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#exorsexism
genderkoolaid · 12 hours
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I don't know if you know, but there's just been a case of a maths teacher being fired after deadnaming and misgendering a transmasc student in the UK. He, of course, couldn't accept this decision and took it to court and luckily, he lost the case (he didn't like that), but I was reading through the judiciary judgement and it's so nauseating and obviously targeted at transmascs in particular.
He refused to use his pronouns, wrote his deadname on the whiteboard, and actually pulled the student aside afterwards to warn them against taking testosterone and it causing irreversible damage. Not only that, but he straight up compared HRT (which he had no evidence the student was even on) to Mengele's experiments in Auschwitz.
The link in case anyone is curious: https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Lister-v-New-College-Swindon.pdf
(cont) It's just nauseating to read the judgement and see the amount of deadnaming, misgendering but also a teacher complete move past the boundary between a student to attempt them to either a) detransition, or b) prevent them from transitioning in the first place. This teacher is essentially attempting both, the first by not respecting his social transition, and the second by in a private conversation pressuring him not to do HRT, and also speaking to HIS FRIEND, and also attempting to pressure her to talk him out of it (pg 13). I struggle to put into words how obvious it is that here and abroad, how people talk about HRT and transition in regards to transmascs and trans men is so overtly misogynistic and controlling, and so deeply rooted in misogyny. These people are furious at losing what they perceive is owed to them, it's obvious that they want emphatically to detransition trans men, and the underlying sentiment is because of an ownership over our bodies.
(The linked pdf)
Yeah, this is a fucking wreck. And it seems like a lot of reporting on this is from transphobes who see this guy like an academic martyr. Also got some hot exorsexism from this article:
“I do say this is breaching the Equality Act because you are encouraging the idea that a non-binary person can come into class and say she is a boy and by the afternoon she can say somewhere between the two,” he said.
Also, not a big fan of how they constantly use "they/them" for the trans student in question, except when it comes directly before/after a quote or sentence that would make it too awkward?
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this-is-exorsexism · 2 days
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The hyperbinarism of HRT and trans surgery spaces. I can't talk about desires or experiences without being boxed as either a man or a woman, and in my country I have to pretend to be either a man or a woman to even access hrt or surgeries and then they'll automatically change my sex marker from one to the other. It's so dysphoria inducing and incredibly unfair.
this is exorsexism.
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proudnb · 1 day
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Being nonbinary is not childish. It is an important quality that exists across all ages, just like being a woman or a man.
What's childish is assuming that everyone should conform to one's own expectations, and then throwing a tantrum when people are inevitably different.
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Queer terms should not be forced on anyone, so when non-binary/genderqueer people don't consider themselves trans, that should be accepted.
But we do need to ask why this is the one time that the broader queer community decided to listen to non-binary/genderqueer people.
We want to decide our own dating boundaries but everyone makes it discourse. We want to choose our own pronounces but everyone makes it discourse. We want to describe our own genders but everyone makes it discourse.
But the fact that some non-binary/genderqueer people are not trans is the thing they choose to respect? The same people who used to openly declare that they did not believe we were real? The same people who still don't let us breathe without trying to make us justify our own existences?
I can't look at the history and state of queer community without concluding that people only accepted that some of us are not trans because they don't think we are real.
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nex benedict, a 16 year old indigenous nonbinary student in oklahoma, was beaten to death by three of their female classmates in the same district libs of tiktok has been targeting. not only is this heartbreaking for us to hear about, but i can’t even begin to imagine what this must be like for the family.
too many trans children have died and too few people are talking about this
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gay-otlc · 3 months
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If a nonbinary person shows the slightest hint of masculnity they get shoved in the boy box, where they will be hated either for being a "trans man" or a "cis man invading queer/trans spaces" based on their (assumed) agab. And then if a nonbinary person shows the slightest hint of femininity they get shoved in the girl box, where they will be hated either for being a "trans woman" or a "cis woman invading queer/trans spaces" based on their (assumed) agab. And if a nonbinary person never ever shows any hints of femininity or masculinity, they are hated anyway and people demand they pick a box to be sorted into.
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arlens-entries · 3 months
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I need other non-binary ppl, especially folks who aren't interested in medical transition, to understand we don't all have the same experience as 'they thems' who only get misgendered according to our agab in public.
I'm a short genderqueer ftm with long hair and a deep voice, I get gendered every way possible. Any pronouns work for me, so misgendering isn't typically on my radar. However, I often experience transmisogyny when I'm read as mtf or transfemme by strangers, and explicit homophobia when I am read as an effeminate cis man. I think some fellow trans people find this 'misplaced' transphobia funny, I have had friends literally laugh in public situations where I’ve become unsafe. And I think allyship of other trans ppl isn’t just acknowledging each other as trans, but considering the safety of certain settings and knowing when not to acknowledge weird comments.
It's not some hilarious moment when someone calls me a woman and 'corrects' themselves when they hear me speak, or a giggly bit when I'm asked to leave for answering a question out loud in a women's bathroom. It's not funny when I get backhanded compliments about being a man and braiding my hair or suprised comments about my choice of formalwear.
These moments aren't affirmations of my masculinizing transition, and strangers being 'wrong' about my presentation and gendering me as a trans woman is not the funniest fucking thing, especially in the presence of my transfemme friends who experience the same backhanded shit I do.
My experience can't be chalked up to binary transphobia because I very much present as a multi-gendered person. I suffer transphobia not because I am androgynous, but because I'm not sometimes.
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ratmans-notebooks · 1 month
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so cool how people can just say whatever vile shit they want about transmascs or even just trans people they assume to be afab and were just supposed to take it as Harmless Jokes
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faggy--butch · 1 month
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I watched some of that video with Nex talking to that cop. The way they described the bullying, and the /constant/ dismissal of abuse, the way they said "They were making fun of us for the way we dress." While i'm sitting here sporting the same outfit. Idk It hit me. I was bullied that way. and Nex fucking died.
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transmascissues · 28 days
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i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.
and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.
i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.
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vaspider · 28 days
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Oh, I finally found out what caused the phone call where a person from a radiology office told me that my insurance "wanted me to change my gender" because it was the wrong gender for me to be getting a uterine ultrasound.
Medicaid knows what the proper gender for me is (it's X. That's what's on my license) and doesn't want me to change it.
The actual problem is that the radiologist's office uses older medical software, and that electronic submission software doesn't have a setting for non-binary people. (In Oregon??? but apparently not.) So the error that it gave in the system is 'you have the wrong gender for this kind of procedure,' even though the actual error is 'our software literally cannot handle your legal information because it doesn't match the gender options in your state.'
I am really good at fighting with insurance companies. It's a fucking shitty thing to have to be good at, but after the past ten years of my life? I'm really good at fighting medical systems. I'm really good at advocating for myself. I'm really good at knowing my rights and knowing when someone is blowing smoke up my ass.
On top of that, I have a case manager who helped me untangle this.
But if I didn't have that? I'd have ended up either paying a bill that I shouldn't have had to pay, or just letting it go to collections and fuck up my credit.
And I shouldn't have to do this. I really shouldn't. I shouldn't have to spend hours patiently saying, "Asking me to change my information to something that is legally false in order to have a bill paid by insurance is the literal definition of insurance fraud, and I will not do it. How else can we get this fixed, in a way that doesn't require me to commit a crime or you to advise me to commit a crime?"
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genderkoolaid · 1 month
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(Source)
On February 8th, this nonbinary child was violently beaten by three cis girls. The school did not call them an ambulance after the beating was stopped, and they later died in the hospital from head trauma. They have also been deadnamed and misgendered in their obituary and in the news. As the author of the article puts it:
How is that not national news? A 16 year old beaten to death in a public school bathroom? By other students. All these unanswered seemingly obvious questions about what transpired, and how the adults involved acted. That should be every headline. In fact, almost every local outlet covering the story misgender and deadnames Nex, using their same assigned at birth. The indignities pile on. We don’t yet know if Nex’s nonbinary identity is directly tied to this incident. But, my God, it sure matters to me that this would happen to any child. A nonbinary kid assaulted in a girl’s bathroom. That outcome from the narrative of anti-trans rhetoric these past years. Still why wasn’t this story breaking news? It involves a nonbinary student in a public school. And school violence and school police resource officers. It involves the deep fear so many trans youth have shared with me about their schools.
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this-is-exorsexism · 2 days
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People implying that nonbinary dysphoria is "never as bad" as the dysphoria binary people can experience.
this is exorsexism.
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was originally just gonna do this for intersex bc i'm intersex, but i decided to also make some for other groups also negatively effected by this
100% free to use 👍
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I hate posts like "support and love trans people especially trans women/fems" or "don't out trans people especially not trans women/fems"
Trans mascs and unaligned nonbinary people are not secondary in deserving of love and support and safety
I understand if you focus your activism on one group over another because there's only so much energy
And I understand if someone is talking about a very specific situation that *does* vastly affect one group more than another
But one group of trans people should not inherently be a lower priority, and if you're bringing both up, you need to not act like one is more deserving of help than another
(I'm not saying trans women are responsible for these posts -- I primarily see them from cis allies though trans people do also make them)
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grabs your face with both my hands. you guys understand that deconstruction of the binary means that the experience of one group does not automatically indicate the reverse experience of another group, right? like. if something happens to trans men it does not mean trans women experience the same but opposite. they are two separate groups who do not intrinsically replicate the experience of cis people. and nonbinary folks can have experiences that both and neither trans men and women have happen to them. the binary is false and so are all implications of it. tell me you understand this.
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