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originallandlockedmariner · 4 months

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2023

Pickleball. Generative AI. Lula takes office in Brazil, Amazon Rainforest throws a party. Prince Harry refusing to stop talking about his frozen penis no matter how many times society begged him to stop. UFOs are real. Viral cat dubbed ‘largest cat anyone has ever seen’ gets adopted. Pee-Wee’s big adventure ends. Musk & X. Turkey-Syria earthquake kills thousands. India surpasses China as ‘country squeezing in the most peeps’. Tucker Carlson ousted. Miss USA and her 30 lbs moon costume. Wildfires in Kelowna and Hawaii. Macron tinkers with retirement age of the French. Paltrow can’t ski. Big Red Boots. Bob Barker leaves us. Alabama mom delivers 2 babies from her 2 uteruses in 2 days. Charles III. Ukrainian counteroffensive against Russian forces as the war drags on. Taylor Swift is Time’s Person of the Year. African ‘coup belt’. Flo-Jo dies in her sleep. Chinese spy balloon shot down. Hollywood writers strike. Human ‘nice mugshot’ Shitstain and his 91 indictments. Highest interest rates in 2 decades. The Bear’s Christmas episode. War in Gaza. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Alex Murdaugh. Ocean Cleanup removes 25 000 lbs of trash from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Vase purchased for $3.99 sells for $100 000 at auction. Barbenheimer. A third of Pakistan is flooded. Lionel Messi is the GOAT. Travis Kelce. The Sphere opens in Las Vegas. Regulators seized Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank, resulting in two of the three largest bank failures in U.S. history. “The Woman In Me”. WHO declares COVID ain’t a thing no more. Titan sub sinks, rich people die. Matthew Perry drowns. Dumbledore Dies (again). Massive sales of ‘Fuck Trudeau’ flags for jacked-up micro-dick trucks. Everything Everywhere All At Once. June-August was the hottest three-month period in recorded history across the Earth. Tina Turner dies. And the Beatles release a new song?! Wow… You got big shoes to fill 2024.

Archives for context:

2020

Kobe. Pandemic. Lockdown. Koalas on fire. Harry and Meg retire. Toilet paper hoarding. Alcoholism. Impeach the f*cker. Parasite. Bonnie Henry. Tiger King. Working from home. Sourdough bread. Harvey Weinstein guilty. Zoom overdose. Dip your body in sanitizer. 6 feet. Quarantine. OK Boomer. Home schooling (everyone passes). Murder hornets. Dolly Parton. Don’t hug, kiss or see anybody, especially your family. Chris Evans’ junk. TikTok. Glory holes. Face masks. CERB. West Coast wildfires. Stay home. Small Businesses lose, big box stores win. F*ck Bozos. ‘Dreams’ and cranberry juice. Close yoga studios, but thumbs up to your local gym. Speak moistly to me. George Floyd. BLM. F*ck Trump. Phase 2, 3 and Summer. RBG. Baby Yoda. Biden wins. Bond and Black Panther die. No more lockdown. Back to school and work. Just kidding... giddy up round 2. Giuliani leaks shit from his head. Resurgence of chess. UFOs are real. Restrictions. Dave Grohl admits defeat. Monolith. “F*ck... forgot my mask in the car”. No Christmas shenanigans allowed. Bubbles. Alex Trebek. Use the term ‘dumpster fire’ one too many times. Jupiter and Saturn form 'Christmas Star'. Happy New Year Bitches!!!! 2021... you better not sh*t the bed!!

2021

“We love you, you’re very special”. Failed coup attempt at the Capital. Twitter, FB and IG ban Donny. Hammerin’ Hank goes to the Field of Dreams. Bozo no longer richest man but still a twat. Leachman, Tyson, and Holbrook pass. The economy is worse than expected. Kim and Kanye split. Brood X cicadas. Dre has an aneurysm and nearly has his home broken into. Bridgerton. MyPillow CEO is a douche. Covid restrictions extended indefinitely. Captain Von Trapp dies. Proud Boys officially a Terrorist Organization. Richard Ramirez. Cancer takes Screech. Travel bans. Impeachment trial (again?… oh and this was barely February? WTF??!!) Suez Canal blockage. Myanmar protest. Kong dukes it out with Godzilla, while Raya watches. Olympics. Friends compare elective surgeries. F9. Canada Women’s Soccer Gold. Free Britney. Multiverses. Residential Schools in Canada unearth children’s bodies. Kate is Mare of Easttown. Cuomo resigns. Disney and Dwayne cruise together. Wildfires. Delta variants. Musk passes Bezos. Candyman x 5. Capt. Kirk goes to space. F*ck Kyle Rittenhouse. Astros didn’t win. Squid Game. Goodbye Bond. Dune is redone. Angelina is Eternal. Astroworld deaths. Meta. Omicron. Three Spidermen. Tornados in December? World Juniors cancelled. Pills against Covid. School opening delayed. And Betty White dies. 2022… my expectations are ridiculously low…

2022

Wow… eight billion people. Queen Elizabeth II passes away after ruling the Commonwealth before dirt was invented. The monkeypox. Russia plays the role of global a**hole. Wordle. Mother Nature rocks Afghanistan. Hover bike. Styles spits on Pine. Olivia Newton John, Kristie Alley, and Coolio leave us. Pele was traded to team Heaven. FTX implodes. Madonna and the 3-D model of her vagina. Pig gives his heart to a human. Beijing can brag that it is the first city ever to host both the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics. Uvalde. $3 trillion Apple. Keith Raniere gets 120 years. The Whisky War ends with Canada and Denmark going halfsies. Mar-a-Lago. Nick Cannon brood hits a dozen. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Inflation goes through the roof (if you can actually afford to put a roof over your head). Volodymyr Zelensky. European heat wave. Bennifer. Salman Rushdie is stabbed on stage, Dave Chappelle tackled, and Chris Rock is only slapped. Thích Nhất Hạnh. Heidi Klum goes full slug. Cuba knocked out by Ian. Liz Truss and 4.1 Scaramuccis. Taylor Swift breaks Ticketmaster. Human shitstain Elon Musk ignores helping mankind and buys Twitter instead. Riri becomes a mommy. NASA launches Artemis 1. Trump still a whiny little b*tch. Music lost Loretta Lynn, Christine McVie, and Meat Loaf. Democracy died at least three times. Pete Davidson continues to date hottest women on the planet (no one understands how?!) Microplastics in our blood. Alex Jones is a c*nt. So is DeSantis. Argentina wins the World Cup. Meghan and Harry. Eddie Munson rips Metallica in the Upside Down. tWitch. Roe vs Wade is overturned by the micro dick energy of the Supreme Court. CODA. James Corden shows he is a "tiny Cretin of a man". Amber (and the sh*t on the bed) Heard (round the world). Sebastian Bear-McClard proves he’s one of the f*cking dumbest men alive. Latin America's ‘pink tide’. Anti-Semitic rants by Ye. Bob Saget. A verified blue checkmark. Godmother of punk Vivienne dies. And, Tom Cruise feels the need for speed yet again. 2023… whatcha got for us?!? Nothing shocks me anymore.

@daily-esprit-descalier

#me #my words #doodles

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cinematitlecards · 11 months

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"The Fast and the Furious" (2001) Directed by Rob Cohen (Action/Crime/Thriller) . . "2 Fast 2 Furious" (2003) Directed by John Singleton (Action/Crime/Thriller) . . "The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift" (2006) Directed by Justin Lin (Action/Crime/Thriller) . . "Fast & Furious" (2009) Directed by Justin Lin (Action/Thriller) . . "Fast Five" (2011) Directed by Justin Lin (Action/Adventure/Crime) . . "Fast & Furious 6" (2013) Directed by Justin Lin (Action/Adventure/Thriller) . . "Furious 7" (2015) Directed by James Wan (Action/Adventure/Thriller) . . "The Fate of the Furious" (2017) Directed by F. Gary Gray (Action/Adventure/Crime) . . "Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw" (2019) Directed by David Leitch (Action/Adventure/Thriller) . . "F9" (2021) Directed by Justin Lin (Action/Adventure/Crime)

#the fast and the furious #fast x #justin lin #james wan #f. gary gray #vin diesel #paul walker #michelle rodriguez #Dwayne The Rock Johnson #film #cinema #cinema title cards #tokyo drift

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lovecatnip · 11 days

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2021

#f9 #vin diesel #michelle rodriguez #jordana brewster #john cena #sung kang #tyrese gibson #ludacris #nathalie emmanuel #anna sawai #charlize theron #helen mirren

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aneurins · 1 year

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by clicking on the SOURCE LINK below you will be redirected to a gif pack server where you can access #69 gifs (268px x 150px) of KURT RUSSELL in F9 (2021) and ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD (2019). he’s SEVENTY ONE currently and is of ENGLISH, IRISH, GERMAN, and SCOTTISH decent. LIKE OR REBLOG this post if you find it at all useful. you can make into gif icons or crackships but if you decide to post publicly please credit me in them. don’t use to play the actor themselves, nor write any taboo subjects. i may add more in the future if there is an interest.

tw: smoking and drinking.

#kurt russell #kurt russell gif pack #kurt russel gif hunt #gif pack #gif hunt #fcxdirectory #supportcontentcreators #thegifpackreblogs #older fcs #underused fcs #olderfcs #fc ideas

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movie-emersyn · 4 months

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Fast X (also known as Fast & Furious 10) is a 2023 American action film directed by Louis Leterrier from a screenplay written by Dan Mazeau and Justin Lin, both of whom also co-wrote the story with Zach Dean. It is the sequel to F9 (2021), the tenth main installment, and the eleventh installment overall in the Fast & Furious franchise. It stars Vin Diesel as Dominic Toretto alongside an ensemble cast including Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Chris "Ludacris" Bridges, John Cena, Nathalie Emmanuel, Jordana Brewster, Sung Kang, Scott Eastwood, Daniela Melchior, Alan Ritchson, Helen Mirren, Brie Larson, Rita Moreno, Jason Statham, Jason Momoa, and Charlize Theron. In the film, Toretto must protect his family from Dante Reyes (Momoa), who seeks revenge for his father's death and the loss of his family's fortune.

With a tenth film planned since 2014 and a two-part finale planned since October 2020, Lin was confirmed to return to direct with the main cast attached. The film's official title was revealed when principal photography began in April 2022. Lin left as director later that month citing creative differences, though he retained writing and producing credits. Leterrier was then hired as his replacement a week later and performed several uncredited rewrites to the screenplay. Longtime franchise composer Brian Tyler returned to score the film. With an estimated production budget of $340 million, Fast X would be the eighth-most expensive film ever made. Filming lasted until that August, taking place in London, Rome, Turin, other Italian cities, Lisbon, and Los Angeles.

Fast X premiered in Rome on May 12, 2023, and was released in the United States on May 19, by Universal Pictures. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with praise for its action sequences and Momoa's performance but criticism towards the writing. The film grossed $714 million worldwide, becoming the fifth-highest-grossing film of 2023. A sequel is in development and scheduled to be released on April 4, 2025.

#movies #cinema #fast x 2023 #fast x movie #fast x spoilers

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deathisreborn · 1 year

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"Fast & Furious 9" (2021). Dir. Justin Lin.

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arsalamsyah · 4 months

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The Happy Ending of 2023

On Dec 22, 2023, I reflected on how this year has been. I remembered everything that happened in Q4 but questioned, “what did I do in Q1 to Q3?” I couldn’t even remember until I scrolled up again my instagram archives, and found stories from April 9, 2023. Forget about the title above for a second. Have you ever cried naturally so ugly that you still remember how painfully aching it felt even after months passed by? I teared up again looking at those insta stories to flashback.

For context, home for me has always been the east coast – mid-atlantic specifically – where, despite not owning a physical house, my soul feels belong to its surroundings. You know it already why LA was, is, and will never ever be home for me based on this previous comparison I wrote in 2021.

While I enjoyed my work at SPX, I didn’t find balance outside of work which forced me to take flights to DC or NY almost every quarter to keep my sanity checked. Following a business trip to Florida and watching the F9 rocket launch with bare eyes back in April 2023, I extended my trip to spend the weekend in DC as I was already on the east coast anyway. Only spent less than 48 hours at home with my “foster” fam, and it was the shortest time I ever spent on a long west-coast-to-east-coast route.

So getting back to the question, have you ever cried naturally so ugly that you still remember how painfully aching it felt even after months passed by? The emotion on April 9 still lingers through those insta stories – it was right after this direct flight from DCA airport to LAX that my heart was too heavy to carry.

The above is a combined video since Tumblr doesn’t allow multiple videos in one post. First video – this take-off from DCA airport was too pretty to say goodbye to. Got the right-side window seat facing the National Mall and the weather was absolutely comforting. Then second video – before landing at LAX airport during sunset which was actually eyes-pleasing with another plane queuing on the side. The pilot failed twice to land safely due to poor visibility through thick fog & mist. Pretty much a sign of an unwelcoming environment.

It was right after this flight that my tears just burst out naturally while I was waiting for my on demand ride, on the side of a highway, where nobody else was there but cars passing by through the dark. I couldn’t hold it anymore that this cathartic cry had to happen and my chest was painfully suffocated. I turned around not to face the street because it was just too ugly to see, and had I not held my luggage tightly, I probably fell down to the ground crying like a baby. Admittedly, I had more cries living there than my entire life. The return trip from the east coast had never been easy even from the first time I moved there, “hhhh, why do I have to leave again?” “why am I here?” “God, let me go home.” “let me just go.”

What made the cry further uglier was the fact that the only thing (and there is only one thing) I can do is to repent for everything, asking Allah’s forgiveness. You can’t beat those pure senses. You just can’t. You can only repent and trust His puzzling plan.

Earlier this year was a rough patch for me, living on the edge of decision to decision and negotiation to negotiation, mostly very last minute like mini heart attacks. But finally Allah let me flip it beautifully to a much happier life, and safely returned home for good for real foreveeerrrr.

Ever since moving back to NYC, I experience happiness like never before. Like my soul returns to its body quite literally. Waking up happy, running the day happy, going to bed happy – constantly 24/7 every single day for the past few months filled with utter gratitude. I didn’t know happiness like this existed. I didn’t regret my past decision to relocate to California because had I not done that, maybe I wouldn't be as grateful as today. I tried. I did try. I tried to like it in so many ways for a couple years and it just didn’t work out. It's not my way of living. So don't you dare judging this cry is a test to my level of maturity or inability to accept uncomfortable situation. This is not.

To me to be home again is very personal & poetic. A relief, an ease, a reunion with my own self, being loved again, forgiving & compromising, tranquility over the heart, smiling from ear to ear, gratitude for every single breath, a comfort internally and externally – I shall never let that slip again. After a choking series of denials, a good friend once said, “listen to your heart, sometimes it tries to tell you something”. For another round of the sun, Alhamdulillahirrabil’alamiin thankful for the faith, the endurance, the persistence, and all other good traits that didn’t go unappreciated by my own (sometimes demanding) self.

it me, after moving back to Manhattan, at one of my favorite spots in Central Park during the peak of fall foliage season, living happily ever after beyond 2023.

#life #journal #personal #home

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finncoledaily · 2 years

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Finn Cole attending the world premiere of F9: Fast and the Furious ( 2021 )

#fcoleedit #finncoleedit #finn cole #f9 #interview #mancandykings #flawlessgentlemen #usershelby #michaelgrayrps #ilovefinncole #celticmelody #m: gif

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originallandlockedmariner · 1 year

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For three years running…

2020

2021

2022

Wow… eight billion people. Queen Elizabeth II passes away after ruling the Commonwealth before dirt was invented. The monkeypox. Russia plays the role of global asshole. Wordle. Mother Nature rocks Afghanistan. Hover bike. Styles spits on Pine. Olivia Newton John, Kristie Alley, and Coolio leave us. Pele was traded to team Heaven. FTX implodes. Madonna and the 3-D model of her vagina. Pig gives his heart to a human. Beijing can brag that it is the first city ever to host both the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics. Uvalde. $3 trillion Apple. Keith Raniere gets 120 years. The Whisky War ends with Canada and Denmark going halfsies. Mar-a-Lago. Nick Cannon brood hits a dozen. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Inflation goes through the roof (if you can actually afford to put a roof over your head). Volodymyr Zelensky. European heat wave. Bennifer. Salman Rushdie is stabbed on stage, Dave Chappelle tackled, and Chris Rock is only slapped. Thích Nhất Hạnh. Heidi Klum goes full slug. Cuba knocked out by Ian. Liz Truss and 4.1 Scaramuccis. Taylor Swift breaks Ticketmaster. Human shitstain Elon Musk ignores helping mankind and buys Twitter instead. Riri becomes a mommy. NASA launches Artemis 1. Trump still a whiny little bitch. Music lost Loretta Lynn, Christine McVie, and Meat Loaf. Democracy died at least three times. Pete Davidson continues to date hottest women on the planet. Microplastics in our blood. Alex Jones is a cunt. So is DeSantis. Argentina wins the World Cup. Meghan and Harry. Eddie Munson rips Metallica in the Upside Down. tWitch. Roe vs Wade is overturned by the micro dick energy of the Supreme Court. CODA. James Corden shows he is a "tiny Cretin of a man". Amber (and the shit on the bed) Heard (round the world). Sebastian Bear-McClard proves he’s one of the fucking dumbest men alive. Latin America's ‘pink tide’. Anti-Semitic rants by Ye. Bob Saget. A verified blue checkmark. Godmother of punk Vivienne dies. And, Tom Cruise feels the need for speed yet again. 2023… whatcha got for us?!? Nothing shocks me anymore.

#me #my words

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satellitefeed · 2 years

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sharing my fave first watches of august :3 detachment (2011), pleasantville (1998), nope (2022), i'm not there (2007), love and mercy (2014) and F9 (2021)

#had to include f9 its just so fucking funny #journal

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rookie-critic · 1 year

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Rookie-Critic's Film Review Weekend Wrap-Up - Week of 4/24-4/30/2023

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019, dir. David Leitch) This was a good off-shoot for the F&F series. The Rock & Jason Statham feel comfortable as the titular duo and have excellent on-screen chemistry, and the action feels clean and exciting, which is no surprise considering the film was directed by John Wick-veteran David Leitch, who fits the franchise like a glove. I really enjoyed all of the climactic fight scenes with Hobbs' family in Samoa. Honestly, the more Cliff Curtis can be in major feature films, the better. Idris Elba and Vanessa Kirby also make for great additions to the growing franchise. It never really blew my mind like some of the mainline Fast films have, but I don't think it was really trying to. Sometimes a movie is just good, dumb, clean fun, and that's perfectly alright with me. I just hate that this film (along with a multitude of other behind-the-scenes reasons) means that we probably won't be seeing Luke Hobbs in any of the remaining Fast movies.

Score: 7/10

Currently available to rent/purchase on digital (iTunes, Amazon, Vudu, etc.) and on 4K, Blu-ray & DVD through Universal Studios.

F9: The Fast Saga (2021, dir. Justin Lin) After the wholly disappointing and, frankly, upsetting misstep that was The Fate of the Furious, I was curious to see if F9 would continue the downward trend, or if it would step its game up to bring some of the franchise's former glory back. When in doubt, trust in Justin Lin, who comes swooping back into the franchise for the first time since Fast & Furious 6 to save the day, with fan favorite character Han Lue in tow. This is biggest, wildest fast film yet, and I mean that as a compliment. That's not to say that it's the best (that honor is still held by Fast Five), but it does return a lot of the wonder and sincerity that Five, Six, and (to a lesser extent) Seven had. Not to mention that it is the first film in the franchise to incorporate Sean, Twinkie, and Earl from Tokyo Drift into the family in a major way since Tokyo Drift (if you don't count a tiny cameo from Lucas Black's Sean in Furious 7). Nothing about F9 feels as baseline or low-effort as the stuff in Fate did. Even the introduction of a mysterious third Toretto sibling that, for some reason, we hadn't heard about for the past eight films feels out of place or shoehorned in. Needless to say, where Fate of the Furious had me wondering if the franchise was receding in quality, F9 has me just as pumped to go see Fast X in May as I was after watching Fast Five.

Score: 8/10

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

Guy Ritchie's The Covenant (2023, dir. Guy Ritchie) I went into this with a lot of apprehension. I was not a huge fan of the last Guy Ritchie film that tried to take a more serious approach to its tone (2021's Wrath of Man). It had a lot of grandstanding machismo bullshit that I hate to see in modern filmmaking. However, Ritchie really surprised me with The Covenant. He has Jake Gyllenhaal acting at the top of his game here with an equally impressive turn from Dar Salim as Ahmed the interpreter. While the story is fiction, it highlights a huge problem in the aftermath of the War on Terror: thousands of Afghani interpreters were hired by the U.S. military and promised special immigration visas for their service; a promise that turned out to be hollow. It sends its message without grandstanding and is critical of the U.S. military without putting itself on a soapbox. The film does tend to get overly self-indulgent during big sweeping climactic scenes and in certain emotional ones, as well. It's the one thing about the film that feels out of place, but even in spite of that, The Covenant is an excellent film and proof that Ritchie is capable of making a more serious-minded, message-oriented film than the humorous heist or caper films he's known for.

Score: 8/10

Currently only in theaters.

Chevalier (2023, dir. Stephen Williams) I'll just say up front that my bias might show a little in my scoring of this one. I have never been the biggest fan of 16-1800's period pieces. I'm not sure what it is, but something about them has just never gelled with me. That being said, there's nothing really wrong with Chevalier. In fact, it is, in my opinion, much better than the average film of this sensibility. The acting is fantastic and it sheds light on an oft-overlook but quintessentially influential figure in both classical music and the French revolution. The music is a huge plus in the film's favor, of course, and the costumes are, as is the case with most film's set in this era, masterfully crafted. I think my biggest qualm with the film is that it stops right as the French revolution is getting started and then tells the audience that Chevalier went on to be a great leader during the Revolution. Maybe it's just me, but I think that sounds interesting enough to make it's own film about. This almost makes me wonder (and I don't ever really feel this way about films) if this would have been better suited as an 6-8 episode miniseries as opposed to a film. We still could have focused a 2-3 episodes on Chevalier's childhood and young adulthood in France's pre-Revolution music scene, but then dedicated an entire half of the show to his accomplishments during the Revolution. Regardless, I don't want that to take away from the fact the Chevalier was quite good, and definitely worth the ticket price. I just think more could have been done with the wealth of untold history that exists within the lifetime of this figure.

Score: 7/10

Currently only in theaters.

Polite Society (2023, dir. Nida Manzoor) This movie absolutely ruled. It gave me all of the frenetic energy of the best Edgar Wright films while also giving me the genre-bending and jaw-dropping off-the-wall attitude of something like Everything, Everywhere, All at Once. This was a film that wasn't afraid to go for it in every way, shape, and form. From campy-but-well-choreographed fight sequences, to plot twist that twist so hard they'll make your head spin, to an unabashed approach to a female-empowerment narrative. Not to mention a story that is very uniquely Indian that touches on the nature of arranged marriages and classicism. Polite Society had everything that I look for in a film, and is a very early contender for the best of 2023 list. I'll save some of my more in-depth thoughts on stuff like the acting, writing, and cinematography for this week's full-length, but just know that if anything I've mentioned above sounds even remotely interesting, make this a priority watch (I don't want to say definitively that this is the best of the weekend's new movies because I haven't seen Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret yet, and I hear that is pretty amazing, as well).

Score: 10/10

Currently only in theaters.

A Good Man (2014, dir. Keoni Waxman) Yikes. Just... yikes. Friday movie nights with my college friends can get pretty wild sometimes. I've never seen a Steven Seagal film before, and maybe this wasn't the best one to start with (or, inversely, maybe it's the best one to start with). Seagal is clearly past his prime here (or, again, maybe in his prime, depending on your perspective), and looks like he's constantly on the verge of passing out. His words come out slurred and mumbled like he's on his deathbed, and his "action" in the film is cut around so heavily you really never see him actually do anything. The story is non-existent and the writing contains some of the most unintentionally hilarious one-liners I have ever heard in my entire life (I'm partial to the one where Seagal utters the baffling sentence "Well, I'm sorry to hear that, because now I'll snatch every motherfucker birthday." No, there's no typo there, that is verbatim what he says. My meme review is that this is great. Real "The Room" caliber stuff, here. My actual review is that obviously Seagal is a lunatic that is just self-funding whatever production he can fart out in an afternoon at this point. Honestly, if you want some quality takes on this, visit the Letterbox'd page.

Score: 1/10

Currently streaming for free with ads on Redbox. Tzi Ma should be above stuff like this.

Sisu (2023, dir. Jalmari Helander) I really wanted to love Sisu. I'm as much a fan of mindless action movies as the next guy, but the truth is I thought it was just ok. It delivers on exactly what it promised everyone in the trailers, one-man army kills the crap out of some Nazis for 91 minutes, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. There are a handful of really fun set pieces and lots of entertaining gore for fans of that kind of thing, but it just felt incredibly hollow. There are no characters in Sisu, only templates of archetypes that things happen to. No one learns anything, there's no journey to be had, merely an avatar quickly making his way through bodies to get to a destination. I'm not implying that every single movie needs to have some grand, elaborate story with deep and complex characters and rich subtext or anything like that, but I would have liked at least some substance to this. There are still things to enjoy in Sisu, and from what I've read I'm a slight outlier in not thinking this is incredible, but it just didn't connect with me. However, don't let that stop you from seeing this in the theater. The cinematography and style alone are worth the big screen experience.

Score: 6/10

Currently only in theaters.

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