#extra high low

[jrueships]

the monthly apathy is back, rlly sorry if i said smthing to u and then u say smthing back and i don't respond for like a thousand years only to spam u after it passes and then u respond bcs ure awesome and i go on an unspoken vow of silence for yet another thousand years and the cycle just continues

#hard to will myself to just brush my teeth #it's so fucking annoying having these highs and lows and never a middleground bcs it's like #which one is actually me?? #i feel like none of them are really #when im feeling high energy i act extra confident and funny showman #but as soon as i stop i just feel huge regret and embarrassment over it #but im also so lifeless and feel like i can only say a lot if it's abt smthing negative bcs i can feel more deeply when im low #but it's only abt dark intense stuff #and when im in my highs i just dont have the attention span to care abt deep anything #it's like im either soaring in the sky or drowning in the sea #im never just On Land #like i cant just enjoy Earth #it's so fucking aggravating #' i would love to have high energy highs tho bcs i would be able to get sooo much done' #yea. it seems like a lot. until u realize it's literally just flighty-ass attempts at catching up on being a half human #trying to do all the stupid shit u somehow found aggravating difficult to even think abt doing during 1 of ur lows #like . why am i having to try and make a mental note to myself on... responding to. compliments. #when im in a higher energy mood #like. why cant i just #ARGGHEHHHHHHHRHRHHRHRRRR #anyways yea srry abt all the asks piling up and then me asking for more anyways and all the texts on read

[kirstydreaming]

Jessica Buch for Coletteformoncherie

#Jessica Buch #evening dress #floral appliqué #coletteformoncherie #CL18217 #high low dress #beautiful model #pretty dress #high resolution #extra high resolution #myedit #delogoed #kirstydreaming

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all another "I suspect this is atypical but idk how atypical" question, this time about blood sugar! Okay, maybe a few questions

if your blood sugar is in the fasting blood sugar range, but you aren't fasting, does that count as low blood sugar?

2. Is it normal to have low blood sugar symptoms at not-technically-low-blood-sugar levels (today, 93)? Like, especially when it's that way when you have not been fasting, but also in general

3. How do you word "hey doc my records say you took my blood sugar when I was fasting, but I wasn't fasting. That was like an hour, hour and a half after lunch and I'd downed half a gatorade before I walked into the office and my blood sugar was in the 80s. Is that...maybe...a problem? That it's happened twice?" in a way doctors will care about?

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #I make sure I have protein and complex carbs and eat smaller meals more frequently #but - wait I think I figured it out #well. why it's happening again now not why it happens in general #usually I have this under control but after I have an allergy flareup I'll be off kilter for days to weeks #depending on the severity of the allergic reaction #but like three times in the last two days I've been on the edge of a stress-induced allergic reaction and haven't needed a benadryl #so maybe it got close enough to disturb my blood sugar??? #my endocrine system is all fucked up and I know that can impact blood sugar #fun side effect I only figured out a week or two ago: #apparently sometimes low blood sugar can trigger a release of some adrenaline #which I did not know because my body kinda...did not have any extra adrenaline #but now I am on corticosteroids so I DO have some reserves #and it means I get high blood pressure when I get lowish blood sugar which has not happened for me in the past #so that's. something. probably good??? to be able to have noticeable adrenaline reactions to things???? but not fun

[asleepinawell]

me sending my character with level 7 nightmares to hunter's keep like why don't you listen to some violin music and then maybe you'll calm down bitch

#fallen london #flmp #mp #it's a decent option for low level posi when you just do not want to spend echoes #and have a high laudanum usage penalty #it gets you some resources too so it's not a bad option despite the extra actions

[trans-xianxian]

I'm enjoying the fontaine storyline so far I feel like it's progressing the plot forward a good amount and we're getting some rlly cool and important lore info but I Am sort of like. can we solve an insane crisis now. can we have a boss fight please. I enjoy that we're learning a bunch of stuff but it feels like we're Only learning a bunch of stuff and not actually Doing anything of monumental plot importance we're just sort of watching all of the other characters do it

#like I enjoyed the newest archon quest a lot it was great it kept me engaged!!! but also we didn't do anything #like we weren't even there to help fix the water thing because we were sitting silently watching arlechino interrogate furina??? #everything we've done so far in fontaine feels very idle #the trial last patch was so low stakes in like. the grand scheme of things and just served as world building/an elaborate lore drop #most of the archon quest this patch was investigating childe #and then when the big high stakes thing Did happen we weren't even really there for the important part #we did nothing at the tea party w arlechino and furina except watch it happen #and again I'm enjoying it!! we're learning a lot and thats rlly cool!! important world and character information is being gained!!! #but we aren't Doing anything or Solving any problems like we did in other nations #and I guess its sort of a nice break? but doing random tasks while watching Other characters fix the crisis is sort of getting old #like I think fontaine has had some of the best written storyline thus far #I just want to actually participate in something of real significance to the world or nation as a whole #hopefully they are just doing like. a fuck ton of exposition for The Big Crisis and its gonna feel extra important #but like. chop chop #never thought I'd actually be Asking for a boss fight 😭 #ghost posts #text #genshin

[milkweedman]

ah, the ever-more-frequent Urge To Explode My Brain from unending migraines. a migraine that just lasts the day already sucks so bad. whole day is gone in a blur of pain and misery, right ? a migraine that lasts multiple days is sort of like if hell was real and you were in it. time has no meaning, only pain, etc.

months of migraines... with no break or end or effective treatment and also you still have to work and behave like a normal person because you cannot lie in bed for months not paying rent. well id describe it you but ive fucking lost the plot. its gone on so long and its so bad that when the migraine ISN'T at its peaking on the pain scale and making me feel like if i was hit by a truck that would be an improvement, i start to feel like my head is a vestigial organ that has been removed. cant access sensation in my head and it feels literally disconnected from my body. meanwhile the pain is still there (along with the brain fog, vertigo, nausea, etc) but it feels like its happening to somebody else.

#im kind of impressed that i can at this point carry a normal conversation (as good as i ever can. which is bad but irrelevant) #while being in agony and having been in agony for as long as i can remember #usually also with something dislocated just for some extra fun #because what i actually feel like doing 100% of the time is lighting myself on fire and/or screaming forever until i die #however thats the kind of shit that puts you in the psych ward again #so i am. smiling and making small talk while migraine auras wash out my vision and i try not to visibly dry heave #its really really really fucking bad. all the time so fucking bad. #i need to message my neurologist but likelihood of me doing that is low #because 1) the stuff she's put me on has so far done nothing but add intolerable side effects to the hell that i am already existing in #and 2) its fucking hard to do anything. even the bare minimum im not doing. so extra shit is just. not happening #i want to scream. #i am gonna. go for a walk and smoke a cigarette instead and then get really high because at least then i dont really care #the auras are making it really hard to see though. theyre like bleach all over my vision. just this wash of white #hhh. #chronic illness #chronic migraine #and its like. when my knee also gives out and it feels like theres metal in there slicing everything up with each tiny movement #or any of the other one million goddamn things broken in my body #i end up so overwhelmed by pain that i just want to lay on the floor and cry #at which point everyone around me gets mad that im not being productive and im costing them money and im not good enough #like ok kill me then. cheaper for you happier for me. just get a heavy object and go to town i would thank you for it #but i cant even say that because openly expressing suicidality just makes people angrier #im rapidly running out of fucks to give but also i will do anything to avoid returning to the psych ward #literally anything. morals out the window. i dont give a shit. #so its a catch-22. #vent

[rig-a-rendal]

at least we have the low road

#there's an old celtic belief that when someone dies in a foreign land their soul returns to scotland via the “low road” of death #hence loch lomond's “you'll take the high road and I'll take the low” #noura's extra personal tag

[sanguith]

i'm glad i decided to try out a ketosis diet again (aka changing my metabolism to basically only use ketone bodies made from fatty acids for energy by reducing carb intake to max 20g/day) for a few weeks because it was a neat experiment but i'm also glad I decided to stop because now i get to enjoy life's greatest fucking simplest yet finest delicacy: mashed potatoes/sweet potatoes with melted butter and salt. i cannot understand how i could live without that. just. vegetables. keto has opened my eyes to new ways to cook foods and experiment with ingredients but i don't think i can live without carbs. i doubt that the majority of people could. also have you any idea how much good simple near-zero effort food there is out there like holy gosh darn in heaven. i don't have to spend hours cooking something to have a nice meal

#food mention #diets #actually anything carb with butter and salt. how can it be so good. call me a lazy goob but i once just microwaved corn and butter #added salt. and it was the most delicious fuckin thing ive ever eaten #i've done low-carb in the past and tried keto a few times and always it felt so great after the keto flu disappeared after a few days #but this time the keto flu did not go away. i felt so weak and awful but at the same time i had less brain fog. and never felt hungry. #but it was werid. i think it might have been because i've been kinda high carb for the last few years and the change was so strong & sudden #also electrolyte imbalances can happen on keto if you're not careful. it's complex. #anyway it got me to eat a bit healthier like (almost) completely avoiding processed foods and unnaturally high sugary stuff #which i just want to generally avoid for personal health reasons which is a whole can of worms but i just dont want to overindulge #sure i can eat an entire bag of candies or chips in an evening if i feel like it but I *feel* my body just being like “nooo” and sure enoug #the next morning i do feel a little bit extra like shit #and another thing: i think i benefit from abrupt diet changes now and then. it feels natural in a way. ye olde scavenger hunter genetics #ya know. our nomadic ancestors would probably have to do that a lot when things weren't year-round available #sometimes only meat for months on end in cold seasons/areas #sometimes basically only plants and nuts roots and seeds and stuff #it's actually remarkable how human metabolism can adapt so much depending on what's available to eat #sometimes fasting for days when food was just nowhere to be found. #i'm not saying “stress your metabolic system it's good for you'” (it probably isnt) just idk. mixing it up a bit at least works for me #btw disclaimer i HATE the whole thing about diet-pressuring and some people claiming that certain diets will solve everything #it doesn't solve all health problems magically. ”"”superfoods“”“ are not a 100% faultless scientifically proven thing. #shit like ''the paleo diet is the number one key to optimal health without medications!!'' no. shut. #on the other hand i do believe diets can help a bit like a nudge. it's just one factor out of many that affects how we feel #ANYWAY conclusion: eat what you want. do what feels right for you. find your own ways to make the food you eat help your health a bit #or don't! be yourself! love yourself! #the chosen method is gonna be different for everybody #but from now on im gonna try and eat as close to natural unprocessed foods as I can in this day and age. it feels right for me somehow. #i think *my* preferred method/diet whatever is to mainly eat natural unprocessed foods and to mix it up a bit now and then with change #for that sweet ''METABOLIC ADAPTATION'' perk that feels good for me #(why did this post become so long. nobody cares. anyway i don't care if nobody cares. i care. *I* care!!! wooopp)

[random2908]

My boss caught me alone on Friday and asked if I'd like a new side project.

I said this side project wasn't something I knew how to do, but that I was willing to learn. And that it was my understanding that physicists with the skill set for a project like this were very rare and in very high demand, and it would therefore probably be of benefit to the company to give me the time to learn to do this task. But that it would take time. He agreed, he would like to have an employee who could merge physics knowledge with this skill set, but it would take time.

He then said, what if I supervised a new-ish hire--who was hired for this exact skill set, but who isn't a physicist--instead? He went on to explain that the new hire was having trouble following directions, so he wanted to put him on a new project with a new supervisor, to give him a fresh start (possibly a last chance situation, but he didn't quite say that). And because he was having problems with following directions, and because he was not a physicist and this, ultimately, is a physics project, I would need to closely supervise him.

So, uh, that's a very different assignment. And admittedly my first thought was, "oh no, not again," because I think this is the third time in my career something like this has happened to me, where I've been handed a problem employee as a last resort, and it's never gone well.

Anyway, I said that in order to do a close supervision, I'd probably still have to learn the skill set myself to some degree, just to be able to answer questions and know what he was doing. (One time, in a similar situation, I didn't learn the skill set that my subordinate was supposed to be using, and it went especially poorly. But I didn't say that--best not to talk about my past failures.) At the end of the conversation, it seemed like my boss and I were in agreement that that's what we would try.

So, we'll see how this goes...

#definitely one of the previous times this happened to me was because I was a woman and the boss thought #that the female supervisor might get more out of an employee than the male supervisor had been able to #(and I did get more out of him in the sense that 'a tiny bit' is more than 'nothing' but yeah he got fired the moment I complained) #one time it was that I and a coworker swapped problem-employees in the hopes that a fresh start would help everyone #(it actually kinda worked! but it also showed where the intractable problems were) #one time it was someone who wasn't even really supposed to need a supervisor between him and the actual boss but I had to step in #I would say that was the most successful case in that my intervention gave him an extra year or more before he was fired #(he was fired pretty quickly after I left that job though when it turned out he couldn't do anything right without supervision) #anyway in this case there's another employee at the company with this skill set #the reason he's not being given this project is because it's low priority and he's got a zillion high-priority projects #and also he's at least 70 and might retire any day #and I think he has like less than zero interest in supervising anyone ever #but I'm going to consult with him sometime next week on where to even start so at least I have that

[verygayandverytired]

i finished making this entire insane and pointless overanalysis of loki’s magic tarot cards from bayonetta 2 last night

and today i was finally able to preorder bayo 3 trinity masquerade edition

obviously these events are directly connected

#bayonetta #its horribly formatted and my analyses for the first like half sucked #and all my info on each tarot card was just snatched from wikipedia #but by god i did it #i'm pretty sure most of these don't even appear ingame #the cards loki uses to erase the eyes are: judgement the empress the emperor the world and wheel of fortune #sadly i had to use low res images because high quality versions either don't exist or hhaven't been ripped from the game and posted online #i spent like 12 hours on this for some reason #fun fact each card is actually properly numbered using a special numeral system consisting mostly of triangles #the numerals are on all the tag climax cards too #they're weird to figure out at first but once i got a grip on it it was surprisingly simple #after figuring the system out i then numbered all of the tag climax cards by memory #the only card i couldn't number was rodin #the symbols on his card don't fit the pattern of the rest #since there's 53 cards and his can't be numbered i guess he's the joker of the deck #sadly the rest of the cards aren't evenly divided into four suits of 13 so you can't just use them as playing cards without extra work

[torsamors]

i truly love card games even tho my family is so competitive i leave a game feeling like crying a decent chunk of the time. but thats just the price u pay etc etc

#the epic highs and lows of family card games #ALSO CHEATING AT CARD GAMES??? elite. #the thing w cheating at cards and games is that. u have to make very obvious almost joke-y cheating moves and get caught #and that way ppl assume ur just bad at it and dnt notice when u actually do slide urself an extra card or whatever

[royalberryriku]

It's gonna be 39C (102.2f) and we don't have an aircon fuckkk I hate Australian summers. Especially since, at least here, it's humid af as well.

#personal #vent #it's 29C today and I'm barely able to function im gonna die tomorrow #plan is to wake up at the asscrack of dawn and go somewhere that does have aircon all day #we can't even fix it ourselves because it's not our house and we don't have permission to like come on #like the mall or something #or the supermarket #just turning around in the frozen food department like a rotisserie chicken to be cooled down instead of heated #There's some places i can sit down and vibe that have at least some aircon #better than none #also fuck our real estate for refusing to fix stuff because it costs them money and they want to “”wait“” to be able to pay it #it's fucking summer and we're quite literally toast while they want to save more for christmas #like bruh #y'all are already rich as fuck at least pay off the investment of SHELTER YOU PROVIDE FOR VERY HIGH PRICES #when honestly shelter should be free but damn gotta buy that extra fucking ham or toy train set lest it spoil christmas #like damn imagine having a low key Christmas to save money while actually paying your bills it's almost like thats always us and for what #so y'all can complain you have it hard that we pay for your shit then act surprised you gotta maintain the thing we pay for?? #asshats probably don't even look at their electricity bill and ration the damn aircon and fans as if using too much means losing them ffs #anyway fuck the rich and this system that is centred around making basic shelter a commodity #rent is such a fucking scam and buying is like owning a black hole to throw your living expenses into if you dare to own your own shelter #housing should be free and this cabalistic capitalist system is a fucking nightmare #anyway back to the og point lol #it's fucking hot and i want winter back #Australian winters are so mild and great its like spring in other countries i think #spring here is also a nightmare of rain heatwaves and cold fighting in a parking lot so it's not nice here #but winter?? #nice and cool and mild #wish it was always less than 23C all the time that'd be amazing #i don't remember what that is in fahrenheit but yeah

[goldkirk]

GOOD MORNING PALS, I WOKE UP FEELING LIKE I ACTUALLY GOT SLEEP AND IM MEDICATED AND RAN TWO ERRANDS AND GOT AOIFE OUT AND PUT ON ALL CLEAN CLOTHES TODAY AND WASHED MY GRIMY FACE AND HAD A COULDN’T-HAVE-GONE-BETTER MEETING ALREADY, AND I’M CONSTANTLY SICK BUT NOT PASSING OUT ANYMORE, SO ALL OF THIS MEANS I AM GOING TO GO AT LIGHT SPEED TODAY UNTIL I CRASH EVENTUALLY AND I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS JOYOUS THINGS-ACTUALLY-WORKING ENERGY EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEM!!!!!

(message to you guys in the tags! 💛)

#it’s going to only be another few hours but I am so relieved and competent until then #remember to move #stretch release yawn shift unclench and relax down #and remember to drink #water or juice or coffee or soda or tea or anything else your body likes right now #and remember to eat #if you haven’t had something in the last 3-6 hours at all #try to eat just a couple bites of a snack at least just so your body has a little bit of something for blood sugar and calories #or if food is too hard try to drink something with high sugar or consume a smoothie or shake or oatmeal/applesauce/yogurt #since they can be easier to take #and remember to give yourself medication #for any chronic or acute needs please make sure you take something if it will make it better #you can handle low level constant stuff a lot I know #but you don’t HAVE to it’s okay to take a break every now and then and get a little help #or even rest if you can #a mild headache will still be better or gone if you take something for it #tolerable but draining chronic illness symptoms are background noise I know #but sometimes we can all use the reminder that you actually COULD give yourself a little break if ‘better’ #if you treat yo self by using a heating pad or extra electrolytes or as needed medication or cool cloths or a brace or earplugs or a fan etc #you can feel better a little bit and it’s not a waste of time #it’ll help you with everything else too #so check with your body for a moment just to see where you’re at with needs for #water food meds and comfort #and choose on purpose to be easing to yourself today if you can. you’re not a machine masquerading as a human. it’s okay to need. #reminders #(in the tags) #personal #add to journal #happy tag #i can actually be good for a momen

[yeleltaan]

//Hello! It's been quiet here, even a little more so than usual.

Things have been fine, everything important has stayed okay. I've just been having trouble dealing with the start of the semester. The classes are long, the assignments are plentiful, and I've been having a very hard time staying focused for them. It's just been a slog, I'm anxious and because I'm having trouble focusing these things end up taking up a lot of my day.

I don't know when I'll start popping up more around here, or how much writing you can expect from me in the near future. I can at least say that I do want to be here, and I'm trying. I just don't really know when things will get better for my brain, or if I'll still try to power through and write before then or if activity will have to wait until the root issue improves significantly.

I'll be around to plot. That's my way of keeping things alive even when the ability to write isn't there, so please if you're interested in some idea and we haven't been talking about it, feel free to approach me. I may be a little slower with chats, but I will respond.

Best of luck with whatever you're dealing with, take care.

#ooc #hey there. I meant to write this a few days ago but it's been difficult to just sit down and talk about this #I'm going through a lot of highs and lows and overall I'm just exhausted #feeling like this after one month of class which tbh I'm not very proud of. But it'll pass #I should say it's getting better in some aspects. Found a good source of exercise that I enjoy #which is essential for me to find a better headspace. But it's also another thing that consumes time #and I'm really tired of everything taking so much extra time and effort from me #so long as this lasts I can't find time to do what I like and it becomes a self-feeding cycle of feeling like shit #but on a more positive note: I'm still aware that this feels to me much worse than it really is. I just need to be patient #and trust the process

[deancoded-deangirl]

aight so the sheet poll might just be me. as a Peruvian kid in an entirely Peruvian household, we each grew up w two thick alpaca wool blankets and you never have to wash them unless they get a fat stain or something because it’s hypoallergenic, and naturally repels liquids and smells so like, while you CAN dry clean, most alpaca blankets are never washed in their lifetime.

so for me it’s: fitted sheet -> me -> alpaca -> comforter, and the alpaca protects the comforter (and it’s got a nice texture too!)

#might’ve just been me culturally thinking and I just so happened to be in the majority #if you do put them in the washer there’s a whole slew of adjustments #cold water no spin and you have to use human hair shampoo #dryer extra low minimal tumble #and even then there’s high risk the blanket is destroyed

[dokyeomini]

the highs and lows of a mother-daughter relationship

#she's making me earn pocket money by doing extra chores #this is the high #the low is her casual homophobia