#fall and winter are both faves

[doki-doki-imagines]

wc: 10k (next time I write this much shoot me down from the start) author note: wrote this to celebrate one year since I have been writing for bllk! Since my first post was about Sae I thought to celebrate with a fic about him. If you know me a bit, you know Sae is far from being one of my faves so I feel like a clown writing this much for him sob.

tw: none. 10k words of fluff more or less.

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You are sitting on an iron bench, wet from head to toe, with no way to protect yourself from the incessant rain. Your makeup is ruined and tears can’t be discerned from the droplets of rain running down your face.

You look desperate and there is no need to look at your face to understand that, you supporting your head with your hands is enough, crouched on yourself, sighs sound dulled by the downpour.

“You look pathetic.”  It’s a familiar voice, one that makes your skin crawl and now increases your heartbeat to dangerous levels. You look up and you see him, in all his cold beauty. He is wearing a brown boiled wool coat, underneath a turtleneck black sweater peaking out. He is looking down at you, like a high-class rich when he sees a snotty kid, the grey umbrella covers a bit his face, but those ice irises pierce your figure anyway.

“Sae-“ You whisper out your voice full of disbelief and shame.

But how did you find yourself in such a miserable situation? We have to go back a bit.

One year ago

You have never been a fan of parties, they can be a good way to unplug your brain for a bit before going back to normal life. But after a while you need a break, the music and sweaty bodies overwhelm your senses. Your friend Elisa stays back, a guy caught her attention but she asks where you’ll go, in case she won’t see you for long.

You go outside, the cold breeze of winter hits your naked skin making you shiver, but at least you can now breathe. There is nobody else outside other than you and a red hair sitting on the small brick wall on the opposite side of the entrance. You decide to sit there too, at a safe distance not wanting to bother him but close enough to start a chat in case you stay there a little longer than needed.

You look around a bit, breathing in and out while you notice the leaves moving and bushes filled with trash. It’s not a great sight and for sure straining your sight for that doesn’t seem a good idea, so your eyes fall on the stranger sitting next to you. He is now checking his phone, red strands framing his face. You notice his long lashes, it’s always guys that have the crazy luck to have doe lashes, the lower ones touching the apple of his cheeks. He looks young, but he has a mature aura around him, an idea that comes from both his posture and his clothes. The sky-blue shirt he is wearing must be crazy expensive-

“Can you stop looking at me?” You widen your eyes, now comically big.

“You mean-“ You point a finger towards yourself, but you can’t finish the phrase that the guy snaps back.

“Yes, you. Stop looking at me.” He finally faces you, his teal eyes staring at you as you’d do with a cockroach; the same amount of disgust.

He stands up now in front of you “You must be the friend of my physiotherapist, right?”

You nod. After all, it is thanks to her if tonight you are here, at a party full of famous football players and hot beyond imagination models…you must stick out like a sore thumb.

“I guess you recognized who I am. Please, stop. I don’t want to know you, I don’t have time for a relationship.”

Your mouth is wide open.

“I don’t know who you are-“

“Yeah, sure. I have to go now. Don’t follow me.” He doesn’t even wave back, he just gives you his back and walks away.

You have never felt so angry in your life, and you had to deal with a lot of assholes to reach this point in your life.

You stomp inside, searching for Elisa to ask what the fuck is wrong with people and you find there, the guy from before still next to her but there are also other guys and girls and him. The first reaction is to walk away, possibly closing yourself inside the bathroom until they finished chatting or, at least, that guy walked away, but luck isn’t on your side your friend already waving at you signaling to go sit with her.

There is just your friend's body between you and that guy, but this time it’s your eyes that throw daggers at him every time he just even breathes your way; he doesn’t seem to care and it angers you even more.

“Oh let me present you to Sae! He is the football guy I work for!” She said looking at you with a smile that goes from one ear to the other, alcohol playing crazy tricks in her mind not to notice your cracked mood. You extend your hand, trying to be a decent person and you see him sighing. Why punching idiots is not acceptable in modern society? Maybe because you probably wouldn’t be able to stop, after hitting that ugly mug the first time.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Sae.” Your smile is fake, but you think you do a good job of hiding your feelings. The handshake is short, but while you tighten the grip to show you aren’t a weakling, the red hair slips his hand away the second your palms touch.

“Call me Itoshi.”

“Mh? Is that your name?”

“No, it’s my surname. I don’t like strangers to call me by my name.” He replies, back now hitting the red sofa of the club, looking somewhere on the dancefloor, probably at the butt of some dancer.

You look straight into the eyes of your friend and something finally clicks in her mind because you see cold sweat forming on her forehead after the interaction you had with Sae. No, wait. Itoshi.

“Well, guys-“ She claps her hand “it’s time for us to go, thanks for having us.” She stands up and you follow while she finishes to say goodbye to her colleagues. “See you tomorrow, Sae. Don’t exaggerate with drinks!” It’s clearly a joke, her tongue pokes out and Sae smiles back at her.

He would be cute. If only he isn’t such a shit. Your heart almost jumped with joy when the corner of his lips turned upwards, but your brain, thankfully reminded your body how he treated you a few minutes ago.

The walk towards your friend’s car is silent, the people inside the club making enough noise. Your silence gets broken when you enter the vehicle, before your friend can turn the engine on she stares at you.

“I leave you alone a few minutes and you get in a catfight with my client, really?” There is no real anger in her voice, knowing her position isn’t in danger. So you explode at her, telling her chapter and verse of what happened between you two.

“Is he always such an asshole? I feel sorry for you, I hope he pays you enough.” Your friend’s head hits the headrest, and a loud bubbly laugh escapes her mouth.

“Is he worse? Fuck maybe you should change job-“

“No, no. It’s that I invited you tonight because I hoped you could get together in the future.” Her voice is often broken by laughter and finally, anger free, you remember that she probably has drunk too much.

“Let’s switch, you are drunk.”

“No, c’mon. Sae is usually nice! He is a bit cold, but I thought a partner, or just a friend-” and it’s not hard for you to imagine he has nobody to talk with, every time he opens his mouth it’s the same as having two fingers in your eyes “You are also single, so I thought it could work out!” She slaps your shoulder and keeps giggling and now you are sure that you need to be the one to drive you both home.

“Don’t ever leave your job, you suck at playing Cupid-“ You giggle too, finally switching places and driving you both home.

The drive is filled with useless chatter, your friend seemed really into that dude of before, Leonardo is his name? Tomorrow with a more lucid mind you’ll dig more into your friend's new crush.

And you hope you’ll soon forget about that asshole of teammate too.

8 months ago

 When you return home after an intense day of work, the bare minimum you request is complete relaxation. No parties, no worries, no discussions; it’s the perfect way to welcome the weekend.

What you don’t want is to get jumpscared before you can even step in, a certain teal-eyed dude the first thing your eyes see.

“Fuck!” You are tempted to close the door, maybe it’s all your imagination and when you reopen he, the Itoshi, won’t be there anymore. But you don’t live in a fantasy world, sadly, so you know you’ll have the accept your fate.

“What happened?” It’s your friend’s voice screaming from the kitchen.

“Nothing, I’ve just seen a cockroach.” You reply with a monotone voice, closing the door with your foot.

You look better at the intruder, sitting on your couch. One hand has the remote, zapping between the channels, the other lying on the top of the furniture, fist keeping up his head.

He turns to look at you “Did you see yourself in the mirror?” And the sudden urge to hit him with the house key pervades your body. You groan at his comment, but decide to drop the topic; you have no energy to get angry.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t tell you before but Sae is staying with us this week. His apartment is flooded and all his teammates couldn’t help him out.” She comes into the living room with a bowl of…freshly cut vegetables? You suppose it was your guest's request, as much as Elisa likes carrots there is no way this was a choice born from her brain.

Now you know why she didn’t tell you anything about it. You would have taken a hotel room and made Elisa pay for it if you knew what was going on. He, at least, thanks her and it surprises you because you thought he didn’t know what manner are. Or common courtesy.

“I’m going to change into something more comfortable.” You sigh, your mind already adjusted to the idea of having that dude in your house. ‘It won’t be forever. Calm down. Don’t shout, don’t get angry.’ You repeat to yourself while wearing the comfiest pj in your wardrobe; you need it.

When you go back into the living room the film was already chosen, but you don’t mind, so tired that you know you’ll fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow. The chat gets louder and definitely pick your interest.

“We both go to medical field universities! I finished my studies at home and as you know I work here, but-“ Elisa points her index finger at your figure, a fluffy cover hiding your body all crouched up on a side of the couch not to touch, or just get near, the guest “She is still studying to become a doctor! She will stay here one year and then she will need to go back home to finish her studies, right?”  You nod at your friend's words, now looking at the film.

“The film isn’t bad.” You whisper, humming in agreement.

“It was my choice.” A deeper voice replies back, it’s Sae.

You look at him until you meet his teal eyes. You see an equal amount of tiredness in his eyes and you seem to silently agree not to sassy reply back.

You are able to look at the film without falling asleep, at times you can feel Elisa asking stuff to Sae but you are too distant to understand what they say.  There is a pang of jealousy that stabs your heart, usually, you chat with Elisa while watching films and you don’t like the idea of being substituted by him.

You try to brush away the feeling. Maybe she is the one who has a crush on him, and even if you think she has questionable taste you won’t put yourself against their love. You yawn the second the end credits start to roll. You decide to go to bed, since you have no strength to add yourself to their pillow-talk, in the shared room you have to Elisa.

“I’ll come soon too.” She whispers while you nod, walking away; probably she wants a moment with her crush. You don’t even hear her opening the door, your brain voyaging dreamland the second your head hit the pillow.

You are the first to wake up in the morning, you step toward the kitchen trying not to wake up your roommate, and start to prepare coffee for the both of you. You are so used to making it that it becomes an automatism. It’s when the moka is on the fire that you start to look around, noticing a package that definitely wasn’t yours or of Elisa.

“That’s mine.” You hear croaking behind you, the sound makes you jump on your place.

“Yeah, it seemed pretty obvious. What is it? Some kind of tea?”

“Yes, it is salted kombucha tea. Want to try it?”

You snort and Sae looks at you questioningly, probably thinking his pronunciation is wrong.

“I hate tea. I’m team coffee.” You say pointing with your thumb to the moka, now gurgling a sign that your coffee is ready. Sae looks at you with disgust, a face you know pretty well by now.

“We are really different.”

“I was thinking that too.” You say now giving him the back to take the cups on the high shelf, a spoonful of sugar in your cup, nothing in Elisa's one.

Meanwhile, he has moved, opening the window of your kitchen. Summer is starting but the weather is still acceptable, morning breeze is a nice way to freshen the house.

“You want to make your own tea or I can do it for you? Do you trust me?” You say smirking, already knowing the answer.”

“I prefer to make it myself.”

You nod, a Chesire smirk plastered on your face. You point out where he can find the kettle, now sitting on the table, right next to the window, your head supported by your right hand.

He soon sits in front of you with his cup of tea, he looks outside for a moment, giving you the possibility to admire his features again.

He has a nice jaw, his skin is pretty smooth, probably he doesn’t have much beard, his upper lip is arched perfectly, his lips plump but not too big or better, they suit his face. His nose is slightly pointed upwards-

“You like to stare.”

Your head slid comically; you got caught, again.

“It happens when I look at beautiful stuff.” Really, the comment slips from your mouth before you can bite your tongue. But you feel him choking on his tea and it soothes the pain.

“You are also bold.” He looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, with such hatred in his eyes you almost worry to have done something way worse than throwing a compliment in his way.

“I just like to joke around.” You smile in your cup, a smile that grows wider when his eyebrows comically drop.

You hear him clicking his tongue, but you don’t say anything more.

You both finish your beverages, but Elisa is still sound asleep.

“Shouldn’t you wake her up?”

“Today is her free day, let her relax a bit.” You reply, putting his cup into the dishwasher.

You see uneasiness in his eyes, there is something he needs to tell you, so you make the first move as a good host.

“Is there something you need?”

“Usually I do yoga and meditate. Can you go out.” He formulated it as a request, but it sounded like an order in your ears.

“Can’t you do it in the living room? Or your bedroom?” You propose.

“My bedroom is too small. There are no windows in the living room and I’d prefer to breathe fresh air.”  You nod, his reasoning makes sense and there isn’t else you need to do in the kitchen.

“Can you teach me?” You propose half to piss him off, half because you suffer from terrible neck pain and you know yoga could help you out.

You notice how bad he takes it and you bask in the sensation of being finally able to take a rise of him.

“Don’t you have to go to university? Or I don’t know, student stuff?” He says it fast and makes you chuckle.

“It’s too early! I have all the time of the world now.” You get near him, trying to muster up the nicest puppy eyes ever done “I swear I’ll be a good student and won’t joke around.”

“No.”  Your nice façade drop.

“You are a real pain.”

“Look at yourself before saying that.” He looks at you with the same eyes as your encounter. The best choice is to leave him alone, and you do, but not without grumbling.

When you enter your bedroom Elisa is wide awake, already dressed for the day reading a book, a fantasy you guess knowing her taste.

“Mh? Elisa why are you here? You didn’t want to have breakfast with Mr. Sourpuss?” She clearly didn’t notice you entering the bedroom. She closes the book and smiles at your comment.

“I didn’t want to bother your bonding time.” She sing-sangs, book placed on the night table.

“Is this a way to force me to like your new boyfriend?”  Your eyes pierce her figure, muscles tense, trying to grasp any twitch or wince on her face. But nothing comes, if anything she replies to you with a pure laugh, not a fake one.

“I don’t see Sae that way, you dunce-“ Elisa stands up, hands now on your shoulders shaking you “I really think you can get along, please give him a chance.” She says exasperated.

“Tell him that, he is always an ass with me, and please-“ You say removing her hands from your shoulders “Stop playing Cupid, it’s really not your job.” You go towards your wardrobe ready to change for the day while Elisa keeps whining but no words get registered in your brain.

You don’t see anybody for lunch, so you spend a quiet afternoon at home, reviewing your notes and refreshing the lesson of the previous day.

Elisa is the first to come home, there is still light outside thanks to the longer summer days and she helps you out cooking dinner.

“We have to cook something healthy, you know-“ She winks “For our guest.”

Damn, for a second you forgot about him. “Shouldn’t he cook? So we are sure to prepare the right stuff.”

“I don’t know how to.” You hear from the living room, it’s his voice. You walk to the living room and you see him, freshly showered you guess from the soft soap smell coming from him and with two bags containing what you guess is food.

“I asked my private chef to cook for all of us.” He says placing the bag on the coffee table in the living room.

“Thanks, Sae!” Elisa says “Let me take these to the kitchen, I’ll prepare the table.”

“Do you need help?” Elisa brushes off your question “I know how to put a tablecloth and cutlery.”

To you, it sounded like an excuse to make you stay alone with the redhair.

“Thanks, Itoshi.” You hate how his surname rolled on your tongue, but you had to accept it.

He nods, removing his jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. You don’t miss to notice how at home he already feels; for sure he has good adaptation skills.

“So, how was your day?” You try to small chat, to break the unbearable silence it was already forming.

“Like always.” His answer is curt, but you can’t understand if it is because he doesn’t want to talk or just because it is him.

“And yours?” This surprises you.

“It was a good day. I was able to take a lot of good notes and the lesson was interesting.”

He nods at your words “I suppose it is hard.”

“Yes, but it is also really rewarding. For example-“ You start to blabber, and you notice it but you can’t stop, excitement guiding you even if you know your interlocutor has little to no interest in what you are saying. Embarrassing.

“Hey! It’s ready.” It’s Elisa that save you, stopping your blabbering. “What were you talking about?” She asks, curiosity evident.

You’d like to reply but you are too astonished by the food in front of you. Everything looked mouth-watering, you didn’t even know food could get such vivid colors, not to talk about the smell-

“She was telling me about her cardiac surgery lessons.” Sae replies for you, thankfully your eyes are already comically wide thanks to the food in front of you so nobody notices your surprise at his words.

So he was listening?

“Oh! I’m happy you are finally knowing each other, but now let’s eat! We don’t want the food to get cold.” You both nod at Elisa words and damn the food was as beautiful as it was delicious. There is not much chat, enjoying the meal in silence, just the background sound of the television to keep you company.

“Hey, you should accompany Sae to the aquarium one of these days.” Elisa says with a voice full of cheer. It doesn’t take much for you to understand where she took that idea, the advertisement of the aquarium still going on television.

“Well, it all depends on Sae, he has really strict hours-“

“Let’s go tomorrow. I have no training to do.” He says, no real force behind his words like he is just accepting his fate.

You gasp a bit “Oh, okay then. Is it fine in the afternoon?”

He nods, slurping down some of his cold noodles, you can only wish your technique will ever be as good as his, not a single drop of oil staining his shirt or mouth.

The dinner ends quietly, you place the crockery in the dishwasher and go directly into your bedroom.

The morning comes awfully quick and you feel even more tired than when you went to sleep. You proceed with your morning routine, not Elisa nor Sae insight so you take it easy. After you prepare yourself you go back to your books, your attention often grasped by anything going on.

Your attention gets caught one more time by a notification on your phone; it’s Eliza.

“Got a cute lunch date with a cutie. Try not to kill Sae and have a nice date <3” Ugh. She can be so pushy at times. You sigh and notice the hour, it’s time to eat.

When you enter the living room you notice Sae already made himself comfortable on the sofa.

“I didn’t hear you coming in.”

“I tried to be silent. I was doing yoga so I didn’t make much sound.” He replies, boredom dripping from his voice as usual. You nod “Are we blessed again by your chef's food today or I’m on my own?”

“The latter.”

“Oh! Can I make you piadina? It’s an easy dish to make.”

He turns around, teal eyes finally looking at you “What are the ingredients?”

“It’s easy! It’s more or less a circle of bread that gets folded this way and you can choose how to fill it.” You walk near him and show him the screen of your phone, the picture on it the perfect example of a perfect piadina.

“So…I can choose something different than fried potato, right?”

“Yes, you fill it with whatever you want. Simply sausage and fried potatoes with pepperoni is a classic match.” He looks at you with disgust, and at this point it makes you laugh.

“Not a fan? I swear the match is heavenly.”

“Aren’t you a doctor? You should know fried potatoes are toxic to the body.” This time you chuckle out loud.

“Fried potatoes are the last thing you should worry about between the ingredients I told you. And anyway-“ You sign to him to walk with you towards the kitchen “You won’t die eating it once in a while.”

“I don’t know anything about this stuff. I just go with what my manager and dietologist tell me.” He replies, pointing to the fridge with the ingredients he wants.

“No? For real?” You start to cook his one, the guest always comes first.

“Yeah, other than football I don’t know much else.” You notice a hint of sadness in his voice, irises darkening a bit and it tickles something in the back of your brain.

“Well, next time why don’t you help me cook? You may have a personal chef but it is nice to have different skills.”

He nods, he doesn’t burst with joy, but he seems serious. You give him his dish, arugula, and tomatoes. You do the same, half because you like the match and the other half because you don’t want to prepare other ingredients.

You eat in silence, something you already expected.

“Are you ready to go to the aquarium?” You ask, putting the dish in the dishwasher.

He nods giving you his one. Previously Sae asked you if you wanted to go by car “If you don’t trust me I can always call my driver” but you refused his offer, telling him that you’d bring him there gladly and with the perfect vehicle for such a sunny day.

“Good, get ready because my vehicle is amazing.” He bends his head a little, confused by your words, but doesn’t inquire more. He supposes it will be a surprise.

For sure it is a surprise, but not the good kind.

“It’s a bike.” His voice drips venom, but you brush it off.

“Not just a bike, it’s a graziella! Perfect to carry people on the back!” You say, slapping the bike rear-rack.

“It’s too low, it will be uncomfortable for my legs.” He retorts but you don’t desist, smiling back at him.

“In fact, you don’t have to sit, you have to stand up on it on completely trust my skills.” The face he makes is pure comedy, it’s a mixture of scared, anger and, as always, disgust. “C’mon mister Itoshi. I swear you can trust me, not even a bug will hit your precious legs, let alone the ground.” You hear him gulp and see the gears in his brain running, you wait a few seconds but the answer finally arrives.

“Okay, but if something happens to me you’ll pay with interest.” You nod and smile back sitting on the saddle. You soon feel the bike moving under you with the added weight. You start to pedal not wanting to lose balance and make you both fall on the ground and his hands immediately find support on your shoulder, gripping tight on them.

“Let’s go!” You shout, the bike is harder to manage but you push forward. The ride is silent, the summer breeze dancing around you two, only gasps can be heard from the guy standing on the back when you take a hole making both the bike and Sae jump. His hands aren’t as tight on you anymore, probably he is trying to trust you as best as he can, it’s pleasing to think he is starting to trust you, the feeling runs to your head becoming a pink fog that makes you feel dangerously well and uncaring. You are sure you would look like a postcard if someone took a photo right now, you feel so peaceful that it’s hard to imagine you look bad right now.

Dangerous because you almost don’t notice that you arrived at the aquarium, pulling harshly on the brakes almost making your guest jump off the bike if it wasn’t for his hands harpooning your shoulders.

“Sorry-“ You say in between your teeth, wincing at your mistake. You hear him scoff but he decides to not salt in the wound.

“Put the bike there, I’ll pay for the tickets.”

“Are you sure? I can pay for my own-“ He doesn’t even listen to you, walking to the ticket office without looking back at you once.

The visit was actually really fun, for you at least, Sae never expressed any kind of emotions, the corners of his lips a line that never twitched upwards or downwards. You see teals eyes looking around, but it seems nothing catches his attention. At least he stops when you ask, not a groan of disapproval, not a happy smile either.

“I like penguins.”  You say looking at the glass separating you from the cute bird wobbly on its feet. A gasp of surprise escapes your mouth when one of them dives into the salty water to stop exactly in front of you. You pull at the end of Sae’s shirt, the excitement going straight to your head, too busy being ‘a finger apart’ than ruining your guest's clothes. You shout in happiness but the sound is drowned by the squalls of kids around you.

“I can see.” Finally, a hint of a smile appears on his face, but you are now too busy looking back at the penguins to notice it. Meanwhile, Sae is too busy looking at the features of your face, looking for once at you, not looking down on you. The blue and soft lights of the aquarium make you look like a dream, the joy in your eyes matching your smile.

Something moves inside him, it’s pleasant but it fades in a snap of a finger when you face him again, prompting him to walk towards the next glass. You talk about colorful jellyfish or something like that. It’s not that he is interested in anything there. After all, he accepted Elisa’s offer not to sound too rude even for his standard. But he thinks, that moment of happiness on your face was in part worth the deal.

Not that you’ll notice head entirely elsewhere.

“It was nice. Thanks for paying.” You are now outside, bike on hand while you walk near the seashore. The wind is stronger there, and more than once you shrink in your place, while the guy next to you is perfect, as always. A porcelain doll crafted by the most expert hands ‘too bad they didn’t lose another minute to work on his personality, tho’ you think.

“No problem. Can we stay here a minute longer?” Sae asks, but he is already still, as always it was an order, not a question. You nod, the sun is setting, painting the sea warm colors, waves are big but reduced to nothing when they arrive so near your feet. You see him breathing in, eyes closing to enjoy the moment.

“Do you like the sea, Itoshi?”

“Yes. I used to always visit the beach with my brother.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you have a sibling! Is he hot?” You chuckle, blossoming in full laughter after he sides eye you, annoyance mixing with the green of his eyes.

“He isn’t your type.” He clicks his tongue “You like handsome guys and he is not.” His voice is flat, as usual.

“Handsome guys? Yeah, I like them, obviously but why do you have this idea of me?”

“Simple-“ a smile, a real one, grace his features “You like me.” You gasp at his world, pushing his shoulder, but his body barely move.

“Mister Itoshi, your ego is way too big!” You puff out your cheeks, but there is no real anger in your words.

“Sae.”

“Mh?” The silence lasts very little but it feels like an eternity.

“Call me Sae.” His teal eyes link with yours. His voice is low, serious and makes your knees wobble a little. He looks happy, the sun painting beautiful shades on his fair skin. It’s honestly a breathtaking sight.

“Okay, Sae. Your ego is still too big!” You break the tension, too heavy all of a sudden. Too intense for two strangers who couldn’t even suffer each other.

Just too much.

The spell is broken and you see him wince, ‘probably he didn’t want to sound so intense’ you think telling him to go back home. The ride is silent, when midway it’s Sae who decides to talk.

“Why are people looking at us weird?”

“Maybe because you are a football superstar?”

“No, the look when people recognize me is different.”  You hum, but you come up with another motivation quick.

“Maybe because you are the one being carried! Usually is the guy that carries around the woman.” You state, no malice in your words. He is silent for a few seconds.

“Let’s switch.”

“You don’t have to worry, I don’t care about this-“

“I said stop pedaling and switch places with me.”

“Stop ordering me around! Plus if you have never done that there is no way you can keep me-“

“If you don’t switch I’ll jump off the bike, I’ll hurt myself and do you remember what you promised me this afternoon?” You feel more of his weight on your shoulders like he wants to remind you of his upper position, just figurately now “I’ll make you you pay, remember?” It’s the same voice he used on you the first time you met and it made you reflexly pull the brakes, this time slower so he could jump off without any risk.

He sits on your place and clicks his head, as a sign for you to stand on the back.

“But if you hurt me? What do I gain?” Your voice is wobbly, not trusting him at all. Your hands grip tightly on his shoulders and you are sure there will be a red sign there tomorrow.

“I’ll kiss it better. Now shut up.” He starts pedaling, not checking you once. For sure you didn’t like his answer but jumping off now sounded like a good way to sprain your ankle.

“Do you know at least the road to go home!?” He takes a hole and makes you jump, you suppose it’s the karma for how you drove before

“…okay. Talk just to tell me where to go.”

You arrived home, safe and sound. You don’t kiss the ground just because you don’t want to act overdramatic, but feeling the ground under your feet with no wounds on your legs seems a real miracle. Elisa welcomes you both with a big smile, her eyes are tired but you notice a drop of happiness in her eyes so you do not worry. The week goes by naturally. You and Sae don’t banter as often, but calling what you have a friendship would be a stretch, Elisa still tries to push you into something more, but her attempts are failures, if not disasters most of the time. Thankfully Sae doesn’t dig further, not that he cares since he is so sure you have a mind-numbingly, heart-shattering crush on him anyway.

The real surprise comes when he goes back home, everyone is back to their normal life ‘till one day receives a message from an unknown number. It’s not a text, but a picture of you two, of when you were going to the aquarium since you were the one pedaling. There are ginormous texts on the sides probably it has been published by one of those gossip magazines you tend to avoid.

“Who are you?” You text back, and an answer will not be long in coming.

“Sae. Elisa gave me your number.”  You smile thinking how happy she probably was when Sae asked for it. She was probably giggling like a schoolgirl.

“Why did you contact me? It’s a problem if we were seen together?”

“No” A dry texter, exactly what you expected.

“Then let me say; we really looked beautiful.” You write it with a heart bursting in happiness. You both looked happy, your faces radiating joy. You may not be an earth-shattering beauty but nobody would have been able to sincerely say you looked bad.

“We did.”

You are happy to know he feels the same.

5 months ago

You are at a beach party. Honestly, you would rather be somewhere else but after closing yourself for two months at home to pass your exams you need a bit of fresh air. Summer is now leaving its place to autumn, the days are still long, but at least the temperature is acceptable. Stars are shining high in the sky and everyone seems to enjoy the party. You wear a cute dress, ‘the one for good occasions’ you repeat to yourself. It’s not tight, the skirt is large enough that you can easily move around, but it hugs your waist before getting larger again on the chest area-

“Hey-“ Elisa elbows you “Sae is sitting on the couch all alone, why don’t you keep him company.” She laughs but this time it isn’t for the alcohol; she is just dumber because she could get with her crush, Leonardo. Actually, he was the one to set the party all teammates and their partners invited. You actually came thanks to Elisa's invite, but you would be lying if you said that it didn’t matter seeing Sae.

Something more keen to a friendship developed between you two during these months, the messages you exchanged a clear sign. What surprised you the most was that he also was the one to start conversations, asking if you were fine, checking if everything was okay. You had no other occasion to meet in person, between matches and studies you both had your hands full, so you don’t mind actually catching up with him.

“Hey sourpuss, it has been a while!” You plop down on the couch next to him. He widens his eyes in surprise, looking like a scared kitten, before returning to the bored expression, not even greeting you.

“Not even a hello? Bad night for our Casanova?” You chuckle as he clicks his tongue knowing full well you are teasing him.

“You know I’m not interested in a romantic relationship.” He is bored out of his mind and you decide to tease him some more…maybe you drunk too much.

“Well, it seems to me you are liking that girl over there. Your eyes are glued to her-“ You can’t finish the phrase, his index finger pressing against your lips.

“I never thought you were one for physical contact.”

“Never know you liked to drink this much either.” He takes the drink from your hand and takes a sip from it. “It actually tastes good.”

“I know it, you big bully! I just wanted to cheer you up and I get treated this way.” You whine. The redhead looks at you for a minute too long, pondering what to do, when his hand decides to find the crown of your head, patting you.

“Shh baby, everything is fine.” It’s a smile full of mirth and it reminds you that he is really handsome, in case your memory fails you. You must look like a pathetic cat in front of him, all pouty and a bit stupid thanks to alcohol.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you.” You whisper out, but for sure he could hear it, getting closer to you. This time you don’t see any mirth in his eyes, back to his usual seriousness so you decide to be direct with your feelings. “I missed you. That week living together made me really change my opinion of you.” This time you don’t whisper and you see Sae getting taken back by your words, batting his long lashes at your words. You can’t hold his gaze so you fix yourself on the fire in front of you, made to perfectly set the beach party atmosphere.

“Then we should meet more often.” You look back at him, but this time it’s Sae looking elsewhere, not at a specific person on the dancefloor, simply looking in front of him. “Taken with moderation it’s nice talking with you.” It’s his usual sarcasm and you feel melting, like he just removed a heavy weight you didn’t even know to carry.

“Okay, let’s promise!” You hold your pinky out and it makes Sae raise his eyebrow.

“I appreciate you wanting to integrate my culture, but we stop doing that after elementary sch-“

“Shhh, don’t break the magic! Just do it!” He sighs before rolling his eyes but at the end, he gives up intertwining your pinkies together.

“From now on we promise to see each other more often, like good friends!” The words roll from your mouth carelessly, even if you are serious about it. You feel Sae tightening your grip on your pinkie at the ‘good friends’ part but you don’t give it much importance.

“Are you next week?”

“Yes, I am now that exams ended! Do you have something in mind?” You ask a bit too excited.

“My manager told me to participate in a cooking video or something along those lines. He said it would be good for my image and they pay a lot, but-“

“You hate not being prepared, right?” You interrupt “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you a mouth-watering recipe!” And you compliment yourself for being really smooth when your hand, linked to his just by your pinkie, perfectly slides to hold it, palm to palm but not bold enough to intertwine fingers. Sae doesn’t jerk away from your touch if anything holding your hand tighter before nodding at your words. He holds your gaze and just then you notice how close his face is to yours, how there is just a whiff separating your lips…

“It’s time for the toasts! Everyone come!!” The shout of one of Sae's teammates awakes you both from the moment separating you two as quickly as you got near to each other. You don’t talk much to each other the rest of the night and you decide not to overthink what just happened, you probably drank too much and he probably was too tired to tell you to step back. For sure beach liked to play tricks on you.

Obviously, not overthinking was easier said than done, even with a pounding headache your mind started to wander and it only got worse when Sae texted his free day, to which you replied with a thumbs up. You aren’t worried about the recipe to make him cook, you have done it countless times and your mother sent you the right ingredients not so long ago. You are worried because maybe you are harboring feelings for him and you’d hate to tell him he was right all along. You can already see his smile, going from one ear to the other; you can accept being rejected, but not being made fun of.

Thankfully Lady Luck is on your side the day you finally meet up, but in a wicked way, making the chain of your bike drop something you had never to deal with. So when you hear the bell ringing your mind goes in tilt not being able to choose if panicking for your bike or for the guy in front of your door.

“Hi Sae.” You whisper out, leaning on your door.

“You are dirty.”

“Is this some new kind of dirty talking-“ He pushes you to the side, entering the house.

“So what happened? You look like a flea that just swam in petroleum.” 

“You are always so delicate Sae.” You slump your shoulders before explaining what happened “I tried to watch a video to fix it myself but it was no use.”

“I can help, where is the bike?” You look up, hope shining in your eyes.

“Oh the garage is the first left door at the end of the corridor, but are you sure-“  Sae already walked away, the squeak of the garage door telling you he got the right door.

When you reach him he is already on his knees, fingers deftly working to put the greasy chain in its place.

 “Done.” He flips the bike as easily as you’d flip a pancake, not even a sneer of fatigue appears. “Anything else?” You are shocked by how fast he fixed it.

“Aren’t you the one that doesn’t know anything other than football?”

“Yeah, but I had a childhood too. My little brother always messed it up. Do you have anything to wash the grease off?” You nod wanting the clean yourself up too.

“Now that we are all cleaned up, let’s cook! Today I want to teach you how to make tortellini, a type of stuffed pasta, have you ever heard of it?” The red hair waves his head left and right, you see curiosity in his eyes and it makes something bubble in you. “I have already done the filling, it’s easy to make later I’ll tell you the ingredients, but now let’s focus on the dough. As you can see I did a little fountain with the flour and we will have to put the yolks and the eggs white inside, like this-“ You show it to him, his teal eyes still fixed on your movements “Now grab a fork and start to mix, not everything together, just a bit and then always more until you can start to knead with your hands.” This is the worst part, the dough is hard and you need a lot of strength to mix it to perfection. “Wanna give me a hand?” You gasp already tired. He nods, but you didn’t expect him to help in this way.

His right hand locks with yours, the other already at the bottom of the dough, and his chest is impossibly close to your back. You feel his chin on top of your shoulder, his breath hitting your neck.

It’s intimate, too intimate for your standards.

“H-Hey thanks but you don’t need to hug the chef to do it, you know?” You chuckle awkwardly, trying to move your head far from his, but his body caging you doesn’t let you move far.

“Mh? Sorry I thought it could work better. Feeling how your fingers work on the dough and everything.” It sounds like a poor excuse even for your ears, but you brush it off his arms not blocking you anymore; probably he just needed affection or something like that.

You move to the side, watching him knead, but your eyes soon travel up, to his face noticing a new detail…

“You have freckles?”

“I get them when I tan, I hate them.” The corner of his plush lips turn downwards, his hands working harsher on the dough.

“Why? They make you more human.”

“What are you saying? That I’m a cyborg?” He stops, green irises gazing straight into yours.

“I’m saying that looking ‘imperfect’ makes you more beautiful Sae.” You say it as a universal truth, your voice doesn’t waver, and your eyes don’t either. This time it’s he who has to break the eye contact, you see him biting his inner cheek.

“So now?” He points at the dough.

“Now we have to roll it out. We should use a rolling pin, but it is too much of a pain so we’ll use another device-”

“No, let me do the old way. I’m not a weakling like you.” His voice drips of malice and the urge to knock his head with the rolling pin is harder than ever.

“Okay then, use it. I’m curious to see how you’ll handle it.” Sae takes it from your hand and tries to use it. The shape wouldn’t even be bad if it wasn’t so poorly distributed, some places thin others awfully thick, plus you can see he isn’t using the right muscles, making him more sore than he should be.

“You are terrible, can’t you see it all has different thickness? Move let me show you how to do it.” You push him away, no real force In your movement but he moves away, giving you the rolling pin with a provocative demeanor. “We say you have to make love with the dough, use your hips like this and you won’t have to use all your arm strength. Now do it.” You give the utensil back, Sae nods eyes filled with concentration.

Too bad he keeps making the same mistake. You click your tongue “Sae, do I have to teach you how to make love?” You snicker when he sides-eye you.

“Okay  mister icicle, let me show you again how to do that.” Your hands lay on his hips but you look at his face to understand if you crossed any boundary, but he doesn’t say anything, to say the truth he doesn’t even look at you, so you take it as consent. “Instead of using just your arm strength, help yourself with a push of the hips like this-“ You move it synched with his hands twice, before letting go of the hold you have on him. “Yeah, that’s exactly how you should do it!” You notice Sae smiling, it lasts very little but it is there and you feel really proud of his work.

Then you teach him how much filling is needed inside and how to close them up.

“I can’t do it, my fingers are too chubby, see?” The half-made tortellino’s dough tears in his hands that are, in fact, a bit too chubby to deftly close it.

“Hey, don’t trash it away! You can’t fix it but you can always have…an early taste.” You reply, winking at him.

“But won’t it be dangerous? The filling is cooked, but the pasta-“

“I swear you won’t die superstar, I’ve done it countless times and I’m as healthy as you are.” You say smacking his shoulder, but by the look, the redhair isn’t fully convinced. “C’mon try it!” You spur him like a granny urging her nephew to eat her home-cooked meal.

The shine in Sae’s eyes after the bit of food hit his tastebuds is a telltale sign that you really nailed the recipe. Not that you had any doubt to start with.

 You finish closing them up and invite him for dinner telling him that Elisa is out so she won’t mind. Sae refuses your offer, his manager needs to see him so they’ll dine together.

“Well at least bring back home a bag of these!”

“Won’t you die of starvation?”

“Don’t act stupid, I won’t give you them all, I’m not that nice!” You prepare two servings “In case you want to share a meal with a special guest.” He replies with a huff, but you don’t care, knowing well how he can be.

“See you soon Sae.”

“If that raw pasta will kill me my lawyer will bang at your door.” He replies already out and walking towards the driver he called before.

“Don’t be overdramatic, it doesn’t suit you, ice man.” He smiles back at you behind the window of his car but you can’t see him since it is tinted.

From that day you don’t hear him until the famous cooking video he told you about appear on your screen. Obviously, they made him cook something way easier, too bad he had a blindfold on and his teammate had to tell him what to do.

“I hope your teamwork works better on the football field.” You text him, a winking emoji at the end.

His answer doesn’t long in coming “Worry more about your exams.” It hurts you more than being run over by a car.

3 months before

“Sae can you pick me up?”

“Did something happen?”

“Nothing that bad, but could you?”

“Send me your position, I’m coming.”

“Thanks” You sniff.

You are not used to crying, or better, you are not used anymore. Years of university thickened your skin enough to be able to deal with most wounds.

Most, not all.

You studied hard for this exam, it was one of the few ones you had to do to finally get your degree, one step closer to reaching your dream. But you failed it, and now you’ll have to wait months before being able to take it again. You didn’t meet with anybody, barely talked with Elisa, and you share a bedroom with her, skipped meals to be sure not to lose time, and repeated the paragraphs till your voice gave out.

All of this for a fist of nothing.

You cried and gasped the moment you were far enough from the classroom. Weakness isn’t accepted and pity is a sign you won’t survive long in this world; this is what you’ve been taught. You forgot how shit you could feel while crying, how lonely you are. You wanted to call your parents, they have always been good at reassuring you, but then Sae's name was the first contact to appear and you clicked without thinking twice.

Maybe harsh love is what you need.

You regret your choice the second you hear the first thrill. He must be training, maybe he is in the sweet company of someone, you can already hear his ice-cold voice snapping at you for bothering him. But you don’t have the time to close the call, Sae picked it up and was coming to help.

You recognize the car, it was the same one that picked him up when he went back home from his house, but this time he is the one driving.

“Come in.”

You sit on the soft leather. While you waited for him you tried to dry up your tears to improve your current condition, but to no avail; eyes still red and puffy and some tears still escaping.

“Are you bri-bringing me home?” You brokenly say between gasps.

“No. What happened?” Sae’s eyes stay fixed on the road, raindrops fall on the windshield, ironic how the weather matches your mood.

He snaps his fingers in front of you, bringing you back to earth so you start to tell him what happened.

“I know I must sound so-so dumb but-“ Gasps keep interrupting you “I feel like a failure. Maybe I am.” You look at him, your vision is foggy due to the new tears, but this time he looks back at you. You didn’t even notice he stopped the car, now off the road.

But what it comes to surprise you. No harsh words, no sarcasm.

Sae hugs you, hands patting your back.

“Everyone fails, even cyborg guys like me. Everything can be fixed and a little misstep on the road doesn’t define you as a person.” He pulls away, face relaxed, and goes back to driving.

“One hamburger and a chips portion.”

Were you parked in a fast-food lot? You were so out of your mind and outside is so dark that you didn’t notice. You have been silent, still recovering from the hug and those words that sounded so encouraging and not like Sae at all.

“Why the chips? You don’t like them.” It’s the first thing you are able to blabber, at least you didn’t stutter anymore.

“This isn’t for me. It’s for you.” The redhair says putting the paper bag on your legs “Junk food can be nice once in a while. And stop crying-“ the back of his curled index finger swipes away a lone tear running down your face “I hate looking at ugly stuff and tears reduce you to a really ugly mess.” 

Ah, the old Sae is back. You can finally recognize him, with all his rude comments. But something inside you blossoms while he drives you back home and you bite into your hamburger.

Does it mean he finds you beautiful every other time? You feel blood running to your face for a minute you hear a whistle in your ears, but you impose yourself not to bash your head around it. Now you have to find a nice way to explain the situation to Elisa without making her worried sick and hide who brang you home to avoid her dumb smile and endless teasing that would come your way. You look outside the car window, mind already wandering somewhere else.

In the end, Elisa discovered everything, for sure Sae insisting on bringing you inside crumbled to pieces your plan, and your mood was too devasted to be able to efficiently hide your feelings. At least your attention wasn’t on the football star anymore.

Your mind already planned to think about them for the next weeks anyway.

Today. Night

“I suppose the date didn’t go as planned.” Sae doesn’t move, no intention of shielding your body under the umbrella.

“No, but it was my fault.” ‘Because I’m in love with you’ you add in your brain. “You want to know what happened?”

“Not really.”

“Bad for you because I’ll tell you anyway.” You joke between gasps. Sae doesn’t move away but he keeps looking down on you. “He was so nice, he took me to the restaurant and even wanted to pay. The small talk was incredible and we have a lot in common-“ You look down, not able to keep his gaze “But my heart is for someone who considers me barely a friend-“ Your hands now cover your face “And then when I arrived here to cry in peace a couple walked in front of me being all cute and I crumbled.”

“It could have been us.”

“Umh?” You can finally gaze back into his eyes, liquid fury while looking down at you.

“Who is the guy you have a crush for? The loser-“

“It’s you. You are the loser.” Your brain still struggles to phantom what is happening. You were freezing cold a few minutes ago, you couldn’t feel the apex of your fingers, but now you don’t feel anything.

But something inside Sae’s mind clicked before yours, the umbrella waving left and right, the grip on it clearly loosened.

“You are an imbecile.” His words are sharp knives on your body, but you can’t grasp in pain because something is pressing on your lips.

Sae is kissing you, his cold hands gripping you by the collar of your dress to keep you close, raindrops fall down from his cheeks to yours, the umbrella is left abandoned in a bush, the wind tearing it apart.

��For how long?” He pulls you up from the bench, his right hand gripping yours while the left one is on your back.

“The exam fail.” You whisper almost in a trance “And you?”

“Let’s go home-“ He starts to run out from the park, calling for a cab to bring you both to, you suppose, your house. You notice him looking around, probably searching for a place to shield your bodies from the rain; not that you have much to protect anymore both wet from head to toe.

“It has been longer...Sae! That’s why you have always teased me.” You finally laugh shivers of cold and joy running down your back.  “Sae!” You shout stopping in your tracks. Sae turns back but doesn’t have time to snap at you, this time it’s you kissing him. Your hands go to caress his cheeks, one hand sliding a bit back to scratch the back of his neck. You probably nailed the right point, because you hear him moan into your mouth. His hands slide lower caressing your waist to your hips, but never brave enough to go to your backside.

Or better, when you feel him sliding closer…

“Mister Itoshi, come in the car!” his driver came to pick you up, using the horn two times to announce his presence.

Sae looks at him, gnashing his teeth before looking back at you, his expression getting softer again. “Let’s go” he kisses you in between your eyebrows before pulling you towards his car.

“Okay, but you’ll have to tell me when you fell in love with me.” You feel the hold on your hands tightening, no need to look at his face to understand what’s going on in his head.

Maybe he’ll kiss you dumb to make you forget about that. Maybe he’ll be brave enough to propose showering together…your mind starts to daydream, maybe he won’t have the courage and you’ll have to take the reins, but one thing is sure.

You’ll both be happy.

#bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #bllk imagines #blue lock imagines #itoshi sae #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #bllk x you #blue lock x you

[beyondthesefourwalls]

Something Worth Remembering

Summary: You were hopeful that you’d be moved into your new house before Christmas, but after another renovation delay, that’s not in the cards. To your credit, you make the most of the situation, and Bradley falls in love with you even more because of it. But he’s determined to make your first Christmas together special, and sets out to plan a surprise that ensures the holiday will be one both of you will always remember. 

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader (no use of y/n)  

(can be read as Forgetful Boy and Pumpkin from RYEWID, but not necessary to read that first)

Word Count: 3.7K 

Warnings: Warm fuzzy Hallmark feelings. Language. Allusions to smut. 

Notes: Some holiday action for my faves. Written for @bellaireland1981's Winter RomCom Challenge with the prompt "home for the holidays”. Also as part of The Forgotten Moments Collection, but can very much be read by itself. 

—---

____

Bradley stopped short when he walked through the front door, eyes widening as he took in the scene in front of him. 

“Um…Pumpkin?” 

“You’re home!” 

You popped up so suddenly from the other side of the counter in the kitchen that he jumped slightly in surprise. “Am I?” he asked slowly, closing the door behind him and bending down to unlace and take off his boots. You laughed brightly as you stepped around some of the shopping bags on the floor to get to him. He accepted the kiss from you eagerly, feeling the stress from another work day dissipate as he wrapped his arms around you. 

“Contractors called,” you told him once you pulled back, resting a hand on his chest. Your ring sparkled in the light streaming in through the open curtains, and Bradley couldn’t help but smile before he registered the words. “There’s a delay with the electrician and the flooring.” 

Bradley groaned, the familiar annoyance of hearing the word “delay” coursing through him. The home the two of you had purchased was a fixer upper, tucked into the end of a cul de sac in a neighborhood not too far from base. There was work that needed to be done to make it everything you wanted, but neither of you had anticipated all the headaches that would come along with that. It would be a long project, you knew, but the contractor you had hired had promised it would at least be livable within the first few weeks. 

That had been nearly two months ago now, and the delays kept piling up. Barely anything had been done at this point, and he knew he’d have to call the administrative office tomorrow to extend the lease on the on-base apartment, again. 

“Of course there is.” 

You smiled gently, and Bradley couldn’t help but let some of the annoyance slip away at the soft look on your face. He took a deep breath and let himself relax, pressing a kiss to your forehead before releasing you. He gestured to the tiny apartment the Navy had provided you with, smaller than the shoebox you had called home back in DC, that definitely did not look like what it did when he left for work this morning. 

“Is that why it suddenly looks like Christmas threw up in here?” 

You threw your head back as you giggled. The sound caused a full blown smile to cross Bradley’s face, warming him from the inside out.

“I was holding out hope that we would be able to spend Christmas in our new house, even if it’s not finished. But since the electrician’s are delayed, the floor people can’t come until the 28th. So I decided to finally cave and decorate here instead. But I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on nice decorations, because I want to save that for when we’re completely moved in next year.” 

“So…” 

“So I may or may not have bought out a good portion of the Dollar Tree Christmas aisle, and spent way too long deciding on white lights or multicolored lights for the $20 table top tree that I bought.” 

Bradley laughed loudly, looking around your temporary home once again. Red and green and gold covered the minimal available surfaces, and a small lopsided tree sat on the corner table in the living room, a bag of what he assumed to be decorations sitting beside it. Your cat, Florry, was curled up on top of a pile of bright green garland on the floor. 

"Who needs a fancy new house when we can have our own little tacky winter wonderland right here?"

Your eyes sparkled with delight as you spoke, clearly thrilled by the idea, or at least incredibly amused by it. Bradley knew that Christmas was your favorite holiday, and how much you loved the festive season. This would be the first one you ever spent together. When you had toured the house months ago, you had pointed out the perfect place for a tree and where certain decorations could go. You had been so excited to spend the holiday in your new home. As the delays started coming in you had adjusted just how grandiose your plans would be, but you had taken it in stride. Now you were only six days out from Christmas itself and you were once again just making the best of the situation that neither of you could control. 

Not for the first time, he wondered how he had gotten so lucky. 

"Alright, Pumpkin," he said, "Let me go change, and then I’ll help you make this the tackiest, most magical Christmas ever."

You grinned at him, a mischievous spark in your eyes. "Challenge accepted."

_____

The Dagger Squad had an impromptu and unofficial holiday party the next night at the Hard Deck, and it still blew Bradley away seeing you intermixed so perfectly with his friends, both old and new. You floated from conversation to conversation and when he wasn’t by your side, he watched you with a smile on his face. He knew you were perfect for him, but seeing you fitting in like this just reaffirmed it. 

“How’s the house coming along?” 

He looked over at Mav as he leant against the bar beside him, handing him a fresh beer. He was still getting used to being around his godfather after all this time, but they had settled into a peaceful kind of hesitancy as they relearned what it meant to be in the other’s life, and it was nice, even if Bradley had to remind himself to breathe sometimes. 

“Slowly.” 

His tone must have relayed how he was feeling because Mav shot him a sympathetic wince. “Another delay?” 

“Yup.” Bradley let out a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. “They can’t get the electricians in until tomorrow, which is when the flooring was supposed to go in. So now that got pushed to after Christmas” 

Mav clasped a hand on Bradley's shoulder, offering a supportive squeeze. "It'll all come together eventually. How’s she taking it?” 

He snorted as he brought the drink to his lips, taking another sip. “She handles stress and shit like this better than anyone I know.” 

Mav smiled, nodding in what looked like approval. “You got yourself a good one.” 

Bradley hummed his agreement and let his eyes stray to you, chuckling softly when he saw you dancing with Nat. Sometime in the last few minutes, you had stolen the Santa hat that Coyote had arrived with, the red and white material perched on your head. You twirled around with his best friend to the Christmas song playing over the jukebox, laughing merrily. You really did love this time of year. 

You had told him that you didn’t care where you spent the holiday, so long as you were together. It was your first Christmas together, after all. But Bradley still felt guilty over not being able to get you into the house sooner. You had only been married for a few months, and you had given up your whole entire life to move out to California when he got permanently assigned here. It’s a decision you would make again and again, he knew, but he still wished there was something he could do, too. You had made far more sacrifices than he had. He wanted this holiday to be special. Memorable. 

You were just a little bit tipsy when you got back to the apartment that night. You had clung to Bradley’s arm with both of yours the whole way up to the third floor from the parking lot, but the moment you walk through the door, you’re releasing him to go plug in the tiny table top tree. You plug in the string lights lining the kitchen counters next, humming a christmas song he can’t quite place under your breath as you do. You turned to him once the space was illuminated, the soft golden glow highlighting your smile. 

“Pretty nice, huh? These cheap decorations aren’t so bad - I may just keep them for the new house, too.” 

Your ability to make the most of everything made his heart stutter. He was in front of you in only three quick strides, one hand landing on your hip while the other cupped your face. He bent to connect your lips in a kiss. He could still taste the peppermint from the candy cane you sucked on on the ride home, and the taste of the champagne Penny had broken out at the end of the night for a toast. You didn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around him and return the kiss, both of you getting so lost in it that by the time he pulled away, he was panting.

“You must really like the cheap decor,” you breathed, and Bradley huffed out a laugh at your joke. 

“I just really like you,” he quipped, and he enjoyed how a shiver went through your body at his response. 

As you changed into pajamas and settled on the couch together, an idea started forming in his head. He thought he might know just what to do to make this holiday memorable for you after all. 

_____

“Are you sure you don’t mind me running out for a bit?” you asked for what was probably the tenth time as you slid your sweater on over your head. Bradley groaned to himself as your body was covered from his view as he lounged in bed. He had been watching you get ready, enjoying not for the first time how getting dressed was almost always the last step in your process. 

“I’m positive,” he said, also for the tenth time. You gave him a dubious look and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Pumpkin, I promise it’s okay.” 

“I know, but it’s our first Christmas Eve together!” 

Bradley moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his arms open. You stepped between his spread legs and let your hands rest on his shoulders as he looked up at you, squeezing your sides through your red sweater. “Technically, it’s Christmas Eve morning. And I think you getting brunch with Nat and Coyote’s wife will be nice for you. You’ve been so busy with work and the move that you haven’t really had time to make friends.” 

“I was already friends with Nat.” 

He rolled his eyes at you fondly. “You know what I mean.” 

You sighed again, fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head in the way that always calmed him down, even when he wasn’t feeling stressed out. He thought maybe the motion soothed you, too. “I think it’ll be fun.” 

“Yeah,” you admitted slowly, nodding hesitantly. “I do too.” 

“Then go. Have fun. I’ll be here when you get back, and we’ll spend Christmas Eve together. The morning doesn’t count.” 

You snorted, but nodded nonetheless. He accepted the kiss you gave him right as your phone started ringing from the bedside table. Nat was there to pick you up, just like he had requested her to when he asked for her help with pulling off this surprise by getting you out of the apartment for a few hours today. 

He gave it ten minutes after you had left before he jumped up and started taking down all of the decorations you had strewn throughout the apartment. It was easy work considering how small the place was, only taking him a few trips to and from the Bronco. He grabbed the small tree last, carrying it delicately so that none of the ornaments fell off and wouldn’t have to be reconstructed. 

It didn’t take too long to get to the house at the end of the cul de sac that was now in both of your names, traffic light despite the holiday. He let himself in with the key that was still shiny with how new it was. He let out a sigh of relief when he flipped the switch and the overhead light in the living room actually turned on - with everything that had gone on, he wouldn’t have been all that surprised if it hadn’t. He made quick work of bringing in everything from the car, including the items that he had purchased and kept in the trunk without you seeing them this week. 

He knew he had limited time, as Nat could only commit to a few hours of keeping you distracted, but it would be more than enough with what he needed to do. His phone buzzed right as he was finishing up a little more than an hour later, your name flashing up at him.

Pumpkin🧡: Getting the check! Back soon❤️

He sent back a response telling you he’d see you soon, quickly finishing up. He locked the door behind him and jogged to the Bronco parked in the driveway, and he was only back at the apartment for less than 10 minutes when you walked in the door with a large smile on your face that quickly morphed into horrified confusion.  

“What happened to our decorations?”

“Hey, Pumpkin. How was brunch?” 

“Were we robbed?”

Bradley barked out a laugh, shaking his head at your wide eyes. “Of our dollar tree Christmas decorations?”

You just gestured wildly around the space, devoid of any hint of the holiday cheer that had existed in its space earlier in the day. He laughed again, closing the distance to where you stood at the still open front door. He reached around you to push it closed before pulling you into him. He kissed your forehead, your nose, and then finally your lips, pursued in an adorable pout. “We weren’t robbed,” he assured you. “But I do have a present for you. Go get changed.” 

“What?” 

He squeezed your hips, smiling warmly. “Trust me?” 

You eyed him closely for a moment before your pout eventually settled into a soft grin, and you let out a long sigh before you nodded. “Always.” 

He kissed you again, a little deeper this time, but pulled away before he could get totally lost in it. “Pajamas are on the bed.”

“Pajamas? It’s 2pm!” 

He only chuckled in response, playfully smacking your butt when you started walking back toward the bedroom. “Trust me.” 

You got even more suspicious when you emerged from the bedroom and saw that he had Florry in her carrier at the door and had changed into his own pajamas. He twirled his keys around his fingers and then held open the door for you. Once you were in the Bronco, cat meowing at your feet, he held out a red silk piece of cloth that made your eyebrows shoot up. 

“Seriously? A blindfold?”

“Think of it like a Christmas adventure. Now let me put it on.”

You huffed a breath but he knew you weren't actually mad - you loved surprises, and there was a smile tugging at your lips as you turned to allow him to tie the silk at the back of your head. He kissed your hair when he was done and turned to start the vehicle. 

“You know,” you said casually, just as Bradley was pulling out of the parking lot, “this blindfold might come in handy later. We should make sure the headboard we pick out has appropriate accommodations.” 

He groaned at the implication, a flush creeping up his neck on instinct. You giggled happily, knowing the effect you had on him. He rested a hand on your thigh as he drove, yours covering his in a familiar move. The feeling of your ring on his skin was one he had grown to love in the last few months since you’ve gotten married. 

You threw out guesses the entire drive over, each one more extravagant and ludicrous than the one before. By the time he pulled into the driveway that one day will be an everyday occurrence, he was grinning so hard that his cheeks were starting to hurt. 

“Don’t move,” he said when he saw you reach for the door handle. He jogged around the Bronco to the passenger side, opening your door. He helped you down before reaching back in for Florry’s carrier, pressing it into your hands so you could carry her, while he focused on you. 

"Alright, Pumpkin," he whispered, his voice laced with eagerness. "Keep your blindfold on, and I'll guide you." His hand tightened around yours as he led you out of the car and towards the front door of your new home. Excitement coursed through him as he thought about your reaction, and he loved that he knew instinctively that it would be positive. 

He loved that he knew you so well. 

“Stay here just a second,” he instructed once he got you through the door. He moved away from you to quickly plug everything in, coming back to you once the room was cast both in the sunlight streaming through the windows and the artificial LED lights. 

He stood in front of you, a grin playing on his lips as he watched you fidget with anticipation. Your blindfold was still securely in place, blocking your vision from the surprise he had prepared. You were so damn beautiful, and he would never understand how he got lucky enough to call himself yours. 

"Okay, baby," he said softly.  He gently took the carrier out of your hands, setting it on the floor and letting the cat out to wander the new space that he had cleared of anything that might hurt her, before moving to stand behind you. Your back flush against his front, he moved his hands up your arms in a smooth caress, settling on your shoulders and squeezing in affection. "You can take off the blindfold now."

With trembling hands, you reached up and slipped the silk cloth from your eyes, revealing the scene before you. Gasping in awe, your eyes widened as you took in the sight that unfolded in the living room. 

“Oh my God. Bradley.” 

The room was still very much a construction zone, but he had moved all of the decorations from the apartment, plus a few more that he had gotten, to decorate the barren space. The tree you had bought sat on the floor in the corner. Blankets lined the unfinished floors, as well as humongous cotton puffs to replicate snow. An air mattress covered with bright red sheets and a green blanket was in the middle of the room. Everything looked straight out of a tacky high school Christmas play, but it was so bad that it was almost good - whimsical and unique.

He watched as you took it all in, feeling his heart beating double time in his chest. When you turned to face him, there was a wide smile on your face, and tears shining in your pretty eyes. You didn’t have to ask for him to know what you were thinking. 

“I wanted our first Christmas together to be in our home, even if it’s not finished yet. I figured we could camp out for the day. You-” The words were knocked out of him as you launched yourself into his arms. He held you for a long moment, pressing a kiss into your hair as your laughter settled. “You deserve something special, Pumpkin,” he finally finished, voice softer than it had been. 

You pulled back just far enough to meet his eyes, your hands cupping his face. “All I need is you, baby. You know that?” 

He turned his head just slightly to press a kiss into your palm, nodding once. “I do.” A smirk twitched at his lips, his mustache twitching with the expression. “Does that mean you want me to pack all this up and return your gifts, too?” 

The gasp you let out was damn near scandalized. "Oh, no you don't!" you playfully swatted at his chest. You motioned toward the tacky decorations with a mischievous grin. "We can't let these go to waste. It's our first Christmas, after all."

Bradley chuckled, arms secure around you.  "It sure is," he whispered, his voice filled with affection. He leaned down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss, the taste of anticipation lingering. 

“Besides,” you murmured quietly, your eyes sparkling with a familiar look that had him warming from the inside out. “This gives us a jump start on christening the place. That air mattress looks mighty comfortable.” 

Desire flared through him, and he wasted no time in scooping you up in his arms, carrying you bridal-style towards the makeshift bed. Your laughter echoed in the space as he laid you down. 

“You know I’m gonna make you pack all of this back up and put it back up in the apartment until at least New Years, right?” you asked him, slightly breathless as he moved his kisses from your lips down to your neck, nipping at the skin. 

Bradley chuckled, his hands pushing your shirt up, revealing soft skin that he loved to touch. “Oh, of that I have no doubt.” 

Later, you lay nestled together underneath the green blanket, the crackling sound of a virtual fireplace playing from his laptop on the floor beside you while Christmas music played lightly from your phone. You were basking in the glow of the makeshift display as your breathing calmed. You pressed a kiss to his chest, right over his beating heart. He was sure that it skipped a beat at the gesture, but if you noticed, you didn’t comment on it. 

“I can’t wait until we’re in here for good,” you whispered instead. 

He hummed in response, tracing lazy patterns on your bare back. “Me too.” 

You snorted after another moment, propping your head up to meet his eyes. “Hell of a first memory to make here, don’t you think?” 

Bradley laughed lightly, a contented smile spreading across his face. It certainly was, in all of the best ways. “I’ll remember this forever,” he said, voice filled with warmth and conviction, because he couldn’t fathom ever forgetting any moment with you, especially something as perfect as this. 

--------------

Main Masterlist :: The Forgotten Moments Masterlist

Notes: It's been far too long since I wrote anything for these two. I hope you enjoyed it! Likes/comments/reblogs are always appreciated if you did🧡

Thanks to @roosterforme and @mak-32 for all their help!

Tag List: @roosterforme @mak-32 @wildxwidow @gretagerwigsmuse @lilyevanswhore @too-fangirl-to-fuction @fav-fanficssss @notroosterbradshaw @teacupsandtopgun @sometimesanalice @sunflowersteves @littlezee80 @je-suis-prest-rachel @khaylin27 @infamous-reindeer @yanna-banana @avengersfan25 @wkndwlff @sylviebell @lt-spork @indynerdgirl

@mssleepy876b @kassieesworld @mizzzpink @a-serene-place-to-be @sexualparkour @sadpetalsstuff @almostgenerallyalways @alilstressyandlotdepressy @ccbb2222 @taytaylala12 @shelbycillian @mavrellover91 @vici111 @lunamooncole @blackwidownat2814 @pisupsala @bellaireland1981 @jynxmirage

@greatszu @na-ta-sh-aa @callsign-magnolia @chaoticassidy @thedroneranger @cherrycola27

#alli writes #bradley bradshaw: forgetful boy #the forgotten moments #winterromcomchallenge #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x oc #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw #rooster imagine #rooster x reader #rooster bradshaw #tgm fanfiction #tgm #rooster x you #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster x reader #bradley rooster x y/n #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x you

[breelandwalker]

Cold Moon - December 26, 2023

Bundle up, witches! It's time for the Cold Moon!

Cold Moon

The Cold Moon is the name given to the full moon which occurs in the month of December, particularly appropriate this year as the full moon will occur late in the month, smack in the middle of the bleak midwinter.

This will be another month when the moon appears full for two nights in a row, so we'll have a full moon for Christmastime, with peak illumination on Dec 26th at 7:33pm EST. (A perfect aesthetic for those who are fans of the classic poem "A Visit From St Nicholas" aka "Twas the Night Before Christmas." Personally, I'm holding out hope that we'll have the snowy conditions to match, though it's a long shot.)

Like most full moon names, the Cold Moon takes its' moniker from an English translation of a traditional name used by one or more North American indigenous groups. There are a number of indigenous names that reference the wintry conditions when this moon occurs, including Snow Moon (Haida, Cherokee), Winter Moon (Tunica-Biloxi), Hoar Frost Moon (Cree), and Long Night Moon (Mohican). More evocative names include Frost Exploding Trees Moon (Cree) and Moon of the Popping Trees (Oglala), both of which refer to a phenomenon which occurs during extreme cold, when the sap inside a tree freezes and the expanding pressure causes portions of the bark or even entire limbs to "pop" with loud cracking sounds that can be heard for miles.

Other names for the December moon include Yule Moon (Norse origins), Oak Moon (Celtic origins), and Bitter Moon (Chinese origins).

What Does It Mean For Witches?

The year is winding down. It's time to wrap up our projects and put aside what we haven't finished or no longer need. Rather than berating ourselves for the things we didn't finish or didn't accomplish, this is a time to give ourselves some grace and celebrate our successes and triumphs and the things we DID accomplish.

With only one page left on the calendar, many of us are already looking ahead to the new year, making plans and setting goals. This is a good time to brainstorm and engage in a bit of broad-view planning. Sketch out the things you'd like to see or do or try in the new year. Give voice to your dreams and start thinking of ways to make them happen.

The Cold Moon also falls soon after the winter solstice this year (Dec 21), which could be a boon for anyone looking to time their seasonal rituals in optimal fashion. A working could be begun on the solstice and built up to culminate on the night of the Cold Moon, just before the start of a new calendar year.

What Witchy Things Can We Do?

Have a small supper gathering with friends or family (holiday themed or not, it's up to you) to share joys and fellowship and enjoy good food and drink. Make wishes together for the new year. (Wish jars can be done individually or as an informal group ritual. Sharing wishes anonymously can be a fun party game.) A "White Elephant" gift exchange with inexpensive or homemade witchy goods for your circle could be fun too!

Make a wish jar for the new year on the winter solstice and put it out to charge under the Cold Moon. Cleanse any of your tools or crystals or accoutrements that you use moonlight for one more time this year.

This is the perfect time for divinations and goalsetting for the coming year. Pull out your favorite divination tools and your 2024 planner and sketch out the coming year. You can also try candle wax divination with holiday candles, if that's something that interests you.

Also, save those seasonal bayberry candles for future use! They're great for debt repayment and money-drawing spells.

If you need some ideas for a fun family activity, you can feed the birds for good luck, either with scattered birdseed or pinecone birdfeeders. String dried fruit slices, cinnamon sticks, pinecones, holly leaves and berries, and other seasonal faves to make garlands. Stick apples or oranges or clementines full of cloves in pretty patterns to make pomanders.

Use those fibre arts skills to create a special piece to keep your home warm and safe and well-supplied until spring. It doesn't have to be anything big - a simple weaving or single square will do. Crochet or cut out snowflakes for your home decor. If you want to get fancy, pick up a ball of cotton warp thread and look for old doily patterns - they look great as hoop weavings hung on the wall (or make a witch web in winter colors).

Make one more batch of moonwater to carry you through to the new year. If it happens to snow or freeze where you live, you can save clean snow or icicles for special (non-drinkable) elemental water, which can be a fun base for moonwater as well.

And speaking of elements, make sure to remember in all your seasonal decorating that fire safety is paramount. Be careful with your candles, warmers, light strings, plugs, extension cords, and cables. DO NOT "daisy chain" your extension cords or power strips. Never leave candles or wax warmers or simmer pots unattended, and turn off your holiday lights before bedtime. Safety first, witches!

Thanks for joining me for this exploration of full moon magic. See you next year!

Happy Cold Moon, witches! 🌕🧊

Further Reading:

Additional Lunar Calendar posts

Moon Rise Calculator - The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Cold Moon: Full Moon in December 2023, The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Full Moon December 2023: Illuminating the Cold Moon's Spiritual Meaning, The Peculiar Brunette.

How Do Trees Survive The Winter?, National Forest Foundation.

How to Make Pomander Balls, The Old Farmer's Almanac.

Fun Kid's Activity: Winter Pinecone Bird Feeder, Audubon Southwest.

Everyday Moon Magic: Spells & Rituals for Abundant Living, Dorothy Morrison, Llewellyn Publications, 2004.

(If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop. 😊)

#witchcraft #witchblr #full moon #cold moon #lunar magic #pagan #winter solstice #lunar calendar

[urfavnegronerd]

1610 and reader cuddle session hcs 😄

here we gooooo

an absolute whore fiend for affection and physical touch

likes when you do that thing w/ your nails to massage his scalp

tries to talk to you/ start conversation while ur cuddling

cannot hold said conversation b/c he gets sleepy in ur arms

both miles' are like cats, but 1610 miles is a middle aged cat whos either really energetic or super sluggish whereas 42 is an old and tired bodega cat

in the least suggestive way you absolute horny fucks he is a minor stop being weird absolutely adores skin-skin contact

like he feels like he has to get closer to you

your body weight just flush against him?

10/10, no notes

forehead + nose kisses are absolutely a given

if you get acrylic nails he loves it when you rake them across the nape of his neck

also loves when ur thumb does that lil strokey thing on his hair

100% buys yall matching bonnets/durags

his fave way to cuddle is when his head is on ur chest and he's lying between ur legs stop. don't be weird.

b/c of all his spiderman stuff he's sore most of the time, specifically in his back/traps/shoulders (hello mans literally swings himself using his upper body weight) so when yall r laid up like that you give his upper back lil massages n shit

however

if ur an athlete he def babies u after practice when yall cuddle

like the whole nine

mans is a sweetheart and draws u like a bath or sum (i think 1610 and 42 would both do this tbh) and sits on the edge of the tub/toilet and just talks to you

or gives u a cute lil shoulder massage

if u get ur braids/hair/retwist and your scalp is literally screaming he'll let you lay on top of him with your head on his chest

if u fall asleep w/o ur bonnet/durag/headscarf on he puts it on for you

or sacrifices his hair and puts his on you

back to the original req chile anyway--

like i said he loves skin to skin contact

like mans is fully a baby

also he's a furnace literally 95% of the time, so during the winter u press up against his chest

almost always ends up asleep with his face on ur stomach (either ur bare stomach or his head is literally under ur shirt. if u have a lil (or a lot, honestly mans does not care about ur body type. also side note of me just being queer but when women have that lil pudge/pocket/bulge thing and wear tight skirts/dresses. WHEW. same thing w/ masc women omg teddy bear mascs are adorable. but i also love me some muscles anywho back to the req) pudge, muffin top, hip dip, whatever, he adores it. like fully massages those lil bits of u when ur cuddling. however if ur more muscly/ toned in ur stomach area he loves that too, esp tracing the muscle lines, like ur obliques or abs if you have them)

like i said he gets rly tired in ur presence cs you make him feel safe so when ur cuddling he gets all mumbly and his movements are all thick and syrupy and he gets to be a lil drowsy baby

yall ever seen those tiktoks w/ couples cooking and one of them is on their partners back? yeah, that's yall

"miles i have homework" *muffled in your stomach/neck w his arms wrapped around you* nuh uh "fuck you mean nuh uh?"\

its such a struggle to end cuddle sessions w him, literally the both of u want to stay tangled up like that together forever

when ur over his house and rio and jeff are home the two of you literally just fall asleep on the couch while cuddling

yall are that couple that sleeps and cuddles together all the time

u know that text chain that's like 'after class can i take a nap in your bed' "yeah" 'with you?' "duh" 'omg im so excited'

thats yall

rio and jeff literally had to bribe you to go on dates that weren't sleeping on the couch while watching movies

after the events of atsv he literally just wants to cuddle

i hope this what ur looking for anon!

xoxo,

rae <3

#black people #urfavnegronerd #across the spiderverse #fanfiction #into the spiderverse #rae's friends 🩷 #rae talks #headcanon #miles morales #1610 #miles morales 1610 #earth 1610 #1610 miles x reader #spiderman 1610 #161022 #miles x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales x reader #miles morales fluff #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #earth 1610 miles morales #miles 1610 #atsv miles #itsv #spiderman itsv #itsv 2 #spiderverse itsv #spider verse #across the spider verse #spiderman into the spiderverse

[magpizza]

Mag's Sapphic Book Recs

Hey! @fairymascot sent a few of you my way who are looking for some sapphic book recs! I have compiled a list of 50 or so books, both Adult and YA, across the genres I read. These are just my personal favorites, and I encourage you to look further into any book that piques your interest!

For where I go for books, I go to my local library a lot and can't sing the praises of the Libby app enough for borrowing ebooks and audiobooks. I also always encourage those who can to get their books from independent bookstores or sites like bookshop.org.

ADULT

I wanna feel sad or stressed out! -Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily R. Austin - Gilda is anxious, depressed, and jobless, so she accepts a receptionist job at a catholic church and becomes obsessed with what happened to the woman who had the job before her. A book I felt really deeply as an anxious person myself. -All The Little Moments by G. Benson - Anna's career-focused world is turned upside down when her brother and sister-in-law pass away and she is left to take care of their two young children. This one is a real tearjerker and the romance with the woman Anna meets is very very sweet. I've read almost all of G. Benson's books and found them all to be absolute winners (Purposefully Accidental is excellent, also deals with grief though is more lighthearted and has some of the best dialogue I've ever read). -Landing by Emma Donohue - This is such a lovely, meaty book that explores the complexities of people, as well as the challenges a burgeoning relationship can go through. The MCs face distance, age difference, culture differences, different life goals, etc. The characters around them were also surprisingly deep and interesting. It had me on the edge of my seat as to how it would resolve. -I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself by Marisa Crane - this one is a bit sci fi, but I felt the sad outweighed the sci fi classification. A future world where you are marked by your crimes by being given an extra shadow, a woman has to navigate single motherhood with her daughter having been given an extra shadow from birth. It was somber, it was lovely, I felt so much weight in my heart. -Whisper of Solace by Milena McKay - If you like terrible women doing terrible things to each other in the name of their careers but also obsession and love, this one is for you! One of the most unique Ice Queen POVs I have read!

Okay, I'm sad enough, now I want a happy romance! -Wherever Is Your Heart by Anita Kelly - Even as a lover of romance myself, few books have made me swoon like this one. Two older butch women finding love much later in life and being realistic about their issues and problems, I just absolutely adored the grounded conversations they had. Also a very quick read! -Breaking Character by Lee Winter - This is one of the most enjoyable, fun, heartfelt romances. It's Hollywood, it's fake dating, it's age gap. Both characters go on such a lovely journey together. This is one I would highly encourage you to listen to the audiobook as Angela Dawe is amazing at doing all the character voices and accents. Additionally, there is not a single Lee Winter book I haven't liked, so highly recommend any of hers (The Awkward Truth is my second fave of hers, with a unique and younger ice queen). -The Carlisle Series by Roslyn Sinclair - You honestly can't have a sapphic romance list without this series. It's adapted and updated from Roslyn's Devil Wears Prada fanfic, but this is a story all its own and had me tearing up at the ending. I did the exercise of reading both the books and the fanfic which was very fun to compare! -Something's Different by Quinn Ivins - This is one of the sweetest books, I smiled all the way reading it. A woman has to step in to cover for her twin sister at her job while her sister goes off with her boyfriend, and she ends up falling for her sister's boss. It was a lovely book that also touched on mental health. I also love an academic setting, and it made statistics fun to learn about! -Bright Falls Series by Ashley Herring Blake - This 3 book series is so fun, just true romcom goodness. The characters are fun and interesting, they have complex relationships with each other, and I love how the author sets up these little ways the characters think is truth or reality, only to find how differently they perceived things.

Give me some scary ones! -The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling - cave spelunking in a tricked up space suit, being chased by ghosts, and not sure if you can trust the woman on the radio who's guiding you through it. Has just such a satisfying ending too. -The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean - a vampire-adjacent book, it's a world where these beings eat books, but then sometimes one amongst them instead eats minds. A woman, book eater herself, runs away from her family to protect her son who is a mind eater. I felt this one was gutwrenching at times, with characters making tough and sometimes bad decisions, and it kept a grip on me the whole way. -Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant - this one is more of an ensemble cast as it jumps around to several POVs, but the sapphic romance pair in it is great. It follows a crew aboard a ship to figure out what happened to a previous ship where everyone just disappeared. Every character has a rich internal life of why they're there, what are their goals, etc. -Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield - a woman's wife went on a deep sea expedition and returns not quite the same. The book jumps between the two women, what happened on that expedition and what her wife is having to deal with after she returns. I also enjoyed Julia's book of short stories, Salt Slow.

Wow, that was pretty scary. What about some fun science-y adventures? -The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson - a sci fi, multiverse traveling book. In the future, society can send people to alternate verses, mostly to steal resources, but you can only be sent if the other version of you is already dead in that world. The writing is fast-paced, really fun, and had some great quotes I even wrote down. It had so many little and big twists along the way, I gasped a lot. -The Founders Trilogy by Robert Jackson Bennett - kinda fantasy, kinda sci fi, kinda steam-punky, but a whole lotta fun! Fast-paced, it has one of the most interesting magic systems I've ever read. It's low on romance but the sapphic relationship that develops had my heart clenching by the last book. I read this series this year and already want to re-read it. -This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - this book is a short but challenging read. It may not be for everyone. Treat it less like a novel and more like a riddle. It's feeding you bits and pieces as it goes and all will be revealed by the end. One of the most romantic books I've read.

Sure sure, but how about some escapism into fantasy now? -The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir - this one could've also gone in the horror or sci fi lists, what with the lesbian necromancers in space tagline. You've probably heard of it, it's dense, complicated at times, and will throw you for a loop when it quotes Linkin Park lyrics at you. Each book has such a different flavor too. A fun series to not only read but also reread! It requires a lot of attention, and I'm not too proud to admit I had to look up several word meanings as I read. The only series I have multiple versions of because I couldn't resist the special editions. -The Burning Kingdoms series by Tasha Suri - love me some fantasy set in a world inspired by the history and epics of India, some morally gray characters, complicated motivations, some betrayal of the ones you love most. This series is so lovely and such a fun and heartwrenching ride and I can't wait for the next book. -Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree - It's cozy, it's sweet, it just made me smile all the way through. The sequel I found just as lovely as well.

Enough with the other worlds! Got anything historical? -The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave - this one could also go on the sad list. It's poetic, lovely. A town of only women since their men all were lost in a storm and how the women manage to move on, deal with their grief, and face a dude who comes in later to try to "set their society right" or whatever. Throw that dude into the sea too. -Fingersmith by Sarah Waters - an absolute rollercoaster of a book. It's a long, great read with deception upon deception upon twists. I also highly recommend the BBC miniseries it was adapted into! -The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite - this one really surprised me. It's honestly really sweet. Two women come together to translate a French astronomy text and fall in love in the process.

Got anything with pictures? -Luisa Now and Then by Carole Maurel - drama, a woman in her 30s encounters her much younger self and they have to come to terms with who they thought they were and what they thought their life would be like. -A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll - heavy on the horror, not really a romance, but it is gorgeous, atmospheric, and didn't go where I thought it was going. -How Do We Relationship by Tamifull - drama, slice of life, one of my favorite series, it goes through some really complex character relationships and interactions. The main couple starts dating pretty quickly, and it only gets more complicated from there. -She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat by Sakaomi Yuzaki - slice of life. This one starts out simply enough, with two women who connect over food. Their relationship blooms slowly from there, and the latest volume introduced some additional characters that expand the discussion on how different our relationship to food and eating can be.

YOUNG ADULT

That was a lot. I'm ready to be sad again. -We Are Okay by Nina LaCour - a girl leaves everyone behind to go to college, and won't talk to them about why or what happened that changed her in those few weeks before she left. Her best friend comes to visit her and what follows is a slow, anguishing tale of grief, regret, and love. Honestly, for a sad time, you can always depend on Nina LaCour. -Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick - this one might not work for everyone if you don't like an amnesia story. It had so much longing, loss, confusion, and a romance strong enough to attempt to get through it. -6 Times We Almost Kissed (and One Time We Did) by Tess Sharpe - Don't let the meme-rific title fool you, this book wrung out my heart. The characters are rich, deep, conflicted, and complicated. Deals with grief, with lost opportunities, with complicated friendships and complicated love. -If Tomorrow Doesn't Come by Jen St. Jude - what happens if you were already suicidal, but then the world is going to end soon anyway? This book deals heavily with depression and the end of the world, in many different meanings. -Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo - this one broke my heart a few times. Two girls who don't know they are related lose their father in a plane crash, and it only gets sadder and more complicated from there as both their words begin to connect.

Wow, all this sadness has made me angry! -Harley Quinn: Reckoning by Rachael Allen - gotta love a female rage revenge book. This book is a really engrossing read, it weaves a lovely mystery, and has one of my all time favorite twists and love interest characters of any book.

I've angered myself out, can we have some happy romance? -She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick - a lovely lovely contemporary romance story. Nothing surprising, just all the good stuff. Also writen by a wife team! -How to Excavate a Heart by Jake Maia Arlow - a very sweet holiday romance that starts when one of the MCs almost runs over her love interest. -Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes - with the topics this one deals with, it could've very easily made the sad list as well. The overall uplifting ending is what kept it more in the happy list for me.

Okay, okay, I'm ready to be scared again! -These Fleeting Shadows by Kate Alice Marshall - this one has it all, creepy house, family trauma, falling for the weird girl in the woods. It all built up to a really great twist too. I recommend the audiobook, it had great production and acting, and even legit scared me and I couldn't listen to it at night.

I like horror, but got anything a little more sci fi? -The Meadows by Stephanie Oaks - along the same lines of A Handmaid's Tale, a dystopian future where the government has a lot to say about what your role is in society and what you are supposed to do/be. At times a little slow, but at all times really heartwrenching.

Anything related to history? -A Million to One by Adiba Jaigirdar - four girls band together to execute a jewel heist on the titanic! Which sounds very exciting and it is! I also bawled at the end. Honestly I will read any and all Adiba Jaigirda books too.

Okay let's get into that fantastical escapism! -Fractured Fables series by Alix E. Harrow - based on fairytales, these two novelas are very quick reads, very engaging and I especially loved the romance that developed in the second one! -We Set the Dark on Fire series by Tehlor Kay Mejia - Handmaids Tale adjacent as well and the backdrop is Latiné inspired. A really great read, both books had be gripped by the chest. Good twists too! -The Winter Duke by Claire Eliza Bartlett - inspired by sleeping beauty, the prince set to inherit the throne falls asleep and his younger sister has to figure out how the hell she keeps it all together until he (hopefully) wakes up. -Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron - a society built after the very real Cinderella story, where all ladies of age go to the ball to be selected as brides, and then the story of a girl trying to fight against all that. -Forgotten Gods series by Marie Rutkoski - A girl who lives on the poor side of town meets a rich girl who seems ready to take her on adventures. I really enjoyed the main character's journey and how she changed oh so very drastically throughout the story. -Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst - I've recced this to friends who did not like it as much as I did but I'm still putting it on this list. Maybe it's just this book has all the things I like and that's fine. A princess betrothed to a prince is hiding her magical abilities and ends up falling for her fiance's sister, oops. -Sofi and the Bone Song by Adrienne Tooley - what drew me to this story was the quiet mystery it weaves. Sofi wants to take her father's place as a Musik (the few musicians in the country allowed to compose music) but then an unexpected, untrained lute player shows up and just absolutely outplays her. Sofi is determined to prove this new girl cheated with magic. Adrienne Tooley overall is an author I always enjoy. -Nampeshiweisit series by Moniquill Blackgoose - only the first book is out so far (To Shape a Dragon's Breath) but boy am I invested! A young girl finds the first dragon egg to appear in her remote island in 15 years, but the colonists of her land have strong opinions of who is allowed to have a dragon, how they need to be trained, and what they should do with dragons.

Phew that was a lot of words. Got anything with pictures again? -Thieves by Lucie Bryon - a really sweet and surprisingly deep story about two girls who steal shit. -Belle of the Ball by Mari Costa - a high school love triangle that worked in all the right ways. I loved the art, and as someone with vision deterioration, one of the easiest reads I've had recently! -Twelfth Grade Night by Molly Horton Booth - the original Shakespeare play Twelfth Night was formative for my lesbian realization, and this cute adaptation was so well done and modernized the story in a really fun and fantastical way. -The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz - continues the running theme of girl pretending to be a boy falls for girl, oops. Has a historical and modern twist to it all, very fun and loved the expressions. Do Not skip the author's notes at the end where she talks about what inspired the story, it was a highlight as well! -Squad by Maggie Tokuda-Hall - Mean Girls meets werewolves -Cosmoknights series by Hannah Templer - princesses, space travel, giant robot fights, this has got it all and some very lovely art to boot! -Honor Girl: A Graphic Memoir by Maggie Thrash - one of those comics that perfectly captures what it feels like to be a young girl falling in love with another girl for the first time. It's a little bit emotionally devastating at times in how expertly it expresses and pinpoints those specific feelings.

#sapphic books #sapphic book recs #this took me all morning #now I can rest

[daydream-cement]

Five More Minutes

Jane Murdstone x Reader

Small little oneshot about waking up with Jane :)

Written for one of my faves - @alexusonfire

“No, no... Not yet. Five more minutes...” Jane murmured, her strong, lean arms pulling you deeper into her bed. Her face buried into your hair, a deep breath escaping her lips as she was fully satisfied being snuggled up to you once more. 

The fire in the hearth was smoldering and had surely gone out an hour ago. From the dead fire and the light peeking in through the windows, you guessed it was nearly 7:30 in the morning (half an hour later than you typically snuck from Jane’s room back to your own). More than anything, you wished to stay in bed with Jane all day, but your father always expected you promptly at 8am for breakfast each morning. 

Jane’s arm seemed to wind tighter around your middle causing you to let out a giggle. Squirming in her arms, you turn to face her, relishing in the feeling of your bare bodies pressed against one another, “Janey... I need to go get dressed before anyone finds us.”

Last night you both celebrated your success in convincing your father to sponsor a trip for Jane and you to France to “study arts and language while recovering from winter sadness.” He agreed with little hesitation, deciding for the two of you to stay in your late grandfather’s seaside home in Les Sables-d'Olonne, away from Paris to keep “the Parisian bachelors at bay.” Only if he knew...

The late night celebration included a bottle of raspberry wine and long bout of lovemaking, leaving you both with only a few hours of sleep which was responsible for Jane’s efforts to keep you in bed. 

Jane’s face was buried in the crook of your neck, her raven locks were falling from their braid and you used your hand to brush some of them back. A quiet hum escaped from her throat at the feeling of your fingers against her scalp. In turn, you felt her fingers splayed outward across your back and her wet tongue swiping across your collarbone. 

“Jane.” Your voice was more of a warning, hoping she would stop before you needed to turn down an opportunity to participate in the beautiful sin of lovemaking.

“We should walk down to the guest house after breakfast...” She whispered before kissing her way back up to your lips. Jane pressed a long, needy kiss to your lips before pulling away and sitting up, hands now searching for her nightgown you had haphazardly discarded hours before. 

Although Jane and you had been romantically intertwined for months, you always had butterflies at the thought of her inviting you down to the guest house as it always meant one thing: hours of love making under the guise of Jane teaching you classical literature. 

You watch as Jane swipes her nightgown from under a pillow that had been shoved to the end of the bed during the night. She slides the fabric over her head and begins buttoning the middle when you dip in for a final kiss. You begin speaking as you slip out of bed, “I do hope we finish Shakespeare today.” 

“If we have time...”

#jane murdstone #jane murdstone x reader #gwendoline christie #gwen christie #The Personal History of David Copperfield #fanfiction #fanfic #oneshot

[seeminglydark]

Omg ok so I made…a LOT of mermay content. I kinda went off the deep end (haha) since I finished working on the comic so this was my self indulgence break. Anyway I love them, they love eachother, here’s a kinda chronological series of events after Caro saves John from drowning in their swamp. Also Mer-Butt, sorry not sorry, their tail pops off like a lizard! I have so many stupid ideas about this, ask me, but my fave one is that after they lose their tail to migrate or whatever in the winter, it becomes like a Whale Fall to support the swamps biome while they are gone. Caro thinks this makes them King of the Swamp, John thinks it’s gross, they are both right. Anyway. Last one’s a sketch that didn’t make the cut but is cute non the less. Help. Also the further I went the more John looks like Solid Snake ha.

Caro and Johnny are Not merfolk and pirate but ARE characters in my webcomics Seemingly Dark and Mil-Liminal

#comics #queer relationships #mermaids #mermay #mini comics #sequential art #monster lover #original characters #mermaid au #pirate

[onceuponastory]

all i need to hear - bucky barnes x reader

'Cause it all means nothing, my dear If I can't be holding you near So tell me you love me, 'Cause that's all that I need to hear - all i need to hear by the 1975

Plot: A few months ago, Bucky broke up with Y/N, and he’s regretted it ever since. All he wants to do is tell her the truth about how he feels...if he can only work up the courage to. Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of a break up if that makes you sad, a few mentions of Bucky’s past as the winter soldier (but nothing too graphic), and the anxiety he has afterwards. As always, if I miss any triggers please let me know! Notes: I’ve had The 1975′s new album on repeat ever since it came out, and this is one of my fave songs from it, so I just had to write something for it. Not beta’d, so any and all mistakes are my own.

“Bucky, you’re staring again.” Sam’s voice cuts through Bucky’s thoughts. Bucky huffs.

“I do stare. As you keep telling me, it’s my thing, remember?”

“Okay, but you’ve been staring at Y/N for what feels like at least an hour now.” This time, Bucky doesn’t have a witty comeback for that. Because he knows it’s true. Noticing his lack of response, Sam’s face softens. “You really miss her, don’t you?” He does. He misses her so badly it hurts every part of him. This isn’t heartbreak anymore. It’s a full-blown aching, one that consumes his every waking moment. Sam doesn’t even need an answer. He can tell right away. “You know you could just tell her how you feel, right?” Bucky glances over at Y/N again, watching as she laughs with Sharon. She looks so happy. Bucky thought, hoped that she was missing him too. But she seems so happy without him. Maybe he doesn’t matter to her anymore. He wouldn’t blame her for that, though.

Things between them both started off so well. Then again, they always do. They were happy, and so in love. But Bucky just had to fuck everything up, just like usual. After everything that he did as the Winter Soldier, with so much blood shed because of him, Bucky Barnes convinced himself that he wasn’t deserving of love. Especially not from someone like Y/N. At first, he tried to hide those thoughts and push through, like he’s been doing ever since he escaped from HYDRA. Yet soon, those thoughts began to intensify, and soon they were eating him alive. 

“What if she left him after realising just how awful he is? What if someone from his past hurt her? Or worse, what if he lost control again and hurt her?”

So, Bucky broke up with her for her own safety. And he’s regretted it ever since. He wants to apologise to her in the hopes that they can start again. But he can’t. The look on her face as her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled as she tried to keep it together still haunts him to this day. It’s worse than it was with any of his victims. Because this time, he was in control the whole time. He was the one who took the knife and twisted it even deeper. That’s not what a good person does, someone who’s deserving of love. That’s what a monster does. He can’t put her through that pain again. What Bucky needs to do is suffer in silence, like he deserves.

Suddenly, Y/N looks over and catches Bucky staring. For a second, the tiniest flicker of a smile crosses her lips, and Bucky feels himself smiling too. For a moment, it’s as if things between them are back to normal, and that nothing ever happened. Once more, they’re in love, and happy again. That smile, the one he loves more than anything in the world, fills Bucky with an overwhelming desire to get up, walk over to Y/N and kiss her all over, just like he used to. A desire that fills his entire being. Yet, just as he’s about to get up, Y/N’s face falls and she looks away. That look tells him everything he needs to know about how she feels about him. Bucky suddenly feels a pit open up in the depths of his stomach. One that he wishes would swallow him whole. With one last look at Y/N, Bucky’s gaze shifts to his lap, and he fiddles with his fingers.

“No. I can’t.” He mumbles sadly.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A few days later, Bucky stands outside Y/N’s apartment, willing himself to knock. He holds the letter in his hands, running his non-metal hand along the edge of the paper. Inside is a complete explanation of why he broke up with her, an apology, and an admission that he still loves her. In fact, he never stopped loving her, not once. He’s written and rewritten it countless times, and even now, he’s not sure it makes any sense. It’s too late now though. Although he can already feel the familiar pit forming in his stomach by the minute, and he considers just dropping the letter at her door and running away. “No. I said I’d make amends, and here I am.” Of course, when his therapist told him to make amends, she meant everyone he hurt as the Winter Soldier. But Bucky hurt Y/N deeply too, and she deserves to read the truth, if even just for closure. 

That is, if he can work up the courage to knock on her fucking door. As he lightly raps the door, Bucky’s stomach churns whilst he thinks of her potential reaction. Either she starts crying and tells him to fuck off, or she punches him and then tells him to fuck off. He would deserve it, though. Of course, Bucky wants more than anything for her to tell him that she feels the same about him, and then they’ll be together again. That’s how things would go in an ideal world, the kind romanticised in fairytales and romcoms. But Bucky Barnes’ life has never been like that, and he knows there’s no way it’ll start now. He’s not the hero, he’s the villain.

The door opens, and Y/N and Bucky are soon face to face again. Bucky feels his breath hitch in his throat. She’s still so beautiful. “Oh. It’s you.” Y/N mumbles. Even though he knows she has every right to, Bucky hates how disappointed she sounds at the sight of him. “What is it?”

“Um, hi! This is for you.” Bucky announces, passing over the letter. He swears he almost has a paper cut from the amount of times he’s been fidgeting with it. “You don’t have to read it now…or ever. It’s just an explanation for everything.” 

“Thanks.” The air around them is suddenly even more awkward, something Bucky didn’t even think was possible. It makes him feel even more guilty. Only a few months ago, they could talk for hours and hours without getting bored with each other. And now, because of him, they’ll never be like that again.

“Y/N listen, I just want to say that-”

“What, Bucky? What do you want? You break up with me out of nowhere, give me complete radio silence, and now you’re here, weeks later?” She snaps. Her words sting, but Bucky knows he deserves them.

“I know. I have no right to be here, not now, or ever.” He agrees, his voice hitching as he feels a lump growing in his throat. “My letter explains it more, but even if you don’t read it, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for all the pain and hurt I’ve caused you. And…I understand if you never want to speak to me again.” As Y/N digests his words, her brows furrowing, Bucky can tell he’s about to start crying. Guilt fills his veins all over again. As he turns to go, he hesitates for a moment, before saying the one thing that’s been on his mind ever since the breakup. “For what it’s worth, I never stopped loving you, not even once. I regret what I did to you every day. I know it’s not an excuse, but please don’t ever think it was your fault, or that it was because I stopped caring for you.” 

“Bucky-”

“No. It’s okay.” He lies, cutting her off. “I just needed to tell you. Don’t worry, I’ll go.” Once he’s out of ear and eyeshot around the corner, Bucky hisses as the tears begin to roll down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He murmurs, even though he knows nobody can hear him. “I’m sorry.”

Later that night, Bucky sits alone in his apartment, just as he does every other night since he and Y/N broke up. It seems as if he’s destined to be alone forever now. It hurts, but that's what he deserves. Soft music plays from his record player, some old 40s music. Y/N used to love dancing to that kind of music…even though she thought it was old-fashioned. Bucky feels his stomach twisting again as more happy memories with Y/N fill his mind again. He’s the worst person in the world. 

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. When Bucky opens it, he’s surprised to see Y/N there. Her eyes are red from crying. Before he can even say anything, Y/N says: “You’re a fucking asshole, you know that, right? A complete, and utter, fucking asshole.” Although her words sting, Bucky knows he deserves them. “That was for not even talking to me about how you were feeling, and just letting me suffer in silence.” Bucky nods, still slightly dazed by her standing in front of him. “Sorry though.”

“No, no. I deserved that.”

“I know I can’t even begin to imagine the things you’ve gone through, but fuck, Bucky, if you’d have just talked to me, I would’ve helped you work through your fears! You didn’t have to suffer in silence. I love you, and as your girlfriend, I was there to help you!” Her choice of words makes Bucky’s eyebrows raise.

“Love? As in…present tense?” He mumbles.

“Well, yeah, I still love you. I didn’t stop either.” She admits. “I missed you dearly, Bucky, and I’m glad you gave me an explanation for why you did it. But that does not negate everything that happened. And it definitely doesn’t mean that everything is immediately okay between us, or that I’ve completely forgiven you.” Bucky nods. Yet, he can feel his heart rate increasing. She still loves him, despite everything that happened. Maybe he has a chance to make things right again. “Can we maybe grab a drink next week? Just for a chat.”

“Absolutely. We can take things as slow as you want.” She manages to crack a small smile at that, and Bucky feels one of his own growing too.

It’ll take a while, but maybe things will turn out okay after all.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Please follow @onceuponastory-library​ and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x Female Reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fic #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel oneshot

[anoray]

Tech = CX-2

Are the puzzle pieces adding up or are they yanking our chain?

Tech's fall is very interesting considering how closely it resembles Bucky's plunge in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Which just so happens to be one of TBB executive producer, Jennifer Corbett's, fave movies per her own admission.

If Tech was indeed captured by the extremely vile Dr. Hemlock after his sacrifice, it seems quite plausible he could be reprogrammed a la Bucky into becoming CX-2 considering his memory could have been severely impacted by his fall. Tech's goggles look damaged enough to make injury-induced amnesia a distinct possibility. In that case, he'd already be at least a partially blank slate for Hemlock to experiment on. And I have no doubt Hemlock would jump at the opportunity to turn another Batcher against their own to recapture Omega (with a side of revenge against Crosshair for returning to his clone family).

As far as CX-2 being a clone of Crosshair (or being the real Crosshair), I'm keeping in mind that my fave cranky sharpshooter is 6'4" tall whereas the height for both CX-2 and Tech is around 6 feet. Why would a clone not match the original specimen?

Speaking of sharpshooters, Tech may not be ultra-enhanced like Crosshair, but he's displayed major sniper skills of his own. For example, it was Tech who often provided the exact target coordinates for Crosshair and the others to shoot or lob bombs at, usually at breakneck speed in battle. He also shot their way out of the deadly, dangerous ipsium mine back in Season 2, not to mention he managed a very precise shot while dangling on a wire to separate the rail cars before he plummeted into the mist. Ergo, I believe CX-2's shooting accuracy is not beyond Tech's innate abilities.

And that use of "domicile." Yeah, like they just randomly included that word in CX-2's dialogue.

Yes, it is certainly possible CX-2 is Cody instead and I was leaning that way at first...but this series revolves around Omega and the Batch , and they just don't have the same emotional connection to Cody as they do to Tech. If Cody is revealed as being CX-2, it will hurt Rex far more than it does the Batchers. So I'm now thinking Cody is being saved for something else.

I could be 100% wrong in my efforts to follow all these breadcrumbs they've been tossing at us along the way. I'm just hoping that, for once, one of my Star Wars blorbos is not dead after all and has a teeny tiny chance to be restored. But please have it end in a good way and not with a twist of the knife.

#tech #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #the winter soldier parallels have me biting my fingernails #please just get it over with and unmask cx-2 #and please don't kill off anyone else #is it too much to ask star wars

[vettelsvee]

YOU'LL FIND ME IN THE STARS | Sebastian Vettel

f1 masterlist | history series masterlist

history series season 1: part 1 | part 2.1 | part 2.2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

summary: sebastian can't get di out of his head even though he's back home with hanna, his girlfriend. that's why the young man decides to step up with his decision: doing everything possible to have the austrian continuing her internship alongside him, now at redbull. little did he know that does news weren't the only ones that diana wagner not only would receive on christmas, but also would change her life.

word count: 6919

warnings: brief mentions of sexual activities, anxiety attacks, sickness, death and suicide. bad language, curse words.

taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable @vincentvanshoe @formulaonebuff] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3

a/n: last part of history season 1! hope you liked it because this is just the beginning of seb and di's story. they're my very own fave characters i've ever created and i hope you liked them as much as I do :)

¡! you can read the fanfic as diana or y/n, but the faceclaim will always be my girl emma stone :)

feedback is truly appreciated!

2008 Berlin, Germany

Only two days, actually one if they considered it was already Friday, were left for the meeting with Red Bull and Sebastian, who complained to his public relations that he seemed to have no vacation during the winter break, insisted on driving to the German capital despite the six long hours ahead.

"Are you sure you don't prefer to go by plane?" his girlfriend asked, settling into the passenger seat as Sebastian placed the suitcase they would share in the trunk. "Britta can find us a last-minute flight, I'm sure."

"Hanna, I'm a professional driver, and I have a license to prove it," the blonde replied, getting into the car. "I've spent about nine months driving a single-seater at over three hundred kilometers per hour; now I need to drive like a normal guy, with my girlfriend by my side, while I calmly drive on roads I don't know, enjoy the scenery, and feel the wind on my face."

"You better not open the windows at three degrees we have out there."

"Wait and see."

As soon as the driver started the car, he turned the heating to the max and directed it towards Hanna, who just rolled her eyes at the gesture. Although she knew her boyfriend like the back of her hand for years, there were many occasions when his antics surprised her.

"Okay, okay," Prater finally responded, raising her hands in redemption, followed by a yawn. "I understand you want to act like a normal twenty-one-year-old guy, so go ahead," she indicated, pointing her index finger at the road ahead.

They had only been on the road for about an hour and Hanna had already given up, falling into an immediate sleep that had interrupted the conversation she and Sebastian were having about the apartment they planned to see in Berlin and intended to buy. Although the German enjoyed driving, he didn't like doing it alone, at least not outside Formula 1.

The music playing in the background, coming from a local radio station, along with the constant roar of the engine, was what kept him from dwelling too much on why his mind had been so distracted since the end of the season or, more precisely, on the person who had occupied all his thoughts.

No matter how hard he tried, Vettel's mind was elsewhere, immersed in that unnatural blonde hair and blue eyes that conveyed both security and fear, from the girl who had a brighter future than many people made her believe.

Since that victory in Monza, the German's judgment was completely clouded and filled with confusion. He couldn't overlook any of the interactions they had had since then. The spark in the girl's gaze and her desire to see him succeed, regardless of what happened to her, left Sebastian completely bewildered.

Did the Austrian see the possibility of going beyond a simple friendship between them? Or was it him, seeing in Diana what he would like to see in Hanna?

Possibly the latter: the problem was him.

The night wind entered gently through the window, which the blonde had opened slightly shortly after her girlfriend fell asleep, who was unaware, thankfully, of all the possible scenarios Sebastian was creating and would like to experience with Wagner. The last thing he wanted at that moment was another jealous outburst from his girlfriend, although he deserved it.

While his love for his girl was the most important thing to him, he couldn't help but feel remorse for realizing that there were certain things his girlfriend seemed to lack, but that Diana shared with him. It wasn't just their passion for motorsport anymore, but also the concern the intern felt every time the pilot got in and out of the car, when he finished a press conference or an interview, or even those moments when he saw him with few friends. Prater rarely did that, even if she made an effort to show a minimum of feigned interest.

Diana Wagner was the kind of person whose world could be falling apart, and yet she would worry more about the person in front of her.

For months, Sebastian had been wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him by comparing the two girls. Was it fair to Hanna for him to think of Diana as her replacement? Even for the Austrian: was it normal for him to see her as the idealized version of his girlfriend? Sebastian found himself in completely unknown territory from which he couldn't find a way out, and the more he thought about it, the more lost he became in his feelings.

Hanna shifted slightly in her seat, turning her head in the opposite direction, now facing the pilot. Vettel took a few brief seconds to turn his gaze toward her while still paying attention to the road ahead. He loved the girl beside him and would do anything to make her the happiest woman in the world.

A knot started forming in his stomach: he didn't want to hurt her, but it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to clear his head, the mental block growing stronger as the hours of the journey passed, even when they had already entered the German capital.

Friday had passed faster than Sebastian expected. As soon as they parked their car in a nearby hotel parking lot and checked in with autographs and a photo session with the hotel staff included, they dropped off their few belongings in the assigned suite and took a short nap to recharge. Within hours, Vettel and Prater were roaming the streets of Berlin incognito, heading to the apartment they had in mind to buy. Sebastian's impulsivity, driven by guilt, led him to say yes without giving the blonde much chance to decide, making the pilot start convincing himself that the future with his girlfriend, Hanna, was what he should have in mind. They also enjoyed an early dinner at one of the blonde's favorite restaurants in the city.

The new Red Bull star wanted to do everything possible to make his partner happy and distance her from all the insecurity she gained because of him. At the same time, he wanted to get rid of intrusive thoughts that, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them, were meddling too much in every aspect of his life.

When they returned to the room, a sense of calm invaded them. Hanna left her bag on a chair near the main door, stretching as Seb took off his coat and delicately hung it on one of the racks, his yawns filling the room. After that, the blonde approached the girl from behind, embracing her tenderly and holding onto her as if he was going to lose her.

"I'm very happy about everything we're going to do together from now on, love," he whispered in her ear, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Hanna turned carefully, still hugging him but now looking directly into his eyes while her hands rested on his sturdy chest.

"I am too, Seb," the girl replied with a smile that perfectly reflected her fatigue. "This is just the beginning of a new chapter in our story."

The driver held her even closer, stroking her hair and removing some strands from her face, placing small kisses on her crown. Hanna leaned in decisively, and their lips met. The tenderness that initially seemed to characterize the connection between the young couple gradually turned into passion, their mouths moving in such perfect synchrony that it seemed rehearsed. Sebastian's hands began to explore his girlfriend's back, deepening the caress that was interrupted by the blonde, who was looking at the guy with ulterior motives.

"Do you want me to do something to you?" the girl suggested mischievously. "I'm at your disposal for whatever you want. Just ask."

Prater started taking off the sweater she was wearing, throwing it on the floor, and kissed Vettel again, now with more desperation. At the same time, while trying to dedicate time to his girlfriend, Sebastian once again had visions of the Toro Rosso intern in his mind, remembering the last times they had been together and, especially, how he wished things were different between them.

How his life could be different.

"I'm sorry, Hanna," he said, pulling away from his girlfriend and taking a step back. "I'm very tired... and I can't take it anymore, I need to rest a bit," he tried to articulate as calmly as possible, pretending to lie on the bed.

"Come on, Seb, don't spoil the fun for me," the girl encouraged him, raising an eyebrow, pushing him to lie on the mattress and positioning herself on top of him. "Now we have no one to bother us, and you can make me scream as much as you want."

Hanna wasn't giving up easily, and Sebastian knew that perfectly well.

"Hanna, I'm being serious..." the pilot began to say, trying to get her off him. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I've been driving for almost seven hours all night, and I've only slept about two hours since last night," Seb explained, using the journey as an excuse. "I need to sleep for twenty hours straight. The Red Bull I had is not enough."

Hanna looked at him, changing her expression to a more serious one as she tried to extract something beyond her boyfriend's words. Her expression reflected concern, which upset the pilot even more than he appeared.

"Are you okay, Seb?"

The mentioned sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes, don't worry. I just need to sleep, at least, two days in a row and sort out my thoughts... about tomorrow's meeting."

"Relax, sweetheart," the girl began to say, caressing his cheek. "I don't want to pressure you if you're not comfortable. And don't worry about tomorrow's meeting: I'm sure everything will go smoothly."

The German simply nodded slightly, trying to act as normal as possible.

"Tomorrow everything will be over, so calm down. Everything will be more than resolved, and I promise I'll devote myself body and soul to everything you want until the season starts."

Hanna convinced herself that this would be true, calming down a bit when Vettel approached and gave her a peck, then got into bed. The girl was curious about how events would unfold the next morning with Marko and Horner, especially regarding the famous intern, but she wouldn't find out until much later because she couldn't be at the meeting. Moreover, she preferred to stay studying there; she had too many assignments and final exams to prepare to be up and down. She had accompanied Seb to Berlin to enjoy his company as much as possible.

Determined, she got up to remove her makeup and get ready to go to bed herself, although at the same time, she did it so Sebastian could have some time alone and calm down without pressure. She tried to keep the lights off and not make much noise: there had been few occasions when the pilot had had an anxiety attack, but Prater knew perfectly well that when it happened, the last thing he wanted was to talk, wishing to escape from everyone to hide his vulnerability.

When she was ready, she slipped carefully between the sheets, staying behind Seb's back while trying not to disturb the calm that seemed to have finally consumed him. The room would be immersed in a sepulchral silence if it weren't for both of their breaths, which always became synchronized after a few rigorous minutes. Seeing the scene, Hanna felt the urge to move toward Vettel. Gently, she approached him until she was close enough to put an arm over his waist, pulling him toward her protectively. She felt how the boy relaxed, encouraging her to continue: instinctively, she rested her head on the shoulder she had free, closed her eyes, and let sleep take her to a world where, perhaps, Sebastian Vettel didn't have so many doubts about their relationship.

[...]

Sebastian

The landscape visible through the tinted windows of the van taking Britta and me to the hotel for the meeting to finalize my six-year contract with Red Bull was more than memorized in my memory from all the times I had traveled it. I guess that's the advantage of having photographic memory. But it's also a disadvantage because I remember perfectly every single moment I've shared with her, moments that I'm not supposed to have so vivid. 

The so-called power of Diana Wagner, I suppose.

Her face, her smile, her voice... everything seemed to have moved into my mind with no intention of leaving for a long time, and I hated it immensely because I felt an indescribable emotion when I saw her. But at the same time, the confusion was huge because I couldn't understand what role her presence was playing in my life. Add to that, the fact that I felt like a complete idiot for Hanna, who deserved none of this, no matter how many scenes of jealousy she made or how much insecurity she emanated; after all, I understood her—I behaved like a Neanderthal on many occasions when I saw her classmates too close.

Britta was by my side, delivering a speech that my mind didn't seem to grasp because it was already working hard, thinking about the intern.

"Seb, are you listening to me?"

The poker face she threw at me when she seemed to realize I wasn't listening was indescribable. I just nodded quickly.

"Why are you so concerned about Wagner?" she asked, cutting the tension that had formed between us.

My hands turned into a fist automatically, my knuckles turning a shade of red that even worried me.

"I don't know," I admitted, looking at her briefly before returning my gaze to the city's buildings. "Since we said goodbye, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her..."

"It's normal to have feelings for other people," she interrupted, not giving me the opportunity to continue explaining myself. "But you have to know perfectly well what you want and, more importantly, who you want."

If my mind was a whirlwind, after her words, it was even more so. Why was it impossible for me to forget, even for a few months, about Diana? But that's not all: most importantly, I didn't know why everything I did with Hanna or everything I wanted to say to her, I wanted to say to the adopted Barcelona girl. I felt like I was somehow being unfaithful to her.

My public relations continued talking, only sending me another small thread of everything she was saying, repeating as if it were a mantra that I had to take into account what having Di on our team would mean. She even emphasized strongly that, before making a hasty decision, I should think with my brain and not with my penis.

It seemed she didn't know me, and that's what made me dislike her in moments like these.

"Vettel, come here!"

As soon as we stepped into that meeting room in one of Berlin's most luxurious hotels, Christian opened his arms for a hug, setting aside the formalities I had seen from him until then. Marko was in one of the corners, holding a folder with the team logo in his hands, completely still and with a distant look, although I knew he was analyzing everything I said or did; I could see him occasionally commenting to Guillaume Rocquelin, who would be my new race engineer, better known as Rocky, while I talked to Horner about what I had done during the only free week I had had so far.

When Helmut finally deigned to greet me, I stood straight as a candle, just as I did in school whenever I was reprimanded. No jokes for now; Roeske had already warned me about that. I was too young to be out of a job.

"I'm glad to see you again, Sebastian," he said, offering a handshake that I gladly accepted. God, he was so sweaty. "We're delighted to have you here. Let me introduce you to Rocky," he turned to the man next to him, who already had a big smile on his face, "from now on, if you decide to sign the contract, he'll be your race engineer at Red Bull."

How could I not sign the contract? I wanted my favorite girl from the paddock to be with me wherever I went. I didn't want to be out of a job.

Damn it, thinking about Diana again.

"Pleasure, Sebastian," the engineer said, giving me a hug that left me completely out of place. "I'm thrilled that we'll be working together from now on. I know you have potential."

"Thank you."

I couldn't say more because, even before finishing the word, Marko was already demanding that I sit next to Britta, who already had an impressive pile of papers in front of her. I did that, also asking her with my gaze what it was; she didn't answer, of course, but threw another one of her many phrases at me with her eyes that I knew perfectly. In this case, it could be something like "stop being a teenage jerk and focus on being an adult for once."

"All right, Sebastian," Helmut Marko began to say, "you already know well what the contract entails because, if I recall correctly, we publicly confirmed your entry into the team at the German Grand Prix this year, 2008," I nodded, "and we agreed that you would replace Coulthard about two months earlier, in May," I affirmed again, "so you must have read the contract around February or March, but it was confidential."

God, how annoying.

"Exactly."

"Well," he continued, making me more nervous. I don't know how he could live from the calm he always carried with him, "let's review the terms and everything you'll be facing for the next six years."

"The contract will last, as I've already mentioned, six years, from 2009 to 2014, with the possibility of extending it, which will allow us to establish a solid relationship with you and, especially, to develop your potential to the fullest. You already know well that during this time, you will be the number one pilot, the most important member of the team, without intending to belittle Webber," he clarified, although I knew it was an excuse as thin as a demon. "This will give you the opportunity to demonstrate what you are capable of and, above all, achieve what we believe you desire most: accumulating podiums, victories, and even winning a championship or two. Regarding responsibilities," he changed the subject to one that seemed infinitely more boring to me, "we only expect you to integrate into the team and contribute both to the development of the car and to race strategies," he said, looking at the engineer beside him, "alongside Guillaume. We're not just looking for the best driver for the coming seasons, nor the fastest, but someone who can provide the necessary feedback to make us a rocket."

"And how much are you going to pay him?" Britta impatiently wanted to know, eliciting a smile from me that didn't amuse the company owner as much. "I believe that's what my client is most interested in and what we haven't discussed yet, I'm afraid."

For those reasons, I knew I couldn't easily let this woman slip away.

"He'll have a base salary and, from there, bonuses based on the results he achieves, especially if they're P1," explained the older man, earning mere murmurs from Britta. "But don't worry about that, Roeske, we'll provide everything necessary in terms of facilities, personnel, and resources so that your client, as you've called him, walks away satisfied every year."

"And would that be all?"

"Don't play dumb, woman," now Christian was speaking, whom I both loved and hated in equal measure. "You read the contract even before Sebastian did."

The expression she made seemed like she wanted the ground to swallow her. I knew nothing about her knowing what would be in the contract before I did... Should I be worried, or should I be calm because that was her job?

"Do you have any questions or concerns about the contract?" Horner asked with interest. "We want you to have everything clear before you sign anything. If you regret something, you can tell us with complete sincerity, you know you're the new star and we want you to feel at home."

Britta's gazes were penetrating me even before I knew she was looking at me because I knew what she was going to ask. Was it the best decision? Probably not, but sometimes the heart wants what it wants and mine, in those moments, wanted to do everything possible for Diana Wagner to have the opportunity to show the world what she was capable of. The woman looked at me, making faces so that I wouldn't say anything of what she knew as well as I did that I was going to end up saying.

"Yes," I said, taking a breath before explaining what had been going through my mind for so long. "I would like Diana Wagner, the Toro Rosso intern who was subordinate to Alex last season," I told them as I saw their faces turn into completely different expressions, "to be with us, on the team, doing something more than what she has done this year."

Roeske observed me impatiently, while the two big shots from Red Bull exchanged somewhat uncomfortable looks. The engineer simply remained silent, watching the other three as much as I was.

"Why would you like this Diana to join us, Sebastian?" Helmut wanted to know, which seemed very odd to me.

"I know what she's capable of," I began, "but since she's not given a chance to demonstrate her talent, it's impossible for you to see it. Each and every one of us, myself included, has underestimated her at some point because she's a woman and inexperienced, when all she's doing is fighting to learn, carve out a place for herself, and above all, try to be the best at what she knows could be her future profession," I declared with a tone increasingly angry from the rage contained within me. I had to learn to control it as my mother had told me so many times, but it was impossible in cases like this.

Christian Horner and Helmut Marko glanced at each other again, but unlike before, now they seemed to have a clear decision, and it didn't give me a good feeling. Before they could say anything, Britta interrupted them, showing no consideration for how much I disliked talking about my personal life in public:

"Sebastian..." she commented, knowing perfectly well the doubts that had been plaguing my mind for so long, "don't act like Diana is Hanna. Don't do this out of pity because it will end very badly."

I couldn't say anything because I knew she was right. Britta Roeske once again had bloody well hit the nail on the head, and I couldn't take it away from her. Her words echoed in my mind constantly, along with every single conversation we had had on the subject. I had a serious problem, and making another impulsive decision wasn't the best way to act.

But I did it. I ended up doing it for that bright-eyed girl whose eyes turned dark every time they trampled on her, threatened her, insulted her, or suggested she do another job than the one she was there to do, among thousands of other words and gestures that surely made her feel like crap in the area of her life that stood out the most; surely Toro Rosso hadn't selected her from thousands of candidates if they hadn't seen the potential she had. I wasn't the only one who could think that.

"This has nothing to do with me feeling sorry for Diana or not," I tried to calm my anger, "but these are professional matters that I would like to address because, just as something, I don't know what, was seen in me to run for this team, I also see that this girl can succeed when given the opportunity to do so," I turned to Helmut eagerly, and I swore his eyes began to penetrate him like no one had ever done before: “You are the ones who claim to have a young team. Don't you think it would be good to have a more rejuvenated vision of engineering, to learn from each other? No offense, man," I ended up looking at my engineer.

I could feel the doubts of everyone present, but there had come a point where I didn't care anymore: I was determined to fight for what I believed was right, regardless of the consequences that all this fuss I had created based on a slight obsession with a colleague might bring.

"Seb, please," the blonde replied authoritatively, but at the same time with affection as she looked at me with concern, "take things slowly. You're not thinking clearly, your feelings are doing it for you."

"No, Britta, I'm thinking very clearly," I replied firmly. "I can't turn my back on someone who has passion and potential for this sport, and that was clearly seen with the victory I achieved in Monza because she was the one who designed the strategy since Alex decided to leave after psychologically abusing her."

Shit, I had gone too far revealing details, but I didn't care because their faces, which had been completely impressed, except for Roeske's, were the sign that made me affirm that I had made the right decision.

"Diana was the one who prepared it?" Rocky wanted to know, and I nodded. He was the most surprised person in the room, and that gave me a little hope.

"If it hadn't been for her, I probably wouldn't have finished the race."

Everyone in the room was even more surprised. I don't blame them, I was too at the time, but I was bored: I needed Diana Wagner to surprise me even more.

"To be honest, we had no intention of continuing to trust Miss Wagner for the next season," Helmut Marko confessed, and my heart began to race. What if, after all, I had messed up even more? “To be honest, the internship program we set up turned out to be much worse than initially thought. If you are so determined for this girl to join the team, then we will establish some conditions for her to join," announced the man, "and if she doesn't meet expectations, she will be expelled immediately."

Marko's voice was firm, but behind it, I knew he wanted to test Di and me for what I had proposed. His look conveyed to me that, as much as he trusted that I could make Red Bull Racing shine, he didn't trust the opinion of a twenty-one-year-old kid; the same could be said of Horner, Rocky, and Britta, who probably weren't giving credit to the kind of debate the team advisor and I were having.

"Agreed," Roeske sighed beside me and crossed her arms. I knew she was angry and that she would scold me as soon as we left there, but I didn't care. WI don't know what Diana will think of all this, but I'm sure she's more than willing to prove more than she's worth; just as I know she won't disappoint you."

"I hope your words are true, Vettel. You'd better not do this because you have some kind of fling with the girl, because if you mess up, she'll be out on the street with you right behind her."

My lungs seemed to have disappeared because at that moment I didn't feel the air flowing through my body. Her look made me feel like a lost child, with no one to help him and not knowing where to go. I had defended Diana tooth and nail and didn't regret it; in fact, I would do it as many times as necessary, but... was it just because of the innate talent I had seen in her from the very beginning?

I had to prove at all costs from March onwards that everything I had said had been from a professional point of view, and emphasizing that there was no future life that we planned to have together because I had Hanna for that.

Diana's and my future, our future, was now more at stake than ever, and if we failed the Austrians, we would fail ourselves more than anyone else.

However, no matter how much I tried to calm my mind and forget them, Christian Horner's words stuck to me like darts because I knew that, deep down, I had just brought out a truth that I myself wasn't ready to face yet.

[...]

2008 December 25th

Barcelona, Spain

The dreaded Christmas Eve had arrived, marking the beginning of another ridiculous Christmas at the Wagner family home. Since Rosalie's departure, those festive times filled with music, food, gifts, and, especially, love, had turned into a routine that had to be celebrated no matter what in Bernhard's eyes; for Diana, however, it was quite the opposite.

After her mother's suicide, the girl had done everything in her power, without anyone's help, to ensure that Christmas wouldn't be ruined for her six-year-old sister. The redhead was in charge of preparing the decorations during the famous December festivities celebrated in Spain from the sixth to the eighth of December, where she set up the Christmas tree and various other ornaments. Also, well in advance of the 24th, she prepared a dinner different from the usual with care, trying to make it more elaborate as the years went by; and she even bought gifts, saving money for months thanks to sporadic jobs that she managed to get.

All of this took a lot of effort, and sometimes she thought about not doing anything to avoid conflicts with her father during those two weeks, but the desire to keep the excitement alive in little Amelie was what ultimately won.

That year, thanks to her salary as an intern, she had been able to exceed her initial budget. The food was of better quality, and she had even made enough to eat in the days to come. At the same time, there were more gifts for the youngest of the house, and even for their father, who always rejected any presents they gave him.

Although the little one was now 12 years old, she still had as much excitement for Christmas as they did when they were a normal family, thanks to the efforts of her older sister.

"Amelie, come get the foie grass and grab a beer for dad!"

The girl quickly obeyed her elder sister's orders, taking what she had been told and bringing it to the head of the household. As she watched her sister walk away and finished finalizing the details of the main dish, she felt her mobile phone vibrate in her pocket.

She took out the device and saw messages from Sebastian. To say that her heart didn't skip a beat would be lying to herself.

It was Sebastian, telling her that they would see each other on February 9th in Jerez. That she was going to continue in Formula 1, now as a Red Bull intern. With him.

"Diana, come to dinner now!"

As soon as she heard the voices in her native language from her father, she quickly tucked her phone into her pocket and returned to the living room, carrying a tray with the roast she had been preparing all day. Upon crossing the door, she saw her father sitting in his armchair watching the Christmas programs on Spanish Television, trying to hum along to a few carols he liked with his limited level of Spanish. Diana placed the food in the center of the table and sat to the right of her sister, leaving Bernhard at the head of the table.

At that moment, Sebastian Vettel had given her the best Christmas gift she had received, and the only good news that would resonate in the Wagner family unit for quite some time.

"Dad, Amelie..." the girl began, unable to hide her excitement. Barely a few minutes had passed since she had received the messages from the German, and maybe she should inquire a bit more in case it was a joke, but she couldn't wait. "Sebastian sent me a message a couple of minutes ago saying they have decided to promote me to Red Bull alongside him to be his track engineer's assistant."

The father's face lit up, something Diana hadn't seen for quite some time. Her younger sister jumped out of her chair and bounced around, completely euphoric, rushing to hug her instantly.

"What do you mean, an engineer?" Bernhard wanted to know, taking a sip from his beer can and trying not to choke on what seemed to be excitement. "Does that mean you won't be an intern anymore?"

Diana nodded, shaking her head faithfully. "That seems to be the case. In the end, getting fired by the other team seems to have worked out."

"By the way, Diana," the man said again, steering the conversation to a completely different topic, "I'd like to tell you and Ame something."

The sisters' faces paled a bit, not knowing what their father might be referring to. He straightened up in his seat and looked them directly in the face. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and the redhead had a premonition that what would come out of the mouth of the man who gave her life would not be good.

"I've been facing some health issues lately," he announced. "Your sister knows that I've been to the doctor more times than I'd like to count," he recounted, looking at the younger one, who agreed with her father, "and if we haven't told you anything, it's because we didn't want you to abandon the season for a father with less and less time left."

Diana, who was drinking Coke, spat out the soda she had in her mouth, staining her burgundy-colored dress a shade of brown. Amelie was in shock, and her gaze began to alternate between her father and her sister.

"Excuse me?"

The words that came out of the adult's mouth couldn't be true.

"The doctors have diagnosed me with ALS, and besides having a late diagnosis, it seems to be progressing faster than expected."

That was impossible. She couldn't lose her father too.

Tears began to form in the girl's eyes as she felt arms wrap tightly around her waist. The muffled sobs of her younger sister on Christmas Eve were the last thing she expected. Trying to process the news, Diana could only blame herself for not being there with her father, thinking if she had been, none of this would be happening.

"I know this is difficult...," Bernhard continued, his voice trembling slightly, "but I want you to know that I'm taking the appropriate measures, listening to the experts, and I'll be joining palliative care in the coming days."

"What's palliative care, Diana?"

Ignoring her sister's question, Diana carefully pushed her away. She couldn't believe it; this couldn't be happening to her.

"Does what Dad said mean he's going to die, Didi?" the girl insisted again, this time tugging forcefully at her dress sleeves.

Diana couldn't deny her sister, not because she wanted to deny her the truth, but because at that moment, she couldn't say anything. Faced with her sister's deafening silence and her father's growing anxiety, Amelie opted to leave the room in tears, ignoring what might happen next in the living room.

"Hey, Dad..." Wagner tried to say, but it was completely impossible. That day felt like a dream, and neither what Vettel nor his father had said was true.

It was difficult for her to articulate words now that she was alone with someone who would leave her sooner rather than later. She tried to stay calm to maintain the family's composure because if it wasn't her, no one else would. Inside, her body was a bundle of nerves, on the verge of collapse. She wanted to scream, to hit something, and above all, to die in those moments so she wouldn't have to watch her father die.

She couldn't become an orphan at her young age of twenty.

Who would walk her down the aisle if she ever got married to someone who loved her enough, as her father had promised her so many times?

Especially that question, and a thousand more, began to swirl in her mind, only causing her to sink deeper into her newly found misery.

"You need help in these moments. If that means I have to leave Formula 1, don't worry," she managed to articulate at last, drawing strength from where she didn't have it.

Bernhard jumped up as best he could. He wasn't going to let his daughter give up the dream she had been waiting to achieve for so long, and for which she had fought for years.

"Don't you dare say that, young lady!" he exclaimed with an authoritative yet sweet tone. "Listen to me," he continued, trying to capture the girl's attention. "When I'm no longer here, I want to see you succeed, do you understand? I want to see you at the top, from the top," his eyes turned to the ceiling of the house, knowing Diana would understand where he was going with this. "I want, when you manage to stand alongside the driver you direct and collect a world title, to look up and be aware that I'm watching you from a better place."

"I can't bear the thought of losing you, Dad," the young woman was sobbing, unable to control her tears. "Saying goodbye to you too, in such a short time, isn't fair... Six years ago it was mom, and now you."

"Diana Wagner, I want you to know that wherever you are, you will always find me in the stars," the man gently took his daughter's face in his hands, wiping away the tears that covered her cheeks. "You were born for this, so don't let my situation make you abandon everything you're fighting for."

"But, Dad..."

"I know this is very difficult, little one, but I want you to know that I am very proud of you and the woman you have become," he paused to catch his breath due to the difficulty he had with it, "and the woman you will surely continue to become. I know your mother would be very proud of you too."

Tears flowed freely again, and the sobs increased. Diana hugged her father tightly and wished to die right there with him.

"I don't know how I'll be able to do it without you," she revealed, leaving the man stunned. "It hurts to think of losing you."

"Well then, don't," he declared.

Immediately, Bernhard sat back on the couch and patted his lap, indicating to his daughter to sit on it. Despite hesitating for a moment due to her father's well-known delicate health condition, Diana eventually complied, feeling like she was five years old again.

"You know? I like this Sebastian guy you've talked so much about. I don't think I've ever told you," the man said.

The girl felt a slight blush beginning to creep onto her cheeks. Diana had shared everything she had experienced with Sebastian day and night with her family, but they had never reached the point where they questioned whether she had a slight crush on the German.

"Do you think I'll ever get to meet him?" the brunette continued to insist.

The redhead knew that question would come up at some point, but not minutes after her father had told her and her sister that he was dying and that there was nothing to be done for him except to wait for his life to fade away.

"Of course, Dad. You'll get along great, I'm sure," she lied, knowing it would be very difficult for that to happen.

"And will he like me enough to have him as a son-in-law?"

Diana laughed. Her father always had to match her up with someone, regardless of what happened between them.

"Sebastian is just my friend, Dad," the redhead clarified, getting off her father's lap. "Plus, I'm not sure he would ever come to love me in the future as anything more than... his friend. Well, I'm not even sure about us being friends, to be honest," she corrected herself.

She knew Bernhard was putting on all this show to calm her down and make her forget the devastating news that not only ruined their holidays but possibly their lives; but at the same time, a fervent desire arose in her to tell him the whole truth about how she had felt in recent months with the blue-eyed German who had been so kind to her, unlike many others.

Tears welled up in Diana's eyes again when she realized that her father might never know that she was slowly but earnestly falling in love with Sebastian Vettel, and that there was nothing she wished more at that moment than for him to meet the man she wanted to be her future son-in-law.

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I got tagged again for this by @chevvy-yates :3 thank you!

OC INTERVIEW: Sanctuary Zelenko & Joey Armas

▪ NICKNAME:

"Named myself Sanctuary after my favorite cologne, back when I was twenty. Company went under a year later, and then someone drank the rest of the only bottle I had. You remember Axis, baby?"

"That dumb piece of shit? Wait, that why you scrapped with him? Over the cologne?"

"Yeah. That's how I ended up with this. Couple people called me Zipperface for months."

"I 'member that. Won't lie, I thought it was pretty funny."

"'Course you did. Answer the question."

"Oh, my mama prob'ly named me Joseph or John or something but I've been Joey all my life."

▪ GENDER:

"I want you to guess."

"C'mon, I don't wanna be here forever. I'm a boy, and they're Sanctuary. 'f you try to make it make sense, your little head'll explode."

▪ ORIENTATION:

"I'm a man of many tastes."

"Nah, he likes anybody who looks like they'd grab his hips and make him beg. Isn't that right, baby?"

"Ain't denying. Hey, what're you squirming for? You asked the question, choom. We're just bein' honest."

▪ NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY:

"Born and raised here, but my parents both came from Ukraine. Don't really know what that makes me."

"You know more than me. Which is fuck-all, honestly. Whole family is dead now, though, so what's it matter? Sorry, 'm I makin' you uncomfortable again? Don't feel bad. Not like you killed 'em. Fuckers who did were taken care of years ago, don't worry."

▪ HEIGHT:

"Depends on what boots I'm wearin'."

"Flat, he's five-nine. And I'm five-eleven. I like to wear heels, though, so people look at me. Nothing gets someone's attention like a nice pair of heels. Or a big fucking knife."

"Yeah, I got the big fucking knife covered."

▪ STAR SIGN:

"Scorpio."

"I ain't even sure what my actual birthdate is. My citizen record says March twentieth but Mom always said she was just guessing. So that's, what, Aries or somethin'?"

"Not like it matters."

"Yeah, don't believe in that shit anyway."

▪ FAVE FRUIT:

"Ate a banana once. Real one. That shit was good."

"Where the hell'd you get a real banana?"

"Got a donor once who had a suite at the Highcourt, years back. Dub did her copycat thing and got in pretending she was a girlfriend experience or something. Stole everything she could carry. Not much, bitch had scrawny arms, but she got the fruit and some sweet threads."

"Don't remember that."

"Nah, it was right before we met. I remember, 'cause I was wearing the guy's underwear when we did meet."

"Do you still have the underwear?"

"No. Had to toss 'em after I got stabbed one time. Would've kept them 'cept that the bloodstain looked like I shit myself."

▪ FAVE SEASON:

"You think the twenty-degree flux we get counts as seasons? Well, it's winter, anyway. Shorter days, less sun."

"Fall. I make good money in the fall. Everyone's done partying for the summer, got their new implants, lookin' for glory on the streets."

▪ FAVE FLOWER:

"I dunno dick about flowers. I don't even know what kinds I got tattooed on me. Guess those would be my favorite, 'f I knew what they were called."

"I don't pay much attention to flowers, either."

▪ FAVE SCENT:

"Sanctuary. ...You didn't like it when we were talkin' about my "orientation" or whatever. Gonna really hate it if I go into detail about scent."

"I use pomegranate shampoo."

"Yeah, that's part of it."

▪ COFFEE, TEA, HOT CHOCOLATE:

"Don't like hot drinks. I'll drink lemonade, though."

"I used to drink coffee, but these days caffeine just fucks me up. I have enough headaches without it."

▪ AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP:

"Who keeps track? I'm a night owl, anyway."

"I try to get a reasonable amount in so I don't kill my patients."

▪ DOG OR CAT PERSON:

"I've never met a dog. Friend of mine has a cat, though, and I like her well enough, so that's one-zero in cats' favor."

"I like 'em both. Hunters and survivors, in their own ways."

▪ DREAM TRIP:

"Somewhere with a lotta trees. Grew up in the concrete jungle - a little more green'd be nice, y'know?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't mind visiting Ukraine. I don't know how much green is left, though - anywhere."

▪ NUMBER OF BLANKETS THEY SLEEP WITH:

"Two, so we each have our own and nobody's stealing it - baby, what are you doing?"

"Fuuuuuuuuck! My fuckin' fries are cold. 'Cause I've been sittin' here answering stupid questions. Are we done now?"

"We're done now."

▪ RANDOM FACT:

"I'm fucking hungry and now I gotta eat cold fries, that's a fact for you."

#sanctuary #joey #long post

[valeskafics]

Headcanons for Christmas with Modern Aegon, Aemond, and Jace

hope you like these guys!!! in case you can't tell I can't wait for Christmas 😩 there is no reference to religious traditions, only the commercialized ones so hopefully everyone can find this enjoyable ❤️

Jace

-let me tell you this boy LIVESSSS for Christmas traditions

-egg nog? yes, sledding in the snow? 100%, Christmas caroling? he sucks at it but absolutelyyyyyy

-y'all try to make your own candy canes like you did with caramel apples at halloween and they TURN OUT SO BADDD omg

-making gingerbread houses together, he makes little gingerbread people that look like both of you :')

-ALL THE SNOWBALL FIGHTS he loves them!!! but his fave part is when you guys are cuddled up on the couch afterwards, shivering and drinking hot chocolate by a warm fire ❤️

-is OBSESSED with Christmas movies. he will insist y'all watch every one. grinch, the santa clause, home alone, but elf is his absolute favorite and he can quote the entire script by heart

-whenever you're even slightly cranky, he'll whisper "she must be a South Pole elf"

-it's his job to put the star at the top of the tree and if you take this away from him he WILL sulk like a baby, don't do that to him pls he wants to feel needed and appreciated

-you guys decide in advance Christmas morning will be with his family and Christmas evening with yours

-buys you matching ugly sweaters to wear Christmas Day when you visit your families

-daemon and nyra have a place set for you at the table and all of the younger siblings are excited to see you again!!!!

-y'all exchange gifts there before heading to dinner with your family

-when you two take a walk outside in the snow after dinner, you lie down and start making snow Angels and he turns to look at you, the snowflakes getting caught in your eyelashes while you smile at him like this radiant deity and he wonders how in the world he got so lucky

Aegon

-now y'all knowwwwww this man's fave Christmas tradition is mistletoe it is hidden all over y'all's apartment so he can have an excuse to kiss you whenever he wants

-he loves watching Christmas movies with you too but more of the raunchy comedies like bad santa, the night before, jingle all the way, deck the halls etc

-insists die hard is a Christmas movie

-butttt he also loves the cheesy Netflix ones like a Christmas prince, all the Vanessa Hudgens ones, etc but if you tell a single soul he will deny the fuck out of it

-definitely bought you a sexy santa lingerie set and will understand if you don't wear it but will literally die of happiness if you do

-he always hated sending Christmas cards, posing all stuffy and formal with his family, but for some reason? he really wants to do one with you and his dog sunfyre

-you guys put a Santa hat on sunfyre and take the cutest pictures, sending them to all your friends and family, everyone loves it!! and he prints a wallet sized one to keep with him at all times, he adores it so much

-christmas dinner is with your family and again, he feels soooo loved when he is included in all your traditions - there are presents for him under the tree for him, a Christmas cracker just for him, EVEN A STOCKING WITH HIS NAME HAND EMBROIDERED BY YOUR MOM

-he has never told anyone he's dated that he loves them, never. not in his life. but Christmas night? when you two are snuggled up by the fire and everyone has gone to sleep? he whispers how much he loves and adores you, kisses you softly, and falls asleep in your arms

Aemond

-he's that bitch who points out that the way we celebrate Christmas today is actually based on pagan traditions and there is no way that if Jesus was real and born in a manger in the middle of DECEMBER he could not have survived and Dec 25 was randomly chosen due to its proximity to the winter solstice (aemond is high key agnostic lbr)

-you look at him like he's grown a third head "baby I just asked if you wanted to watch 'the santa clause' tonight"

-after the shitty way his dad treated you at thanksgiving, he wants to pamper you and takes you to New York City for a Christmas/New Years getaway after you watch "home alone" and say how fun Christmas in NYC must be

-y'all get a room at the plaza and do a limo tour around the city (complete with a lovely cheese pizza just for you if ykyk)

-you take a picture together on the footsteps of the met and caption it "spotted: mysterious a and y/I on the footsteps of the met, xoxo gossip girl" and it high key is your most liked picture ever

-Christmas Eve y'all are ice skating at Rockefeller center omggggg he is so nervous because he's worried with only having the use of one eye something may happen and one of you might get hurt, but you guys stay near the edges of the rink where there are less people and hold hands the hold time and it's the cutest fcking thing anyone on this planet has ever seen OKAY

-after ice skating you go to the top of the rock and are the last people to leave - so many kisses as you gaze out at the city together

-Christmas Day? he has the perfect day planned out, a horse drawn carriage in Central Park, dinner at The Plaza, and finally, catching your favorite Broadway show together

-you tell him this was amazing but wasn't necessary, that you would've been happy watching "nightmare before Christmas" back in your apartment, anything as long as you're with him

-he falls in love with you even more deeply that Christmas, knowing in his heart that you are the one he wants to spend his life with

#jace velaryon x reader #jacaerys velaryon #jace velaryon #jacaerys velaryon x reader #jacaerys x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii #aegon ii x reader #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen #house of the dragon fic #hotd x reader #hotd fic #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd headcanon #modern hotd

[elegantwoes]

sansa stans steal everything from other characters/relationships. 'the queen we chose line', dany's dragons, arya's wolf, good queen alysanne, gendry. jonsas steal the 'what do you know of my heart/sister' line from jon and arya, and most recently i've seen them steal the bear and the maiden fair song from braimes. your fave is so boring and dull you have to steal stuff to make her more interesting and unique. she is the most boring character in asoiaf deal with it.

I specifically asked you to provide sources we actually 'stole' those things too, because half of these are outlandish as fuck. I will only address the ones that do have some merit: The Alysanne one.

Anyone who has a basic understanding of English history knows that Queen Alysanne is based off of Eleanor of Aquitane. GRRM flat out said he based Alysanne on Katherine Hepburn's version of Eleanor in the lion in Winter (1968) movie. However this isn't the only time GRRM spoke about Eleanor of Aquitane:

However, with Catelyn there is something reset for the Eleanor of Aquitaine, the figure of the woman who accepted her role and functions with a narrow society and, nonetheless, achieves considerable influence and power and authority despite accepting the risks and limitations of this society.  (x)

The first character GRRM compares Eleanor to is Catelyn and calls them both baddass. Secondly he describes Eleanor as 'the woman who accepted her role and functions with a narrow society'. GRRM describes a type of female character that conforms to societal expectation of womanhood in a feudalistic society and Sansa squarely falls under that category..

Also while Sansa hasn't 'achieved considerable influence and power and authority despite accepting the risks and limitations of this society' just yet we can clearly see that Sansa will go down that route. Anyone who analyses Sansa's narrative arc in good faith knows she will hold a political position by the end of ASOIAF. The fandom has unamiously agreed to this. The only ones who vehemently deny this are antis.

So since Sansa is so extemely similar to Eleanor of Aquitane it naturally makes sense that she is similar to Alysanne as well, but that isn't the correct way to describe this.

It's Alysanne who is similar to Sansa. She is created in Sansa's and Catelyn's image and not the other way around. After all they are the major POV characters with lots of chapters. Alysanne is only a historical figure in Westeros who is only mentioned in one book whereas Sansa is a character who will shape the future.

And this is only aspect to Sansa Stark as a character. There's also her biggest storyline that is related to songs and truths, her identity and autonomy arc, how she is deconstructing and reconstructing what it means to be a true lady (a fine counterpart to her true knight), her romantic storyline is another.

These are all storylines that only belongs to Sansa and aren't stolen from anyone. So you were saying, anon?

#answered #Sansa Stark #Catelyn Stark #because she is mentioned

[polyermis]

❝The First Snow within the Teyvat❞

Author: Polyermis 

◈Aether X Reader X Abyss!Lumine 

◈Reader: Female 

◈Characters: 

⇲Aether

⇲Abyss!Lumine 

◈Word Count: 0.9k 

◈Warnings: 

⇲Outdoor/Public Sex

⇲Cult AU

⇲WLW 

⇲Kissing

⇲Oral [F receiving]

⇲Fingering [F receiving]

◈Prompt: 

⇲It's the first snow and the Princess of the Abyss appears 

◈Notes: 

⇲Please Enjoy! Male Version Later

⇲There is no incest of any sort. The siblings DO NOT romantically nor sexually engage with each other 

She will bend her rules for this special occasion. 

Her feet dangle as she sits within the hand of the Ruin Guard, feeling the machine sway with each step, listening to the gears turn, as the earth seems to bounce under each step. She pays no mind to him, the white cloak draped over her shoulders. The air cold, making her cheeks light pink. Her hands gently hold on to the wooden box, her gaze on the Horizon as they neared Stormbearer Point. There, you and her twin would meet her.

She vowed not to see her brother again, not for a while. 

Her grip tightens as you sit within on a blanket, a thick cloak draped over your shoulders, a headband covering your ears and forehead. You hold a cup that steam admits from and Aether sits beside you, as Paimon rambles about facts on the month of winter. The Ruin Guard stops several feet away and gently places Lumine down. Not bothering to thank the machine, her body moved on her own. 

But you, you’re more important than her plans. 

Aether is the first to notice and rises to his feet, Paimon following his gaze before you look. Her heart stops as she stares, the wooden box keeping her grounded. She feels weak but forces herself forward. Watching you stand to your feet and say something to Paimon. She seems to disagree before floating off. 

You turn back to her, smiling, and once she moves closer, she can hear you. She hears her name leave your lips and her breath gets stuck. “... Y/N...” It comes out breathless. Standing five feet away, Aether stares at her with a knowing look, holding onto your hand. “You came...” You smile as she nods, Aether speaking up next. “I didn’t think the Abyss Mage would actually listen.” 

“Anything having to do with you Y/N... I—I told them to tell me...”

 “I- I’m glad.” Her face flushed red, and she takes another step forward. 4 feet apart. Burning your image into memory. The last time she saw you, you were within Aether, in all the same pleading for her to return so that they could leave together.

 “I have traveled to Inazuma...” Your voice is quiet as you share your journey, sitting in between the two twins. Sharing your thoughts and moments, you found funniest whilst using your other vessels. They both listen intently, inching closer and closer to you as the sun begins to set and dark clouds cover the skies. 

“You’ve been holding that box the entire time. Is it important?” Your gaze turns to the box in Lumine’s lap as Aether pointed it out. “Ah...” She slowly opens the box, a soft melody filling the air as three shooting stars circle each other, two gold and [Your/Fave/Color]. 

Snow softly fell from the sky as the moon peeked through the clouds. “It’s a gift for you. Y/N...” she murmurs. Sliding the box into your lap, watching you stare at the box with loved filled eyes. “Lumine... You didn’t have to....” Her hands, entwines with yours, kissing the back of it softly.

 “I--” Your words fall flat, as Aether lifted your other hand, nipping the back of it, before placing a gentle kiss. Now decorates the landscape and melts the moment it hits your hot skin. It’s only snow, but a promise has been frozen in time. 

“I will forever love you.”

 Lumine pulls away, slowly lowering her head down to your neck, placing a light kiss along your jaw and neck, while Aether pulled back, pressing his lips against yours, his hands sliding down to your hips, teasing rubbing up and down. 

Allow them to indulge in you. 

Her hands slide under her dress, her mouth attached to your neck, her fingers slowly rubbing against the wet spot of her panties. “Y/N... I'd do anything for you...” Her hot breath fanned your neck, as she let out a breath cry of your name as she pulled aside her panties, slowly using her index and middle finger to slide up and down her folds, her head dropping onto your shoulder, as Aether’s grip on you tightened, pulling away with a heavy exhale, before moving his position. His hands slide down and unbutton your pants, sliding them downward. 

“Please—Please kiss me.” Lumine turns your face to her, pressing her lips against hers as she grinds into her palm. You’re so sweet. Your hips buckle as a muffled cry leaves your lips as Aether without care dives into your cunt, his hands holding your wiggling hips still as his tongue ran along your folds, his gold eyes staring up at you. 

Feeling the knot tighten, Aether pushes himself to please you and only you. You’re their God, the only God they trust, respect, love, want, and need. It can only be you, and Lumine reinforces that idea. No one shall talk badly of you within the Abyss, as she cums to you and only you. As Aether satisfies his own hungry, til the knot comes undone and you enter a state of eternal bliss. Cries meddling together and the world seems hazy. 

You collapse into Lumine’s embrace, as Aether pulls away, juices decorating the bottom half of his face. “It must’ve been a lot Y/N...” Lumine’s voice is soft but playful as she holds you. 

“Her form is yet to be complete...” Aether readjusts your clothing and himself, using the back of his hand to wipe away the mess around his mouth. 

“A test drive...” she mumbles playfully and giggles, kissing your cheek lovingly. The world seems like it’s paused, only the moon and snow, and two twins from a different world. 

©Polyermis 2021. Do not copy, modify, use without permission, or otherwise plagiarize in any way. 

#Librarian’s.Restricted Section #aether smut #genshin impact #genshin impact dark content #yandere genshin impact #dark content #genshin self aware au #anemo traveler #yandere lumine x reader #abyss lumine x reader #abyss lumine #lumine x reader #yandere aether x reader #genshin cult au #genshin smut #aether x reader smut #lumine x reader smut #female reader #dark content genshin #lumine smut #x female reader #female reader smut

[dangermousie]

Do you like your men to have private armies but prefer access to antibiotics? Come right on in...

Watching the delicious trashiness of Maid’s Revenge has inspired me to make a listing of my favorite (and not so favorite) warlord and warlord adjacent cdramas. If like me, you like your male leads with polished boots and a side of murder, come right in. From most to least fave.

Siege in Fog

My most favorite on this list, this is visually gorgeous and emotionally visceral. Plus, it’s not just ONE warlord, it’s a whole family of them! It follows a deeply dysfunctional marriage between a beautiful woman and a warlord’s second son, where they fight and angst and love and fight some more, all the while bullets are flying and bodies are piling up. If you like incredible visuals, insane chemistry, dysfunction by the bucket and not one, not two, but THREE hot warlords, come right in. It’s based on a Fei Wo Si Cun novel so I assume you know you need a lot of tissues.

To sum up:

Too Late to Say I Love You

Another FWSC adaptation! This is an older drama, done long before cdrama’s recent unwelcome slide into wholesomeness, which means epic makeouts but also a warlord that revels in murder (at one point he takes out all his potential rivals, including his loved sister’s entire fam.) The OTP is dysfunctional - they hate, then they love, then they break up but he can’t let go - and the chemistry is beyond insane, with Wallace Chung and Li Xiao Ran melting my computer. Also, for once, a happy ending!

Winter Begonia

Probably the only genuine masterpiece on the list (tho I love FWSC dysfunction best for purely personal reasons), this is a MM story (though being cdrama it’s not explicit, though quite clear) and Huang Xiaoming as a trader with a private army and Yin Zheng as an opera singer with whom he forms a bond are both!!! I highly recommend it.

City of Streamer

Should be called “City of Steamer” because those make-outs and chemistry are epic! Timmy Xu is a son of a shady businessmen (with a small army of gun happy goons) who falls hopelessly in love with an older governess (Jing Tian) who is out for revenge on his family. She starts out using him and ends up using him in a different sense, if you know what I mean! The plot derails a bit by the end but it’s still a great watch.

PS...

Maid’s Revenge

I am watching it right now. At only 10 minutes per ep, it skips plot and gives us the melo and chemistry we (and I mean I) crave and a guy whose muscles should be in a museum.

The Lady and the Liar

Hawick Lau is the ML and we all know this means “hot bastard.” He’s a crime lord with a goon squad falling for a lost heiress who loses her memory so he lies she’s his fiancee and deliciousness ensues. MMMMM

Arsenal Military Academy

Xu Kai is warlord jr but this is here mainly because of his awesome brother the businessman with murder squad. The drama is so-so (patriotism overtakes the amazing chemistry between Bai Lu and Xu Kai) but might be worth a peek.

Cruel Romance

(Can you say no to this face?)

Joey Chen has never worked in anything for me and this is no exception, but Huang Xiao Ming is dashing as hell as a sexy gangster.

Love In The Flames of War

The heroine is terrible (I kept rooting for her to get accidentally shrapnelled) but Shawn Dou is sexy as hell as a warlord. (In the novel he was apparently a rapey headcase; they made him lovely in the drama without making his wife saner which is...a choice.) I’d say worth it on FF for hotness and whippings.

The Mystic Nine

I tried. I tried to watch this drama three times. I could not. But William Chan as a warlord in a three-piece suit and cape is mega mega fine!

I suffer so you won’t have to:

Fall In Love

The worst drama on this list, insulting to intelligence of anyone above pre-school level, 90% of the cast, including the leading lady, incapable of acting, a plot that makes a picture book seem complex and fashion disasters galore. However, Chen Xing Xu, playing the smirky warlord, carries this mess harder than Atlas and deserves to be in another, better drama altogether. Oh, what wouldn’t I give for him as a proper FWSC warlord!

Honorable Mention:  Forward Forever - haven’t watched that one but keep meaning to.

#cdrama #fall in love #siege in fog #winter begonia #love in flames of war #forward forever #the mystic nine #cruel romance #the lady and the liar #city of streamer #maid's revenge #too late to say i love you #arsenal military academy

[the-heartstring-chronicles]

For @para-amour and any others looking for P/C fic recs

These are some of my fave fics and authors so far:

Spontaneity by theramblinrose, I love babyfic and this story Spontaneity has one of the most loving and in character birth scenes of a P/C child where they are both present that I've seen to date in fic. You can find it linked below.

Spontaneity by theramblinrose

Then there is Cave Baby by Mighty_Oak_Roots. Basically Beverly watching "her friend and captain" Jean Luc handling an infant in an emergency situation and enjoying both his discomfort and his caring nature towards the baby in equal measure, with some longing for what could be and a cute last scene that definitely is romantic and potential family P/C. It can be accessed at the link below.

Cave Baby by Mighty_Oak_Roots

Now for two novel length fics

I loved Snow Falling Softly by Mackillian. I read it last year and was invested from the start. Without giving too much away, if one likes the plot we have this season with Jack, this is similar but on an extra intense level in terms of emotion, complexity and dynamics. It's set during TNG and It also allows Wesley to react to the storyline and process his own emotions about not being an only child and the circumstances! Highly recommend. It is however over 500 or so pages when downloaded as an epub, so even online, it is an all weekend read, at least. Link is below.

Snow Falling Softly by Mackillian

I had barely started In The Depth of Winter by Mackillian last year when I got pulled away by stuff in another fandom. It is the sequel to Snow Falling Softly. It redoes All Good Things in a way that centers the fallout from Snow Falling Softly. It seems just as good so I am looking forward to finishing it. It is 700 pages in epub though so it may need two full weekends to read. Link can be found below

The Depth of Winter by Mackillian

I am also including this single chapter vignette In Paradisum by Mackillian because it is the sequel to The Depth of Winter. I have not read it yet but skimmed the first few lines and the writing seems on par with the two novels. You need to read them to understand this piece. Link to In Paradisum ready below

In Paradisum by Mackillian

Now for authors from whom I recommend reading everything they've written for the pairing:

I am absolutely loving everything I've read so far written for P/C by pktechgirlus. The style is spot on and very emotional while also at times being humorous and steamy. My favorite so far from this author is the story "Never And Always" but all I've read so far are incredible. Some are semi explicit, some are not (Warning, not all end happily) Here is the link to the author's TNG fics,

pktechgirlus's TNG Fics for P/C

There is also one for them from the Picard era which I love too, you can find that below

Vignette by pktechgirlus

And finally, the author I feel has the most solid, in character grasp on P/C in totality. @ussjellyfish. I adore reading their work because they understand the multi facets and deep humanity that is at the core of P/C. They can both perfectly write P/C playing on the holodeck, or saving each other from certain death even by committing violence in defense of the other or breaking laws/oaths. They keep P/C's love paramount, but also allow for mistakes to be made by each and vulnerability to be shown. Even the way they write physical intimacy between P/C feels like P/C and not "insert couple here" and I usually skip sex scenes now because I've been in so many fandoms that reading those scenes are a dime a dozen , but not those written by USSJellyfish, they actually make me care about seeing these characters enjoy each other.

They have both long novel length fics for P/C that are part of a series. and shorter one shot pieces.

The novel series starts with the fic Fair Trade and is several novel length fics long. I haven't finished the entire series yet but I am enthralled by what I have finished of it.

And some of my favorite shorter fics of theirs for P/C are Kindling and Lifeline, both are hurt/comfort fics of a sort. Kindling is explicit.

As I said though, I recommend reading all of their fics for P/C so I am putting a link that leads to all of their P/C fic below.

USSJellyfish's P/C Fics

(They also write Beverly/Kathryn fic, Beverly/Deanna fic, Riker/ Beverly fic, and other pairings on TNG, Fic for several parings on Discovery, and for several on Voyager including Chakotay/Paris and J/C. so much to read!)

Happy reading everyone, I hope this list was helpful!

#picard x crusher #jean luc picard #beverly crusher #fanfiction #fanfic #fic recs