#explosion is the worst power I can think of to give a 4 year old

[coco96]

LDAF - The Avengers

Hiding Magic (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Mention of crime (stealing) Request: ... reader who is a very powerful magician ... who also robs because their family is poor ... One day all the Avengers comes to their school to give a speech. However, the reader gets there late and sees the Avengers thinking they’re about to get arrested. They then go to the Bathroom to use magic and escape. Right when R using magic Peter, Tony, Strange walks in. After talking the R ends up an Avenger.

Serenity (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Sick child, illness Request: ... reader being a part of the avengers, but the others gets suspicious when she starts refusing missions on particular dates and she always sneaks of, but it turns out she visits a children’s hospital or something because she wants to give them hope? ...

Crushing The Grape (Avengers X Male!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers to Infinity War. Death. Reader basically tortured Thanos. Think Magneto with blood. Request: Could you do avengers x male reader where male reader kills that giant purple grape(thanos) on Titan

The Happiest Avenger (Avengers X Reader) TRIGGER WARNING: Depression and self harm mention Request: ... R is very happy to a point where they’re the happiest person on the avengers but the R is secretly messed up, they never shows it. The R has a secret they self-harm. So one day Steve finds the scars while they’re talking in the kitchen then thinks the worst. So he sets up a meeting with the crew and the next day R walks in and the crew have to act normal but then comfronts the R but the end is very fluff

Young Weapon (Avengers X Teen!Male!Reader) Warnings: Mention of violence, mention of fire, death of parents, mention of torture Request: ... reader where he’s discovered as a brainwashed assassin (like bucky) where he was taken when he was like 5 and is now 15 and he suffered worse than bucky did and they try to help him oh wow that was long

Not Happening (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of torture, brain washing, ptsd/nightmares and killing. Request: ... reader is a superpowered teenager that the avengers took care of after finding her in a hydra base. She’s still trying to fit in but the government is trying to take her away due to her past crimes when she was still controlled by hydra ...

Scratches (Avengers X Male!Reader) Warnings: Sexual mentions Request: … Where male reader was training and took his shirt of and the avengers see he has scratches(from late night activities) on his back and tease him about it and he comes up with a sassy response. The whole late night activities don’t have to be detailed

No More Fighting Pt 1 (Avengers X Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Death of character Request: ... before the battle cap and iron have a fight but the reader plays peacemaker and makes everything alright. At the battle the reader sacrifice themself to help the avengers get away before getting captured ... but the avengers think they k.i.a. And at the funeral cap and iron make peace for the sake of the reader

Ranger (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Fighting Request: .... a steampunk style and meets the avengers after they see her beating up bad guys or something ...

Testing Patience (Avengers X Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Mild swearing Request: … a very calm reader who life with the avengers in the tower and one day she is mad at something and all the avengers are there and think she is very cute when she is angry and hug her and joke on her, and she gets more angy because they think she is cute …

Anomaly (Avengers X Teen!Male!Reader) Request: ... reader who is a powerful being and all they know about their life is that they’re human with powerful powers. Avengers are trying to capture them, they’re trying to capture him to question him. because he robbed a bank and seen what the reader could do. The powers he has are called Imagination Manifestation its like imagining something and comes true. And at the end he some how gets a job at avengers

Blind Meeting (Avengers X Blind!Reader) Request: ... reader is really nervous to meet the avengers because shes blind but peter assures her that itll be fine and the avengers end up loving her

Loyalty (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Torture, memory loss Request: ... reader gets compromised, tries to take down the avengers ... They refuse to fight her ...

Revenge Is Bloody (Avengers X Vampire Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Blood and gore Request: ... hydra operatives keep showing up dead drained of their blood? The team are called to investigate. Bucky is fine with it but everyone seems kind of nervous cause they don’t know what their dealing with. They find out it’s a girl in her teens that hydra experimented on turning her into a vampire and she was able to over power and hunt them down. They track her and she willingly goes with them to join the team.

Much Needed Sleep (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: passing out, swearing. Request: ... reader has insomnia and barely sleeps. She lies to the rest of them (the avengers) so they don’t worry. She has about 4 hours sleep a night, sometimes less. When she’s doing a mission, she collapses from exhaustion ...

Mistake (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Injury, death Request: ... one day the reader messes up badly on a mission and the avengers talk about how the reader let down So the reader quits and the avengers go looking for the reader and finds them and talks about how they’re sorry ...

Real Magic (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warning: Falling from heights, presumed deaths, dangerous stunts. Request: Peter and The avengers go to a circus they decide to go see a magic show, and tony is totally not buying it. It turns out the reader is the star, and her magic is real. Maybe they try to get her on the team. …

“Did you have to seduce the entire team!?” (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Request: … reader is young and beautiful and starts living in the tower with the avengers and she flirts with all of them just for fun, and all of them think that she is in love with them and at the end they start fighting ... and ask reader which one would she choose finally and she chooses ruce ...

I Don’t Know What I’d Do Without You (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Self conscious reader, teasing Request: Can you do a female reader, where she feels as if she isn’t worthy enough to be in the avengers, she feels as if she’s the odd one out. Nat overhears her talking to her friend on the phone about thinking about leaving and she gets the others to convince her she is worthy?

Auntie June Came Early (Male Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warning: Period time~ Request: … reader is in her days and Nat and Wanda are away, and the male avengers got nuts because they think she might be in a lot of pain and overprotect her and dont let her do anything, not even move, and she complain about the pain just once and they all freak out and she thinks is hilarious! ...

Helping (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Bulimia, throwing up, bullying, self conscious reader. Request: ... reader is Tony’s daughter (although all of them are protective of her) and she has bulimia and she gets caught purging by one of the team members.

Hello, I’m Pansexual (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of homophobia, anxiety. Request: ... reader’s part of the avengers and has powers, but is pan and struggling w how to come out to the team bc she’s scared they’ll kick her off?

Surprise! (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Sad emotions Request: … reader thinks everyone forgot their birthday but they were just planning a surprise party for them? …

If You Get Killed, Walk It Off. (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Grieving, supposed death, explosion, blood, death Request: … reader is in a mission with the avengers and then there is an explossion and the reader was in that building and everybody thinks that she died, and start to cry and remember how they love her, and finally she was ok, and goes with them and ask what happen? …

Help (Avengers X Reader) SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING: SELF- HARM MENTIONS Request: ... a super angsty self-harm one with avengers.

Where Do Babies Come From? (Avengers X Child!Reader) Warnings: Mild swearing, sex ed talk Request: … reader is the little protect one sister of the avengers (like 12 years old) and she goes around the tower asking the avengers how babies are made. (she doesnt have a mom, so she doesnt know anything) and Tony freaks out because doesnt want her to grow up! …

Phantom (Avengers X Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: ... reader’s super badass the team rarely sees her shes like a ninja and according to clint who ever sees her outside missions will have a lucky day (lmao) and like when the teams having movie night shes just like standing behind them in the shadows ...

No Spoilers (Avengers X Reader)     |     Part 2     |     Part 3 Warnings: Spoilers of AOU SET BEFORE AOU Request: ... reader from our universe gets dropped into the avengers.

One Last Goodbye (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Death, mourning. Request: … reader died during a mission. Fury give Tony a USB key and told him to watch the video with the rest of the avengers. on the video the reader is talking about how much she loved them and tells each avenger little facts that she loved about them and she thanks them for being her family. …

Birthday Girl (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Request: ... it’s the female readers birthday. She works with the Avengers but aside from that she doesn’t have any friends. She is having a bad birthday, the avengers don’t know. They find out it’s her birthday and surprise her, making it better. …

Welcome to the Family (Avengers X Elf!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of neglect Request: ... reader is half human, half light elf but you were taken from Alfheim and abandoned on earth when the dark elves attacked. (From Thor) The avengers find you and take you in. Thor offers to bring you home but you’ve gotten attached to the human world and decides to stay. You’ve especially gotten attached to Tony cause he treated you like a daughter since you were very young and petite. Smaller then normal elves

Not Your Fault (Avengers X Fem!Teen!Reader) Warnings: Mention of extreme injury, disability, guilt. Request: ... reader is Tony’s teen daughter and she is really good friends with everyone in Team Cap but then during the airport fight she gets hurt and is unable to walk again ... and then when she sees Team Cap again they feel really guilty specially because one of them caused the injury and Natasha feels angry at herself because she was supposed to be her mother figure and look out for her ...

Fitting In (Avengers X Adopted!Reader) Request: ... Tony, being known for his impulsive choices adopts a 14 yr old girl. She’s got the innocent girl next door look but she’s a complete devil. Nat loves her, Clint is afraid of her and Loki, Bucky and Sam are her partners in crime for evil pranks. All is well until she pulls a prank on Bruce and he hulks out. But even Hulk falls under her innocent spell and can’t seem to do anything to her.

Hair Pulling (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Hair pulling, pulling hair out Request: ... One of the Avengers finds out that the reader has trichotillomania and try’s to help them to stop?

Headaches (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of AoU, Illness, swearing, mention of getting high and drunk Request: The reader is sick all of the time and the avengers are concerned about them, so they have to try and convince the avengers that they’re okay in the long run ...

Killer Cupcakes (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Serious illness, near death Request: ... reader is like really sick/hurt and tries to hide it from the other avengers, but they find out and freak bc she almost died ...

The Ultimate Sacrifice (Avengers X Male!Reader) Warnings: Death of character, description of death, mourning Request: ... they’re trapped in a capsized (upside down) cruise ship and the reader ... sacrifices himself to save the group, based on the song My Immortal by Evanescence ...

Animals (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Swearing Request: ... reader is sort of spiritually connected with animals or has some sort of connection with animals where they just adore her ... and the avengers ... keep finding random animals around the tower and Tony keeps telling her off for it; secretly everyone finds it amusing and the reader knows this.

I Need My Family (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Mention of harrassment, assault and swearing Request: ... reader is part time university student - part time Avenger ... and reader somehow gets into some trouble that involves the police, and they try to keep it secret from the others, but Steve finds out and tells Wanda, then they tell the others ...

Other Me (Bucky X Fem!Reader)     |     *PREQUEL* [Part 2]     |     Part 3 *Sequel Warnings: Needles, stabbing, blood, death Request: … reader joined the avengers before Bucky. He sees her as sweet, shy and innocent but during missions she’s a complete psycho? After missions its like nothing happened. So he asks Steve about it and he says she’s like that cause before missions they take her off her meds that keep her in check. If she doesn’t have them she’s kinda over the top angry.

Hidden Art (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader is a shy recruit at the Avengers and she doesn’t really talk to anyone and didn’t let anyone in her room, and one day someone walked to her room and found out that she was very good at art ...

Joining The Team Pt 1 (Avengers X Reader)     |     Part 2     |     Part 3     |     Part 4     |     Part 5 ~Finale Warnings: Blood, Violence, torture Request: ... Avengers x reader fic, really angsty ...

Compromised (Neal Caffrey X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Nat kills someone, violence Request: ... Neal Caffrey (reader’s boyfriend) finds out she’s an Avenger, and the Avengers find out she has a boyfriend? Mozzie is protective of Neal and Nat and Bucky are protective of reader and try to scare Neal into backing off?

I’ll Kill Him (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of Domestic abuse. Request: Reader is the Avenger’s assistant and like a little sister to them, and one day she doesn’t come into work and Bucky goes to her house to make sure she’s OK and finds out she’s in an abusive relationship and helps her.

Where’s Nat? (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Blood. Looooots of blood. Request: teen reader has period and goes to avengers for help but Nat isn’t home – Tony is her uncle!

Not alone (Avengers X Reader) SERIOUS WARNING: SELF HARM MENTIONS. Other warnings: Getting shot. Request: Avengers see Reader’s self harm scars and confront her

Overprotective much? (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: One swear word, threatening, flirting, drinking and attempted murder by an overprotective brother. Request: ... reader is Tony´s sister and she is really beautiful (thats why Tony won´t introduce her) and the avengers are surprised and start bothering Tony and he gots really jealous and protective ...

#marvel cinematic universe #the avengers #Avengers #avengers x reader #the avengers x reader #marvel #mcu #tony stark #thor #natasha romanoff #clint barton #Steve Rogers #bruce banner #iron man #black widow #hawkeye #captain america #hulk #lazydoodlesandfanfic #lazydoodlesandfanfic masterlist

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Teenage Years)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: this is LONG so please dont let this flop

prompt: y/n is 12-16, takes place from Avengers 1 to Avengers 2

The Early Years (1) The Intense Years (3) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)

starting out with tony powering stark tower with clean energy:

it was very late, you were supposed to be asleep

“what are you doing up, missy? it’s way past your bedtime”

“it’s my fault, i let her stay up to see her dad’s big achievement” -pepper

just vibing on the couch with absolutely no intention of sleeping anytime soon

you really did take after your dad

“how was the show, sweetheart?”

“uh, cool?”

coulson showing up when he did

you were excited bc you knew he had to be there for superhero stuff

“hi, agent coulson!!”

“hey there, kiddo!

BEGGING to come with your dad

“no. absolutely not. there is absolutely no way im letting you get involved in any of this”

you got involved

but like, not the whole “im a 12 year old superhero” involved

“y/n, sweetie, this is dr. banner, you’re gonna be his assistant in the lab!”

“—what?” *bruce utterly shocked*

talking that man’s ear off oh my GOD

he taught you a few things along the way, though

it ended up being very educational

“yeah i built my own suit! it’s definitely not as cool as my dad’s...and he put a bunch of safety controls on it. obviously, i could bypass them and do whatever i wanted, but it’s best not to break his trust, you know?”

“you are astonishingly wise for a 12 year old”

bruce being kind of scared around you because he thinks he could hurt you

also scared you might hurt yourself on the scepter

CASUALLY talking to the rest of the avengers

“so, you’re stark’s daughter? now i’ve met three generations of starks.” -steve

“oh, wonderful, there’s a smaller one!” -thor

“hey, y/n, it’s good to see you again. still practicing those moves i showed you?” -natasha

listennnn as you got older you started to exert more of your father’s personality traits

you developed his sarcastic and occasionally ill-timed humor...and

YOU WERE COCKY AS FUCK

“i mean, i’m not saying that i’m better than you but i know you’re thinking it”

when the helicarrier was attacked nobody really knew the correct way to protect you

“dad? dad??”

“right here, y/n, come with me”

tony brought your suit for emergency purposes

“you put this on and you stay here, understand?”

oh, another thing you got from him? NOT LISTENING

helping where you could, the first step to becoming a superhero, right?

being really upset when coulson died

but understanding that it was apart of the job

going back to new york for some alien ass kicking and having the whole team check on you every thirty seconds

“y/n, how’s it going?” “stark junior, are you doing okay?” “need any help out there, kid?”

“you guys don’t have to babysit me” “i’m still kickin’ it, thanks”

tony calling right before he went through the wormhole

“hey sweetheart, just gotta let you know that i love you and i am so proud of everything you’ve done”

the avengers holding you back from him when he fell back to the ground because you were unreasonably worried for obvious reasons

“is he breathing? steve? steve, let me see him! JARVIS, are you there?”

falling on the ground and hugging him (with your clunky-ass armor still on)

“hey! yeah, i missed you too”

*clink clink* pat on the back

schwarma stop

“you’re gonna eat it and you’re gonna like it”

having your own input on the stark tower remodel

taking a slight pause for random stuff

you’ve definitely drawn his mustache/goatee on your face before

“please tell me that’s not permanent marker”

“it’s permanent marker”

you and pepper doing mother/daughter things for bonding (but you and her already had a great relationship)

unreasonable amount of cussing from your father has rubbed off onto you and now he doesn’t notice when you say bad words

natasha taught you how to shoot so that was cool

“if i can shoot a repulsor, i think i can shoot a gun”

“whatever you say, baby stark”

obviously the team is just a bunch of protective uncles and an aunt

“i miss [insert avenger here]”

resume to iron man 3

just tinkering in the shop with pops

“are you sure that’s safe, dad?”

“duh, why wouldn’t it be safe?”

you were right and it was not safe

sometimes you proved your dad wrong and it made him happy?

“well would you look at that, you’re right”

learning how to help your dad with his anxiety and panic attacks

the house in malibu got blown up and your dad disappeared

you were benched by pepper effective immediately

“don’t you think it would be better if i were still out there? someone has to be out there and...i don’t know, protect the people?”

“y/n, please, you’re still a kid. i can excuse fighting aliens but i draw the line at terrorism”

“you can excuse fighting aliens??”

pepper sent you to a different house and hired a...babysitter

zip zip zip its AOU time yall remember the beginning of that at the hydra base

*explosion* “oh, shit! didn’t mean to do that...”

“watch your language, y/n!” -cap

“don’t tell my daughter what to do!”

having an external monologue that everyone just kind of rolls with

“glad i put a heater in this suit” “anyone up for burgers?” *humming Eye of the Tiger*

going back to the lab with tony and bruce and being very uncomfortable with the idea of ultron

“okay dad, you know how im usually right?”

“lighten up, kiddo. remember what i taught you about trial and error? this is a learning experience”

*bruce and you side eying*

“i’ll ground you”

“what?!”

“kidding, im kidding”

a lot of kid jokes from other partygoers

“isnt it past your bedtime”

“very funny”

actually dressing up nice for a change, as opposed to an oil-stained band tee

but then ur outfit was ruined because you had to shoot murder bots :(

“not cool! i designed this room!”

tony still got all the blame for ultron while you and bruce went 😬

tony made a joke about ultron being your brother and you didn’t talk to him for hours

“oh, come on! you have to learn to laugh at your mistakes!”

“poor choice of words, stark” -literally everyone

🎶getting to see your worst feaaar🎶

which was a mixture between tony not surviving the wormhole and being abandoned and vulnerable again

your phone got confiscated “because of ultron”

meeting wanda and pietro on better terms

“you are stark’s daughter?”

“um, yeah, that’s me. i sincerely apologize for anything he’s ever done wrong while i’ve been alive”

actually getting along with them (plus you were in a similar age range)

“uncle rhodey!!!”

“staying out of trouble, i hope?”

“define ‘trouble’”

okay okay, enough of that. besides a few robots hitting you and you hitting harder...and ultron taking a couple personal jabs at you after accessing some of your social media accounts...it went back to normal(ish)

you made a friend of wanda and visited the avengers compound weekly and helped with training

and nat gave you some spy pointers to help you if you ever found yourself without the suit

when you left the compound after thor that day, you had some nice father/daughter time

“why don’t i give you a driving lesson, yeah?”

“you’re gonna trust me to drive this thing?”

“sure, why not?”

you drove very fast, wonder where you learned that from

he was clasping onto the seats and whispering curse words

“next time, you can drive with happy”

#tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark #iron man #iron man x daughter!reader #iron man imagine #iron man x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers

[dramaticviolincrescendo]

Okay, what are your thoughts on Ian's relationships? With his family, his boyfriends, and Mandy (since I think that's the only friend he's had)

Oh, no. Ohhhhhhhh, no. Now you’ve done it. You’ve asked about my dear, darling favorite character on the show. My love for one Ian Gallagher runs deep, which means this answer is going to run super long. The good, the bad, and everything in between—Ian Gallagher lives rent free in my brain and always will. I derive so much satisfaction from seeing Ian interact with other people, in whatever capacity that might be. I admire and aspire to the compassion he has shown for others over the years, even and perhaps most especially those who arguably haven’t earned it. He tries so hard to be good to people, and seeing their love for him manifest when he’s reached such lows where he can’t even fathom why the love of his life would want to be with him forever? That’s powerful.

So, yeah. I said I could write essays on these characters, and that’s exactly what you’re about to get: five hours and 6k words’ worth of my thoughts. (I am so sorry. There will be text walls.)

Let’s dive into Ian’s many and multifaceted relationships—his family, his friends, and his romantic pursuits.

Ian and Family

Ian told us where he stood on this in the very first season, and it set the standard for his character for eleven years to come. Faced with a prospect that others in his position could only dream of—not being Frank’s son and having a wealthy father with a functional, prosperous lifestyle mere miles away—Ian refused to buy into it. He refused to do what might have been objectively better for his future by seeking a relationship with Clayton. In that household, he would have had access to a better public school, more financial resources, a tutor to help him where he was struggling, and less urgency for him to work so that he could enjoy being a kid. When he got sick, he would have had access to better healthcare, too. Perhaps he would have had a better shot at West Point from that background than he did at home. But that’s just it: home was with his family, and he was very clear that they didn’t live in that nice house. All he wanted—all he wanted—was to be with his brothers and sisters. He has never referred to them as only half-siblings or half-cousins; he has never even used the words, “you’re not my dad,” on Frank. That’s his family, the people he loves most in the world, and he’s always been at his best when he’s with them and at his worst when he’s not. Let’s look at each of them:

1.      Frank: It is so striking to me that Ian doesn’t appear to hold the outright contempt for Frank that Fiona, Lip, and Debbie have exhibited at different points over the years. Aside from the handful of instances where they’ve gotten into physical altercations (which Frank always initiated) and kicking him out of the house on occasion, Ian is simply indifferent to him. But there are these moments, these brief glimmers of mutual attachment and loyalty, if those are the right words. In the scene where Ian famously doesn’t count to three before using the pepper spray on him, Frank starts saying how his New Gallaghers weren’t his real kids—that Ian is his real son, and Frank is his real father. It’s a passing thought uttered while trying to manipulate his way into the house that neither of them think much of, nor does the audience…until you remember that biologically, Frank isn’t his father, and he certainly hasn’t behaved like one either. Ian has more right than anyone to comment on that, but he doesn’t because Frank is his father. He’s the father that Ian idly hoped wouldn’t come to his wedding yet sat joking about with Debbie rather than getting pissed off that he was making out with some lady in front of everyone. He’s the father who sat at the table with them eating breakfast in 11x03 and claimed Mickey was the man in their relationship without Ian saying a word to him about it, and who Ian saw no issue with taking Franny to school when no one else could. In s4, as far removed from his family as he’d been for a while, Ian still went straight to the hospital when he heard that Frank was at death’s door. We focus so much on his attitude towards Monica because of how obvious it was that we frequently miss these tiny moments and their implications. It would take an awful lot of patience, compassion, and love not to write Frank off completely after all he’s done. Not necessarily our standard definition of love between a son and his father, perhaps, but a loving soul.

2.      Monica: I have actually written a pretty lengthy post about his relationship with her because while their shared mental illness definitely plays a role in his feelings toward her, that grew complicated far earlier than his diagnosis. The first time we meet her, we see that he has a visceral reaction to news of her presence. He runs. When Ian can’t process strong emotions, that’s what he’s done in the past. I happened upon an interview Cameron did just after the end of s1 where he mentioned something I had already been thinking: Ian’s age when Monica left is extremely important. He was a kid in s1, but one who could roll with the punches, sometimes literally. She left them two years before that. Ian would have been in middle school, roughly as old as Debbie was when she still called Frank “daddy” and forgave him for everything he did. It’s an awkward age that once again set Ian in something of a danger zone—too old to accept an excuse or no explanation at all, but not old enough to process the situation in a healthy way. And then she’s back all of a sudden with no warning. Ian doesn’t cry like Debbie, and he doesn’t typically get explosively angry like Fiona. He can’t deal, so he runs. He hangs back. He only speaks when he has to and compartmentalizes: Monica wants to take Liam, and they need to stop her. It doesn’t have to be about her leaving. They have a goal—he can focus on that. And then she’s back a year later, saying she’s here to stay while Fiona seems to take her at her word and Lip isn’t there to ground everyone. Ian tries so hard to behave like Lip would with his biting sarcasm and attempts to stay emotionally distant in a way that seemed pretty exaggerated for Ian, but he’s also dealing with a fresh wave of guilt over Mickey going to juvie—and Monica gets it. She’s the only person to acknowledge that he’s in pain and actively try to make it better. She’s the only one who really knows at the time, but that hardly matters. This poor kid, whose mother left him when he still needed her, has her standing in front of him and saying she’s sorry and listening when he speaks and taking him dancing—just the two of them. Embarrassing as it was and harmful as it could have been, she tried to facilitate his dreams when no one else wanted him to go into the military. She was there for him when he went AWOL. She came for him when he was arrested and even wanted to make a place for him in her new life, unrealistic as it was. This goes so much deeper than them both being bipolar. Ian’s comment about her parachuting into their lives in s7 wasn’t about Mickey or her role in them breaking up. He trusted her. He wanted her. He needed her. And she’d convinced him that she would be there—until she left. Over and over again. She was there for him and unintentionally took advantage of how desperately he still needed his mother. She made him keep loving her, and that’s both a blessing that has him crying into a voluminous man’s arms when she passes and a curse that wrecked him more than once.

3.      Fiona: The trust these two have for each other cannot be understated. Fiona has discussed things with Ian that she never brought up around any of the other kids throughout the entire series. In the pilot episode, she tells him about feeling needed and takes his opinion on the matter to heart. At the end of the season, he’s the one she talks to about the car because she can trust him to give her an answer even without speaking. In s2, she tells Lip that the two of them are her rocks, and we see that time and time again. That’s part of what makes their falling out over the church hit that much harder: it’s Ian and Fiona. The only time they’d been on the outs in any serious manner up to that point was when Ian was adjusting to his new reality and they were trying to find a balance between sister and caretaker. Otherwise, that bond of trust had never been severed—not until Ian literally sold himself only for it to amount to nothing in the end because she had no idea the lengths to which he’d gone to get that building. That damage gets mended, thankfully, but what a powerful period of time when those two were the only ones who’d never really been at each other’s throats. There is a downside to that trust, though. As I mentioned before, Ian was so responsible and put together when he was younger that Fiona didn’t think twice about his situation with Ned or that he ran away. Not even seventeen yet, and she was telling Debbie that she didn’t like his decision to leave but trusted him. That is one of the things I love about this show—even something like trust that we always prop up as an important factor in our relationships can betray us in the most unexpected ways.

4.      Lip: I won’t go into it here, but the relationship they share is something that means a lot to me on a personal level. It’s part of how I knew that Ian would become my favorite character pretty early on. The way he simultaneously admires and envies Lip, loves and is annoyed by him, relies on him and is desperate to pave his own path in the world—what a beautiful and accurate depiction of what it means to be a younger sibling. Lip is the first person to discover that he’s gay and openly accept him for it. (I think what he tried with Karen came from a well-meaning place even if it was horribly, horribly misguided.) Lip is the one who tries to get him into West Point, hate it as he does. He helps Ian when Terry is after him, takes care of him in the aftermath of the wedding when he realizes just how deeply Ian feels for Mickey, searches the whole damn city for him when he finds out that Ian is in trouble, gets him a job, leans on him in his own time of need… He’s not perfect. He slips up, just like Ian does. Some things break my heart, like Lip insisting that he’s earned his own space when his little brother is asking him for safe harbor or Ian thanking him for being his brother outside the prison. But they love each other so much, and I just… I can’t possibly put into words how much I love their dynamic.

5.      Debbie, Carl, and Liam: I’m grouping these three together because they’re further separated from Ian in age, so we see a lot of the same trends with them as a whole. Ian loves taking care of people. We know this. We also know that Fiona and Lip don’t typically want him taking care of them—they’re the ones who take care of him when he needs it, specifically Lip. With the younger three, however, Ian can be the Big Brother. He can shake his head in utter bafflement at Debbie’s obsession with holding her breath for two minutes, walk Carl through what he needs to go camping, and promise his baby brother postcards when he leaves. The difference here is that his relationship with them is so much less fraught with conflict. We don’t see him fight with Debbie, Carl, or Liam the way he has with Fiona or Lip. While Ian tends to be the voice of reason during conflicts overall, I think it’s also because he relies on his older siblings in a way that he doesn’t with his younger siblings, and the latter don’t tend to rely on him as much as Fiona or Lip as well. There’s a lack of tension in most of their interactions growing up because that pressure isn’t there. Perhaps this is where Ian’s age and standing in the family is a bit more beneficial: young enough to have people he can rely on while too young for anyone to really rely on him for more than his share of the squirrel fund.

Ian and Friends

I’ve seen it mentioned that Ian (and Mickey) not having more friends is bad or lazy writing. I tend to believe that that fails to take something into account that, admittedly, most of us don’t really have to think about: having friends is a luxury. It requires time and effort to cultivate friendships, especially lasting ones. As a kid, Ian spent a lot of his free time working or helping to manage one family crisis after another. Going AWOL, losing his health, struggling to acclimate to his illness, trying to find a new career path, spiraling into the Gay Jesus movement, going to prison, adjusting once again to normal life, getting married, a pandemic… I’m sure he’s had plenty of acquaintances over the years, but having a family to support and constant upheavals would have made it extremely difficult to really forge strong relationships with them. I think that’s part of what makes his relationship with Mandy so special and valuable to him: she’s sort of the same way.

When we met Mandy in s1, she had other friends. We saw her meet up with them and go shopping; she told Ian a story about how one was mad at her for not sharing her make-up. As the trauma in the Milkovich household reached its zenith for her in s2 and she started thinking seriously about getting out of there, we saw those friends fall by the wayside—all except Ian. He saw her and let her see him early on. That’s a level of trust and respect that nobody else in their neighborhood would have displayed, certainly not to her. But then there’s this guy who defended her against their creepy, perverted teacher and treated her like a human being, not an object. It’s no wonder she developed an obvious, unrequited crush and sought physical comfort from him occasionally. It’s no wonder she tried to repay the favor by giving Mickey a hard time in s3 and s4, misguided and rather uninformed as we know it was at the time. (It’s also no wonder that she went for the closest Gallagher to Ian, either, but that’s for another meta.)

And Ian… Ian is loyal to a fault. We have watched Ian cut out his own heart and let the blood drip down his arm to pool on the floor at his feet if it would make a damn bit of difference for the people he loves. Like Fiona and Lip, Mandy immediately accepted him for who he is and suggested an arrangement that would protect him as well as benefit her. That is enormous where they came from. To him, that had to feel like the ultimate sign of friendship: he could trust her with a part of him that he hadn’t even entrusted to most of his family yet. From that point on, she was on the List of People Ian Gallagher Would Do Anything For. Finding out about Terry and what had happened? He held a bake sale, of all things, to fundraise for her. Seeing that his brother—his best friend—was treating her like garbage? He put him in his place. Her boyfriend was beating her? He brought her home and made it his goal to find a safe place for her to stay, even if it ultimately didn’t work. She was going to move away from all of her meager support with that boyfriend? He didn’t just rally his own arguments—he brought in outside help with Lip, who he thought might tip the scales. It’s usually just a saying that true friends will help each other hide a body, but Ian literally tried to do that. Lucky for him, he has a good head on his shoulders and used it.

No, Ian doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends. We’ve seen that he has spheres of influence, if you will, and acquaintances that he can call upon when he needs them. (For example, the guys that helped with the preacher.) However, Ian has always struck me as a “quality over quantity” type of person. Being a soldier or an EMT isn’t lucrative, but they’re meaningful for someone who sees them as vehicles for helping people. Seeing more parts of the world than just Chicago has appealed to him in the past, but he seems perfectly content to carve out a spot for himself right here at home. Having only three best friends—Lip, Mandy, and Mickey—doesn’t seem like much of a hardship for him.

Ian and Romantic Pursuits

I hate to say that there were five, but from Ian’s perspective, there were. So, let’s talk about all five. Even though…there weren’t five. There was only one. We’ll save the best for last.

1.      Kash: The first of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. I hope it goes without saying that I hate this man with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I hate him so much. However, their interactions taught me a whole lot about how kind and compassionate Ian really is—and how naïve. Of course, he would believe that Kash loved him. The man was buying him all sorts of expensive gifts, and that’s what we see on all the commercials and in so many movies, isn’t it? Grand gestures of affection through expensive gifts. Poor as they were, Ian still scraped together the money to buy him baseball tickets and CDs, convinced as he was that that was all part of what you did in a relationship. That desire to do things like a “normal” married couple in s11? Yeah, that starts here. Ian has always been a planner, and he’s always bought into certain stereotypes. We can see that here. What we can also see is Ian’s compassionate, kind, loving soul. He cares so deeply for other people, even ones that he doesn’t know very well, especially if they are living in circumstances that mean something to him. (For example, the mentally ill woman they tried to help at work and the shelter kids whose situations were so similar to Mickey’s.) Kash being a closeted gay man living in misery with a wife he didn’t love and two children he never meant to have clearly tugged at Ian’s heartstrings. Even after everything that happens, even though Ian behaves as though they’re awkward exes who just happen to work together, he still covers for Kash. He gives him that head start and takes it upon himself to break the news to Linda that he’s gone. He defends Kash to Lip when the latter finally says exactly what we all know: he was a pedophile who deserved to rot in prison for what he did. As with Fiona’s trust, Ian’s loving soul, compassionate heart, and desire for love outside his siblings are virtues that have done him harm in the past. This is one such instance.

2.      Ned: The second of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. To be honest, I don’t believe that Ian would even characterize it that way. He seemed very aware that Ned was a distraction from his problems—from Mickey being in juvie, Monica falling into a depressive episode, the money in the squirrel fund being gone, Lip moving out, losing his shot at West Point, and getting denied for service due to his age. Again, though, Ian has always wanted to feel valued, and this rich dude was letting him stay in a fancy hotel room with anything he wanted readily available. This (disgusting predator) guy was giving him attention and a distraction with no strings attached. Then the complications roll in, and he’s once again faced with being the mistress to a closeted, married man. The difference here is that he’s not comfortable with it. He tries to tell Fiona twice, which is enormous for Ian when he has never been very good at communicating if it means burdening others with or even merely facing his own problems. But he tries to tell her. He rejects the GPS unit and tells Ned that he has a boyfriend, boxing him into a strictly sexual arrangement. (This, unfortunately, makes sense. It aligns with how Fiona viewed things: where Jimmy was concerned about it, she told him that it was “just sex.”) He is also visibly embarrassed to admit to Lip and Fiona what has been going on with Ned. By that point, Ian is a year and a half older and, while still scarred and warped in his views because of Kash, perhaps a bit wiser. Emotionally, he kept Ned at arm’s length most of the time. He used Ned not just as a distraction, but as a way to galvanize Mickey into taking their relationship a step forward. But Ian is still Ian, and Ian is compassionate to a fault. Ned played that card by asking if he could have a little understanding for a man whose life was falling apart. Sure, he can. He’s Ian, the Gallagher too empathetic for his own good at times. We know how that spirals out of control. It just goes to show that even when Ian was trying to maintain some emotional distance, his heart is simply too big and his perceptions too heavily impacted by the grooming he’d experienced with two different people by then, and so he [SPOILER ALERT] still feels enough of a connection to Ned after all these years to be mildly bothered that he passed away.

3.      Caleb: The third of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Ian’s relationship with Caleb strikes me as being similar to what he had with Ned. While more age-appropriate, Ian was very much using Caleb, just as Caleb was using him. That’s why it was so easy for both of them to walk away. Ian was in a difficult spot when they met. He was grateful to the firefighters who saved his life, but he had also just saved someone else at a moment when he was perhaps at his absolute lowest. That’s what he’s always wanted, isn’t it—to be a bit of a hero and help people? So, he’s understandably drawn there, first out of gratitude and then to be surrounded by very attractive gay firemen who helped people, saved his life, and invited him to be part of a function they were holding. But he made himself pretty clear from the start: he was interested in sex with Caleb. That was the draw. He still hasn’t come to terms with being bipolar and losing Mickey, but Ian has never not been with anyone for any extended length of time. That’s just who he is: he’s always sought some level of outward validation—from the army, Kash, Monica, Mickey, and so many others. We’re seeing him struggle with that now as he deals with the opportunities available to him as a mentally ill ex-con felon. So, he pursues Caleb as a distraction just like he did with Ned, only Caleb is a predator in his own right and can smell that his interest is coming from a place of weakness. He immediately (and initially unintentionally) preys on Ian’s desperate need for structure and order by insisting on a traditional date where Ian is very much out of his element and even goes so far as to instruct Ian on how to be intimate. It’s no wonder he mentions Mickey in these moments, as Mickey never wanted him to change, and Ian leans heavily (even slightly hyperbolically) into the fact that Mickey wasn’t a paragon of order and stability like Caleb outwardly appears. 

And I think why Ian puts up with it so long—being taught like a child, being used to upset Caleb’s parents, being paraded in front of his friends to make them jealous—is because he was getting something out of it too, just like with Ned. A stable place to live when their home ownership was in flux, a place away from his family when they weren’t providing the support he needed as he adjusted to his disorder, someone who validated his desires to help people regardless of their ulterior motives, and a physical distraction from his own problems. All of these parallel his relationship with Ned very closely. It was never going to last, of course. Ian is a strong person who temporarily forgot how strong he was because he forgot who he was, and Caleb didn’t want to be cared for—he wanted a project, like all of his sculptures. Being a project, being something that others see as needing to be fixed? That’s a hard no for Ian. It always has been. There’s a moment I love later in their relationship where Caleb tells him to turn off the lights when he goes out and lightly reprimands him for leaving one on the day prior. Ian is in a better place at that point, having regained a lot of his sense of self, and stares after him with indignation at being treated like a kid. He’s then lied to and cheated on, but I think that to mention those things to Caleb when they break up is to admit weakness on his own part—that he stuck with Caleb knowing that he was being mistreated, and Ian is not one to be called a victim. So, while we know from his discussions with Lip and Sue that the cheating and distrust bothered him most, he merely focused on Caleb lying about his sexuality, which removed a lot of the emotion from the situation—just like he did with Ned. It ultimately turned out to be a bad move since Caleb, being a skilled predator, made him question even his own sexuality in return, but we’re starting to see that Ian isn’t here to be someone’s toy anymore. Not an older, married man like Ned, but definitely not anyone his age either. I’m glad this pseudo-relationship happened because it showed Ian how strong he really was and that he could be in control of his own life. Sure, it destabilized him a little in the aftermath, but he worked through it. He leaned on his family, specifically Lip, who has always been his rock without the blurred lines that Fiona represented between sister/mother-figure/caretaker. Caleb is a garbage person, but Ian was the one who pulled the treasure from the trash, not him.

4.      Trevor: The fourth of Ian’s perceived romantic pursuits that really wasn’t. Trevor is perhaps the first relationship where we don’t see Ian dive in. Whether that’s because of his confusion over Trevor’s gender identity or the fact that he was really beginning to fully mature as an adult by that point (ostensibly finishing his education, getting a career, being fully self-sufficient, etc.), he tried to take his time and not jump right in. They hung out, talked around the neighborhood, and yes, engaged in some casual intimacy at the club. Again, Ian might not be in a full relationship, but he’s never without someone for long. At that point in the series, all he was missing was a relationship when it comes to traditional, “normal” goals for people to have. But Trevor posed a situation he’s never been in before since, while gay himself, Ian has never been very interested in activism or engaging in the LGBT community. It’s just not in his culture or environment, so to be faced with someone he’s interested in that challenges a lot of his views of gender and sexuality is something he takes his time with. Unfortunately, Trevor is younger than him and not quite as mature, not quite as experienced. He tells Ian he has plenty of friends and doesn’t need another, which is an ultimatum that has never really sat very well with me personally because I’m generally of the mind that if a person needs time and you really care for them, you’ll let them have that time. I’m not unsympathetic to Trevor: he’s been burned before and has his own trauma stemming from responses to his identity, so it makes complete sense for him not to be patient in this regard. He shouldn’t have to be—but then, Ian shouldn’t have to rush into anything he’s not 100% certain he wants either. That’s exactly what he does, though, because Ian does for others without thinking of the implications for himself a lot of the time. They make great friends, but they don’t make great partners. Trevor treats Ian similarly to Caleb in that he’s a bit of a project. Trevor educates him on the LGBT community and incorporates him into his ventures for the shelter without ever really showing much interest in Ian’s life or family, which suits Ian just fine because for as interested as he is in helping with the shelter and as attracted to Trevor as he is, he seems to know they’re not compatible. Ian, who has been having sex since he was far too young, takes a step back from it when they run into compatibility issues. (And pushes back on the pressure to bottom with some of his own—neither of them were in the right on that.) He doesn’t ask much about Trevor’s family or try to be part of his personal life. They sort of embody the “friends with benefits” stereotype: they hang out, they have sex, and that’s really all there is to their relationship. 

The reason Ian doubles down on trying to make it work isn’t because there was a future for them before Mickey broke out. It’s because he thinks he’s lost Mickey forever, he knows he’s lost Monica forever, and he’s not going to get the support he needs from his family when they couldn’t stand Monica and Fiona told him what he already knew to be true, namely that Mickey being an escaped convict would destroy everything Ian worked so hard for if he got involved. So, he does what Ian does. He needs that distraction—he needs to run from these strong emotions he can’t process, so he bottles them up and unfairly hopes that Trevor will provide some of that comfort after cheating on him with Mickey. (Had Mickey been released, I think they would have broken up. Instead, that was the first match Ian lit, but certainly not the last.) Now, the thing is, Trevor said at the start that he didn’t want to be Ian’s friend. He’s also younger and less mature in a relationship, which means he threw the concept of love out there prematurely, just like Ian thought what he had with Kash was love. The death throes of their relationship were a back and forth where Ian was spiraling and seeking comfort, and Trevor was providing some while keeping their relationship pretty amorphous. (Were they exes? Were they friends? Were they people who shared interests and danced around each other? Were they going to get back together? They never officially broke up—it fizzled and resurged, then fizzled for good.) Ultimately, whatever it was that they had couldn’t survive Mickey, Monica, or Gay Jesus. Trevor wasn’t prepared to deal with a full-blown manic episode, and based on his hands-off approach with involving himself in Ian’s life even before the Mickey-shaped bomb got dropped on them, it doesn’t seem like he really wanted to anyway. He did what he’s always done: prioritized his shelter, which I’m not deriding in the slightest. By that point, Ian was too far gone to care that he disappeared anyway. Had the situation been different and he was getting the support from his family that he needed, it doesn’t seem like he would have cared much there either.

5.      Mickey: Finally. Only took over five thousand words to get here. I’ll preface this with something that anyone who knows me from other fandoms is already well aware of, namely that I don’t do romance. Ever. Never been interested. The relationships I’ve always been most passionately interested in are platonic ones, especially “found families” and siblings, which is probably obvious from the other five thousand words here. Ian and Mickey are the first relationship I’ve actively shipped or written for in a fandom. They’re the first I’ve been invested in to this extent. As such, one of the biggest pet peeves I had when I first joined this fandom was the saying, “Ian fell first, Mickey fell harder.” These two wonderful dumbasses face planted on the concrete in front of the Kash and Grab in s1 and never recovered. I could go on forever about these two, but that particular wall of text would probably be too daunting for even the most avid Gallavich stan to traverse, so I’ll keep it fairly brief. As we can see above, Ian has a very strict sense of what he “should” want in a partner. Someone who is moderately successful in their chosen field, makes enough money to at least live comfortably, and typically does something that helps other people (a doctor, a fireman, a youth counselor). These aren’t passionate people. They’re not men who operate on instinct the way most of the people in his life have always had to by virtue of their social standing. They have life goals and opportunities that he envies, and Ian has a great deal of compassion for them when they hit a roadblock or things don’t work out. The amazing dichotomy of Ian Gallagher is that he straddles a line most people can’t between the rough neighborhood that has instilled in him all of his values/behaviors and the middle-class mentality of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and aspiring to more. Ian has always aimed for what Lip said wasn’t possible for poor people: being successful without having to scam or steal. But as I said way back at the beginning of this manifesto, the South Side is his home. His family is his family. And none of the people he’s been with personify the South Side quite like Mickey—they don’t personify home like Mickey. 

And I think that’s where the initial draw for Ian is. (I’m going to focus on Ian’s side since he’s who your question focused on.) The other guys look great on paper, and Ian’s brain says that that’s what he should aim for. We know better, though. We know that Ian has an enormous heart that belongs first and foremost to his family and their home. His heart says that this person—this dirty, rude, mean, violent person—is home. His heart says this person is everything about himself that he denies having, just like Ian was everything about Mickey that the latter declined to openly acknowledge for so long. I don’t like relationships built on “making each other better.” I really don’t. The wonderful thing about this is that it’s never been that way. Ian didn’t change Mickey. He’s exactly who he’s always been, but he’s grown past the fear of his own emotions and Terry’s response to them. He’s still a thief, a con artist, violent, and rude. Mickey didn’t change Ian either. He’s still rigidly conforming to certain stereotypes of what he thinks he should want, seeking structure (to his own detriment at times), and not a great communicator. The point for them is that they complement each other, not that they make the other a better person—not even that they bring something out of each other that wasn’t already there. That’s what Ian’s other relationships did. They made him shave off his edges so that he could fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s not happiness. It’s simply what he thought he was supposed to do—what “normal” people did. 

With Mickey, he doesn’t have to worry so much about what is normal or acceptable. He doesn’t have to worry about whether or not his life is objectively “on track,” not until fairly recently. Mickey is the only person he’s ever been with who has accepted him for who he is, faults and strengths alike, without the underlying insinuation that he should be aiming for something else or pretending to be whatever the other person needs him to be in order to care for them. Kash needed an escape—Ian provided it. Ned needed a very specific brand of toy—Ian played that role. Caleb needed a project to feel fulfilled—Ian went along with it for a bit. Trevor needed someone who accepted him as he was but did things his way—Ian did that. To care for Mickey has only ever meant being himself because all Mickey ever really needed was him. Mickey didn’t need an escape from his home—his relationship with his family is more complicated than that. Mickey didn’t need to be saved from his upbringing—it’s what made him the person Ian fell in love with and who he is happy to be. Mickey didn’t need someone to change who he is on a fundamental level because unless it is going to get him into trouble and separate them, Ian never wanted him to. (Even then, it’s about what he does, not who he is.) And yes, I’m sure that there’s a level of excitement that Ian finds exhilarating where Mickey is concerned, but I tend to believe it goes a lot deeper than that. What he finds exciting about Mickey is what Mickey embodies about the South Side—about home. About his own upbringing, but also Ian’s. About Frank and Monica, his siblings, school, work, ROTC—existing and surviving in an environment where it’s not guaranteed that you’ll have money to keep the heat on this winter or feed your family. They spent the early seasons living in a constant state of fight or flight. They couldn’t afford not to. And there’s excitement in that. Look at how many people say that the first seasons are their favorite! There hasn’t been a huge shift in the quality or direction of the writing, just the trajectory of the characters. They’ve gotten older, and their problems have been different. It’s not about survival so much of the time anymore, but those are the storylines that excite us. For Ian, that exhilaration in the constant battle of survival in their neighborhood is sewn into the fiber of his being just like it is Mickey’s. He saw his home in Mickey before they truly fell in love, and when that followed, Mickey became home.

In Conclusion

Ian has spent his entire life looking for the “right” path only to realize that it was laid before him: his family, his small circle of friends, and Mickey. I love that that is coming full circle this season, where [SPOILER ALERT] marriage has almost made him regress a bit to that place where there must be a right way of doing things going forward, and slowly but surely, we’re seeing him loosen up.

Good morning. It’s Ian Gallagher loving hours.

#shameless #ian gallagher #it's ian gallagher loving hours #shameless meta #well that took six hours #and I didn't get more writing done #but I feel accomplished

[jeongyunhoed]

Past-Present-Future Black Dahlia

Two major tragedies bring Lee Mirae closer to the edge as she goes through the stages of grief in a more violent manner that would affect not only her relationships with her boyfriend Jeong Yunho and her half-brother Choi San, but also has her becoming closer with the immortal mutant Kang Yeosang. Fueled by rage, grief, and pain, along with a very rude awakening that has Mirae spiraling out of control and questioning everything she holds dear.

Group: ATEEZ Member: Yunho Pairing: Jeong Yunho / OC Genre: Action, adventure, angst, fantasy

Watch Out! : Violence, blood, death, grief and loss, major character deaths, use of weapons, some jealousy (but no cheating ofc), implied smut (not sure if there is any but i’m putting it out there nonetheless), mental illness (probably?), gambling and alcohol

Anything else? : Mentions of other idols of course as well as other characters. SuperM, Dean, Chanyeol, Zelo, soloist Park Jihoon to name a few.

Author’s Note: First chapter is here! Compared to the previous stories from the AU, this might have very long chapters, like more than 10 pages in google docs long. But anyway, tag list is open, and yeah. Enjoy the first of a rollercoaster of emotions.

This whole first chapter also, is me giving brief backstories of what happened before/backstories of many characters here. Basic plot is mine, characters are not. This is all for fun/entertainment/emotional anguish. 

Masterlist

Chapter 1

When one is at their breaking point, everything begins to change.  The lines between right and wrong are blurred, and one’s moral compass begins to spin into oblivion. 

9:00 p.m. 

Laughter filled the almost empty space of Viva Polo, having closed for the night except for a table occupied by Lee Mirae, Park Chanyeol, and Kwon Hyuk. The rest of the tables had already been overturned, marking the end of another day at work, at least for Chanyeol. The three of them had a tradition of meeting up every week, something they started doing after the previous adventures they had. 

The three of them were mutants, and to their knowledge, they were the last surviving members of the group that saved the country, if not the world during the Seoul attack. A year after that, the three of them found each other again, reuniting to save the country once again from an evil cult bent on achieving utopia through taking control of its citizens. Two adventures that had major consequences on the three of them, and events that they will forever remember. 

Two of them, Mirae and Hyuk, were classified as omega-level or level 5 mutants, with powers that were impossible to surpass by any other mutant thus far. Mirae was not only gifted in a mastery of hand-to-hand combat, both armed and unarmed, but she had the gift of manipulating potential energy into kinetic energy. She could turn virtually any object into an explosive and if channeled to an extreme extent, was able to level a skyscraper. 

With her abilities came the secondary gift of a healing factor that made her almost immortal and slowed down her aging immensely. Because of her ability to manipulate energy, she was also able to generate static that resulted in a very strong psychic block that was only made stronger by another omega-level mutant, Jang Ino. From the adventures she had on her own and even after the Utopian cult, another ability manifested itself in her; taking souls and trapping them into objects, usually her deck of cards. 

Meanwhile, Kwon Hyuk, a well-known music producer and songwriter, was a level 5 telekinetic and could move anything with his mind. His psychic abilities also gave him the gift of producing shields that were almost impenetrable. 

 In their adventure into the Utopian cult, Hyuk developed his telepathic abilities, which he used to extract memories or read into memories of others. Hyuk was nearly captured by the goons from the Utopian cult when they met again, and has since tried to use his powers as discreetly as possible with some difficulty. 

Hyuk didn’t formally join Mirae and Chanyeol until the later days of the Seoul attack, having laid low, undiscovered by Ino who was at the time, serving his father Professor Inhwan Jang. Hyuk had openly used his powers in front of the group during a time when Mirae and one of her other colleagues, a telekinetic named Luhan, were affected by the goblin king’s inducement of traumatic memories that caused their powers to manifest for the first time. 

It was there that Hyuk realized that he could do so much more with his mutant gifts, rather than use them solely for trivial purposes.

Hyuk had a cousin, the singer Lee Midam, who was under his entertainment agency, in the 10-member group called Silver. Midam was, like him, a psychic, but of a different kind. Midam was a psychic that could make the worst fears or strongest desires of another person come to life before them. Midam also had the ability to sense when a person will die in the near future. 

Park Chanyeol was a level 4 pyrokinetic, also known as an alpha-level mutant. He created and manipulated fire in all its aspects, from turning into a fire being to being able to put out and set fire onto virtually anything. In his fire form, he was granted the ability to fly and heal and even out of his fire form, Chanyeol could withstand extreme heat. 

He worked with Mirae in the Center for Paranormal Research upon his discovery by Ino, leaving his work in his mother’s Italian restaurant behind to find purpose for his abilities. For some time after the Seoul attack, Chanyeol thought he was the only one left, until he was seen by another survivor, their tech guy Choi Junhong, looking over the remains of what used to be the Center, the epicenter of the entire attack. 

From the adventures they had, the three of them still managed to continue with their lives. Hyuk stayed in his agency to work on music, Chanyeol helped around his parents’ restaurant and live club, while Mirae ran the music store that she took ownership in after the passing of her adoptive parents. Hyuk and Chanyeol also helped other mutants like them, Mirae’s old colleagues from her days as an assassin under a sanitarium, practice controlling their powers. 

With the way the events of the past years shaped them, their lives would forever be intertwined and they knew it. Even with the disagreements that occurred in the final days of the Seoul attack, with the three of them being the only survivors from that group that acted, they were like family to each other. 

“One of these days, we’ll go on a mission, do something, just the three of us again,” Chanyeol said fondly, finishing the last slice of pizza from his place. 

“Even if we don’t go on something like that, we should still do something, just the three of us,” Mirae repeated with a grin. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” 

“Yeah, someone needs to watch your back this time, you nearly got your powers taken away,” Hyuk pointed out, taking a sip of his iced tea. 

The last adventure Mirae went on involved a demon and their followers, the one responsible for a long-running conspiracy that went behind the glitz and glamour of the country’s entertainment industry. Mirae was outmatched and captured, her powers being used to channel the summoning of the demon Ose. It left her boyfriend Yunho and her half-brother San, along with her old colleagues including immortal mutant billionaire Kang Yeosang, to be the ones to save her and the world. 

Mirae shook her head. “It was only one time. Just one. But I’m starting to think I’m losing my touch, to be honest,” She looked down at her now-empty plate. 

“I wouldn’t think of it that way if I were you,” Hyuk patted her shoulder. “You still have your powers, don’t you? Didn’t Junhong say your powers only got stronger after that? You’re practically invincible.” 

“Says the person who is also practically invincible,” Mirae grinned. 

“But I don’t heal like you do. Chanyeol doesn’t even heal like you unless he sets himself on fire.” 

“Can you stop talking about injuries now? I think we’ll be late for that training session both of you promised the guys,” Mirae nudged the telekinetic. 

Chanyeol got up at the mention of the training session. All of their plates floating in mid-air, the cutlery and glasses sorting themselves out, as Hyuk followed the taller male into the kitchen, making sure nothing dropped. Mirae smiled to herself as she removed the tablecloth and the napkins. 

The boys at the safehouse would be waiting for them, San and Yunho included. Choi San was her half-brother, and had almost the same abilities as her, including her healing factor and a mastery of martial arts. Unlike Mirae, who channeled her powers mainly through her extendable staff, San channeled his into a harpoon gun. 

San’s powers first manifested in his high school years, as a result of the constant pressure placed on him by their father, who wanted him to pursue a career he himself wanted. Upon learning how to control his abilities better, San ran away from home, eventually learning the skills he knew to become a paid hitman. San also witnessed Mirae getting taken away to be interned at the sanitarium, and he looked everywhere for her.

Jeong Yunho was Mirae’s boyfriend. Yunho was also like her, skilled in hand-to-hand combat, both unarmed and armed. Yunho was also a mutant, an immortal mutant who possessed the ability to teleport, but could only do so in dark places. 

Yunho’s powers manifested when he was killed in Morocco during what would be Mirae’s final mission before she was discharged. Her memories of him were seemingly erased in the final electroshock therapy session used to alter her recollection of missions. They only found each other again when Mirae was being targeted by the Kang crime family, descendants of Yeosang who held a disdain for mutants. 

Hyuk returned from the kitchen. “What’s that smile about?” He asked. 

“Nothing, nothing, I just realized how it’s been a while since we did something like this together,” Mirae replied. 

“Lee Mirae, you’re getting sappy.” 

“Did I lie?” She laughed. 

“No, but that’s weird of you,” Hyuk laughed as well. “I mean you are right. I’ve been busy practically managing the group, Chanyeol’s busy here, we’re just busy living our lives.” 

“My point stands that we’ve never done anything together in a while, unless those goblins come up again and try to kill us,” Mirae joked. 

“Hopefully not,” Said the psychic, the table in front of them turning itself over on top of another table. “Even with the way things ended back then, I’m glad the three of us found each other.” 

The kitchen doors opened and Chanyeol returned, wiping his hands, with his backpack in tow. “Whose car are we using?” He asked. 

Without another word, the three of them extended their fists. Both Mirae and Chanyeol had scissors, while Hyuk’s hand remained curled into a fist. “Guess it’s yours then, Mr. Psychic,” Mirae grinned. 

“Be glad I stopped for gas before coming here,” He gave them a look as they left the restaurant. 

~ 

The car pulled up in front of a brick-walled building that had a vending machine. It was the entrance to the safehouse that now became the headquarters of everything mutant-related. It was also where Mirae’s old colleagues were now staying, with the exception of two; Jung Wooyoung and Park Seonghwa. 

The three of them got out, sensing the slight change in the air as they approached the machine. They knew there was a sort of cloaking over the spot that shielded anyone from seeing that the vending machine moved to the side to reveal a secret passage. Chanyeol, Mirae, and Hyuk entered the dark passageway and stopped at the red door at the very end. 

The safehouse was similarly modeled to the recreation room in the Center for Paranormal Research, with a couch and beanbags surrounding a flat-screen television and several game consoles. There was a sleeping quarters and a shower area and a kitchen that was only stocked with instant food. Ino and Junhong’s labs and offices were in the two other doors in the kitchen area that had a small dining table where they would at least take turns in eating. 

This time, the safehouse had since expanded thanks to Ino’s ability to manipulate matter. Junhong’s lab was much bigger, more beds were added to the sleeping quarters, and there was a small training room that Junhong fortified. A shelf was behind the television, showing all the weapons carried by the group of men who now resided in the place; a rapier, a set of nunchaku, and a few axes and shurikens. Those belonged to three people: Kim Hongjoong, Choi Jongho, and Song Mingi. 

All of them were trained assassins, skilled in hand-to-hand combat both unarmed and armed. While Mirae and Yunho were no longer part of the group, the remaining members were turned into personal guards of the Kang crime family and underwent several experiments to turn them into super soldiers. All of them were impervious to pain and were a lot more agile in their movements. 

It was those experiments that triggered the mutant gene in each of them, their own mutant abilities manifesting around the same time. Hongjoong possessed superhuman speed and could be as fast as the speed of light that also enabled him to heal if wounded. Seonghwa was a telekinetic, whose powers also made itself known if his eyes and fingertips glowed green. Mingi, like Chanyeol, was also a pyrokinetic, but unlike Chanyeol, could only manipulate flames that already exist. 

Wooyoung on the other hand, possessed the ability to turn into a shadow being. His shadow form allowed him to be intangible, as well as give him superhuman strength and a healing factor. But along with his shadow form, Wooyoung developed a kind of extrasensory perception, where he could see past and future events from a person or an object, or even a name. 

Jongho had the painful ability to manipulate his bone structure, and his arms and legs would produce a sharp spike that could pierce anything. 

They immediately noticed that a few other weapons were shelved, as they were likely in the labs or in the training room; a set of sai, katanas, a bow and a quiver full of arrows, and the harpoon gun. Everyone was indeed present. 

“Hello?” Hyuk called out as they closed the door behind them. 

“We’re here!” Chanyeol called out as well. 

“Yunho? San?” Mirae spoke, looking around the empty living room. 

Suddenly materializing in front of them was Ino. “Good! You’re all here! The rest of them are in the training rooms, but can you wait a little bit? There’s something I’m finishing and I hope the three of you can test it out for me,” He said. 

Jang Ino was a prime example of a true omega-level mutant, with abilities so powerful he was almost like a god. Ino had the gift of manipulating matter, inter-dimensional teleportation, telekinesis, telepathy, duplication with sentient clones, intangibility, precognition as well as the ability to see everything as it happened. Ino’s abilities manifested much later than the rest of them despite not being much older than Chanyeol, Hyuk, and Mirae, and thus had more difficulty trying to control each of his abilities. 

“Really? What is it?” Mirae asked as Chanyeol put down his backpack while she put down her staff. 

Ino looked excited. “Another training room, or…?” 

“Another Danger Room,” Hyuk nodded. “Can it not turn into a vortex manipulator again?” 

“I can’t promise that, but it’s as safe as ever, right? Just like old times,” Ino was beaming. “Ah, well, you might as well see it for yourself. I’ll call the rest of them,” and he disappeared. 

“Are we supposed to wait for them here?” Chanyeol glanced at them, and they shrugged. 

A commotion erupted from the door that was Junhong’s lab, making them turn around. “For a telekinetic, you could’ve aimed better! You could’ve killed me!” Hongjoong appeared, shooting Seonghwa a look. 

“You sped away in time! You knew it wasn’t going to reach you anyway!” Seonghwa argued back. 

“Well I wasn’t able to, not when Mingi keeps playing with that lighter of his! It’s like having to pass by a dragon each time I’m next to him.” 

“So your situation is actually my fault, is that what you’re saying?” Mingi spoke, looking at them incredulously. “I was practicing my pyrokinesis the way Chanyeol hyung showed me, right, San?”

“Stop including me!” said the male who had a visible white streak in his hair similar to Mirae’s. 

“This was a department store-bought shirt and Jongho just had to ruin it!” Wooyoung shrieked, pointing to the tears in his sleeve. 

“Welcome to my world, Wooyoung! Live with it!” Jongho shot back.

“At least I don’t have spikes coming out of my sleeves and pants!”

Chanyeol and Mirae exchanged looks. Hyuk stifled a laugh. “Kind of reminds you how much we bickered back then, huh? I bet those guys would’ve loved to see a repeat of this,” He chuckled. 

“Nothing seems to have changed after all,” Mirae laughed, their reactions making the group stop in their tracks. “We just had dinner,” She explained. “I see training’s been going well?” 

“Not so much when the rest of them bicker more than San and I do,” out of the group came Yunho, who immediately swept her up in a hug then exchanged high fives with Hyuk and Chanyeol as he pulled away. 

The taller form of Junhong appeared from the crowd as well, with scorch marks on his lab coat and a hole in his clipboard. Ino had materialized again as well. “So, the Danger Room, Junhong?” Hyuk asked. 

“Yes, yes, the Danger Room,” Junhong led them to the pair of doors on the other side of the space. He pushed the button, the doors opening up to reveal a dark room covered in what looked like steel tiles. There was a panel of buttons near the doors from the inside and on one side of the room, was a booth. “Ta-da!” He announced, looking over at the three of them, while the rest looked amazed. 

“A little shift in elements here and there, I was able to expand this entire space of ours, make it a little more familiar, don’t you think?” Ino smiled. 

Mirae approached the panel of buttons near the side. “Ice fortress, dystopia, post-apocalypse, zombie invasion, alien invasion, gladiator arena,” She read out. Mirae turned to the next set of buttons and looked over at Junhong. “Why is my name at the top of this panel? Am I a level of difficulty?” She asked, looking puzzled. 

“The highest,” Ino spoke. “But that level’s reserved for the three of you, not that these guys can’t do it, but the three of you are more experienced.” 

“San and Yunho are just as experienced, if you ask me,” Mirae pointed out with a shrug, choosing not to argue any more. 

“Yes, but they’ve never been through the same missions as you and Chanyeol did back at the Center, remember?” Ino reminded her. “The creatures at the museum, the goblin warriors at the train station, and their throne room, and the jewelry store at night?” 

“I remember the jewelry store one,” Hyuk said, glancing at her. “We were coming from dinner when the store exploded. It was the time I found out Mirae was a mutant.” 

Mirae smiled at her friend’s recollection. “Yeah, you came from that singing competition too.” 

Chanyeol grinned. ���The train station, I remember that well. Everyone hated us when they saw what was happening in broad daylight. Junmyeon got hot coffee thrown at him...” He looked down the more he remembered. 

Ino noticed Wooyoung squinting at him, the rest of them looking fascinated by their brief trip down memory lane. “Well, I thought I’d show the rest of them how the three of you would do things in these simulations. Hyuk, I know you joined us late at the time, but you still know a thing or two on how to handle non-human entities, right?” He said. 

“Oh yeah, I was with you all at the Esteholm,” Hyuk smiled. Sensing everyone else’s confused expressions, he chuckled. “It’s a hidden marketplace for non-humans, goblins, witches, warlocks, ogres…” 

“You mean those things were actually here all this time?! On this planet?!” Mingi gaped at him and they nodded. 

“Okay, okay, we’ll have a lot of time to talk about that later, but let’s have the three of you take this new Danger Room for a test run?” Ino suggested. “The rest of you follow Junhong into the booth, we’ll all watch from there.” 

“What are we taking on?” Mirae asked. 

Hyuk approached the panels. “What about…” He stopped when he read the mode at the bottom. “Evil villain mansion? What kind of mode is that?” He laughed. 

Chanyeol and Mirae laughed as well. Mirae glanced at the booth, giving a thumbs up to Yunho and San, who looked excited as did the rest of them. “It’s exactly what it is. The mansion of the bad guy,” Junhong said from the booth. 

“Alright then, put up the difficulty rate to my name, I guess,” Mirae said. 

“That’s what I had in mind. Initializing evil villain mansion, Lee Mirae difficulty,” Junhong announced. 

Hyuk backed away, until he was back to back with Chanyeol and Mirae. They heard tiles shifting and a swirling of colors all around them, bringing in a strong gust of wind. Mirae took out her staff from her jacket pocket and extended it. After a few moments, the swirling was disappearing, and they found themselves in what was the ballroom of a large, abandoned house that had some bits of modern technology on the locks of the doors and the windows. 

“Okay, so this is the evil villain mansion,” Chanyeol mumbled as they took in their surroundings. “Where’s the evil villain, then?” 

Mirae took a step forward, seeing two metal circles near the large fireplace. There was a seven-pointed star engraved on one circle, a hexagon that had the shape of a keyhole in the middle engraved on the other. The circles began to turn, until it slowly went up to reveal coffin-shaped tubes. 

“This is oddly specific,” She muttered. 

Hyuk and Chanyeol stared at the tubes as well. The closer they looked, they saw bodies, blackened and as if they had been mummified. “This is very specific,” Chanyeol nodded, feeling a chill down his spine as they approached the tubes. 

Back at the booth, the rest of them stared at what was happening. “Can they see us?” Jongho asked curiously. 

“I don’t think they can, can they?” Hongjoong glanced at Junhong, who was looking at the panels of controls. “But the surroundings look so real.” 

“I know I should be used to this, but this is something I’ve never seen before…” San was staring at the tubes that were opening up in front of the three. 

“Me neither, and I thought I’ve seen everything,” Yunho nodded. 

From the side of the room, Wooyoung could suddenly see flashes of scenes in his head. He looked back at what was happening, seeing Hyuk, Mirae, and Chanyeol nearly destroy the surroundings they were in as humanoid demons with large talons began to attack them. The flashes kept coming. He could see people he hadn’t seen before having been inside the very booth they were in. Yet, Wooyoung wasn’t sure if this had already happened or it was about to happen. He stayed watching the simulation that Mirae, Hyuk, and Chanyeol were in. 

~ 

“Kind of familiar, isn’t it? The train station,” Mirae’s eyes and fingertips were glowing as she sent shockwaves towards the two demons, but to no avail. Instead, the demons clapped their hands, sending similar shockwaves towards her. “They’re parrots.” 

“What do you mean parrots?” Chanyeol had transformed into his fire form, dodging the attacks that were coming towards him. 

“They’re copying everything we do,” Mirae spun her staff a few times before hitting the demon, only to be sent back by the other, who had turned into a fiery figure as well. 

“Can they copy this?” Hyuk waved his hand, sending the two demons in mid-air. His eyes widened when the figure also raised their claws at him, lifting him up and off the floor. “This is impossible-” He crashed into the wall, moving away when some of the decor fell down. 

“Looks like Junhong had his work cut out for him,” Chanyeol tried to burn down the doors of the room until the surroundings changed into what looked like a massive dock full of zeppelins and tables full of volatile chemicals in test tubes and beakers. “Yeah, now I can see why Mirae turned into a level of difficulty.” 

“Let’s try not to touch anything, or interact with anything on those tables,” Mirae looked around on alert. 

They heard a blast from all the way on the other side of the room. “Looks like they found us,” Hyuk said, trying to move the zeppelins as carefully as possible towards the source of the blasts. 

“Those might explode if you let them get blasted,” Chanyeol called out at the telekinetic. 

“Would you rather we get out of here with those? We don’t even know what to use these for” Hyuk pointed out, still trying to move the airships as the blasts grew louder, the impact exploding the tables closest to it. “At least they get blasted and we don’t-” 

Boom. 

There was a blast on their side of the dock, sending the three of them to the floor, as bits of shrapnel and the chemicals on the tables exploded. A large cloud of smoke enveloped them, soon revealing that they were no longer at the dock. They were back in the Danger Room, or at least what was left of the Danger Room.

Mirae opened her eyes, feeling considerably beaten as she looked around, surprised at what she was seeing. Her clothes were scorched, her staff was gone, and from the gust of wind that hit her, she realized what happened. 

The safehouse seemed to have exploded. 

Mirae looked around for a sign of Chanyeol and Hyuk. Was she still in the simulation? “Mirae! Mirae! Mirae! Are you alright?” She turned around, seeing Junhong, Yunho, and Hongjoong run up to her. “The machines overloaded when I was about to take you three out of there,” The tech guy explained. 

She nodded, a feeling of dread suddenly overcoming her as she looked around the area. “Chanyeol? Hyuk?” She called out, kicking away a few bits and pieces of the rubble that surrounded them. “Chanyeol-” She stopped, feeling her heart sink. 

Chanyeol was lying on the floor, a puddle of blood near his head, and bits of shrapnel having hit his sides. Mirae looked around for a sign of the telekinetic, only to realize that he was also lying on the floor, eyes glazed over. A piece of shrapnel hit his head.

“Chanyeol, Hyuk,” Mirae bent down, moving the rubble away from her best friends. She refused to believe it, refused to think that what happened really happened. “Chanyeol, Hyuk,” She took one of the sharp rocks and cut open her wrist, pouring some of the blood into where Chanyeol was hit. “Come on, both of you, this isn’t funny,” She saw that they weren’t moving while her wrist had already healed. 

Junhong bent down to check Hyuk’s pulse, only for his expression to fall when he realized there was none. “Mirae,” He tried to say. 

“No, I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t believe you,” Mirae shook her head profusely, crawling up to Hyuk. Tears were already falling from her eyes as the reality was hitting her bit by bit. “No, no, this can’t happen, not here, not now, no,” She patted his face, but no response. “No, Hyuk, no, don’t, please-” A sob escaped her as she held his body. “Hyuk, no, no, no, no, no,” She sobbed, reaching out to hold Chanyeol’s hand that was going cold. “No, please no, Chanyeol, Hyuk, you two can stop it now, please…” 

“Mirae,” Junhong said again. 

Hongjoong and Yunho exchanged looks, hearing the rest of their colleagues including San appear, all of them had traces of the smoke from the explosion on them. 

“No!” Mirae shook her head again, until she broke down. They were gone. Her best friends. Gone.

#kdiner #ateez #ateez au #ateez scenarios #ateez timestamps #ateez angst #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #ateez hongjoong #yunho #jeong yunho #ateez yunho #yeosang #kang yeosang #ateez yeosang #san #choi san #ateez san #mingi #song mingi #ateez mingi #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #jongho #choi jongho #ateez jongho

[ask-iamnotanalicorn]

Previous: The Flim Flam Timeline

The Wasteland Timeline:

This is the story of when Equestria fell.

And this it the story of when Equestria rose again.

The trials began as they always do: with the return of Nightmare Moon. The celestial sisters clashed, and Celestia fell. Heedless of the struggle it would be to keep the Sun set with its alicorn princess banished inside it, Nightmare Moon did just that, determined that her traitorous sister experience Nightmare’s punishment.

Nightmare’s reign of Equestria was strained, but Equestria could have borne it. But within a year, the capital was attacked by the Changelings, desperate to replenish their stores of pony love that had been stymied by the nation’s state of fear and uncertainty. Nightmare Moon was barely managing to repel the threat when the Crystal Empire returned, and King Sombra began to march on her northern borders. With attacks from within and attacks from without, a distrusted leader on the throne, and economic failure rippling across the country as readily as the shifting front lines, the ponies of Equestria were more torn than ever.

So of course that’s when Discord escaped.

The upside of Discord’s release was that it temporarily stopped the fighting. Even King Sombra was smart enough to withdraw in the face of the mad draconequus on a quest of vengeance against all ponies. Queen Chrysalis and Queen Nightmare Moon (who had absconded herself at first sign of Discord’s escape, using every possible trick to keep him from finding her) formed a temporary peace treaty in order to seek a solution - for a world ruled by Discord was useless to all of them. (Granted, the Changelings could withdraw to their protected realm, but Chrysalis had tasted power and wasn’t about to let Discord have it all. She was quite looking forward to stabbing Nightmare Moon in the back afterwards.)

Their solution: a magical contract with the long-imprisoned centaur, Tirek. Tirek was more than happy to oblige. He single-handedly decimated Sombra’s troops, gorging himself on the magic of Crystal Empire and Equestrian ponies alike. It is possible that, if Discord hadn’t come to see what all the fuss was about himself, Tirek would have kept right on gorging to the very limit of the contract that bound him.

When the two titans clashed, the battle that ensued sundered hundreds of miles of landscape. Canterlot bore the greatest brunt; the castle collapsed completely from its cliffside home, the city little more than ruins. Discord’s attacks spread wildly unpredictable waves of chaos magic across much of Equestria. And when at long last Tirek had defeated him and sucked him dry, the lingering effects of that chaos magic stayed rooted in the ground like weeds.

It seemed, for the briefest moment, as if the worst problem was over. But of course, a power-maddened Tirek is a worse threat - because at least Discord doesn’t go out of his way to destroy everything in sight. Drunk on chaos magic, Tirek easily broke the tenuous contract with the queens and set across the landscape, draining ponies by the thousands and carving swaths through the countryside for the sheer wicked joy of destruction. His power was even mighty enough to destroy the changeling hive, overpowering its magical protections.

There was no choice - the two remaining rulers of any species in the land had to either defeat their own creation or face the loss of all they held dear. Nightmare Moon called upon the power of the Moon itself, drawing it nearer to Equestria in a desperate gambit. Tidal waves rocked Equestria’s coastlines, submerging Manehattan and other coastal cities entirely, and the alicorn of the night shone with deadly moonlit radiance as she bombarded Tirek with the full brunt of her power. But even Nightmare Moon at the height of her power was not strong enough to stop Tirek at the height of his, and he struck her down against the surface of the Moon itself. Some of the dislodged chunks rained down on the world, damaging more of not only Equestria, but many other countries on that side of the planet.

Tirek seemed to have won; all he had left to deal with was one small, angry changeling queen. An assured victory, no doubt.

He could not have known how wrong he was. For a changeling might give its magic willingly to a spell like Tirek’s with no ill effects, but an unwilling changeling queen will not be robbed of her power easily. As Tirek’s powers drain magic, so changeling powers drain love - and no one in all the world had such self-love as Tirek. The cycle of Tirek draining her magic and Chrysalis draining his became a self-consuming spell spiral that ultimately imploded upon itself, taking both creatures with it.

The resulting explosion could be heard across the celestial sea. For a few moments, there was something like an artificial sun on the horizon - a sun that had set directly on Equestria.

Then came the silence. After three years of war, devastation, and disasters unlike any the world had ever seen, there was silence.

And as the silence stretched, the survivors stirred.

Earth ponies, pegasi, unicorns, crystal ponies, and zebras; yaks, cows, goats, donkeys, and buffalo; gryphons, dragons, hippogryphs, minotaurs, and changelings: in spite of everything, many had survived. They rose from their hiding places to find an Equestria and Crystal Empire in ruins. No major cities still stood; borders and coastlines were unrecognizable. Large swaths of land once green and lush were barren and blasted, and spots of chaos magic lay in wait for creatures unwise enough to enter them unprotected. The moon hung wrecked in a dark sky, shining in shattered glory down on the devastation that had been the once-rich land of Equestria.

But the great destroyers were gone. None of the titans and tyrants who had brought this destruction down on the country remained. The usual monsters hardly seemed a threat anymore; those who had survived thus far had learned to cope with far worse. They could build new settlements, make new ways of life, come together or fall apart on their own merits.

And the most hopeful sign of all came the next day. The first actual day since Nightmare Moon returned and the Thousand Days of Woe began:

The Sun - weak and red in the dust-filled sky - slowly rose over the horizon.

The Princess of the Sun had not returned yet; perhaps she is still trapped by her sister’s spell. Perhaps another way of escape is being laid. But the light fills the ponies’ hearts with hope.

The Equestria they knew is gone. But the New Equestria has a future.

____

Sunday, Aug.10, 4 A.C.

Dear Journal,

It’s really strange dating things this way; but with everything that’s happened, most folks agree it’ll be easier to date our calendars starting with the fall of Princess Celestia. ‘After Celestia’ sounds so grim, though; kinda hope we change it. Maybe when the Princess returns... we’re praying she does.

Anyway, I still can’t believe we found a whole stock of blank paper in the storerooms! We’re saving most of it for bartering, but Mom thinks it’s smart for one of us to make notes for posterity, so it looks like I get to keep you. I’ll try to be short to save space, but it just feels so good to write again!

The move into the Canterlot ruins ruins is going pretty well. A few other families joined us after our last trip to Apple Fort, and we’ve shored up our defenses in case the air pirates make another flyby. Pop and I negotiated a deal with the Apples - food in exchange for books. A few of the unicorns know replication spells and are using some of the paper to make copies of really important texts so we don’t lose valuable knowledge to an accident. It still blows my mind how much we’ve lost in... was life really normal only a few years ago? It feels like another lifetime that I was in this very city, talking to the Princess, sitting at a normal cafe... eating lunch with Cam and Press...

I don’t want to forget them. Camera Shy and Pressing Matters, my best friends. Maybe they’re still out there somewhere. We run into old friends every now and then - my old traveling salespony gig has come in handy, actually! I’ve found a bunch of people who used to be clients, it really helps with forming trade and peace treaties with other groups. So it could happen. Please, Prince, keep them safe wherever they are.

I’m really blessed, though. I have to remember that. I have Mom and Pop and Black and Per and Chewie - although I’m still not used to Chewie flying and talking now. She’s such a character. Lots of ponies are missing family - so are we, we haven’t been able to find most of the extended family, but Pop got word from Aunt Pitter that she and my cousin Light Drizzle are out west somewhere, and Pitch Apple is down at Apple Fort, thank the King.

And we could be worse! We made friends with a tinkerer named Steam Punk, he made me a new wing that works as good as my old one! (Not a HUGE bar to cross, but it’s still really impressive!) I’m talking him into working with me to start a production house that can make and sell them affordably to other handicapped pegasi. And Mom got her flight back thanks to a gem Black and some other mages crafted. I think she still misses her diving mark, but she’s so brave and optimistic, it really inspires everyone. I wish we could do something for Pop’s horn, but he’s finding other ways to help out. Per is... well, I guess if you’re going to get turned into a pony-dragon, you’d want to be as cheerful about it as Per. Who knows, maybe she’ll still get a cutie mark someday! And Black is fully aware that he looks pretty boss with an eyepatch, the dork. 

There’s rumors that Princess Cadance might be alive and organizing the crystal ponies up North; lots of ponies are heading that way, but I think our group will stay here. There’s a lot of resources in the Canterlot ruins and in the castle, although Black leads the expeditions into the castle because of safety issues. I never knew he was so good at exploration and such; guess there were a few skills he was holding out on us over the years, but turns out he was working for the Princess before! What in Equus, I gave him such an earful for being all secretive about being my bodyguard or whatever. 

I’m running out of page, so I’ll wrap up today. We’re holding a worship service later, Pop and Parson Brown are setting it up. We want to keep focusing on what we have to be thankful for. We are GOING to get through this. The King, the Prince, and the Advocate have not abandoned us, and we have each other. 

~Salespitch

----

Fun Facts About The Wasteland Timeline:

- This was my favorite timeline to draw =D I HAD to get some steampunk stuff in there, although there are definitely Mad Max vibes. The convenient thing about this timeline is that it was a literal blank slate, so I could really get creative with it! I feel like this would make a neat bookmark, what do ya’ll think?

- I tried to reference all the major villains in the picture. Extra shoutout to ReversalMushroom, the patron who sponsored this Alternate Timeline Special, for giving me the ideas for the changeling goo and Tirek’s hoofprints, which were added in during the coloring phase. I think they round it out quite nicely!

- The random bit of Candy Forest over the crevice there is one of the pockets left behind by Discord’s chaos magic going wild. Most ponies avoid it because here’s WEIRD stuff in there, and ponies who go in there usually come out a little weirder themselves. 

- Black lost his eye and half his sunglasses in a fight with some Changelings. He gets on quite well with only one eye, though, and he insists his sunglass-lens eyepatch is going to be the height of eyepatch fashion. (He DOES have a sense of humor in case anyone doubted it. ;) ) Black taught everyone basic survival techniques and does most of the more dangerous tasks.

- Sales lost his wing during Tirek’s rampage; he tried to distract Tirek, but they didn’t have time to make the plan from the Tirek timeline, so he got swatted pretty quickly. On the upside, Tirek lost sight of him and didn’t get his magic. Sales can fly about as well now with his new steampunk wing, which combines technology and magic to mimic low-level pegasus flight (which was where he was at anyway, so he made a great first test subject!) Sales’ main job is  negotiating peaceful trades with other groups.

- Sales Patter (Dad) lost his horn while pushing his wife out of the way of some falling rubble. He insists he was only mediocre at magic anyway, and he doesn’t need a horn to do business! He does miss it, though. He helps their new community with allocating resources.

- Pitch Forward (Mom) lost her magic and cutie mark to Tirek’s onslaught. The gem in her coat simulates flight for her, although not quite at the level she was before. She and Sales joke about how he can almost beat her in a race now. She helps with the kids in their small community and teaches flying techniques to pegasi.

- Pitch Perfect got hit with a random blast of Discord magic that turned her half dragon. It took a little getting used to, but she honestly thinks it is super neat. She’s pretty good at sniffing out gems now, which (when she isn’t eating them) helps with family finances. Her friends Codebreak and Castle Crasher are part of their little community, and the three are constantly getting into trouble (which most everyone silently thinks of as a nice bit of familiarity.)

- Chewie ALSO got Discord’d; she has fairy wings now and she can talk. Chewie still likes Sales the best and hovers around him chattering like Navi half the time. The other half of the time she forgets she has wings and just hops around exploring. At this point she’s become less like a pet and more like another tiny sister, to Per’s delight and everyone else’s raised anxiety levels. She is VERY aware of her surroundings and alerts the group to intruders and strangers. She really misses computer games.

- Princess Celestia will eventually return, although by that time I feel that the various groups gathering together will have formed something like a decent society again. It remains to be seen if they’ll go back to a monarchy, create a government of connected micronations, or turn into something like the United States.

- And yes, Camera Shy, Pressing Matters, and Press’s husband Curler are all alive. They’ll meet up someday!

---

A/N: Thank you all for joining me on this journey through time and space to explore the seven MLP timelines and where Sales & Co might have ended up in them! I hope you enjoyed it; I had a good bit of fun coming up with the different scenarios, it was a great brain exercise. =D Thank you again to all my Patrons, and to ReversalMushroom for sponsoring this particular special! There will be a final post next week of all the pictures together, with links back to their storyline posts.

I also want to thank you for bearing with me as the regular updates continue to be on hiatus. This has been a rough and strange year for all of us, and I hope you all are safe and healthy and know that you are loved. Jesus has really been with me through this year, and even tonight as I write this; there are things I struggle with, but I know that they do not define my value, HE does. =) And I, like Sales, want to count my blessings, the biggest one (aside from my faith in God) being that I have family around me who love me and care for me. I’m very much looking forward to Christmas! =D  

Merry Christmas! May your Christmas and New Year contain joy and peace, and may Christ Jesus rest His hands on you and draw your heart to His. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

~River Babble

#mlp ask blog #pony ask blog #tirek #sombra #nightmare moon #Queen Chrysalis #mlp discord #IANAA #Salespitch

[robininthelabyrinth]

Three Gates - on ao3 (for content warnings check Ao3) - on tumblr: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4

- Chapter 5 -

Lao Nie did not, in the end, cast them out, but there was dissatisfaction in his eyes, a certain coldness in his dealings with Meng Shi in particular – he was never intentionally cruel, as Meng Yao might have feared, but his visits to her courtyard stopped, and their dealings returned to those early days when she had been a stranger he had agreed to host rather than a member of the family.

It wasn’t as noticeable with Meng Yao, shifting from being treated as a ward of the family to a sect disciple like all the others, but it was – still noticeable.

Meng Yao tried not to complain, especially after the first time he overheard Nie Mingjue arguing with his father in his study about it. The study was built with thick stone and lined with tapestries to boot, but two explosive Nie tempers raging against each other was not an easy thing to muffle, especially to someone as good as eavesdropping as Meng Yao. The gist of it was that Nie Mingjue didn’t care about the politics of it, about the loss of face, and the only thing his father said that had even a slight impact on him was that it meant that they didn’t trust them.

There had been a brief moment of silence, the words hitting their mark and leaving a wound, and then Nie Mingjue started arguing again.

It wasn’t true that Meng Yao didn’t trust him, but Meng Yao didn’t know how to make that clear. If he told Nie Mingjue that he trusted him, Nie Mingjue would believe him, because they were brothers and good brothers believed each other, but it would be something he would do purposefully, intentionally, something he would make himself belief when what Meng Yao wanted was for him to know the truth of it deep down in his heart, in his core, in those steely principles of his that did not know how to bend.

So he didn’t tell him, and turned his attention to sect matters instead, determined to make himself useful.

(He could have gone to Nie Mingjue with his grievances, whispered them in his ear again and again until Nie Mingjue was willing to do anything for him – but love like that was a gamble that could be lost in a single throw of the dice, the way his mother had, and he didn’t want that. So he had to be useful, instead.)

Meng Yao threw himself into learning how the Unclean Realm operated, knowing that sect leaders were often too busy to handle the minutiae themselves; he studied the kitchens, the forges, the stables, and more with the same enthusiasm as his actual classes.

He tried to make himself useful, tried to make himself irreplaceable – and he was.

Being useful helped reduce the sting of the letters that appeared on his bedside table as if by magic, the letters that reminded him of his long-term plan to work his way into Wen Ruohan’s confidence by pretending that he could be coaxed into being his spy – the only thing that made it remotely tolerable was that Discussion Conferences happened only once a year, and Wen Ruohan was never invited to Qinghe beyond that.

The same could not be said of their other allies.

The small sects were easily disposed of, but not the Great Sects; of them, only the Lan sect came in force to pay a visit to the Unclean Realm – and so Meng Yao was properly introduced to Lan Xichen for the first time.

Lan Xichen was everything Meng Yao ever imagined a cultivator to be: kind and gentle, graceful and polite, a proper well-born gentleman that would never let a harsh word pass through his lips, while also being talented in every art, powerful in his cultivation, and handsome to the point of beauty – basically perfect, without any of Nie Mingjue’s flaws: his temper, rigidity, obvious naivete, and carelessness.

Naturally, Meng Yao couldn’t stand him.

Maybe it would have been different if he’d met him a few years earlier, or even a few years later. Maybe he would have felt seen, seen and appreciated, because Lan Xichen truly did seem to appreciate him, his talents, his intelligence, everything. Maybe Lan Xichen would have become the white moonlight in his heart, forever out of reach, or maybe Meng Yao would have let his worst tendencies overtake him until he sought to conquer him, to lie to him until he stood by his side even to the point of forsaking his own principles, to keep him all for himself and no one else, because Lan Xichen’s one flaw was that he was too much a gentleman, that he gave out trust as if it were nothing and always thought the best of people, that he sympathized with whoever seemed to spill their heart to him first –

Meng Yao could have had him wrapped around his little finger in no time.

You say you’re his friend, Meng Yao thought, glaring, but you were at that awful Discussion Conference last year, too, and where were you when he needed you? Asleep, that’s where!

Possibly he was a little jealous.

Jealous of the way Nie Mingjue seemed flattered by Lan Xichen’s attention, almost riveted by it, as if Lan Xichen were better than he was and his views more important; jealous of the way Nie Huaisang’s eyes were always trained on the “pretty gege” that came to visit them every morning; jealous of how Lan Xichen seemed to have everything Meng Yao had ever wanted in the world served up to him on a platter.

No, he couldn’t stand him, perfect creature that he was. Meng Yao would make nice with him and wait for him to leave, and that would be that.

Naturally, about a week after he made that decision, Lan Xichen found Meng Yao alone in the garden one afternoon and confessed his affections.

“I…what?” Meng Yao gaped at him. “You like me?”

Lan Xichen’s cheeks were beautiful when they flushed red. “I admire you.”

He’d said more than that – he’d said that Meng Yao was brilliant and graceful, thoughtful and level-headed, talented and hard-working, a tragic figure that had overcome his circumstances through his own efforts – but Meng Yao was still having trouble believing he’d managed to pull the wool over this beautiful boy’s eyes without even trying.

(Meng Yao was all of those things, yes, except that he was also a spiteful son of a bitch and after enough years with the Nie sect, which valued straightforwardness and honesty, he was self-aware enough to know it.)

If he still listened to his mother’s advice above his own instincts, perhaps Meng Yao would have smiled shyly, averted his eyes and accepted the compliment, perhaps offered to hold his hand while he was there – per Nie sect rules, they weren’t old enough for more than butterfly kisses, so even if he was repulsed, which he secretly wasn’t at all, he could have managed it – and maybe suggested keeping up a correspondence, planning for the future. It was never a bad idea to have another patron in your back pocket, after all.

Perhaps it was the corruption of the sect’s principles, some of Nie Mingjue’s righteousness rubbing off on him, or just the fact that Meng Yao and his mother were having a bit of a cold period between them as she tried to get back into Lao Nie’s good graces (or worse, Jin Guangshan’s, even after everything) in what Meng Yao thought were all the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons, but he decided not to do that.

He decided to be a little more honest, instead.

“Your view of me is idealized,” he said, more delicately than Nie Mingjue’s bluntness would have been. “There’s nothing ennobling about hardship, and being piteous can eventually become as tiring as being pitied. You would be better off waiting to learn more about me to see if you actually like me, or else you might as well just paint a picture and live with your dreams of me instead.”

Lan Xichen’s eyes filled with tears, even though Meng Yao had been trying to be nice, and he made some excuses before running away. When Nie Mingjue found him later, Meng Yao told him about it, and Nie Mingjue hummed thoughtfully.

“His mother is very sickly,” he said. “I heard that she can’t leave her house; per Lan sect rules, as boys, Xichen and his brother are only able to visit her once a month – otherwise, they only have pictures.”

Meng Yao put his head in his hands. “So you’re saying I accidentally poked at his most vulnerable point. While trying to be nice.”

He needed to get his hands on better information than he had. Maybe his mother had the right idea after all about figuring out what people wanted…

“I think it’s a good thing,” Nie Mingjue said. “The Lan sect only allow themselves to love once, which is a stupid rule, but imagine if he committed to someone and then realized he’d made a mistake?” He paused. “Not that you’d be a mistake, of course.”

“Of course not, I’m perfect and everything about me is more important than other people,” Meng Yao said, only somewhat joking.

Nie Mingjue cuffed him upside the head, but nodded agreeably – still a fool, after all these years.

“Still, I suppose that’s one useful connection I’ve ruined,” Meng Yao added with a sigh. “He won’t want to see me again.”

Nie Mingjue snorted. “You’re joking, right? The only thing you’ve done is add ‘insightful’ to the list of qualities he likes about you. He’ll still want to write to you, I promise – only maybe he won’t be quite so quick to pity you.”

For once, Nie Mingjue’s guess about people turned out to be the right one, and Lan Xichen turned out to be a lot more tolerable when you could tease him out of his Lan-sect otherworldliness.

Meng Yao supposed he could stand him after all.

(He was so very pretty. Even in the brothels, with all the paint and tricks in the world, Meng Yao had never met anyone who looked better than he did.)

It helped that Lan Xichen had the good taste to appreciate all the good aspects of Nie Huaisang, who at four was starting to turn into an actual person – a lazy spoiled brat of a person, sure, but Meng Yao couldn’t really blame him for it, not when Nie Mingjue was the sort of person to yell ‘no’ at an outrageous request and then give in immediately thereafter because the person he’d yelled at looked sad.

The doctors confirmed that Nie Huaisang would be weak all his life, his body underdeveloped in the womb, but the only thing that meant was that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue had to work even harder to make sure the third young master of Qinghe would have a good life, untroubled and carefree.

And they could do it, too: Nie Mingjue had a general’s mind and the strength to back it up, with a frankly outrageous talent for cultivating that Meng Yao had incorrectly assumed was the result of starting early but eventually realized from the expressions of their teachers was in fact idiosyncratic, and Meng Yao had the cunning and paranoia he inherited from his mother. His own cultivation was progressing very nicely, his outstanding memory helping him pick up techniques as soon as he saw them and helping him figure out how to best utilize his speed and flexibility – aspects that would have made him a good swordsman, though Meng Yao found that all those years of seemingly pointless training had strengthened his arms and shoulders enough that his only slightly subpar saber skills tended to catch others by surprise.

He thought he wasn’t far away from receiving his own saber, his Chiwen, right within the usual age range for it, and when that happened he would at last be safe, only one final confirmatory mission away from being a full-fledged Nie sect disciple who knelt before his sect leader to swear loyalty. The conditions for expelling a disciple from the sect were very strict, codified in sect law – barring any premeditated murder, rape, or arson or suchlike, once in, it would be very hard to force him to leave except if he wanted to.

He could stay forever.

He would stay forever.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #lan xichen #xiyao #nieyao #my fic #my fics #three gates

[winx-reimagined]

Ships & Relationships in Winx Club| Romantic

ToC

Okay, it's obvious that a lot of the relationships in Winx Club suck. In this specfic post, I'm mainly going over romantic relationships but I'll make another for friendships & family and I'll either squeeze enemies and more gray relationships on that post or they'll have their own post.

The two biggest issue couples, Musa & Riven and Bloom & Sky. At least with Musa and Riven they both tried to better themselves. They were both toxic too, it wasn't only Riven -although it was mostly him.

Riven & Musa.

Riven's selfish, beyond rude, and of course there was that time he bretrayed them. Musa doesn't even try to understand him and she only want to argue back, she just fuels the flame. From what I've seen, neither of them have any mutual hobbies or interests, they can't communicate like friends meaning they sure as hell can't communicate as lovers. As bad as this is, if Winx was more realistic and much more mature, I feel like their relationship would be purely sexual. Which is fine in general, but not so great in a supposedly committted relationship. Just sucks that they're trying to play off a toxic and abusive relationship as "fixing the bad boy."

Speaking about committment... Bloom & Sky.

I hate this couple the most. To be fair, most of us do. At least with Riven and Musa they somewhat learned from their mistakes and were held accountable. But Sky, barely was. I can't remember a time Bloom did anything serious (although I'm pretty sure in one of the dubs for season 4, it was made obvious that she wanted to cheat on Sky), the worst she does is just get really angry -usually for no reason- and refuses to listen. But Sky literally led on two girls.

Despite how close Bloom and him were getting, he never tried to tell her the truth. I don't care if he lies about being a prince because he doesn't want the attention -which is actually pretty stupid because Eraklyon is one of the biggest kingdoms it's strange that no one recognized him like, hmm I don't know, Stella- but that isn't a good enough reason to lie to your bestfriend and girlfriend.

Now him being in an unwanted arrange marriage and cheating, sure. It's like a forbidden love trope and in my books doesn't count as cheating. And I could maybe understand him not saying anything to her since it'd most likely get her in trouble. But I still question why he has that framed picture of Diaspro on his desk 🤔, it's almost as if they're close. Hmm. Sure she could've given it to him but there's no reason he couldn't just throw it out or lay it flat.

Before I move on, I need to talk about their relationship as a whole. They're so similar. Of course, you need similarities to make any relationship work but they're like really similar. They're both peacekeepers -which is ironic to say the least-, they're both agreeable -again, ironic- and this just kind of makes their relationship really boring. Boring doesn't mean there's no drama, there's just no interest. You don't watch the relationship grow like with Stella & Brandon or Aisha & Nabu. They never have any actual conflict nor any actual arc, I can't even call it a linear relationship. How do they relate on anything? Their lives are so different, the most the could talk about is what literally happened three episodes ago. Even if they didn't have these petty issues, it's still be a bad relationship.

More about boring couples... Flora & Helia and Timmy & Tecna

I have more to say about Timmy and Tecna for a different manner but like these two couples are so boring. That's probably because they're mainly in the background. But I do think Flora and Helia are kinda cute, but their kept in the background so much, I literally don't know enough about their relationship to make an actual conclusion about them.

But Timmy & Tecna... 👀, they're okay. My most vibrant memories of their relationship is Tecna constantly calling Timmy weak, pathetic, or a coward. I don't give a fuck how angry you are at someone, that is NOT a reason to constantly abuse them like this. And it is abusive, it doesn't help that Timmy sees Tecna as amazing. He lowkey praises her.

I do like the idea of them being very "emotionless" or not being able to recipicate said emotions very well then learning to open up. This is mostly for Tecna, but there are times Timmy falls under this like when Tecna was stuck in the Phantom zo- I mean Omega dimension. He abandoned any sense of reasoning and only went off his emotions, believeing she was still alive -to be fair, he was right. I actually have very big plans for this dynamic, that mostly has to do with Tecna. I'll be making a post about Tecna's Issue soon 😉, but to say the least, he unlocks more than just her emotions. (I swear if that post comes out before this.. A/N it did)

Aisha & Nabu

Out of all of them, these two are the best relationship. Although it is EXTREMELY weird how they set them up, with Nabu stalking Aisha. The way their relationship grew was beautiful and they were about to get married but then Nabu died. Which I would've enjoyed the tragedy of it, if 1. it meant something afterwards and 2. if it wasn't the only man of color this happened to (not to mention the only black woman is the one to ignore all sense of reason and go apeshit).

Nabu is most likely going to stay alive in my version.

I almost forgot about this one... Brandon & Stella

They're cute. They're one of the best couples in the series. Really the only issue I had with them was their petty arguements which, like any Winx romantic drama, had to do with "cheating." It's stupid that they'd accuse each other of cheating if they're literally comfortable with dozens of people flirting and complienting their partner. They even compete over it. It goes to show how much they trust each other yet they still get in a tizzy when their SO stood near the opposite gender.

I've just noticed something about all the relationships. They characters are matched up with someone who is almost basically the genderbent version of themselves. Bloom & Sky; peaceloving leaders, Stella & Brandon; vain, comical characters; Musa & Riven; damaged goods, punks, and so on. It's not the worst thing you could do, but when it's for all of your characters, yes.

Just to address it, I don't have anything to say about Icy's relationship with Tritannus.

I just realized the best way to describe the Winx relationships, and it's just teenage couples. Their relationships never seem to mature except for Aisha & Nabu's relationship.

Now for the SHIPS! There's many I won't include, just because I don't want this post to be very long and I don't know too much about too many, but maybe I'll come back to them or I can just answer asks.

Were gonna start with the ones I hate :) which isn't many

p.s if you ship any of these more power to you, I just don't like these ships in particular, I'm not attacking you as people.

Bloom X Valtor...

I cannot even begin to dig into this one... alright then, let's begin. To get the moral/ethical issues out of the way. Valtor is much older than Bloom. Sure she's 18 by season 3, she's an adult in most places but it's still really gross. Besides what does a thousand year old (wait, how old is he?) have in common with an 18-year-old teenager? He helped kill, if not killed her parents. Look, forgiveness is a beautiful thing... but that's too much. It's fucking unforgivable. His very existence is to destroy the dragon flame. His like, literal reason of existence is to destroy her magic, her family, her world, HER. Ignoring the whole age thing real quick, they just wouldn't work. There's no chemistry between them that won't lead to an explosion.

Now about the intrigue in the dynamic; you know hero x villain, I get it, but the conflict in their relationship isn't romantic.

I also cannot believe one of the official winx club channels made a video for this ship. It's just...

Bloom X Darkar...

I'm pretty sure this is somewhat unpopular but it still exists, which is just like... I have no words. To be fair, I do like them, but as a platonic ship, I'll explain in the continuation of this post. Darkar is a fucking entity he's even older than Valtor. His goal, I feel, is a little less defined other than "he's doing evil things because he's evil", he's a god of darkness not fucking evil.

- I need to rant real quick, I have such an intense love-hate relationship with darkness being evil and light being good. I love it because it's easy to make out and the whole forces of good and evil really gets me going, but like I hate it cause it's always light is good and dark is bad. To be fair, I do appreciate it when it's mudded in which some light creatures turn/are evil and dark creatures turn/are good. Like if there's a lot of gray, I'm happy. Not everything is in black and white.

Anyways, they also only interacted for a short period of time and that wasn't enough for any sort of real relationship (of any sort) to bloom. Although, Darkar is like one of the nicest characters to Bloom which is strange. I get he was just using her but I'll explain later why it doesn't make sense.

These are the two romantic ships that I hate. It's mostly because of age, like if Bloom were older and Valtor was younger I could see them being an interesting enemy to lover ship, but it'd still be a stretch to me. But Bloom and Darkar I can't see romantically, but that's probably because I see them differently.

For the ones I could somewhat see or somewhat like, bruh by this point I'll have to come back and make a continuation post just called THE POTENTIAL...

SunFire, Bloom X Stella...

They're bestfriends which is already a good start, although in the series I don't think they actually act that close, it tends to be more of a rare sight. They're always supportive of eachother (that is until all attention went to Bloom) and Stella was the one to help Bloom's "gain" powers and showed her the magic dimension. Stella immense confidence would be a nice boast for Bloom, since I personally see Bloom as not being very confident in herself and having low self-esteem. They're very cute too.

Tecna X Riven...

Honestly, I think they'd work. They both have common interests for machinery (and presumably sports), they both have emotional issues that would be interesting to see them work out together. I also think they're relationship would be more interesting than their canons ones.

There's always the issue of... y'know, Riven being a piece of shit. But Tecna strikes me as a "takes no shit" type and I feel like that would be their dynamic. I also feel like Riven would like that sort of confidence.

Riven X Darcy...

I also think they'd work. I know in some dubs Darcy used her powers to control Riven, which really just feels like an excuse for his actons. But in the Rai dub, the one I grew up on (is it the original English Dub?), Darcy just had a way with words and was easily able to calm Riven down.

They seem to be able to relate to eachother, and I would like to think that, despite the finale, she still cares about him. (Also I could see them as being a trans couple, I can see both of them being trans so there's something for them to relate to)

Soundwave, Aisha X Musa...

I love this ship. They have a lot of relatability, a lot in common, and have a lot of screentime together. Musa is the one that made Aisha feel accepted in the Winx Club and they found solidarity in each other. In comparison to everyone else, they just seem so much closer and honestly I don't remember a time they fought. Except for maybe the time Nabu died, but Aisha was fighting with everyone.

Speaking of which, I would write them together if I didn't find Aisha and Nabu so cute. Of course, if he dies, yeah, she can move on and be with Musa but I don't know if I'm going to kill him. So this is honestly a huge maybe for my rewrite.

Icy X Bloom...

Honestly, they're most likely going to be canon in my rewrite.

Their similar backstories are incredibly interesting especially since they basically took two different paths. Same cause, different outcomes. Which makes their relationship and dynamic pretty thrilling since to be together they have to be on the same side, so will they be good or evil together. It's almost like a game of tug of war, if you will.

It's hard to find any common interests between them in the series and I haven't read the comics, so I'll talk more about headcanon stuff. Neither of them get what they want in life, they always seem to be unlucky. Both of them are very lonely, usually it's their own fault; and (after the first encounter with Lord Darkar, where Bloom turns evil) Icy tends to find peace in Bloom when they're not fighting. I'd imagine them both to be very artistic, Bloom loves to draw (which is something they dropped in like the first episode) and I could imagine Icy liking sculpting.

Plus, it's the rivals to lover trope, that'd could actually be a healty rivals to lover trope. Which I love, literally one of my favorite dynamics.

Diaspro X Bloom...

Damn, a lot of these have to do with Bloom.

If Diaspro were to see how bad Sky was she'd probably want to be around the one that originally called him out, Bloom. Diaspro can actually be really fucking sweet, but only to people she likes which in this case, is Bloom. Although, she'd probably be very clingy. We don't get any information about Diaspro's interests or her actual personality because she's eViL. So it's difficult to see how they'd work out.

But it'd be cute to see Diaspro teach Bloom how to be a princess and to act like a "proper lady."And to see Bloom teach Diaspro to be more free-spirited and less uptight (I'm thinking about the second Mulan movie now). I'm really tempted to have them be somewhat hinted at in the story; like Diaspro likes Bloom but Bloom doesn't like Diaspro. We'll see...

Brandon X Sky...

Similar to Bloom and Stella, they're best friends which is a good start. They seem to have known eachother for a long time. Really if anything, they're just the male version of Bloom X Stella, but like a little calmer.

Diaspro x Icy...

I've seen this ship here and there, but to be honesst I really know what I think about it. From what I remember, they don't ever interact. And I guess they can just be a villaness power couple. Or hard and soft relationship, where like Icy's a hardass and Diaspro's her surprisingly sweet significant other. Well, sweet only to her.

Stormy X Musa...

They're both punks. They'd either always butt heads or they'd always vibing together. I think they'd be kinda cute tho, just two gals being wild.

Stormy X Flora...

A hardass and a softass, since Flora's gonna be like 5'10-6'0ft in my redesign and Stormy is absolutely shorter than her; they'd be the small, angry and big, soft dynamic. And I think that's kinda cute. Plus, they're both forces of nature. I could see Stormy allowing Flora to be more chaotic and open up about her more negative emotions, especially if these emotions have to do with the rest of the Winx. And Flora could allow Stormy to chill out and be calmer, I could see Stormy picking up a gardening habit because of Flora.

This is kind out of left field, Professor Palladium X Professor Avalon

I half-jokingly, and half-actually shipped them when I rewatched season 2, then I was surprised to find that people actually ship them. And that it was kinda popular. There's really not much to go off of, but they're really cute and I just really want them to be together. Palladium seems very anxious and is really sweet and Avalon seems like he has a lot of self-esteem, I don't know where I'm going with this so make due with these observations as you please.

There's like a million more ships and maybe I'll talk more about them if some catch my eye, but I'm stopping for now. I still have to work on platonic and enmity ships.

Honestly, writing about my thoughts on these ships and canon relationships kind of opened my eyes to possible pairings. Once I'm done with all of these, I'll definitely have a lot to think about when writing these character's relationships. Oh, and sorry about the long ass post. If it's an issue, I'll just separate it into parts.

#winx #winx club #fandom #ships #romance #romantic #relationship #relationships #romantic relationship #ship #stella winx #winx club stella #bloom #winx bloom #winx club bloom #winx club lord darkar #winx club darkar #valtor #valtor winx #winx club valtor #winx ships #winx club ships #shipping #ships & relationships in winx club #canon ships #my rewrite ships #sexuality #icy x bloom #darcy x riven #musa x aisha

[mhafiction]

Req from @annonymousbread:

Here is an actual request if you’re okay with it ☺️

Maybe a story where katsu’s crush from class 1-A gets kidnapped and they don’t find her for over a year. Which by then class 1-A has graduated and all become pro hero’s.

Then Katsuki finally finds her on one of his missions?

Note: This is really becoming a Bakugo fanfic blog huh? I’m not complaining, he’s a very fun boy. -K.

“Bakugo!”

He remembered it. Your sobbing, the fear in your voice, your cries of pain. He saw the rubble, the overcast sky, every little thing rendered with terrifying accuracy. He looked down at his hands. Why was he back here? An uneasy feeling reveled in the pit of his stomach. You cry out again, your shouts solitary and panicked. Lighting courses through his veins, and without an ounce of hesitation, he takes off running. He had to find you.

His lungs burn as he navigates the field, his heart pounding in his head, eyes darting back and forth with frenzied panic as he scans the ruins. Y/N, where are you? The rubble morphs into a terrifying maze, and he feels a cold sweat drip down his back. Bakugo hears you call out his name again and again, and fears the worst, turning around-

There you were, standing in front of him with that faraway look in your eyes. Your eyes... those goddamn eyes haunted him ever since. He reached out to you, tried to call you name-

But you slipped right through his fingers. His throat was tight; nothing came out. And you just stared at him, unblinking, lips ever so slightly parted.

“Why Katsuki? Why couldn’t you have saved me?”

Your voice is accusatory, bitter, and so unlike everything that he knew about you... yet it felt so real.

Bakugo feels a dryness in his mouth as he shouts to you, his voice cracking. It was if a dam burst, and he sobs, sinking to his knees. “I tried!” He curses, watching you turn your back to him, and as he reaches out his hand to catch your wrist, he jolts awake.

Katsuki pants, heaving up and down. Sweat rolls down his forehead. It had felt way too real. He sighs, checking the clock. 4 am. Great. Should he even be surprised? He rises, pulling open his curtains and preparing for the day ahead, your face still fresh in his mind

Bakugo hadn’t gotten a good night’s rest since your disappearance, almost two years ago. Hell, he wondered how anyone from 1-A did. They had been there, too- that fateful day of the school festival, everyone riled up to celebrate the fact that it was their last one before graduation. And of course, something had to go wrong.

Your quirk was invaluable and insanely powerful: controlling probability. If you stockpiled enough energy, you could exert it to tip the scales to someone’s advantage, which could range from boosting the probability of rolling a six on a die...or boosting the probability of someone winning a fight. It worked better when more specific and focused, however.

You had gained a lot of attention from having such an interesting quirk, but some of it turned out to be pretty...bad. Including a plucky group of villains who had been able to capture you during the school festival. The brawl had moved to the city, after Bakugo sent one of the dudes careening into the side of a building with a skillful explosion. Pros urged him to evacuate, but he didn’t listen. He couldn’t have, not when you had been among the ones to save him when he had been kidnapped.

But you weren’t as lucky.

They got away with you. Bakugo remembered the look on your face as you were whisked away into thin air. Gone without a trace, slipped through his fingers.

The search was an ordeal that was significantly harder than his own. The group that had kidnapped you was pretty underground. This, in fact, was their first major crime.

So that left police with no leads, no identification, and no evidence whatsoever. The case went cold. Not a day went by when Bakugo didn’t think of you. His graduation had been somber, Class 1-A collectively on edge together for the rest of the year. Y/N, the promising rising star, so obviously on track to becoming a powerful hero— snuffed out just like that. There was rage, there were tears, there was silence. But now, they had to move on. They were adults, pro-heroes who needed to focus on bigger things. He growled. Yeah, right.

It was no secret among his peers that he liked you. After that incident, many pitied him and the way he kept his head down and his jaw clenched. They didn’t speak up when he lost his temper, they didn’t point out that he was easier to piss off than usual, and they didn’t try to stop him when he’d curse a disproportionate amount at some inanimate object that had wasn’t working right. They knew his pain. Despite him never opening up to anyone, they knew. Bakugo immersed himself in his ambition; training and fighting being the only “healthy” outlet he had. By the time he left UA, he was already in the top ten and slowly forming an agency. He kept an old bulletin board dedicated to your case, spending months trying to track you. Everyone considered him crazy for refusing to let go. But that never stopped him.

His phone rings, and he groans, seeing the contact. Nevertheless, he answers, forcefully brushing the phone against his ear.

“Deku?!”

“Ah! Kacchan, I need to ask for your help on a case.”

Bakugo rubs his temples, annoyed just at the sound of his childhood friend’s voice.

“Heh? Like I would help you, nerd!”

Deku’s voice takes on a graver tone, somewhat faltering. “I think you’d want to after you hear this guy’s MO.”

“Yeah right.”

“No, listen. You remember-“ Deku pauses a moment, hesitating as he chokes back his words. His voice is strained over the phone, betraying some sort of feeling that leaves Bakugo on edge. “You remember Y/N?” Deku continues.

Bakugo bites his lip, brow furrowed with anguish. Internally, he thanks whatever higher power there is that his old friend can’t see his face.

“How could I forget?” He mumbles.

“Well,” Deku breathes, his tone still solemn. “This guy- eyewitness reports say he vanishes into thin air. Literally. He’s been spotted all over the prefecture, mostly dealing in theft, but the most recent case they’ve linked him to is the kidnapping of a Shiketsu boy. Promising kid. The cases also match up with your research, too. I know it’s a stretch-“

Bakugo looks at the old bulletin board placed above his bed, bitter recollection filling his head. “I’m in.”

“Eh? You are?”

“Yes, you shitty nerd! Just brief me on the course of attack. Bastard won’t know what hit him.” He prays that Deku won’t catch on to the trembling intensity of his words. He didn’t need anyone else’s pity, much less Deku’s. What he needed was to find you.

“...You know it might not be him, right? And even if it is, there’s no guarantee...?”

Bakugo tenses, and the line is silent for a moment. His palms are suddenly heavy, weary with exhaustion. He sighs, frustration in a single breath.

“Goddamn it, I know that. But I have to try, Deku.” His voice cracks, shaky but firm. “I owe it to her.”

Deku is quiet. The air is thick—almost suffocating. And finally, he responds.

“Then, drop by my agency this evening. There’s a lot to cover.”

———————————————————————

“Peh. So this is the place.”

Bakugo looks up at the building. It was modest, but classy. Respectable,especially with its prime location. Not that he’d let Deku know.

He’s escorted into a conference room, eyeing the place up and down. His face contorts into dramatic anger when he locks eyes with none other than Todoroki Shouto.

“WHAT’S ICY-HOT DOING HERE?!”

Bakugo grabs Midoriya by the collar, his eye twitching and his fist poised. Deku starts sputtering like a dying fish, waving his hands around.

“Kacchan- he was interested in the mission, too! And it’s not like we can’t use his help-“

“YES WE CAN! WE DON’T NEED HIM!”

“But he might be useful! He’s a top ranking hero too, you know-“

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE’LL BE USEFUL!”

Bakugo reels back his arm, ready to blast Deku’s ass into the stratosphere. Todoroki appears behind him, cool as ever.

“Bakugo,” Shouto begins, gently setting a hand on his shoulder. “She was my friend, too.”

Bakugo pauses, his violent persona sufficiently diffused. He loosens his grip on Midoriya, casting Todoroki a wayward glare. Shouto returns it with his own determined eyes. “Tch. Whatever. Let’s get on with this.”

They settle into seats, Midoriya wheeling in a large whiteboard with meticulous notes dotted all over it.

“First and foremost, I guess I should start with the fact that we’ll also be joined by Uravity, Red Riot, and Froppy,” Midoriya begins, adjusting a projector.

“Do we really need that many people?”

“In all likelihood, no. But there’s a tip that this guy is linked to some bigger crime ring.” A map charting several misdemeanors flicks onto the board. “So, with backup, we’re better safe than sorry.”

Bakugo slumps in his chair. “What is this, a high school reunion?” He jeers.

Midoriya gives him a wry smile. “I guess you can look at it like that. Thanks to your intel, Kacchan, we were able to track down his ID. I went through some records down at the station, and the guy we’re going after apparently has some sort of molecular rearrangement quirk.”

Todoroki cocks his head. “Sort of like that Yakuza guy? Back with Eri?”

“Sort of. But the point is, it allows him to disappear covertly. Really covertly. He just needs to break down his body and his target to their smallest forms and he can manipulate and transport them without a trace. Disappearing into thin air.”

“That sounds awfully familiar,” Todoroki notes, giving Bakugo a quick glance. Bakugo snorts in response, recalling your disappearance. Thin air, huh?

Midoriya nods. “I have a hunch that...it’s the same guy. But, since there’s no guarantee, let’s not get our hopes up. Let’s just focus on prioritizing the rescue.” He turns his board over, revealing an even more intricate chart on the back. “Let’s go over a plan.”

———————————————————————

The fateful day arrived. Police encircled the building- some dingy joint on the bad side of town that looked like any other dive bar. Bakugo would lead the calvary alongside Kirishima and Todoroki, while Asui and Deku rounded off any potential exits. Uraraka watched from above, surveying the entire scene with bated breath.

Bakugo kicks down the door, poised to attack, and meets the faces of at least twenty other folks. One shouts above the ramble and suddenly all hell breaks loose. People are throwing bottles, attacking at Bakugo and each other- and he catches a glimpse of someone fleeing down a flight of stairs behind the bar.

He pursues, carving through the dense crowd with ease. He flies down the stairwell, greeting darkness almost immediately. Bakugo’s explosions flicker in his hands, casting orange shadows over his face in the dim hall. It’s narrow, and there’s only one way to go. There’s only one thing to do. He takes off running, panting heavily, gritting his teeth. This bastard- the nerve he had. To steal the futures of some promising kids.

The hall opens to a cavernous room, and Bakugo edges along the wall, silently inching forward. He catches a glimpse of a long shadow limping back and forth, pacing with nervous energy. Bakugo grins to himself, prepared to strike, and as the silhouette passes the opening of the hallway, he tackles them, restraints in hand. “DIE!” He sends an explosion to their backside. The villain lets out a sturdy cry of pain and immediately yields. Not that it mattered, the restraints wouldn’t permit the use of his quirk whatsoever.

Bakugo looks the guy up and down, hate filling his chest. He growls, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, you know that?”

The man is silent, not even meeting Bakugo’s fiery eyes. Bakugo forces his head towards him, watching fear dance in his gaze. He sneers. “You’re just a coward,” he spits.

Kirishima’s footsteps patter through the hall, and the red-haired boy bursts into the room, stumbling upon the scene.

“Bakugo! That’s the guy!” Bakugo tosses the criminal to him, surveying the area. “Take care of it,” he mumbles in his raspy tone. “I’m looking for the victim.”

He approaches a nearby door- old and decrepit, like everything else in the place. With calculated force, he blasts it down, dread forming in the pit of his stomach. The room is dirty and neglected, like some kind of dungeon.

His eyes widen when he sees your face, hollow cheeks and empty eyes chained against the wall alongside a sobbing boy. Shock fills your sunken form, and you utter out his name, a wistful, raspy murmur.

“Katsuki...?”

Bakugo freezes, once again feeling a terrible weight in his chest. He wants to scream, he wants to go to you- but he’s rooted to the spot, disgusted at your treatment...and at himself. Police flood the little room, Midoriya shouting commands and comforting the boy, and everything’s in a haze. But throughout it all, he never tears his eyes from you, despite the clenching he feels in his heart.

You wake up in an unfamiliar hospital bed. The world seems different. Fresh, and new. A small smile forms on your face, and you giggle quietly to yourself, blinking in the gentle light. You examine the room. A clean, white place with a monitor beeping softly in the background. The hum of machines drone on, and to your right-

You gasp, surprised to see the sleeping face of none other than Bakugo Katsuki, slumped down in a chair. Your childhood crush, handsome as ever. Halos bounced off of the spikes of his hair where the light hit him, leaving him looking like some otherworldly beauty. You laugh to yourself, starting as a small chuckle at this moment- then dissolving into a deep, boisterous and emotional expression of mirth, one that caused tears to form at the corner of your eyes and made you choke over your own joy. It inadvertently woke your spiky-haired hero, who looked down at you, eyes wide and tired.

“Y/N.”

You lift your hand up to him, cupping his face. “Katsuki.”

His jaw clenches, and his eyes go glassy. As he speaks, you feel a sadness, deep and broken, in his heart, and his voice cracks.

“I’m sorry...I’m sorry I couldn’t be faster. That I couldn’t save you-“ he chokes.

“I never lost hope in you.” Bakugo looks into your eyes, and your heart skips a beat with how vulnerable he looks. “I stockpiled energy with the hope that you’d rescue me,” you whisper, brushing away a tear from his face. “I trusted you’d be the one. Out of all of them at UA-“ you smile softly, recalling your high school years. “You were the one I thought of the most. And thinking of you...it gave me hope.” How far away it all seemed. Those days with your friends, training on the field, hoping to be a hero.

“I thought of you, too.” Bakugo grips your hand, as if afraid you’ll disappear again. You pull him into a hug, stroking his trembling form. It felt so good to be in his arms, almost dream like. “Katsuki, I have something to tell you, though,” you murmur. “I had quite the crush on you, back at UA,” you chuckle. He pulls back, still holding you. He brings a calloused hand to your face, drinking in your features. “I did, too,” he admits. You feel butterflies flutter in your stomach, and suddenly it’s as if you’re sixteen again.

“Do you think it’s still there?” You breathe.

He never takes his eyes from yours, and slowly moves in to press his forehead to yours.

“If you do.” You close the distance, placing a kiss on his lips. You drown in his familiar scent, sighing with contentment. Now, this felt like home. Bakugo moves back cautiously, his gentle demeanor and tone never shifting. He brushes a hair away from your face, ever so softly.

“God, you think we can make it work?” He mutters. “You deserve someone who could have saved you on the first try.”

Your brow creases watching Katsuki avert his gaze. You force him to turn his head to you, looking at you straight on. “We have the rest of our lives, Katsuki,” you tell him. “And don’t you dare think that you’ve failed me. You’re the one who tried the hardest. You’re the one who saved me.” Bakugo shrugs.

“I didn’t do it alone.”

You shake your head, beaming. “That’s not what I mean. Holding on to the idea that you’d come— that’s what saved me. I would have died, ages ago if I didn’t carry that hope with me. If I didn’t have that goal to save up my energy to help you find me.”

Bakugo softens beneath your touch, melting as you give him a couple of pecks. He grips your tiny hand in his, swearing that he’ll never let you go ever again.

#bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #mha #bnha #mha x reader #mha x y/n #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo imagine #bakugo fluff #bnha bakugo katsuki #bakugo katuski x reader

[redxblueihateloveyou]

I'm curious what you think the worst shipping dynamic is? And the reasoning behind it if you have any.

Thank you so much!!!

haha I do have several of those actually. I’ll include both what I think are the worst dynamics and the kind of ships that “I just don’t get why would you ship smth like that”.

1. What I actually call “a mom and a manchild”.

examples: Hatori/Chiaki from “Sekaichi Hatsukoi”, Ikuya/Hiyori.

I guess, technically there’s nothing wrong with this, if they both enjoy being this way, but firstly I just hate adults behaving like infants and I don’t think encouraging such behavior can lead to anything good, and secondly watching this just makes me uncomfortable for many reasons. And moments like when Hyori came up to Ikuya when he talked to Haru and was like “it’s too late and you can’t talk to this man, time to go home” and Ikuya went I just cracked up at this. Also when one part is basically changes the other’s part diapers, but in return gets tantrums or basically nothing or “but I wanna play with someone else tho”, it’s just a kink I do not get, like why would you want to be treated like this is beyond me.

But then I also generally dislike infantile characters, and I can’t ship smth if I don’t like both parties, so maybe bc of this. I always like the mature characters. Like even when I do know in theory that a 13 year old in reality can’t behave like Todoroki, I’m still like, I don’t fucking care, that’s the one I like xD But when 20 years old Ikuya behaves like this, I just do not appreciate it, I guess.

2. “I don’t have an identity, my identity is you or what you want me to be” category, including “my dignity flew out of the window” ones and “I just do what you do”. (I CANNOT HANDLE THIS DYNAMIC, YOU KNOW I CAN’T!!!!!!! I DO NOT WHY, BUT IT’S JUST PISSING ME OFF THE MOST OF ALL PROBABLY)

examples: Eren/Mikasa, Haru/Makoto, Natsusa/Sei from “Number24″.

Sports animes do that a lot. “The only reason I played rugby is because you played it” is a major cringe. And no, it’s not romantic. Romantic is like when you’re both passionate about this and doing this sports together makes it even better/more meaningful, that I get. Not, “I only went there bc you like it” and I’ll have what you have, I’ll do what you do. Like.. huh? You firstly a person, as in fully formed one pls, you can’t exist as someone’s trail. 

Those ships always contain this one person (like Mikasa, Makoto), who are just the accessory of the other character. Mikasa’s problem is not the ackerbond, it’s her life position, she herself chosen to be Eren’s doormat. And some also find this romantic, I think, but I just hate such things. Also the truth of life: if you don’t respect yourself, your crush won’t respect you either. Just saying.

Makoto, I sincerely think, if Kisumi would be his neighbour instead of Haru, he’d be playing basketball at school lmao. Like SD has so many of absolutely terrible scenes, where Makoto just for real turns to Haru and goes “do you think I should go to the basketball club if we’re not swimming?” like dude, I’m... he’s like a walking definition of “meh” if there ever existed one. How can you do not care what you do? Like at all. This is beyond me. That’s sad. Watching him makes me sad.

I just need both characters in a ship be you know THEM, fantastic on their own, then when they’re together they become an absolutely explosive magic. It’s just a true fact.

Also there is one ship who is not quite this category, but kinda touches this theme. Ciel and Lizzy from “Kuroshitsuji”, ike the original Ciel, for whom she wanted to pretend to be a dumb damsel in distress for the rest of her life. Like fucking seriously????? You’d live like this????!!!! Fucking hell, you must really don’t love yourself like at all.

3. Humiliation isn’t my kink.

examples: Dazai/Akutagawa, Midoriya/Bakugou.

Akutagawa and Midoriya are badass motherfuckers and also wonderful human beings on their own. When they encounter Dazai and Bakugou they become sheeps. I hate seeing them like that, that’s basically it. Also humiliation is really not my kink. The whole “treat him like crap” thing. Like some things they did to them is just.. my god, I don’t like it.

Like when Dazai asked Atsushi to throw the phone moment, I literally flinched so hard watching it, I can’t even explain this feeling between the dejection and utter disgust at the fact that Dazai did it, that I felt watching it, but I fucking hated it.

4. Those who bring out the worst in each other or don’t bring out anything in each other.

All my ships literally all with no exceptions make each other the best versions of themselves, push/challenge each other to become better/brighter/happier, etc., or add to each other that piece the other was missing. 

If someone makes someone feel depressed, miserable or even just simply stuck in a rut, that’s probably not it. There are some ships who just simply can’t make each other happy or even make each other unhappy and that’s a fact.

5. Ships with no development or development so tiny that you need 120 episodes and an magnifying glass to see it.

examples: I’d say, but I just don’t want those 10 year olds in my ask box again.

Hate this for obvious reasons. Because as wise ppl say “only fools don’t grow” or "if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living."

6. Those who are like brothers to each other and said so and don’t emmit any and I mean ANY sexual vibes or attraction in that kind of way towards each other. 

examples: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley (like THE FUCK seriously), Stiles/Scott from “Teen Wolf”, Keith/Shiro.

I just cannot imagine them being romantically involved, I literally can’t. And I don’t get it. It’s like they even say “you’re my brother” thing, but also they just do not give off any couply feels and imagining this kinda make me cringe a bit, cause I have two sisters I’m very close with and their relationship remind me of our relationships so just.. no.

7. They are not each others priority. Meaning both putting someone else or something else before them.

If they don’t put each other first, I most likely probably don’t want it. 

My jam is like Stucky and when they say to Steve “you do this, captain, and the whole world would think of you as a criminal” and Steve being like “fuck you, take your shield, take your idiotic hero rules, I don’t care, he matters to me more than your whole dumbass world”.

My jam is Lan Zhan who went against the whole world and a horde of stupid donkeys and fought for his baby till the end. He really didn’t care if he’d lose everything and what would other ppl think, if it meant that Wei Wuxian will be with him.

On the other hand, we have Jin Guangyao, who had Lan Xichen, but he wanted power and idiots’ love more, so he chose what he chose. Do not get this ship, like no, thanks.

As for putting specific someone else first. Rin/Sousuke, for example. I in general do not get it, but also like there are like 10 moments in the anime like in Yakusoku when Rin forgot about him, when he saw Haru during the tournament and an actual quote “Sousuke looked at Rin, who will always put Haru first”. So like... I do not get it. If you see them as a couple this is technically no good no for Sousuke, no for Rin.

8. Obviously straight ones, but “hey, I need them gay”.

I in fact just do not believe in a “straight ppl do not exist” thing. As I’ve said before there are exceptions where some characters give off the clear bi vibe, but those are pretty rare tbh. And even more rare canonically proven ones like Kanda from D.Gray-man, for example. 

The moment they show some character in anime drool over some girls he doesn’t even know, but he don’t react to any of the guys like this, this just means he’s most likely heterosexual. Cause only straight guys drool only specifically after seeing random boobs. So this thing always throws me off in some ships.

99% of my ships are either canonically gay or most likely gay, but author doesn’t want to label it. 

There are just lots of animes where main character/s have shown no interest in an opposite gender whatsoever like “Natsume Yuujinchou”, “Kuroko No Basuke”, “AOT”, “Number24″, “Fukigen na Mononokean”, “Tower Of God”, “Owari no Seraph” etc., but did in fact show interest in the same gender one. That I get, yes. 

And btw even if you want somebody to be as I call it a “wishful bi”, I think it should be only in situations like if these characters have some absolutely wonderful/undeniable connection, not just the ship for the sake of gay ship.

_____

That’s probably it. Otherwise I’m fine, I think :D  

#answered #anonymous #shipping #otp #anime #or should i tag notp xD #tbh 2 is my nemesis #I for some reason can't stand it #technically it's not THE worst per se but somehow for me it is

[introvertguide]

15 Badass Movies for a Fun Time at Home or with Friends

There is a buzz in the air as COVID-19 vaccines are rolling out and the hope of having a movie night with friends is again becoming a reality. Watching alone isn’t as fun because I want to talk to somebody about what I have just seen. A full theater does not agree with my introvert nature because somebody screaming or laughing or talking on their phone will ruin it for me. Watching with a fellow cinephile or two is perfect. But what to watch first? People have been stuck inside, so fantasy and alternative worlds have been overly popular. All I do is talk over zoom for a living. I think what I need most right now is a movie about realistic people with realistic skills that go into a situation and just wreck house. I need a badass movie. What is this “badass” movie you might say? Well, here are some basic criteria: 1) There must be a tough lead character who kicks butt while spouting one liners and doesn’t need superhuman powers (high levels of peak skill with speed, aim, or strength is OK if they are plausible in the real world), 2) most of the characters (good and bad) must be likable, admirable or at least memorable, 3) the lead must face and defeat overwhelming odds against them, and 4) extra points for memorable one liners. Also, I am only dealing with human protagonists (sorry Terminator), but slightly superhuman opposition is acceptable. This list is by no means exhaustive, it is just an example of some badass movies. So in no particular order:

1) Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

To start off the list, I want to mention the most well known American badass. Indiana Jones is a smart guy with a gun and a whip. He is rugged and punches guys in the face. He has weaknesses but works through them to get the job done. Harrison Ford was in his early 40s for this role and had this tough-as-nails and seen the world kind of feel while still being young enough to fight hand to hand. Any of the first three films featuring Indiana Jones would work here, but this is the original and it started the fun. Easy to watch. Easy to cheer for. Great movie. You can’t really go wrong with any age or group with this one. 

2) 13 Assassins (2010)

This movie is extremely badass but not for everyone. This is one of the goriest films I have ever seen as 13 warriors kill off a couple of hundred soldiers and the evil leader that they guard. The movie was directed by Japanese extreme horror icon Takashi Miike if that means anything to you (hey made Audition and Ichi the Killer). The movie has gallons of blood, but also an amazing story of redemption and honor. There are tons of scenes of a single warrior taking on dozens of soldiers and managing to overcome. Not for everyone, but still very much a badass movie.

3) The Raid (2011)

This is an Indonesian action thriller with the word action in bold. The film is directed by Gareth Evans and stars Iko Uwais as part of a small police force that tries to take down an old building that houses a drug lord and his violent gang. It has a lot of what I like in badass movies: one-on-one fights between the lead and almost superhuman villains, long well-choreographed scenes, a banging soundtrack, ridiculous weapons, and ridiculous gore. The fight scenes in tight places and the use of the environment for weaponry is amazing and the sound design makes sure you can feel every punch. The lead character should have no chance, but he makes up for it with skill and being a pure badass. This movie is one of the few that I would describe as having non-stop action.

4) Jon Wick (2014)

When did Keanu Reeves become so cool? I grew up with him being part of the Bill and Ted duo. He decides to learn martial arts and play a god-like being in the Matrix movies and then becomes a one man wrecking crew? I guess he is a badass because he does it so well. Keanu plays a retired hitman who is wronged and decides to go back to work for vengeance. He just won’t stop coming and seems to constantly survive out of pure hatred alone. There are 3 films in the series and any one of them will impress. Pure fun too watch.

5) Casino Royale (2006)

When I was asking around, there were many people who thought that James Bond was the ultimate badass. I disagree in that many of the older films show Bond as overconfident with the assistance of many people. In fact, Q is more of a badass in many ways than James Bond. However, when the series was taken back to its roots with the last book that had not been made into a serious film and made darker, it reached badass levels. From the parkour chase to a poisoning to an extreme torture scene, this was not like any James Bond movie before it. Roger Craig plays a much colder lead who gives no quarter, much more like what the greatest secret agent would have to be. Heavy on violence but light on gore, this film is more for all audiences than other films on this list.

6) Desperado (1995)

What makes this movie is not all about Antonio Banderas and Selma Hayek. It is that every other character is memorable and badass as well. The street standoff with Bucho’s men versus El Mariachi, Quino, and Campo is iconic. El Mariachi murders everyone in a bar with precise skill. The rogue assassin Navajas with all the knives played by Danny Trejo. Nothing but extreme shoot outs and fight scenes with a ridiculous variety of guns and explosives. I think what makes this movie so amazing is that all these amazing assassins are incognito and, when they suddenly produce an arsenal out of nowhere, it is always a pleasant surprise. Quino and Campo are amazing when they bring their guitars. 

7) Pulp Fiction (1994)

Truly the role that made Samuel L. Jackson into the ultimate badass. He and his partner Vincent are hitman that keep running into the worst situations. The thing about the film is that everybody is so cool. The characters are cool, the music is cool, the dialogue is cool, hell even the diner featured in the movie is cool. The movie only spans a couple of days (in completely separate segments shown out of order) but packs in 7 distinct situations that are all berserk. From the mind of Quentin Tarantino, this movie is dripping with the best characters traveling through the best story. Highly recommend.

8) Leon: The Professional (1994)

Also known simply as The Professional in the U.S., this film features the debut of Natalie Portman. It is directed by Luc Besson at his best period, right between La Femme Nakita and The Fifth Element. The lead is actually a quiet hitman who reluctantly takes a little 12-year-old girl on as an apprentice to become a paid assassin. Her parents were killed by a corrupt cop and she wants Leon to help her exact revenge. He is an absolute badass and somewhat of a caring surrogate father to the girl. Unlike a lot of the films on this list, the premise is not simply kicking butt in a bad situation. There is serious character growth. Apparently you can be a caring parent and a cold-blooded murderer...and that is badass.

9) Kill Bill (2003)

Being a badass is not exclusive to men and The Bride is a prime example of this. She survives a shot to the head, kills deadly assassins, slaughters a gang, and takes on a crazy school girl bodyguard. She is tougher then any lead I can think of and she has the bad attitude and sense of vengeance that makes for a badass. Combine this with the soundtrack and beautiful cinematography associated with director Quentin Tarantino and you have a beautifully violent movie in which the hits keep coming. Even on this list, the fight scene between the bride and Gogo Yubari is insane. Also note the nod to Bruce Lee with the bright yellow motorcycle suit. Beautifully badass film.

10) Aliens (1986)

In nature, there are few things more dangerous than a mother protecting their young. A mother will fight you to the death and make sure that, at the very least, you won’t be able to go after her kids. Now imagine an alien planet covered with hostile beings created in the mind of James Cameron and Stan Winston and you have a setting made to create a real badass. In the beginning, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is just desperate to survive and barely knows how to use a weapon. She meets a little survivor named Newt and then has a real reason to become aggressive. She and a group of marines fight through a station filled with super destructive xenomorph aliens made straight from nightmares to save this kid. The transformation is truly amazing and culminates in a mech suit versus a giant queen alien and it is extremely badass.

11) Army of Darkness (1992)

Far and away the funniest movie on this list, this is the third film stemming from Evil Dead and again stars Bruce Campbell taking on the deadites that were raised by reading from the Necronomicon. The opposition is the undead evil that faces the world which makes the violence very unrealistic. This was early work from Sam Raimi and features a variety of different shots done to the extreme. What really makes this film stand out is how Bruce Campbell is amazing at delivering a one liner. His classic quips have been used as fun Easter eggs in video games like Duke Nukem and World of Warcraft for decades. The quintessential horror comedy and a perfect example of a badass.

12) Die Hard (1988)

Apparently, I am a big fan of single characters that need to work their way through a building of villains using mostly intelligence and the element of surprise. Throw in some one liners and I am all for it. That is exactly what this is with Bruce Willis crawling barefoot around a 40 story building and fighting off a gang of villains. The movie also has Alan Rickman as the main bad guy and he is chewing the scenery. This is a great example of being a badass, but it is too bad that the follow up sequels were so poor. Definitely stick to the original and let the rest pass by.

13) The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966)

An OG of the badass movie genre, this is some of the best of Sergio Leone and the spaghetti western. Instead of one badass, this movie has three different leads that are all amazing. You have the good, Clint Eastwood, who is an amazing shot and a heart of gold under a rough exterior. You have the bad, Lee Van Cleef, playing an conniving assassin that will kill anyone that he doesn’t have a use for. Finally, you have the ugly, Eli Wallach, as a desert rat that will do anything to survive. They all gain information about a gold stash and need to work together to get it, but this creates a vortex of cheating, undercutting, and straight up murder. Clint Eastwood is more of the classic badass with his cigar, hat, and poncho, It is an iconic look on an iconic character in an iconic movie. That is what I call badass.

14) Ong-Bak (2003)

This less of a badass movie and more houses some of the most amazingly badass fight scenes that can only be described as badass. This movie introduced the great Tony Jaa to the western world and showed the high flying nature of Thai boxing and Muay Thai in general. The main character is entered into a street fighting tournament and the moves include a flying double knee drop and a full splits kick. If the whole movie was the tournament, it would be the best movie that ever existed. The variety of opponents makes the fighting even better and the cinematography is top notch. Tony Jaa is truly badass in this film.

15) Dredd (2012)

Not the crappy version with Stallone, this movie is seriously badass. It features Karl Urban who is helmeted for the entire film (as Dredd would be) taking on a 200 story mega slum filled with residents that want to shoot him dead. There is a drug dealer high up in the building and she locks down the entire compound with instructions to kill Dredd, who only has his rookie partner to help. He takes on random resident mobs, groups of gang members, and even a trio of mini guns that have bullets that can rip through walls. He has a smart gun with a bunch of ammo that he uses judiciously to kill everybody. This movie was seriously underrated since it had not been that long since the garbage Judge Dredd came out in 1995. The 2012 is a far superior movie, being much more violent and dark instead of having Rob Schneider as the comedy relief (not badass).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know there will be a lot of opinions about what makes a badass film and what movies i didn’t add. Feel free to add your own movies or critique my choices. I will stand by my choices, however, and recommend any of these films for a night of cheers and badass action.

#top 15 #badass movies #badass characters #dredd #the raid #ong bak #die hard #aliens #raiders of the lost ark #leon the professional #best movies #introvert #army of darkness #staying in #watching a movie #movie list #awesome movies #great movies #action #adventure #female lead

[blackcloverdatabase]

English Translation of Novel 2: Chapter 4 - Captains' Dinner Party (Part 1 of 2)

Here is my first translation of the Black Clover novels. These chapters are huge, so I’m splitting this chapter into two parts, making this section about 6500 words long. This first half features Marx and Julius at the beginning, then transitions into the dinner party itself. Asta and Yuno also get mentioned in a hilarious kind of way. It’s a lot of fun to see the captains interact with each other! I think I nearly died a few times while I was translating this…

--- Captains' Dinner Party ----

As a close associate of the Wizard King, Marx uses his memory and communication magic with absolute precision. He is a capable man. His incredible ability is made evident by the fact he alone is the Wizard King’s close associate, who has been entrusted to his duties. As we all know, the Wizard King is the one who stands at the top of the Magic Knights.

Of course, Marx does not take on half of the Wizard King’s duties by himself. There are several people who support him. However, right now, Marx is the only one who reports directly to the Wizard King. There are those who act as imperial guards or advisers in times of emergency, but Marx generally acts as the Wizard King’s sole support.  

In short, he is doing work that should be done by several people all on his own. Moreover, the current Wizard King, Julius Novachrono, disappears at every opportunity. It’s never related to his work, either. Rather, he’ll say “I’ve heard a rumor about some interesting magic in one of the neighboring towns”, and, like a mischievous boy, casually disappear for that reason. While protecting this (42-year-old) mischievous boy, Marx busily performs his daily duties. His position is one that a person without ability can never handle.

 But now……

“……Everyone, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to meet with me here today.”

Marx muttered through his teeth as a drop of cold sweat lined his noble face. His manner of behavior was clumsy, unbefitting of the capable man he is. He felt that he could throw up at any moment.

‘Why did things have to come to this…?’ he thought.

“…Hey, bowl-cut. Quit it with the formalities and get started already.”

The meeting place was the conference room of the Magic Knights’ main headquarters. Strewn across the table were many delicious-looking meat and vegetable dishes, as well as iced alcoholic beverages. There were also pots of food evenly spaced apart on the table, as well as…

“……Be quiet, Yami. A hideous man like you may not know this, but everything has a code of etiquette,” rebuked the Captain of the Blue Roses, Charlotte Roselei.

With her dispassionate reply, the others around the table began to speak up one-by-one.

“Huuuh? But, at this rate, the beer’s gonna get warm! Tepid beer offends my mana.”

“Kah kah. You two should stop getting to know each other so well! Marx can’t move on with you guys chatting so much!”

“Wh-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-Who’s getting along with each other!? Jack, don’t say such nonsense!!”

“Huh? Charlotte-san, why do you look a little happy……Eeek!?”

“……Young deer. The next time you speak, don’t be surprised if you find my thorns shoved down your throat.”

With Fuegoleon and Poizot absent, only seven of the nine captains were present. They were summoned by the Wizard King. A stormy aura emanated from them as they sat surrounded by pots.

“W-well then, at the very least, let’s toast…..”

Faced with such an explosive atmosphere, Marx forced a smile on his face and stood up.

“E-everyone! Today, let’s celebrate and get this party in full-swing……Cheers!”

And so, the dinner party from Hell began.

 --- A few hours before the hellish party began ---

 “……A dinner party for the captains?”

“That’s right. I’m thinking we should make today’s Magic Knight Conference like that.”

Marx and Julius had such an exchange earlier that day in the underground storehouse at the Magic Knight’s headquarters. They had heard that two members of the Black Bulls, Luck and Magna, captured an extremely difficult dungeon and brought the relics stored there into the kingdom. Of course, the two did not carry all those relics by themselves. At their request, Magic Knights from headquarters came to help them, but the dungeon was so full of relics that it took half-a-day to carry it all back. The relics were sent to the Magic Appraisal Division for appraisal, and, knowing that all of them have high research value, the Wizard King came to watch.

“Ooooh! Hey, hey Marx-kun! Look! This is amazing! This black skull is falling apart, but if you inject it with magical power, it becomes as good as new!”

…...Well, the other reason Julius came was to satisfy his curiosity.

“I must say, Magna-kun and Luck-kun are impressive, triumphing over ten opponents like that~! I want to ask them about it, but I wonder if they returned to their hideout already?”

“No, I’ve heard that they said they have some errands to take care of in Seitan, a village in the Forsaken Realm, so they left right away…They might have already left Seitan, but would you like me to try contacting them?”

“Hmmm…… no. They must be tired after a mission like that. Let’s let them rest…… More importantly, look! They say this skeleton has a magic room inside its body! This right here is supposed to be the switch to activate it!”

“Oh? As one would expect, all the relics from this dungeon are highly advanced…… wait, hold on!”

He was almost caught up in Julius’s pace. If you respond to him thoughtlessly, this magic maniac will babble on and on endlessly about magic.

“About the dinner party… well, that is, why do you think we need to do such a thing?”

“Why, you ask? ……Because we’re all comrades in the very same Order of the Magic Knights.  I don’t think we need any other reason than that to eat and drink together.”

“That’s true, but……”

That’s not what Marx was trying to say.

“Certainly, they have known each other for a long time now, and they all have their own personal connections with each other, but… this is hard for me to say, but, from what I’ve seen, their relationship with each other is indisputably bad. With everyone being like that, I’m not sure if they’ll be able to enjoy it……”

To put it plainly, this dinner party is going to be an incredibly unpleasant experience for everyone involved… is what he tried to imply, but Julius responded with an affable tone as he fumbled around with the skull.

“Yeah, the dinner party is probably going to be so unpleasant that you’ll want to die. Ha ha, I’ll remember you fondly, Marx-kun.”

‘I should kick this old bastard’s skull in!’ Such dangerous thoughts, which would most certainly be considered national treason if he did it, sometimes crossed Marx’s mind.

“But, you know, that is precisely why I’m throwing this party.”

With those words, Julius looked away from the skull in his hands and toward Marx.

“We’ve received a declaration of war from the Eye of the Midnight Sun, and we’ve been betrayed by Gueldre. Moreover, the Diamond and Spade Kingdoms are becoming increasingly aggressive. Now that we have more perils and unease, the Magic Knights must become more monolithic…… We’ve talked about this several times now, haven’t we?”

“……Yes.”

After Marx meekly nodded his head in agreement, Julius took a breath and continued,

“And, you know that I’ve been working these past few weeks in order to give form to that idea, right?”

“……Yes. Revealing the traitor in the Magic Knights, encouraging joint missions like what happened in Kiten, as well as the trial introduction of the new system called Experience Enrollment*…… and more, right?”

“Yup, that’s about it as far as mission-related tasks go.”

Strictly speaking, that’s all he’s done so far as the Wizard King. However, the truth is, there is one more thing he did behind the scenes. It’s true that Magna and Luck have just traversed a dungeon that has never been explored before, and they brought back a number of treasures. However, it was Julius who induced them into doing so. Julius knew that the Black Bulls were looking for a way to fix Asta’s arms, so he chose an extremely difficult dungeon that most likely held rare treasures.  He then used his transformation magic to transform into an old woman, told Magna about the dungeon at the black market, and gave him some hints about how to capture it. Whether or not they could capture it successfully was a bit of a gamble, and they did not find any clues about how to cure Asta’s arms (Well, it turned out that Asta had already healed his arms at the Witches Forest, anyway). Nonetheless, as a result, they became much stronger and successfully brought back the dungeon’s treasures.

Because of this achievement, the number of stars the Black Bulls have acquired now stands at 101, making them second only to the Golden Dawn. What was once the worst Magic Knight squad has clawed its way to the top in a flash. This will agitate the other knights and spur them on to work even harder. In other words, they must learn to cooperate with each other now more than ever. Though indirect, their efforts will serve as a great steppingstone for the Magic Knights to come together.

Of course, not everything will go smoothly. Still, just a little movement behind the scenes produced such magnificent results. For him, these results are more than enough.

“……What is it, sir? You suddenly started smiling,” Marx asked quizzically.

This made Julius realize that what he was thinking was showing on his face.

“Huh? Ah, no, ha ha, nothing really! I haven’t been doing anything behind your back, I swear!”

“……I haven’t said anything, yet…”

“…………”

Marx stared at him for some time before sighing in defeat.

“Well, it’s fine……I can more or less imagine what you did,” Marx said as he surveyed the piles of treasure in the room. He is truly a capable man.

“……So, what you’re saying is… this ‘Captain's dinner party’ is also an essential part of your plan to unite the Magic Knights?”

“Y-yup. That’s right.”

Julius cleared his throat as if to recollect his thoughts.

“I, too, am aware of the current state of their relationship. Though they aren’t exactly on bad terms with each other, it’s certainly not a relationship where they can laugh and eat together…… However, don’t you think it’s a problem if the Captains, who are supposed to set a good example for their squads, stay like this forever?”

“I completely agree with you, but I don’t think their relationship is going to improve after one or two dinners……”

“And it’s almost time for the Star Festival, you know? And I think I’ll probably be asked again, probably by either the King himself or one of the Royals “Are the captains working together properly?” …or something like that.”

Julius intercepted Marx’s words with a bored look on his face. Marx knew that Julius always makes that face whenever he talks about political matters.

“Well, I can be evasive if I need to be… but don’t blame me if something happens. The mere act of having a dinner party should have a little bit of appeal, I would think, which should improve their relationship a bit.”

It was only a few weeks ago since the attack on the royal capital, when royalty tried to place the blame on the Magic Knights. At the time, they were able to gain the people’s support, but that may not be the case next time. If such a thing were to happen again and the blame were put on discord amongst the captains, he wouldn’t know how to respond. Of course, Julius genuinely wants them to deepen their friendships with each other, and he also finds political diplomacy to be genuinely boring. However, one must pay attention to those trying to drag you down and prepare countermeasures accordingly.

“Sir……”

While Julius was thinking, for some reason, Marx had a look of admiration on his face as he said,

“You’ve been thinking about such delicate topics this much……!?”

“Sometimes I think about these things, just like how you sometimes don’t think of me as the Wizard King, right?”

‘Sometimes, you think of me as just a mischievous old man, right?’ he thought to himself.

“I was joking earlier…… However, I understand. If you’ve thought it through to this degree, then I will do all I can to help you,” Marx said with his hand in a three-leaf salute, his face finally breaking into a smile.

“Thank you.”

Julius expressed his gratitude with a small smile.

“……Well, I also have some personal reasons for doing this,” he said to himself quietly.

“Huh? I’m sorry, did you say something?” Marx asked Julius, but, by then, Julius’s usual smile had already returned to his face.

“No, it’s nothing. Well then, I hate to ask this of you, but can I leave preparations for the party to you?”

“……I understand. Are there any dishes in particular you think we should serve?”

He was a little worried, but he focused on asking pragmatic questions. The dinner was going to be in a few hours, so if he did not start preparing right away, he would never finish in time.

“Anything’s fine, but…… how about hot pot dishes? I heard from Yami that the people from his homeland all gather around a pot, strengthening their bonds with each other.”

“Understood. I’ll arrange for that, then.”

Hot pot dishes… it’s not a dish typically seen at parties in the Clover Kingdom. It’s a tall order, but that won’t stop him from preparing it.

“You have my thanks. Well then, I’m going to investigate these magic tools a little more.”

“That’s fine, but……”

Marx looked around the width of the room again with a bitter smile.

“Don’t get so engrossed in them that you arrive late to the party. I won’t be able to handle their questions by myself.”

“Ha ha! Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” he said with a grin as he returned his attention to the skull. Marx made one more bitter smile from behind Julius before leaving the room.

“A hot pot party for the captains…… the atmosphere is probably going to be strained, but there’s going to be alcohol, and, above all, Julius is going to be there. Certainly, everyone will behave themselves to some extent if they are before the Wizard King.”

“Right, as long as the Wizard King is there.”  

 With that, we return to the present, while the starting toast is occurring…

 ‘……. That old bastard isn’t here!!!!!!!’

Marx screamed internally as the amount of sweat drops on his face increased twenty-fold. To make matters worse, not a single one of the captains raised their glasses for the toast. He went to retrieve Julius ten minutes before the party was to begin, and yet, for whatever reason, he wasn’t there. Instead, there was a note which read “I’m testing the skeleton’s functionality in a separate room. Please start the party without me.”

After being hit with that bombshell, Marx frantically began to search for him, but he wasn’t in any of the adjacent rooms, and he couldn’t even feel his mana. His communication was also cut off, as usual. As he hustled and bustled about, the time came for the party, so he reported Julius missing and started the party. However……. just as he expected, the atmosphere was terrible.

“Please calm down, Charlotte-san! Why are you so mad!?”

The party has barely even started and yet Charlotte, whose face was red for some reason, was shooting her thorns at the Captain of the Aqua Deer, Rill Boismortier.

“……S-shut your mouth, Rill. I’m merely teaching you how you should speak to your seniors!”  

“Uh, no! I mean! It really feels like you’re trying to kill me…… ow, ouch! One of your thorns cut me!”

Sitting beside them were the Captains of the Green Mantis and the Black Bulls, Jack the Ripper and Yami Sukehiro. A turbulent aura surrounded them as they began to quarrel.  

“Hey, Rose lady. Stop scarin’ the deer kid. Look, he’s shiverin’ like a newborn baby.”

“Kah kah! Yami, you’re the one who started this mess!”

“No way, isn’t this happenin’ because a certain skin-and-bone-head decided to say somethin’ that would push her buttons? I bet your brain is as emaciated as your face. You poor thing.”

“HUUH!?”

Sitting across from them was the Captain of the Golden Dawn, William Vangeance. Rather than do anything to stop the quarrel, he simply sat there and smiled as he usually does.

“Fu fu. Everyone is getting along as well as ever, I see…… Even so, the Wizard King certainly is late.”

Sitting beside him was the Captain of the Silver Eagles, Nozel Silva. He hasn’t uttered a single word since the beginning of the party. A sullen aura of displeasure radiated out from him.  

“………zzz”

And finally, beside Nozel sat the Captain of the Coral Peacocks, Dorothy Unsworth.

“……zzz……zzz……..zzz……..nom, chew chew……zzz”

Whenever she is asleep, there is often a snot bubble coming from her nose. This must mean she’s asleep right now, yet somehow, she’s eating. There are many things about her that are simply incomprehensible. In any case, aside from Marx, there was not a single other person interested in calming the place down. There was no sign that Julius was ever going to come, either. He has been trying to use his communication magic, but he still hasn’t been able to connect with Julius.

‘……As I expected, I’ll have to try to do something by myself.’

“W-wow! I prepared all this food myself, but I must say, this is a delicious-looking assortment of ingredients!!”

In an attempt to change the atmosphere of the party, Marx began throwing ingredients into the pot. While he was doing that, he turned toward Yami, who was still arguing with Jack.

“I heard this hot pot cooking is a dish from Yami’s homeland. But what’s the most delicious way to eat it? Ha ha, please teach me, Captain Yami!”

“Dunno!”

“…………”

With that single word, Yami went straight back to arguing with Jack. His eyes had met Marx’s for a single instant, revealing a killer’s glare.

“……. Ah, I see. Ha ha, that’s right! What’s most delicious is going to be different depending on the person, right? I’m sorry.”

Marx felt as if his heart was about to break. He needed to find someone to talk to so that he could recover. Just now, his conversation partner and his timing were both terrible. This time, he’ll find someone who looks more open to conversation……

“Ah, C-captain Nozel! Do you like poultry!?”

At that moment, Nozel, who was reaching for some roast duck, shifted his gaze toward Marx. He may be hard to talk to, but if it’s a conversation about his favorite foods, he’ll open up a little. At least, that’s what he thought……

“Kah kah, come to think of it, I’ve never seen ya eat or drink before, Nozel!”

“Oh, he’s eating! Somehow, I feel kinda moved by seeing this. It’s like watchin’ a feral cat who doesn’t let you pet it finally eat the food you put out for it for the first time… I feel like I’m gonna tear up.”

……This is the worst. Jack and Yami paused their fight to poke fun at Nozel. They both must have decided that teasing him is more interesting than fighting with each other. However, their target ignored them and continued to eat his meal with refinement. Marx isn’t sure whether he should be surprised by this development of if he should have expected it. After all, Nozel knows very well how those two are. However, even though he looked calm…

“Kah kah, a cat!? But, now that ya mention it, he’s totally like a cat! A very prideful cat!”

“Yeah. When you think of him like that, he starts lookin’ kinda cute.”

This made Nozel’s forehead muscles twitch, but then the two pushed even further.

“Cute? With that sour look on his face? Kah kah! What the hell are you lookin’ at?”

“Nah, he’s cute. It’s the braid, y’know? He does that every mornin’ cuz’ he wants to look cute.”

“……Hey, that’s enough you two!”  

Rill exploded. He puffed out his cheeks and pointed at Nozel’s braid.

“Nozel-san thinks his braid is cool! Seeing him get made fun of for that is just too pitiful…… Eeek!”

In the blink of an eye, Nozel thrust a spear of mercury into Rill’s throat.

“Huh, wait, what!? Why!? I was just trying to back you up! Besides, didn’t Yami-san and Jack-san say way worse things about you!?”

“……Silence. You’re hopeless.”

“Why are you being so unreasonable? ……Hey, o-ouch! Wait, the cut I got from those thorns earlier is even larger now!?”

Marx quietly looked away from the chaos that was ensuing between them. Nozel is certainly being unreasonable, but, no matter how you look at it, Rill is suffering the consequences for what he said. Let them handle their own problems, he thought.

“……H-hey, Yami”

After Marx made his cruel decision, Charlotte, who was sitting beside him, quietly divided the contents of the pot into small plates as a faint blush colored her cheeks.

“……Since I was already taking my portion, I decided I might as well make a plate for you, too…… I-it’s in the way, so hurry up and eat it,” she said as she placed a small plate in front of Yami.

……Come to think of it, ever since he told her that today’s meeting will be a dinner party, she has been acting a little strange. It seemed like she had to muster up her courage when she sat next to Yami, and she looked rushed when she did it. Even after the party started, she has been acting as if she was trying to get the timing right on something.  

Could it be that she wants to look after Yami? He wasn’t sure what her intentions were, but if that was what she was trying to do, then he’s very grateful. If she can hold Yami in check, then Jack should calm down a little, too. That would rein in the two biggest troublemakers here.

Just as Marx was getting his hopes up, Yami and Jack turned toward each other,

“……Hey, Yami, because you started saying weird shit, now even Charlotte has started acting out of character…. What the hell!? What the hell is up with this enigmatic woman!? Talk about terrifying!”

“I don’t know! H-hey Charlotte……Wha-what is your aim here? I-is it my life you’re after?”

“Y-you cretins!! I was trying to do you a favor!!”

“Wooooooooooooow, what a delicious-looking dish!! Y-Yami, if you won’t eat it, then I wiiiiiiiiiiilllllll!!”

Just as Charlotte was about to summon her thorns again, Marx speedily forced his way into the conversation.

“……Y-yes! Please eat it, Marx! I want nothing to do with this foolishness anymore!”

For just a moment, Charlotte’s face was like a demon’s, but then she replied with a pout as she pushed the plate onto Marx.

‘……I don’t really get what just happened, but, for now, the danger has been averted,’ he thought.

“Ah, I-I know! Captain Yami! You had Yuno-kun in your squad a few days ago for the Experience Enrollment! How was that!?”

Though he just averted one crisis, it was only a matter of time before they would provoke each other again, so he decided to change the topic of conversation.

“Ah, that’s right! I just remembered! Hey Goldy, I wanted to talk to you about that!”

Marx wasn’t sure if he chose the perfect conversation topic or if it was just his timing that was good, but Yami stopped arguing with Jack and turned toward Vangeance.

“Hand Yuno over, ya hear? Not as a trade. Give him to me free of charge.”

‘……Well, I successfully managed to start a conversation, but it sounds an awful lot like blackmail,’ Marx thought.

“Ha ha…… I’ve heard a little bit about what happened while he was with you, but does Yuno interest you that much?”

Vangeance replied with a smile as he gently swirled the contents of his cup. As far as Marx was aware, Vangeance is the only one who can behave so elegantly while being pressured by Yami.

“Yeah, I could make real good use outta him. He’s great at cookin’ and cleanin’, and he could buy my alcohol and cigs for me.”

“I heard about that from Yuno himself. When Sandler heard, he became very angry and said, ‘You may be a mere peasant, but to think he’d make members of our squad do things like that……’. I had never seen him make a face like that before.”

“Well, of course, I also think that Yuno’s magic is really somethin’ else. It’s really crazy, that spirit magic he has. Yuno’s magic by itself is strong enough, but with that spirit supportin’ him, all his other spells have gotten multiple times stronger.”

It is said that a spirit dwells in each of the four major attributes: earth, fire, wind, and water. Extraordinarily powerful magic that can only be wielded by those who have received the spirit’s blessing, that is spirit magic. Yuno has been blessed by the wind spirit, Sylph. She has already made significant contributions in many of his missions.

“He’s really somethin’. He dried the laundry so damn fast!”

That ability is not for housework.

“You get what I’m sayin’, right? So, hand him over.”

And it’s not something one can get so easily.

“Ha ha. No. You’re not even offering me anyone in return, you know?”

“Huh? What, you mean you’ll think about it if I trade ya for him? There’s someone on my team you want?”

“……Hmm, let me see.”

From behind his mask, a mischievous glint shone in his eyes.

“How about…… Asta-kun?”

“…………”

Everyone at the table paused in shock. This has to be a joke, the kind you usually make at a drinking party, they thought. Surely, neither of them was being serious. Still, even if they were joking, he brought up Asta’s name in a conversation about trading the Golden Dawn’s ace ……he’s essentially saying that Asta’s value is equivalent to Yuno’s. That peasant who doesn’t even have any magic? Everyone knows that Asta has been an excellent Magic Knight. His name has shown up frequently in recent reports, and some of the captains here have even fought together with him. However, not having any magical power whatsoever is too dire a handicap to have in the Magic Knights. Thus, everyone was shocked to hear Vangeance bring up his name. Marx wondered if he could sense some kind of potential in Asta.

“Huh, you kidding? You’d be fine with him? You can have him. His arms were broken until just a while ago, but he seemed fine yesterday, so feel free to use him however you want.”

However, Yami didn’t seem fazed, continuing to speak in his usual way.

“……Well, but,”

In the next instant, his mouth upturned into a provocative smirk as he said,

“I don’t think you’d be able to handle him.”

“……I wonder about that.”

For a brief moment, the two stood still, studying each other without a word.  

The atmosphere around them wasn’t unpleasant, but it was a peculiar air, as if the two were trying to measure something specific in the other. Just as Marx was getting ready to chip into the conversation,

“Fu fu, let’s leave the joke at that…. I won’t hand Yuno over to you. Everyone is expecting great things from him this year.”

“Huh~ What the hell? You stingy golden weird mask guy.”

“Ah ha ha…… huh? Was that always meant to be an insult? Not my nickname?”

With that, they started drinking again, smiling as they continued to converse with each other. Unlike before, when they seemed to be throwing riddles at each other, there was no unpleasantness at all between them, just genuine enjoyment of the moment.

If this keeps up, the other captains will probably get involved, and then they’ll all enjoy being part of a normal conversation. Marx felt a wave of relief wash over him, but then…

“Tch. Fine, fine. My brat has more guts than Yuno, anyway~”

Oh no. With that single sentence Yami casually blurted out, Vangeance’s smile stiffened by just a little bit.

“……I guess. Well, I think that Yuno has a considerable amount of guts, too. I haven’t tried to compare them before, so I can’t say this with certainty, but I don’t think that Yuno necessarily loses to Asta in that regard.”

“…………”

With those words, this time, it was Yami whose expression tightened a bit.

“……Naah. I don’t know about that. That Asta hates losing so much that he’d rather die, so I bet he’d come out on top. I can’t say that with certainty, though.”

“……Yuno also hates to lose. He told me himself that, during the raid on the Capital, the reason he was able to capture a member of the Eye of the Midnight Sun is because of how strongly he felt those very emotions.”

“Nah nah, if you’re gonna bring that up, Asta killed a ton of zombies during that very same attack.”

“He did, but Yuno defeated a member of their upper echelons. Because of him, we were able to obtain vital intel on the Eye of the Midnight Sun, wouldn’t you agree?”

“The only reason we were able to get that intel is because Asta used his sword to break the protection spell on them!”

“Huh, wait, what? Ha ha… what’s wrong, you two?”

Marx attempted to stop them, but his voice didn’t reach them, and the two continued their dispute. It’s probable that neither of them intended for this to happen. However, no matter what they might say, it’s clear that they both dote on their squad members. The two got more fired up with each exchange until their souls were practically screaming “My child is better than yours!”. Neither of them has had much alcohol yet, but perhaps the power of alcohol had at least something to do with it.  

……And then, finally,

“……Then, we’ll just have to do it.”

Yami spoke with a sharp gaze and a voice so low it could kill.

“You mean, we should summon them right here, right now, and have them fight until one of them collapses… right?”

“Hmmm…… I guess that will be fine.”

“THAT’S NOT FINE AT AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!”

Marx finally decided it was time to intervene, but he was no longer in their field of vision. He was used to Yami being like this, but it was rare to see Vangeance’s eyes like that. It might even be the first time he has ever seen Vangeance like this.

‘So, this is how strongly he feels about his squad members……,’ Marx thought.

“P-please wait! Having them fight now is…… it’s definitely too sudden, don’t you think!? Plus, the two of them hail from the same village, right!? Suddenly making them fight each other would be too cruel!!”

“Actually, I’ve been told that fighting each other is how they’ve honed their practical combat skills since they were kids. We just want them to do that one more time, so I don’t think they would find our request particularly unreasonable.”

Vangeance was surprisingly calm as he said this, which suggests that he was never carried away by his emotions to begin with. He’s just that wicked. People who are calm and logical when they’re angry are the most frightening of them all.

“Well, that may be so, but…… they don’t need to fight right now, do they!? What about the dinner party!?”

“Would ya shut up already!? We can eat and drink while the two fight it out!”

“What!? That sounds just like what rich people with bad taste do for fun! You’ll traumatize them!”

To watch two people who grew up together like siblings fight to the death against their will! Only a demon would do such a thing and smile about it!  No, this man is called the God of Destruction for a reason. Come to think of it, if these two are saying things like this, then, most likely……

“Kah kah! Hey, Yami! Are you two planning to enjoy such an interesting spectacle without me?”

Just as Marx predicted, Jack joined the conversation.

“Let me in on this, too. And then I’ll cut up whoever wins.”

“Eeeh!? Jack-san is going to fight, too!?

It was as if a chain-reaction had begun. This time, it was Rill who responded, making sideways glances at Charlotte and Nozel as he spoke.

“A fu fu……Then, maybe I’ll go, too. I-it’s not like I feel really uncomfortable around certain people and am trying to get myself as far away from them as possible or anything!”

“……I don’t know what you are so fearful of, nor do I care, but I plan on coming as well.”

“Huuuuuuh!?”

Charlotte quietly declared her intent to participate, unconcerned with Rill, who’s eyes were wide with shock. Marx’s expression mirrored Rill’s as he sputtered,

“B-but…… Why you, too, Captain Charlotte!?”

“……Usually, I care not for whatever these men might do. However, the Star Festival will soon be upon us, an event of great importance. These foolish men need someone to keep an eye on them so that they don’t do anything stupid.”

For some reason, she kept stealing glances at Yami’s face as she spoke.

“……It’s dangerous to leave him unsupervised.”

For the second time that night, Yami and Jack exchanged looks after watching her behavior.

“……Hey, Jack. What’s up with her today? Dangerous to leave me unsupervised, she says……? Is she planning to follow me and… attack me from behind with her thorns!?”

“C-calm down, Yami! Try to remember! You probably did something to make her mad! You know, like… you defiled her honor or something!”

“…...I-I’m going to kill you!!”

“Please don’t!”

“C-captain Dorothy, Captain Nozel! You think it’s messed up to make Asta and Yuno fight, too, right!?”

Marx desperately called out as he shielded Yami with his body, arms outstretched. He didn’t have any faith that either of those two would join forces with him, but they were the only two who hadn’t yet entered the conversation. They were the last two he could possibly depend on, so he had no choice but to stake the last of his fleeting hopes on them.

‘……But, when you think about it, neither of them has been enjoying the party at all, but they haven’t done anything to spoil the party, either. No matter what they might say, that in itself could be evidence that they feel quite at home at this party, which means they might be willing to help me dissuade the other captains.’

Holding such hopes in his heart, Marx waited for either of them to make a response. However…

“……………………..”

“zzz………zzz…….zz zz, zzz-zz-zz…….zzz……zzz”

It was no good. Nozel’s eyes conveyed the message, “I don’t care. Bother me and I’ll break your spine in half”. Dorothy’s only response was her snores.

‘……As I thought, I’ll have to do something about this myself,’ Marx thought.

“P-please calm down, everyone! For now, let’s all sit back down! This dinner party is a formal banquet organized by the Wizard King, you know!? To disregard that would be unforgivable!”

He didn’t want to do this, but he decided he needed to borrow some of the Wizard King’s authority, so he mentioned him by name. Even so, he wasn’t sure if that would be enough to settle everyone down……

“……Or, how should I put it? Regardless of the fact this party was organized by the Wizard King, please do not abandon this banquet.”

Maybe he’s spilling the beans too soon. Maybe this banquet is all just a political maneuver.

“……The Wizard King established this banquet to deepen your friendships with each other.”

At the very least, he wanted them to know that fact.

“It’s true that I think this is a clumsy way to do it. It’s true that I think it’s hopeless. In fact, I think that it’s really irresponsible of that magic maniac to organize a banquet and not even show up! I’ve been thinking that, just once, I want someone to give him a good thrashing!”

“H-huh? Marx-san, are you trying to back him up? Or, do you just want to insult him?”

Rill’s voice was full of worry, bringing Marx back to his senses. He nearly let the daily frustrations he has built up erupt out of him.  

“A-anyway, it’s an undeniable fact that this banquet was prepared in consideration of your relationship…… So, I don’t want you all to quarrel like this at the banquet he prepared for you.”

“………”

With Marx’s desperate appeal, the entire banquet fell silent.

…This banquet has strayed far from what the Wizard King intended. At this point, even if the Wizard King were here, it would be impossible to fix. However, this was the only way Marx could think of to keep the party from falling to pieces. Just as he feared, getting this group to get along with each other was impossible……

“……What nonsense.”

Nozel retorted as he slowly stood up from his chair. His retort felt like an attack on an already defeated enemy. With that, he made his way toward the exit.

“……Ah, wait! Captain Nozel! Where are you going!?”

Nozel stopped and turned his head over his shoulder, looking back at Marx with frightfully cold eyes.  

“I’m going home. His goal was to deepen our friendships with each other, correct? However, with this banquet now in shambles, that will not come to pass. Therefore, it is pointless to remain here.”

“………”

He was right.

“……Or rather, do you not agree that this was impossible from the beginning? Me? Getting along with a commoner, a foreigner, and a fallen noblewoman?”

His cold gaze moved from person to person before meeting Marx’s gaze once more.

“It’s true that cooperation among the various squads of the Magic Knights will be essential as the war continues to intensify.  However, cooperation and familiarity are not synonymous. Rather, such half-baked acquaintanceships give birth to carelessness, and carelessness disrupts cooperation. Instead of wasting time on such meaningless gatherings, it would be more worthwhile to conduct joint exercises.”

“M-meaningless, you say……!?”

But he couldn’t refute what Nozel said. Though Marx felt that Nozel took things too far, none of what he said was incorrect. Even so, the Wizard King is…..!

“……Isn’t discussin’ that kind of thing one of the reasons that guy set this party up?”

“………!”

The one who said the very remarks Marx wanted to make was Yami. His eyes and tone were as extraordinarily deadpan as usual as he continued,

“Also, you’re right when you say that a half-assed friendship would only lead to careless mistakes, but if we don’t start by half-assing it, then it’ll never develop into real trust. That’s what strengthens collaboration…… not that I don’t understand where you’re comin’ from. I don’t wanna do it, either.”

“……Shut your mouth, foreigner. It was because of your ridiculous proposition that the order of this event was disturbed in the first place.”

“Ah, that whole thing about how we were gonna make Yuno and Asta fight? Yeah, I thought it would liven this place up a bit, but I guess we really shouldn’t. Sorry ‘bout that.”

Yami glanced at Vangeance, who apologized with a wry smile,

“Yeah. Ha ha, I guess that wouldn’t exactly bring us closer together, would it? Just as you said, I thought it would be nice to have them fight it out a little and then treat them to the food here, but…… certainly, it was an impudent proposal. We got carried away, and I apologize for that.”

“……huh?”

Marx’s eyes widened in shock.

‘Did those two come up with that idea in order to revitalize the banquet? By making all those objections and trying to keep everyone here against their will, did I end up ruining their idea and making the situation awkward for everyone……?’  

“Anyway, sit back down, Mr. ball-o’-pride. I’m not sayin’ you need to get along with all of us, but can’t you at least wait for the Wizard King to arrive? You can just tell him what you told us earlier and then leave, so you won’t have to stay much longer, y’know?”

“…….”

Just when Nozel opened his mouth to respond to Yami’s words, they heard the sound of something distorting.

“Oh… I finally got through to you.”

When he looked toward the direction of the sound, Marx saw the Wizard King’s face projected through his communication magic.

--- To be continued in Part 2---

I’ll post the next half of this chapter next week if all goes as planned. 

A note of explanation: “Experience Enrollment” is referenced in previous chapters of this novel. Though I haven’t translated those yet, it appears to be the name of the program for Magic Knights to spend a day working in a different squad. An example of this is when Asta works for the Golden Dawn in chapter 2 of this novel.

#Black Clover #Order of Knights Book #Yami Sukehiro #Julius Novachrono #William Vangeance #charlotte roselei #Jack the Ripper #rill boismortier #dorothy unsworth #nozel silva #Marx #My translations

[coolgirlontheweb]

sasuke uchiha (Naruto) - INTJ

when typing, a lot of people forget that the individual functions work in tandem with each other in a single type - they don’t exist in a vacuum, but instead have relationships that sometimes compliment each other, and sometimes oppose each other, like sasuke and his Ni-Fi. sasuke is the single most distinguished and potent example of an unhealthy INTJ - the things this poor guy went through all for the sake of the “shinobi world” is enough for the healthiest INTJ to only ever use Fi-Se; which is the exact problem we have with Sasuke. he isn’t an ISFP, but because of his use of Fi, overwhelming Fi loop and Se grip, a lot of people think he is.

sasuke’s dominant Ni and auxiliary Te in early naruto:

sasuke is practically the poster kid for dominant Ni and auxiliary Te in early naruto. his immature dominant Ni at 12 years old was over-serious, perfectionistic, and was quite unrealistic in his beliefs and expectations. his auxiliary Te, however, walked the line between healthy and immature. sasuke strived for a well rounded goal, he was tenacious and disciplined in his training and in realising his goals. with a great work ethic, he learnt systematically from mistakes in every fight he found himself in, which made him highly efficient. his great work ethic teetered over into immature territory by having an excessive and perfectionistic pursuit of results. just think of his attitude towards the notion of naruto surpassing him and the amount of training he resorted to in an effort to make sure that this never happens, and to achieve his goal. his overindulgence in auxiliary Te also made him stiff and humourless, and seemingly addicted to training which thwarted any healthy Se expression he might have had, which carries on throughout his entire character arc. sasuke was always devoted entirely to whatever goal he had for the future, and present sensory experiences were completely overlooked by him; there is no way that Se could be his auxiliary function when he has practically zero healthy expression of it. if sasuke was indeed using Fi-Se as his dominant/auxiliary, he wouldn’t be as stand-offish or combative as he is toward naruto in the beginning. his dominant Fi would make him noticeably more attached to the uchiha massacre which would make him more outwardly emotional, and his auxiliary Se would let him live in the present moment and thus, not be as objective or calculating as his Te allows him to be - sasuke would be less meticulous in his training, and less high-strung about things and people in general.

development of Se grip and Fi loop in late naruto:

his goal (his entire reason for living, in his words) however, doesn’t come easy to him. towards the end of the original naruto, sasuke steadily becomes more and more distressed, with his sensory experiences plummeting from pleasant and stable with Team 7, to insecure and agonising (which ends up fostering his Se grip and Fi loop), his past is exposed which is sure to make him uncharacteristically vulnerable - the reappearance of itachi, orochimaru and his damning curse mark, and naruto’s steady and quick growth all amalgamate into one glaring symbol of his own mental and physical decline. something important to note that this is all to himself, no one actually believes everything he thinks about himself, that he was weak on the night of the uchiha’s massacre or that he will never have enough strength to defeat itachi, what’s significant to his state of mind at that point in the narrative is that he believes this, which is because of his Ni’s natural tendency to speculate on potential implications, and his Fi at work contemplating in times of stress for him. the top comment made by AsuraPsych said something I think should've put the ISFP/INTJ debate to rest already: “Fi is a stress point for sasuke, not a point of natural strength”.

because dominant Ni operates closest to the unconscious mind, Ni doms have an unhealthy tendency to overindulge in introspectivity, which leads sasuke to overthink and over-criticise himself. this is very indicative of the unhealthy relationship with his Ni-Fi - both of these functions participate in making him critical of his own actions as well as his own emotions. functions operate in opposition with each other; they push and pull against each-other which creates internal conflict. i don’t think anyone can disregard sasuke’s internal conflict with Ni-Fi: his Ni is geared toward his future plans to defeat itachi, and notes its potential implications (like naruto getting so strong that he can’t get defeat him to unlock the mangekyo sharingan, which is where all of his hostility toward naruto comes from - watch the hospital fight and you literally can see the insecurity on his face), and his Fi is geared toward thinking about his traumatic past and is stuck making sense of the night of his clan’s demise, which literally comes to fruition at the end of naruto shippuden when he explains he could never move forward in spite of the past holding him back; that's practically word for word the description of his Ni-Fi conflict.

sasuke responds terribly to the sensory experiences of the outside world (Se) and his own internal rumination (Fi), which makes him develop into an extremely unhealthy INTJ, this time with an Se grip and Fi loop in full swing. it’s almost too apt that itachi’s infinite tsukuyomi is what sends him hurtling into an Se grip, and later Fi loop. the tsukuyomi that itachi puts him in is a repeat of the night of the massacre, where he is forced to live through the worst experience he has ever had. the sasuke that returns to consciousness is no longer the sasuke we once knew, but a deeply cut, volatile shell of his former self. this is the first time the expression of his Fi changes this dramatically, the second is after finding out the truth about itachi. by the 107th episode, sasuke’s Se grip is violently evident: he feels easily thwarted, provoked and distrubed. we see this in his refusal to listen to kakashi’s advice, where instead lashes out at him with harsh words - this is also a very clear expression of Fi loop, where someone’s own conception of morals and beliefs will blind them to any opposing opinion, nuance or context. sasuke’s previous use of Fi solely for personal rumination goes out the window, and is replaced by an unhealthy expression which shoots down any good advice as being too hard or too complicated. additionally, when naruto and sakura visit him in the hospital, he physically lashes out at sakura, who was only cutting him apples, and did nothing to provoke him. sasuke’s Fi loop also causes him to have irrational fears about compromising himself or his integrity, and is easily frustrated about challenges (the primary one here being naruto’s growth) which makes him take things way too personally. naruto was trying to receive acknowledgement from sasuke, but he took this as a show of hostile competition. coupled with his Se grip, it makes him uncharacteristically impatient and explosive, and the combination of the two causes him to challenge naruto to the fight on top of the hospital in an effort to try and salvage some sense of self and security.

sasuke finally succumbs to his overbearingly dominant Ni, unhealthy use of Fi, and Se grip, which makes him finally leave the leaf village. one of the defining features of dominant Ni is its ability to use idealistic impressions and symbolic imagery to set a direction. Ni as a function takes the abstract in and forms ideas on it. in children, this tends to manifest as being overly imaginative and insightful. paired with his piercing auxiliary Te, sasuke’s decision to leave the village is based on the relationship of his Ni-Fi, and his Se grip gives him the push to leave with the sound ninja 4. sasuke’s Ni uses idealistic impressions and symbolic imagery, such as naruto making a larger hole in the water tank using rasengan than him, to come up with judgements about the future. he rightfully determines that if he keeps on going as he is, naruto will surpass him in the near future, and he uses this to determine that he won’t be able to beat itachi this way. from all of this, he ascertains that if he wants to get power, he must also venture into evil and hatred. the use of symbolic imagery in his thought processes is clear as well - sasuke sees itachi as the symbol of all hatred in the world, and sees orochimaru as the symbol of evil. his tertiary Fi kicks in strong as well, to support his decision to leave as well by evoking the memories of his clan’s demise.

i think people are mistaking him for an Fi dom in his childhood because of how introspective he is, but Ni is easily misunderstood as being very impersonal, which it is not. applied to oneself, a dominant Ni becomes a powerful tool of self-assessment, which is exactly how sasuke uses it at age 12. a lot of his thought process isn’t recognised, and i think that this much more pronounced in the anime - because sasuke doesn’t have an internal monologue outside of battle strategy like naruto does, the viewer is left to gage what he is thinking a lot of the time, which is why people may find it hard to recognise his dominant Ni.

stable expression of Ni-Te under orochimaru’s guidance and as leader of hebi/taka:

under orochimaru’s guidance sasuke devotes himself to training, which allows his Ni-Te to shut down his Se (orochimaru’s hideout isn’t really a place that stimulates his Se), therefore it’s easy for him to completely disregard any sensory inclinations he has: he spends his time training and meditating - which no doubt strengthens his use of Ni-Fi. his Ni and Fi work in tandem making him committed to his goal. he begins to develop his Fi here - he follows a strict code of “no killing innocents” to be actively against what itachi did, and declares his hatred for orochimaru for the same reason he hates itachi before he kills him. whilst his expression of Fi helps him uphold his morals, this doesn’t mean it is his dominant function. i’m beginning to think that people are deliberately ignoring how much Ni-Te that sasuke actually uses. from the beginning of his introduction to us we learn he has an “ambition”, that he doesn’t care to call a “dream”, because he knows he is going to bring it to fruition one day, which he does, through his Ni making him resort to meticulous internal planning and excessive, austere training. sasuke’s dominant Ni gives him an unequivocal understanding of what his goal is and the easiest route he can take to make it happen.

INTJs use Ni-Te to see the consequences of the application of new ideas, and live to see systems translated into real substance. we see this in the formation of hebi - sasuke uses Te to be an assertive leader who is very terse and dominating in organising the group to reach his goal in the most efficient way possible. he says that over the 2 years he was with orochimaru, he paid attention to different shinobi and selected suigetsu, karin and jugo based on how he could use their individual abilities to get to his goal. there is no instant whatsoever where sasuke isn’t taking charge of the situation as the leader of hebi, or isn’t using his Ni-Te to gage the next move he should make, and how he should combat problems that he is presented with. dominant Ni is fundamentally focused inwards, on the internal world of thoughts, ideas, and concepts, as opposed to dominant Fi, which is fundamentally focused on personal ideals, morals, and emotional understanding of oneself. the only time that sasuke prioritises Fi over Ni is when he is trying to come to terms with the uchiha massacre and the truth about itachi. a weak argument to support sasuke having a dominant Fi is that all of his actions are driven by his feelings, however this isn’t true. his trauma and emotion, as well as the seed of hatred that itachi planted and sowed in him is what drives him. his feelings act as a mere catalyst to reach his end goal, but every action he takes, and his natural thought processes are certainly driven by Ni. sasuke is far too stunted and close-minded in his outward expression of feelings or authenticity for him to be an Fi dom - they don’t come naturally to him at all, but act as a hindrance to his mental stability - which only gets worse after he finds out about itachi.

instances of Ni-Te in sasuke’s battle strategy:

this isn’t part of the analysis, but i wanted to add that sasuke’s Ni-Te is also observable in his fight style, which i thought was interesting to pick up on. his Ni foresees his opponents moves: he consistently used lightning style throughout his fight against itachi to heat up the atmosphere so that by the time he is out of chakra, he knows he still has kirin left as a final move. sasuke’s Ni-Te is also merciless in clearing ramifications so that he can reach his goal; he literally asks karin to stand still whilst he sacrifices her by piercing through her heart to kill danzo using chidori spear. his Te systematically learns from mistakes, which makes him highly efficient in battle. in his final battle against naruto (part 1) he recalls that two chidori is his limit so resorts to another method of defeating naruto; in his final fight against naruto (part 2) he knows that using shadow clones are naruto’s preferred way to fight so he stops him making the hand sign around 4 different times before he can complete the jutsu.

#mbti! #naruto #sasuke uchiha #intj #Ni-Te

[aksthetwosainthijimiko-blog]

I am not Zero; Part three

A bit of a plot-hole between game and game two... Copy X blew up the top part of the Neo-arcadia tower, and the energy generated was so great, it propelled Zero out of it crumbling concrete structure and kilometre’s away from the Eden dome and right into the desert...

Now, how did the floor X was on remained intact? Really, he should be at the same place as Zero, and more damaged.

Unless the X in the second game was a fake... and mother Elf-was a hoax... or the whole thing was dreamed up by Zero as he laid dying in the desert.

---------------------------------------------------------

Phantom stared... the floor was gone, Master... the copy, in a desperate bid to destroy Zero, had destroyed it... partly. Leaving a rather convenient platform for the Red ripper to play on... Until the Mad Man tried to reach to him again.

Phantom had to give it to him. For a maverick and the antithesis of X with the way he dealt with the enemies, Zero was rather... Kind.

But the copy only got more intense than before. And while the first part of the fight had been pathetically easy for the ancient reploid, the second one was a floorless, forcing Zero to use the walls and the Copy’s own control rod to survive.

And Zero did! Practically flying from surface to surface as he rained punishment on the pirated copy of the legendary blue reploid. Whom, after his first attempt, had learned that it was better to use those wings to move then to just hover in one place like a lagging mess of wires.

Seriously... it was like the copy wanted Zero to destroy him.

But, as always, the red hero had won... and the pirated copy of the greatest reploid alive plummeted to his doom, his fate sealed with Zero’s disk weapon cutting his power core out.

After this fight... the quiet that pervaded Area X was deafening. And Phantom was his with the reality that he had helped Zero assassinate the leader of the ‘supposed’ last bastion of humanity... And Phantom as watched the event without even raising his voice.

He was Zero’s accomplice in inaction.

Speaking of the Successful assassin, Zero was hanging from an edge... something he had to cut out from the panels. He had ripped out some wires and... hot wired himself?

No... Phantom had no idea what the mad man did... only that he was dangling from this tear like an electrocuted squirrel a wire.

The Shinobi, using his nin-jutsu, made his way to Zero.

Dare he hope the bane of Neo-Arcadia died?

‘No... He stopped me from suiciding. So for him to perform this act would be ridiculous...’

But dared he hoped for Zero to be unharmed?

He was already a traitor by his inaction...

“Zero?” He called out to the limp reploid... no reaction.

‘He doesn’t look all that damage... and he didn't use one of his damn subtank... what’s wrong with him?’ Phantom wondered as he moved ever so closer.

And then... He heard it... a sniffle.

Now, not Many reploid would make this noise simply because they didn’t have any mucus to deal with. Meaning that this was purely cosmetic, and why was Zero crying after killing an enemy?

“Zero?” Phantom tried again, a little more forceful this time.

Still nothing...

Phantom mentally prepared for what he had to do next. “Dear... Lolita...” he managed to speak out.

Obliviously, This roused Zero from whatever was afflicting him. But it was clear the reploid was not at his best.

“Zero... what Happened? Why are you-” Crying... not that Crying and Zero should ever be in the same phrase, it was criminal.

“He was so young.... they never gave him a name.” The red and black reploid rasped. “ He... He wanted to die... to leave his mark on the world and...” He bit his lips as he vented out harshly. “He made his choice... I can only pray Yamaraja won’t let him wait down this shaft for too long.” He cleared his vents as his eyes turned dull.

‘Great... now what?’ The Shinobi wondered... only to have a hidden door open at the other side of the chasm.

This was the door Copy-X had used to get in the room... it was also a maintenance way.

“Alright... let’s get out of here... do you have a bomb squad?” Zero asked the Shinobi as he hopped his way to the open door.

“Not personally. But Fefnir has.”

“Obliviously...” Zero paused as he sat down on solid ground, leaning his head and back on the wall as he closed his eyes and took out a white cotton thread from under his armour and wrapped it around his thumb. Then, sitting straighter, he began to meditate again.

Phantom stared owlishly at the sight... He had no idea someone would be so eager to meditate... or pray as Zero.

Especially after murdering a copy.

Exactly four minutes later, Zero reopened his eyes and tucked the tread back in... but didn’t get up. Instead, he let all tension leave his body.

“Zer-”

“Just Lalita Das will do.” The red and black reploid mumbled. “I just needed some time to pray. Krishna told me I needed to rest and wait for a bit before I could find X...” He opened his eyes and looked right at Phantom.

The Shinobi... not knowing what to do, sat down.

“And who’s Krishna Again?” He asked as he observed the oddly devoted reploid.

“God... He’s a good friend to.”

Phantom grunted... Apparently, the cyber-devil was a buddy with God...

“He told me that if I killed... this kid, then, in a last ditch effort, he would blow this whole level.” Zero explained. Then he pointed at something behind Phantom.

The Shinobi followed the digit... and indeed, there was an unmistakable pack of potent explosive placed there.

This maintenance shaft was off limit to most, save X’s copy and a few humans...

The implication chilled Phantom core to a kelvin that would make Leviathan inelegantly splutter and blush.

‘How did I not noticed? I’m his... was his spy master!’ The Black and white reploid thought with quite a bit of shame and anger... and a healthy dose of fear.

The damage done to the towers surrounding area would be extensive, the debris would’ve killed quite a few, since the surrounding area of the tower yet another rather popular park... and the ever so popular apple market.

“Z... Lolita, tell your God... Thank you.” Phantom managed to choke out as he contacted Fefnir trough one of his tertiary account. He still wanted to appear dead to the world until Lalita’s work was done.

“Krishna’s your God too... and he said; Your welcome.” A soft smile drew itself on Zero’s... Lolita Das’ soft lips. “So... what’s your plan Phantom? I just killed tour ruler, I’m damaged and at your mercy... I’m sure the Neo-Arcadia will hail you as a hero when you drag my corps in the street’s to be disposed of.” he openly joked.

Well... probably not about being damage, he certainly looked roughed up. And he did have a point.

And yet...

“Humph! You're not getting out of the deal this easily Lolita.” Phantom smirked as he crossed his arms against his chest and leaned on the wall... the one that he hoped had no C-4 or whatever. “You still have plenty of time to find the real master X... but I doubt you will find him here.” Phantom admitted to his... Partner in crime.

“Hmm? And why is that?” Zero... Lolita asked.

“Think about it, why would they keep the original in a place where he could be easily found? Can you imagine if this copy-”

“Jagadananda already did...” Zero spoke sadly. “That’s why he went mad with power and desperate to prove that he was better than my friend.”

Phantom stared as he tried to work out whom Lolita was speaking about. “You gave it-”

“Him.”

“-A name.”

Zero opened his sharp blue eyes and glared at the Shinobi. “Despite what he did, Jagu was still just a child and a soul robed of all senses of individuality.” He began, not bothering to hide the anger in his voice. “ He was called X the moment he was activated, his head stuffed with the idea that he was the original who suffered from amnesia. He was X, he was the Hero...” The black and red reploid gritted his teeth. “And last year... Krishna told me a woman brought him to the top of the tower...” Zero’s voice faded as his ire grew.

“And then?” Phantom ventured... knowing that what would come next would probably cement his budding allegiance to Dear Lolita Das.

“He saw X... my best friend... and it broke him.” And this seemed to break Zero.

as this phantom learned about Lolita Zero... He was not as emotionless as expected.

He let him... express his sorrow. For if what Phantom had learned so far was true... Lolita had woken up in a worst-case scenario...

Not even Phantom would remain of stones if he would wake up one day in Lolita’s place...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and a half passed, an hour in which the glitch in the system had mourned for an innocent life lost and concluded his meditation.

Meanwhile, this gave Phantom a chance to review all that had happened in the span of four hours... and how much his life had changed due to Zero’s intervention.

He was alive, first... and he had learned and witness the madness of a four-year-old trying to play the role of a king, his death and the dept of Zero’s heart.

It was deep... and had more than enough space for the fake, the resistance and Neo-Arcadia. From what Phantom had learned from the red hero, this was to be expected from a Vaishnava... for he saw everyone as a dear parcel of God, an eternal spirit soul suffering in the material world.

“But... I’m not really there yet.” Lolita Zero admitted. “I still have some resentment for some people.”

“Like that woman who showed Jagu the truth...”

“Yes... and whoever thought it would be a good idea to keep X’s body inside Neo-Arcadia’s wall.” Zero grumbled. “I mean really, who’s idea was it to keep the Dark-Elf in Neo-Arcadia?”

“Probably the same person who showed Jagu X’s remains.” Phantom grumbled... then he realized what Zero had just told him. “How do you know about the Dark-Elf and how she got sealed?!”

Zero gave his partner in crimes a look.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Krishna just told me were to look.”

“But it’s top Secret!” Phantom scoffed.

“Once again, God told me were to look... I just followed his indication.” Zero muttered.

Silence fell on the two reploid like a heavy blanket. That was until Zero got up and stretched. “Talking about it won't get us anywhere.” he muttered. “I know you’re... other units will start to look around for you’re remains, and I would rather not have to face Harpuia and Leviathan.” A small shudder moved his frame as he climbed the wall up to a trap at the top.

“Oh? too strong for you?” Phantom teased as he went to help Zero open the trap.

“No, not really... But Harpuia’s wind ability messes up my proximity sensors more than I care about, and Leviathan... Is a bit too into me for my taste.”

“Why? You don’t like the attention?” Phantom openly teased, he knew he was now a traitor, and accomplice of Lolita... might as well enjoy it.

“No... I’m under strict vows of Brahmacharia.”

“Meaning?” Phantom asked as he managed to unlatch the hidden trap door, pushing it up to a dark void.

“Meaning, I’m a monk... and celibacy is the name of the game.” He admitted as he fearlessly hoisted himself up the hatch and into the unknown.

“A monk named Lolita...” Phantom flatly shot back as he followed the crazy fighting monk... who happened to be more right than wrong.

“It’s Dhira-Lalita Das Brahmachari. Servant of Manorama das and his wife Tivra-Bhakti devi dasi.” Zero corrected his unlikely companion as he scanned around the dark. “Great... This body’s useless in pitch darkness.”

“Really? You don’t have night vision?” Phantom asked as he pulled himself up, selecting said visual option now that he didn't run the risk of going blind.

Zero remained silent, probably digging in his surprisingly intact memories. “Well, it’s seemed I used to have it, but after my first bout of amnesia, I forgot I had it.” Zero admit as he jumped to an edge only Phantom could see. “I have better now.”

“Yes... so, you're a celibate monk who just so happen to be the deadliest reploid out there, having decommissioned and killed the ...’leader’ of Neo-Arcadia.”

“Serving God can take many forms... and I swear I didn't mean to kill him, Jagu forced my hands.” Zero argued back. “And I’m terrible at saving people... exe-” he stopped himself, it was clear he didn’t want to jinx it.

After that, Dhira-Lalita remained quiet until they reached the real upper floor. Where, If he were to be trusted, X remains were kept, and the dark-elf lurked.

And phantom could only pray to Krishna that Lalita was wrong.

#fanfiction #Mega Man Zero #mmz #mmz zero #hidden phantom #copy x #its a AU at this point #let's go get x #Zero does things early #Dhira-Lalita Das Brhamachari #he a monk now #a hare krishna monk

[make-it-mavis]

Homesick (Entry #40)

(cw: discussion of addiction and relapse) ----------

02/02/88  8:04 PM

Hey.

Well. At this point, it feels like there is so much to say, yet so little… comparatively.

Most of this bedtime story has been rife with screaming arguments, hallucinations, and explosions. There will not be so much of those, moving forward. I could say that the day I blew up Felix’s apartment was a turning point for me. It was the first moment where I truly felt like I had taken a step towards moving on and… letting go of what I could. But it was not a sharp turn, nor was it a great, leaping bound. Things did not suddenly get easier. No, they were only difficult in a different way.

But they were different.

I could probably fill a completely separate notebook with the details of my journey through counselling since then. But that would be very boring to read and to write, so I will just give you the important bits to catch you up to speed. Stay with me, now. This is going to be a whole lot condensed into chewable pieces.

In counselling, we learned about the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Looking back, I can see how non-linear it was for me. I spent so long dancing around the first three. But after my amnesia was cured, I arrived at depression. Collapsed into it, really. 

Now, I’ve been depressed before. It was quite some time ago, before you and I even met. So I recognized what I was experiencing. But this time around, it was… more acute. Less existential, and more like an injury. I wasn’t lost inside my head. I knew exactly what I was sad about, and it was as real and tangible as any physical wound I had sustained before.

It was as if my very code had been pushed to the point of exhaustion and could not get back up. I spent most of my time on Felix’s couch, and most of that time was spent sleeping. I barely showered and I smelled like hell, but Felix still insisted on having tea and chatting at least once a day. He did almost all the talking, and I usually didn’t drink the tea, but he didn’t mind. He’d just drink it for me, and end up taking such frequent trips to the bathroom that I’d fall asleep again.

Given that I could barely make myself get up and walk around, going to counselling was more daunting than ever. November passed by without me taking notice, and it was maybe a week into December before I was able to make it there again. When I did, I told everyone what I’d done. What I’d remembered. And how I had been absent so long because I felt too depressed to come. Then, of course, they told me that the best time to come to counselling is when you don’t want to. I wanted to argue with that, but they were probably right. 

I very quickly came to understand why counselling was done in a group. At first, it felt like a punishment, like we all had to sit around and think about what we’d done. Or that there just weren’t enough counsellors for one-on-one therapy. It’s not even entirely just for empathizing with others’ similar experiences, or creating a sense of community. No, it’s something much more annoying than that.

A group will hold you accountable. They’ll make sure you’re participating and call you out when you’re not. I went into the counselling experience hoping I could just do the time and get out, but no one gets away with that in a group. You can’t just rip off the bandaid.

No, counselling is more like ripping off the bandaid, then digging into the wound with tweezers to pull out all the shrapnel, then stitching up the wound, and repeatedly changing the bandages to avoid infection. And then those stitches can sometimes come loose and you have to do them all over again.

It sucks. It hurts. But I won’t say it doesn’t work.

Anyway, around this point in the ‘story,’ I still hadn’t quite finished Step 4, with the ‘fearless moral inventory.’ I was still having trouble deciding just what to say. I had Felix be the audience to my venting one night. I explained to him my predicament: I had done many things that others would consider ‘bad’ or ‘immoral’ over the course of my life, far too many to count or to list. And a whole lot of them, I didn’t even feel bad for. Pranks, petty theft, and general snarkiness seemed harmless enough. I didn’t know what was worth adding to the list.

Felix suggested sticking to the big ones. What things did I consider not so harmless? What things were bad enough to make me lose sleep over? What did I really, truly regret?

I didn’t want to tell him. Those questions felt too prying. But, reminding myself that I was trying to make big changes, I eventually managed to name it all.

I felt bad for… assuming the worst of everyone. Especially anyone close to me. I felt bad for getting them all involved with my problems, and… refusing their help, but still somehow taking advantage of them. For making Felix worry that I was going to die, and for making Wreck-it feel responsible.

And Tapper. Just… in general, Tapper. Everything I’d done to him. Lying to him. Using him. Endangering his game. 

Endangering my game.

Threatening that one anonymous stranger for a hit of GC.

And getting you hooked on my Shield and Lift buffs… way back when.

I took Felix’s suggestion to write all that down, and whatever else I might have been feeling. It definitely helped me sort out my thoughts. It didn’t feel good. At all. In fact, it was hard to fight the idea that I was a lost cause, and that even before all this, I was not worth saving. But I pushed on regardless, because it felt like the only direction to move in.

As difficult as it had been, listing all that earned me Step 4, and after I recounted it all to the counselling group, I had Step 5, Integrity, under my belt.

Even though it was hard, I was doing well in the program. I really was, all things considered. I had made it farther than I thought possible at the beginning. But like I said… those stitches come loose sometimes. Recovery, like my grieving process, has not been linear. And after Step 5, some part of me felt stretched too far. Like my code once more remembered that I’m not the sort to lay myself open for others to see. Too many sprites had been given deeply personal pieces of my mind to take home with them. It was unnatural. It wasn’t right. It was not like me. I couldn’t piece together this new life with the life I knew before and have it make sense. I was trying to make meaningful changes, for sure, but suddenly, I felt like I didn’t recognize the sprite I’d become. I didn’t recognize my game or anyone in it. It was… eerie.

It put a panicked, defensive fight in me. I had to set things straight. I would not allow this strange, foreign life to continue until I did. So, for the first time in… longer than I had realized, I went back to my den in the woods. Just to be somewhere familiar and see if I could remember who I was.

It helped a little at first. I dug through all the junk I had amassed, each one connecting to some small memory from before this all happened. But then I found three things that were… a dangerous combo.

Your scarf and goggles… and the bottle of blue wine Tapper had given me at the memorial. Still unopened.

I was able to resist the wine. But I… didn’t exactly get rid of it, like I should have.

As for your old, burnt belongings...

I didn’t understand what I was doing at the time, or why. I get it now, I think. Writing my thoughts down had helped in Step 4, and my head was a twisted, tangled mess that I just had to sort out before I went insane. I needed to understand what I’d been through and how I got there. It’s just that I was only inspired to start writing once I saw your scarf and goggles again. Once they threw that angry, vicious anxiety through me and I was possessed by the overwhelming need to reach you from beyond the grave and tell you just what you had done to me.

So… I started writing this story. Or these letters, or... journals. You know.

Since then it’s been… well, incredibly therapeutic. And, just like I thought they would, the folks at counselling said that journaling is a very healthy coping mechanism. That’s what I called it, too. Journaling. I wanted to keep the fact that I was writing to you private. I was already revealing so much to them. I wanted to have just one thing I didn’t have to tell them.

I didn’t think it would have made a difference, anyway, and it didn’t. Not at first. I finished Step 6 just fine, which was Willingness. I was pretty willing to let go of my old bad habits in whatever way I could. Step 7 was harder for a few reasons, not the least of which being that my higher power is not sentient, and I could therefore not ask it for forgiveness, or to remove my character flaws. But I sort of earned Humility in a different way.

You see, I didn’t tell them I was writing to you, but I also... didn’t tell them about the wine. 

And thoughts of you had not mixed well with the temptation of substances in the past. So, around Christmas, I holed up in my den and… relapsed. It was nothing big, as far as relapses go. But I’m still not proud of it. 

I just wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be. My first Christmas without you.

Anyway… don’t worry. That didn’t put too big a snag in things. I told Felix, and I told everyone in counselling about it, and they all understood. A couple others actually had similar challenges. Many of us had someone to miss, and it was a hard time of year to miss somebody. I admitted to them that I sort of felt like I’d failed. But Clyde remarked that I showed humility by so willingly turning to the group for support, which had been hard for me at the start. I very easily could have tried to hide out of shame or a need to shoulder it alone. Maybe I couldn’t ask color for forgiveness, but in a way, I asked the group for it. 

I still sort of don’t understand it. But, hey. Whatever the ghost says.

In any case, I was able to let the mistake go and move forward, which… felt very freeing, now that I think of it. Since then, I’ve been counting the days I’ve spent completely sober, slowly racking them up like the most boring, most difficult sort of high score.

It’ll be forty today.

I’m forty days sober, and I just finished Step 9 a couple days ago. So… I guess I’m doing pretty well.

I’ve been writing a while, and this pen is nearly out of ink, but before I wrap this entry up, I really ought to tell you about Step 9, and what it brought about.

Step 8, for the record, is barely worth mentioning. It’s Love, which, y’know, gross. But it’s basically making a list of the sprites you’ve wronged, which I felt like I had done three times already. Step 9, then, Responsibility, is making amends with those sprites wherever possible.

I’m already well on my way with Felix. Tapper, well… I’ve done the best I can for now. I don’t even know who the sprite I threatened was, so there’s little I can do there. And you… are kind of hard to reach lately. So, the only possible option left was...

Wreck-it.

I’d known for quite some time that we were overdue for a chat. We hadn’t really talked at all since I’d come out of that coma, which meant we had been surviving on brief, awkward greetings and the smallest of small talk for a couple of months. We were not on bad terms, nor good terms. We just sort of existed in the same space, trying our best to just tolerate each other and to ignore the elephant in the room. And before all this, I would have been content to leave things that way forever if it meant I wouldn’t have to talk to him about our feelings.

I only managed to speak to him once the 12 Step Program gave me any idea of what to say, and the desire for things to stop being weird outweighed the awkwardness.

I caught him shortly after the arcade closed the other night, just as he was about to board the train to leave our game. Caught him quite off-guard too, apparently, given the way he jumped and tried to smooth his little yelp into a casual speaking voice.

Like this: “Ahh--!! Ahh! Ahh, Mavis, I, uh, didn’t see you there.”

Making someone jump always brings at least a bit of a smile to my face. “Hey there, uh… Ralph.”

The use of his name rather than his title already earned me a confused eyebrow quirk, but I saw it as setting the mood for the uncharacteristically intimate conversation we were about to have. It seemed effective, given how still he became, almost holding his breath in a nervous sort of curiosity.

“You, uh… going to Tapper’s?” I asked, trying to get him to relax a bit.

“Yep…” he said, rapping his fist against his leg slightly, like he does. “Do you… wanna come too, or..?”

I pressed my lips together, not quite smiling. “Nah. Still can’t go anywhere.”

“Oh-- oh-- yeah, of course. Wow. Stupid question,” he sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “That, uh, counselling thing still goin’ on, then? Or am I not allowed to ask?”

“It is,” I shrugged, shoving my hands in my pockets. “And… you are allowed. It’s actually more or less what I need to talk to you about.”

“...Really?” he asked cautiously. “Me? Why?”

I closed my eyes and let out a steady breath, sorting my thoughts for the hundredth time. “We probably should’ve talked sooner, it’s just that…” I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Well, I’ll say it outright. I’m supposed to talk to everyone I’ve wronged. And that includes you.”

He paused. Then he squinted. “Everyone?”

“Well,” I said flatly. “No. Just the ones I’ve done the dirtiest. The big deals.”

“And I really made that list for you? Me?”

I sighed with a slow blink, and cut to the chase. “Ralph, I heard everything you said to me when I was in that coma. Everything.”

“Oh,” he said, shifting his weight awkwardly, until the memory visibly returned to him and he stood rigid. “...Oh.”

“Yeah. Do you…” I struggled to maintain eye contact, “Do you… I mean, do you still actually blame yourself for anything that happened to me… after that night at Tapper’s?”

“Pfft,” he huffed, smiling joylessly. “C’mon. Ew. Did I say that?”

I stared.

He quickly gave in, folding his arms with a sigh. “...No. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel bad about it. I wanted to help you. I did. I never would have dragged you out there if I’d known you’d… Well. Whatever. Bad Guys aren’t meant to help anybody. Lesson learned, yet again.”

“Yeah… sure. Except the thing is, you, uh… did help,” I said, and saw him perk up the tiniest bit. “You let me stay with you. Even though I was a thankless, entitled pain in the neck. You kept me company just because I didn’t want to be alone. I know you n’ I aren’t exactly bosom pals, and I know you’re a Bad Guy, but… I guess that just makes it even more of a damn decent thing to do.”

He seemed surprised by my words, even a bit shaken by them in some way, but still, his gaze fell away from me a bit. Seemed like he was no better at accepting genuine praise than I am.

Pushing on, I said, “And if you feel guilty right now because you actually wanted to cave in my skull the whole time, then, don’t. I’d have wanted to throw my ass to the curb, too, if I were you. I don’t blame you for pushing me out. I did at first, but I don’t anymore. I was already primed to spiral, Ralph. I was headed for rock bottom one way or another. Don’t blame yourself for what I did. That’s my fault, not yours.”

He looked at me again, a quiet sort of disbelief in his eyes, which was good, because I needed to look him in the eye for what I was about to say.

“Ralph, I’m sorry.”

At that, he seemed… put on the spot, almost. Like he had no idea how to react. He took a moment to think and to breathe, like everything had to sink in. I knew that he would be surprised, so I didn’t really react. I had gotten all of my weird, emotional words out. The hard part was over.

I watched him begin to scrutinize me, like there was some hidden trick behind my back. He even slowly walked in a circle around me, trying to figure me out. He found nothing, and I offered nothing.

“So…” he said, squinting at me sidelong, “you’re sayin’... you’re sorry. You. You, Make- it Mavis, high queen of the gremlins, are sorry.”

I knew he would do that. Make a huge, obnoxious deal out of it. “Yes,” I said plainly.

“For everything?”

“Yes,” I repeated, with just a twinge of annoyance.

“Everything.”

“Yes.”

Then he pointed at me, as if firing off his question quick-draw style: “Even for calling me a trash gorilla?”

“Hell no,” I recoiled a bit. “I’m a recovering addict, not a kiss-ass.”

That was the first time I saw him almost relieved that I’d sort of insulted him. He straightened up and folded his arms, the tension in his body visibly relaxing as he sized me up. He nodded the slightest bit. “Yeah, I know,” he said, “that was just a test to see if you’d actually lost your mind.”

“Oh, so this is the point where you question my sanity. Nothing in the past couple months has been all that unusual, then,” I said, sort of smirking.

“Nah,” he reluctantly mirrored my smile. “Home intrusion, explosions, tryin’ to conk Gene over the head with a wooden club -- all standard Mavis fare.”

That earned a snicker from me. “Don’t think he’s escaped my clutches just yet.”

“Yeah, in his dreams.”

A silence set in at that point. Both of our smiles slowly began to fade as the silence grew from content to awkward once again. I wasn’t sure what else to say, but Ralph looked like he was working on something, so I waited.

“So,” he eventually said, his tone more sober, “you… really mean all that, huh. What you said about… Y’know. That you’re sorry.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I do,” I said quietly.

“Wow,” he almost chuckled, and gave me a sort of smile that I’d otherwise never seen on his face. “Counselling’s sure done a number on you, huh?"

"Well," I shifted my weight, unsure how to respond. It was a strange truth, and it was even stranger hearing it from him. "That's the idea, anyway."

Ralph seemed pleasantly surprised by the whole encounter, but it was just about over. Some small part of him must have wanted to draw it out even longer, a sentiment that I'm sure came as puzzling to him.

Scratching his chest a bit, he said, "Yeah, well… maybe once you're free again, and if you're up for it, we could go for drinks at Tapper's again. Just rag on Gene like the old days. Or Felix, even. I'm sure he's drivin' you up the wall lately with all the fussing."

I clicked my tongue. "Not… for drinks, no. As amazingly depressing as it is to say, I don't drink anymore."

"Really?" He asked, just before lightly smacking himself in the head. "D'oh, of course you don't. Wow. Sorry. I don't know where my head's at today."

"S'okay," I shrugged. "But there's more than just drinks at Tapper's. We can still go. I'll just have snacks or something. Maybe some actual, real pretzels, unlike last time."

He tilted his head. "Last time…?"

Opting to not recount the embarrassing tale of my snack hallucinations from my last visit, I waved it off. "Nevermind. Anyway, this is all making the very big assumption that Tapper will even let me through the doors. Y'know… after everything."

Ralph frowned. "You miss him, huh."

My gaze fell to his feet. "Yeah," I muttered.

"Well, I'm just on my way to see him now," Ralph said, finally turning around to slowly squeeze himself into an undersized train car. "I'll let him know."

Just the thought of any sentiment of mine reaching Tapper sort of sprung a leak in my heart, and before I could think, I was talking, my voice trembling the tiniest bit.

"If-- If you're talking to him anyway," I said, stepping forward almost as if I would follow him, "could you tell him something more?"

Ralph seemed a little surprised by my emotion, but he nodded anyway. "Sure. What is it?"

"Tell him I'm-- I'm…" I sighed, and my shoulders fell heavy. "I'm... sorry. I was probably the worst to him, out of everyone. And I know I can't take any of that back. And if he never wants to see me again… I can accept that. But there's just one thing I really need him to know."

I swallowed. "He's the reason I even agreed to counselling in the first place."

"Really?" Ralph asked quietly.

I nodded, not quite looking his way, focusing all my energy on keeping it together. "Yeah. He… urged me to get help, and when I didn't, I… nearly got his game unplugged. I'm putting in the work now. I'm getting help. I'm getting clean, just like he said. I'm thirty-eight days sober. And it all started because I just… had to make it right. Doing right by him is what's kept me going through a lot of this."

I took a moment to breathe and rein in my unruly emotions, trying to consider just how much I really wanted to share with Ralph. I'm working on being vulnerable, but I've found that I can't rush it. Plus, I'm sure Ralph felt a little awkward on the receiving end. He just watched me, unsure of what to say, but a quiet sympathy still showed in his eyes.

"Just…" I cleared my throat, "just tell him I'm sorry… and thank him for me. Please."

He offered me a half-smile and a soft nod. "Okay. You got it."

At that point, the dinky little cord train began to slowly pull out of our tiny station, sort of squeaking with the effort of bearing Ralph's weight. I watched him go, feeling that hot embarrassment that follows a particularly personal share. The thought that Ralph was probably happy to see me being good to Tapper for once was both comforting and… kind of annoying.

After the train had moved a short distance away, I just about turned to leave, but Ralph's voice caught my attention.

"Oh, and Mavis?"

I looked to see him twisting awkwardly in his seat, calling back to me.

"...Thanks."

That just made my face feel a little bit hotter, but I gave a small smile and flicked a casual salute his way. "Don't mention it," I called back, and waited until the train disappeared into the dark mouth of the tunnel before adding quietly, "...ever."

After that, for the first little while, my evening carried on just about the same as ever. I wound up in Felix's apartment for the usual tea and chats. I played my guitar for a while, and Felix listened happily until the tea was all brewed, and we sat on the couch while he told me about his day. I talked a bit too, but I didn't tell him about my conversation with Ralph. I wanted some light chatter about nothing in particular, a break from the heavy topics that run so rampant for me lately. I even wanted a bit of tea. I still maintain that chamomile tastes like soap, but peppermint is actually pretty good with a hefty scoop of sugar.

It was a couple hours into our visit that the most unusual, most… amazing thing happened.

I had given in to the primal need to lie flat on the floor as I often do, and Felix was sitting at the table polishing his medals when we heard footsteps in the hall. Huge, heavy, thumping footsteps. We glanced at each other for just a minute before we both nearly leapt out of our pixels from the front door being knocked off its hinges.

Through the open, splintered door frame, there stood Ralph, eyes wide. Instantly, his face filled with apologetic embarrassment.

"Woops," he chuckled nervously. "Sorry."

I sat up, and Felix walked over to the door with a bit of an exasperated sigh. "That's alright, Ralph," he assured, easily repairing the door with his hammer and holding it open anyway. "It's polite of you to knock."

My heart began to settle from the frightful shock it suffered, but I was sort of wary to see Ralph again so soon after our last conversation. I didn't know what more he could want, but I didn't feel the emotional energy to deal with whatever it was. I stood and walked over to the door to meet him. He had to twist down a bit to see through the doorway, and his awkward stance was punctuated with a nervous grin.

"Hey-- Hey Mavis," he said.

"Ralph," I grit my teeth just a bit, more from discomfort than anger. I let my eyes dart to Felix just a bit, hoping to signal to Ralph that now was not the time. "...Hi. What… what's up?"

"Uh, well…" he sucked his teeth, "could you step out here for a sec?"

"Why?"

"So I don't have to stand like this."

That was fair. I obliged, and nodded to Felix to give us some privacy. After he closed the door, I immediately whispered to Ralph, "Okay, now what's so urgent?"

Even though he didn't have to bend over anymore, Ralph still had to bow his head to fit under the relatively low ceiling. He put out his hands just a bit to urge me to be calm.

"Look, I'm not here to bug you," he said, and lowered his voice when I shushed him. "I'm just here to make a delivery."

I squinted at him sidelong. "Of what?"

"Well, a message, for one," he shrugged, smiling a little bit. "I talked to Tapper for you, like you asked. And he wanted me to tell you something."

I straightened up, and my heart sort of skipped a beat. "...Oh. What did he say?"

"A couple things. He's, uh… well, he's real happy to hear you're getting help. He wants to congratulate you for that. You've got his full support, he said. It meant a lot to hear that you've been doing well, because you've been on his mind. He thinks about you all the time."

I didn't know what to say or how to react. It was a lot to take in. I had sort of made my peace with him hating me after everything I did, so to hear that he still cared about me was… a relief so acute that it sort of broke my heart. 

I barely had time to process it all before Ralph revealed the true hard-hitter.

"In fact, uh," he said, "he'd been thinking of you so much that he… made something for you. He told me to give it to you right away, because… I dunno, he said you seemed ready for it."

Then he reached into the chest of his overalls and pulled out a square picture frame. I was confused at first, but once he handed it to me and I saw what it was, my heart stopped.

Inside the frame were napkins from his bar. Four of them, arranged in a neat square. And on those napkins were… drawings. Two of them were clear, loving depictions of you that I didn't even remember drawing. And on the other two were doodles that you and I had done together. Unflattering, playful caricatures of each other. Our drawing styles could not have been more different -- mine being fluid and organic and yours being clean-cut contour line drawings, but somehow, they worked so well together. The fragile paper was slightly ripped in places from the pens we used, and there were small sections where the ink bled from mug-shaped rings of moisture. All in all, it was a chaotic, dirty mess.

It was us. 

It was us at our very happiest moments, just goofing off together, adoring each other without ever needing to say it.

It was the most beautiful gift I'd ever received.

Struck silent by a wall of emotion, I just held it and stared at it in utter disbelief. The fact that Tapper would have cared enough to save such simple things was more than I could comprehend. The drawings could have been years old by then, but still…

It wasn't until my tears fell and splashed against the frame that I even realized I'd been crying.

"Oh," Ralph whispered, a bit of panic in his voice. "Mavis. Crying. Uh-- I'm-- I'm sorry. I didn't want you to-- I'm--"

His hands hovered around me hesitantly, completely lost as to how to comfort me. But he didn't have to decide. I felt an urge and followed it immediately.

I just reached out and took one of his huge, square fingers in my hand, even though his heavy code burned a bit to touch. He froze, rightfully taken aback. I didn't explain. I just stepped a bit closer so that he would not have to reach out to me quite so far, hugged the frame to my chest with my other arm, and bowed my head while I wept silently. Ralph said nothing, but I felt his arm relax a bit once he accepted the situation.

Eventually, I pushed a few quivering words out. "Thank you," I muttered. I looked the gift over once again. "I… I can't believe this."

"So you like it?" he asked quietly.

I could only nod.

"I'll pass that on to Tapper, then," he sighed, but I could hear a smile in his voice. "Gee, I'm just a nine-foot-tall messenger boy, aren't I?"

"Thank-- thank you," I choked out again.

"Nah… it's nothin'," he shrugged.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from the gift in my hand. It was so perfect. It felt like everything I needed. Like it was the one thing that was missing in my road to recovery. That feeling in itself stood out to me, and I followed it through my mind. Apart from all the staggering sentimental value, there was something about Tapper's gesture that felt so empathetic, so validating, like he was acknowledging that I lost something wonderful, something worth mourning. It was the first thing anyone had given me, or the first thing anyone made at all, that honored your memory.

Then it hit me. The thing that was missing. The thing I would absolutely need if I had any hope of moving on.

I let go of Ralph's hand and burst through the door of Felix's apartment. He had gone back to polishing his medals, but he quite nearly dropped one when he saw the tears on my face.

"Mavy? What--"

I interrupted him, trying to keep up with my rush of clarity. "Felix," I said urgently, "I need your help. There's something I need from you. I know what I need."

He stood, approaching me with concern in his eyes.

"I need a funeral for Turbo," I said firmly. "A real one. It doesn't have to be big. In fact, it'll probably be just the three of us," I glanced back at Ralph, who was bending down once again, "but that'll be fine. It just needs to happen. Please."

I looked at Felix again, and his eyes were full of understanding, sympathy, and love.

"Then we'll do it," he said gently.

"Yeah," I heard Ralph say. "Count me in."

I choked out a single, grateful laugh. "Thank you."

We began planning right away.

It's happening tomorrow.

#fanfiction #fanfic #wreck it ralph #fix it felix #make it mavis #tapper #turbo #original character #homesick

[dawniebb]

Closure pt. 2

Uhm...due to personal reasons (lmao) this was supposed to be a marathon, but I’ll just...yeah. I’ll just leave the second part right here and I hope you like it. As I explained in the last one, this is from the canon divergence I share with @healing-winston-pratt and it’s a series of fics about grief, basically.

You can read the Georgia chapter (”I Kill Giants”) here

And this is the Evander chapter, so this is all the background you need;

Evander’s wife, Sandra Wade.

Sandra and Arthur’s portrait: https://healing-winston-pratt.tumblr.com/post/626983013669044224/sandra-obrien-wade-and-arthur-evander-wade

Tag list: @novadreamer95438  @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff @obsidianfr3sk @novas-tunnel-of-anxiety

Evander

Lay Me Down

You told me not to cry when you were gone But the feeling's overwhelming, it's much too strong Can I lay by your side, next to you, you?

“Sandy, please… “

“No, dad. I need to see him. I need to… “

Sandra Wade stopped in the middle of her sentence, as a bush of red hair caught her eye. However, those were curls instead of straight hair, which meant that, indeed, that wasn’t her husband.

That wasn’t Evander Wade. Renegade. Husband. Dad to be.

After the explosion or… whatever that thing had been, that gave powers to everyone in the world, right after the sudden lift of the city, the telephone lines and television lines had stopped working, which had caused her to go uncommunicated.

A Renegade wife who, if that weren’t bad enough on its own, was also pregnant, completely unable to contact her husband.

She had no way to know where he was, because even his location device had been disconnected at some point, leaving the last trace of Evander at the Arena.

It was the morning after three consecutive disasters.

1: The terrorist attack to the Arena.

2: The lift of the city.

3: The explosion Sandra refused to call a supernova like everyone else was doing because…

Where the heck had they gotten a star from?

Maybe she was just stressed and the pregnancy hormones were playing tricks on her, but she couldn’t help but think about how people were willing to come up with every ridiculous thing possible just to spice things up.

It wasn’t funny.

Nor was it spectacular.

It was mean. And cruel. And Sandra couldn’t stand listening to them, just like she couldn’t stand listening to the rest of her family telling her to stop, because worrying so much was going to hurt the baby.

That wasn’t a nice thing to say to a worried person. And if she was only worried before, now she was in a frantic state, distraught, as her step-dad drove her through the city, while she analyzed every tall, red-haired man with clothes that looked even vaguely similar to Blacklight’s.

The access of cars to the streets was restricted, but that didn’t stop Dad, telling the patrol units he was driving a pregnant woman. Just because this was an emergency. He wouldn’t have done it under different circumstances.

The city, on the other hand, looked pretty good for having been lifted, because people also wanted her to believe Simon and Hugh’s youngest son had been able to fix the mess.

Sandra refused to believe any of it, for the sake of not wanting to believe it; given that he had such a dangerous job, Evander had always advised her to be prepared for the worst; ever since they had gotten married.

However, when he left for the public execution and exposition of Agent N at the Arena, he promised he would come back, and Sandra recalled it perfectly because he was touching her belly, he said:

“See you in a few hours, Sandy.”

And he sealed that promise with a kiss.

Now, Sandra didn’t agree with that execution, because…maybe executions were something that shouldn’t be shown to the public. But she knew that Evander had to attend. After all, he was part of the Renegade Council…and, again, he had promised he would come back.

And that was a hundred times more valuable and meaningful than a tasteless and empty threat about how someday the worst would happen.

Evander promised he would come back in a few hours, which meant he had to be alive.

Maybe he was just busy.

Maybe he was running late.

Maybe he was looking for a payphone that would, for some reason, work and allow him to contact her (and that was the reason why she was keeping her cellphone close).

He would come.

He would come back.

He would be with her during the birth, because he knew how scared Sandra was of labor pain, and because he knew they weren’t getting a C-section because the only thing Sandra feared more than labor pain was being conscious while somebody ripped her skin open.

Evander wouldn’t leave her alone in this, would he?

He wouldn’t. He promised he wouldn’t, so now he had to come back.

He had to meet his baby.

Evander had to come home.

He couldn’t leave her.

He couldn’t…

“Sandra, please… “

Hugh Everhart’s hands were on her arms, though Sandra couldn’t recall having entered the Headquarters. Maybe it was the fact she had grown to know those hallways very well, and she had come to a point where she just navigated through them by routine.

Besides, Evander was his husband.

Hugh had no right to stop her from coming in.

“Sandra, stop. Please.”

“I need to… “

“Sandy. “

“GET OUT OF MY WAY, HUGH! I NEED TO SEE HIM! “

He…

He was alive.

It couldn’t had happened any other way.

Evander knew.

Evander knew he had to stay alive for her. He had to stay alive for little unborn Arthur, his son. He had to stay alive for himself.

He was young.

He was healthy.

He had so much to give.

So much to live.

So much to go through still.

So many family vacations.

So many sleepless nights and rainy afternoons.

He had so much love to give yet.

He had promised it.

He had said it in his vows, that they would be one forever, and that they would have 4 children because that was what they had agreed when they were dating.

They had to get pregnant 3 more times. And he had to see them grow, inside and outside of Sandra’s womb.

“Take me to him. I need to see him.” Sandra begged, and she saw Hugh’s whole brave, unbreakable facade become small, surrendering to her pleading.

But surrender for him didn’t mean moving.

Hugh Everhart didn’t take her anywhere, nor did he speak and, for a moment, he didn’t even breathed.

And at the same time, he said everything he had to say, until there was nothing left, and Sandra stepped backwards, her body falling into Dad’s arms, who held her by the shoulders, as she held her belly so tightly she almost felt she was touching Arthur through layers and layers of skin.

“No.”

“… I’m sorry, Sandra. “

“No. “

He had promised.

He had promised he would come back.

He had promised to hold her hand while she was in pain.

He had promised to hold their baby.

He had promised he would stay alive and they would love each other as long as they could, until they were old and sick.

Evander had promised he would come back.

But he wouldn’t.

Evander was gone.

And through all that madness, Sandra kept stepping backwards and backwards and backwards, until Dad managed to stop her.

So then she tried to fall on her knees, but they stopped again.

So she screamed.

And no one, no one dared to stop her from doing that.

-.-

Sandra kept screaming almost every day for a whole month after Evander’s passing; after a funeral she refused to attend, surrounded by a pile of yellow folders full of papers she was yet to sign.

She screamed for so long, she didn’t even had to be convincing to cloak her labor screams with grief.

By the time Kasumi Hasegawa arrived to the house and broke into her room after a distressed call from Sandra’s parents, he was already there.

Arthur had been sleeping on Sandra’s chest for over an hour when Kasumi Hasegawa found both of them in the bathroom floor, where Sandra had given birth to him leaned against the bathtub.

Yet, the only thing she could say as her numb eyes met Kasumi’s terrified ones, was:

“I should’ve gone to the hospital.”

Kasumi agreed with that, because she did force her to go to the hospital afterwards, where she was put on some medications and stitches while, fortunately, Arthur was declared to be healthy.

Sandra didn’t hold him at first. Not really. Because her arms were too tired from holding him for an hour, and her mind was too tired to do anything at all.

The rest of the Council came to visit, of course, and they kept telling her how handsome that baby was until she politely asked them to shut up.

For the first 3 days, her family did the mothering… which, she liked to call it like that because the baby had no father.

It wasn’t until later, when they begged her to give herself and her baby a second opportunity, because the baby wasn’t reacting well to formula milk and, apparently, was missing his mother’s presence.

“We all lost him.” Kasumi told her.

“But you get to have what’s left of him… and he, conveniently, has his eyes. “

And, yes, indeed, Arthur had Evander’s eyes.

So bright and grey.

And things were what they were.

The moment Sandra agreed to hold him, she got to experience the love she had felt growing inside of her for 9 months.

When Evander broke his promise and never came back, Sandra and Arthur were left with each other.

The tragedy of the circumstances would chase her for years, which was something she was aware and willing to accept.

But when he left, Arthur stayed here, as a reminder there was ever somebody named Evander Wade, and this child represented the love he had felt towards someone at some point.

And Sandra loved him, because even if it hadn’t been so, he was perfect on his own, with his tiny hands, tiny legs and tiny everything.

Someday, he would understand his father had left his side not because he wanted to, but because it had happened like that.

In the meantime, Sandra would make sure Arthur knew he had her.

Maybe her heart would forever be missing the part Evander had taken with him.

However, it was still beating.

And she still had two arms that could perfectly cradle a baby.

#renegades trilogy #marissa meyer #renegades #archenemies #supernova #supernova spoilers #renegades ocs #original characters #closure series #sandra wade #arthur wade #evander wade #blacklight #hugh everhart #captain chromium #kasumi hasegawa #tsunami #i doubt this will get any notes because it's about Evander #but i must clarify this is my headcanon Evander #so pls be respectful :')

[name-me-regret]

If The World Was Ending 4/?

If The World Was Ending Chapter Four: Los Angeles, I’m Yours

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“There is a city by the sea A gentle company I don't suppose you want to?

And as it tells its sorry tale In harrowing detail Its hollowness will haunt you

Its streets and boulevards Orphans and oligarchs A plaintive melody Truncated symphony. An ocean's garbled vomit on the shore Los Angeles, I'm yours...”

~ Los Angeles, I'm Yours - The Decemberists

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

‘Hey, Buck, it’s me. I just want you to tell Christopher I’ll be a little late picking him up, got our hands full here. It’s a good thing you’re missing it. Hope you guys are having fun.’

Buck was exhausted and lightheaded, but constantly looking for the boy with curls and a smile bright enough to light up a room. “Hey! There’s a kid under here!” a woman yelled.

“Christopher?” he exclaims, desperately clinging to any hope that it’s the little boy he’s looking for. “Hey! Hey, guys!” He hurries over, water sloshing around his legs and the Chris’s glasses hanging around his neck. “Hey, hey, big guy! Me and you, come on!” A man that’s almost four inches taller than him (which is impressive since he’s 6’2, hurries to help him. “All right, three, two, one. Go!”

They lift the heavy sign off the child, and as the others cheer and help them stand up, his hope is crushed when he sees it’s a twelve year old girl, not Christopher. The woman consoles the crying girl and Buck sighs in deep seeded exhaustion.

When someone says they might have seen Christopher at a Cupcakery on Strand, he forgets his fatigue and is moving again. He’s so wrapped up in wanting to find Chris and already numb, that he doesn’t notice that the edge of the sign has cut his arm pretty deeply.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Tony landed at a gas station, the water having receded, but the debris has done damage to the pumps and some were leaking. After pushing the emergency shut off button, he called it in and put up caution tape he’d snagged from a Home Depot store blocking off the driveway. Hopefully people would stay away, since there was a lot of spilled gas.

“Iron Man, there’s a fire at a Shell Gas Station on West Century Blvd,” he heard a woman’s voice from dispatch. He had just gotten back in the air as the call came in, heading toward the areas still heavily flooded with water. He was about to go put that fire out but saw a little boy in a yellow t-shirt sitting on top a car. “J, put out that fire out, I have eyes on a child in need of rescuing.”

He swooped down as the boy lifted his eyes to the sky, his small face covered in mud but looking relatively unharmed. Tony landed next to the car, making sure not to land too hard and risk upsetting the water and possibly knocking him over. “Hey, buddy,” he said, the faceplate lifting up.

“You’re Iron Man,” he said with a bright smile that made Tony smile as well.

“I sure am, what’s your name?”

“I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” he told him, making Tony grin again. He had an adorable lisp, and it made his heart melt. Despite what they said about him, he liked kids. It’s just that he feared turning out like Howard and messing up the life of an innocent child that made him never want to become a dad.

“That’s true and your mom and dad are smart for having taught you that.” He could tell he was having a hard time keeping his head up, and he didn’t think it was from fatigue. Maybe a disability.

“My mom... she’s gone,” he told Tony with a sad, quiet voice.

“Well, my mom is gone too, and my dad.” He sat on the front of the car, and besides shifting a bit, it didn’t move too much under the weight of the armor. “It’s okay to be sad, you know?” The kid nodded, squinting at his face. “How about this, my name is Tony. Now you know my name, besides being Iron Man. Is it okay to give me your name now? Or your dad‘s name?”

“I’m Chris,” he finally said.

“Alright, well, let’s get you to the nearest hospital, Chris. The nice people there will make sure you’re not hurt and get you home, okay?” He reached out and gently picked him up, the kid gripping his shoulders a bit clumsily.

When Tony took to the air, he made sure not to go too fast. If he did, he might hurt Chris and that’s the last thing he wanted. That meant it was slow going, but it also allowed him to hear Chris as he cried out joyfully at flying.

Tony smiled at his resilience, and was sure Chris was going to be alright.

The man took him to the field hospital they’d set up at the decommissioned VA hospital on Sawtelle, handing him over to a nurse, who was in charge of the kids; getting their names and the names of their family to reunite them later. “Stay strong, kid,” he told him. “I’m sure your dad will find you soon.”

“Bye, Tony,” Chris said as he waved at him as he was carried away.

“Cute kid,” he hummed, before blasting back into the air despite his tiredness to continue helping more people.

That’s how he spent the rest of the day, putting out fires and rescuing anyone that was trapped or stranded, and unfortunately finding a lot of corpses in the water. He hated to move on after tagging them, but there were other, living people that needed him. Tony nearly lost it when he found a drowned infant and he couldn’t just leave her, cradling the tiny body in his arms and carrying her to the nearest hospital.

He had to take a break then before he fell apart completely, stepping out of the suit for the first time in several hours. There were several relief workers also taking a break and he sat with them as they welcomed him and tried to hand him some rations. “I uh...” he hesitated, fighting back a full body shudder that went through him as memories of being poisoned as a child filled his head. He’d taught himself never to take anything that was handed to him ever again. “I don’t... like to be handed things,” he finally managed to say.

The woman, a few years older than him, smiled and nodded, setting the rations down on the seat next to him. Tony was grateful, since he usually got derisive looks or sneers from people that thought Tony was just a stuck up rich person. The woman’s eyes were kind, and maybe she saw that it was from a trauma, or maybe she didn’t. He was just grateful when she made no comment.

After a moment, he grabbed the rations and the bottle of lukewarm water. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d eaten, so he scarfed down the dry protein bar and chugged the bottle of water. The sun was starting to sink as they shot the breeze, Tony making a note to set up a relief fund for not only the people affected by the tsunami, but also the ones working tirelessly to help those in need.

It was almost half an hour after sunset that he stood and bade them farewell, stepping into his suit and going off to help once again. He was sore and exhausted, but there were so many people still out there that needed someone. If he had to, he’d be that someone. Although, he figured after an hour or two he’d take a longer break, and maybe drop by Evan’s house to finally reassure himself of his safety.

As he was flying over Oceanside, he heard Captain Nash calling for medical transportation for 17 people, recognizing his voice almost immediately. He wouldn’t be able to carry that many, but maybe he could help. As he touched down, he scanned the area and immediately saw the downed light post, sparks flying from it, and even more alarming is when JARVIS indicated the leaking gasoline truck. Bobby immediately hurried over to him as soon as he landed. “Tony, we could really use your help,” the man says.

He wasn’t sure what he could do to help, but he could see the strain on his face, both from worry and fatigue from a long day working, so Tony would do what he could. “If it’s within my capabilities, then I’ll do what I can, Cap,” he told him. The man usually liked to work on his own if he wasn’t with Rhodey, the Avengers having been a one hit wonder that hadn’t panned anything. After all, no one had come to help him when the Mandarin had destroyed his house and he’d been presumed dead. However, it was different with Nash and his people. They all looked dirty and tired, having been working all day. The crew of the 118, and a lot more other rescue personnel had been working tirelessly to save people, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to help them when they asked for his help. He motioned toward the light post. “I imagine it has to do with that Sword of Damocles over there? And the truck leaking gasoline?”

Bobby was momentarily surprised, but shook it off before he nodded. “Yes... you know, one of my men called it just that.”

Tony smirked. “I‘ll have to meet him when we aren’t sitting on a potential explosion that could kill everyone here.”

The Captain nodded. “Well, I’ve sent two of my firefighters to acquire some vehicles, but I would feel so much better if the gasoline could possibly be neutralized.”

His mind was going a mile of minute, wondering if it would be better to douse the gasoline with kitty litter, or try and move the lamp post up and out of the way. Tony must have been talking out loud without realizing it, meaning he was more tired than he thought.

“Wait, are you sure you won’t get electrocuted?” Bobby knew the man was a superhero, and had faced many dangers, which included terrorists and even aliens. However, he wasn’t invincible, and he was just as human as Bobby was underneath his high-tech suit.

“Not to worry, Cap my suit once took a hit from Thor’s lighting and I’m still here. I’ve had 36 suit upgrades since then,” he said with a smile. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“Famous last words,” the man said with a strained smile.

“Bobby, are you making a joke about my possible potential death?” he asked with mock shock, then gave him a wink as the face plate snapped closed before the man could respond. He flew toward the lamp post, grunting as he felt the shock of the electricity surge through the suit. It wasn’t as bad as when Thor had blasted him, but it was constant until he lifted the lamp post and away a bit.

‘Power at four hundred percent capacity,’ JARVIS intoned like deja vu.

Tony chuckled as he moved away from the light post, the thrusters in his boots keeping him in the air and not touching the gasoline that had already spread this far. He gave the thrusters more power as he went higher into the air. “J, give me the location of the nearest pet shop.” Tony figured that the best thing to do was bury it in non-flammable kitty litter and hope for the best.

“Alright, Cap, I’ve bought you some time, but try and hurry your men,” he told him over the frequency. He hadn’t seen Diaz among them, so perhaps he was one of the ones that had gone to get some form of transportation.

He flew there as fast as he could, knowing the others were on borrowed time. The window of the PetSmart he arrived at had it’s glass doors still intact. “Remind me to pay for these doors, J,” he said as he crashed through them in a rain of glass shards and metal. He went to the cat’s section, and the lights were out but he had flood lights on his suit, and night vision on his HUD. Tony yanked a shopping cart along and started to pile inside several bags of kitty litter, as much as would fit inside the cart. He rolled it outside and then hurried over next door to the hardware store,. “I hope they don’t try to arrest me for looting.” He grabbed two tubes of sealant that he put in a bag and dumped it into the shopping cart, making another note to pay for everything he was taking. “Next time I’m going to aim for a Sam’s or a Costco,” he sighed, lifting the cart.

It was harder to fly back at high speeds without losing the kitty liter, but he managed without dropping a single bag. He cursed when he saw that the lamp post had fallen despite his best efforts, the sparks making the gasoline catch fire, and he dropped the cart. Tony didn’t want to move the post again, so he grabbed one of the ten pounds bags and tore it open before he upended it over the flames. This particular brand was made from bentonite clay, which meant it wasn’t flammable. He managed to douse the flames with a second and third bag, but to make sure it didn’t catch fire anytime soon, he used every single bag to spread it over most of the area around the lamp post. He also got the sealant and after managing to lift the truck at an angle where the gas wasn’t spilling, used both tubes of the white plaster like sealant so make sure no more would spill. When that was done and he carefully set it back down, waited a moment to make sure it wasn’t still spilling, and then used the caution tape someone had left behind to wrap around the whole area. Just to be sure.

He saw the firefighters of the 118 loading the patients into what appeared to be mail trucks and was amused. “Alright, Cap, threat neutralized for now, but I suggest you double time it out of here,” he told him. He knew that neither he or Bobby were military, but he remembered that the guy with the nametag Diaz had a military bearing to his movements. If he hadn’t served, then he’d eat his own helmet.

“Thank you for your help, Iron Man,” he radioed back.

“Neither rain, nor snow, nor tsunami, Captain Nash,” he joked.

He heard a groan on the other end. “I hope you and Chimney never meet and become friends,” a woman’s voice said over the radio.

Tony chuckled to himself as he continued on. As he went over the city where no lights were on except the occasional fire, he felt his eyesight go dark. If it wasn’t for JARVIS taking over, he’d have crashed, and as it was, he was disoriented as he came back around, and realized that he’d fallen asleep mid-flight.

Well, he guessed it was time for that break he promised himself, and changed course toward Evan’s house. Tony didn’t have many actual friends, since people always wanted him for either money, fame, or in the case of Sunset, to steal SI prototypes. So, wanted to make sure one of the few friends he had was fine, since he wouldn’t deny that he’d been thinking about him ever since this morning.

So, he was looking forward to seeing his friend face to face after all these years.-

#Evan Buckley #Tony Stark #Eddie Diaz #Bobby Nash #Chimney Han #Hen Wilson #9-1-1 #9-1-1 Fox #regret writes #regret fanfiction #myfanfiction #fanfiction #Crossover fanfiction #Buddie #Buddie (eventually) #maybe #Evan Buckley/Tony Stark #Evan Buckley x Tony Stark #Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz #Past Evan Buckley x Abby Clark #Past Tony Stark x Pepper Potts #Past Tony Stark x Evan Buckley #Iron Man #Marvel Cinematic Universe #The Avengers #Marvel #Fox TV Shows #If The World Was Ending #Crossing The Divide series