Soul ties - Part 10 (Bucky Barnes au)

“And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed,

You put me on  and said I was your favourite”

Word count : 1712

Going back to everyone wasn't even as awkward as you'd predicted ; what had just happened with Bucky was pretty obvious. Yet, all the guests decided to cheer you up and spend their night telling you jokes or just talking to you about random memories. When you went back to your  room for good, you made sure Bucky walked you there : you were silently thanking Steve for giving you a room this far away from the others, since it gave you the opportunity to speak freely.

"So, about earlier,"  you started, "I think..."

"Hum,  yeah. I get it must be complicated for you." He scratched the back of his head as you stopped in front of your bedroom door.

"It's not, actually." You looked him in the eyes. "I know exactly what I want."

Something gleamed in his eyes – a hint of hope, maybe.

"You do?" he asked. "I don't want you to be in this situation, so..."

"I swear," — you gently grabbed the front of his shirt  – "I promise I know you're who I want." You lowered your gaze. "I'd be a fool to pretend otherwise."

Bucky tilted his head down to see you better, breathing on the tip of your nose. "This makes me...really happy." He kissed your nose, making you feel an instant warmth in your chest. "Now go get some rest. You've had an eventful night."

"You're right." You let go of him to grab the doorknob and turned around. "Wait, before I go..." You span and placed your hands on his shoulders to help you reach his height and planted a kiss on his lips again. "I really wanted to do this again."

You chuckled and left him at the door, quickly closing it behind you so that he wouldn't see you smiling like a teenager. Changing into your pyjamas, you were still unable to think about anything else than the  first kiss you'd shared and the emotion it'd gifted you with. You chose not to go to sleep right away : you knew a knock on your door would come. Around twenty minutes afterwards, you were ready to open the door to your sister right after hearing her.

"So, that happened," she said when she sat on your bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Don't you already know that?" you teased. "I thought you were supposed to be a mind-reading enchantress or something. Your skills are getting rusty, sis."

Wanda couldn't help but laugh before asking her question  again. "Seriously, I want to hear it from you, not  from your thought process. It's too much of a mess anyway."

You rolled your eyes at the skies  before sitting next to her. "It was... I don't know how to describe it." You shrugged. "It felt right."

"And what are you going to do about Darren? I heard you saying you were over, but are you actually doing it?"

You stopped to think for a moment. What would divorcing Darren concretely mean? You'd have to go through a divorce procedure, and you didn't know how those were  supposed to go. Maybe you could  ask Tony if he knew any good lawyers who might you out. But there was another thing you'd need to do.

"I'll  go get my stuff tomorrow. I'm thinking  of asking Tony if I can stay here...permanently."

You wrapped your hands around your legs and rested your chin on your knees.

"I'll go with you. I don't trust him."

"Thanks, Wanda."

Your sister hugged you tight before lying down next to you.

"I'm here for you. We're family," she noted. "Now get some sleep ; you need it."

You lay next to her and as it turned out, you fell asleep pretty fast. Maybe soulmates had that effect on people.

---

"He's not even here," you remarked. "Even after our fight last night, he doesn't bother showing up at his own apartment."

Darren's behaviour was already heating up your anger, and you were once  again patting yourself on the shoulder for refusing both Steve and  Sam's help that day. They would not have handled this by calming you down. Maybe Steve would've tried, but well, even he had his limits. Messing with his family was one of them.

Your sister followed you to your bedroom, where you dragged a suitcase from under your bed. When you opened it, Wanda's eyes lingered for a second : it wasn't empty.

"Were you packing for a trip?" she asked.

You looked away and shrugged. "I don't know if I was planning for a honeymoon or a bad fight," you admitted. "Turns out it's the latter." You kept running around the place, packing everything from your most random flannel shirt to your favourite coffee mug.

"I think I'm ready to go," you ended up saying as you closed your suitcase. "I'm- wait. Did you hear the door too?"

"Y/n?"

"Fuck." You looked at Wanda, who'd recognised Darren's voice as well. You walked out of the bedroom, your suitcase rolling behind you. Your husband's eyes fell on your luggage before going back to you. You tried searching for any trace of sadness on his face ; all you found was anger and disappointment.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked. "And what is she doing here?"

"Wanda's here because she wanted to help me get as far away from you as possible," you replied. "My whereabouts are none of your business anymore."

"You can't just leave like that. You're still my wife, as far as I know."

"Not for long."

Darren's face got bright red as he went in the kitchen. You knew he was about to start yelling, so you went for the door. His arm stopped you ; you hadn't seen him turn around. He grabbed your wrist, causing you to let out a faint scream. Wanda didn't need any more excuses to use her abilities.  She pinned him against the wall with a slight gesture of her hand.

"Don't you touch her again," she breathed. "You don't want me to use my full strength."

You could see Darren's nostrils flaring with anger and his fist clenching. You hated seeing him like this : some part of you still remembered the guy you'd fallen for several years earlier and you wished you could've made him stay like that.

"Don't blame  yourself for his behaviour, y/n," Wanda told you, not looking away from Darren. "Trust me, this man can't be changed. He'll always be a douchebag."

Your sister let go of him and opened the apartment's door for you. You were finally stepping out of that place, walking away from Darren.

"So what?" you heard him yell. "You're just gonna go back to that weird staring guy?"

You turned around and stared at him. You were done looking down and letting him hurt you. "Stop."

"What is it, huh?" – He walked closer to you and you gestured towards Wanda to let her know you were okay. "Is he better in better in bed than I am? Because I highly doubt that any man could make a good one out of you."

"Wow, you got to this level of insults. I shouldn't be surprised, coming from you." You paused, unsure of what his reaction would be to your next words. "I'll have divorce papers sent to you."

His jaw dropped, your words leaving him speechless. HIs insults still left a bitter taste in your mouth as you did your best to hide your pain. You didn't think such a long relationship could end like this, in a heartbeat, in the drop of a coffee cup.

Going back to the compound seemed to take less time than it took going to Darren's place. You were looking out of the window in silence, even though you knew your sister was holding back her remarks about Darren : you didn't need mind-reading powers to know that.

"Go ahead. Tell me I should've seen it coming."

"I'm not going to tell you that. Believe it or not, I wish I'd been wrong about him."

You gave Wanda a side glance : her grip on the stirring wheel was stern but her eyes were filled with sympathy.

"But I should've seen it coming. Damn, I despised his friends the moment I met them and he's just like them."

Wanda chuckled, which seemed inappropriate at first. "You didn't see that coming."

These words forced a smile out of you. "He would kick his ass, wouldn't he?"

"Absolutely. And he wouldn't be gentle about it."

You fiddled with your fingers. "Moments like these... I miss him the most."

"I know." Your sister's hand grabbed yours for a second before going back to the wheel. Her voice had gotten a little shaky from the emotion. "I also know he would've liked Bucky for you."

"Maybe. I shouldn't rush into this, though."

"Wait, what?" Wanda was confused, it seemed. How could she not be?

"Wanda, I just got out of a long relationship. I'm not even divorced yet. Bucky deserves better than this mess of a situation."

"Oh c'mon, he won't care about that. Have you seen how the man looks at you?"

A grin made its way to your lips as you remembered the numerous occasions Bucky  had laid his blue eyes on you, and yesterday, on your lips.

"I feel like I can't do this to him, you know? There are so many things I like about him, from the way he bothers pronouncing my name correctly, not the bland American way, to the habit he has of scratching his neck... You  know, dumb stuff. But what do I have to offer him? I'm not..."

"Stop. That's Darren speaking, not you," your sister softly reprimanded you. "You're worth so much more than you think you are. I also know that the guy who's going to rush to you to make sure you're okay is falling in love with you, if he hasn't already. His mind is almost as big a mess as yours."

"Wow, that's a first," you joked, the mention of love making you anxious. "The mess thing, I mean."

"Yeah, sure," — she snickered – "the mess thing."

--- They're getting serious, guys! I hope this part was good and that you liked it. Part 11 will come soon. :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3

Bucky as White Wolf: Amazing fanart/concept by instagram artist spdrmnkyxxiii

You tell them, Sam!

Steve was right to choose you as the next Captain America.

- watching Marvel's The Falcon and The Winter Soldier.

Update: still a Bucky kinnie

late night kisses

by @Gomiidd

by @happymodok

DANNY RAMIREZ as JAOQUIN TORRES

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier: A New World Order

by miliflaiart

megan | galaxyinblue sur Instagram : “So we’re a couple of guys.” “I can live with that.” “Perfect.” . .

We can all clearly see that Bucky puts up walls; and who could blame him? Man's been through a lot.

But what I think we overlook is that Sam isn't very open, either.

He talks a lot, but doesn't freely talk about personal things. He's just better at hiding it.

When it comes to other people's problems, he's always the one to try and fix it.

But when it comes to his own problems...who helps him?

Hiii ✨

I know I’ve been a little inactive so I though I’d share some current wips with you guys, hope you enjoy them 🖤

Uni is pretty stressful atm and my mental health is not too good, so my paintings take a bit longer 🥲

Also those fanarts are not related or something I’m just working parallel on them ^^

Oh hey it’s me again!

I was thinking a fic where Bucky and Sam are arguing cause Sam did something reckless on a mission and Bucky freaks out but oblivious Sam genuinely has no idea why. And then Bucky accidentally yells ‘because I love you’

Pls and thank you!

{{ HELLO WELCOME BACK!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!! I...LOVE prompts like this. And like... i know you just sent this but i saw it and had to write it immediately. It also got way longer than i expected, and there is some spicy stuff at the end, so there's that! Hopefully that's okay! I had no control! Haha! Thank so much again!!!!! I hope you like it!!!! }}

Ao3

Word Count: 4,031

Warnings: Some light angst, love confessions, and some implied sexual things at the end!

Reckless Idiots Tend to Fall For Each Other

Sam wakes up in the hospital,  his head fuzzy, pain shooting through his ribs like lightning when he takes a deep breath. He squeezes his eyes shut tight, trying to relax back into the bed without causing any more pain.

"Sam? Hey you good?" Torres.  That's the voice Sam hears. He's still grimacing through pain, he relaxes his body at once, making a noise like he'd been punched. He opens his eyes, keeping his breathing shallow.

"Do I look good?" He grumbles, looking at Torres. The kid gives him this look, a worried look that makes him look like a fucking puppy.

"Honestly you probably look better than you feel." He says, fingers drumming on his knee.

"Yeah. Well you look nervous." Sam watches the kid flinch and glance at the door.

"I'm not nervous. I'm just on edge. Totally different." He says, eyes moving to the door and back again. Sam looks to the door slowly, expecting to see someone standing there, maybe someone watching them, there's no one there.

"Why are you on edge?" Sam asks, his palms pressing flat agaisnt the bed, he wants to move desperately, but he knows it'll hurt.

"Nothing it's just... Bucky." Torres says, quietly, like he doesn't want to be over heard, like he doesn't want to be saying it at all. Sam's stomach drops.

"What about Bucky? Is he okay?" Sam asked, keeping his voice impressively level for the amount fear turing his blood to ice at the moment. Torres' eyes widen and he raises his hands.

"Oh he's fine! Oh my god I'm sorry, no. He's- he's good he's fine, he's just... grumpy." Torres says, his voice going low again, like he might be heard through the walls. Sam blinks hard, his head still fuzzy from the meds, and looks around the room slowly, finally realizing that Bucky is nowhere to be seen.

"Is he here?" Sam asks, praying that he doesn't sound as hopeful as he feels. But Torres gives him those puppy dog eyes again and he knows he failed.

"Yeah. He just went to get some air I think. And maybe some water. He said he was thristy, kinda mumbled it. I asked him to bring me one, but I don't think he will. I don't think he likes me very much." The kid was rambling, if Sam's chest wasn't full of fire he'd have laughed at him.

"He likes you fine. He's just... like that." Sam says, moving his shoulders slowly, shrugging. Torres smiles at him and nods.

"That's fair. He's been through a lot." Sam smiles, Torres was mainly talking to himself now.

"Yes. He has." Sam sighs, resting his head back on his pillow. He tires to do some mental calculations, of his pain, but also of what had happened. He couldn't remember it very clearly. He remembers catching the little kid that had almost fallen, remembers nearly throwing them back up onto the building. And he remembers falling. The wind rushing in his ears as he fell through the dark. His wings had stopped working.

"I fell." Sam whispers, looking at Torres.

"Yeah. You did. For a little bit. You don't remember what happened?" His brow was furrowed with concern. Sam shook his head and almost yelled, pain stabbed at his head when he moved. Sam moved his hand up, feeling the bandage wrapped there.

"Jesus." He breathed, moving his hand down, and turning his head, slowly, to look at his friend.

"Tell me what happened." Sam said. Torres nodded and wiggled his chair forward a bit, the metal legs scraping on the tile making them both wince. Torres talked, and Sam listened. His heart pounding in his chest as he recounted the details.

Sam had fallen, hitting his head on the way down. And Bucky had jumped after him. No wings, no way to catch him really, but he'd jumped. And he'd caught him. He'd slammed into him mid air, wrapped one arm around Sam's middle, and he'd reached out with the other. His metal hand finding purchase on the building they'd been on top of seconds before. Torres had watched as Bucky's metal fingers had ripped into the side of the building, sliding down it, sending sparks flying, Sam held close to him as the ground approached. Torres had dove, and made it to them just in time to slow them down, lifting them both just enough to set them gently... ish, on the ground.

Sam stared at Torres. His heart pounding, his ears ringing, not knowing what to say. Torres looked back, that sad look on his face.

"He broke three of your ribs, but he saved you." Torres finally said, offering something else for Sam to react to.

"He jumped off the building." Sam said, not sure if it was a question or not. Torres nodded at him.

"He dove off. Like a swan dive. He has good form." Torres said, smiling. His face dropped into one of contemplation.

"Hey isn't he afraid of heights?" Torres asked as the door to Sam's room opened, and Bucky walked in, freezing in place when he sees Sam is awake.

"Yes, yes he is." Sam says, no longer looking at Torres.

"Yes who is what?" Bucky mumbled, his brow furrowed as he stared at Sam.

"Nothing." They both responded. Bucky's eyes moved to look at Torres, who looked at the floor immediately, his cheeks flushing, looking like a child who's just been caught causing trouble. And then his eyes were on Sam again. He stared for a moment and then narrowed his eyes.

"How do you feel?" He asked, his voice low, and there was something else there too, in his voice, Sam wasn't completely sure but he thought he sounded... mad?

"Okay I guess. My chest hurts. And my head. But I'm sure I'll live." Sam huffed, trying a small laugh and a smile. Bucky nodded once, his jaw clenching.

"This time." He says, his voice cold, and Sam watches him turn on his heel and walk out of the room again. The door slams closed and Sam flinches, grimacing from the pain it invites. He stares at the door for a long time before moving his eyes back to Torres. And fuck, he's got that sad fucking look again.

"Told you he was grumpy." Torres says, giving Sam an awkward smile, his lips pressed together.

"Yeah." Sam sighs, not knowing what else to say. Bucky hadn't looked at him like in a long time, and he definitely hadn't spoken to him that way. Sam wasn't sure he'd ever spoken to him like that. His voice had been so cold. And his eyes, they'd been dark. But despite those things, there had been some deep emotion behind his eyes, something he was holding back. Sam groaned and closed his own eyes. Knowing Torres was watching over him, he let himself fall into the dark once more.

~

He was in the hospital for a week. His doctors monitoring his head wound with care, and making sure his ribs didn't shift to any dangerous positions. Bucky didn't come back.

His room was always bustling though, doctors and nurses and Torres and Sarah and his nephews, but never Bucky. Not once.

Sarah picked him up on friday evening, asking if he'd come by. She accepted Sam's silence as an answer and didn't ask him again. They pulled up in front of her house and Sam frowned.

"There's someone in the kitchen. The boys aren't allowed to cook by themselves anymore." Sam mused, side eyeing his sister. She sighed and looked at him, her hand going to his shoulder.

"Don't be mad. And be nice. There's no fighting over dinner in this house. You remember that." She slapped his shoulder playfully and got out. Sam followed her slowly, his ribs aching, his heart pounding in his chest as he peeked in the window, the blinds were drawn but it didn't matter. He knew that silhouette. Knew those shoulders.

Sarah opened the door for him and the sounds of laughter hit him, spreading warmth further in his chest. The boys were clearly laughing at something Bucky had said. Sam breathed in heavily and almost stumbled, something smelled delicious.

"We're home! Be gentle." Sarah called and then admonished as the boys began to run to him, Bucky caught Cass around the middle easily and held him up. AJ had stopped rushing forward on his own. Bucky set the boy back down, not looking at Sam.

"Go wash your hands before dinner." He said, patting the boy's back twice, smiling at them as they both moved toward the sink.

"Smells good." Sarah said, moving to the table to look over the food that was already set out there. Sam's head was swimming, Bucky had a towel thrown over his shoulder, and he looked, comfortable. Or he did, until Sam took a step toward him. His eyes moved to Sam finally and they still had that look. Sam hadn't see him in a week and he was still glaring at him. He could feel Sarah's eyes on them, so he took a deep breath and moved a step back.

He felt, odd. Out of sorts. In his sisters kitchen. He just wanted to talk to Bucky, alone, figured out what the hell was going on. But the boys ran to the table, bumping into each other as they went, and the moment was over. Sam shook his head gently and watched Bucky peek into the over before grabbing the towel from his shoulder. He wiped at his hands and sighed.

"This needs about ten more minutes Sarah." He said.

"You leaving?" She asked, but Sam knew that voice, she'd known he would leave, but she sounded disappointed anyway. The boys settled into their chairs with a chorus of boo's, Bucky nodded, walking past Sam with a glance and a tight lipped smile.

"Yeah. Don't think I'll be very good company tonight." He mumbled into her shoulder as she pulled him close.

"Okay well," she paused, giving him a squeeze before letting him go.

"Thanks for watchin the boys, and makin dinner." She said, patting his cheek.

"Boys what do say?" She prompted, turning to look at them.

"Thank you Bucky!"

"Thanks for dinner!" They chimed at the same time, talking over each other.

"Hey anytime." He said with a laugh, walking past them and dodging a few punches, he paused at the door, looking at all of them

"Welcome back. Enjoy your dinner." He said, his smile much warmer now, and there was, sadness, in his eyes.

"Thanks." Sam mumbled, stilling feeling lost in his sisters kitchen. Sarah waved and closed the door behind Bucky. She moved her eyes to Sam. And stared at him. She moved her hand back to the door knob.

"You're going after-"

"I'm gonna go after him." Sam finsihed,  walking out the door she opened for him. He rolled his eyes at her smug smile and cheeky whispered "Good luck."

~

"Hey." Sam said to Bucky retreating figure. Bucky didn't stop.

"Hey!" Sam called louder, starting after him, not moving very quickly as nearly every step sent pain shooting through him. Bucky kept walking.

"Would you wait a damn minute man!?" He yelled, grimacing in pain as he kept going. Bucky stopped. But didn't turn around.

"Go back inside Sam. Just go eat." He said over his shoulder.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on." Sam said, hobbling closer still, he could see the tention making Bucky's shoulders bunch.

"Nothins goin on man. I'm just tired. Those kids got a lotta energy ya know." He was aiming for nonchalant and noncommittal. He missed by a mile.

"Bucky." Sam said, no answer.

"Just," Sam swallowed hard, the lump in his throat starting to burn.

"Just tell me what I did wrong man. Cuz clearly it was something." Sam said, his voice pleading. And had he done something wrong? He wasn't sure. Bucky was... touchy,  about a lot of things. Sam took a startled step back as Bucky rounded on him, his eyes shining.

"What you did wrong?" He asked, incredulous. Sam nodded, not trusting any words to make it past the fire in his throat.

"Jumped off a goddamn building. When you knew, you knew, your wings weren't working." Bucky growled, Sam heard his metal arm hum and saw his fists clenched at his sides.

"You caught me." Sam said, a bit dumbly. Bucky's jaw clenched and he took a step forward.

"Barely." Bucky breathed, his voice low.

"And that went well. You're fuckin ribs are broken. And what if i hadn't? Huh? If I hadn't caught you, where the fuck would you be then?" He asked, his lips curled in a snarl. Sam had never seen him this angry. He swallowed, his heart pounding in his ears.

"Torres was there. He'd have caught me." He reasoned, finding it hard to look away from Bucky's intense stare.

"Yeah? Maybe not. I slowed you down and he just barley made it to us. He was too fucking far away. And you shouldn't have fucking jumped." He said, his finger poking into Sam's shoulder.

"Alright look, I see what you're gettin at man, but that's the job. And he did catch us." Sam said, trying to reach out to Bucky, to put his hand on his shoulder, try to bring him back down. Bucky pushed his hand away.

"That's not the fucking point." He spat, rolling his eyes and turning away from Sam.

"Then what is the point? Help me understand." Sam said, doing his best to keep the tremor in his voice at bay.

"The point? You," he turned back toward Sam quickly,

"Need to stop being so goddamn reckless." Bucky said, his chest was rising and falling quickly now, like he'd just been running. Sam was so fucking confused. Recklessness was basically half of their job.

"I need to stop being reckless? You jumped of that roof too Buck. Just dove right off." Sam said, his arms flailing at his sides. What the fuck was Bucky talking about?

"I can heal!" Bucky yelled, his eyes blazing.

"I fall off a building, out of car, fuck I can jump out of a fucking airplane. I can fall off a goddamn train! But I heal!" He was still yelling, his voice breaking off an on, Sam's chest was aching, he wasn't sure what was happening but he wanted Bucky to stop worrying so much.

"Bu-"

"You fall off a building? And I'm not there to catch you? You die. You're gone. And then where the fuck would I be?" He asked, his voice was quiet now, he sounded almost as lost as Sam felt. Sam took a step forward. Bucky took a step back.

"I understand you're upset. It was a close call." Sam started, his voice soft, like he was comforting a scared animal. And hell, maybe he was.

"But man, that's the job. It's literally, one close call, after another. Every. Damn. Time. I just-" Sam sighed, squeezing his eyes shut hard and then looking at Bucky again.

"I'm still here. I'm right here. I'm okay. I just don't understand why your so pissed at me." Sam said, shrugging, trying to plead with Bucky, not sure what he was even asking for. Bucky stared at him. And then sighed.

"Just forget it man. Alright? It's nothing. Just forget it." Bucky said, sounding exhausted, he turned away again.

"Maybe I don't wanna forget it!" Sam yelled at his back, making him stop, he looked over his shoulder.

"I don't wanna forget it. You're upset. And I want you to tell me why." Sam said, crossing his arms carefully over his chest.

"It doesn't matter." Bucky said, his jaw clenched again, his voice fighting to get past his teeth.

"No?" Sam asked, walking forward, closing the space Bucky had put between them.

"It doesn't matter so much you didn't visit me for a week?" Sam pressed. Bucky's lip twitched, he looked like he was going to growl at Sam.

"Sam." A warning.

"It doesn't matter so much that you didn't even call? It's doesn't matter," he paused, poking Bucky in the shoudler like he'd done to him.

"So much that won't even have dinner with me and my family? But no I see it. I see how much it doesn't matter to you." He pushed on Bucky's shoulder until he took a step back, the fire burning in his icy blue eyes sending a shiver across Sam's skin.

"What the fuck do you want from me Sam?" Bucky did growl now, his voice rising again.

"Just tell me why the fuck you're so goddamn upset!" Sam shouted.

"Because I love you! And you almost died! Because you're a reckless fucking idiot!" Bucky shouted back. His face doing something complicated as he looked at Sam. His eyes darting around Sam's face, realizing what he'd said.

Sam couldn't breathe. His heart was pounding so hard he could feel it in his finger tips. They stood in the dark, Bucky nearly panting in front of him. Something fluttered in Sam's chest and he reached out, to touch Bucky, to grab him and pull him close, he wasn't sure. But he needed to touch him. Bucky slapped his hand away and started walking away. His boots scuffing on the asphalt.

"Bucky?" Sam called, begged, after him. He didn't turn around. Sam was frozen in place. He watched Bucky kick a cinderblock as he passed it, sending it flying into the air, it landed a few feet away, shattering agaisnt the ground.

"Goddamn it!" Sam heard him scream, his voice cracking as he walked into the dark. Sam let him go, watching him disappear into the shadows as it began to rain.

~

Sam waited four days. Four days of laying on Sarah's couch, nursing his ribs, his skin itching. He wanted to call him. To talk to him. So see him. He wanted to tell him that he wasn't alone. Sam knew how he was feeling. Every time he watched Bucky charge into danger he felt like his knees would give out. He just wanted him safe.

And Bucky had been feeling the same way. Only... deeper? Sam didn't know if that was the right word. But he did know Bucky didn't have a lot of people left. He had his sister, somewhere, he'd been too scared to go see her so far. Sam offered to go with him, when he was ready. And he had Sarah and the boys. And he had Sam. But losing family, and losing someone you love, are different things entirely.

Sam's chest ached as he stared out the window. It was still raining. It had been raining since Sam let Bucky leave. Bucky's face flashed through his mind, how open his face had been after he'd said it. His eyes moving over Sam's feature with haste. And it hit Sam suddenly. He had looked scared. Terrified. Of Sam? Of how he'd react? Of Sam not loving him back?

Sam grabbed his keys and ran out the door into the rain, the pain in his ribs completely forgotten.

~

He knocks on Bucky's door for almost twenty minutes. He knows Bucky is inside. He'd heard him turn his tv off when Sam had first knocked. It almost made him laugh. But there wasn't time for laughing. They could laugh later.

"Buck please." Sam begged, for what felt like the millionth time.

"Don't make me do this through the door." He pressed his forehead to the door for a moment, just resting there. He moved back when he heard the locks on the other side slide and click open. There was a long pause, and Sam could practically see Bucky steeling himself, setting his shoulders.

The door swung open slowly, and sure enough, Bucky's back was straight as a board. He looked tense, but his eyes were much softer than they had been the other night, though the fear still lingered. Before Sam had a chance to say his peace Bucky spoke.

"I'm sorry. I was an asshole. I was just- I was scared. I saw you fall and I thought I lost you." His voice was shaking, and Sam could see his eyes shining.

"I ca- I can't lose you too. Not you." He choked, tears falling and catching in his lashes. Sam sighed, his heart swelling in his chest as he moved forward, grabbing at Bucky finally, his hands on Bucky's neck.

"You're not gonna lose me. I'm here. I'm here and I love you too." Sam breathed, crashing their lips together. Bucky made a small noise, suprise making him gasp into the kiss, and then his hands where on Sam, pulling him closer. Bucky pulled back, looking at Sam, his eyes wide.

"Say it again." He said, breathless. Sam smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

"I love you."

A kiss pressed to his temple.

"I love you."

A kiss pressed to his nose.

"I love you i love you i love you."

He pressed kisses into Bucky's skin as he smiled brightly, his hands moving up under Sam's soaking wet shirt, fingers pressing into his back.

"I love you too." Bucky whispered, pressing closer, kissing up Sam's neck, and then pulling his earlobe between his teeth. Sam melted agaisnt him and felt Bucky smile into his shoulder. He pulled back, hands settled on Sam's hips, still under his shirt. He stared at Sam and Sam stared right back. Both of them breathless.

"Get in here." Bucky huffed, yanking on the waist of Sam's pants, pulling him through the door and closing it behind them with a kick.

He was pressed against the wall in seconds, his stomach flipping as Bucky lifted him easily off his feet, his strong hands lifting him up by the thighs. Sam wrapped his legs around Bucky's waist and moaned when Bucky rolled his hips. His teeth finding purchase on Sam's neck.

"You're all wet." Bucky breathed into his neck. Sam shivered.

"Fuckin raining." Was all Sam seemed able to manage at the moment. Bucky hummed agaisnt the mark he'd left and then shifted back, his hands shoving at Sam's shirt.

"Get this off." Bucky breathed as Sam helped him pull the shirt over his head. It was then lost somewhere behind Bucky, Sam didn't care if he ever saw it again. Bucky pressed forward, his fingers digging into Sam's back, pulling him closer as he mouthed at Sam's neck again.

"Fuck." Sam graoned, rolling his own hips in time with Bucky's. He could feel Bucky nodding against him.

"Mhm." Was the hummed response he got before Bucky was lifting him again, Sam clung to him, his heart pounding as he pulled at the hem of Bucky's shirt, letting Bucky carry him, and then lower him to the floor. Bucky knelt between his legs, staring down at Sam, his eyes fluttering as his chest rose and fell. Sam almost groaned again when Bucky pulled his shirt over his head, Sam could have sworn he hear fabric tearing but didn't have time to think anything about it before Bucky was on him. Pressing himself between Sam's legs like he was meant to be there.

Sam pulled Bucky's face to his, kissing him again, their teeth clicking as they licked into each others mouths. He felt Bucky smile against his lips and let him go. Let Bucky do what he pleased. His mouth was hot on Sam's rain wet skin and Sam thought he might die. Just like this. It'd be a nice way to go.

Bucky nipped at Sam's neck again, hands moving oh so carefully over Sam's ribs as he touched as much of Sam as he could.

Sam clung to him, let Bucky have him. All of him. The push and pull of their bodies dizzying.

He clung to Bucky, listening to him breath Sam's name like a prayer against his skin.

He clung to Bucky, and let him take him apart, let him love him, as the sun began to break through the clouds outside.

Oh.

Violence and death... is never the answer.

- watching Marvel's The Falcon and The Winter Soldier.

Marvel characters that I think are similar to John Walker (if I don't writte anything about them is because I don't have anything to say or because I don't remember anything in particular, but I still think they are similar. The truth is that I have to rewatch all the movies). Note: similar doesn't mean "the same", just in case.

Wanda Maximoff¹.

When Ultron kills Pietro, she pulls out his heart. Yes, he is a robot, but she would've done the same if Ultron was a person.

After losing Vision, she condemns an ENTIRE town to an eternal lockdown. She removes the self of everyone to impose them to live another life, and makes everyone suffer knowing that they are trapped in their own bodies.

Pietro Maximoff¹.

He actually didn't do anything that could make me think he is similar to John, but even so I think he would have seek for revenge if Wanda was killed.

Tony Stark.

When he knows that TWS killed his parents, he wants to kill him. He could have done it if Steve Rogers wasn't there to defend Bucky, actually. He even fights Steve moved by the blindness of the grief and revenge.

Nebula.

Gamora.

I wanted to writte something but I don't remember it very well so I'll pass.

Peter Quill.

When he knows about Gamora's death. I'm almost sure that if Thanos wasn't Thanos he would have beaten him to death.

Draxx.

He is dumb (and I love him) but he always had the need of killing who killed his family.

Mantis.

Rocket¹.

Characters that I didn't feel brave enough to say: Bucky, T'Challa, Killmonger¹ and Doctor Strange.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Notes:

[¹] Characters that I think would've killed everyone directly OR indirectly involved in the death of a loved one.

F-GCDP 2018 Dassault Falcon 8X Farnborough International Airshow 18.07.18 by Phil Rawlings

F-HDOR 2017 Dassault Falcon 900LX Farnborough International Airshow 18.07.18 by Phil Rawlings

by smolbus

by @bu_tan0513