#faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

Omg guys this new 100% legit collab it's insane! I can't believe Dawko, Mark and Matt got together just for Bonnie! Those absolute madmen y'all!

#i am Sobbing and shaking #this is the best inside joke that has ever existed on the FNAF universe dkdkskxlsk #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #dawko #markiplier #matpat #fnaf ruin #faicye speaks

[compromisedandconfused]

here ya go @anxious-little-faicye

“Unus, there’s... nothing is there.”

“You don’t know that, y-,” a gasp, “You can’t know that.” 

“I do,” and a chuckle, “Don’t you know, I know everything-“

“No you don’t!”  “Aw, are you feeling jealous? I know there is nothing, and I know the sun rises and falls and the moon trails after, I know how you breathe; I Know. I Know what there is and how it is. You know, that I can guide you.”  “There is nothing that you understand.”  “Unus, I Know everything that can be known.” “You know but you don’t understand! The Sun rises, and you know there is nothing but you don’t understand that Nothing has its own name and must be something, something that I can feel! The Sun rises and you know the moon follows but you do not understand why, you don’t know what it is to - to follow something that outshines you and think it is better because it feasts on attention and it burns - a truly glorious power, to hurt those that try to love it,” gasps, heaving for air. “The sun will rise and the moon will follow but that’s not the point, it was never the point.”  “You are not thinking clearly, irrational as ever. If you would let me-“ “You know everything and it is useless without me! There is something there, in the nothing, and I understand it, I Understand what it is and I call it by name and you are useless without me.” Annus has boasted for all his life. Maybe it was centuries ago that it began, speaking of his grand victories to Achilles who cried for his love; suggested a plot to Roman senators. Maybe it was less than a year ago, donning a white suit, promising the end to a hypnotized audience. Taking off that suit in a desert. Always, always, talking, not comprehending the burning in his throat.  With so little time, what else is there to do? Annus sits and listens, and swallows down the burning in his throat.  “You know,” and now he’s walking forward, and now he’s invasive, and now Annus is lost without that burning in his throat but he finds it on Unus’ eyes, in his being, and how could it be there, how could it have left him, what is there is there, what exists is constant, what exists does not change with no precedent. “How I breathe,” Unus continues, and the fire spreads. “Oxygen in, Carbon Dioxide out. You do not understand why.” Annus sits. With so little time, what else is there to do? “You will never understand why. You do not get that luxury,” his head tilts and, and, what else is there to understand? he breathes because his heart beats, his heart beats because his brain, his autonomic nervous system tells it to, because-  “Unless, you agree to let my guide you in the world that you cannot comprehend.” Bastard, Annus thinks.  “You hear it.” Unus says. “there’s no reason to. there is nothing here to make that noise. only you.” And Annus is not a coward, does not feel fear, is brave, is bravado, is so, so afraid of that noise, it clogs his arteries and his heart does not move, sensory cortex in overdrive, occipital lobe sent racing, run run run, but not too fast, don’t you run too fast, because if you outrun it, if you outrun it you will be without it, out there, where there is nothing. There is nothing there, Unus. “You know what it means. I know you do. I know you fear it. “ and the bastard smiles. “I understand. “it will end, and that nothing, that darkness, that empty, that something, will take you whole, and what will you do? In that nothing, what will you do when you are certain you do not exist?” “Stop it.” “Crumble to dust? Lie there rotting into atoms? What will you do with all that quiet?”  “I will not go! I will not go into the nothing! there is nothing, and i will never walk into, blindsided, foolish -“ there is no wall behind him. He cannot take another step back.  “There is no nothing. you know there is darkness. you know there is quiet. but you don’t understand what it is.” A whisper. “You know that the ticking means. you know it better than i will. How much time is there left?”  “Less than 60 days,” and there is his footing - when had he lost it? “Where is it coming from?”  “Nowhere. the occipital lobe perceives a sound with no source-“ “It is coming,” and his voice is gentle, is forgiving, is too soft a thing for a black suit, “From the nothing.  “If you want peace, Annus, if you want to live, to live forever, to live until you are tired, to see another 61 days, come with me, into the night. Into the nothing. it is kind, i promise.” And the fire burns, it bubbles and boils and simmers to light a trail, down a hall, down a forest, down a lakeside, down an ocean trench, down a military trench, through a desert, to a clock, where the Nothing was.  “Tick tock,” it says. “Tick tock.”  there is no such thing as nothing. “Come with me,” Unus says, “and we will keep the clock from stopping.”  “What - How- This is not possible - “ “You don’t have to understand, not now.” Unus says. “But if you will teach me what you know, I will show you what I see.”  And he holds out a hand.  Annus takes it. With so little time left, what else is there to do?

#my writing #unus annus

[anxious-little-faicye]

jake lockley is the physical protector of the system and you can take that headcanon from my cold dead hands-

#yes i will die on this hill #istg if disney makes a season 2 and turns him into the stereotypical 'bad alter' #also hi its been a while #moon knight #jake lockley #marc spector #steven grant #d.i.d system #moonknight #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

anyways I'm gonna go cry over the fact that Gregory got turned into an antagonist (and I mean the actual Gregory, NOT the mimic) and over his' and Cassie's friendship, see ya' ✌

#/hj #no buf fr WHY STEEL WOOL W H Y #the canon ending + roxanne's speech had me like #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin dlc #fnaf ruin #fnaf cassie #gregory fnaf #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

OH SHIT I COMPLETELY FORGOT, HAPPY BIRTHDAY @markiplier

Thank you for being such a huge inspiration for all of us- for teaching us to never give up on pursuing our dreams no matter how crazy they are. Can't wait to see what new crazy projects you have planned, and I can already tell that Iron Lung is gonna make it big! Enjoy yourself today <3

#markiplier #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

The FNAF Movie (no spoilers)

So, I just got back from watching the so awaited Five Nights at Freddy's movie, and boy oh boy... I can't even put into words how emotional I am. It was such a wild, crazy, amazing thing to actually be sitting down on a cinema and watch a movie I waited for- what, 8 years? I remember being a child and first learning about the game through ✨youtube✨ (as most of us did let's be honest), and I'm not exaggerating when I say that changed my life forever. I got into gaming and social media because of it, I made some of my best friends because of it (shout out to the gang I used to rp FNAF with on elementary school), I discovered my interests and passions that shaped who I was and who I am, and it all started out because of a silly horror game about haunted animatronics.

And today? Today it wasn't me that went to see that movie. It was the lonely, shy 9 year old girl that got bullied at school because she liked "weird boy stuff" and hanged out with boys because they understood her. It was the 10 year old girl that saw FNAF 3 and 4 come out and discovered she loved to uncover the lore of the franchise and watched about a million theory videos. It was the 11 year old girl that watched lived as two youtubers played Sister Location the day it came out. It was the 15 year old teenager that rediscovered her love for the franchise and found Matpat's channel and started to make her own theories. It was that 16 year old teen that read the first trilogy of FNAF books and from then on took it upon herself to know every single detail about the story, plus finding out about our beloved King Of Five Nights At Freddy's™ and watched his FNAF playlist top to bottom.

It was them.

So I went there- with my crappy Vanny mask I made in 3 days, with the Freddy pushy I've had since I was 11, with my dad' stolen purple shirt, and honestly? I had the time of my life. I was at the edge of my seat the whole movie, screaming and hitting (lovingly /j) my friends every time a very specific detail came out, giggling and kicking my feet once You Know Who appeared or when something that matched the lore perfectly happened. And once me and my friends came out, we were all still yelling and singing our lungs out to FNAF songs. It was more that I could've hoped for.

I won't go into much detail on this post, because I wanna keep it as much spoiler-free as I can, but I'm just gonna say this... This movie was a hug from Scott Cawthon to all fans of the franchise, especially those that have been here from the very beginning. It was his gift. His way of saying 'thank you'. Sure, some plot points were absolute bonkers, and to be fair it lacked a bit of the Spooky Factor and more gore. But overall... I FREAKING LOVED EVERY MOMENT OF IT. I felt the same excitement that when I first discovered the games and started to get into the lore. You can tell that a lot of heart and soul was put into this, and that it wasn't made for a quick cash grab.

Was it worth the wait? Well, that depends on how you wanna see it. Keep in mind that this is planned to be a trilogy, so it has to have some loose plot points in order to set the ground for a second movie- let alone leave stuff out from the games and books. Is wasn't groundbreaking, and no, it doesn't include every single detail about the story. But it was a perfect introduction to the universe, and I think that's all it's set up to be. But I personally thought it was SO worth it and, let's be real, we've waited 8 fucking years for this! Even if it turned out to be a piece of crap (which it isn't), I would still be excited.

Anyway, yeah, was the movie perfect? No. Was a bit weird and confusing at some points? Yes. But it was made for the fans, for those of us that FNAF played a huge role in our lives as kids, and for those of us who just discovered the franchise not so long ago. It was made with love- for the games, for the creator, and for all of us. The fans that have built an amazing community that still stands strong today, a community filled with incredibly talented people like artists, singers, animators, youtubers, theory crafters (you're doing God's Work jsdhsj), cosplayers, editors, writers, the list just goes on and on. It was made with all of us in mind. So as broken and confusing as it might be, is beautiful. What represents is beautiful. And hey, it wouldn't be FNAF if it weren't broken and confusing am I right fellas?

*cries in Theorist*

So I guess my final thoughts are just... Thank you.

Thank you Scott Cawthon for all those years of scares and joy you have given me, thank you for making the game that would shape my life forever, thank you for loving your fans as much as you do, and thank you for not giving up on this movie despite all the things that happened along the way. You might have fucked up big time on some things, but I would be lying to myself if I said I don't appreciate you. Thank you for the best moments of my life.

And thank YOU, Five Nights at Freddy's community for everything you have done these years. If the franchise is what it is today is because it always had an amazing and creative fanbase backing it up and making sure it never died, no matter what sticks and stones came our way. I am so proud to be a part of this, and I hope we'll still be together many years to come.

And thank me, for making it alive and in one piece to the FNAF movie. Damn it took a lot of pain to get here, but I did it... I survived this long. And I can survive even longer.

I hope you can stay alive 5 more nights for this :)

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf movie no spoilers #review #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

Dear Unus Annus:

Hi. It's been a while huh. Another year, another 365 days have passed, another chance to remember you. Because today you have a whole community at your feet dressed up in black and white, remembering what it once was. Today we cry, we mourn, we laugh, we tell stories of stupidly insane videos, we come together once again as the family we used to be, because today we don't forget. We will never forget. How could we? Pee sauna (god why Evan), the dance of Italy, three mile mark, meaty claws, scp amy, camp unus annus, the grip was loose, heehoo, and so on so forth.

Yeah, we wouldn't even dare to forget those memories, because at the end of the day that's what matters. I hate to bring the cliche phrase we Unus Annus fans are tired of quoting but, it's right: "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened". Of course we're allowed to feel like shit because yeah, it hurts. Every last bit of it, hurts. The good, the bad, the funny bits, the sad bits, everything. But like Mark said... that is the beauty of it. It was just a Youtube channel trying to send a message to the world, and my God the world replied back. It managed to impact us all, to cut through us, to give us a new perspective on life, to help us on our darkest times- and is all because a couple of friends wanted to say something. Something worth remembering. Something that years down the line, people would still talk about. Something so powerful, yet so simple.

Memento mori. Remember you will die.

... so don't waste any second of it. Yes, not every moment can be this huge life-changing, meaningful thing, there are gonna be some things that simply are just that, a breeze that flies by, unimportant. But I think those are the most impactful, the type you do not really appreciate until you lose. The small details that make everything worth it, that gives life a purpose, meaning. We have to make the most of what we have with what we can, because one day it will be all gone, one day you'll wake up and realize you have lost it all. And when that happens. Well.

Smile because it happened. What really, truly matters isn't the fact that is gone... Is that it once was. We once were.

And as for me? There is so much I want to tell you, so much that has changed. I have changed. Evolved. Turned into what I hope a better person. Because this year was the worst one of my life, and I wish I were exaggerating. Anxiety crisis after anxiety crisis after anxiety crisis, countless panic and anxiety attacks, physical symptoms that could freeze even the strongest of men- palpitations that wouldn't stop, numbness on my face and fingers, a feeling like I couldn't talk without messing languages up, and above all... A constant feeling that I was going to die.

Every night I went to bed thinking "this is it, I won't open my eyes tomorrow". Every day I woke up with my heart pounding in my ears and my limbs frozen in fear for a threat that didn't even exist. And the pressure on my chest, God, that fucking pressure... I never felt such an anguish as that before. It was debilitating, exhausting, frustrating. I felt terrified, I simply could not live. Locked once again on my house, but also in my own mind- the worst prison a person could have. I stoped everything.

That until I realized what was going on: I needed to let it all out. And so I spoke with the people I needed to talk, started medication, worked on myself after 18 years of life... And I began to live again. To feel alive. I found my own voice, my burning flame inside that drives me to heal, to become a better human being each day, to never give up. Hell, before i hated going out, now you won't see me in my home. I hanged out with friends more, I talked through every single issue I had, I grew.

Now see me here, Unus Annus. Two years after you left us, after I ran away from my abusive household, one year after I started with my anxiety crisis and the start -even if I didn't knew at the moment- of my healing journey. I am a new person, I grew in every way, shape and form you can imagine, I died. I died so the new me could be reborn from the ashes, I died so my inner child could let go, I died so the anguish could be left in the past were it belongs. I died to face death itself. Look her in the eyes and say "I accept you". I'm not going to say I still don't fear it, but I know it is not my time yet. I know when the time comes, I'll be ready. I know death, death makes everything worth it. The fun times with my friends and the activities as a camp counselor at my school and the fireplace we hang around after putting the kids to sleep with the rest of my co-counselors and the laying down with my best friend forgetting about our problems for a bit and the laughs and the pain and the tears and the everything, the nothing, the joy of being alive. The same joy Unus Annus taught me.

If I am here standing today is because two people decided to start a channel that would have a begining, a middle, and an end. And that end, that moment where the Livestream cut off and a million people were left to stare at the void of a black screen, that is the lesson I take from it. That is the moment that saved me. That is the moment that taught me that nothing is temporary, so you better make the most out of it. Enjoy, enjoy for all those times you couldn't, never waste a single opportunity to say what you think and do what you feel is right and risk it all for that crazy idea you have and live. Live because life is a beautiful thing l, and after 18 years on this Earth I can finally see that. Live like there's no tomorrow because fuck, there might not be one. Live because no one will give you back the seconds you missed out. Live. Love because you deserve. Live because there is no because, just for the sake of living.

Live, live remembering you will die. The end will come, and when it does... Go out with a goddamn bang. Go knowing it was all worth it.

Life was worth it.

Unus Annus was worth it.

So thank you. I know each time I do one of these memorial letters I say the same thing but, I don't care. Thank you Mark, thank you Ethan, thank you Amy, thank you Evan, thank you Lixian, thank you Marcus, thank you Rachel, thank you Vincent, thank every single person that had a role to play so that the insane ass project of this channel could be made into a Thing. Thank you for creating such an impactful message that has affected me in the best of ways. Thank you for saving my life, being there for me when all I needed was a reason to keep going, and knowing that another Unus Annus video would come tomorrow and that I had to be there for the ending pushed me through one of my darkest times. Thank you for never giving up even with a FUCKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC in the way. Thank you for taking the time to remember this channel in each anniversary. Thank you for being a friend, a counselor, a distraction in the middle of pain, a father, a brother, a safe space to be in. Thank you for creating such a wonderful community, I met some of my best friends here. Thank you for inspiring me to push my work out there, to never give up on my projects, to pursue my dreams even if they are absurd- because who knows, that crazy idea everyone is telling you is imposible could be the best decision. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for everything.

I miss you, and I will continue to miss you every day of my life, but I promise I will always smile when I do. You were and always will be a legend, like it or not. You'll always be in my heart, always, until the day we can meet again in whatever weird way death works.

Thank you @crankgameplays, thank you @markiplier. Thank you for the adventure of my life.

Memento mori, until the next year,

Unus Annus.

#and as always this isn't a goodbye #just a 'see you latter' #memento mori #Unus Annus #markiplier #crankgameplays #amy nelson #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

being nonbinary is a constant struggle between wanting to have short fluffy hair like a tiktok e-boy or long wavy red hair like a medieval fantasy maiden

#nonbinary #enby #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbt memes #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

I just finished watching the entirety of Ninjago (minus Dragons Rising but hEY, I'm only taking into account the main show) and...

holy shit

I am in Shambles but in the best way possible

what a series huh

#I'll prolly post a full rant tomorrow #I'm still processing everything but HOLY SHIT #WHY DOES A LEGO SHOW HURT SO MUCH 😭 #Lloyd my beloved #ninjago #ninjago crystalized #lego ninjago #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

oh yeah I forgot to mention, I'm officially back on Tumblr (this time fr jsjsjs). So hi everyone! It's been a while hasn't it?

#hope yall are doing well #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

it may sound dumb af, and probably because it is, but... It's a scary thought to think your comfort characters would despise you. That they would hate your guts. That they wouldn't waste a single second to say "hello" to you, let alone help you

#i hope theyd like me #shitpost #comfort character #writing #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

I've already said what I needed to say on the video's comment section, but I feel like I need to put it here too:

Thank you Technoblade for everything you've done, for all the laughs you've given us when we most needed it, for your ability to take us to a different world with just a simple story, for all the confront you've brought us with your videos and streams, for always being such a supportive human being to everyone and creating a safe space for many, thank you... For being you, and never loosing yourself. I really hope that wherever you are right now, you're finally getting some deserved rest. I might not have known your channel for that long, but ever since moment one you captivated my heart, you sarcastic, funny bastard. Thank you, and I really mean it, thank you.

But your phrase still remains true: "Technoblade never dies". Because this is just the end of a cycle, but your legacy, your memories, your friends, your content, the life you left behind, THAT is Technoblade, THAT is what will always live on. The blade never dies, he just changes. Thank you for everything.

And to Alex's family, friends, and fanbase, I am deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, and just know that whatever you might be feeling right now is valid. Death is strange, death is scary, death is agonizing. But you are loved, you are seen, and you are not alone in what your feeling. Allow yourself to grieve, in any way you can. You're not alone, and Techno's legacy doesn't stop at death. He will always be with us all, in any way he can.

God, he would have probably hated all this sappy thing, but HEY! Grief process, what can I tell you. Don't cringe from the afterlife.

RIP Technoblade, you were a legend, and you will be missed so goddamn much.

#I am in shock #like im still waiting for him to upload another video saying sm like 'HA gotcha nerds' anytime #but i know that's not going to happen #thank you techno for everything you've done #your character brought me so much comfort and your sense of humor was like no one else's #you were a talented and above all wonderfully kind man #thank you Alex #technoblade #faicye speaks #tw death

[anxious-little-faicye]

VAMOS VAMOS ARGENTINA

VAMOS VAMOS A GANAR

QUE ÉSTA BARRA QUILOMBERA

NO TE DEJA, NO TE DEJA DE ALENTAR 🇦🇷

#GO AND WIN THE WORLD CUP GO #VAMOS CARAJOOOO #argentina #fifa wc 2022 #world cup #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

guess who's back 👀

#i lived bitch #sorry i disappeared for so long #a lot of Stuff happened #but i think im back now #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

Not to get too sappy or anything but, I just wanted to wish @markiplier an amazing birthday! Thank you for never giving up on your insane ideas and for being such a huge inspiration to all of us- for motivating us go out there and create our own stuff, for always being that encouragement that we need to keep going, for pushing us to pursue our own dreams.

Honestly you've helped me more than you can imagine, and words cannot describe how grateful I am for finding your channel and joining this amazing, lovable, crazy community. Thank you for all you've done, and for more years of brilliant projects and videos

Love ya' man, happy birthday Mark ♥️

#markiplier #mark fischbach #birthday #youtube #faicye speaks

[anxious-little-faicye]

One Day

One day I'll be okay

one day I'll be able to wake up with a sleepy smile on my face, no tension on my arms, no tension on my legs

one day I'll go to school and raise my hand, without thinking that will be the last time

one day I'll hang out with friends, laughing so hard I'll forget to shake my limbs while locked in a bathroom, away from everyone else

one day my psychiatrist will say, "this is the last time you and I meet, for you are now healed with no burdens to bare"

one day my mother will look at me without that dissapointment in her eyes, knowing that her child no longer feels bad

one day I'll be able to say I finally made it! I found my happiness and all was well

one day the spasms will stop, my heart won't pound like it's running out of time, my hands won't tingle at the slightest sensation, my mind won't scream something's not right

one day the pain will stop.

But until that day comes, I have to keep going, I can't just give up

and trust me, giving up would be easy, throwing the towel and welcome heaven or hell as an old pal

and maybe I can't raise my hand not thinking I'm going to die

and maybe I can't hang out with friends while shaking my body begging someone to help

and maybe I can't expect a "you are healed" from my psychiatrist without a couple few more months in meds

and maybe my mother can't comprehend that I'm not doing this on purpose, and her dissapointment will still remain

and maybe I can't truly say that I'm happy yet, even though that hurts to get

and maybe all my symptoms will still be there, and maybe the pain for now will not go away.

However, I can say that I'm trying, that I'm giving it my best

because every morning I wake up and choose to live another day

because I still go to school, even if sometimes I have to excuse myself

and I still go out with friends, if only for a brief moment feeling safe

and I am able to tell my psychiatrist "I'm not healed yet, but I made some good progress and I am getting there"

and I joke and laugh with my mother, knowing deep down that she does care

and step by step, piece by piece of the puzzle that is my anxious mind, I am finding my happiness again

and the symptoms are still there, but no longer do they stop me from living my life, because I've suffered long enough and I am finally taking a stand

so one day, one day I'll be okay

but until that day comes, I've decided to fight until my last breath

For I am a warrior, and anxiety won't win this game.

#a vent poem cause anxiety has been a bitch yay ✨ #vent #vent post #poem #poetry #generalized anxiety disorder #gad #mental health #faicye speaks