#fair. i just? wish i was better to begin with lmao.... i wish i had the knowledge then that i do now i guess because like. i would Love to

[akkivee]

randomly crying about iwasaki-san and hayama-san seeing each other as rivals and the symbiotic friendship that formed because of that relationship 😭😭😭

#this is vee speaking #iwasaki-san was sakakihara-san’s guest on one of his web shows the other day and they were an entertaining pair lol #unrelated to the post lmao but iwasaki-san is very able to be a tsukkomi or a boke depending on the situation #and it’s just kinda funny he defaults to tsukkomi around sakakihara-san lmao #anyway during the show the 9th live came up (obviously lol) #and during rehearsals he was struggling a fair amount with division rep battle actually #besides his own expectations as a performer what was a huge motivator for him #was how even during rehearsals hayama-san was blowing it out of the park and he wanted to keep up 🥺 #and then he mentioned that again during the hangout stream after asanuma-san mentioned being impressed by their rehearsals #with how hayama-san stayed with iwasaki-san during their practices until he felt like he had the lyrics down 🥺🥺🥺🥺 #hayama-san’s a natural on stage and iwasaki-san admires that lol #(hayama-san had his own worries while performing that song too tho he puts a lot of thought into his performances) #and hayama-san has always been envious of iwasaki-san’s top tier rap skills from the beginning #and that’s also helped fuel his own desires to get better at rap lol #i wonder if they still have the nagosaka group chat 😭😭😭😭 #hayama-san mentioned they’d tease each other when they felt particularly upstaged lmao #some ​shounen mcs out here wishes their rivalry was as uplifting and fun as iwasaki-san’s and hayama-san’s lol #c: seiyuu stuff

[boobo13cambridge]

Send That Picture Promise I'm A Keep It | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x f.Reader

Warnings: Fluff, sexting, masturbation (m.)

Summary: What’s it like texting when your husband is a really busy athlete? 

A/N: Hello, everyone! I’ve been trying to finish up all my old requests before I get to the new ones. I was actually supposed to post this May 5th, and its now June, oops. I’ve seen all your prompts for the new Kylian smut, and I love all your ideas. I’ll try my best to get them done because for once I have nothing to this summer except find a job, lmao. I swear having a job ready for when you graduate is not easy at all. Uni should’ve prepared us better for the post-grad life. Anyways, as always don’t forget to like, comment, and repost! Enjoy, lovelies ❣️

Kylian: bébé 

Kylian: bébééé

Kylian: bééébééé

Kylian: béééébéééééééééé

Kylian: Arrête de m’ignorer 😢 (stop ignoring me)

Kylian: jte veux  (i want you)

Kylian: j besoins de toi (i need you)

Kylian: envoie t seins (send your tits)

The incessant buzzing of your phone that was conveniently located in your back pocket was proving to bea major distraction as you were trying your best to follow what your boss was trying to say. You knew who it was without even having to look, the culprit - a certain brown-eyed professional athlete who was called away on international duty. 

While you wished you could be there to cheer him on as France played against Gibraltar in Faro, you were unfortunately tied up at work as you had to deal with an important client. As a divorce lawyer, you were constantly surprised to learn just how selfish and idiotic some people could be. You’d think a firefighter would be too busy trying to save people to have two mistress with three children each. Alas, humanity never failed to disappoint. To add fuel to the fire, this particular client absolutely refused to comprise on anything and insisted that he still loved his wife despite being a piece of shit.

Seeing all these cases, you were grateful that Kylian wasn't like that. To be honest, in the beginning of your relationship, you were very self-conscious as footballers were known to be cheaters. A few people (who were no longer in your life) warned you that your husband would inevitably turn out like most people in his profession and leave you for a model. Kylian, on the other hand,  turned out to be nothing like that. He was consistently loving, truthful, and patient with you. The media's attempts to tear your relationship apart still pained you deeply, especially the heartbroken look in Kylian's eyes as you shouted at him, accusing him without even giving him a chance to explain.

But returning to the present, your boss finally released you from the conversation as her secretary reminded her that her husband was waiting on the line. Your boss, an intimidating woman whom you respected greatly, was the only one who hired you straight after graduation, despite most law firms turning you away. You suspected they viewed you as nothing more than a trophy wife destined to retire after having a few kids. Céleste Beauregard was the only one who gave you a chance, and for that you would be eternally grateful.

Walking back to your desk, you pull out your phone and look at the messages Kylian send you. Letting out a snort at his antics, you reply.

You: t’a pas un match à jouer toi?  (don’t you have a match to play?)

Kylian: c koi le rapport bb??    (what’s the correlation baby??)

You: tu c ke chui au travail kyky  (you know I’m at work kyky)

Kylian: allez bb juste une photo 🥺 (cmon baby its just one picture)

You: ds t rêve (in your dreams)

Kylian: fais pas ca (don’t do this)

Kylian: arrête de faire ta difficile (stop being so difficult)

You: t un gros pervert Mbappé 🤢 (you’re a big pervert Mbappé)

You: j d’autres choses à faire ds la vie ke de t’envoyer d pics de mes seins              franchement  (I have better things to do than send you pics of my tits seriously)

You: t’a pas déjà d pics? (don’t you already have some?)

Kylian: j’en veux d fresh svp (I need new ones pls)

You: tu m’énerve (you’re annoying)

In moments like these, you couldn't help but appreciate having a private office with tinted glass. Glancing around cautiously to ensure no one was present, you carefully unbuttoned your dress shirt, unveiling a seductive, lacy red push-up bra. With one hand, you delicately squeezed your breasts together, your cheeks flushed crimson as you quickly snap a picture and send it to him. 

Buttoning your shirt, you feel a mixture of excitement and anticipation, as you nervously bit your lip, holding your breath as you observed the three blinking dots in your message thread. You couldn't help but giggle at doing something so risky at your workplace.

Kylian: putain bb chui bandé 🤤 (fuck bb i’m hard) 

Kylian: si tt là ça serait parti en branlette espagnole 😏 (if you were here I would’ve fucked your tits)

You: t dégeulasse 🙄 (youre disgusting)

Kylian: tu m’aimes pareille ❤️ (you love me tho)

You: vrm pas  (not really)

You: envoie moi t seins toi (you send me your tits)

Kylian: jpeux tenvoyer qq chose de mieux 😘 (i’ll send you something better)

Your heart raced with anticipation, a symphony of palpitations echoing in your chest, as you waited impatiently for your husband to send you a picture of himself.

As the picture popped up, you felt liquid heat pool in your panties as your breathing deepened looking at the nude Kylian had sent you. 

The dim lights showed his hand wrapped firmly around his throbbing cock. Your gaze was fixated on the engorged head of his member, a vibrant hue of crimson, as a drop of precum bubbled on top. You could feel yourself throbbing as you feasted on the photo. Waves of pleasure surged through your core, causing your body to pulse with an insatiable hunger.

You: merde kyky ta pas le droit de m’envoyer sa quand tu c ke jpeux rien   faire (shit kyky you can’t just send me this when you know i cant do anything about it)

Kylian: enjoy bb 😘

You: ??

You looked at his message confused, not really sure what he meant. A few minutes later, he sends you a video that ignited a blush so intense it flushed the very roots of your hair.

In the video, he moved with tantalizing slowness, his strong, veiny arms caressing his length with deliberate, seductive strokes. Each movement of his arm drove your senses ablaze. The air around you thickened with the sound of his sinful moans, weaving a symphony of pleasure that sent shivers down your spine.

Your eyes were fixated on the mesmerizing sight, unable to tear themselves away from the erotic scene playing on your small screen. Your breath hitched as he swiped a bead of precum, his fingers glistening with the essence of his desire. 

It was when a primal groan escaped his soft, pink lips with the sound of your name on the tip of his tongue that sent a blast of ecstasy through your body, electrifying every nerve ending with longing.

Unable to contain the building heat within you, you instinctively pressed your thighs together, seeking relief from the persistent throbbing that radiated from your slick core. 

The video was two minutes long, and you were burning up so fast. As you continued to watch the captivating video, your senses became heightened, every nuance and detail etching itself into your memory. The sheer eroticism of the scene, the raw sensuality exuding from his every movement, unleashed a whirlwind of desire within you.

With every gasp and moan that escaped his lips, you felt the reverberations deep within your core. His sinful utterance of your name was like a symphony of passion, intertwining with the symphony of your racing heart. 

As his fingers swept across his velvety skin, spreading the intoxicating precum, the ache between your thighs intensified. The throbbing in your core demanded attention, aching for release. The tension built, and with every second, you grew closer to the precipice of ecstasy.

It was almost a bittersweet torment, because as much as the video set aflame your desire for him, it also intensified the ache of longing for his physical presence. With a final, lingering stroke, the video came to an end, leaving you breathless and craving more. 

You: t vrm cruel kyky (you’re so cruel kyky)

Kylian: 😘😘 mmmhhh jte vois samedi? (mmmhhh see you saturday?)

You: non, viens mtn 🥺  (no, come now)

You: jte veux trop (i need you too much)

Kylian: hahah, tu c ke jpp princesse (hahah you know i can't princess)

Kylian: mais jvai marquer un but pour toi bb (but i’ll score a goal for you bb)

You: t mieux ❤️ 🙄 (you better)

You: jtm booboo ❤️ (ily booboo)

Kylian: jtm fort mon coeur ❤️ (ily so much my heart)

You: tu veux que je t’amène qq chose bb? Je c ke tu vas rester à l'hôtel avant le match au stade (do you want me to bring you something bb? I know you’re staying at a hotel before game at the stadium?)

Kylian: ouii, t seins 🤤 (yess, your boobs)

You: ugh bye 🙄

Your playful exasperation was evident as you bid farewell to the teasing suggestion. The exchange left a lingering sense of anticipation and passion in the air, as you both were eagerly waiting to see each other again. The thought of being in his arms, of holding him and kissing him, made you long for him so bad. Looking at the time, you quickly packed your stuff and rushed home, excited to be with him.

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian mbappe smut #kylian imagines #kylian mbappé #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian x reader #footballer blurb #psg #footballer fanfiction #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappe x y/n #mbappe #footballer x reader #footballer imagine

[tartigglez]

"mess with you?"

zhongli x f!reader (gn!reader until bonus section!)

・❥・slice of life/fluff

・❥・1.5k

・❥・HAPPY FRICKIN BIRTHDAY CELESTE!!!!!! MY FAV ZHONGLI KISSER! i hope this is an adequate gift, and i intended to make this much longer however if i did it would be like 2 weeks more late LMAO. i hope u had the most fabtabulous day ever, now everyone go check out @thesparklingwriter because she can write this man 8000000x better than me lollllll

・❥・SUGGESTIVE. VERY. dragon!li (bc celeste loves dragonli and i will push the agenda bc yes), physical touch, zhongli is the little spoon somehow, kisses, zhongli is a france-boo, you guys eat together, zhong is lowkey just nakedly vibin for a bit of this lol sorry, also if it doesn't make sense: xiao can't see windows cuz he's in bird form (they do that i swear)

waking up is never an easy feat, but being around him makes it a whole lot easier. on this particular morning however, you wake up rather annoyed, frustrated over the quality of the last portion of your slumber. yet opening your eyes would reveal that a small portion of golden-brown hair is rested upon the tip of your nose, lightly tickling it. so, this was the reason for your lack of quality sleep. 

even still, he is a sight to behold. such a graceful creature, large, scale-clad arms, shimmering horns and long, elegant tail meeting your eyes as he slumbered, quiet snores –which were closer to purrs– coming from somewhere in his chest, all whilst he’s curled up in a foetal position, your arm draped over his waist.

you assume he is soundly sleeping, moving slightly closer to him to nuzzle into his neck, this however would prove false, as his chest rises, a low pitched, loud yawn filling the room, practically bouncing off the walls.

“good morning, dear” he grumbles, voice lower than normal. you giggle as he turns to face you, stretching his limbs as he yawns once more. golden horns slowly begin to retract and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him before beginning to press gentle kisses against the skin of your neck. the ticklish sensation makes you laugh again, throwing your head back slightly to allow room for his in the crook of your neck.

“already? we just woke up!” you wheeze, rolling away from him as you turn your back to him. this would prove pointless though, because he immediately scooches to your side of the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head comfortably into the back of your neck.

“what are you implying? i merely wished to kiss you!” he says, but the playful tone in his voice tells you this question is rhetorical, and he knows full well what you were insinuating.

“you’re squishing me silly,” you whine, grabbing on to his hands, which met fair in the middle of your stomach. “you’re like a koala, but even then they wouldn’t have the strength to squash me like this” 

“are you calling me a koala? should i be offended?” he grumbles against the back of your neck, nuzzling even further into it, somehow.

“no, i’m calling you a brute” you chuckle, wriggling a little, trying to loosen his grip.

“i will have you know, “brute” is a compliment in dragon culture” he scoffed, loosening his grip a little.

“maybe i meant it as a compliment then” you mumble, turning back to him to peck his lips, snuggling up to him once again. 

“hm, i’m sure you did” he chuckles, “anyway, what time is it?” 

“i have no clue, let me check my phone” you let out a content sigh, grabbing your phone from the bedside, “ten thirty-ish. what does it matter anyway, we can lay around for a bit, no?” you question, eyes closing as you lean in to him. 

“have you forgotten, dear?” he whispers, hand making its way to your hip, thumb and index finger fiddling with the hem of your pyjama top, “check the date again”

upon staring at the glorious digits on your phone screen, you abruptly pull away from him, raising yourself up on one arm and grinning excitedly. “date day?” you question, voice high and squeaky compared to your normal tone.

its a tradition between you and zhongli that once a month, you would make time for a day with each other, no matter the situation. simply a day to exist in one another's presence. together you came up with the philosophy that it doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you’re with each other. 

“it is indeed “date day”, as you say” he laughs, “so, tell me. what would you like to do today, my lily?”, the question rolls off his lips like music as he too sits up, blanket moving to just cover his hips, barely. 

“anything,” you giggle, “as long as you’re there i don’t mind”. you step out of the bed, slipping on a pair of sweatpants and running to his side of the bed. “c’mon,” you laugh, grabbing his large hand by a couple of fingers, “lets get movin’ zhong!” 

“can you at least hand me some underwear, please?” he asks, laughing when your face morphs from pure joy to looking like you’ve seen a ghost. you oblige quietly though, moving to one of the dresser drawers, pulling out some boxers and giving them to him, albeit a little flustered. 

“what is it, my dear? you don’t remember last night?” he chuckles. its amusing how he is so nonchalant about such affairs with you, however if he were with anyone else, the topic would never even be thought about. 

“n-no, no i do, but how am i wearin-”

“i figured it would be only right of me to put them back on you. you were awake, but apparently so far gone don’t remember,” he laughs, acting calm about it when in reality his ears are turning a little red.

“rex lapis!” you exclaim, “don’t be so lewd!” you push his shoulder a little in a teasing manner, but he quite literally does not move a millimetre.  

“aha, i apologise my dear, your reactions are simply quite amusing, is all” he claims. putting the boxers on under the duvet before standing up in front of you, toned body catching your eye as one his gold-threaded arms makes its way towards yours, long fingers intertwining with yours. “shall we?”

“put a robe on at least! the neighbours might see you!” you giggle, dragging him in the direction of the closet, before throwing a silk robe his way. he looks so very eloquent as he puts it on, fine fabric smoothing over his skin, and his honey eyes look up at you when he’s done, walking towards your bedroom door, ready to go downstairs. 

zhongli is a surprisingly good cook, but that’s not relevant at all right now, because the first thing he does when he gets to the kitchen is boil the kettle and get out two plates, placing a large croissant on each one. 

you rub your eyes a little as you sit down at the table, staring at the all-butter pastries which seemed to make some sort of miraculous apparition in your home.

“where the heck did you get those croissants?” you ask, folding your arms at the table and plopping your chin on to them.

“i teleported to fontaine for them last night”

“last night?”

“yes, last night.”

“zhong…”

“mmm?”

“you were naked all of last night.”

“before that!” he laughs, “more like yesterday evening actually, i apologise for misspeaking” 

“you should be sorry! why did you go all the way to fontaine for croissants anyway? the ones in liyue are fine” you question, voice muffled by the sleeves of your pyjama top. 

“nothing beats authenticity, hm? what is it they say in fontaine, oui oui?”

“i’m not sure any person from fontaine has ever said that,” you cackle, as he sets down one of the plates in front of you, along with a cup of the tea he was just brewing. “thanks for the food anyway, can’t believe you went all the way to fontaine just for a couple of croissants”

“not a problem dear, if it’s for you i would do it every day” he speaks, tearing off a part of his croissant before -rather animatedly- swallowing it whole.

“dragons eat so weirdly” you laugh, chewing away at your own food.

“we don’t always eat like that, you realise?” 

“i know,” you giggle “i’m messing with you”

“you’re lucky, you’re the only person who has ever been allowed to mess with me”

“i’m grateful for that, y’know”

“i know, but now isn’t the time for philosophical conversations, let us just enjoy each others company today.”

“sounds good to me!”

“i’m never letting you go shopping again! seriously, how do we have three new colours of  eyeliner, six new vases and an entire pet bird”

“adeptus xiao does not count as a pet bird”

“are you sure about her, rex lapis? she has no respect for the adepti”

“calm, alatus. this is her form of humour. i would appreciate if you do not criticise her.”

“my apologies, i did not intend to offend you, i will take my leave now”

“XIAO THAT WINDOW ISN'T OPEN”

“ALATUS!”

“told you he was a pet bird”

“please just get me a blanket for this unconscious creature”

“going~”

sfw masterlist || nsfw masterlist || taglist: @lioria @celestetalkstoomuch

© tartigglez, 2023. do not copy, translate or repost, reblogs appreciated

i can't write in the present tense, happy birthday celeste!

#zhongli x reader #zhongli fluff #genshin #genshin impact fluff #genshin x reader #cw suggestive #zhongli x you

[gravehags]

if you're still looking for prompts, dare i say...reader and cumulus thoroughly taking care of each other while the cardinal watches, tied up and helpless :3 (the internet has been out these last few days and now i crave filth lmao)

-unhinged family anon

this is ticking all my boxes in more ways than one so naturally i have to write it

Pairing: Cumulus x f!Reader x Cardinal Copia

Words: ???

Tags: bondage, voyeurism, titty sucking, cunnilingus, dildos

~~~

“Told you the red would look good on him,” you say to the ghoulette currently lazing next to you on the bed.

Both of you are nude and are content to idly run your hands over one another, watching the mismatched eyes of the man tied up in a chair directly across from the bed dart between your bodies. He looks breathtaking, your Cardinal, with strands of silvering brown hair stuck to his damp forehead, chest heaving and straining against the rope binding him to his seat. Cumulus was thorough and snug in her knots, allowing very little movement for him and you’re impressed by the results. His fair, freckled skin is flushed and you note the way his hips make tight little circles in a pathetic effort to get some relief to his hard and reddened cock.

“Mmmm, don’t you love it when he looks so desperate?”

You chuckle, nosing against the ghoulette’s hair with your hand drifting across her belly.

“So sweet,” you coo as you begin to pepper kisses along her jawline, “I think he deserves a treat.”

In a smooth movement, Cumulus shifts her body towards you and captures your lips in a languorous, wet kiss. You loved the decadence that came with being with her and loved even more when you had a rapt audience. The two of you giggling into each other’s mouths between kisses has the jaw of the bound Cardinal hanging open as if he wishes to speak, but he knows better. Knows that he’s just a simple spectator to your pleasure. And boy were you two ready to put on a show. With a swift movement you straddle the ghoulette and arch your back for the Cardinal’s enjoyment. Cumulus laughs out loud and delivers a sweet, sharp smack to your ass.

“Don’t torture the poor man, love,” she grins, hands kneading the flesh of your hips.

“Why wouldn’t I when he likes it so much? Don’t you, caro?”

Dutifully, no words leave his mouth but he frantically nods and worries at his lower lip with his teeth. Feeling devilish, you lower your mouth to suck and nip at the ghoulette’s collarbone, leaving a necklace of dark bruises across her soft flesh. When your hand comes up to cup her full breast, you hear a whimper from behind you.

“Oh he liked that,” Cumulus breathes, fingers toying with your hair. You smile up at her before licking a stripe over her hardened nipple and her head tilts backwards in pleasure.

“Love sucking your tits, ‘Lus,” you murmur, tracing the bud with the tip of your tongue. “Satanas you’re beautiful.”

Her eyes are shut but a soft smile graces her features as the fingers woven in your hair scratch gently at your scalp. With a sigh you take her nipple in your mouth and suck while your other hand toys with the opposite breast. You can hear your audience breathing heavy behind you and you don’t have to look at him to know his hands strain at the bindings. With an exaggerated pop you remove your lips and bite playfully at the soft flesh.

“Isn’t she beautiful, Cardinal?” you ask, turning your head slightly. He looks at you both with wild eyes, seeking permission which Cumulus graciously grants.

“Y-yes. Yes. Both of you. Belle ragazze mie.”

“Ah, ah, ah, Cardinal. Not quite yours yet tonight. But if you’re still a good boy and make a pretty mess of yourself for us, we’ll consider it.”

The low whine that leaves Copia’s throat is pitiful and only worsens as you settle between Cumulus’ legs. You love seeing her spread open for you, the white curls at the apex of her thighs damp with slick and sweat. When you lick a swift stripe through her slit she gasps and pulls your hair.

“A warning next time my love,” she chides as you grin against her mound.

“Apologies, ‘Lus. I will tell you exactly what I’m doing next time. For example, right now I’m going to spread you open and lick up all that sweet mess you’ve made before I suck on your clit until I have you screaming my name. Is that acceptable?”

You swear you hear Copia let out a sob behind you and Cumulus’ tail thumps on the bed beside you. Her pupils are blown as she looks down at you, cheeks flushed and your hunger for her only grows.

“Please, love. Mmm fuck me with your mouth.”

You don’t need to be told twice. Spreading her open with your thumbs you dip your tongue down to her entrance, fuck you loved the taste of her, teasing at the hole. The sweet little noises and the way her hips buck against your mouth are your favorite part of doing this and you tell her so. When your tongue drags upwards and grazes her clit she cries out, claws digging into your scalp. When the chair behind you creaks loudly, your head whips around and the sight that meets your eyes delights you. The Cardinal’s head hangs forward, mouth open, his paints streaked messily down his cheeks. His chest heaves with effort and his hips jerk in their bindings. You desperately want to go to him, to lick up the fat bead of pre currently sliding down his painfully hard cock but you know the rules. And so you return to the task at hand.

Cumulus is so delightfully sensitive, something you adore about her, and the low moan that comes out of her when you suck her clit into your mouth makes your own cunt throb.

“So good, baby, so fucking good. Don’t stop.”

So you don’t. Not until her tail starts to twitch and her moans become higher and higher in pitch, your name a prayer on her lips. When she cums, her claws scratch blood into your skin, back arched off the mattress and every roll and curve of her body undulating. You’d be content to draw a second orgasm from her just like this but she’s shoving you away all of a sudden, overwhelmed and overstimulated.

“Not…not yet. Gotta take care of you first, baby.”

In an instant she flips you onto your back and Copia lets out a long, low moan.

“He hasn’t cum yet,” you say, somewhat impressed, “waiting for both of us, sweet boy?”

His nod is once again frantic, tears sliding out and leaving black streaks down his cheeks. His cock looks painfully hard and you almost feel bad if you didn’t know this is exactly what he wants. Cumulus reaches over to grab something off the bedside table that has you grinning when she presents it to you.

“Awfully big, ‘Lus,” you comment idly at the dildo in her hand, “sure I can take it?”

Cumulus laughs loudly, glancing mischievously at Copia.

“I’ve seen you take his, remember? Isn’t that right, Cardinal? Doesn’t she take your cock so well?”

Copia is trembling at this point, eyes squeezed shut and panting in an attempt to get a hold of himself. Cumulus takes the opportunity to lean down and bite the meat of your breast before laving her tongue over your nipple.

“Eyes open, Cardinal,” she says in a sing-songy voice, “you need to watch her take every last inch.”

Obediently, Copia’s eyes fly open and settle between your spread legs where Cumulus is currently running the tip of the toy.

“Look how wet she’s gotten just from licking my cunt. Such a good girl for me. Don’t you think she deserves a reward?”

Copia’s nostrils flare in an effort to control himself as his head twitches and a hoarse “yes” escapes his throat. With a flick of her thumb, Cumulus turns the vibrator on and presses it against your clit. The feeling of finally getting some relief makes your body turn to jelly, fingers gripping the sheets. She’s content to tease you for a while, bringing you close to the edge before pulling away. You’re about to whine, about to remind her that she’s not torturing you tonight when you feel the head of the dildo pressed insistently against your hole.

“Eyes right here, Cardinal,” she instructs, moving her body to give him a clear view, “you’re gonna watch her take my pretty fat cock just like she takes yours.”

Slowly, torturously slowly for your taste, she pushes the toy inside of you. The abundance of slick coming from you makes its path easy and you moan loudly at the way it stretches you. The cock is halfway inside you when Cumulus ramps up the vibrations, causing your walls to clench.

“Fuck, ‘Lus,” you pant, hands searching for something to hold onto, “fuck that f-feels so good.”

“Mmm I know baby. Look how pretty her cunt looks stretched around my toy, Cardinal. What a pretty show she puts on for us. But I think she can take more…can’t you love?”

Your laugh is a little too loud, a little too wild as you chant a litany of yeses. When she continues pushing the cock into you, your mouth hangs open and eyes roll back. Between the delicious stretch and the way the vibrations feel against your clit you know you’re close.

“A-almost there. So, so close ‘Lus. Please.”

“Hear that, Cardinal? She’s close - and I bet you are too, aren’t you? Look at him, love. Show him how good this makes you feel. Bring him over the edge with you.”

In an instant your eyes fly to meet Copia’s and you swear you’ve never seen him look more desperate. Suddenly you wish he was within your reach so you could use your mouth, your hands, anything to pleasure him. The way he watches you as Cumulus’ pistons the toy in and out of you is pure hunger. With each thrust of her wrist his hips rut forwards, eyes ever on yours. When you finally feel your spine tighten and white hot heat spread across your chest and limbs, your mouth falls open in a shout.

“Cumulus!”

You want to shut your eyes, to bask in your pleasure but then you’d miss the way Copia paints his chest and stomach with ropes of seed, moaning in broken Italian as his mismatched eyes bore into yours. His hips continue to twitch long after he’s spent and gently, Cumulus eases the dildo from your sore cunt. You move to get up but she gently presses you back down into the soft sheets. Panting, you watch her deftly untie the Cardinal from his bindings and guide his limp body into bed beside you. As if by magic she procures a warm rag and cleans up the mess on Copia’s belly and face as you tuck into him and gesture for her to join you both. Smiling warmly, she slips into bed beside you and her tail wraps loosely around your calf.

“You did so well, Copia,” you murmur into his neck, “always so good for us.”

He lets out a weak chuckle.

“It’s eh, very easy to be good for belle ragazze mie. Grazie, amori miei.”

You can feel Cumulus smiling against the curve of your shoulder and before long her low purring begins to lull the three of you to sleep.

#cumulus x reader x cardinal copia #cumulus ghoulette #cardinal copia #rachel writes

[thrawns-babygirl]

Insufferable (Crosshair x Fem!Reader 18+)

Summary: After you and Cross have an argument, he takes care of himself in the shower and he can't stand it.

Word Count: 1064

Warnings: Masturbation (M), Gags, Jealous!Crosshair, pissed off!Crosshair

A/N: Still getting the hang of writing and am scared to do anything with a lot of long form dialogue because its HARD so have some self indulgent Crosshair Smut while I work my way up to longer fics. Please tell me if this is garbage lmao i want to improve

Also pls send in some Crosshair requests! I'm really keen to write for the community otherwise this blog is going to devolve into really derange self indulgent kinks lmao

Sitting down in The Batch’s barracks after yet another successful mission, the topic of conversation shifted to the competition that Wrecker and Crosshair had every time they engaged with separatist forces. Crosshair was sulking, which was not unusual when you two were in the same room together, you were constantly bickering with one another, sending teasing and oftentimes scathing remarks back and forth trying to get a rise out of one another. Tonight, however it was compounded by the fact that he lost their little contest by a rather large margin.

“Well maybe you would have won if you were actually in the fight with your brothers instead of hiding up on that ridge. But Wrecker won this round fair and square.” You smirk over at the grumpy sniper as you finish up your routine post mission check up of the squad’s vitals. You were rarely needed to provide any actual medical assistance, but you were there to ensure that the Kaminoan’s premier squad was kept in good health in between long stints off-world.

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about being in the field, there is a lot more to it than you think, maybe try going out onto the front lines before you tell me I’m not doing enough, before you tell me I’m hiding” Crosshair bites out at you, removing the toothpick from between his lips and flicking it off to the side, earning him a chiding look from Hunter as it lands on the floor.

“Well I wouldn’t exactly call being a sniper up on a hill away from all the action ‘the front lines’ but whatever makes you feel better about losing Cross” You give him a sickeningly sweet smile as you input the Batch’s vitals into your datapad preparing to retreat to your own quarters for the night. You didn't mean it, the other boys knew you didn't mean it, but he always took the bait and getting a rise out of him was just so fun.

Glaring at you, Crosshair stood up and retreated into the refresher of the Batch’s barracks, grumbling various curses under his breath as he went. When the door closed behind him you turn to Hunter; “Too much?” you ask standing and walking towards the door to their barracks.

“Nah, he’s always dishing out way worse, needs to learn how to take it too” Hunter chuckles as he walks you to the door, he and the rest of the batch wishing you a good night as you turn and head towards the medbay to update their files before turning in for the night.

Closing the ‘fresher door he takes a deep breath his body betraying him as his concealed cock throbs against the hard plastoid of his codpiece.  He begins ridding himself of his armour, letting each piece clatter unceremoniously to the floor with a dull thud. Looking down to his traitorous biology he turned on the water, determined to have a cold shower and get you out of his head. Even if you would never know, he wasn’t going to let you have any power over him as he stands under the icy spray.

You were so utterly annoying, always sending cutting remarks his way, always trying to get under his skin, always trying to one up him. For a lousy doctor who had never seen the front lines you had an awful lot to say about how he and his brothers did their job.

So why couldn’t he get you out of his head? Why did your stupid fucking smirk make him want to tear your clothes off and shove his aching length into your cunt? Why did every back and forth send blood rushing south, ruining his resolve? He hated you… right?

Sighing and closing his eyes he tries to think about anything else to will his erection away, but you would not leave his mind’s eye. You were insufferable, a know it all, absolutely unbearable but also… exactly Crosshair’s type, quick witted, didn’t shy away from his abrasive personality and to top it all off you were gorgeous. Your uniform, while unflattering on most people, hugged your body in all the right ways, accentuating your curves and making you, at least in Crosshair’s eyes, utterly irresistible.

With a resigned sigh, his hand wanders down to his still rock hard, weeping cock. Now angrier with himself than you he begins running his hand along his shaft, thumbing his slit he releases a low groan as he began picturing you in more and more vulgar positions. He imagined you here in the refresher with him, on your knees, mouth open and QUIET for once as he shoved his length in and out of your mouth working up the tempo until he was fucking your face, head of his cock reaching the back of your throat as you gagged around him, tears streaming from your eyes as you struggled to take his girth.

Letting out a choked moan as he continued to fuck his closed fist, he let his mind wander further, to bending you over his bunk in the barracks while his brothers were out doing maker knows what, panties shoved in your mouth to muffle your moans as his hips piston in and out of your soaked pussy. Fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise, making his bunk groan out in protest at the wild pace he set, he pictured your muffled whimpers and groans as you took everything that he would give you like a good little slut. Your muscles clenching around him as he grew ever closer to his own release.

He would let you speak only to beg him to let you cum, to beg for him to cum in your cunt, beg for him to claim you. Tell him that only he could give you what you wanted as he pounded into you. He would ruin you for other men. He knows for a fact you’ve fucked regs in the past and the thought made his blood boil. He could fuck you better than any reg ever could. He would leave his mark on your body and soul.

Vigorously stroking his aching length, he brought his hand up to his mouth as he neared his end, biting down as he sprayed the ‘fresher wall with his seed, wanting more than anything to paint your stupid annoying face with his spend as you looked up at him and thank him for his gracious gift.

You were insufferable…. But maybe he didn’t actually hate you.

#crosshair smut #crosshair x reader #crosshair x reader smut #tbb crosshair smut #tbb smut #bad batch smut #bad batch x reader smut #the bad batch smut #tbb crosshair

[yandere-fics]

♡ Ellie With Older Caring Neighbor ♡

(btw i know everyone has a different vision of a sundress, I am specifically picturing the more like vintage 50s style sundress, a bit revealing but still a bit on the modest side. couldn't figure out how to end it properly so i didn't lmao.)

♡ You were so sweet to her, she really hoped you weren't this caring to anyone else or she'd have to get rid of them, her sister would be more than happy to handle that. Your kindness should only be reserved for her, you were her neighbor and eventually she'd move you into her apartment and you'd be solely for her eyes, it was just so perfect. You were just so sweet, all she needed to do was tell you she didn't want to eat the meal you'd made for her alone and you waltzed right into her apartment picking things up and setting the table for both of you to eat, your first date. ♡

"Wait, Ellie baby please wait." You pushed against her arms as she lifted you onto the table, for someone so short and scrawny she was damn strong when she was determined, you could barely budge her as she lifted up your dress immediately kneeling and trying to slide your underwear off.

"It's our first date though, I can't let you walk away from our first date unsatisfied." Technically you weren't walking away in general, you were going to stay right here in her apartment but you didn't need to know that, she could wait until she could have you here in her flat all the time, she could pretend to be your impatient husband home from work who just couldn't wait to have his wife even while she's cooking dinner, or just a poor innocent women who got trapped in the wolves den and must fulfill her desires every night, for now though, you were her meal, her sweet sweet neighbor being devoured by the younger woman you thought was harmless.

You didn't have time to think as she latched onto your clit slipping a finger and then a finger followed by another quickly slipped inside you beginning to work you open. She whined as she tasted you, you were her favorite taste by far, she felt so giddy knowing you'd be in her apartment available to her at all times from now one, you were hers, this was hers to taste daily if she so wished, you'd be completely covered in her marks though that would come later once she exhausted you, just a very nice marking session after you'd been completely satisfied. She did look so pretty between your legs though and you wondered how she'd look with her mouth latched around your nipple whimpering as she tried to please you.

"Ellie baby, d-don't neglect this part..." You whimpered and untied the top of your dress letting it fall down to your waist where the rest of the dress was bunched. You wished you had worn a better bra but you had expected a simple night just eating dinner with her and then returning across the hall to sleep, if you had known this was a date you would have worn a more revealing dress, the sundress was nice but you could have impressed her more. Still she seemed to marvel at your plain bra all the same eagerly unhooking it with one hand as she continued to search for the special spot that would make you melt all over her fingers.

"M-mommy... of course!" She hoped you missed what she just said or maybe you were into it, she should have been more careful not to say weird things when she just barely got you but what else was she supposed to say when you had just so generously allowed her to mark your perfect wonderful breasts, she'd suck on them every day until they did actually start producing if that would make you happy.

"You're a really good girl, Ellie." You shouldn't be taking advantage of her eagerness to please, this was bad form, you just wanted to make sure the poor thing got fed but she was just so excited to make you happy, wasn't it fair that you get something as a payment and she was more than happy to pay judging by the strap you could tell she was wearing under her jeans. "Baby, mommy wants to cum on your strap, can you do that?"

She stood up hastily unbuttoning her jeans and reluctantly pulling away from your chest until you stopped her, "Nuh uh, you can't let my tits be neglected either baby, can you do both?" She nodded dumbly allowing her mouth to latch again as she clumsily tried to unbuckle her pants.

Oh god she just was so happy she got to keep you after this!

#yandere oc #yandere lesbian #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere scenarios #my oc ellie

[melancholysway]

TMNT Bop or Flop

Feel free to join me in this bc I'm bored af and im trying to start all the requests i have :")

this is also a slight smash or pass bc I'm bored also- however I'm not doing it with TMNT 2012- that's just wrong LMAO or rise TMNT- self-explanatory. 2003/Bayverse/2007 is fair game though yall!

TMNT 2003

Leonardo

Ngl... a bit of a flop but a bop lowkey .

I liked him when he was starting to be more carefree and not so into the whole being perfect and leader thing ...

if this was smash or pass... SMASH IDC

Idk yall something about this Leo makes me happy in a weird way, so maybe half bop half flop? a blop?

Raphael

MAJOR BOP ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah yes a man who loves animals I'm here for it

I also really love his accent in this wtf .

He's a bop b/c he fought blind once, GTFOHHHHH!! and he ain't afraid of SHIT!

pass btw if this was smash or pass, he seems like a cool friend to have tho!

Donatello

BOP! His sassiness hasn't peaked in this version but it's very much there . 2003 Donnie is actually so sweet yall. Plus, his voice is very nice to listen to! I would love for him to read me a long book aloud as a bedtime story <3

smashbtw

Michelangelo

the man makes a mean scrambled egg according to Raph, but I make it better. FLOP.

I can't put my finger on it, but I just didn't enjoy this Mikey as much as I did in other versions. He made me wanna punch him sometimes . Also would notttt shutup about being the battle nexus champion like boy if you don't shut yo ass up-

pass pass pass pass btw

TMNT 2007

Leonardo

MAJOR. FUCKING. FLOP.

I don't care what yall mfs say, he was way too mf serious, and even said he was better than Raph??? I don't know exactly what he dealt with during that training in South America, but it changed him man.

He tried too fucking quick to bring the team back together, and that's why him and Raph had a falling out and a big fight. Raph knew it was wrong of Leo to try and waltz in again in their lives and be Fix-It-Felix bro.

sidenote: Mega SMASH. That "come to daddy" quote????? He knew wtf he was doin with that. He's too mf fine to be actin the way he was actin in this movie LMAO- I still really enjoy this Leo though, if they made a sequel like it was intended, I would probably change it to a bop, but I need more scenes of 2007 Leo/ this design of Leo to do this !

Raphael

Do I even have to say it????

BOP. BOP BOP BOP! BOP BOP BOP TO THE MF TOP YALL!

By far my FAVORITE Raph in the entire franchise! I love it, he's at his peak rebellion, and even made a name for himself fighting crime, I love it.

I also LIVE for his Brooklyn accent. I also hc if we got more screentime of him in the sequel, he'd be the most chill turtle. I believe there's a deleted scene of him talking to Leo at the end of the movie, and his tone/mannerisms were very mellow. 2007!Raph is mad chill

Also gave 2007 Leo a run for his money bro-

SIDENOTE: SMASHHHHHH! HULK SMASH IDC CALL ME WILD BUT IDC . Whoever designed him needs a raise. His eyes??? gtofh.

Donatello

Ngl...a slight flop?

he's not as sassy in this version, and I love me some sassy Donnie.

Like Leo, I really wish he got more screentime, I do love him challenging Raph in the beginning of the movie though :) Go Donnie go!

There's a deleted scene of Donnie and Splinter, it's called "let him eat cake" on youtube I believe- he would've been a bop if they kept that scene in! I feel like there was a lack of Donnie scenes in this- but I like that this movie was focused on Raph so I can't complain.

In a deleted scene it reveals Donatello loves money, he's also a flop bc he takes Mikey's money away so he can't buy dumb shit for the lair, at least let the man keep more than a $5 ya know?

ahem...smash.

Michelangelo

BOP! surprised? don't be.

he's a single mom that works one job who loves his brothers and never stops

with gentle hands and a heart of a fighter

he's a survivor <3

i also feel bad that he gets beat up by kids :( he really be providing for his family fr fr. He really out and about making his coin as a turtle in a turtle suit. he also started his own business??? got his own slogan, and is a kids party host??? like okay support small business xoxo

erm...pass btw, I just cannot see Mikey that way yall.

TMNT 2012

Leonardo

BIGGEST BOP OF THE CENTURY! This version of Leonardo is my all time favorite. He even beats Rise Leo by a few! I can't explain it, but this Leonardo- the first one we see that's more upbeat and not so serious, I loved it! They gave him interests other than training or being a leader- they gave him a love for a show he devotes his time to! be fuckin fr.

Also played tea time with some random ass lil girl, it was so cute. I loved to see Leo be put in situations where he's just being him.

So yes this is very biased but idc, he's my fave. One thing about 2012 Leo he gon get to the bag no matter what.

He also literally SLAYED Shredder and brought his head! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!

Raphael

Do I need to say anything?

Bop, wanna know why?

HIS ONE-LINERS. He's so in tune with his sarcasm and wits that it's so satisfying to hear some sarcastic shit come out his mouth.

May even be a bit sassy, he has no time for bullshit. will beat some ass- and is the best pet dad.

no bc when he was being a foster dad to Chompy??? my heart. my fucking heart yall.

Also the fact that he named him Chompy Picasso? PLS.

Donatello

Bop guys!

Lowkey gets bullied by Raph but makes up for it by making him look dumb at times.

SASSIER. VERY SASSY. WIll point out his brothers (Raph/Mikey's) stupidity.

Plus his gap is so cute

Also, he's a bop because he made fucking RETRO MUTAGEN. If I'm not mistaken, 2012 Donnie is the first one of his installments to make a retro mutagen.

Okay maybe Mikey mixed a chemical or two and was the original creator of the retro mutagen, but Donnie was able to make copies of it after finding out how Mikey made it.

Michelangelo

BOP BOP BOP

He might be my favorite Mikey! I really like 2007 Mikey bc his comedic timing was on point, but this Mikey! Oh my god his timing is fucking terrible and I love it.

he's also the reason why his brothers aren't in the stomachs of those big-ass wasps, he's underrated! When he applies himself, he's unstoppable fr.

Also, he's an animal lover like Raph! He also really cares for Ice Cream Kitty (IC Kitty is also one of my fave characters for some reason they're sooo cute!)

BAYVERSE TMNT

Leonardo

Hear me out.

Blop.

I know, why isn't he just a bop or why isn't he just a flop? I honestly couldn't decide. I found that he wasn't the most memorable in this version, but he did certain things that I remembered. He also has cute blue eyes so that's why he's a blop.

I didn't like the way he talked to Raph in the second movie bro, he was such a bitch, then acted mad shocked that Raph went out and tried to get the ooze himself. he also benched tf out of Raph and Mikey just because Raph called him out on his shit.

Okay I'm changing it- he's a blop but VERY close to being a flop because of that.

all this being said...pass.

Raphael

He's mad chill. A fuckin Bop. Honestly, all Raph's are bops, but this one especially. He knits yall. KNITS. Raph KNITS. I never thought I'd see the day.

Also a Vin Diesel stan, I love that for him.

They also gave him a fear of heights...or erm...skydiving, which I thought was kinda cute! Big bad Raph is scared of a plane dive!

P.S- smashy smash. he's truly a sweetheart yall.

Donatello

I actually really like his design! Love the glasses on him fr fr!

This Donnie is a blop though...sorry guys.

He was very nerdy in this one, but I'm so used to Donnie being a sass king that it didn't feel normal.

I wish they gave him more substance than just the genius of the team, if this makes any sense. Same with 2007!Donnie.

Blop positive: he's the only turtle to curse in the movie! he also snorts. it's cute.

Sadly...pass.

but, if they made him sassy as FUCK- ALL MIGHT DEKU SMASH.

Michelangelo

BOPPITY BOP

he's mad cool i dont see anything wrong with him. He's just a bro.

i dont have much to say about bayverse Mikey for some reason, so I'll leave it at this.

He also calls April "Angelcakes" which I think is cute yall-

Pass btw

RISE!TMNT

Leonardo

Final boss level BOP BRO. I love love love this Leo! He's amazing. I have no complaints fr.

Total asshole in the lair olympics but I loved every second of it LMFAO

also his granny disguise to spy on April??? 10/10 great style. It's nice to see Leo not be the leader for once, I truly see what he could be when he doesn't carry the burden of the leader.

Raphael

Okay, I'm used to hothead/soft Raph, but this Raph?! MF BOP! HE'S FINALLY GETTING THE UNOFFICIAL LEADERSHIP ROLE HE DESERVES.

He's a big mf softie, and I love it! I love his design, everything! No complaints about this Raph, he finally is able to show his leadership skills!

spoiler all rise! turtles are bops bc its so nice to see them written differently than their usual stereotypes.

Donatello

I absolutely adore this version of Donnie! His lines are absolutely top tier bro.

HIS RAP IN MYSTIC LIBRARY??? GTFOH. I also really loved his rivalry with Leo in the olympics btw .

He has so many golden moments that this is exactly why hes a BOP! BOP OF THE MF UNIVERSE.

He's also unintentionally funny, his computer password??? yeah bro he's funny.

Michelangelo

BOP. I finally feel like Mikey isn't the butt of the joke anymore. All boys are funny in this series in their own way, and they're all shown being a little dumb so I love that LMAO

I love that Mikey is still childish, but it seems to do toned down as his brothers are equally childish in some way

We don't rely on Mikey for comedic relief, we can rely on him to be sporadic and chaotic though! i love this version of Mikey, this one is my favorite. Point blank my fave!

Masterlist

#tmnt #bayverse tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt headcanons #raphael #leonardo #donatello #michelangelo #rise!tmnt #tmnt imagine #tmnt fandom #tmnt hc #tmnt 2012

[twothpaste]

I feel like the fandom perceives Doctor Andonuts more harshly than Itoi probably intended. Maybe a little more harshly than the character deserves. I'm always seein him discussed n' portrayed as if he's The Worst Dad Ever, And A Terrible Person Besides. Which is a pretty tall order in a series jam-packed full of shitty fathers and morally bankrupt characters. Maybe I just read him differently than most folks do? I dunno. I like him. I'll go to bat for him. Kooky old scientist thoughts (for both EB and M3) below.

Dropping Jeff off at boarding school and never visiting for 10 years is brutal, don't get me wrong. In the scene's context, though, it comes off more like an absurd comedic circumstance than a condemnation. Peak EarthBound shit. And while Jeff's scarcely "written" in the game, nothing about the way he's presented actually conveys a sense of abandonment or bitterness. (I like to imagine he's got a lotta bones to pick with his dad, but I think that's mostly in the realm of headcanon.) (Also, while Andonuts being his only family would make it objectively much worse, there's nothing in EarthBound to suggest Jeff doesn't have a mom, or other family members.) Mother's not exactly subtle when it's putting a father worthy of harsh judgment on the table. Aloysius and Wess come to mind. I do reckon if the Doctor was supposed to be presented as an irredeemable monster, Itoi would've really driven the point home. Instead of smothering the guy's dialogue in funny off-kilter quips. Like the bit with the donuts, and inviting Jeff to come back in 10 more years, and tellin his friends he wets the bed (how would Andonuts even know that?? is he thinking of when Jeff was a toddler?? lmao). He's a socially blundering absent father, and he stirs troubled sentiments, for sure. But he's definitely not outright malignant.

The thing is, there's reason to believe the guy's working on it. Jeff and Andonuts (and pals) go through a lot of shit together over the course of the game. By the end, Jeff expresses that he's very eager to spend time with his dad, get to know him better, work collaboratively with him. Presumably Andonuts feels the same, having finally bonded with his son through all these world-saving hijinks. It feels like a sweet little character arc to me. A reclusive scientist learns to value something beyond his own work, and begins to make amends by welcoming Jeff back into his life. Perhaps death-defying circumstances shifted his perspective, reminding him of what's most important? Even if you assume the worst of Andonuts earlier in the game, EarthBound's ending is really uplifting and hopeful for these two.

Which really makes his appearance in Mother 3 all the more tragic. Andonuts was willing at last to actually be there for his son, and then Porky had to go and yoink him outta the timeline. The Doctor explicitly says he's only working with Porky because he's been forced to - and he isn't thrilled about it in the slightest. After the chimera lab, he tells Lucas he's been inspired to escape. That he wants to devote his work to benefiting all living things, whatever that means! He's the guy who really "defeated" Porky, presumably planning the Capsule trap in secret all along. He doesn't even belong in this time or place, but damn if he's not finding ways to do good for the new world he's found himself in. Same way he devoted himself to the fight against Giygas, before.

The fact he's been torn away from his son (possibly irreconcilably?) doesn't come up, and god I wish it did. But considering how much extraneous dialogue's been cut from the game (and this would've definitely been extraneous)? If he'd said "gosh I sure wish I could see Jeff again" it'd draw specific attention to the displaced plight of Porky's timetravelers - thus, failing to resolve it would probably feel like a loose end. I can see how that might've been outta line with the narrative's scope. I'm not sure it's fair to infer the streamlined writing implies Andonuts forgot about Jeff, or doesn't care about him. Dude was never very expressive about his personal life EarthBound, anyways. Call it a headcanon of course, but imo, it seems more likely he's keeping his sorry sentiments to himself.

I just think Dr. Andonuts is a really interesting character, with a lot of potential. EarthBound gives us this clever play on the "funny kooky genius scientist" trope, asking how a guy like that might prioritize work over family. Has this deadbeat dad begin earning back his bond with his son. It ends on such a wholesome feel-good note! Then Mother 3 brings forth all these gutwrenching implications. The thought of Jeff stranded back in 199X (feeling confused, abandoned, possibly even betrayed??) breaks my fuckin' heart!! Andonuts being coerced to use his genius for evil, all the while plotting Porky's eternal imprisonment? A guy who directly contributed to saving the world from Giygas gets dropped into a post-apocalyptic Earth, finding out he'd only been delaying the "inevitable"? That humans would destroy themselves, possibly thanks to the technological advancements of people like him! Realizing his efforts to reconnect with Jeff might've been all in vain, that he may never make it home again! Vowing to do good for this world anyways?? Agh. And he's presented as just a quirky unflappable oddball old fart the whole time! To call him a good person would be dubious as hell, but damn if he's not fascinating.

#2thtalks

[mayhemakinguser]

Can I request a oneshot with Primis and Ultimis Richtofen x Reader where the Reader absolutely loves both Richtofens and is obvious about it (like they hug them and touch them a lot more than anyone else (not in that way lmao-) and everyone can clearly tell they favor them (also they sometimes flirt with them if they have the confidence-)

Maybe both Richtofens know they favor them but they don't know they have a crush on them or something?

Thank you in advanced if you write it!! :3

OHOHOHO this gonna be fun to write hehe

Something Just Like This! Primis + Ultimis Richtofen x Reader!

No pronouns, gender neutral.

I literally scrolled through my playlist to find the perfect song because I lack the creativity to come up with a title haha-

Alright, story begins underneath the cut!

"C'mon, Eddie! You're gonna burn yourself out!" you exclaim, tugging on the German's sleeve.

"Just one more..." he mumbles, scrawling in his notebook.

You pluck the pencil out of his hand and he complains loudly. "Later! You promised me and Rich that you would bring us to lunch! Are you going back on your word?"

"Of course not!" Eddie protests. You eye him, hoping to make him feel guilty. He sighs. "Do we have to bring that psychopath?"

"Like you're any better!" Rich sings from the other room.

Eddie and Rich are the same person. I kid you not, they are literally the same person, first name and last name exactly the same, same appearance (albeit Rich was older-looking). Their personalities was what set them apart. Eddie was more tentative, quiet, like a school nerd. Rich, however, was pretty... peculiar. The kind of guy people veer away from.

But you? You would never. You loved them with all your heart. You noticed every tiny detail about each of them. How Eddie chewed on his pointer finger when he was nervous. How Rich tapped his foot when he was excited, like he couldn't contain himself.

However, they didn't get along much.

"Verdammt..." Eddie rolls his eyes. He stands up from his chair and smiles down at you. "Well, liebe, are you ready to go?"

Liebe. Love. Hearing him say that always made your heart melt, even though he said it nearly every day.

You nod earnestly, grabbing your keys and tossing it to him. Eddie catches it with one hand. He turns and heads out the door to start the car.

"Rich, you better hurry up before we leave you!" you call, shrugging on your sweater.

"You wouldn't! You love me too much!" Rich teases, appearing at the other doorway, leaning on it with a full smile.

You blush lightly and step on his foot. He laughs and manuevers around you to get his own sweater on. It was early spring, so it was still a bit nippy out.

"Whatever Doc," you say, yanking his arm towards the door. He chuckles, letting your drag him outside.

Eddie is leaning on your f/c car, arms folded over his chest. The wind made the little curl across his forehead sway, and you were hit with (yet again) the fact that he was handsome. He frowns at his Ultimis counterpart, but says nothing.

"I call shotgun!" Rich exclaims, beelining for the passenger seat.

"Hey! No fair!" you shout, running after him to bump him away from the car handle. You two scuffle for a bit, laughing so obnoxiously the neighbors gave you the side-eye.

"No, Y/N is taking the passenger, I refuse to let you sit beside me again," Eddie says with a point of his finger at Rich. Rich glances up and you yank the door open, hopping in it with a giggle.

"Are you still upset over the little incident we had?" Rich cooes with a smirk.

"Of course! We almost crashed!"

"Perhaps you should let me drive then."

"Absolutely not, that would've signed our death wishes!"

"Boys, as much as I love hearing ya'll bicker, I'm starving. I wanna eat," you intervene before they start strangling each other.

Eddie hops in the driver seat with a relieved sigh as Rich climbs in the backseat. Eddie turns the key so the car fully starts this time as you punch in the destination.

Rich leans forward to watch you with a grin. "Sooo, what is it? A resturaunt of some sort?"

You giggle, "It's a surprise! I think you both will like it."

"Anything you choose I'll always like. You have good taste," Eddie responds, driving out of the driveway.

"Naturally, you're the best at everything, liebling," Rich adds.

You laugh with a blush. Anything these two say are just so cute. You reach one hand to touch Rich's, and the other to meet Eddie's at the steering wheel. "Thanks guys. You're too sweet."

They smile back at you, making your heart skip.

TIME SKIP WOW

The three of you arive at an old-fashioned diner from years ago. Eddie exits out the car, looking fascinated. It was very shiny and really did give off old vibes. And people still visited it!

"Remarkable!" Eddie says.

"Oh, I remember going to some of these," Rich speaks, drawing out his words. "People would always stare. The famous doctor, coming to an old-timey diner! How absurd!"

"They should've taken a picture. Lasts longer," you reply with a snort.

"That would've costed them an extra fifty," Rich says smoothly with a wink your way. "However, you can take as much photographs as you'd like, liebling."

"Bitte," Eddie groused, opening the door.

You trot in with a 'thank you' to Eddie, who nods, and you look around with awe. So shiny! And clean! Much better than some of the resturaunts you went to.

A waitress walks up to you with a wide smile. She was a very pretty woman. Dimples and bright gray eyes, along with curly black hair. She smiles at Eddie and Rich, and the two look away shyly. You wish you hadn't seen that and you selfishly wish she wasn't there.

"Hello and welcome to our humble diner! Please, follow me to get your seats!" she says cheerily, walking away towards an empty table.

It's a rectangular table, so you wouldn't have to choose who to sit with, to your relief. You sit on the short side so Eddie and Rich sit across from each other.

"Drinks?" she asks, flipping to an empty page on her small notebook.

"Water, thank you," Eddie answers and Rich says the same thing.

"And you-?"

"Water," you interupt, tone clipped. Rich immediately heard the sourness in your tone, watching you at the corner of his eye. He always seemed carefree, but in reality, he noticed the tiniest of things. That's what made him a doctor after all, and also, your friend.

She nods in acknowledgment before scurrying off to get her order done.

Your eyes trail after her for a moment, before returning your gaze to your boys. Eddie's humming, skimming over the menu, oblivious. Rich was not so easily detered as he studies your expression. Can't get anything past this man.

"Liebling, do you think she's pretty?"

"Who?" you ask, avoiding his gaze and looking at the menu, but not really reading it.

"The waitress. I think she's very pretty, nein?" he prods with an innocent smile.

"I think Y/N is much prettier, if you want my opinion," Eddie chirps without looking up. Rich nods with a grin.

"I agree. You are always the prettiest!" Rich sings, making the people near by turn to give him a look. He decides to stand up and acknowledge the stares coming from the table next to you. "Would you agree that this wunderbar person here is attractive?"

The man at the table pauses. "Uh... yeah?"

"How about you, Miss?" Rich asks with a wave of his hand dramatically. "Attractive or no?"

"Well, yes. I think so," the lady mumbles with a nervous smile. Eddie is face-palming, internally groaning and hiding his face behind the menu. You're blinking rapidly, processing what the hell is happening. Rich always makes spectacles, always. But he was doing this for you, for you to realize that you're just as great as any great person.

"See?" Rich plops down with a wide grin. "You're perfect!"

You stare at him before tackling him in a hug. He grunts, surprised by the sudden display of affection.

"Thank you, Rich."

Rich chuckles, messing with your hair. "Anytime!"

Little did he know, you fell for him even harder. Both of them as Eddie looks over with the most gentle and kind smile in the world. You swipe a finger over Eddie's cheek, over his scar, because if one gets affection, the other will too.

The waitress comes back, smiling. "You all are adorable! Ready for an order?"

You blush furiously, getting off Rich and sitting back in your own chair. "U-um, yes! Yes we are." Not gonna lie, you kinda felt bad for being so rude. Hopefully you could make it up by being nice back.

TIME SKIP AGAIN BC AUTHOR IS LAZY

You three had already recieved your food and was chowing down happily when the same waitress who had served you guys before, fell and spilled water all over the floor. Instantly, you rush over to help, picking up the plastic cups.

"You should confess," she whispers.

"What?" you ask, confused. She nods at the two boys who are watching you.

It dawns on you what she means and you blush profusely. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, please. It's ovious. You have puppy love eyes."

"One more word and I'll stop helping you."

She laughs quietly and gives you a shoulder nudge. "But in all honesty, you should. I can see your relationship growing more than what it is."

"What are you, some sorta love guru?" you joke with a smile.

She eyes you with a sly twinkle in her eyes. "Perhaps."

She cleans up rather quickly and disappears back into the kitchen.

"That was kind of you to help her," Eddie says with a small smile.

"I thought I should help her. Don't want her spitting in my food," you joke with a little laugh. He gives a small hum before going back to eating his lunch.

Maybe you should think about what she said and maybe confess soon. But not now. In the future.

For no reason whatsoever, you embrace the two in an embrace, startling them both.

"I want something just like this, all the time."

haha end ending go brr

I had to literally rewrite this bc it didnt SOUND RIGHT

This is so horrible I swear I've written better but I'm not as creative as i used to be *le sigh*

Nonetheless, I hoped you enjoyed it lmao

I didnt proofread it so if theres any errors I apologize

#Codz #cod zombies #richtofen x reader #X reader

[gendrie]

was on a little walk listening to "Running up that Hill" and because I'm having an unfortunate asoiaf/gendrya relapse, my mind connected the two. the song (being about the wish to understand the others' perspective) loosely applies to Gendry and Arya in ASOS, I think!

Arya doesn't fully understand the class difference or Gendry's outlook on it, she thus misinterprets his decision to join the Brotherhood as him leaving her. The biggest miscommunication, aside from him leaving her has got to be the Peach ("too bloody lowborn to be kin to m'lady high") with Arya lacking the understanding of class and sexuality that Gendry has and thus both incensing him and being perplexed and confused at his anger.

Another thing is that Gendry can't fully see things from Arya's perspective either, as far as being a lady goes. He can't fully reconcile her relation to Hoster Tully and the role her family played in the war with what he actually knows of her nature and morality and starts eyeing her when it comes up and ocasionally throwing her status in her face. He also kind of tries to reassure her re: Jon and Ned and Ashara by being like "well they're dead now" and just overall doesn't seem to get it?

Also the running/ hill/road imagery might have played a part :) !

i thought i was mostly out for a minute but then something happened and now im obsessed again lmao. that evil old man is holding us hostage! running up that hill (a deal with god) definitely works for arya/gendry. i love it. the conflicts in their relationship are caused by misunderstanding as a result of their different perspectives on class among other things. all relationships have conflict bc all people are complex and nobody has the same exact pov. thats literally what defines asoiaf. even arya and gendry's song, within the text, is about that. he wants to live in a castle and she wants to live in the forest. their love isnt in question just their different perspectives on living arrangements.

on the issue of class for arya it’s not just that she was raised being allowed to socialize with anyone regardless of class. she’s also spent a lot of formative time as a member of the smallfolk, essentially. she has gone hungry, she has worked as a slave, worn rags, ect. to begin with she always felt like a bad lady and an outsider. the line is more blurred for her than almost any other character. she doesn't feel like it effects their relationship. she tells him come to winterfell with me and stay!!!! not realizing the inherent class division is a major problem.

to be fair arya doesn’t even understand why she’s upset by the idea her father loved a woman before her mother. but thats another place where their povs are different. arya’s parents had a loving marriage that she, honestly, idolizes. gendry is the bastard child of a deadbeat and a woman who died when he was small.

i’d add that arya herself has a difficult time reconciling the crimes committed by her brother and grandfather’s armies. i would actually argue its more difficult for her. arya almost broke down when confronted with that. this isnt something they're truly at odds about. when arya gives the northmen mercy she does so from gendry's shoulders. idt he throws her status in her face on account of the war crimes but yeah, gendry does try to find an alternate path to serving the high lords. of course, the bwb become corrupted and now he’s serving "m'lady" despite his earlier protests. in a way they kinda did swap places? gendry is loyal to her mother on this mission to kill the freys and lannisters while arya is attempting to forsake it all. i don’t think it’s a coincidence they both ended up in murder gangs either. when they’re reunited they will be able to understand each other better. 

#i have a post in my drafts rn #that addresses this theme #and now i have a better idea of the point i wanted to make #so thank you! #ask

[not-poignant]

if ur still doing the writing meme (i've liked all ur answers even the 'unpopular' ones a haikyuu fic i loved once got rewritten and i'm still sad i never saved the first one because i didn't realize the author didn't like it and i wish i'd commented more or sth to make them know we loved the og so much) -> 13 and 34 plz

Ahh I'm sorry you went through that anon re: the Haikyuu! fic. Please don't guilt-trip yourself for it. Authors have lots of reasons for rewriting a fic, or deleting a fic, and sometimes even when it's had thousands of kudos they will still do it.

It sounds like you commented in general (since you say 'commented more' instead of just commented) which is like... really awesome. Who knows, maybe the author thought they were giving you the better version! You can always leave a comment and ask if they still have the original chapters on file somewhere if that author's still active, and if they'd be willing to share them with you somehow.

Now to the meme:

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I was going to answer this with 'easy, everything I don't write' lmao because I just avoid the stuff I find hardest. But that's kind of...not the point. So in all seriousness:

Big ensemble scenes with big ensemble casts. I don't know why I insist on writing these a fair bit, but anything that has more than two characters in a scene is a struggle. More than four is like 'OH GOD.' It's just a lot of work in a different kind of way.

Happy endings. It's not that they're difficult to write, exactly, it's that I'm often...kind of sad to be letting go of the story and I feel like I've already let it go at the point that I'm writing the happy ending. Like, I am not happiest when I'm writing the happy ending, though I want it to feel really really good for readers. I love happy endings, but I also get really noticeable lag and slow down a bit towards the end of stories, because I have less motivation. An ending means letting go of that version of the world, or that installment, and my brain is like 'dun wanna.'

Beginnings/openings. I don't really enjoy the first few pages of a first chapter and I know I'm not often good at beginnings which further preys on my 'everyone is going to hate this story' insecurity I have at the beginning of a new thing.

Action scenes used to be in this but they're not as much anymore. But I do really struggle with sex scenes too! And I think that's a reason I don't write them as much as I used to. It's not a bad thing, one of the reasons they're harder is because I want them to be good and I just don't want to do carbon copies of previous sex scenes and I've now written like 200 of them.

As for things I find easy, hmm. I'm going to go with broadscale characterisation and dialogue. I also think generating character and place names is really easy, and inventing species to populate a new world is easy. I also think describing nature is easy for me, though I sometimes feel silly or like...I'm boring people when I describe it, so I try not to do it toooo much.

I'm bad at writing description but hilariously I don't find it difficult. x.x Maybe that's why I'm bad at it.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

*takes a breath*

Since you don't mind unpopular opinions I hope you don't mind this one: I fucking don't rate the Oxford Comma and try to avoid using it wherever possible. It's really easy to avoid some of the errors an Oxford Comma can prevent through context, and frankly, the Oxford Comma can create its own issues which can be prevented through not using it. You can avoid or introduce ambiguity whether you do or don't use it, basically, one solves some problems and introduces others, the other solves some problems and introduces others.

In that sense, it's understandable why it's not mandated in many style guides. It is preferable in US English, but damn, I'm not from the USA. And the Oxford Style Guide recommends it but the Oxford Style Manual recommends against it. Australian Style Guides, including the one issued by the government, generally oppose its use, but it's not mandated, so it's really at the author's discretion.

I've tried using it. Like, I've sat down and thought 'right I'm going to give this a good shot' and I just really don't like it. So you'll see a handful here and there in my writing where I thought 'okay let's try it' and then just been like nahhhh.

I have no problems with other people using it, and those people can have all the extra commas I'm not using because damn, they'll need them. :D

--

From the Weird Questions for Writers meme!

#asks and answers #memey goodness #pia on writing #i have strong anti-oxford comma opinions and it's funny because i wouldn't care one way or another #but oxford comma aficionados are generally such twerps #that i ended up with a really strong stance vs. just #'it's fine either way just do the one you like more' #and now i'm like 'NO ACTUALLY' and it's literally just because #have you ever had a conversation with an oxford comma enthusiast who finds out you don't use them? #my god i'd rather eat sandpaper #i guess i've developed a 'if you want to know how you sound when you talk about the oxford comma being great' #'i'll show you' approach lmao #especially because IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER #and both of them SOLVE AND INTRODUCE PROBLEMS #it's such an insignificant thing and yet #here we have it in a meme fldsakfjasdklfjdsa sorry anon this is #the silliest soapbox isn't it? #*waits for oxford comma enthusiasts to get smarmy in the replies* #*and hopes that this is the innoculation that prevents them from doing it*

[necros-writing-stuff]

Gotta be honest Necro, proofreading isn’t my specialty. Any and all criticism welcome. If I’m not crying then you didn’t critique me hard enough lmao. Either way thank you so much for everything you’ve done. I’ve always loved your writing, be it small tidbits of your OCs or short story’s of your favorite characters. This was gonna be the third Mason prompt I was gonna send in but decided fuck it, Necro needs a break. I hope you like this.

No one had seen Mason since last Friday. During that time, he was instructing rebellious youths who were more concerned with what they’d do after school than getting through the class. He didn’t seem particularly angry about that though, in fact, he was probably just as excited. The last you saw him, however, was at the lake. The way he danced through the water almost distracted you from the lack of swimwear. You wished you could join him, but you figured he needed some alone time. Instead, you decided to spend your Saturday morning admiring his form. The peaceful look on his face was so eerily different from the tense expression he wore during school hours. 

You liked to think that you gave him some respite from the more unruly students, offering pleasantries when you could and avoiding looking anywhere but his eyes, but you knew you were no better than the others. You’ve had your fair share of fantasies about him, what he’d be like as a lover, how adorable he would be talking about his interests, the softer moments you would spend with him in the evenings. You knew he has enough to deal with though, so you kept up your perfect student facade in front of him, and your perverse thoughts behind closed doors. Besides, there were more realistic matters to think about. The next month was a few days away and you’ve already avoided two payments from Bailey.

Hoping to get a head start on missing the third, you got up from your rocky perch and left Mason to enjoy his solitude, unaware of how close he was getting to the Ruins.

When Monday rolled around, more than a handful of students panicked about the missing swimming teacher. Other teachers told the students not to worry, but you could see them fidgeting over the thought of the perfect attendance teacher having a not-so-perfect attendance. Even Leighton appeared frustrated that one of his favorite staff was a no-show. You were just as curious as the rest of them, but you figured that maybe Mason had finally decided to take a day to himself and left it at that. 

When you reached fifth period that day, you could see that most students didn't bother showing up, opting to leave school grounds as they had nothing else to do. You figured it was best to join them since it would give you time to relax before you would have to deal with the horrors following the rest of the week. 

 As you made your way home, you gave in to the temptation to glance at the forest. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the silhouette of something dart behind the trees, its red eyes so painfully familiar. You shake it off, knowing that you at least have a few more days until you'd have to deal with them.

As the week came to a close, Mason still had yet to make an appearance. You sat at the edge of the pool alone, idly drawing shapes into the water as the fading sky rippled from your touch. You were beyond worried, Mason wasn't the type of person to take this much time off. You hoped he wasn't sent off somewhere, you wouldn't even know where to begin searching. Not like he would need much saving, since his athletic lifestyle kept him more than just fit. Which begged the question, what could possibly keep him gone for so long?

It couldn't be helped. The police had been notified by multiple students and teachers alike, so you assumed he would turn up sooner or later. You got up, dried yourself off, and narrowly avoided a few perverts on your way home, bracing yourself for a long night.

You weren’t exactly angry, but disappointed as you yet again failed to shake off the Wraith’s grip. You could hardly feel the water at this point as you waddled into the water, so you decided to let the Wraith take you hostage and fight him later on. With nothing better to do, you let yourself slip into a numb state.

This only lasted for a few seconds, unfortunately, as the impact of falling to the soaking floor was never a pleasant experience. The lichens did little to soften the blow, but the pain was quickly overtaken by a mix of surprise and horror.

Sitting right across from you was Mason, knees pulled up to his chest as he peered at you with a blank expression. He was nothing like how he was the week before, excitedly offering his goodbyes to the other teachers as he practically skipped through the school gates to the forest. There was no sign of life in his eyes, the only reassurance that he wasn’t a corpse was the uneven rise and fall of his shoulders. He looked so…broken. Mason, an incredibly stubborn teacher, and a cheerful person besides, was gone. Anxiety that you had forgotten months ago after you turned eighteen resurfaced, you couldn’t imagine the horrors the Wraith forced Mason through to bring him to such a state of despair.

”Three becomes one, we add more to the chorus.”

The wraith materialized behind Mason, tracing patterns into Mason’s collarbone with it’s pale hands before coming to a rest on his shoulders. You scooted as far as you could into the wall behind you. It made no indication that it cared, rather, it brought it’s head down to Mason’s shoulder, leaving a trail of pale saliva as it licked from his neck to his jawline, stopping only centimeters from his lips. Mason makes no move to recoil. The Wraith smiles wide and speaks once more.

”Can you hear it? Can you hear the Midnight Symphony?”

To your right, a familiar purple disc fades in besides your arm. More follow, and soon you’re surrounded by them. You try to get up, but a pale tentacle shoots from one of the discs to restrain your leg. You struggle, but the more you try to break free, the more you find yourself entangled in tentacles. You eventually give up after seeing that your arms and legs are barely visible. The Wraith walks to the outside of your cell, shaking a residue off his hands. You look toward Mason for help, but he stares right back, face tinted with a pink blush and violet crumbs of lichen coating his lips.

”Singer or sinner, the waves know no difference. You will only add to the noise.”

Mason crawled towards you unsteadily and promptly straddled you to the best of his abilities. You did not realize you were crying until you felt him wipe the tears away, and you cried even harder when you felt no tenderness in his gestures. Hollow promises of being gentle poured from his lips, as if rehearsed. 

Dread washed over you as reality came crashing down. The Mason you fantasized about at night no longer existed. He was broken beyond saving, no longer had a future beyond being the Wraith’s doll. 

You would never have your stubborn, sweet Mason back.

Your mind began to shut down, grief beginning to overwhelm you. You closed your eyes and prayed you would see the sun soon.

Since its intentionally ending here, here's the wonderful piece by someone I will dub as Possession Anon for tagging reasons.

I love this so much. The idea of sweet Mason being gradually broken down over and over again simply because he was enjoying his swimming hobby and got too close is perfect.

PC wanting to do better than others when it comes to Mason makes this awfully terrific, too. Because now they'll be forced to harm each other.

10/10, this was great.

#spill your guts #possession anon #mason the swimming teacher #ivory wraith #'nw grapefruit'

[eddsworld-enchanted-era]

~The ones spoken of only in whispers, part two~

(braincell went brrrrr again, here's the base link, it's by EddsWorld-Base)

(and yes this one's just a brief sequence from the fic lmao, it's him mid-panicked explanation)

There is a dirt path somewhere deep within the forests of Norway, with various branching dead ends, but taking the correct turns at each fork would lead one to a clearing.

From just outside, the bright greens and deep browns of the trees, along with the tall grass and wildflowers of all colours are pretty much the only thing you can see, as they surround the area. It doesn't look like there's anything here, just more trees. The path almost appears to be a trick at first, but just past the two trees by each edge of the path is a large concrete structure, home to a budding army that's slowly beginning to take control of the neighbouring countries - now known as the Nordic Federation of Nations (NFN), though the officials would insist that, regardless of language, you call it "De Nordisk Forbun av Nasjoner". You'd risk pissing off the leader otherwise.

Inside the building is more of the same. The same concrete walls, the same concrete floors, and various rooms used for various purposes.

One of these rooms is the office of De Rød Leder... yes, labelled like that, even though every other room was labelled in English, but you had to give him one thing - he had commitment to the bit.

And currently, in that office, a man is frantically apologising.

"I'm sorry sir, I wasn't even aware that they survived, I swear, please don't hur-" the man is interrupted by the voice of another.

"That does not matter, Pau - you still let one get away." the voice states, a disappointed yet dangerous tone.

This voice belongs to someone who wished for his name and face to be known worldwide.

A man whose body was half-burnt and scarred forever, with his hair stuck in the shape of two horns - his trademark style, and the inspiration for the army's logo.

A man known as Red Leader.

Pau flinches in response, the man's words were not exactly comforting. Particularly as he could see his scowl deepen, if that was even possible.

"I'll do better next time, I promise! Just... please, don't do anything to me! You-you know how Patry-"

"-Yes, I am aware of how he would react if any harm is to come to you. But for his sake as much as your own, you will keep that promise next time." Red Leader interrupts again, adding emphasis on the 'will', "Because of course there's going to be a next time, one lived, and they're going to recruit more of their little buddies, and if they're successful we may have another all-out war with Sweden on our hands."

"For fuck's sake, I have no goddamn clue how you could even miss so bad - you're extremely good with your gun any other time, why did you have to fuck me on this now, when it counts?"

There is silence.

"Do not lie to me. You know what I do to liars." he warns.

Pauu swallows, suddenly aware of just how small he felt, between the size of the room itself and the size of the man in front of him.

It's enough to make him spill the truth.

"Because I could see the fear in his eyes."

"I heard him beg, he swore that just wanted to make it home safe, sir."

"And you believed any of it? You believed that he was afraid?" Red Leader scoffs.

"In fairness, anyone would be if their hideout were suddenly stormed by your two best soldiers, sir." chimes another man, one who's just entered the room, "And by the way, I have some financial requests from the Danish branch, be sure you get to those." he halfheartedly states as he drops a small stack of papers on the desk.

"Patryck, do not defend him. I understand he is your husband, but he's fucked up again."

"Oh, come on, don't play that game with me, sir - you and I both know he gets out of trouble every time - and that it's because of me."

"Not this time, Pat-"

"You also know what I am capable of if you hurt him." Patryck glares at Red, reaching for a pistol.

Once he's readied it, he fires a shot into the air as a warning.

There's a silence in the air, before Red reaches for his own gun... only to find it's not there.

"Goddamn it Patryck, why do you have to be so stealthy?" he murmurs, before sighing.

"Fine." he relents, "just don't let this happen again, Pau. The two of you are dismissed."

"That's what I thought, sir." Patryck smirks, tossing the gun onto Red's desk, before taking Pau's hand and walking away with him.

"It's such a goddamned shame that those two are the best I've got." Red mumbles, before grabbing the first paper of the stack, glancing over it and ticking the 'approved' box. He hated paperwork.

#eddsworld fan era #eddsworld enchanted era #mod robohoe #eddsworld au #eddsworld red army #ewra #red leader tord #eddsworld red leader tord #tord #eddsworld tord #pau #pat #paul #patryck #eddsworld pau #eddsworld pat #eddsworld patryck #minific #fanfic #eddsworld fanfic #eddsworld base #base edit #EddsWorld-Base

[degreeofdisorder]

young royals s2e1 live reaction

we really just began the whole season w a (dream) sex scene lisa's mind truly

I wish kristina a very fuck you and die

"we need to talk" you should've thought about that before you massive bitch

I know this is his reputation era but I'm still so extremely sad about wille lmao

I hope that youuuuuu. buuuuuuuuuuurn doo doo doo doo doo doo

equal billing for omar and malte? wow

nope lmao

I mean yeah he's right simon really is fuckin beautiful lmao

damn he's forward too!!! ayyy kid

aw simon's smile

I hate this tho

"it's supposed to protect you from bad energy" oh she needs it

oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

though to be fair this one seems like a far better initiation than wille's

but still, nope

oh sara

A RIDE TO WHERE

oh fuck me

[sees malin] welcome home TRAITOR

oh fuck

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

OH FUCK ME UPPPPP

oh of course he's helping him find sara we love a boyfriend

I GOT A HAIRCUTJFJCJCJGKGJGKVJCKVJVKGKFKGKKG

MY HRHSAKFJGKG

oh my heart

I'm going to die

OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

GRINDR LMFAO

IS HE HITTING ON WILLE

OH DISGUSTING HE DIDN'T WIPE HIS HANDS

GROSS

oh he had No Idea about that oh baby

OH FUCK OFF

oh FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU

"that guy is toxic" oh ayub

rosh and ayub are such good friends lmao

OH LMFAO REBOUND OH NO

simon is the prettiest human being in the world

wille's face when greeting alexander

ERIK WAS WITH AN ONYLFANS GIRLFKFJFKDNGJDJGKXJFJ

oh my baby boy oh my darling baby boy

imagine being simon and the fuckin crown prince asks you for a pencil and can't even open your pencil case i

wille is so gone for him lmfao so so so so so so gone

LOWER YOUR FILTHY HANDS THIS ISN'T A DEMOCRACY

wille absolutely having august by the fuckin balls is my favorite thing in the PLANET

also these boys being pigs is A+

oh alexander honey boy

oh sara baby don't fall for this don't fall for this don't

oh yeah that's about to be unbearable to watch

oh no wille probably thinks simon is reaching out to him for something good and he's gonna ask him for space i

oh wow that was bad

he better answer that call from kristina like like "now you Listen to me you massive bitch"

simon and ayub not remembering rosh's ex's name

oh fuck me

y'all can't even begin to grasp how much I'm hating this

like consciously I know it's a good thing for simon (and it's framed so sweetly too!! like it really is very sweet)

but I hate this so fuckin much lmao

it's like I understand every choice in here and again consciously I know this is good for simon but I wish it wasn't! I wish this wasn't happening! oh this is gonna be unbearable

oh fuck

oh my lord

oh shit oh jesus

oh fuck me up

oh fuck

listen ayub that was cute but HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

she can't be telling him to calm down when she's the reason he even has panic attacks in the first place

YEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

OH FUCK THEM UP

YEAH THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING!!!!!!!!!!!! ABDICATE BABY BURN THIS SHIT TO THE GROUND

ok, review: [to the tune of i caught myself by paramore] I hate this I hate this

#yr livenats #yr spoilers #young royals spoilers #yr s2 spoilers

[hungrydolphin91]

Xillia update no. mighty 9! A real loooong session, so I'm putting it under a cut:

I can't remember much about what we did at the beginning, like Fenmont and stuff, except that Wingul was uncharacteristically nice to Elize and then minutes later tried to have us arrested. Him and Gaius just flip flop like that.

My sister's current ships basically include whichever two characters are on the screen at the same time, but particularly Gaius/Muzet. Her: "They're a power couple."

Since Alvin was out of the party I started playing Rowen and he's quite fun! I especially like mashing the button for more fireballs and rolling around the rock. I just wish his arte tuning didn't make that high pitch noise :/

We defeated Muzet with his bell arte. "Live más, bitch."

We finally defeated Ivar too and it seems like he will leave us alone for good. My sister still wishes we had killed him when we had the chance.

As soon as we got to the mountain behind Milla's shrine, the characters started warning about how slippery and dangerous it is. Her: "We're gonna have a cutscene of us falling aren't we."

After the HARD Presa/Agria fight, Alvin actually did rejoin the group. She thought he might just stay away or become a villain. Tales games don't usually permanently retire such a long-lasting party member, but to be fair the other Tales game we played was Zesty, which does.

We debated which character to have leading on the map but she wanted to admire Jude's butt, though you can't really see it with his costume. You can't see any of the character model's butts really. Me: "Except Presa." Her: "True, she has a nice butt. But maybe we shouldn't speak ill of the dead. Me: "We'll pour one out for Presa's fine ass" 😔✊

A lot of bleeding hearts in this group. Jude pitying Muzet's lack of purpose, Leia feeling bad about Agria's intentional death. I am trying to use my sister' dislike of good-hearted protagonists as a reason to play Berseria next 😈

We finally reached Maxwell. Jude: "We've come a long way to ask you something." Sis: " 'Why are you such a dick?' "

He really looks like an evil Dumbledore. Also his name is not very godly or intimidating. I explained it's like a series staple easter egg (like Aifread) but yeah it's a kinda lame name

The way Jude starts pointing accusingly at Maxwell is EXACTLY like Ivar. They're rubbing off on each other!

Milla is back! And The Four work for her now. Their design are also not very godly, she noted. Sylph has glasses, why would a spirit need glasses.

Elize died right as we beat Maxwell, RIP her EXP

Maxwell is going to dispel the schism! Me: "We did it, we beat the game!" Her: "Really?" Me: "No :)"

I forgot Gaius really just shows up and tries to crown himself the next god. Sis: "Good for him."

As soon as the group woke up in Elympios: "Juuude! Make me something!!" lmao

We wondered how all of their meals keep fresh for so long. Me: "Maybe it's like astronaut food. It's just yakisoba-flavored dried food."

The East vs West theme is not subtle, this place is literally New York and all of the music is jazz. She kept noting how colorful everyone looks in comparison to the drab grays. The other themes aren't subtle either like developed vs undeveloped worlds, global warming destroying the planet, etc.

She pointed out that the Torbalan Highroad has Balan's name in it. Maybe the game developers thought "idk what to call this road it's just the one that goes To(r)balan. That's what we'll call it."

We found two separate monocles there. If we put them together we can have a pair of glasses.

Cramped holes remind Elize of her miserable life in the shack which she decides to bring up randomly. Like "Hey everyone, remember how I'm an orphan?"

I keep laughing at cutting off the character's level-up expressions. Rowen saying "Never stop--" and then Elize saying "I won't stop!" Like good I guess she's listening to him.

And Alvin remarking "It just keeps getting better" while Balan is in danger and the worlds are warring and Presa just died like Alvin what part of this is getting better for you. You shot Leia.

She's enjoying the story a lot, or at least finding it more memorable than Zestiria's. Tbh I find the actual story of both to be sorta forgettable but man do I love these characters ❤

We talked about Tales characters for a long while, especially Alvin. I appreciate how his background is actually more unique in the series, being a sort of refugee or an immigrant really. We discussed the recurring character archetypes like the good hearted protags and the suspicious sad bastards and the quirky genki girls while also noting what makes each individual character unique. Man I love Tales characters ❤❤

We kept laughing though because of the lofi jazz music in Elympios and I kept imagining Alvin playing saxophone in the back and cackling

It's funny that Elize scared of the dark when she's the dark magic user. Sis: "You grew up in a shack, you should be used to this!"

Gaius actually considered Jude's approach and tried to use the Volt spyrite. Sis: "He used WWJD: What would Jude do?"

Fought Volt with Rowen's rock arte and we had TWO spheres rolling around. Me: "We're basically just playing marbles."

Everyone keeps crediting Jude for asking Balan questions about spyrixes. Like Jude didn't invent this technology (yet), he literally just asked how it worked and now they have a solution to the entire power crises. Yay! Good work, Jude!

We got a little tired by the next field area (that I don't remember the name of), so we'll pick up from there next time :)

masterpost link here

#dolphin plays xillia #we are getting VERY close to the end now and im excited #i really want to play another tales with her once were done but once school starts she will probably be too busy and stressed :(

[markantonys]

lord of chaos chapter 41-end: part 1 (i decided to split this into 2 posts bc it was SO LONG lmao i will post the second one in a little while so as not to flood your dashes all at once)

fair warning for min and min/rand fans, i get pretty critical of them in the beginning portion of this post so you may want to skip to the middle

“she hated the very idea of women being weak when it came to men. there was just one problem; she was fairly certain she was going to find out just what it was like very soon now.” very soon? min i hate to break it to you but you’ve ALREADY traveled across half the continent (multiple times) and changed your whole wardrobe purely for rand. she acknowledges it and is embarrassed with herself, but that doesn’t make me any less annoyed. i’m blaming the author more than the character tho because ever since min decided she’s in love with rand it’s felt like a case of r/menwritingwomen. not ALL women suddenly want to wear perfume and grow their hair out when they like a guy! min even briefly wishes she’d worn a dress to see rand, and we saw how uncomfortable she was wearing dresses in tsr! i have no problem with elayne acting like this bc she’s been established as an avid dress-wearer and someone who cares about clothes and her appearance, so it fits her character, but it’s so contrary to how min was established as a character. nothing but respect for min wanting to look hot for her crush, but i just wish it wasn’t so tied up with gender norms. it feels like she thinks she *has* to present more stereotypically feminine in order for rand to find her attractive, which stinks and again, reflects more on the in-text society and the society in which it was written than on min herself.

honestly i just want to shout “pull yourself together!” at min every time she thinks about rand lmao i do not believe she is supposed to be in her late 20s! it was mentioned in a previous book that she’s older than nynaeve and in this book we learn nynaeve is 26. if i did not know those facts and you asked me how old i thought min was, i would say like 18. “but emily, elayne acts immature about rand too” yes but she is actually 18 (as we learn in this book) and a sheltered princess with 0 relationship experience to boot, so that’s more understandable. i’m really looking forward to what the show will do with min because from what little we saw of her in s1 she seems so chill and mature. they’ve already done a lot better with having nynaeve act like a reasonable adult (while still being her stubborn bastard nynaeve self) so i’m hoping min will benefit similarly.

it is so frustrating because min has the potential to be such a fun and unique character, but she just DOES NOT DO ANYTHING besides think about rand! in 6 books, she has not had any real plotline or character development that wasn’t rand-centric! even helping siuan was (iirc) half motivated by “i want to get out of here so i can go see rand.” you could take min out of the whole series and so far nothing important would be affected but siuan’s escape. setting aside the debate of who’s the best love interest for rand, elayne and aviendha are infinitely more compelling characters so far because they have so much more going on in their lives besides loving rand and they affect the plot in meaningful ways. now, if i was a wheel of time character, would i ever do anything besides love and think about and simp for rand? absolutely not, but min should be better than me jfkjgh

taking off my complaining hat to say that the min/rand reunion was so sweet!!!! they are so happy to see each other!!! rand picking her up and spinning her around 🥺

putting my complaining hat back on to say that they have such wonderful platonic chemistry, but the romantic dimension feels forced to me. i wish they could just be besties!

elayne’s newest letter to rand: “i have made my feelings clear to you. know that they have not changed. i hope that you feel for me what i feel for you.” ARGH what the fuck!!! elayne KNOWS that she hasn’t made her feelings clear and has been worried about it and wishing she could take back the mean letter and clear things up with rand! why on earth would she send a letter like this? make it make sense! again blaming the author over the character, i feel like rj is just dragging out the miscommunication for drama, far past the point of reasonable character behavior. the only explanation i can think of is that maybe elayne was worried min would read the letter and she didn’t want min to see any weak points in elayne’s relationship with rand. elayne does also write “i love min like a sister and hope you love her as i do” which could be a subtle way of trying to put rand off seeing min as a romantic interest.

“elayne is so beautiful i can’t help staring, but half the time i don’t know whether she wants me to kiss her or kneel at her feet.” both, rand. both is good. “truth to tell, sometimes i did want to kneel...and worship, the light help me.” rand outing himself as a sub to min jdkfjg she must be like “interesting 👀”

“did nobody ever tell you it isn’t polite to talk to one woman about another?” and there i was feeling so happy and refreshed to see a man and a woman having a conversation without beating each other, themselves, and me about the head with the fact that one is a man and one is a woman

rand says he doesn’t think of min as a woman and min gets offended. i can’t help but think of that tweet that’s like “if you want a girlfriend who acts like one of the boys why don’t you just date one of your boys” lmfao i mean really, with all the times rand, mat, and perrin complain about how women are sooOoOoOOoOOoo confusing and hard to deal with, they should just date each other

what do you want to bet that the reason min is (straight male) readers’ fav rand love interest is because she’s Not Like Other Girls and she spends all her time fawning over rand and not having her own life outside of him

[after rand says he’ll push aviendha and elayne away to protect them] “why, rand? what gives you the right to make a choice like that for them?” absolutely correct min! tho it is awfully rich coming from someone who advocated for cutting rand up like a pie to share between the 3 of them, without any concern for what HE wants (which i fully acknowledge elayne and aviendha were just as bad about in their recent convo in salidar, lest you think i’m being too biased against min haha)

thus commences the whole thing where min puts the tricks she learned from leane to the test and keeps sitting in rand’s lap and kissing him and walking around seductively (and pinching his ass and sitting in on his baths, we learn later). this is so weird and i hate it! i’m getting secondhand embarrassment. rand is sort of enjoying it but also sort of really uncomfortable - we the readers know it’s because he has a subconscious crush on min and her flirting with him is flustering him, but min doesn’t know that and *he* doesn’t even quite know that. so it kinda comes off as borderline harassment. rand even at one point tells her “i wish you wouldn’t do that” and she doesn’t stop. aviendha does this too to some extent with changing and being naked in front of an uncomfortable rand, but at least that can be partially excused by cultural differences and her perhaps not realizing this would make rand uncomfortable. still, everyone (not just romantic interests) is constantly violating rand’s boundaries! and walking in on his baths!

min why don’t you just tell him you like him??? you’re an adult! despite her mixed-signal-letters, so far elayne is the only one who’s actually told rand to his face that she likes him. but then the letters happened. no wonder rand is so confused about his love life!

i’m sorry min fans and min/rand fans, i’m trying so hard to like them but i’m just not vibing with them yet! maybe in the next books as they spend more time together my opinion will become more favorable

last thing i’ll say about them in this book: it would’ve been so much better if min was at this point still resisting her fate of falling in love with rand, and then only now that she’s actually spending time with him and getting to know him better does she finally start falling for him (like, imagine how powerful it would’ve been if The Box and all that was what made min finally realize she has real feelings for him and it’s not just fate anymore!)

moving on. i love min and melaine bonding! unexpected friendships between characters who are crossing paths for the first time are so fun. rand is just sitting there like:

“when an aes sedai shows me she has as much honor as egwene, i will trust her, and not before” egwene and the wise ones make me so ❤️❤️❤️❤️

rand’s school is named the black tower and they’ve all acquired some bitchin all-black outfits and bitchin silver and gold pins. huge Dramatic Bisexual move by rand (although in his defense the name wasn’t his idea, and idk if the outfits were). can’t have his asha’man being anything less than style icons.

there is some kind of belligerent homoerotic energy in rand and taim’s relationship. rand getting all weird and fucked up inside whenever taim is around: what could it mean? why am i feeling this way?

mat in salidar repeatedly gets asked to be a warder. the Warder Mat seeds are all there and i am so pissed off it doesn’t ever come to fruition!!!

mat accidentally hitting on siuan bc he doesn’t recognize her LMAO not sure on whose behalf i was more horrified

“i used to think rand knew [about women], but perrin surely does” mat has finally acknowledged rand is bad with women! incredible character development

“knowing [egwene], she was trying very hard to be what they had named her, and they let her walk alone, with everybody watching. to the pit of doom with them if they think they can treat a two rivers woman that way, he thought grimly.” and then, despite his total lack of respect for aes sedai, mat makes a show of bowing to egwene and calling her mother 🥺 “egwene looked startled at first, though she hid it quickly. then she smiled, and said softly, ‘thank you, mat.’” 🥺🥺❤️❤️ this whole moment was so so sweet and i’m crying. why do i have a bad feeling they might never see each other again after this :( since from my vague spoiler knowledge it seems like mat’s gonna spend most of the rest of the series cut off from the rest of the main characters (aside from ebou dar in the next book)

oh and then immediately in egwene’s pov she reveals that she’s using mat lmao well it was still a sweet moment!

gaul wants to marry chiad, and she wants him as a lover but doesn’t want to give up the spear to marry him. “bain seemed to be part of it too, somehow; perrin did not understand how.” an implied bisexual love triangle! fuck yeah! it really was a perfect choice for the show in the 2020s to make queer relationships explicitly clear and canon because there are so many aspects of the series that flirt with queerness (the biggest being rand’s polycule and aiel customs) but never quite commit since it was the 90s

RAND AND PERRIN REUNION 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰 rand laughs and smiles so much in this scene and in his reunion with loial a little later!! oh my boys! together again! if only mat was here too!

“faile had very few faults” aw perrin ❤️ you certainly changed your tune from the last time we saw you tho lmao “but she did have a slight tendency toward jealousy” just a slight one

perrin describing rand’s different new air as “when it seemed hope was gone but you went on fighting because the cost of giving up was too great” 🗡️💔

“suddenly [perrin] found himself wondering how rand’s sanity was holding. light, it had to hold, at least until tarmon gai’don. he took a long swallow of the punch to wash the bitter thought out of his mouth. what a way to think about a friend.” and later rand’s pov “he hoped perrin got on well with bashere. but then, if they struck sparks, maybe perrin would be more amenable to tear. he needed either perrin or mat there to convince sammael that that was the true attack. the thought brought a soft, bitter laugh. light, what a way to think about a friend.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭 if i had to pick 1 onion headline to sum up this whole series it would be Kids Grow The Fuck Up So Fast These Days

“his face softened almost to the rand perrin remembered” they talk about emond’s field for a while, but then rand kills the mood. “the new rand was back.” 💔💔💔

“‘i’ll never forget the first time davram took me by the scruff of the neck and showed me he was the stronger of us. it was magnificent!’ perrin blinked; that was an image his mind could not hold” poor perrin, he just met his parents-in-law and they’re already oversharing about their sex life jfkgjh

saldaean views on marriage and gender roles are.....uh......interesting. but like all the different cultures’ gender roles we’ve seen, such as aiel maidens and roofmistresses and ogier marriage customs and whatever the hell’s going on in ebou dar, it just feels like a cosmetic difference, and the exact same gender essentialism as all other cultures have is still there under the surface. which is absolutely batshit insane! there is literally no reason why every single culture, all the many countries and cities across the continent and especially the aiel and ogier whose cultures have developed in complete isolation, should have the same “women think men are stupid and men think women are crazy” attitude. it makes no fucking sense!

#wot #wot book spoilers