The other night.
I walked into the small convenience store at a quarter to midnight and the person at the counter asked me how I was doing.
I hadn’t been asked that in what felt like forever so I answered honestly, I said “ you know what, it’s been a rough night”
And they said, they were sorry to hear that and to grab whatever I liked. I walked past the worker, who had pity and annoyance in their voice and eyes.
I walked over to the drink cooler, but I saw nothing grab my attention, the soda had too much fizz, the juice had too much sugar, the chocolate milk, like everything else, would just make me fatter.
So I kept walking. And made my way to the snack line. I looked up and down the shelves but I didn’t find anything too good that I wanted to eat.
And as I was looking.
I was hit with too many waves to count, i heard the things my mother yelled at me, my brother insulting me, the amount of friends that have left and betrayed me, how I hated my family, and most of all , how badly I hated myself.
I hated the way I looked, I hated the way I talked, the way I stood, I hated the way I walked, I hated my weight, I hated my body, I hated the way I acted, I hated my thoughts, and how selfish and pathetic I was.
I hated everything.
And before I knew it, the waves started to show up on my face…
Choked sobs were tuned out by the loud buzzing of slush machines.
But all I could hear were my thoughts, and all I saw were the tears that fell silent on to my shaking hands, so I leaned against the cooler door.
And before I knew it…
My entire world came crashing down, in a small convenience store..
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