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#falling apart

You know when you think you’re doing better, but then suddenly it’s like you’re back at square one trying to survive the minutes and it feels like the end of the world because you feel like you’ll never get better and find stability in yourself


I hate myself and don’t want to be here anymore

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Most people, when they feel the weight of a thousand tears, cuts and lead-bags of guilt tug their heart into the darkness-

They want nothing more then just someone, and generally they want that someone holding them.

Me?

I want that someone to hold.

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Already wrote and posted two chapters to my new story today…and I’m still aching to write more??

It’s kind of refreshing to write about such dark and personal subjects…ive been occupied with happy go lucky stories so far and I think I needed the change of pace.

If you are wondering what story I’m talking about, It’s called Falling Apart.

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i am on the floor, i’m in a strangers bed. i am wanting for more, i’m caught up in my head. i’m under the shower as i let my thoughts devour - all that i remember of you. begging and pleading haven’t gotten me far yet. i don’t when we lost it. just tell me and be honest: what has love made of me?

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image

Originally posted by elentori-art

I never felt so uneasy to do normal tasks than I did yesterday. Maybe it’s just the thought of this whole virus thing. I mean granted it hasn’t changed any aspect of my life, I’m an essential worker (petrol attendant) so I still have to work. There is jus something unsettling about needed to work/go to the shops that just threw me out of whack completely. So I went home as fast as I could and decided to sleep for a while - something I haven’t done in a month or so. Let’s hope it’s not me getting worse again.

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