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#experimenting with stuff ~

Dear Harringrove peeps, followers and mutuals alike, I have a quick question

See, by now I’ve gotten 4 anon requests (pretty sure three of them is from the same anon, I see you 👅) asking for trans Harringrove

I’m non binary with slight body dysphoria, and so I’m wondering, should I write it?

I worry a lot about being accidentally insensitive without realising it, or not portraying the trans characters the way they deserve

I love trans HCs and support them fully, but am I the right person to ask to do this?

Advice greatly appreciated!

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drawing out a rough concept to see if the finished art will give the look you’re going for, to figure out how best to execute your idea is… good. it’s good to Follow The Process of art with brainstorming, thumbnails, blah blah blah

but it has the same effect on my brain of bullet-pointing a story. like. i’ve done all this work. i have a good idea of where things are headed (barring any surprises/sparks of inspiration) and how it will all work out if everything goes as planned. so do i really need to put in the effort to actually Make The Thing???

#yes the answer is yes i want to make the thing i am going to make the thing bc i *want* to make the thing, #but the feelgood brain chemical dispenser's like ''well u used it all. u have ur answer move on to something else if u want more'', #so then it feels like trying to entice a child who says they love being outside to do like. yard chores., #make a game make a game out of it make a game out of eeeevvverything games and contests and adventures and stories, #it takes so much work to 1) be engaged; but also??? 2) TO BE ENGAGING. TOWARD YOURSELF., #ahhhhhhhhhhhh, #brain hacks: exercise before sitting down to do stuff you *genuinely want to do* but can't seem to do--brain already has feelgood chemicals, #so it's like ur tricking urself into thinking u enjoy THIS THING YOU ABSOLUTELY *DO* ACTUALLY ENJOY DAMMIT, #hack number two is caffeine/sugar but that's not very healthy in the long run. especially if ur body doesn't handle them well., #hmm? i guess exercise can be abused too huh. so it's all about moderation??? and. variety????? yeah?, #rn it's not so much that im struggling to find ways to make things work it's more i just wanna complain about the fact that, #i have to find ways to make things work instead of things just working. ugh. effort??? i have to exert effort???? gross., #people talk about self-discipline like it's sitting down and Just Doing It, #but in my experience when Just Doing It has never?? been feasible in the way it might be for an NT brain (idk im guessing it is for them), #self-discipline is more about having the discipline to sit with yourself and troubleshoot and regulate, #so even if you're on the path of preparation for Just Doing The Thing.. bc it's a *meandering* path and *can be* an intensive process, #on the outside it might just look like goofing off., #like a bunch of unnecessary steps where you're just making things harder for yourself when in fact ur doin the opposite!!, #and then hoo boy if u *internalize* that shit?? and u yourself start thinkin ur just goofing off? eugh. why., #why is it like this., #(okay rant over!! time to eat some food!), #oh a tangent i won't get into: how it's all related to energy levels and how having low spoons can make it seem like normal things, #take up *more* spoons than typical bc there are all these background/midground processes going on constantly eating up energy, #that ppl who don't struggle with this kinda stuff don't even have to rly THINK about in their very straightforward lives., #HHHHHHHHH, #ok that's it all good., #ok sandwich time im craving MUSTARD
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#first of all yes I am trying to go to bed, #thinking about my OCs for a while is just part of the process, #anyway. it’s a damn shame that I don’t have any characters who like. have a thing about scars but not just their own, #like. Derrek and lucky are both like hell yeah I have a tangible record of my experiences and also scars are cool as hell, #but like. i don’t have a character who admires scars in other folks, #Derrek couldn’t care less and lucky just wants to hear the story and is otherwise neutral, #but like. for example. if corvina? she could sit there just watching Rij talk. looking at how the lines in her face aren’t quite even becaus, #of how her scar dips into her cheek, #I also am realizing how few of my characters have scars on their faces., #like. just little scars, #like I’ve got one on my forehead from when I fell into smth as a baby., #or hell the big ones too that make an impression, #scars are just. theyre so cool. and some of them? gorgeous. stunning. millions out of ten, #if you have a scar and you’re reading this? I love you and your scar is cool as hell, #anyway. I’m gonna go try and figure out a situation for character a to just look all lovingly at character b while they talk and just sort, #of pay attention to the details like how they get a sort of mini dimple when they make a certain face or how their smile lines are a bit, #uneven or stuff like that, #and yea I’m gonna focus on cheeks Bc that’s what I’m the most aware of is scar on cheek. I’ve seen that a lot, #don’t mind me
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I know I keep saying this but I really like the way obi-wan is characterised in M&A. Usually I find authors write him as overly passive and meek, or a kindly old emotionally-distant mentor, but this feels a lot more authentic. He’s very observant, eager to impress people he respects, he LOVES the sound of his own voice and is very sure of what he’s saying, and while he’s kind and polite he does have a petty mean streak in him

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It’s been a while since this last happened buts it happened like three or so times since I came out to my sisters but something I think about how my oldest sister would like occasionally and randomly being up my pronouns and how other people done use them, like the last time I remember her doing this was around december of last year when our grandma sent us christmas cards (idk why she mailed them we delete ge v close to her but it was nice) and they were all three addressed to “granddaughter” and I read mine out loud at home to her and her husband and she looked at me and said something like “she didn’t call you grandchild” or something like that and it’s like uh why the fuck would she I only came out to you, our other sister and yalls partners I’m not coming out to any other family but she always does this and maybe I’m reading to deep into this but I feel like she’s implying something but idk what. She also when I came out to her kept mentioning how they/them weren’t proper/correct pronouns and didn’t make sense in sentences (which isn’t true) but because she majored in english and math she knows best ig (she said that it would make sense if I used neo pronouns instead which good on her for not trashing neo pronouns but also I don’t use neo pronouns, I use they/them with people I’m out to in safe spaces and she/her around ppl I’m not out to/in spaces that probs aren’t safe for me to use they/them pronouns) like please can you just respect my gender and pronouns like I’m not even making you or our other sister use they/them pronouns you still do because I know it would be hard to switch back and fourth between them since I’m only out to y’all in our family and y’all also use fem aligned words for me and I’m not gonna make y’all stop but it irks me that she sometimes like to bring up how someone who I’m not out to didnt address me as they/them or used a fem aligned word for me with like no reason to do that like what are you trying to do cis?

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i genuinely love those plotlines or even like short fanart stuff that have one person saying smth like “happy anniversary to us :)” or “I’m so glad you’re my boyfriend <3” or like anything the confirms a relationship between them and the other person immediately goes “WAIT WE’RE DATING?” bc tbh. most relatable shit ever

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this is exactly why I’m not really in any servers or rarely interact w people (outside of like a handful you’ll notice) abahsshdhdb

like,,,,,some people on here are so damn WEIRD. I don’t get it. And by that I mean like,,,they obviously just want to start stuff…weird….I don’t get it man I kinda be keepin to myself doe 😳 like idk if youve seen but there are entire BLOGS dedicated to calling users out it is…………………… shocking. All I can say is avoid other people like the plague other than like,,,,people u think are cool. as a rule of thumb I don’t join discord servers buuuuuut that’s just me!

also i feel u it’s like 4pm and I have a 7 page paper due but I’m just pretending I don’t….😎 I do not see it!

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