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johannas-motivational-insults · 3 years

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Jo’s Top 10 of 2020

I see lots of artists doing that thing where they post a piece from each month of the year... unfortunately my content creation isn’t necessarily consistent and it’s hard to track what month individual fic chapters were posted in, but I figured I’d do something similar and post my Top 10 pieces of content I created in 2020, what they’re about and why I love them. I actually did get a fair amount done this year thanks to the lockdown, but I’ve narrowed it down to these ten that I’d like to reflect on. (To be fair, I’m probably forgetting something huge. Feel free to leave comments if you think I passed over something important lol.)

10. Friendship in the Horde (meta): This is something I’d wanted to write for a while but finally got around to finishing in February. It’s basically a sociology paper lmao, an analysis of the social hierarchies and systems of the Horde. It was also a convenient excuse for me to gush about Catralonnie, an underrated (friend)ship. But honestly this was an important piece for me because I have always identified with the Horde characters way more than any of the rebels (other than Adora, who grew up in the Horde) and part of why is how they are in an unsafe environment and end up forming relationships that are helpful for survival but hinder them psychologically. And I think to understand the Horde characters and really evaluate their motives and choices you need to understand this first.

9. The Sting in My Eyes: On the surface this is just a run of the mill hurt/comfort oneshot, but it was a really important post-canon processing fic for me. I had a lot of feelings about Catra’s relationships with Shadow Weaver and Melog in season 5, particularly about how Catra must have felt really conflicted after Shadow Weaver told her what she wanted to hear all those years but in a way that felt unearned and out of the blue. It was really cathartic for me to write a scene where she struggles with those mixed feelings but has Adora and Melog to help her process them. And I had long associated the song the title is from with Catra and Shadow Weaver’s relationship, and the way she died trying to redeem herself really solidified that connection.

8. Hail Mary, chapter 6: This was supposed to be a short chapter mostly about the backstory between Catra and Scorpia in this au, with some Catradora yearning thrown in. It evolved into a massive, sprawling thing that is very atmospheric in terms of how the setting and vibes are described and how in the moment it feels. Hail Mary is like that sometimes but that type of narration is usually about football games rather than parties, so this chapter was a fun change of pace in many ways. It was really nostaglic for me to write too, the nerves of being a teenager at a party with your crush and how intense everything feels. And the Scorptra stuff really is delicious, it was nice seeing them have that conversation they never got to have in canon and truly make up, and the tiny sliver I added of Catra’s earlier history was heartbreaking in the best way. So this was not what I intended to write, but it turned out way better for it.

7. A Better Son or Daughter (AMV): I’ve done other Adora AMVs, but this one is really my iconic piece. The song is perfect for Adora, so perfect it’s on Noelle’s Adora playlist. The vid itself is a character study about Adora’s mental health struggles and the way she represses them, as well as a tribute to her resiliency and her eventual triumph of getting to a better place in her life. This is a song that gives me a lot of feelings and once I was making it about Adora it gave me even more, so this was a very satisfying piece to complete. I wish Noelle had gotten a chance to see it but oh well, maybe down the line.

6. Hail Mary, chapter 12: This is the chapter that much of the fic had been building to, Catra and Adora in conflict because Catra finally got the chance to be Adora’s hero and Adora shot her down. It’s painfully analogous to canon, both in terms of how (I suspect) Catra felt in Thaymor and Adora’s tendency to victim blame because she’s so pragmatic. There’s definitely some tones of Taking Control in there but Lonnie does a much better job of examining Catra’s psychology and needs than Glimmer did in canon (a writing error imo, Glimmer should have had more insight). Adora just wants to help but sometimes in her quest to do so she disenfranchises others, and this was a much needed look at that aspect of her character. It’s also an excellent illustration of what it’s like to play a peacekeeping role in an abusive household and how stressful it is trying to protect others while also protecting yourself.

5. Unstoppable (AMV): This is not my favorite Catra AMV I’ve ever done, but it might be the cleverest. The soundtrack is a song about mental illness masquerading as a song about being a bad bitch, which is basically Catra in a nutshell. The lyrics are incredibly fitting for her and her arc as it develops over seasons 1-4. The vid itself takes a hard turn in the interpretation of the lyrics, going from talking about how no one can stop Catra to how she can’t stop herself because she’s in such a terrible sunk cost fallacy spiral, and I think I got several death threats over that twist lmao. As someone who primarily deals in angst, there’s hardly a better compliment to be paid.

4. Demons, chapter 31: This one got real dark on me. The concept of this chapter was originally an examination of how comparing abuse can get really dicey but you also have to respect that other people have had different experiences from you and you have to be careful not to equate things or make it sound like you’re talking over someone else. I guess it’s also a bit of a look at how autistic people (like myself) will often explain why they can empathize so others know they understand rather than saying empty platitudes, but that can come off as insensitive or like they’re making things about them. I mean, in this case Adora kinda was making things about her, but she was provoked into it by a parade of comments insinuating she didn’t suffer at all, which was also unfair. Anyway it’s one of the more important Catradora fights in Demons and something I’d written bits of over a year prior, it was that important to the plot, but it also took a turn I was not originally planning. I finished the chapter when I was in a really bad depressive and self-loathing spiral and that bled onto the page, but it worked perfectly for Catra in this scenario... that push and pull of feeling like the world has hurt and victimized you mixed with knowing you’ve done some bad things yourself and feeling like you don’t have a leg to stand on when mourning the ways you’ve been hurt. It’s intense as all fuck but it’s excellent.

3. Hail Mary, chapter 11: Speaking of dark Catra content, this chapter... whew. It was really something else, to read and to write. I have written flashbacks in Demons that are more detailed and even include explicit violence but because those scenes are always in flashback form I never really got the chance to sit in the head of an abuse victim waiting for the other shoe to drop for an entire chapter like I did here. It’s quite different from the rest of Hail Mary stylistically and is both highly sensory and extremely internalized. It took me back to some terrifying moments in my own life so it was difficult but also extremely cathartic to write. It’s important too because it really sets up where Catra was at mentally heading into her big fight with Adora, and that chapter is in Adora POV. This chapter is ranked so high simply because it’s... polished, as @malachi-walker put it. It almost is its own story within the story and really noteworthy as a piece all its own.

2. Demons, chapter 26: This chapter is very similar thematically to Hail Mary 12, just based in the canonverse. It deals with one of the core (but highly neglected by fandom) conflicts between Catra and Adora, where they both need to feel like they can take care of and protect the other but also detest feeling weak or vulnerable themselves. It leads to Adora’s ego making Catra feel disrespected and Catra’s behavior confusing Adora and making her think she’s an ungrateful brat rather than someone who needs so badly to be needed, just like her. There’s definitely some power struggles in this chapter but finally they’re able to get to the heart of it and seeing them talk it out is so satisfying. Getting this chapter published was also important to me on a personal level because, like I said, this aspect of their conflict and relationship is rarely acknowleged for how important it is when really it’s one of the deepest conflicts between them in the series. It’s a scene I started writing pretty much as soon I knew I was extending the fic into something longer because I just needed them to have this conversation, so finishing it was so satisfying.

1. Satisfaction, chapter 3: This chapter took me a really long time to write, both in terms of time to get it published and time I actually spent working on it. It’s the crown jewel of a fic that’s really important to me and I had to get it just right, so I spent more time agonizing over every detail and rewriting things to get them absolutely perfect than I usually do (I’m a perfectionist anyway, but this took it to a whole other level). But in the end it was worth it, because this chapter is damn fine. It’s really hot, as you’d expect from a smut fic, but it’s also an excellent character study of how both Catra and Adora were affected by their abuse and trauma and the issues it raises for them in terms of sex and intimacy. Also, come on, we need more BDSM fics out there that focus on the actual point of it all (the trust involved) and promote communication and do the character work to explain why they might be into it in the first place.

BONUS (from December 31, 2019): One of my favorite pieces of 2020 technically came out in 2019, but I posted it on New Years Eve so most people first saw it in 2020. It’s an absolute banger of an AMV called I’m Not Jesus that’s all about Catra and Adora’s anger towards Shadow Weaver and their refusal to forgive their abuser. Funny enough this came out before Adora’s iconic “I will never forgive you” line, and Shadow Weaver definitely made things more complicated with how she went out, but I think the sentiment still applies.

#2020 recap #happy new year #writing #vidding #fanfic #spop #catradora #demons #hail mary #satisfaction #the sting in my eyes #a better son/daughter #unstoppable #i’m not jesus

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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years

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A story by heroes and villains

Book 2: secrets revealed Virgil Anker: trust and caution

Masterlist book 1

It's not easy to know who to trust and who to be wary off. But Virgil better learn soon.

When Virgil got back to the new house, he took a shower and sat himself on the couch in his pj’s. He was listening to his ‘winding down’ playlist. He was grinning to himself. Someone else was wearing his design. Sure he’d made Janus a shirt way back in freshmen year, but he barely wore it outside the house. This would be seen by tons of people. And it looked so good! He couldn’t wait till Monday. He could imagine Roman’s reaction. Would there be pictures in the papers? On the news? He just might buy a paper so he could keep a clipping to look back on later. Thinking about gushing over the costume with Roman at school made him think about seeing Janus again. J had skipped school after what happened in the hallway, leading to him having detention all of last week. He hadn’t even so much as looked at Virgil since. Not in a, “I am mad and ignoring you way,”. He looked ashamed. Scared. That was what made it so hard for Virgil to stick to his plan. Janus looked so hurt and lost and ashamed. And during lunch, he was nowhere to be found. Virgil needed to talk to Picani about this tomorrow. It would be a busy session. He contemplated where things had gone wrong for the millionth time for a while until he heard the door and looked up to see his fathers enter the room. “You’re back!” he greeted as he sat up. “So I gotta know, who’s your fourth guy?” he wondered casually. His dad just looked at him confused. “What do you mean?” “For your poker nights,” he clarified with a chuckle. Imagining Patton or uncle Thomas playing poker was kind of funny. It seemed so out of character for them. Still he couldn’t imagine what else would take all three of them getting together like this. Thomas had taught musical theatre classes, back when he was still a professor, and now he was the dean. Then again, Virgil wasn’t certain his uncle was always present. Tonight might just have been one time he happened to be there. But Patton definitely had been part of this project as much as Logan was. The past six months at the very least, but most likely from the start. “No cardgames I’m afraid kiddo. We’ll tell you about the project once it’s finished. It’s all confidential for now I’m afraid,” Patton told him gently. Virgil looked long and hard at Patton. He wasn’t lying. And confidential stuff made a lot of sense. He shrugged, letting it go. Even if his first guess was right after all and his dad was doing some kind of superhero stuff as BrainStorm, if Patton was there to help him Virgil felt assured that they’d be safe. Though he wouldn’t know how Patton, or Thomas, got wrapped up with anything involving a former super villain. “Okay, keep your secrets,” he sighed as he stretched. “Night Pat, night Lo,” he bid before heading upstairs. “Goodnight Virgil, I love you.” Virgil looked back at his dad when he heard that. “Love you to dad,” he replied with a smile. “Love you three kiddo!” Patton added, making Virgil laugh. “Love ya Pat.” And with that he went upstairs to his room. His new room was bigger than the one in his old house. But he didn’t care much about that. His old room had memories. He missed it honestly. He started to worry that he’d been too quick to say that he wanted to move out. No matter how nice the new house was, and how conveniently it was positioned, it would never quite be like the one he’d known most of his life. He let himself drop on his bed. It was pointless to think about that now. At this point, another family had probably moved into their old home. They’d brought their own furniture. Probably painted over the walls. Erasing the little doodles he’d made when he was little and bored. Before his mind could go any farther down that path, he heard a buzzing. Roman sent him a text. “Greetings! I just got back. Sorry for not checking in earlier. Could not be helped. Did you get home alright?” Virgil chuckled and texted back. “LOL. You worry too much. Hope you had a fun night.” Virgil certainly did. Just thinking about it made him impatient. Oh why not? Before he could second guess himself, he pressed call. “Virgil?” Roman sounded surprised, but Virgil was already way to giddy about his news. “I had to tell you now. I saw him!” he whispered. “Who? And why are we whispering?” Roman asked, mimicking his volume. “I’m supposed to be asleep,” he admitted, earning himself a chuckle. “Ok… Who did you see?” Roman asked. “Dream Prince!” expecting the logical next question he edited his story a little. “I went for a walk and I guess he was doing patrol in my neighborhood, I caught a glimpse of him,” well, that was an understatement. But he couldn’t tell Roman everything. Not yet. He’d lectured Prince about being cautious just today. He trusted Roman. But anyone could overhear them at any time. “He was wearing my costume! You were right! I can’t wait to get a good look at it in action!” Again. “You think someone got a picture? I didn’t have a chance. God I should’ve taken a picture so I could show you!” Though he wasn’t sure if he could’ve managed to get a believable citizens picture of him. He doubted Prince could be photographed if he didn’t want to be. “I’m sure I’ll see your work plastered around the front pages Monday. Pretty sure you missed out on the Saturday edition. But the news stations might talk about it.” Virgil’s cheeks hurt from smiling. “You sure you don’t want your name attached to it?” Virgil considered that for a moment. It would be kind of cool, he supposed. But he was trying not to draw any attention to his civilian self so long as he did the vigilante gig. Asides from that, he didn’t want anyone to be able to claim any of his future successes were due to his connection to a superhero, or have expectations based on this one work. “Yeah… I just… I know I should want the credit. But, just in case he becomes like this big time hero,” which seemed very likely to Virgil. His powers were pretty amazing and he had the personality to make it big. “I don’t want my possible career to be defined before it starts, you know what I mean?” He hoped he did, because he was starting to get confused by his own phrasing. “Maybe I’ll come forth with the original sketch when I’m like, 30, to prove it was me if it still matters by then,” he concluded. “Sounds like a smart plan. I’m going to let you go. I do need my beauty sleep after all.” Oh, he made it too easy. “You said it, not me,” he chuckled. “Night Princey.” “Buenas noches. Mi querido amigo,” Roman replied dramatically. Virgil rolled his eyes. Though he smiled as he realized Roman just called him ‘dear friend’. Trying to hide the way that warmed his chest he let out a groan. “Bon nuit,” he huffed in retaliation before hanging up. Janus had taught him a bit of French over the years. And just like that his thoughts returned to his old friend. Janus had been well behaved the past week. He hadn’t gotten in a single fight. Maybe he should try and show that he noticed. Just saying ‘hi’ wouldn’t be that bad right? Show that he meant it when he said he wanted to get back to being friends, real friends, at some point. With thoughts of a happy ending for everyone, Virgil fell asleep. The next morning he woke up early. He made sure to be quiet as he got ready for the day. Once downstairs he turned on the tv. And sure enough, the local station was talking about Dream Prince. A professional picture of him leaping across the street from one rooftop to another serving as background. The anchors were talking about his heroic deeds of last night, ranging from walking a girl home to taking down those criminals ‘single handedly’. “No one can deny it. This young hero finds no feat too great or too small, and he does it with style. Looks like he’s settled on a look.” They thought his costume had style! Virgil was vibrating with excitement. He couldn’t sit still. He had to do something with all this energy. He started on breakfast. Bacon, eggs… It had been a while since he’d felt up to making a big breakfast and been the first to wake up. Patton was as much of an early riser as he and Logan. Which meant he hadn’t had Virgil’s secret omelet recipe yet. He was bouncing on his feet as the two anchors were analyzing the costume in as much detail as they could. They found the heels a bold choice and the mask an elegant way to incorporate a crown. When Virgil heard his dads move about upstairs he turned the news off and set the table. Patton really liked the eggs. That or he really wanted Virgil to think so. Three servings made him think that it wasn’t pretend though. After breakfast, uncle Thomas picked him up for their trip to the zoo. Virgil had been looking forward to it. It felt forever ago since he last spent some one on one time with his honorary uncle. “That’s a nice one. You really got the eyes down well,” he complemented as Virgil finished a sketch of a koala. “Thanks,” Virgil said, pretty happy with the result as well. “You are really talented. Guess it runs in the family. I remember your dad scribbling away in his poetry notebook all the time.” Virgil looked at his uncle with wide eyes. “You knew my father?” he asked perplexed. Thomas frowned down at him for a moment before his eyes widened in understanding. “Oh, no. I never personally met your birthfather. I meant Logan,” he clarified. Virgil was a little disappointed. For a second he’d hoped to learn a little more about his birthparents. But if Thomas had been talking about Logan… “My dad wrote poetry?” Thomas chuckled. “Yeah. He was pretty good. Though he’d disagree. He felt more comfortable using his sharp tongue on the debate team. He won us some prizes,” he recalled. Virgil took this in. He had wondered what his dad was like at his age before. Now was a good time to ask more. “So poetry and debate team… Guess that is why you two became friends, huh?” he asked. Thomas shook his head a little awkwardly. “Not exactly. With my social anxiety I probably wouldn’t have approached him if my mom hadn’t told me about his mom losing custody…” “What!?” Virgil gasped. He never knew that. Thomas cringed realizing he had maybe said to much. He looked down at Virgil. “Your grandparents weren’t parents of the year. Not abusive, but… neglectful I suppose. Logan never talked about it, so I don’t know the details. Just what little ” “He was in the system?” Virgil asked with a shiver. He’d heard about the system. He was glad he never had to experience it. “No, like for you there was someone ready to take him in right away,” Thomas told him. Virgil wanted to ask who had adopted his dad. But he had an idea… And he kind of didn’t want to hear he was wrong. He wanted it to be his parents. It would explain why Logan had such a hard time talking about them, but had so much love and respect for them when he did. “What was it like rooming with him? Was he secretly a slob in college?” he asked hopefully. Thomas relaxed and started talking about a few college stories, though he quickly veered into high school and early parenthood stories. At the end of the day Virgil had a good handful of animal sketches, an idea for his art project for the semester and Thomas dropped him off at Picani’s office. “Hello Virgil. How are you today? I heard you had a good scare earlier this week.” Virgil let out a deep sigh, sat down and started his story. Leaving Picani’s office a little bit later than planned, he felt a lot better. Or, well ‘better’ never had been the right word. He’d realized that sometime during the camp. After talking about Picani about what bothered him, he was still bothered by it. But he understood things more clearly. He felt less confused and had an idea of what to do about it. Picani never told him everything would be okay. He helped him understand what was wrong and how to either steer it in a better direction, or learn to live with it. He now felt less uncertain about wanting to give Janus a sign that there was still hope for them, even after what happened last week. He felt less guilty over indulging the people asking him out even though Roman was still very much on his mind. He even felt better about getting more information than he should’ve from uncle Thomas. It had been a relief talking about his theory that his dad had been in his parent’s custody for at least four years and that that was, maybe, the reason why he took him in when they passed. And the fact that he had at least one set of grandparents that might be still alive. He wasn’t going to ask about them though. If they held bad memories for his dad, he didn’t think he wanted to know them. It was very low on his list of priorities. The fact that his dad never mentioned them told him enough. The whole scare with the ceiling lamp was discussed and Picani left it alone when Virgil said that he didn’t want to waste too much time on it. “I’m home!” he announced as he came through the door. He heard Patton call a greeting from the kitchen and saw his dad come from the living room to meet him in the doorway. “Dad!” he called out eagerly as he gave his father a hug. “Virgil? Not that I do not appreciate you seem excited to see me. But is there a particular reason?” There were a few honestly. Knowing a bit more about how he ended up being raised by the smartest, most patient man he’d ever met had him excited. On top of that knowing what his dad was like at his age made him feel closer to him. He decided to focus on the latter. He’d turn sixteen soon. If Logan hadn’t initiated the conversation by then, he would. He could be patient for another month. “Uncle Thomas told me about your teen years. I didn’t know you were on the debate team!” he told him. He could imagine his dad thriving in that environment though. Maybe they should check out the debate team this year in between Roman’s play and Virgil’s art exhibit. Logan gave Virgil a small smile, a bit of pride in his eyes. It was rare for Virgil to see his dad proud of himself. He liked it. “Well, yes. It was a bit of a hobby of mine, as well as an attempt to get better at socializing,” Logan said modestly. Virgil picked up on the operative word in that sentence. ‘Attempt’. “You were a socially awkward nerd,” he concluded with a chuckle. He was so used to being nothing like his dad. Finding flaws and similarities to himself in the man he’d idolized as long as he could remember, it was strangely exhilarating. Logan, however seemed to misunderstand what had Virgil so thrilled. “Hey, that’s a complement! I’m a socially awkward artsy kid. Sounds like I’m your son after all!” he clarified. That reminded him though. “Speaking off. Uncle Thomas told me you wrote poetry back in the day.” “Really!?” Patton exclaimed from the kitchen. Logan was blushing. Scrambling for a way out of the conversation it seemed. “I… Experimenting with different forms of self-expression is a natural part of discovering one’s identity as a teenager. It was a phase. I would like to forget about it.” Virgil was about to argue against it, but Patton beat him to it. “Aw, but poetry is so romantic,” he pouted. And Virgil could see the way that affected his dad. Well, their date nights were about to get ten times more sappy. Hopefully going for the heart, and his ego, would work out just as well for Virgil. “That’s too bad. I thought I could make a project around your old work for art class,” he sighed disappointedly. And just like that his dad’s firm posture melted away. “I’ll see if I can find some of my old notebooks. Just ask my consent before you pick one.” Virgil couldn’t resist hugging him again. “Thanks dad. You won’t regret it. I promise.” He felt his father put his arms around him gently. A wordless “you’re welcome”. Virgil was feeling very chatty during dinner and so told his parents all about his day. They had to go to the university again tonight. Since Virgil was planning on meeting up with Prince and not sure if he’d be out all night or just long enough to talk to the guy, he bid them both a good night now. Just in case he’d be too tired to wait for them to get home once he got back. As soon as they were out the door Virgil dug in his closet for his face mask, something he wore when he was feeling sick and didn’t want to infect others. And his shades. He was going to take a chance on Prince today. He made sure he had his evidence at the ready. He’d updated it earlier that week and last night he hadn’t learned anything new. He decided to go with the same look as yesterday so Prince would recognize him more easily. He made his way to the street and vanished in the alleys. After a few minutes he found the rooftop they’d used as their rendezvous point last night. Hopefully Prince wouldn’t make him wait too long. He lowered the intensity of his cloak to be more easily spotted should someone be looking for him. Suddenly he heard a sound behind him. “Good evening my shadowy friend,” the grand voice of Dream Prince drifted through the air. Virgil turned around, his coat flaring out with the movement. “Hey there highness,” he greeted as he tossed him the evidence bag. Clear of any fingerprints or DNA as far as he could manage it, as usual. Prince studied it for a moment. “Is this…?” he sounded surprised. “A show of good will. I thought about it…” not enough. Maybe he was biased because he reminded him of Roman. Or because he’d seen him during his training wheel days. Maybe he didn’t want to be alone anymore. “You seem alright. I’ll… I’ll have your back. If you have mine.” They could help each other. Grow stronger together. Weren’t heroes always at their strongest once they learned to work together? “You do know that if I hand this in, they’ll know I made contact?” This guy. Virgil chuckled, finding this strangely endearing. “You mean you haven’t told them yet?” Prince’s posture straightened almost defiantly. “You didn’t say you were alright with that!” Was he actually insulted by the idea of reporting back to his people without Virgil’s permission? Guess he’d read him right. Good to know. “Okay. Well, consider this my permission. If I don’t want to be found, I’ll disappear Prince.” He’d find a way to avoid Prince if it was necessary. “Tell the chief all communication with me goes through you. If you don’t mind.” Because Virgil didn’t trust the chief enough to go anywhere near her. Prince nodded as he reached for his ear. “I am currently debriefing Phantom. I’ll let you know when I’m done here. Tell chief I’ll stop by with a package. Radio silence until further notice.” Virgil couldn’t stop himself from letting out a chuckle. This guy. He really needed to be more careful. “You ever thought I might be a bad guy? You shouldn’t cut off your back up like that in front of me.” Had they taught him nothing at the GTH? “You’ve had plenty chances to take me out,” Prince pointed out, much to Virgil’s surprise. “You could have let those goons get me the first time you saw me. You could have attacked me while I was busy with those guys yesterday. And who knows how many times over the summer. And on top of that. Who says my communicator is my only way of contacting back up?” Okay, so maybe Prince knew what he was doing after all. “Fair enough. So what now?” He had no idea what would come after this. He just knew that Prince reached out, and he’d accepted. The ball was back in Prince’s court. “Now… I warn you about the collector.” That sounded very serious. He almost wanted to get out before he could get involved, but a gut feeling told him that this was important. He eyed the edge of the roof. Well might as well get comfortable. “I feel like this is a sitting down kind of conversation.” Once they both sat down, Virgil put on his sunglasses and dropped his cloak completely. It was symbolic or whatever. Letting his guard down in a visible way. He turned to the prince expectantly, a little annoyed at how the dark glasses limited his vision. Prince took in a deep breath and started his story. “The collector is an old enemy of Manifestor. He recruits Gifted, and those he thinks deserve to be gifted for some kind of revolution. You and I are probably his kind of people. Young, full of potential. All that stuff creeps like that love to go on about.” Virgil’s eyes widened. That did sound bad. He was suddenly very glad he had not confided in anyone about his powers so far. Who knew if the Chief was on the Collector’s payroll? Or maybe Picani was being spied on. “So we should be careful, you and I. I want to help you out,” Prince told him as he offered him two small objects. A stone and lip balm? “These can help you hide your identity without having to use your… Do you have a name for it?” Prince wondered. Virgil wasn’t sure if he could disguise his voice. But if he did, he was not going to risk Prince being someone from school who might recognize his voice. “Cloak,” he replied before dropping his guard again. “Cloak… Cool,” Prince nodded as he showed the black stone. “So this, is a voice modulator. I adjusted it to fit your tempest voice as best as I could.” Virgil couldn’t help laughing. Tempest voice? That sounded so cool honestly. But man was it dramatic. “You clearly have not heard it,” Prince pointed out and he had a point. He sounded normal to himself. “What’s with the lipstick?” he asked. “This will paint your hair black faster than any hair dye. It’s also a very good hair gel and it washes out right away,” Virgil bit his lip as Prince offered him the items. He was not used to being helped. Not as ‘Phantom’ at least. He still struggled with it as Virgil. Letting Roman help him with his English assignment yesterday had been hard. But he had to let people help him. He had to take a leap of faith here. So he took the items and got up to try them out. “No peeking!” he warned, though he would keep his cloak up. It was more to test if Prince would be tempted to go against his wishes. He didn’t. Virgil placed the modulator on his throat where Prince had his red stone and applied the balm to his hair. He spread it out and took a moment to decide on the style he wanted to go with. He tried for windblown, though he wasn’t sure if he did it right without a mirror. “Okay, let’s try this,” he said testing out his new voice. Wow, if that was what he really sounded like then Tempest voice might just have been the most accurate description. He looked back at Prince who was getting up and waling over to him. “Okay. So… what’s the plan?” he asked, curious what Prince was expecting out of this collaboration. “Well… We could try and meet up here regularly. We might not always patrol at the same time, and you might be busy. But I could… If you are okay with it… I could help you coordinate with the cops. Like you kinda suggested earlier. Or we could like, do some patrolling together? Keep each other company…” Oh, that was cute. Prince could be insecure. Virgil was starting to think he was unshakable. “It might be nice talking someone who gets it you know? You’re my age right?” he wondered. Nice try. Very subtle. “I mean… I guess, but I’m not sure how old you are exactly,” he shrugged casually. He wasn’t going to give anything away that easily. “Fair point.” Or maybe there hadn’t been an ulterior motive. He was getting paranoid. “Anyway… What do you want?” Virgil thought about that for a moment. He hadn’t expected to be asked for his opinion. “I mean… Debriefings sound cool,” he said casually. “I’d like to patrol with you, but my parkour is no match to that walking on air trick you got…” He was kind of jealous of that one if he was honest. “I was thinking of hanging around the clubbing district at the end of the night and making sure some party goers get home safe. I’ll see you around there when you’re done?” This talk was fun and all, but Prince should probably check in with his team soon. And Virgil needed to think about things for a minute. “That sounds like a good idea,” Prince agreed as he gave him a bow. “Until then. Know that the GTA’s resources are now at your disposal through me. So if you want to get a proper suit or other fun toys, you need only ask.” And with that Virgil’s new ally sprinted of into the night. A real suit huh? Virgil shook his head. He’d have to think on that some more. For now, he had work to do.

Hero au

@cirishere @hestianerd1 @moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @frida0043 @angelic-cali @selenechris @theblackveilinreverse

#sanders sides #ts sides #hero au #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #prinxiety #logicality

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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years

Note

I wanna just thank you for being here for everyone to vent to for the last week or so. I feel like such an idiot for even believing we might have got a satisfying ending, but knowing everyone else feels just as betrayed and hurt as me helps 😭 I still feel like I’m in a state of shock to be honest - like you said as bad as I thought it could be, that was worse 😩 I love and appreciate your fics and can’t wait for a fix it one (when you feel like you’re ready). Love a fellow crushed Lizzington shipper x

PS: as depressing as it is, I’ve been finding solace in listening to my Lizzington playlist and I was wondering if you had any songs you’d recommend me adding to it? Ones that particularly remind you of them (possibly from a happier time in S1-3?)

Oh, sweet anon 😭 You are too kind!! It has truly been my pleasure to be a part of this fandom - always, but especially in these last few weeks... We have always been such a passionate bunch & that has only intensified since things came to a head. It has been a pleasure to answer asks & make posts & write fics... I'm just so happy you all enjoy my stupid content 🥲 And please don't feel bad!! We were all hoping for something akin to a happy ending... I think it was a cruel combination of expectations for Megan's last ep, baseless baiting from the promo, & a misplaced hope that TPTB would be capable of writing something decent to wrap up this "arc" & not... a fucking undeserved Shakespearean tragedy. Rest assured, it is NOT our fault, anon ❤️ But I know what you mean, it helps to mourn with this group of lovely people & not feel alienated in our grief, that is definitely true!! 🥺 I'm still in a state of shock too... I think my brain is oscillating between mourning everything & completely rejecting what we saw. It makes it hard to process things & even harder to remember that the show is so unceremoniously over for us. It sucks 😭

And ahhh, you are so sweet, anon, I'm so honored you like my fics & you're looking forward to my fix-it stuff!! I have some ideas that I think have potential but I've also been tentative... I'm trying to let my emotions settle, but not lose the intensity we're still reeling from, bc that will be a big part of the first fic, I think. I'm looking to start asap & I hope you'll like it when it's done, which will hopefully be soon ❤️

And omg, no shade in finding solace in Lizzington music!! I've been doing much the same 🥺 My music taste is super subjective & varied - I think my "Lizzington songs" tend to include whatever I'm listening to whenever I'm thinking of them which is always & not necessarily songs that are inherently Lizzington in nature, & they're probably all pretty angsty, but I will give you some suggestions nonetheless!! ❤️ (I'll put them below a cut bc it turned into a lot of links lol whoops 😅) Anyway, I want to thank you so much for this ask, anon, you are truly so sweet. I'm so thankful to hear from a fellow crushed Lizzington shipper 🥲 Thank you again, hang in there & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

For seasons 1-3 recs: (& these come mostly from popular/my fav Lizzington fanvids at the time... I will link those where I can, they are 1000% worth watching):

Til Enda by Olafur Arnolds (fanvid)

So Close by Olafur Arnolds (fanvid)

Sad Girl by Lana Del Rey (fanvid)

Be Together by Major Lazer (fanvid)

Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray (fanvid)

Hypnotic by Zella Day (fanvid)

#icanteven by The Neighbourhood (fanvid)

Clarity by Zedd (fanvid)

White Blank Page by Mumford & Sons (fanvid)

Earned It by The Weeknd (fanvid)

Crazy in Love cover by Kadebostany (fanvid)

Bloodsport by Raleigh Ritchie (fanvid)

Beautiful Days by Venus (fanvid)

No Trace by Ms Mr (fanvid)

Hurricane by Ms Mr

I Found by Amber Run

Take Me To Church by Hozier

More recently, these are my go-to Lizzington songs: (for no reason other than an anon recommended Starset & I had Lizzington on the brain while listening for the first time 🥲 The acoustic versions are also lovely! I based fics off the others.)

Die For You by Starset

Starlight by Starset

Satellite by Starset

Ricochet by Starset

Side by Pentatonix

Crave You (Adventure Club Remix) by Flight Facilities

Crave You by Flight Facilities

Carve You by Robinson

stardew by Purity Ring

almanac by Purity Ring

On Board by Joshua Burnside & Alana Henderson

That's all I can think of at the moment, anon!! I hope you like some of these!! Much love!! ❤️

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #thoughts #headcanons #songs #8.22 #mine #ask #anon #what a sweet ask anon #thank you so much for complimenting me and commiserating with me #i hope you like these song suggestions and the bonus fanvids #much much love to you my friend #<3

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 5 years

Text

Villainous Heroics - Chapter 16

Okay, so I lied. This is now going to be twenty chapters, but I didn't want to rush the ending since you guys deserve so much more! I hope you enjoy because now we're really reaching the climax of the story!

Enjoy!

Click here to read the work on Archive Of Our Own.

Click here to read the work on Fan Fiction Net.

⍣ I have a Patreon! NOW UPDATED!!⍣ ☪ I have a tip jar! Buy me a coffee!☪

Summary: Eraserhead is an underground hero who is constantly busy and doesn’t have time to be dealing with new villains - even if they aren’t all that villainous and make the night interesting.

Present Mic is the latest up-and-coming villain in the world and he has a point to prove to everyone out there - as long as he doesn’t keep getting distracted by Eraserhead.

Aizawa Shota is someone who soon learns that there is more to someone than the mask they show to the world - especially when it comes to playing heroes and villains.

Yamada Hizashi learns that there is more to heroics and villainy than he could have ever thought - especially in a world where some heroes still care about those lost in the shadows.

(Inspired and dedicated to corndog-patrol’s Villain!Mic AU on Tumblr.)

<<First/Chapter>> <<Last Chapter>> <<Next Chapter>>

Chapter Sixteen

“And that, listeners, concludes the story of how pro hero Midnight and I managed to level an entire warehouse building together! I feel sort of bad she got stuck with all the paperwork, but we did swap phone numbers! I’ll be sure to tell you all about the drama she has to share with me, listeners, but unfortunately that’ll have to wait until next week’s show!”

Hizashi smiled to himself as he clicked around on his laptop, starting up the end of the night playlist that he had uploaded to his hosting site the night before. It had taken a lot of learning from his mistakes, but Hizashi liked to think that he had his solo radio career down to an artform. The trick was to broadcast from an empty building and then leave before his signal could be tracked down. So far, he had only almost been caught!

“Remember that next week is all about pro heroes! Email us at our website with all your wild stories about your hero interactions. Did you meet your childhood hero? Did they live up to all the hype? Did they not live up to it? Send in your stories and remember to keep those hands up as we end another night and start another beautiful morning! My name is Present Mic and here’s to all the heroes and herolets keeping us safe out there! Good night and good morning, Japan!”

Cutting out his microphone volume while slowly increasing the volume of the playlist, Hizashi smiled to himself as the comment wall filled with positive and excited feedback as always. If his villain career didn’t work out there was at least the chance he could actually get his own radio station. Then again, he doubted anyone sane would trust a radio station to someone with a voice quirk like his.

Running through his routine of disconnecting his equipment and tucking it away in a messenger bag, it was only ten minutes before Hizashi was walking down the street with his hair down and in a half-bun, his undercover pair of ‘normal’ sunglasses on, and a brown leather jacket. All of it together made him look like just another civilian among millions.

Feeling his phone buzz, Hizashi dug it out and glanced down, half expecting a co-worker asking him to take on another shift. Instead it was Midnight with a simple message of, ‘Great work on your show tonight!!’

‘Thanks!!!’ Even if it was a lie to try and gain his trust so she could ‘turn him good,’ Hizashi still appreciated the kind words. ‘Shouldn’t you be asleep???’

‘Um this coming from the guy who just hosted a late night radio show??’ ‘Lol no I had a late patrol and teamed up with Eraser.’ ‘He was listening too.’ ‘Don’t tell him but I saw him smile a lot tonight.’

‘Of course! My radio show is the absolute best after all!!’ Even as he blustered through the text with a Present Mic attitude, Hizashi couldn’t stop the flush from spreading across his cheeks as he thought about Aizawa listening and enjoying his show. Aizawa…

It had been a little over a week since The Moment and they had yet to see each other since then. Hizashi knew a part of it came from the uptick in villain attacks over the past week, but that still didn’t make the separation any harder. Hizashi hadn’t even seen him in the coffee shop in the mornings! He supposed a part of that was due to the fact Aizawa lived on the school campus, now, but Hizashi had still seen him from time to time after he had moved.

Maybe… Had he regretted that moment? It was possible, wasn’t it, that Aizawa… No. Hizashi knew how bad the world was and how easy it was for the worst to happen, but Aizawa had kissed him first. He had kissed back, and he had been as unwilling to let go as Hizashi had been. Hizashi knew he had problems when it came to hoping and believing in the best, but he wouldn’t let himself doubt Aizawa. Not after how far they had come. Not after seeing how sweetly that man could smile.

Right. He needed to get his mind off of all of this. Pausing at a crosswalk, Hizashi glanced around the busy distract. He had wandered towards the edges of his area where the dark parts started blending back into the more middle-class district, the streets filled with indulgent mothers, busy businessman, and laughing students on their way to school. The air was alive and filled with energy and it did more to perk Hizashi up than any cup of coffee could.

It was too easy to let himself get caught up in the flow of the city, only stopping when he saw an open stall of the most recent magazines. Considering his next radio show would be about heroes and hero gossip, it wouldn’t hurt to start doing a bit of research ahead of time.

“You look like a man interested in heroes!” Ah, the stall owner didn’t waste any time, did he? “I got all the latest issues of the biggest hero magazines - I even have one dedicated to the new rising heroes of the day!”

“Rising heroes?” Hizashi ducked closer and picked up one of the magazines, flipping through it to see that it was one of the larger publishing companies in Japan. They had a high reputation and were very rarely wrong in any of the news they reported. “They seem to multiply every year, huh?” And not always for the right reasons.

“Recent as of just a few days ago,” the owner chirped. “There’s actually a few familiar names cropping up already if you’ve been watching the news. You know that Present Mic one, right?”

“What?” Hizashi’s head snapped up, the man waving at the magazine and already moving on to a gaggle of girls that had lingered for a second too long at the other end of the stall. “Oi, what do you mean Present Mic!”

Not getting an answer, Hizashi turned back to the magazine, near ripping it open as he scanned the pages. Half of it was ad space as usual, but there, in the main article, was a picture of him at one of the raids he had helped Midnight on. He was in full costume with a wide smile, the accompanying article talking about the new rising hero that was Present Mic.

Considering he himself was dressed down with his hair half pulled up in a bun and his glasses that were near normal besides a light tint, he didn’t feel anything like how he looked in the picture. “This is ridiculous! Don’t they get that I’m a villain?”

The article went in depth about the assist he had been giving to other pro heroes and the way he had helped on the Trigger case that had swept the nation. It made him sound amazing, but the truth was that he had just been lending a hand. He hadn’t really gone in wanting to be seen as a hero, but… It wasn’t like villain was an accurate word anymore.

“Yeah, Present Mic is the coolest new hero!” Startling at the words, Hizashi scrunched up the magazine as he jolted, near hiding behind it as he glanced behind him to see two school age girls talking about him.

“Are you kidding? All Might is still the coolest hero ever.” Well, yes, but All Might was All Might. Even if Hizashi didn’t agree with the system, he knew that All Might had changed the way the world saw heroes. He had done a lot of good for the country.

“Nuh-uh! Mic is way cooler!” Hizashi felt his heart speed up as he realized that there was someone out there who thought he was a hero - and one that they admired, at that.

“You just like him because he has a voice quirk like you do,” the girl’s friend laughed, the girl who had first spoken huffing and crossing her arms with a dramatic pout.

“Maybe I do! He may be new, but he’s already my hero-! Ah! We’re going to be late!” The two girls were gone as quick as they had appeared, disappearing into the crowds of people as Hizashi stared after them with a crumpled magazine, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he was somebody’s hero.

People were starting to see him as a hero. It was something he had dreamed of when he was younger and still believed a hero would save him, but he had given up that dream when he realized nobody was coming to save him. Then again… A hero had come to save him.

It was a dream that he had abandoned so long ago, but Eraserhead had told him differently. Aizawa Shouta had told him that he could be a hero - he had told him that as a hurt civilian and as a renegade villain. Everyone said he was a hero, but could Hizashi really call himself something that he wasn’t?

There was a reason he called himself a villain and not a vigilante. The system was broken. Hizashi knew how broken this entire system of pro heroes was. The system had shattered long ago, but…

It wasn’t wrong of him to still want to help people, was it? If people called him a hero and called him their hero… It wasn’t wrong to want to try to be worthy of that.

Right?

“Well, Present Mic, I suppose this explains why you were never interested in my offer. Leave it to my luck to try and push my product off on a hero.” The words were cultured and smooth and came from a voice and face that could be easily forgettable. It was that easy forgettability that made Hizashi realize just how badly he had fucked up.

“Aw, come on, can’t we let bygones be bygones here?” Hizashi spread his hands wide and gave his most winning smile, heart pounding and tripping into overtime as he tried to figure out just how he had gotten into this mess. “I was just passing through!”

“And in passing through I see you managed to break the nose of one of my men.” The Trigger dealer that he had dealt with months ago was adjusting his cufflinks and looking a mixture of bored and disappointed. It was that total disinterest that had Hizashi’s blood boiling considering he had stumbled upon him and a group of men attempting to kidnap children straight out of an orphanage.

He had been too distracted. Hizashi’s thoughts hadn’t left that conversation he overheard about a girl calling him her hero and he had strayed too far from his usual route. Now he was in the part of his area that bordered on the more proper areas - which was why this was so horrifying. It was broad daylight and Hizashi had appeared when men were roughing up the caretakers and gathering children up like they were nothing more than some scared puppies.

He had charged forward just as the shield had gone up and he wasn’t sure if it was good luck or bad luck that he was stuck, but he at least had his back to all of the children and was between them and the threat that was after them.

Hizashi hadn’t expected these people to know him and think he was a hero, though. He hadn’t expected there to be a powerful quirk user who could form shields around a large area that, so far, seemed unbreakable. He hadn’t expected to be trapped and up against a group of powerful looking men who numbered over a dozen with just as many children behind him.

Fuck, he should have just stood aside and called up the police stations and waited until a real hero had shown up, but… The children had been crying.

“I have to say, Present Mic, your disguise fooled us all, didn’t it? You make such a convincing nuisance that no one thought to look any deeper. Seeing as it’s just us now, however, why don’t you show who you really are?”

None of the villains were charging forward, yet, but why would they? Hizashi was soundly trapped along with the children. He didn’t dare use his quirk when it was possible the sound waves would bounce off the shield and hurt the children behind him, and a glance outside showed that none of the heroes were having much luck in getting in.

There were at least two or three heroes outside the transparent jade green shield made of what looked like pure glass, Hizashi recognizing them as high-profile, powerful heroes. It didn’t mean good things if they weren’t able to get in. He had no doubt that the fact it looked like glass didn’t mean it broke like glass.

Not even a dozen feet behind them, though, was what was a veritable media circus. There were too many cameras for Hizashi to count with a glance and, with how quiet the street was at the realization that there was nothing the heroes could do, their voices were loud enough to carry over the whole area.

“Yo, man, no need to sound so crazy. C’mon, ya gotta know by now that not all villains are for the whole kidnapping children thing! I mean, really, they’re cute kids, you gotta admit! Besides, what’s the plan here, even? The second you drop that shield the heroes are going to swarm ya!”

“Oh, I think there’s enough shields behind you for us to go free.” What a sick, twisted bastard. “From what I’ve been assured, a bullet travels faster than things such as Midnight’s quirk.” Behind him, Hizashi heard one of the girls burst into tears, a quick glance back showing a precious little girl with ram horns and pigtails being held tightly by a boy beside her. They were hardly old enough to even have quirks.

“Damn, you’re darker than I am!” Hizashi laughed, wild and loud and so fake. “C’mon, man, you’re just a low-time dealer, ain’t ya? Let this go now and you’ll probably get a pretty low sentence.”

“I thought I asked you to show me who you really are.” Yes, well, that wasn’t going to be happening anytime soon, now was it- “Yamada Hizashi.” For a second, Hizashi was impressed that the man knew his name.

Then he realized there were cameras on them and broadcasting to so many news networks that Present Mic’s true name was Yamada Hizashi. Even if he were to turn around and leave right now, everyone would know. His name was a common one, but yellow hair, glasses, a mustache, and so many other little clues? It wouldn’t take a genius to put it all together and everyone who knew him would know.

It was the realization that Aizawa would know who he was that really made it sink in. The public may have thought he was a hero, but the other heroes and the police… They would know the truth. They would know the truth that he had managed to hide in plain sight and now there was no going back. His saving grace before had been the fact that the police station had never cared about a nobody that never used his quirk in fights. As it was now, though, there were people who knew how dangerous he and his quirk were.

“You do your research, I see.” Hizashi dropped his hands that had been held up in a pacifying gesture, staring at the plain, nicely dressed man in front of him. He could have been one out of millions. That was what made him dangerous. “You don’t seem the type to take part in trafficking. What is the League paying you for this job?” Hizashi could see the surprise and the shock, but one of the men behind him was near roaring before anything else could be said. It was the one with the now broken nose.

“Why don’t we just kill him already?! He’s in the way and we’re on a time limit!” So, there was a time limit to the amount of time this shield could be up, was there? That was good. Hizashi could delay them until it fell and then the other heroes could take care of this mess. If it was one thing Hizashi could do, it was draw out the time.

“Patience, Kirin. We have time enough. This is the man that has so many of ours locked behind bars, after all. That radio show of yours was quite useful, wasn’t it?”

“I was never a big fan of drugs, myself, and yours are just nasty.” Judging by the lack of a black tongue, this man knew that, too.

“Perhaps, but they’re oh so useful.” The tone told him all he needed to know, and a single look showed just how many Trigger uses were a part of the group. “You really think a single hero can stop us? Perhaps it’s good that you’re here. We can use you to show these children that death is not outside the realm of-”

“I’m not a hero.” Hizashi didn’t let his words be soft and lost to the wind. He glanced back at these terrified children, all so young and new to their quirks, and then he looked to the cameras that were trained on him. The world was still so silent. “I’m not some hero or vigilante or silent do-gooder here to help people.”

“Your record seems to say otherwise, Present Mic. You’ve been quite busy, haven’t you? Patrolling your streets, stopping muggers and thieves, teaming up with pro heroes, and my, oh my, does the list just go on and on.”

“I’m not a hero, but I’m not a villain, either.” Just admitting that he was no longer a villain… He had known - of course he had known - but saying it seemed to release a weight off of him that he hadn’t even known was there. “But I am someone trying to make a point.”

“A point that you’ll be making with your death, I hope.” The Trigger dealer looked behind him, nodding at the dozen men behind him. The one near the back, far away from danger, was no doubt the one causing the shield to be active. “I’d say it was a pleasure, Present Mic, but it really wasn’t.”

“Don’t fight them.” The voice was almost whisper soft and Hizashi startled at realizing it came from the little girl with the ram horns. “If you fight them, they’ll kill you. I don’t want to see anyone else die in front of me. Just let them take us, Mr. Hero.”

“Yeah, we’ll be okay! We’re tough!” Just like that, the children were all agreeing and chiming in that they would be fine and that Hizashi should just step aside so he didn’t get hurt. It made him want to cry. These children who had been through so much were telling him to step aside because they didn’t want him to get hurt. It made him want to break.

“You’d do well to listen to them, ‘Mr. Hero.’” Head jerking back up, Hizashi swallowed as he saw the group advancing. These were villains. People who craved and celebrated bloodshed and who had no qualms using their quirks against someone else.

“Yeah, I probably should.” Hizashi tightened his stance, taking a few deep breaths. He couldn’t scream, but he could use short range attacks and follow it up with hand-to-hand. He just had to hold them off until the shield broke, after all.

Hizashi took one last glance to the cameras that were trained on them, the entire world seeming breathless for a moment. Well, Hizashi mused, at least he had finally gotten what he had wanted since this all began.

The eyes of the world were watching.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #erasermic #villain!mic #corndog-patrol #villainous heroics

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