Updated idea: somebody else wears the spyro onesie (because it’s comfy or to annoy him) and Jeremy just cuddles the shit out of them
Can I offer you Rimmy Tim in a spyro onesie in these trying times?
Jack: Oh what’s going on now?
Geoff: It sounds like they’re torturing Matt again. So glad I hired him.
Trevor: I’m glad you hired him too. He brings…. so much to the team.
Michael: *taking out water gun*
Fiona: And they didn’t invite me??
Lindsay: *pulling out a similar water gun to Michael’s, or bigger and filled with hot sauce* Nonono you guys are NOT doing it right.
Gavin: *pulling up in a fire truck* HONK HONK BITCHES!
Omg yes yes!!! Give it to me!!
Matt’s having a real rough few days after a heist or something or just in general and while most of the others dont know what to do, Jeremy is on top of it. He knows one thing that always helps matt to relax or just feel a wee bit better is someone playing with his hair. Jeremy will go and brush Matt’s hair out and untangle it after he tells matt to shower and wash up. Jeremy slowly towel drying it cause the blow dryer would be to loud and Matt prefers quiet when hes down. Jeremy braiding Matt’s hair, keeping stray buts out of Matt’s face, all the while he hums Matt’s favorite song. After that’s done, they play some Mario Kart and Just bibe together, Matt feeling better with Jeremy next to him and more relaxed after having his hair played with uwu.
Soft boi hours uwu uwu uwu
I can just hear Matt’s voice rn. “God DAMMIT!” and then Jeremy laughing really hard. Alfredo pulling a supersoaker out of nowhere and just utterly dousing Jeremy??? Thats poetic.
Here’s To the Night has been completely edited and the trash taken out.
Now to work on the next chapter!
I decided to replace that person with Ray, so there’s some minor edits. My longterm plot changes a little, but Ray will strike out on his own as Jeremy joins the Fakes.
Is it my sleep deprived brain
Or is Brittle Buddies actually a good name for the Gavin, Ryan, and Jeremy team?
Because apparently officially it’s Team Squad, which is stupid and funny, but also impersonal and not what I was hoping for in a team name for this particular Fahc fic (my chat fic, in case anyone is interested).
And Brittle Buddies is about the best I could come up with.
I’m happily taking either opinions on the name or other suggestions. I just kind of want the three of them to have a nice name that isn’t just “Team Squad” because they’re an absolute joy to write together causing chaos.
The media like to make Rimmy Tim out as a ruthless wild card who loves explosives.
But in reality Jeremy has dropped what he’s doing to pet cats and has had to be pulled away by Ryan.
Honestly a first date is them on a heist together getting shot at–
and Ryan goes:
“Wanna go out?”
“Like? Right now? You’re doing this NOW?”
“I meant after work, just you and I, probably blowing shit up for funzies or get food.”
“Out of any time to ask me, you choose during a HEIST.”
“Listen, I didn’t know what to say and it’s just in the moment while my adrenaline is pumping.”
“Fine, fine. Just let us get out of this ALIVE, we can shower and get ready.”
“We can shower, huh? Together?”
It could’ve gone in a more, less intense state like what Lindsay suggested, but Ryan and making words without fumbling without the adrenaline is just a mess.
Don’t mind me, just crying about my family soulmarks au again. ￼
Mostly I’ve been thinking about Ryan in that au, and how the Vagabond builds up this huge terrifying reputation but in reality he like, has a panic attack if he’s left alone in the dark, is constantly glued to Gavin or Jeremy’s side whenever one of them is around, forgets to eat sometimes because he doesn’t want to be away from them or because he doesn’t have the energy for. He has days he doesn’t talk a lot because even getting out of bed was a lot of energy and he just kind of sits around not doing much with coaxing from Jeremy or Gavin. And he’s constantly worried about the two of them getting hurt and goes into overprotective mother hen mode over even small injuries.
FAHC/Superpowers AU Hivemind where one of them is telepathic and assumes the other is as well but the other just thinks they know each other too well
Hello, AH Community! I heard y'all like Fake AH Crew!!!
send me a ship and i’ll tell you:
who reaches out to new neighbors
They’re both pretty good about interacting with neighbors, but Alfredo is the one to notice that someone new moved in. Plus he can be a paranoid motherfucker, so he’s gotta check them out and make sure they’re not like… serial killers or something.
(“Alfredo you’re literally the sniper for the most notorious gang in the country, and I’ve taken more hit jobs than the average person has jobs.”
“Ok but that’s work, that’s different.”
who remembers to buy healthy food
They both make a conscious effort to eat healthy, try to eat at home, etc. It’s mostly Jeremy though, because he’s usually the one shopping for groceries.
who remembers to buy junk food
Alfredo, because a treat now and then is good for you, actually, it’s motivation-
“You bought three boxes of Ring Dings!”
“Listen you asked me to come shopping, not my fault if some things jumped in the cart.”
who fixes the oven when it breaks
They work together to accidentally break it even more before they call Michael to come help.
who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s)
Jeremy is the plants guy, because they tend to blend into the background for Alfredo.
Alfredo’s got a whole system for the pet food though. It mostly involves keeping the dog from the cats because he’ll eat all of their food if given the chance.
who wakes up earlier
They usually get up at the same time, and often because of Trevor’s incessant phone calls.
who makes the bed
Alfredo. Once upon a time he didn’t care, but Jeremy was the one to really introduce him to the wonderful feeling of climbing into a nicely made bed at the end of a long day. There’s no going back now, even when Jeremy’s not as worried about it anymore.
who makes the coffee
Alfredo starts it. Jeremy is oddly hopeless when it comes to a coffee machine. He’s either got way too many scoops of coffee, or not enough. He does make the individual cups though.
who burns breakfast
Jeremy, although it doesn’t happen often. He’s a fairly good cook, even if his pancakes get a little over done sometimes.
Inserting this because I do what I want:
- Their morning really boils down to routine, order of operations. They wake up to some crew notification, while Jeremy showers and gets dressed Alfredo makes the bed/starts the coffee/feeds the pets. They switch off, Alfredo goes to shower and get dressed while Jeremy makes breakfast, pours the coffee, tells Trevor they’re totally on their way (they’re not.)
how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house
By yelling each other’s names at the top of their lungs like idiots. They’ve gotten more than one noise complaint.
how do they greet each other when one of them gets home
Also by yelling, but a little more subdued. It’s no wonder they get new neighbors so often, actually.
who brings home little gifts like flowers/chocolates more often
They both do pretty equally! Jeremy likes to bring home dumb souvenir type t-shirts as a ‘i was thinking about you’ type thing. Alfredo will bring back beanies to keep Jeremy’s bald head warm.
who picks the movie for movie night
They trade off! They don’t really have a set night, so it’s usually born out of “hey we should watch this tonight!”
their favorite kind of movie to watch
Pretty much anything that’s not horror or scary at all. There was one night they got about half an hour into the original It, and then Alfredo got too freaked out and they watched Disney movies the rest of the night.
who first suggests a pillow fort
Alfredo, because “man I just want to be a kid again, forget about clowns and all that shit”
“Oh, like the kids in The Losers Club?”
who builds the pillow fort
Jeremy, as both an apology and because Alfredo refuses to turn his back on any dark shadows in the apartment.
“Fredo it’s not even real, the closest we’re gonna get to a murderous clown is Fiona in the Po costume.”
“But what if we’re wrong? I’m not taking chances dude.”
who tries to distract the other during the move
Alfredo, out of payback for making him watch even part of a scary movie. He makes numerous attempts to scare Jeremy, grabbing his shoulder or yelling suddenly. It backfires, because he somehow ends up scaring himself more.
Jeremy still throws popcorn at him to make him feel a little better about it.
who falls asleep first
Jeremy, because by the time Fredo gives up on the jumpscare thing, he’s fuckin exhausted. Turns out building a fort takes a lot of him. Plus like… He’s had a few beers, he’s nice and warm, and Alfredo is tucked into his side like he still needs protection from Hades on screen. He could not be more content and relaxed.
who is big spoon/little spoon
Other than nights like these, when Alfredo is still picturing Tim Curry’s face, they kind of alternate. One of them will roll over in bed, reaching out for the other. Just this little moment of 'hey we’re here together, I love you, I want you close to me.’
Jeremy is an absolute fool and I love him for it.
I imagine it going like that scene in Easy A, when her brother is like “but I’m adopted” and Stanley Tucci’s character SLAMS the cabinet door and yells “WHAT?? OH MY GOD, WHO TOLD YOU??”
And Fiona’s like “Last week when Rimmy Tim was accused of stealing art from the museum you said how dare someone accuse you of making art less available to people, you only steal from private collection jackasses.”
“Ok but I corrected myself! He wouldn’t make art less available!”
“Jeremy you dumbass the entire costume is hanging in your closet.”
“Maybe I was fucking Rimmy Tim! How would you know?”
“We all know youre too busy fucking Michael to pull that shit.”
“….i hate everyone.”
Like yes this man who disguises himself as a neon tornado may not be as inconspicuous as he thinks, shocking I know.
So… Ok. Hear me out.
Jeremy first joins the crew as… Not a fan, per se, but a guy with a minor criminal background who finds the Fakes fascinating. Mostly keeping an eye on headlines, following the police chases on the news. Ok, so he kind of drew their logo for them, what about it?
He’s always figured that the wild shit they get up to is a product of a bunch of big personalities with bigger voices, all combining to result in some batshit heist ideas. Where else would using a fire truck as an getaway vehicle come from? What singular person would come up with some of those codenames? Peef Rimgar? Fedge Gondola? Surely that’s a group of people throwing letters at a wall, right?
And he still thinks that, for the first few months. Everybody tossing in their two cents, and the crew comes to an agreement on what should stick.
Except… Jeremy starts to notice a pattern. At first he thinks he’s imagining it, is just latching on to this thought because he and Gavin didn’t exactly get along in the beginning. Ok, he found Gavin ridiculously grating and full of himself with nothing to back it up. Same difference.
But Gavin does have something to back up his smugness. Because you see, this pattern that Jeremy noticed? All of the best ideas come from Gavin. The best names, too, though maybe less important. Every successful heist stems from Gavin’s input. Every outrageous high they’ve ever ridden… It usually starts with Gavin saying “So, what if we…” and the rest of the crew teases him, Michael calls him a moron, and then they go along with it anyway. It’ll at least make a good story, they always say.
Gavin just has this knack for knowing what will work. He’ll pluck a plan out of thin air that absolutely should not work… But it does. Robbing some fuck-off billionaire’s mansion on a random Tuesday with very little prep should not end well. Except yeah, they’ve managed to show up right during a shift change and all the guards are too distracted with small talk to notice the priceless paintings being marched out by guys in painter’s suits. Anybody else would figure extra guards means extra trouble, but no. Gavin’s right on the money.
In the beginning, Jeremy dismissed every one of Gavin’s left field thoughts, but now?
Now he’s the first one to back him up. Gavin doesn’t have to explain his reasoning or lay out anything for Jeremy- Jeremy buys in the second the words are out of Gavin’s mouth. Because in the end, whatever his plan is, it’ll work out for the best. It’ll be a good take and a better time.
Hell, just the extraordinary experience of knowing Gavin is worth it all in the end.
Follow up to the group post of my FAHC Sims household. Here’s them in individual pictures so you can see their Traits