#failnation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nando161mando · 5 months

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rainyfestivalsweets · 5 months

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Wow. They killed The Dollar Tree. I used to find so many low calorie goodies here.

Not anymore. Dang.

Very sparse pickings. Is it all Dollar Trees? Just this one?? Ugg

#healthy lifestyle #getting healthy #losing weight #healthy eating #fitblr #healthy habits #operation lose this gut #weight loss #operationlosethisgut #weight loss journey #dollar tree #tumblr fails #failure #fail #failnation #failarmy

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j4ckme · 5 months

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#politically incorrect #funny pics #idgaf #funny #lmao #wtf #dank memes #seriously wtf #memes #seriously funny #fail #failnation #failarmy

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stardewmama · 6 months

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Man I was not prepared for this. Could I have beaten them? Hell yes I have the infinity sword. But they scary dragon creatures...

😭

I'm just not into combat. That's always my last skill to level up. I'd almost say I'd rather go fishing 🎣 but I hate that as well...

Why do I play this game?

Stardew=Life

#game play #stardew valley #nintendo switch #combat footage #chicken out #sdv farmer #failnation #video games

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gianluc30 · 2 years

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#failure #fun #without fail #wtf #viral #failnation #9gag

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cypheroxide · 7 months

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WARNING FOR ALL MALES FROM ME when buying a security device for a loved one.

Last weekend I saw something at The Gun Show that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife ######. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.

The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to ###### what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Leo looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Leo (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. He is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.

Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Taser in another.

The directions said that:

a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant;

a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and

a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.

I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with his head cocked to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE... !!! I AM CERTAIN I JUST MET JESUS!!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note:

If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Taser,

one note of caution:

There is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!

A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

· My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.

· The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.

· My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.

· My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

· I had no control over the drooling.

· Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.

· I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.

I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

(found on the inter webs, not really me)

#reddit refugee #196 #comedy #too shy #ow that hurt #failnation #fucking unbelievable

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reachleechmedia · 1 year

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115 negative review, tabloid rodent legacy. Reach Leech Media - Clickbait Shittypedia! Zionism fail. Tabloid fail.

#britain #culture #medialife #failnation #free palestine

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hanothingimpossible · 2 months

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Every sunrise brings a new opportunity to make today better than yesterday. Let's seize the day with positivity and purpose!

#positive #quotes #failnation #motivation #positivevibe

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basicbychoice · 4 months

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Life has a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way, and for many of us, the fear of failure can be paralyzing. For as long as I can remember, I have done everything in my power to avoid failure and hold onto financial security. I never wanted to be in a position where I didn't have enough and lived in fear of accumulating debt. However, despite my best efforts, I found myself facing my greatest fear – failure and significant debt. The disappointment and anger at myself were palpable as I reckoned with my new reality. How did I end up here? Why didn't I just play it safe?

In the midst of frustration, I realized that my perception of failure had been skewed. Failure wasn't the crushing end I always feared it to be, but rather, a catalyst for growth and learning. It became clear to me that although tomorrow's outcome remains uncertain, I am now equipped with invaluable lessons to carry forward.

In embracing failure, I have gained a deeper understanding of life's true priorities. I recognize the importance of taking risks – for it is within the realms of uncertainty that we often uncover our greatest potential. Above all, I've come to understand the significance of pursuing our dreams and aspirations. The risk of failing at something we love is far more favorable than living a life devoid of passion and purpose.

Today, I stand with newfound confidence, embracing my failures and daring to set even grander goals. I have accepted that it's not solely about the destination but the experiences and wisdom cultivated along the journey. I am prepared for the next chapter of my life, armed with a clear vision and an unwavering determination to achieve it. While I may be down at this moment, I hold onto the belief that my comeback is on the horizon.

To those who find themselves in a similar position – feeling defeated and burdened – I encourage you to refocus and trust in God's timing. Have faith that His plan for you far exceeds your wildest imagination. Learn from your mistakes, put in the work, and believe in your capacity for greatness.

As I move forward, I do so with the understanding that life's trials and tribulations have equipped me with an unyielding strength. I am ready to face the world, armed with the lessons learned, and the audacity to reach for the very best that life has to offer. The road ahead is uncertain, but with faith and perseverance, I am poised to conquer it all. Here's to embracing failure and rising stronger than ever before. Let's be great.

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knowledgevariabledarcy · 6 months

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youtube

#failarmy #failure #conor benn to make shock ring return this weekend in orlando with star still not licensed in uk after failed drug tests #failnation #funny fails #Youtube

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xanderos · 7 months

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Will someone, anyone, please explain this to me?????

#send help #funny stuff #failnation #explain this #planet earth #doomed

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nando161mando · 8 months

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"Elon musk is shit ass terrible at everything except, somehow, convincing certain, often weirdly powerful people that he isn't shit ass terrible.

And they Want to be convinced because, deep down, they're worried they too might be shit ass terrible, and they need the reciprocal reassurance to keep going."