I honestly had hoped that when I started college, things would be different. I thought maybe college would be the place to make connections and friends and maybe I finally would have some friends but no, all the people that I call my friends they are so fake, they are never there, they never call or check on me, no texts, fucking nothing. They only call when they need something, they don’t know me. They just pretend to be my friend and stab me in the back and do horrible things, first semester was tough. The second semester was going on, which btw was also going horrible when this pandemic happened. I feel so lonely when I see people on Instagram, putting up pictures of people they love, I feel like everybody is making connections but here I am alone again, feeling like I don’t fit in. Feeling alone in crowds and fake friends, why am I always there for those shitheads? I feel anxious about going back to my horrible fake roomates/ friends. I tried changing but all the hostel rooms were full, I’m stuck with them and I can’t do anything about it.
ich bin kein kleines kind mehr, dass sich ständig einen Kopf macht ob ihr eigenes Verhalten anderen passt oder nicht. Du bist sauer ? Schön für dich. Reiß dein Maul auf und sag was, denn ich werde mir bestimmt nicht den Kopf zerbrechen und dir hinterherlaufen um dich zu fragen ob ich etwas falsches, deiner Meinung nach gemacht habe. Wenn du nicht mit mir klar kommst, ist das ganz allein dein Problem, welches mich nicht interessiert. Entweder gehst oder bleibst du. Keiner zwingt dich.
This may seem stupid, but seeing that they are making a Sonic 2 has got me sad and my anxiety and depression is starting to rise. This time last year I had a boyfriend and friends I met through him. We went to movies all the time. We went out to eat . We all hung out. As soon as we broke up, all that ended. I haven’t heard from him or his friends who claimed they were mine as well. Now this movie is coming out and every store and restaurant is opening. I’m feeling kinda empty and lonely as well. I miss how happy I was. I miss how my life was just falling in place. Now I have no one again. It sucks to just reach a level of safe and secure and happy only to lose it all so fast. How am I supposed to move on when I have no one left? I have no friends. I have no one to care. How can people claim to love, care, be forever with you, or have your back and leave you and stab you in the back and front? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?!
Been asking myself if you even think at all. Did you even notice that you only talk to me when you need something? When you’ve got a fight with your boyfriend or some girlfriend drama? This is when you talk to me, and that‘s basically it. When I’ve mentioned something about myself, which also was when we were done talking about you for literal hours, I had to wait for a reply for days. Only actually got an answer because I double texted. It’s not always PEOPLE dissapointing YOU. It’s not always their fault. Something you gotta learn, at least someday. With or without me.
- another message of rage I’ll never get to deliver💔
The person I have hurt has hurt me even more. But why am I the only one feeling guilty? Do they feel guilty too? Why am I the only one crying? Do they cry too?
But maybe the thoughts are true and I’m not worth it.
I caught my “friend” talking shit about me a couple months ago. I never said anything about it, but I’ve never really trusted her ever since. :/
Toxic friends are like chapstick,
Never there when you need them.
~diary thoughts~ #148
People think I’m shy because I don’t talk too much. (I’m actually very talkative if you get to know me.) But no one wants to get to know me. I try to make an effort to socialize, but no one returns the effort. So I stop trying, cause getting dry responses online and in real life suck.
lol i wish i had friends that actually want to be friends with me
Možeš da me ismevaš, da me vređaš, da govoriš sve najgore o meni, preći ću uvek preko svega toga.
Ali zapamti i nemoj se nikada začuditi i zapitati kada na sve to stavim tačku i završim sa tobom!
Amikor a legnagyobb baj történik az életedben,akkor tudod meg kik az igaz barátaid
You can meet one person outside your household
But none of my friends are contacting me
They’ve contacted each other, multiple times
But never me, not even a whisper
Why don’t I just contact them? If they’re not messaging me then they obviously don’t care enough about me. I don’t want them to feel forced to meet with me just because I asked.
They have to make the effort because I’m tired of dealing with this shit no matter what I do
Can we really be friends if you talk over me, often ignore me, and readily embrace others before you consider me? Friendship is not something so freely given by me but I don’t know if I have the strength to revoke it from you or the strength to watch you be crippled by your fear of confrontation. Your aversion to guilt is the only thing keeping me from uttering the words “you’re being a bad friend” because I know that is not your intent. Even the best hearts can make toxic, selfish choices.
-Nighttime musings, 26 MAY
hé, amúgy fáj
We could be friends again if you weren’t such a liberal sjw and were willing to resolve things and reconcilie our friendship putting the past behind us. But no, one of you has to be immature and insult me and make up false rumors about me that aren’t even true. People are fucking assholes man.
Shocking to see how little a friendship meant to someone. You should realise manipulative behaviours and not let people take advantage of you!
I use to want to hang out with you all the time. I used to leave my Grandma’s house early so I could get back and see you. Now I barely see you. Now I don’t really want to see you. But do you know who I want to see? My Grandma. Sadly, I don’t have that option anymore. A part of me hates you because of it, but I can’t blame you for that. I only have myself to blame.