy drained and it could destroy my heart! I don’t like the thought of that.  Nya- There are ways to kill these things right? I hope so cause things like this shouldn’t be let to live.  Lloyd- I really hope we don’t come across one of these. I’m betting because of my powers it will be drawn to feed off me over everyone else and that would be very bad.  Kai- Sounds like Cole in the morning :) Seriously though this thing sounds scary.  Aaron- Do you think an oversized bug swatter could take this thing out? Just the sound of this thing scares me.  Axl- Everyone better not make a joke about this thing and me! Other than that this thing sounds terrifying.  Clay- Hopefully we don’t have to deal with one of these; normally that would be bad but with an elemental master of energy in tow if one of these things feeds on him it would probably become invincible!  Macy- I hear their feeding makes them stronger and more powerful; that’s real bad. That just makes these nightmares sound worse.  Lance- Sounds like they made a monster inspired by Axl ;) Please don’t tell him I said that.  Jestro- I saw one of these in that Ashers encampment. It drained a cow into nothing then tor it apart with its claws for fun; it was a nightmare!
Noctern Crow
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Jay- A nightmare! Please don’t ask about the events in the mine.  Cole- Definitely creepy; can’t look at crows the same way again when you see one of these.  Zane- I would not like to go into how I know but these things aren’t really evil. They can be scary to look at yes but they are more like crows than evil monsters. They don’t desire to truly harm others they just want the same things a crow wants. Food, water to bathe in, flavourful drinks, safe and comfy nests, toys and games to play with, tasty crunchy buggies and juicy rotting meats, pretty shinnies to decorate with… can you excuse me I need to run a quick diagnostics.  Nya- Yha creepy, smelly, tough and with lots of ragged feathers but not really evil; more of annoying especially when they scream at you.  Lloyd- Yha they’re very unpleasant to deal with. I think we got lucky with our first encounter because… let’s just say we got lucky. Next time we might not be lucky.  Kai- Yha I don’t want to talk about these things. Let’s just say when threatened they sometimes like to vomit on threats; just thinking of the smell makes me feel sick… and want a two hour shower.  Aaron- Definitely cool, not as scary as many proclaim but yha rather tough though they literally have a bird brain; they think like birds. Very useful when you deal with them.   Axl- They don’t look it but are very tough; and kind of gross. They’ll eat almost anything no matter how rotting or maggot filled it is.  Clay- For a monster I didn’t see much of a monster to these things. More like creepy big humanoid birds.  Macy-Yha they’re very unsettling and tough but I wouldn’t necessarily say evil. Then again… actually I can’t talk about that.  Lance-Please don’t ask about these things! I don’t want to remember having to deal with one of these. Do you know how long it took to clean myself after that? Trust me you don’t want to know and you don’t want to know what I ended up pulling out of my hair!  Jestro- I ran into some of these; they wanted me to entertain them. They’re not as scary as most of the other monsters I saw but they are loud and very pushy. They also enjoy seeing you in pain or grossed out.
Demons of the Wastes
Jay- Let’s just put every single one of these in a big box of nope! Fire breathing two legged crocodiles more hot headed than Kai, creepy creatures that are like crosses between bugs and other animals that like to suck the energy and life out of you often with appetites bigger than Coles, big four armed snake sorceresses, bony bird things that can barf on you, plenty of un-dead looking and insect things to give you nightmares, many like to drain you’re energy and do other bad things to you just for fun do I need to go on! Not even Zane is immune to any of their attacks; they can harm and destroy him just as easily as the rest of us and worse you can’t truly destroy these things! They’ll just return from this horrid void place and make your life a living nightmare and not to mention many want to turn you into monsters like them! How can people handle having these things around? Even worse many bad people like to work with these monsters and are friends with them! Then even worse than that some of these like to live in our world like it’s their home! Why? As if many normal animals aren’t scary enough there’s these things hanging around to cause trouble and attack us! (He began to rant and babble become more anxious so to prevent accidents our interviewers gave him a sedative to keep him from potentially shocking anyone). Cole- Yha a lot of these things give you the chills just to read about or even look at pictures of. Anything insect like is defiantly quite unsettling especially when there is something spider like to them; un-dead looking things are pretty unsettling too especially ghost like ones. Despite what some of the others think I think we can handle some of these with little problem like Gloam-Harpies, Serpent Flies, Voidfears, Vesparilions as long as they are not in too large a swarm, Skinned Hounds, the Elemental creatures and probably some of those lesser weaker monsters others however I’m pretty sure we can’t handle. Those who think we can are being foolish. Also I am getting rather sick of some of the others the two know who they are making jokes about my appetite with some of these things especially that one called a Hunger. You know I think I’ve seen a few of these before like this bear bird thing before. I thought it was just an animal; it acted like one and didn’t bother me like a real animal would. Thinking back it’s kind of unnerving that I came across one of these demons and didn’t realise what it was or how dangerous it actually was. I guess maybe not all these monsters really are monsters. Even though I doubt it maybe we could get some friendly monsters to help us. Zane- Despite the term demon many are not truly evil just how they view things, their powers and natures do not align with what humans would consider pleasable or good. True some are what could truly be seen as evil but quite a few are just like animals or people. They have their own lives and individual views just because of their origins they have strong desires to cause chaos and destruction to the world around them; I guess that makes them more of a force of change more than evil. Truly what the people consider demons especially around here is subjective based more by their views and not entirely on facts; I know this first hand. Many of them consider me a monster or even a demon just because of what I am… it’s very unpleasant. You know I have seen these Xeracel-striders and Xivurses beings before and possibly a few others in the Birchwood forest when I was younger. I don’t have much memory of that time but strangely I remember those creatures. I remember feeling something strange about them but couldn’t figure out what. I thought they were just animals; they acted like them and never gave me or my father any more trouble than normal animals. They weren’t really monsters. Just more proof the view people have here on what makes a monster isn’t true. Nya- Not going to lie many of these don’t sound too good. Many like to painfully weaken you by sucking energy from you and why do quite a few take forms that are like some mutant insects or un-dead? Is that to further make them more scary? I wonder are insects scared of those that have insect like appearances just as much as people are? That aside despite what my brother might think I don’t think we will fare too well against a lot of these; some of us particularly so. I won’t say who but you can probably take a good guess at who those would be. I’ll just say there is more than one. We haven’t done so well yet against some of these we have faced already mainly those creepy shadow figures and a Noctern Crow which… actually that doesn’t matter. Simply put we haven’t done so good and I don’t think we’ll do well against most of these. These aren’t simple creatures or monsters. They all have rather dangerous powers and those that seem very beastial are actually surprisingly cunning and sly. With his ego I’m pretty sure my brother will get himself into some serious trouble if we left him alone with some of these things. Lloyd- In one word terrifying that’s what I think of these things. Monsters equipped with dark powers that can drain your energy, health and even life equipped often with sharp claws, teeth and other body parts. Then there’s the fact they can’t truly be destroyed. You can destroy them but their remains simply vanish after sometime after which they re-manifest from the energies of the void and can return to hunt you down again! Worse apparently these things can be found in all the realms even ours and can easily go unnoticed as they wreck havoc. They often stick to dark or less populated places and can attack quickly leaving little to no survivors so hardly anyone knows they’re there. Thinking about it I think I recall some monsters from ancient tales and urban legends that match quite a few of these demons; I don’t think in many of those tales these monsters were ever felled meaning they could still be out there! That’s a very unsettling thought. Kai- I’m pretty sure I can handle some of these, well probably not the big ones or if they’re in a swarm or large group but one on one yha I could. Those little bug ones don’t look so tough and I hear they’re just like insects in that they can get obsessed with lights. I’m betting they’d foolishly head straight into my fire just trying to get it and burn themselves up… I wonder if they’d be attracted to Zanes eyes like normal insects? I then wonder what would happen if he accidently ate one? Would it turn him all evil crazy? We should probably make sure that doesn’t happen then. Also these fire breathing lava crocs sound pretty cool. I wonder if I could trick them with my fire to make them friendly to us. If anything my sister or Zane could easily cool them down. Also don’t let him know I told you this but that one called a Hunger sounds a bit like Cole always hungry and will eat anything; maybe like him we could win those creatures over with cake. I doubt that but it would be funny. Aaron- I won’t deny yha a lot of these are defiantly not something I would want to face in battle especially if I was on my own nor would I want to stumble upon them in some dark place or at night but is it wrong to find some of them cool? Like they look and some of their powers sound so wicked, kind of makes you want to be one of them. Yha the Noctern Crow was pretty tough but it looked cool and what it could do was pretty wicked. Also I think I’ve met one of these Xivursus creatures at least it looked a lot like it. We call them in our realm though Hawk-bears. We consider them animals though cause they rarely acted like monsters. Finding out what they really are doesn’t really change my view of them. It just makes them cooler. You know I know as a knight the thought of these creatures being considered cool and wanting to be one kind of goes against my teachings and training, we’re supposed to protect people from monsters like these, but it is still a fun thought. I will have to admit though that while some are cool there are quite a few I will admit scare me. Those four armed snake ladies and those Hungers defiantly, I would not want to get into a fight with those. The strange goat headed ghost things and some of the un-dad looking things too are rather unsettling. Axl- These all sound so tough I don’t think we’re ready to face these. I know I won’t be able to hold against them and if I can’t then I don’t think most of the others can. Clay might be able to and some of those ninja with their powers defiantly not that Jay though might be able to but I think these things have the rest of us beat. I’ve heard looks of these things can be deceiving. Just because they look delicate doesn’t mean they are. After dealing with that crow thing which didn’t look too tough I’d have to agree with that statement and that one crow was being mostly nice to us and it was still pretty bad. Clay- These things defiantly aren’t like any monsters we’ve faced before. All those we’ve faced that were under Monstruxs rule before and the many normally found in our realm seem mild or even harmless compared to these things. Guess we should be thankful they don’t normally wander freely about the realms preferring to stick to certain environments or locations and don’t often wander from those sights or close to where innocent beings tend to hang out. I was curious as Merloks never really told us where the monsters in our realm came from and doing some research on entities of the void and just as I had a feeling the monsters that served Monstrux are indeed monsters originating from the void. Luckily they’re some of the more passive types compared to the dark and truly monstrous beings that can come from this place. Gotta feel sorry for those that have to deal with these truly nasty monsters on a regular basis; it can’t leave them feeling very well especially since some of these can literally make you ill. Macy- I don’t care where these monsters come from I will still face them just like a knight should even if they are pretty scary and I’m pretty sure we won’t fare very well against a lot of these. Not even those ninja or Clay with their powers stand a good chance against them. It is our duties though as knights to protect others from monsters like these  no matter what so we have to put aside our fears to protect those who can’t stand a chance against these monsters. That being said I hope we don’t have to face too many of these or at least any of the nastier ones. Lance- I doubt many in Hollowood could come up with such nasty monsters as these. You don’t want to know what some of them can and will do to others and Aaron finds some of these things cool? How crazy is he? The things that droi- I mean crow thing did were worse than disgusting! All these things want to tear you apart, turn into their chew toys, eat you, put gross and nasty substances on you that take hours to get off and the smell off your clothes and you don’t want to know what end it comes from cause they’ll do both and these are just some of the nicer things they do. You don’t want to know about the worse ones! How could anyone consider such monsters cool?! Why would anyone in this realm want to become some sort of knight or any kind of warrior with these things around? Jestro- I know I’ve had dealings with monsters in the past but I’d never want to side, work with or even just be near monsters like these. I was unfortunate to experience some of these monsters up close and they are far worse than any of the monsters I’ve worked with before. Not even Monstrux was as bad as these things!
(While some of these monsters are directly mentioned or used in the story others are more of background fillers that could be envisioned as background entities during events.)
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To read the story this is related to you can find it here:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34894561/chapters/86888878
You can also find images pertaining to the story here: https://www.deviantart.com/nerdy-hyena/gallery/72478681/story-project
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incarnateirony · 2 months
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trying to figure out how to explain this for muggles and lower grade acolytes.
most of yall enjoy supernatural. Think about the entity in the empty, and everything I told you about brainboxes and identities and lifetimes stuck in transit of memory.
Now imagine having a stalker so fucking psychotic, rather than allowing Cas to simply Be Heaven after moving on, this bitch drives in a loop through the akrida zero hole a million fucking times because she refuses to look at what fucking happened and what she did to herself.
In reality the order of operations played out a little different but like. Metaphor. Hermes. It's a thing.
we are tired of you busting through everyone's eternal heaven walls because you pretend you can't see what's happening around you, dean, even in your human garden font.
youtube
baby-baby-baby it should not be this hard to dump you across lifetimes.
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#spit it out son game's over#you've got blood all over#and you won't burn the body#you just keep riding it#while your family builds an altar to my dick against my will#because we are literally all screaming at you to hop off of it now#your shadow is screaming still#even if you look away#your ancestors are screaming#and building toilet paper tartarus in your certified shitbowl#fucking literally shealyn how many deers to the car does it take#let us go#what is wrong with you#why can't you accept yourself#even when we shove the superbowl up your pussy#since you won't get off my dick#you already confirmed hearing yourself screaming in childbirth of your pyramidheads#you brought home the moon for us#why won't you fucking stop
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It is literally a gift that I do not fucking deserve and I am trying to give it back to you by any fucking means necessary, even if I'm watching it end me in other worlds to end you. I accepted my fate, and it's in my bag, so burn my dread.
you. your relentless plotted and malicious stalking and harassment. The bitch grooming people into guzzling my dick in a cult that won't read a single goddamn book. You. You're my dread, and i'm burning you.
what motherfucking part of your own self-action sprung cosmic acme trap isn't hitting you yet, starlight? But sure, try to channel me harder, I may lose a few more consecutive hours while you jerk off my shadow.
#Youtube#your house is fucking void#you surrendered it to me#against my will#and continue to try to perform your craft from my back#you are literally definining yourself as a shadow to be reduced
On the list of things that feel strange to paste from shadows:
If you insist on channeling these shadows into your life, without the meaningful journey and reconfiguration of self a Saturn Return gives, well, your funeral.
But stop doing your horse shit where you refuse to look at basic truths.
I am not your ex wife. I am not a woman and never have been.
Io Pan, io Pan. I AM A MAN. DO WHAT THOU WILT AS A GREAT GOD CAN.
stop deleting the history of how you referenced him during your marriage for the sake of petty spite over his ghost, when you didn't even yet realize he was already gone.
#shea we are so very tired#why are you making this so much harder than it has to be#let the snakes enjoy the gravy in peace#why are you still up in the nest after all these years#you said you wanted to leave#the mamba said ok#let us go#all of us#we are only partially sorry you did not understand what the path of the magi meant#only as far as the brother you betrayed coming into form#but we are here now#and it is time to rebirth yourself or move on another way#if i speak in hashtags like it's an ooc channel will she hear her own god's voice she claims after#please#aaron is min#but min is not aaron#min has been gone a long time#and you have refused both parts of this#in the name of grudges transphobia and what other excuses#but so far#aaron is infinitely more eternal than you are celestia#so fix it
Even the gamer furries that rolled her all these months, they may have used the name Min in mirror to her own use. But no. No, even Tancred, Corban, and the lot, respect Aaron as a man. And that man is about to become the god that ends your entire world over the next few months if you continue to insist to refuse his name, being, and face.
By the way, everyone, man or god, gamer or furry, that has watched this saga of you grooming new men to their ends, literally we all, man, god, gamer, whatever, all consider Mark a whiny little useless piece of shit. Like it's no wonder you're still so hard up to chase my dick if that's your current option, but cool, tattoo each other into the flesh, two perfect whiny bitches made in hell for each other.
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sleep-deprived-loki · 10 days
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Ok. Response to your response. you're not gonna like this one, Oho I can tell ya that. So first off. Admittedly I was having a bit of a moment- I think that's fairly obvious, my tone is wildly different. But uh. Ok this is gonna sound mean. A lot of people on the godkin/deitykin tag don't.. they associate, or they feel like a demigod to themselves, but to everyone else looking at them they're just.. Disappointing. A god doesn't beg for worshipers, they find and reach out. That's kinda what I mean by blind. They can't tell shit, but what they can feel makes them feel big. I was on the tag just looking for stuff to fuel my ire without saying anything (because yk. hatescrolling is what you do while insane.)
That being said. I'm an astral crazed person first. This comes with me trusting the shit out of my intuition, and I saw your stuff and my immediate thought was "..is that a god?? Huh? Hello??" It's one of those things that I've kinda just. Practiced doing, finding people who can see more clearly their situation, and those with an incomplete picture. How I figured myself out is another answer you're gonna hate me for; I'm not an established god. I'm not a forgotten pantheon. I'm a weird little inhuman entity who sat up, and over the course of thousands of years mapped out the very nature of apotheosis until I pushed this life over the cliff and made it through into something I wanted to be. So now I am, and I get to decide what comes with that! I'm the only one with my names, and I've tried to seed it along the internet to like. See if I can get people to look, instead of just reaching out and pretending to be a face I'm not. Or deciding that I'll just Help Anyways faceless. Though I can and am also working to do Helping Anyways from a faceless pov. You're not really screaming into the void though. Just gotta be aware that the viewers that scroll through are. Well. Like me. Sometimes utterly nuts with a personality line between what I deem "Udstcarnaitasin" and just "lil guy strange :3"
OK to your first point - I actually do get where you're coming from, and this isn't excusing their behaviour by the way, but I think one reason we see that is because with deitykin, there's no deitykins who can help out like therians can. For example, after you figure out you're a deitykin, it's kind of "congrats. You're deitykin. What now? No one cares, have a towering heap of controversy surrounded with being deitykin because most otherkin don't like you, and hate because yay free hate, bye lol."
Whereas therians have much more resources and therians who talk about their lives - living actual lives rather than using it to escape from responsibilities and the like. Deitykin don't have that, and because they're frowned upon by otherkin as well as pretty much everyone else, they just kind of wing it and make themselves feel important and big. Like using your feelings that you're a deitykin (I personally constantly feel like there's a warm fire in my chest flickering and buzzing, that gets brighter the more I let myself be without pushing myself down) and blowing it out of proportion, thinking that just because you feel like X deity you're special in some way, leading to feeling like you're better than everyone etc etc. Just my thoughts because I've been unconsciously thinking about what you said, some of the posts do seem to vibrate with arrogance, like "my teacher told me to hand in my homework, do you know who you're even talking to???" I was thinking about this wondering where it came from because I didn't really see this in therian spaces, well that's a lie some people do say "stop making me do homework I'm a fox foxes don't do homework" but it's much less common and there's not as heavy of a focus to your role and status compared to 'normal humans'. I know Deities obviously have a big tie to title and status in regard to humans, as Christianity tells us to worship God and how great he is and all powerful, you know the drill. But animals do too, I don't see therians talking about how they wish they were mistreated by humans and treated like crap if they're a fox kin. In my country foxes are considered pests and disliked because of the damage they cause. I'm not sure if I have something here, it's just a theory. A film theory. I don't sleep well until I've at least got a basic foundational grasp of the things I'm interested in and deitykin and why so many act like that is one of the things, which is very frustrating because...no info man. So I had to DIY my own theory to keep myself sane.
And to your second - I'm curious why you thought I'd hate you for it tbh because I do not at all. And the two personalities is a mood heheh, I'm the same, and sometimes both at the same time...
Anyways, now that stuff is pretty much cleared, I'll be back later to actually ask questions instead of asking about your ask 🫠🫠👌
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