I know I haven’t posted in a while but, hello everyone and I can say is this.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! This comes out of no where but, I’m happy. I’m so f*ck happy now! Fall guys Season 3 have added the great thing that I wanted is an Ultraman outfit!
I’m really an extremely happy to grind to get this outfit but, the big question is. Can we get Ultraman as a skin in Fortnite? I hope so
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so i spun out and hit a tree on the way to work in the beginnings of the snowstorm this last week. even the cheapest replacement hatch is going to cost me $375, and a new taillight $150. i haven't got a quote for how much it'll cost to smooth out the frame, or any of the labor. for the last 3 years i've been trying to save up to move me and my 2 disabled siblings out of such an extreme rural area to a place with even a little more transportation security for this reason alone, as well as the level of isolation i'm forced to experience socially as a closeted trans person in the middle of trump country. i'd already more than halved those savings just to get a deal on this car last fall to have a more reliable vehicle for a move.
my mom has offered to help pay what she can, but she's not exactly rolling in cash either, so i thought i'd throw this into the ether. if you're in a tough spot yourself as so many of us are, please keep your money, but if you have some extra cash, any dollar will help.
p*ypal
c*shapp is $foolshope
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With the character of Debling getting promo, this is so not the season of Polin I was expecting. He is obviously a bigger player in the show than i thought he'd be, even if it's just the first half. I think while I'll remain spoiled, I'm gonna wait to watch the show in full in June. I really don't need to watch another love triangle and then wait a month for the fallout and the actual love story of Polin. And I'm certainly not interested in Debling at all. Good guy, bad guy? Who cares.
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@allvalley100
Prompt: Snake Oil
Pairing: Hawkmetri
Inspired by this shitpost I made forever ago XD You really can have SO much fun with the mlm abbreviation.
This is a 5-parter--500 words total!
***
“Uh…Demetri?”
Demetri pauses frantic texting. His coworker’s leaning on his cubicle wall, frowning.
“I’m on lunch, Gary.”
“I know.” Gary chuckles. “And you’ve spent it glued to your phone instead of devouring your shawarma.”
“Right, uh. Trying to get an old friend out of this MLM…situation.”
“Oh?” Gary’s frown returns.
“We haven’t talked in forever, but…I worry about him. Don’t want him mixed up in that sort of…depraved lifestyle.”
“I see.”
Gary now seems more concerned. Demetri laughs awkwardly, trying to ease the tension. “Pyramid schemes, am I right?”
“Oh, multi-level marketing!” Finally, Gary relaxes. “Thought you were being homophobic.”
*
“He’s always been impressionable. Got brainwashed by this karate cult when we were teenagers, cut me off because I said they were sketchy.”
“He what now?” Gary’s eyes widen.
“Don’t worry about it. Point is, he gets really into questionable stuff, and…he hasn’t listened to me in years.”
A pause.
“Some mean girl from junior high messaged my wife, selling Speed-Gro hair enhancer shampoo,” Gary muses. “Lady sounded pitiful. My wife vowed to free her…even if she did steal her boyfriend in 8th grade.”
Demetri brightens. “Did it work?”
“Probably not a catch-all, but…show me the conversation. We can try.”
*
5:20 p.m.
Hawk: Don’t ever speak to me again, or I’ll END you. Go rot in your basement playing nerd bullshit, bitch.
7:47 p.m.
Demetri: Fine. Goodbye, Eli.
✔✔ Seen 9:53 p.m., September 24, 2018 ✔✔
-----------------------------------------------
March 17, 2030
7:26 a.m.
Hawk: Hey man!! Selling Kickass Karate™️ equipment—gloves, pads, nunchucks…anything!!! INCREDIBLE prices. New discounts, too!
9:41 a.m.
Demetri: Hawk! It’s been too long! Why not discuss these awesome deals further over coffee? I’ll pay. You’re giving me your time AND a great opportunity!
9:50 a.m.
Hawk: …like a date?
10:02 a.m.
Demetri: No, no, strictly business :) Pick you up tomorrow?
*
Eli’s surprisingly pleasant on their da—er, business outing. 0 mentions of Cobra Kai.
Instead, he waxes poetic about working for Kickass Karate™️, and how they’re “totally hiring right now!” He barely notices them parking at Demetri’s apartment because Demetri “forgot his gift card.”
~~~
“The fuck? I’m not getting free coffee?!”
Traces of “Hawk” emerge when Eli finds himself locked in. Demetri accounted for this.
He thrusts a macchiato at Eli as the lights dim. “Ordered them earlier. Hope that’s still your favorite.”
A PowerPoint opener illuminates the TV.
“Demetri’s incredibly badass guide: Besting the dumb pussies scamming you.”
*
“You’ve looked better.” On Wednesday morning, Gary does a double take. “What were you doing with that PTO?!”
Demetri grins meekly, dabbing antiseptic across assorted cuts and bruises. “Eli finally listened about the pyramid scheme thing. He wanted to deal with it immediately.”
“You two…” Gary’s eyes widen. “You fought the guys scamming him? Is that even legal?!”
“Probably not.” Demetri shrugs. “But neither’s most MLM stuff, so…”
“Not true.” Gary smirks. “Not since Obergefell v. Hodges.”
“…fair point.”
“Is that why you have this Eli character openly saved in your phone as ‘Babygirl?’”
Demetri’s cheeks burn. “That’s not important!”
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