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malum-forev · 1 month

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Dr. Bee

Summary: Bucky has quite the reputation but all it takes for him to want to change is an hour with an outspoken little Bee.

Bucky x Nurse!Mom!Reader

Bucky Barnes has many names. James Buchanan Barnes, Buck, The Winter Soldier, Sergeant.

But on compound grounds, and in hushed tones, he’s usually called an asshole.

He’s developed quite the reputation. Being difficult is his natural state of being.

Bucky is constantly late to meetings, doesn’t show up for media days and is always going rogue in missions.

He doesn’t know why he does it, Dr. Raynor says it’s a coping mechanism, but that doesn’t make Bucky want to change one bit. He stays away from people and makes it everyone’s problem when someone decides to talk in his vicinity.

Sam has tried to talk to him but, as per usual whatever the Falcon says, Bucky does the opposite. Sam’s even tried to convince everyone that Bucky’s like an untrained dog, he needs some kind of exposure therapy. Having people stand up to him and flat out call him what he is, that’s what he needs.

Sadly for everyone who works with Bucky Barnes, no one has the balls to do it.

But, everything changed one day.

Everyone scurried away once the quinjet landed at the Avengers compound. They’d gotten word from someone in Logistics that the mission had gone terribly and the agents had barely come out alive.

Bucky stormed into the med bay, his heels digging into the floor with such force you’d think it break, only to find it desolate.

He huffed twice, looking around for anyone who could help with a deep cut on his right arm.

“Hello?!” He yelled out, his temples throbbing and his left eye twitching.

Bucky Barnes waited for no one.

“May I help you?” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed at the meek voice coming from behind the nurse’s station. His confusion only grew deeper when he didn’t find anyone there.

A few seconds later a tiny hand popped up, wiggling its chubby fingers at him.

“I said,” The little voice drew out the last word, annoyed. “May I help you?”

Bucky leaned forward and peeked behind the large desk to find a little girl.

Standing with her hands on her hips, the little girl with pigtails looked up at him with raised eyebrows.

Her expression turned to one of concern.

“Are you hard of hearing?” The girl spoke slowly and loudly.

Bucky almost had to cover his ears from the shrill and very high tone of the girl.

“I am not hard of hearing.” Bucky finally responded.

“Then why didn’t you respond?” Little miss pigtails crosses her arms over her chest. “I asked you: may I help you?”

His right eye accompanied his left one in twitching.

After he didn’t respond, the little girl scribbled something down on a paper in front of her.

“What are you writing?” Bucky said through gritted teeth, how can a person so small get on his nerves so quickly?

“I can’t tell you.” She said in a singsong tone.

“Why not?”

“You’re not my patient.” She shrugs, rounding the nurse’s bay holding a pink unicorn lunch box, coming face to face with The Winter Soldier. Actually it was more like coming face to knee height. “Can’t talk to people who aren’t my patients. Doctor patient villigage.”

Bucky bit his bottom lip to conceal a smile. “I think you mean doctor patient privilege.”

“How would you know? You’re not my patient.” The little girl swung her lunchbox, skipping all the way to the waiting room.

He was equally shocked and impressed. This little girl had more balls than most of the agents he worked with.

Bucky looked around the med bay for anyone who knew the girl. Mom, dad, cousin, hell he’d even settle for a dog.

With a groan, he followed behind her. Sure, he was a dickhead but he couldn’t let a kid wander around the Avengers med bay all by herself.

She sat down, opening the lunch box and taking the contents out.

Bucky couldn’t help but think it was cute how her feet didn’t reach the floor. As he came closer, her swinging feet hit him in the shins.

He let out an obviously fake and over the top groan, throwing himself on the floor.

The little girl covered her mouth but her giggles bubbled around the room.

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” Bucky asked from his position on the ground. “That really hurt.”

“No it didn’t!” She laughed harder.

“Yes it did!”

“I know nothing can hurt you!” She said as her giggles died down. “I know who you are.”

“You do, huh?” Bucky sat next to her.

“Mhm.” She said proudly, taking a bite out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “But my mommy says I can’t repeat the names she calls you.”

Bucky suddenly felt embarrassed. Dickhead, motherfucker, bastard, asshole had a whole different meaning now that he knew the little girl thought they were synonymous to Bucky.

“Well then,” Bucky cleared his throat. “I should reintroduce myself. My name is James Buchanan Barnes but people usually call me Bucky.”

The little girl placed her tiny hand in his and shook it. “I’m not supposed to tell strangers my name so, you can call me Bee.”

Bucky nodded his head once, he almost didn’t notice the peanut butter she’d smeared on his hand. “Well Bee, does you mommy or daddy work here?”

Bee shrugs her shoulders. “Can’t tell you.”

He takes a deep breath in. “Can you tell me how you got here?”

“Nope.” She takes another bite of her sandwich.

“Can you tell me how long you’ve been here?”

“Nuh uh.”

Bucky runs a hand over his face. “Is this because of the doctor patient privilege?”

“Yep.” Bee smiles up at him and this time Bucky can’t help but smile back. A blooming feeling erupted in his chest.

Bucky looked down at his hand, trying to find his most surface level wound. Something that wouldn’t traumatize the girl who’s no more than seven years old.

“Dr. Bee, I need your help. Do you have anything for this cut?” Bucky points to the small cut on his knuckle. She didn’t have to know how it came to be, or who’s cheekbone had caused it.

“Thertainly Mr. Bucky.” Bee’s missing front teeth were responsible for her lisp. She jumped off of the chair and hurried behind the nurse’s station.

She swiftly wrapped his knuckles in gauze.

“Do you need me to look over your other arm?” Bee asked sincerely.

“I don’t think you can help with this one.” Bucky chuckled, knocking on the vibranium. “Unless you have anti rust spray.”

Bee threw her head back with laughter but the cute sound was cut short by a door slamming open.

His mind went blank the second he saw her. Bucky couldn’t peel his eyes off of her, even his jaw went slack. He tried to memorize every single detail of her. Her hair, her eyes, her body, the blue scrubs she wore.

“Bee!” She gasped, taking the little girl in her arms. “You almost gave me a heart attack, I told you to stay in the common room!”

“Don’t worry mommy!” She smiles up at the woman who’s taken Bucky’s mind hostage. “I’ve been with Bucky!”

The woman finally looks over at Bucky and he’s sure the world has stopped.

But reality comes crashing down when her eyes lose some of their light.

“Mr. Barnes.” She gasps, pulling Bee to stand behind her body. “I’m so terribly sorry about her, she wasn’t supposed to be here.”

Bucky gulps down the nervous feeling in his throat. He can’t help but feel like the biggest idiot in this universe.

All he’s done for the past few years is be cold, and rude, and now the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, who’s got the cutest most outspoken daughter in the tri state area, is apologizing.

His brain runs out of words and he just stands there.

Bucky keeps quiet as the woman sutures up the wound on his arm, he’d completely forgotten about it.

“Bee’s your daughter?” He manages to speak up after a few minutes.

The woman nods with a smile, keeping her eyes on his wound but Bucky begs the cosmos she looks up at him, even if it’s just for a second. He wouldn’t care if she messes up, if it means their eyes could meet.

Bucky’s kept himself away from feelings for years. He convinced himself he doesn’t need them. But in a quick thirty minutes, Bee and her amazingly beautiful mother have stirred up more emotions than he’s had in the last two decades.

“She-“ Bucky clears his throat. “She mentioned you’ve got a wide array of names for me.”

Her cheeks burned red. “Bee must be mistaken, she’s got a crazy imagination. Always coming up with the strangest things-“

Bucky bit his bottom lip. “I’m used to it.”

The woman gulped, finally looking up at him.

“I’m really sorry about the names.” She whispers.

“It’s okay, darling.” Bucky’s eyes travel from hers to her lips. “But for next time, ‘Bucky’ is just fine.”

She nods, looking back to his wound.

“And you are-“

“(Y/n).” She says.

Bucky’s sure he’s never heard someone with a name as beautiful as hers.

“You’re all patched up.” (Y/n) takes a step away from Bucky. “I’ll finish your report, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do.”

Bucky stumbles on his feet as he stands up. Embarrassed, he walks straight to the door but stops before leaving the medbay.

“(Y/n)?” He turns on his heel. “Would you please tell Dr. Bee I appreciated her help?”

The light in (Y/n)’s eyes returned as she nodded.

Bucky left the med bay feeling lighter than ever before and he couldn’t help but think a certain little bee had everything to do with it.

Comments and feedback is greatly appreciated!!

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kgficz · 3 months

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Don’t Give Me Up

Bucky Barnes x Reader, Platonic!Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: You were on the run from SHIELD. When Bucky and Sam find you, will they turn you over, or will they help you?

Word Count: 2.3k

The cold night air grazed the faint hairs on your skin; causing shivers through your body. “This is so stupid” you mumble to yourself as you move through the dark corridor. Running from SHIELD was certainly not on your to do list for the week and yet here you were; accused of murdering one of their agents.

Your feet were light on the ground; after you’d lost the agents coming after you, you figured you were in the clear but better safe than sorry. You continued to make your way through this abandoned warehouse, your eyes struggling to adjust to the light.

Soon you heard a shuffle behind you, causing you to holt to a stop. Your heart pounded in your chest as you kept your head facing forward.

“I’m not gonna hurt you” the voice said from a few feet behind. You turned around slowly, carefully.

Your eyes locked in on him as you turned; you cocked your head as you realised who it was. The Winter Soldier… well, ex- Winter Soldier from what you heard on TV.

His eyes focused in on you as you stepped back, looking around for a way out of this.

“I didn’t kill any agents” you said quickly, somewhat panicked.

“Yea I figured” he replied as he looked you over. “You don’t look like the murderous type” he added with a huff.

A deep breath escaped you as you sighed in relief, finally someone didn’t believe this crap.

“But” he said as he stepped forward, “you do know something”.

“I don’t” you answered quickly, keeping your hands out. You continued to back away until your shoulders hit the concrete wall behind you.

Within a few seconds, The Falcon was running around the corner; stepping beside Bucky. It was enough seeing one superhero, and now you had to deal with two? Great.

“Just come with us” Sam Wilson said, keeping his voice calm in an attempt to make you feel comfortable.

You realised then that to the left of you, there was an open space between piles of crates. Might as well take your chances.

You bolted.

Weaving through the wooden planks and out into the wide warehouse. It was huge with no place to hide. You headed for the door on the opposite side as Bucky and Sam went after you. It didn’t take long before a hand caught your arm; pulling you back.

The force came so quickly, you thought you might go flying. Bucky’s hands held your arms down as you struggled, attempting to pull yourself away from him.

“Take it easy” he said calmly, as though keeping you still was no effort to him whatsoever.

“Let go of me!” You yelled as you continued to push and kick at him. His metal arm wrapped around you, holding you still.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep that up, sweetheart” he exclaimed before you finally began to calm down. You had no chance against him, that much was clear.

“We’re not going to hand you over to SHIELD. Not yet” Sam said as he stepped in front of you. His eyes looked over to Bucky, gesturing for him to let you go.

Bucky’s arms dropped away slowly and you stepped away from him, with a scowl on your face. Bucky sighed as he stood where he was.

Your eyes looked back at Sam now as your mind raced. As far as you knew, these men worked for SHIELD.

“What do you want then?” You questioned before clenching your jaw in frustration.

“We want you to tell us what’s really going on” he answered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” you replied quietly.

“I think you do” he answered.

“You might not have killed an agent, but you know more than you’re leading on” he added as his eyes scanned your face.

You looked away now, taking in a few breaths; contemplating. You weren’t exactly a fan of these superhero guys; how could you really trust them not to turn you over?

Whilst you were too busy thinking to yourself, SHIELD agents burst in through the doors; their guns raised and aimed at you.

Your arms immediately rose, praying to god they would not fire. Sam and Bucky looked at each other, clearly shocked as the agents grabbed you. You were roughly hauled to the ground as handcuffs were placed on your wrists behind your back.

“Hey. Easy” Bucky said as he walked over with his hand out.

“You’re under arrest” the agent announced to you, ignoring Bucky’s words before he lifted you back to your feet.

Agents were swarming you, keeping Sam and Bucky out of your line of sight as they drew you away. You were screwed now.

It had been hours since you arrived here; sat in the middle of a small white room with your hands cuffed on the table in front of you. No one had spoken to you since you were thrown in here. Your head rested down against your arms whilst you focused on breathing slowly, staying calm. Should you ask for a lawyer? Does SHIELD even allow lawyers? You sighed… this was a mess.

Time continued to pass until the door swung open; causing your eyes to snap up.

“Shit” you mumbled to yourself once you recognised it was Sam and Bucky walking into the room. They sat down across from you, their eyes locked in on you.

You pulled yourself up in your seat, trying your best to remain brave despite the fact that you were losing your mind with each passing second.

“You ready to talk to us?” Sam said carefully.

You pursed your lips before speaking “So much for not handing me into SHIELD” you retorted causing Bucky to look down as he smirked to himself.

Your eyes shot daggers at him as your attention turned over to himself instead of Sam. “What’s so funny?” You questioned.

“Nothing” he replied, throwing his hands up. You sighed as you looked back over to Sam.

“Why don’t you just tell us your side of the story?” He asked with a gentle tone.

“My side?” You questioned. “My side is- I didn’t kill anyone” you answered firmly.

“Then tell us who did” Sam said causing you to stop, processing your thoughts.

“What makes you think I’d know something like that?” You asked, feeling your heart rate pick up.

Bucky looked over at Sam now as they exchanged looks.

“Why else would you run?” Sam returned .

Your jaw clenched as he spoke. You needed to keep your mouth shut. No one could know what you had seen. They’d kill you. Sam and Bucky noticed your refusal to speak.

“We can keep you safe” Sam said, almost as though he was reading your mind.

“I don’t need your help” you replied quickly as your eyes darted between the two of them.

Bucky leaned forward now, his hands on the table as his eyes locked with yours.

“Who are you really running from?” He questioned.

You avoided his eyes, gulping. Your hands now rested in your lap, you wished you could crawl inside yourself and disappear.

“No one” you replied quietly, trying to push away the flood of memories attempting to appear. Their screams echoed in your mind as you shook your head.

“Let us help you” he said, wishing you would trust his words.

“What are you two doing in here?” An agent yelled as he stormed into the room; his eyes locked on Sam and Bucky.

Bucky let out a sigh as Sam stood up, facing the agent. “We just needed to ask a few questions” he answered.

“On what authority?” The agent questioned.

Bucky’s eyes were on you as Sam went back and forth with the SHIELD agent. Soon the agent was kicking them out of the room. You didn’t spare them a glance as they left, hoping you would not have to speak to them again.

Hours passed when you were finally dragged into a cell; the concrete walls surrounding you. This place looked as though it was fit to hold the Hulk and yet here you were, deemed to be such a threat. You rolled your eyes at the thought.

You laid down on the flimsy mattress; you back feeling the metal bars beneath it. The darkness swallowed you whole as you thought you could hear your own heart pounding in your chest.

The small ceiling loomed over you, enclosing you in this small space. You figured at least this was the safest place you could be. It wasn’t long before you drifted off, the exhaustion taking over.

You woke to the sound of gunshots, causing you to shoot up. What the hell? You whispered to yourself as you stood up. Through the small glass panel in the door, you could see men running with weapons drawn. You immediately ducked down, hoping to stay out of sight.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you chanted as you moved back. This can’t be good.

As the gunfire continued, you saw blood splattered on the glass of the door. You felt your stomach drop.

The door flew open as men rushed in. These were no SHIELD agents. A man’s hand wrapped tightly around your bicep; hauling you to your feet. You winced in pain at his grip; trying to pull yourself away. As you were walking out; he shoved you against the doorframe, inflicting pain as you moved. You couldn’t help the groan the escaped you.

The men split up, two of them moving with you whilst the others went the other way. SHIELD agents came running around the corner, but were quickly taken down. The man holding you still managed to fire with insane accuracy.

You continued down the hall, reaching the corner when suddenly the two men with you were pulled away. You felt yourself fall to the ground; keeping your head low. Your hands covered your face as you heard the guns going off.

A gun landed on the ground in front of you, causing you to gasp before you were lifted from the ground.

“Come with me!” A voice said from behind you. You turned around quickly to see Bucky standing before you. This time instead of arguing, you nodded quickly.

Bucky’s hand quickly grabbed yours as he guided you through the hall; you realised soon that he was aiming to get out of the building.

He held you behind him as men came into the haul. You watched as he took each of them down easily, barely breaking a sweat.

“What the f-“ you began to say before he tugged at your hand, continuing to move until you reached a stairwell. He looked over the railing to check for more men before you began to run down the steps.

You realised your fitness could use some improvement as you reached the bottom; yours lungs felt as though they were going to collapse. Watching Bucky move so easily made you curse him in your head.

Bucky pulled you out of the building and continued running until he approached a motorbike in the underground car park.

“Get on!” He yelled as he jumped on, urging you to get on the back.

“Oh god-“ you muttered before climbing on behind him; your arms wrapping tightly around his waist.

Within seconds, he took off; hearing the yelp that came out of as he accelerated. He took off into the streets as the sound of gunshots finally began to fade off into the distance. He noticed at no point did your grip loosen. If he was a normal man, he thought you would have suffocated him by now.

After what felt like a lifetime; he pulled into another underground parking lot. He turned off the ignition when he came to a stop and noticed your grip was still tight.

“You’re okay now” he said as he looked over his shoulder. You felt yourself breathing quickly; the adrenaline rushing through your veins.

“I think- I’m going to have- a heart attack” you panted. You felt him chuckle under your hold.

You eventually loosened your grip before he stepped off the bike. His arm wrapped around you gently as he guided you off. He began walking towards another door and you followed close behind. Your eyes looked up at you walked in the door.

“More steps” you sighed, not noticing Bucky’s small smile as you walked up each level.

When you reached the top, he lead you to a loft and let you walk in first. Your eyes widened, this place was huge. Bucky’s eyes were on you as you looked around with your lips parted, taking it all in.

“Sam should be here soon” Bucky announced as he walked over to the kitchen bench. You moved over past the couch; looking out the large window which gave a wide view of the city below.

You nodded as he spoke, not entirely processing what he was saying. He eventually walked over to you, his gaze softening.

“So… you’re not turning me over to SHIELD?” You asked softly before glancing over at him.

Despite his height and muscular frame (and the fact that you’d seen him take down several men with relative ease), he felt non-threatening.

“No” he answered plainly.

Your eyes traced the features of his face; why did it take you so long to notice how handsome he was? You shook your head slightly at your thought. Pull yourself together.

“But I think it’s time you talk” he added before letting out a breath. His voice wasn’t as stern as before; but you could tell he was serious.

You bit the inside of your cheek as you debated the issue with yourself.

“I can’t” you answered anxiously, your eyes looking down at your fingers.

He took a step forward, only standing a few feet from you. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you” he said, matter-of-factly.

Your eyes shot up, staring into his.

“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt” you murmured before letting out a deep breath.

“Then let us help you” he replied.

Maybe you could trust him. Maybe you couldn’t. Right now, the best way to survive, is with him.

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes fic #sam wilson #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier fic #tfatws #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes

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im-no-jedi · 2 years

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y’all ever create an OC with a specific actor in mind? like you were inspired to create an OC because of a certain actor and you headcanon them as the face/voice claim for that OC. cause that’s happened to me a lot actually. all of the Misfits were that way. a few characters in MLWTBB are that way. and several of my DnD characters have come about that way as well. idk I just think it’s a fun way of creating an OC personally 😊

#the Misfits are the most obvious #cause several of them have the same name as the actor they were inspired by LOL #same with their Ghosts #and both Ember and Zai came about this way for sure #oh and Elon too!#and I recently came up with another character in MLWTBB this way #I've been DYING to make a Mandalorian OC for a while now #and I finally came up with an idea for one via this method #she probably won't show up for a while but I'm excited about her character #I'm trying to think if there are any other OCs that I've made this way...#oh! Alan did!#I picked out actors for Amanda and Lizzie after the fact #but Alan was created via the actor first method #I think he's the only other one like that LOL #and he was technically my first!!#gosh I haven't thought about those three in a while...#no that's not true; the Hawkeye show made me think of Amanda again #and Falcon & Winter Soldier made me think of Lizzie #thank you Disney+ for reminding me of old OCs again LOL #my poor abandoned children who sit in my head doing nothing ROFL #OMG sorry for the tag ramble sldkfjghioglfkdjs #my OCs

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 5 months

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Staring Down the Barrel of Your Gun

Bucky teaches you to shoot a gun when he realizes he won't always be there to protect you.

Warnings: all of my work is 18+ only, but language, references to gun usage and gun terminology, mentions of Bucky as the Winter Soldier, Bucky scaring the reader with his actions

A/N: This takes place during the events of the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, specifically at Sarah's house in Louisiana. Also I don't know much about guns, so take the terminology as a work of fiction for the sake of the story

"Buck, I'm starving. Can we please take a break?" You groaned, looking over to the porch, the door to Sarah's kitchen wide open so the scent of pancakes wafted through the open air. You had been up since sunrise with your boyfriend running gun handling drills under the cover of the trees behind the Wilson's house Your hands ached from palming the steel grip, your finger on and off the trigger at Bucky's command.

"Pay attention, doll. If you're in danger, you can't afford to lose focus. Now get in your stance." Bucky nodded at the target in front of you about 100 feet away, a blacked out silhouette that was tacked to a far tree, riddled with bullet holes from your previous shots. You wiped the sweat from your brow with the back of your hand. Even though it was barely April, the Louisiana humidity made it feel at least 20 degrees warmer, even in the early morning. You let the gun drop to your side as you shook out your sore arms.

"Never point your gun down to the ground like that." His sharp tone startled you into position. Bucky was barking orders and corrections at you, and it was starting to get on your nerves. You grumbled expletives at him, that his super hearing definitely picked up but chose to ignore for the sake of your training. You lifted your arms out in front of you, one hand layered on top of the other as you focused on your target. Stance, Lift, Target, Safety, Trigger. Bucky's words from your previous trainings echoed through your mind. He had drilled the commands into you with repetition.

"Your footings all wrong." You let out a sharp breath, holding your tongue from giving Bucky a piece of your mind as you removed your finger from the trigger. You felt his metal hand on your left hip, his leg forcing your left foot forward so you had a staggered stance. "Stand straight up and the recoil will knock you on your ass." He stood back, examining you like you were under a microscope. "Alright, go."

Again, you planted your footing, going through the motions in your mind.

Stance, Lift, Target, Safety, Trigger.

You felt a warm breeze hit your face, the wind whistling in your ears. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath, holding it as you slowly opened your eyes, focusing in on your target. Finally, you allowed the breath to leave your lungs. You were about to pull the trigger when Bucky stopped you again. "Wrong."

"What, now?", you gritted out between clenched teeth. His hands were on your body again, this time at your elbows, pulling your arms back a toward you. "You'll break your arms if you stand rigid", Bucky whispered, his tone gravelly, "you need to be strong, not stiff". His breath against your ear sent a shiver down your spine. Bucky's hands were no stranger to the contours of your body, and usually you welcomed his touch, but out here he was rough with you in a way you didn't like, forcing you into certain positions when he felt like you weren't following his instructions.

"Now, do it again. Right this time." For the third time, you positioned your feet, Stance, lifted your arms out in front of you, Lift, to the height of your target, Target, closed your eyes and took in a sharp breath as you removed the safety, Safety, and placed your hand on the trigger prepared to pull, Trigger.

Bucky watched you intently as you stood frozen, your chest heaving with each breath. Bucky had been training you for days, and your target was proof that you weren't shy with a gun, but for some reason you couldn't pull the trigger.

"Shoot." You couldn't hear Bucky as he tried to grab your attention, the ringing in your ears drowning out all other sound.

"Shoot the gun." He was shouting against the silence, his patience wearing thin. "Shoot the damn gun, doll."

You blinked and Bucky was standing in front of you, the barrel of the gun pressed against his forehead.

"Bucky, what are you doing?" Your question was just above a whisper. You tried to move, but couldn't, as if you had lost control of your body. "I said shoot the gun." His tone was even, as if he was telling you about his day. He had a vacant stare as he looked through you, and for a second you thought you saw a glimpse of the monster buried just beneath the surface.

"Buck, I'm not going to shoot you." Your voice was shaky, but he was unmoving.

"Shoot the gun, now." He grabbed at the gun with his vibranium limb, holding it to the middle of his forehead. You saw the steel barrel buckle under his grip. Bucky didn't see you as his girlfriend, the love of his life, but as a soldier. A soldier who was disobeying his direct order.

Tears were brimming your eyes, blurring your vision. You felt the heat creep up your neck as your hands went numb from holding your arms up for so long. You weren't sure how you got here, starting the morning training with Bucky, to suddenly being forced to make an impossible decision in front of the Winter Soldier.

"No, Bucky." You dropped your arms, feeling the weight of the gun as you put the safety back on, letting it fall to the ground. He took a step toward you to pick the gun up, and you backed away instinctively, cowering away from him. Bucky's gaze softened as he realized that you were terrified, your hands shaking. "Baby, I-".

"Food's ready, if you two love birds can take a break from your tactical training." You heard Sam's booming voice as he bounded down the stairs of the back porch, quickly reaching the two of you with his wide stride. His smile quickly dropped when he noticed your tears, Bucky's facial expression stoic. He sensed the tension between the two of you, clearing his throat. "Everything okay out here?"

You wiped a stray tear from your cheek, giving him a weak smile. "I've lost my appetite." You quickly turned away, jogging back to the house, falling just out of Bucky's reach as he called out to you. "Doll, wait." He moved to follow after you when Sam stopped him, a hand to his chest.

"What did you do?" Bucky shrugged him off, pushing past Sam.

"Why was she crying?" Sam continued to push, right on Bucky's heels. "Better crying than dead."

Sam stepped in front of Bucky, shoving him hard at the shoulders. Bucky barely stumbled back, but he got the message, stopping in his tracks. "What did you do?" Sam repeated himself, his anger evident.

Bucky collided with Sam, puffing out his chest. "She hesitated. You hesitate, you die. You think for a second too long, you die. I told her to shoot me, and she hesitated." He couldn't make eye contact with Sam, looking just past him toward the house. He needed to make sure you were okay.

"You asked her to shoot you? What are you, psychotic?" Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. Bucky had made so many strides to separate himself from the Soldat; the therapy, working to right his wrongs, and sometimes, the dark side of Bucky would seep out, and Sam wondered if it was all for naught.

"Maybe I am", Bucky edged out, finally looking Sam in the face.

"What are you doing, man?" Sam tried to appeal to Bucky's humanity, the side of him he knew was crazy about you. "You're gonna push her away if you keep doing this."

"Doing what? Trying to protect her? I'm not always going to be around, and-". Sam could see the life return to Bucky's eyes, a sadness washing over him.

"and what, Buck?" Sam continued to push.

"and I can't lose her." Bucky could usually push his feelings to the recesses of his mind, but he felt it all crumbling down around him, the weight crushing on his chest. "The gun drills, the tactical training, they're all so she can protect herself. I know I agreed to be a part of the Avengers, to give up my life to save others, but with all that we've lost, Sam, everyone we've lost, this world just continues to prove that it doesn't play fair. No matter what I do, how I try to protect her, none of it seems to matter. I can't and I will not lose her. So she cannot hesitate. She hesitates, she dies."

Sam sighed as he rested a hand on Bucky's shoulder. He knew that Bucky was right; being an Avenger meant nothing if they couldn't take care of the ones they loved. "Buck, I get it. I've got a sister and two nephews who are always on my mind. I hate the fact that we went from being on the top of the world, to realizing that no one gave a shit about us." He was standing on his convictions, trying to rescue his family's business and save his sister's house all at the same time.

"But there are enough monsters and villains in this world, she doesn't need you to be another one in her life. Fix this, Bucky. Don't lose her like this."

****

The house quieted as Bucky entered the kitchen. AJ and Cass whispered to each other as they pushed the last bites of their pancakes around their plate. Sarah watched Bucky out of the corner of her eye as he circled the room. "There's some food left over, probably cold by now" Sarah muttered as she sunk further into her seat at the dining table, taking a sip of her coffee.

Bucky chose to ignore their response to his spectacle, his focus on you. "Where's Y/N? I need to talk to her first."

Sarah nodded, rolling her eyes at Bucky. "Mhm, you sure do. She's upstairs."

Bucky took the stairs two at a time as he searched the house for you.

You had the parts of the Glock 19 Bucky had given you, organized out on the desk of the guest room you were staying in when Bucky found you down the hall. He stood at the doorway, watching as you cleaned every inch with a cloth, just as he had taught you. A small smile slipped on his face when he realized you had been paying attention.

"If you want me to shoot you, you'll have to wait", you called over your shoulder, not bothering to look at him. Bucky rubbed his jawline as he sat on the edge of the bed behind you.

"I know you don't agree with my methods of teaching-", Bucky started. "Your methods?", you scoffed, dropping the magazine on the desk, the metal clattering against the table. You turned to him, your anger brimming at the surface. "You're tryna justify that stunt you pulled as a teachable moment?" You felt your throat go dry at the memory of holding a gun to your boyfriend's head, momentarily holding his life in your hands.

"I need you to know how to protect yourself. There are people out there, terrible people, who would do anything to get to me, including hurting you." You turned back to the desk, gently placing your hands on your thighs. You closed your eyes again, taking a deep breath. "Doll, are you listening to me?" Bucky tried to grab your attention.

Choosing not to respond, you instead stood and grabbed the grip of your gun, briefly examining the piece before you made quick work of connecting each component to reassemble the gun, the metal clicking as each part connected. Bucky watched in awe as you moved with the precision that he had only seen from soldiers during his time in the military. You slipped the full magazine into the gun, slamming it in place before you pointed the assembled gun at the vintage dresser that Sarah had set up in the corner of the room, in perfect stance, your arms stretched out just enough to brace for the recoil.

"Is that trained enough for you, Sargent Barnes?" You smirked, your words dripping with sarcasm without an ounce of humor in your voice.

"Alright." Bucky snatched at the barrel, taking the gun from you, jogging you out of your trance. "You've made your point." He tucked the gun into the waistband of his jeans.

You dropped down onto the bed, looking up at Bucky, tears welling in your eyes again. He sat down next you, his arm brushing against yours. You felt him gently squeeze at your thigh, once again feeling the touch that you knew belonged to your Bucky, the Winter Soldier long gone.

"I knew what I was getting into, Buck. I knew who you were, what you had done, and all of the danger that came with being with you." You placed your hand atop his, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles. "and if that danger ever comes, you've prepared me to the best of your ability." Bucky cradled the side of your head in his hand, placing a kiss on your temple. You both sat in silence for a moment before you continued.

"But I could-, I would never be able to hold a gun to your head, let alone pull the trigger. If you think I ever could, you don't know me at all." You let out a shaky breath. "Buck, I was terrified. That wasn't you out there." Bucky's back straightened at your words. He retreated into himself, turning his gaze to the floor, trying to pull his hands into his lap, but you wouldn't let him. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at you. "Tell me the truth. Is the Winter Soldier gone for good?"

He wanted desperately to tell you yes, that the only part of him that remained was James Buchanan Barnes, the boy from Brooklyn, friend to Steve Rogers, the man you loved, someone who would never dare to hurt you, but that would be a lie.

"Yes, the Winter Soldier is gone, and he's never coming back."

You pulled Bucky in for a kiss by his chin, your lips barely grazing his before he had you in his grasp, his returning kiss passionate, as if he was apologizing in all the ways his words would fall short.

The Winter Soldier was still a part of him for now, but he'd do anything to protect you, even from himself.

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