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rimunagenius · 1 year

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Existing

pairing: Daryl x genneutral!reader

summary: Y/N realizes hiding their feelings is becoming far too much so their only solution is to distance themselves from Daryl. When Daryl confront Y/N, secrets are revealed and new bonds are created.

era: season 7 (Negan and saviors don’t exist, Glenn never died — that was purely to fuel my delusional brain that Glenn is happily living his life with Enid, Maggie, and Hershel (:)

words: i have no clue (sorry y’all….no im not.)

A/N: Whoo! This is officially my second Daryl x reader fic, and please please PLEASE if i slipped another pronoun like he or she, please comment or message me to correct me so i can fix it. Or if gender nuetral pronouns are wrong all together, correct me please i want to make sure it’s correct so no one feels singled out or misgendered on my page!! thank you sexies!! It’s a force of habit, i write a lot of fem!reader stuff on wattpad and stuff so thanks! Hope you enjoy, this might be shit bc it’s unedited or bc i just actually suck at writing 🥳

warnings: slight angst?? fluff

REQUESTS OR WTV THEYRE CALLED ON HERE, ARE OPEN!!

NOT MY GIF!!!

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It was known to everyone that you liked Daryl and that he liked you. There was definitely no hiding it. It was common knowledge to anyone in the community.

Everyone saw the way you looked at him with the utmost admiration. He was strong — mentally and physically — he always treated you with respect, nothing less. He was there whenever you needed him and he understood you and never judged you. He was perfect. How could you not look at him like he was the human embodiment of perfection.

Daryl was never one to reveal too much about himself. He never found it in himself to tell anyone his past, never wanted to say too much before they looked at him like he was someone else and not the Daryl they already knew. He wanted to be seen, not judged and listened to without being left out of fear or inferiority. He just wanted to finally fit in and not be seen as the ‘redneck trash asshole’ everyone already thought he was. He was never seen as anything less but a human with feelings who deserved a chance when it came to you. He always felt unconditionally loved — protected. He always felt seen with you, and he never felt like you were judging him like almost everyone else did. He was grateful that the end of the world gave him someone like you.

“Hey sunshine!” You tried your best to mimick his southern drawl as you patted his back, falling in rythym with Daryl’s steps alongside him.

He looked down at you, smirk prying at the corner of his lush lips, scoffing his usual scoff when it came to you. Always playful, never malicious. Even though he had many scrapes and bruises, which you have yet to notice on the man, he took his time getting to the infirmary if it meant he spent just a little time with you.

“Hey.” His face dropped any trace of amusement when he saw your face fall into a look of worry.

“Oh my god, Daryl! Your bleeding!” You immediately stood infront of him, halting his tracks as you examined his body for any more injuries. “C’mon, let’s go.” Grabbing his hand, you dragged him to Denise, grabbing the supplies to do it yourself while she tended to other victims of the difficult run. You were a nurse before the fall so you spent most of your time in Alexandria helping Denise. You actually had the supplies to aid everyone, instead of scrounging for makeshift supplies when you were on the road.

Grabbing gauze and disinfecting liquid, you cleaned his blood crusted scrapes, and managed to convince him to let you clean up his face. “Why are ya like this, Y/N?” He flinched as you reached to clean the cut above his brow. You scoffed at the man. You were flabbergasted as to why he was questioning your motives.

“Uh, because I care Daryl. I’m never not gonna care.” You looked at him as it was obvious. Because to you, and apparently everyone else but him, it was. You truly loved that man. You truly cared for him and wanted nothing but the absolute best for him. He looked at you like you were crazy for caring this much about a guy like him. “But why? I could’a done this myself. I don’ need yer’ help.” He didn’t wipe the look off his face. He was genuinely confused.

“You have protected all of us. Ever since Atlanta, the farm…You never stopped caring and protecting us. No one really batted an eye to you for it. But it’s about damn time someone starts taking care of you, and I plan on doing just that til’ the day I die, Dixon.” You gave him a warm smile as you placed a small kiss on his forehead as you continued to tend to his wounds.

He recalled that memory everytime he thought of you and your beautifully kind heart. He remembered the warm fuzzy feeling he had gotten when he looked into your eyes that night. He felt like he was lost and your beaming light, your smile, you…brought him where he always belonged. Home.

You both felt at home with eachother. Regardless if both of you were aware of the others feelings or not. Regardless if you both met someone, neither you or him, would dare spend your borrowed time apart. You needed him like he needed you. Even if it had been purely platonic, neither of you would care. You two were eachothers anchors, keeping the other grounded. You saved eachother. You weren’t letting eachother go until the both of you were dead.

Although the idea of the relationship being platonic and you willing to be okay with that under the right circumstances, you hated the idea of it now. You knew Daryl wasn’t seeing anybody, or atleast you had a good idea. He would’ve told you, or Carol, which would’ve inevitably circled back to you. ‘I am going to die on this ship. A captain never abandons her ship’ Carol always teased you about your little crush on Daryl. She was infact very shameless of the teasing. It only increased when she learned that the feelings were mutual.

But the constant feeling of butterflies, the blush pink rising in your cheeks significantly everytime he spoke to you or said your name the way he always did, the sudden loss for words whenever you tried to speak your mind was something you couldn’t take anymore. Telling Daryl was detrimental to your state of mind from here on out. He needed to know.

That was the problem though, you had been avoiding him for days after you decided to distance yourself from the archer because being around him, feeling the way you felt, was something that was unsettling to you. You knew he knew that you were avoiding him. He would walk in your direction and you’d quickly turn around in the other. It was getting easier to avoid him because you had memorized the days he told you he’d be gone on runs and doing handiwork around the community.

This however, wasn’t one of the easier times. You were wrapping your conversation up with Maggie and Glenn when you turned heel, on your way to your home. You didn’t make it far before you bumped into a broad chest that belonged to none other than him.

“Hey, what’s up with ya’? Why is my favorite girl avoidin’ me. Did I do somethin’. If I did, I’m so sorry sunshine.” Daryl was quick to apologize. For what? He couldn’t tell you. All he knew was that he wanted the cold shoulder you gave him to dissapear and be replaced with the warm love you both mutually shared. He couldn’t do that if you weren’t talking to him.

“Nothing. Excuse me.” You tried your best not to look him in the eyes and let loose all the feelings you wanted to scream into his face to make him understand that you truly, deeply loved him. You trudged up your pearly white steps into the beautiful home you, Rosita, and Tara shared.

You were only able to unlock the door and take one step into the home before you were met with his hand connecting to your forearm, stopping your movements completely. “Hey, you can talk ta’ me. Ya’ know I would never do nothin’ to hurt you, right? Look, Y/N. I’m sor-“

“Can you stop apologizing! You did nothing wrong, Daryl. Hell, you never do wrong,” Your voice faltered at the end, your head falling as you collected your breath and gained the courage to just come clean. You looked into your favorite blue eyes, your eyes already starting to fill with frustrated tears; some betraying you, already cascading down your face. “Daryl. I cannot keep doing this. I can’t keep pretending that we’re just friends because I don’t think we should be.”

“Wait—you don’ wanna be friends no more?” Daryl felt his heart break in two. He hoped he misread the situation and it was just your horrible delivery. He prayed the only person he loved with everything in him, wasn’t leaving him. He refused to be left. Not again.

“Not when everytime I look at you all I think about is what it’d be like to hold you in my arms every chance i get. To know what it’s like to kiss you because that’s all I think about. Being the first person you see when you wake up in the morning and the last person you talk to at night. I can’t be your friend when all I want is for us to be more than that, Daryl.” Your frustrated tears were showing no mercy as you tried so hard not to cry infront of him. You didn’t want to make him feel bad into giving into what you wanted. The last thing you wanted was make him do something he didn’t want to. That’d hurt you more.

“Y/N-“ Daryl was ready to commit. He was ready, for you. He wanted this just as much as you did. He didn’t get to deliver his confession before you cut him off, wanting to get it all over and done with.

“No, Daryl. I can’t. I can’t think without you. It’s like my whole body relies on you. My whole damn life is you, I literally can’t breathe because i’m waiting for you. Hoping and waiting til’ the day you come to me and tell me you want me forver. You own me, Daryl. You control me. I belong to you.” There was no running now. You had just said everything you could ever say the best you could. You just hoped it was enough. Maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way too. Your chest heiving in big waves as you tried to catch your breath. You didn’t realize telling him how you felt took all the breath out of your lungs. Your words so powerful they left you breathless.

You were embarassed. You told him how you felt and as you spoke his expression, the look on his face, honestly terrified you. You weren’t gonna take it back beacuse you meant every word. You’d wait. No matter how long it took.

He wasted no more than a second to step foward, your chests almost touching. He wanted you to hear him. He wanted you to see him. When he talked, you always listened; he rarely talked because you usually did all the talking but he never minded it. He could listen to you all day long. Now, it was his turn and he’d be damned if he wasted probably the only chance he would ever get to tell you how much he loved you.

“You own me! You control me, I belong to you. I love you, Im in love with you, yer’ the love of my life. My every feelin’ is controlled by the look on yer’ face. I can’t breathe without ya’. I can’t sleep without ya’. I wait for ya’, I watch for ya’. Goddamit — I fuckin’ exist for you, Y/N.”

Both of you didn’t know what to say. You had both stood there screaming your feelings in the others face and now…neither of you had anything to say. You stood there, searching eachothers eyes, face, and body as you waited for the other to speak.

“So…that’s it?” You broke the silence as you looked up at the man. He didn’t know what to do other than look into your eyes. He slipped his hand into yours, slowly entangling your fingers as your lips curled up due to the gesture.

“I guess it is. What d’ya say we go wash up and you can be the last person I talk to before I go to sleep at night?” He swiped a piece of your hair behind your ear, and gave you a genuine smile. This was new. Well, not new but he rarely did this, even when you guys were together hanging out. You hid your face in your hands, the embarrassment blush creeping into your cheeks.

“Shut up.” You mumbled. “Nah. Ya’ asked for this.” He replied as he pulled your hands away from your face. You put up a fight, not ready to face the man with your cheeks being extra blushed. “C’mon. Where’s my pretty girl?” You felt weak in the knees as you looked up at him and pressed a soft, warm kiss to his lips.

“Theres my sunshine.” His smile now faltering to a smirk. He grabbed your hand and led you up the stairs into your room.

You both didn’t expect the outcome of tonight. The whole admitting your feelings, yelling in eachothers face to get them to understand that you loved them so fiercely you were willing to scream it at them, to hell with whoever eavesdropped. You both didn’t care who heard you that night. All that mattered was that you and Daryl now had eachother. Forever. That’s all that mattered.

“Do you think they saw us?” Tara looked down to the relaxed girl splayed on her lap.

“No I don’t think so. But I didn’t think Dixon had the balls to admit that to Y/N. Go him.” She laughed breathlessly as she took another swig of her wine.

“Ok because that would’ve been super awkward. Atleast we all don’t have to vomit in our mouths anymore after seeing how freaking clueless they were of eachothers feelings.” Tara looked up the stairs hearing the door close, and shower starting to run as she settled and finished her glass along with her friend.

“Dibs on telling Carol first!” Rosita shot up from her spot on Tara’s lap as she bolted out the back door, opening the gate to Carol and Ricks yard, bursting through the doors ready to tell the woman the news. Tara yelling incoherent curses as she didn’t make it in time behind Rosita to beat her to it. Their door slamming, echoing through the house and into the bathroom you and Daryl currently occupied.

“What was that?” Daryl asked as he looked down at you, your eyes closed as you washed the soap from your hair as he admired you doing it.

“I don’t know I think Rosita or Tara just got home. They’ll probably go straight to bed so we’re good until tomorrow.” Switching with Daryl, you scrubbed the soap in his hair out as the water washed the suds of his built frame.

You both continued your shower, totally unaware of the teasing you’d both receive for ‘finally making it official, Rick’s words not yours.

I guess you both would have to wait til the morning after you’ve woken up from the most blissful sleep you’d have in months before your friends had free reign. All that mattered was that you and yours were finally happy, with no more secrets. Just simply existing for the other, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

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