#falling apart zine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

olderthannetfic · 6 months

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You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

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mlbigbang · 4 months

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2023 Marichat & Ladrien Fic Rec List

It’s the end of the year which means it’s finally time for the ML Big Bang’s yearly fic rec lists! We’re really excited to bring you our contributors’ favourite fics started this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you’re waiting for the Big Bang fics’ publication in January.

Boulangérella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

It's a creative Cendrillon retelling with the kwamis as fay, Adrien as the kingdom's prince and most wanted thief, and Marinette as the seamstess and superhero partner stealing Adrien's heart twice over.

Scary, like a little black purring kitten by @h-sunnywet-d

The calendar just turned into October, and Chat Noir has to make sure that his Good Friend Marinette appreciates the new season wholeheartadly. It sure won't backfire on the long run.

Just An Ordinary Girl by @kasienda

Chat Noir and the other heroes are in a bit of trouble, and Ladybug wanted just one weekend off! But luckily they know someone who can help. Someone who is just an ordinary girl…

you will never sleep alone (i'll love you) by @ladyofthenoodle

Marinette had saved up for months to be able to afford this vacation. Not only that, but she’d spent months trying to convince herself that it was okay to even take a vacation, that Monarch was really and truly gone. Which was why Tikki was at home with Alya, so that Marinette could actually relax and enjoy the plush amenities the hotel had to offer, such as a bed that looked like it cost five times her monthly salary. Or, she would be able to enjoy it, if she wasn’t standing in the middle of the villa she’d booked over a month ago, fighting for the bed with freaking Chat Noir, of all people.

May I introduce myself, Your Highness? by @chocoluckchipz

Whether picking up a stray animal off the streets or saving a dying child at the market, Adrien had always strived to be the best version of himself. Truly, he would've been the perfect candidate to be snatched up by a kwami, were he an orphan, dying somewhere remote after a short life full of nothing but suffering and misery. Yet as it stood, the sole heir to the French throne had little to complain about. Apart from, perhaps, a complete absence of a love life. That is until a mysterious girl, wandering around his gardens at night, catches his attention.

This fic has it all - Ladrien, royalty, fairy tale elements, magic and disguises! It's an enthralling read and one of my absolute favorite fics from 2023.

The Perfect Date by @peachcitt

“I dare you to ask this special someone on the date you just described.” “I totally will,” Adrien says with confidence, looking into the camera and nodding resolutely. “Scout’s honor.” He holds up the kitten as if swearing an oath. There is a space of silence. “Right now,” Hanna says. Adrien stares at her. “I’m daring you to ask that person out right now,” she says. or adrien has a little slip up during a live interview, and ladybug hears. for the golden hour zine!!

reserved by @luckyyoyo

“Don’t you think,” he coughed, a blush creeping up his cheeks, “this kind of thing should be.. reserved for my girlfriend?” He gestured to their poses. A squeak came from her mouth and her knees buckled, but surprisingly still had no struggle keeping Adrien up. “You know, you could always be my girlfriend.” Ladybug, saviour of Paris and local damsel-in-distress Adrien Agreste, suggests he gets a fake girlfriend to ward off his zombie fans. While lovingly holding him in her arms, of course. Adrien, far too comfortable in her arms, suggests it could be her. Introducing your superheroine pretend-girlfriend to your strict, uninterested father is a bit harder than Adrien realises.

Displaced by @kasienda

Adrien loosened his tie and dropped his suit jacket unceremoniously across the back of the sofa that was already cluttered with unopened boxes, mail, and unfolded laundry. He really should have listened to Nino and hired a maid or cleaning person of some sort. But well, he still had a secret to keep, and keeping that secret was more important to him than ever. He moved to his bedroom on autopilot without turning on the light, intending to collapse into bed immediately. But when he tried to slip into his space, he found it was already occupied. He flipped his phone flashlight on towards the ceiling to light the room in a soft glow. In his wife’s place, Ladybug lay sprawled diagonally across the bed.

here comes the rush before we touch (come a little closer) by @ladyofthenoodle

When an akuma attacks during Adrien Agreste's beach themed photoshoot on a dreary day in Paris, Ladybug is on the scene immediately. Unfortunately, with a glimpse of Adrien's alluring abdomen and without her partner, it's not long before she's hit, and Adrien with her—but maybe Ladybug can afford a little vacation with the boy she loves. He's certainly not complaining.

On Borrowed Time by @miabrown007

The life of Paris’ Golden Boy is all shine and glamour; blindingly bright smiles, neverending parties, bargaining for just a shard of time for being happy. But that’s alright; Adrien has long given up the false hope that someone will get it. That is precisely why it’s a spectacle when she does, when she barges in like a hurricane in crimson and turns his life upside down. Heaven knows, it’s time for the wind of change.

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marichat #ladrien #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #love square #ml big bang #ml big bang 2023 #fic recs #ml fic recs

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riotwritesthings · 3 months

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Unrequited Dreams

WinterIron, M, 3.5k - Soulmate AU, Angst, hopeful ending

I can finally share my piece from the Reforged WinterIron Zine! I'm so excited, I'd had the idea for this fic for years and it was delightful to finally bring it to life. And now I get to share!

Thank you to all the mods over at @reforgedzine for making this happen!

~~~

The night before his thirteenth birthday Bucky is so excited he can barely fall asleep, because he’s going to have his first dream about his soulmate.

The anticipation has been building for weeks, for years; his family has taken to fondly rolling their eyes because Bucky can't talk about anything else. He can’t wait to find out something, anything about his soulmate, about how they'll meet for the first time. He can't wait to start trying to make sense of the hazy details the dream will leave him with.

In the morning, Bucky wakes up sobbing, because now he knows that his soulmate is gorgeous and graceful. That knowledge is crystal clear even if few other details are.

And now, Bucky knows that he's going to put a gun in his soulmate's face and pull the trigger.

Thirteen year old Tony wakes up feeling cold and hollow except for a sharp ache settling deep in his chest.

Apparently, it was stupid to be excited, just like Howard always said. Because now he knows that their first meeting involves his soulmate pushing him away.

Literally.

Tony knows that dreams are funny things. He read all about soulmate dreams and how easy it is to misinterpret them, how they tend to exaggerate, back when he was dumb enough to look forward to them. But he would swear that the shove felt hard enough to knock the air from his lungs, felt strong enough to throw him clear across the room.

The ache in his chest lingers the entire day, and every morning that he wakes up from the same dream, the pain is agonizingly fresh, digging a little deeper.

So Tony grows up and learns how to push people away first. He tells himself that when he meets his soulmate, he’ll be ready.

Bucky never tells anyone about the dream, even when his parents give him concerned looks. Eventually people stop asking.

Every time he has the dream, Bucky remembers a little more. His soulmate is dressed in mostly black, moving gracefully and carelessly through a room in chaos. His soulmate has gorgeous eyes and a wicked, beautiful smirk.

Every time, Bucky shoots his soulmate in the face and wakes up nauseous.

At least when he joins the army, no one else talks about their dreams either. Most nights, Bucky is too exhausted to dream at all, and it’s almost a relief when nightmares start to overtake the few times that he does.

Most nights, Tony drinks until he falls into a short, restless sleep, just to avoid the one dream he doesn't want to have.

He doesn’t want to see his soulmate’s cold, emotionless eyes. He doesn’t want the all-too-brief feeling of his soulmate's hand beneath his own before he's shoved away.

When Tony does dream, it’s of clenched fists, feeling frustrated, helpless. Feeling like his entire life is falling apart around him, and it’s all so stupid.

So he refuses to figure out any other details because he’s already going to have to live through it at some point. He doesn't want to know if that fleeting contact of hand against hand is a first meeting, doesn’t bother trying to remember anything about the large, bright room the dream takes place in or the people around them. He doesn’t care if it's a charity gala or something else. None of it matters.

Tony wakes up and drinks more.

He builds and smiles for the press. He does his best to not lose the few people he has, and tells himself that he won’t care when his soulmate doesn’t want him.

Sometimes he even believes it.

The Winter Soldier doesn’t dream at all.

Not during the short, fitful sleep he gets on missions. Certainly not while he’s frozen.

He forgets.

When the moment finally happens in real life, they don’t recognize it.

Bucky isn't in his right mind. He’s barely clinging to awareness past the hold of the conditioning in a room in chaos. He doesn't recognize the graceful motions of the gorgeous man who jumps into the fight, or the moment he points his gun in the man's face.

The bullet doesn't connect, and when Tony doesn't die, the Winter Soldier rips his hand away from Tony’s, shoves him across the room and knocks the air out of his lungs.

Tony isn’t thinking about the brief contact of his hand on Barnes’ over the barrel of a gun, of Barnes’ hand splayed across his chest. He’s thinking about the fact that his life is falling apart, and that he needs to stop a rampaging Winter Soldier. He doesn’t have time to think about the splinter itching at the back of his mind.

They don’t even notice when they stop having the dreams, after that moment.

Tony is alone in his workshop, in the too-empty compound, when it hits him that he doesn’t even remember the last time he dreamt of his soulmate.

It’s not just because he barely sleeps, not just because when he does dream it’s of his friends falling from the sky, of cities and worlds crashing to the ground. He’s spent so much time trying to ignore the dream, apparently he’s even been ignoring the fact that it’s gone.

It’s a stupid thing to be upset about.

Tony has always known how they would feel about him, known they wouldn’t want anything to do with him, but he still has to sit on the cold tile floor as his legs give out. He blinks back tears, wondering how far he must have fallen, if he doesn’t even deserve a soulmate who pushes him away anymore, doesn’t deserve anyone.

He wonders if his soulmate dreams about someone else now.

Bucky is in Wakanda, trying to find peace, when a doctor asks about the dream.

For a second Bucky doesn’t remember. And then he does. And he can’t breathe.

He doesn’t dream much anymore. When he does, it’s always nightmares. He hasn’t dreamt of his soulmate since before the war.

Before the Soldier.

And Bucky realizes he’s probably already killed his soulmate, and doesn’t even remember it. Everything goes fuzzy.

No one asks about the dreams again. Bucky has so many regrets to move past, he just shoves this one down with all the others. His soulmate is probably long gone. There’s no need to think about it.

So, he tries not to.

Having everyone back at the compound is exactly as awkward-as-hell as Tony thought it would be. It only makes him feel a little better that he’s clearly not the only one feeling it.

The reasoning is sound, the threat is coming, but that doesn’t mean Tony has to be happy about it.

But he smiles, shakes hands when he has to, and reminds himself this is for the best. He can bury his hurt feelings for the good of the world. He can be an adult, pretend everything is fine. He shows everyone to the residential wing, despite most of them already knowing their way around, and doesn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he says to make themselves at home.

Slowly, they start putting the team back together. There’s lots of talks about trust and honesty that feel hollow and stilted, but Tony supposes it’s progress.

They still work well together in the field, but that was never the Avengers’ problem.

Around the compound, though, the split remains obvious. Everyone seems torn between walking on eggshells and the urge to act like nothing’s changed even though it has, Tony among them.

The different sides of the war still give each other wide berths in the hallways, and Steve still stands protectively between Tony and his shadow of a best friend when they happen to run into each other in the gym.

Tony spins on his heel with a lazy wave, doesn’t even care if he’s too obvious. For just a moment, Tony’s gaze meets Barnes’ as he turns.

For just that moment, Tony finds himself caught in that deep blue stare before the doors slide closed behind him.

Bucky spends a lot of time wandering the compound.

He’s aware everyone thinks it’s a paranoid-perimeter-check thing, which it partially is. But it's also just him enjoying the novelty that he can spend his time wandering aimlessly. He can go where he wants when he wants, never has to sleep unless he chooses to.

He’s still getting used to it; remembering how to enjoy the freedom.

Which is how he runs into Stark in the kitchen at three AM, when he’s trying to outrun his nightmares. Tony is apparently making pancakes.

Bucky freezes in the doorway as they stare at each other. Just when he’s preparing to back away, Stark’s lips curl into a tiny smile. Stark tips his head towards the rest of the kitchen, obviously inviting him to stay instead. Bucky grabs an apple and sits at his usual spot at the far end of the table, trying to look comfortable, and it’s somehow easier than he’s expecting.

It’s only a couple minutes before Stark finishes making and neatly stacking his pancakes on a plate. Then he dumps everything in the dishwasher and shoots Bucky only the briefest look before leaving with his plate of food.

Bucky tells himself to avoid the kitchen around that time. He should give Stark some space, because he’s so clearly uncomfortable with everyone being back.

But two sleepless nights later, Bucky’s feet carry him on a familiar path without thought.

Stark is making waffles this time. He barely even looks up as Bucky takes up the same space at the table. Stark glances at him again as he’s preparing to leave, at the power bar Bucky’s been picking at, then transfers one waffle to a smaller plate. He sets the small plate on the table, just within Bucky’s reach. Then to Bucky’s surprise, Stark sits at the counter instead of leaving.

Bucky pulls the plate closer, and they eat in total silence. They’re not even facing each other and Bucky is actually a little relieved. He doesn’t know what to say to anyone these days, much less Stark.

It’s the first time they’ve done more than pass in the hallways, but it’s not as uncomfortable as it should be. When Tony stands to leave with a wave and a small, warm smile, Bucky finds himself disappointed.

As the weeks go by, Tony notices Barnes getting more comfortable around the compound, sometimes with Steve but most often alone.

Not that Tony lets himself wonder why he cares, why he scrolls through security feeds of the hallways like he needs to check on Barnes. It’s just morale has been slowly improving, and that’s the last bridge Tony has to mend. Or, the last bridge to build from scratch over a giant chasm, in this case.

He’s coming back late from a charity event, a little tipsy with plans to head to the lab, but gets sidetracked when he passes through the living room and realizes Barnes is on the couch watching Star Trek. Tony pauses for a second, filled with nostalgia, but he tells himself to leave Barnes to his marathon in peace.

To his surprise, Barnes looks at him with a tiny smile, unsure but devoid of suspicion or impatience. Tony sinks into an armchair, asking himself why. They proceed to watch four and a half episodes in silence.

Tony wakes up to Steve and Sam clomping through after their morning run, slumped down in the chair with a blanket carefully draped over him.

It becomes a habit, and Barnes becomes Bucky, even if they haven’t actually spoken yet.

So maybe Tony has FRIDAY alert him when Bucky is queuing up the next episode so he can head to the living room. After the first time, though, Bucky waits for him to arrive before hitting play and greets him with a smile that gets brighter every time.

Tony doesn’t let himself wonder about the why’s. Like why he spends so much time simply existing in the same room as Bucky, why that doesn’t feel awkward at all. Or why it seems to be the only thing that helps Tony ignore the empty pit in his chest.

One night, Tony realizes he hasn’t seen Bucky in a while. There’s been no marathon nights despite being due to start Next Generation. He tells himself it’s not creepy to flip through security feeds., He’s just curious how Bucky is spending his sleepless nights now.

Tony’s heart leaps into his throat when he finally locates Bucky on the roof of the hanger, standing on the ledge. He’s breathless by the time he makes it to the hangar, heart racing and legs shaking from the sprint. He doesn’t even know what he thinks is happening, except…

Bucky looks at him with wide, exhausted eyes when Tony bursts through the door, and he could swear Bucky’s shoulders drop in relief. Tony doesn’t have time to think. He just starts talking, because Bucky looks so haunted, and Tony knows a thing or two about distractions.

They’re still on the roof when the sun comes up., And Bucky has to stop pointing out all the constellations he can remember while Tony fills him in on the new star science he’s missed.

After the roof, something shifts.

Bucky can’t put his finger on exactly what it is, or even when it happens. But that one stilted conversation about the stars becomes less stilted conversations about whatever’s on TV becomes friendly debates about the merits of different toppings as they make pizza at midnight.

Before Bucky knows it, he feels like he’s home.

He finds a groove with his new life and starts branching out, starts connecting with the rest of the team. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be a person. To actually interact when he passes people in the hallway and eat with a group.

To be more than a ghost, to be part of something good.

Always though, he gravitates back to Tony. Because Tony actually makes him laugh and it fills a void in his chest Bucky has long gotten used to. Because Tony is always trying to do better and god Bucky wants to learn how.

Because when Tony’s been on an inventing binge, Bucky can trick him into taking a nap by putting on home improvement shows, and it makes Bucky feel like he’s doing something right. The team smirks when they walk in on Tony drooling on his shoulder, but it’s not like that.

He recognizes the look Steve and Natasha start to give him, smug and knowing. And fine, maybe Tony would have been exactly his type, before. But it’s not like that.

Because Bucky is the man who killed his soulmate. He doesn’t let himself think about that kind of thing.

When Bucky decides that he wants to officially join the Avengers, Tony leaps at the chance to make him new gear.

He does the same for the entire team, after all, making sure everyone’s safe. It doesn’t make Bucky special. No matter what the wide grins from Rhodey try to imply.

Tony just loves a challenge, loves the excuse to build something new. So maybe he gets more input from Bucky than anyone else, offers to help Bucky test all the gear on top of team training, but it’s not an excuse to spend more time together. He just sees what Bucky is trying to do, and he’s all too familiar with that struggle.

Despite the knowing looks from everyone, it doesn’t mean anything that he lets Bucky into the lab to see the prototypes, even if it is Tony’s only place of solitude in the compound. Even if eventually Bucky just hangs out there with him for hours.

Tony keeps telling himself it means nothing.

Watching Bucky try to teach DUM-E checkers is the final straw, though. Warmth fills Tony’s chest so fast and hard that he can’t breathe around it. And he finally admits that maybe it all means something.

But Tony is the man who doesn’t deserve a soulmate, who never even got to meet them. Who’s not sure he’d want to meet them anymore, as guilty as it makes him feel.

Maybe he can’t lie to himself anymore. Maybe he’s completely in love, but Tony knows better than to say anything.

Days spent in the lab with Tony run together in the best possible way. It’s a blur of playing with the bots, watching Tony create the future, and trying to convince him maybe the new reboots of Star Trek do have something to offer.

Bucky knows what a privilege it is to be here, to see Tony at his most relaxed and occasionally unhinged. He tries not to let it go to his head, give him ideas, even though every day he falls more in love. He’s even getting used to the pangs of guilt over the soulmate he should miss.

Until one day they’re watching a movie on the lumpy couch in Tony’s lab. When it’s revealed that Tony called the plot twist from the very beginning, he smirks at Bucky at just the right angle.

Bucky’s heart drops into the floor.

He knows that smirk. He’s seen it a thousand times in a thousand dreams, even if he hasn’t had it in years, he remembers.

And of course it’s Tony, who’s smart and gorgeous, graceful and just the right amount of wicked. Who Bucky already loves so much he can’t breathe sometimes.

Tony, who he still can’t possibly deserve.

So Bucky says nothing, as happy as he thinks he’ll ever be. Tony is here, alive. Bucky’s soulmate is too smart and too tough to die. Bucky gets to watch the way he laughs when their friends do something stupid, to watch Tony’s back in fights while they both try to do better.

He’ll never get to taste the edges of Tony’s smile, but he shoves that aside. Tony is alive. That’s more than enough.

Tony’s first thought when he wakes half-buried under rubble is that he’s officially over alien invasions. The second is that the power of the suit fading in and out, causing the concerned shouting over the comms to cut in and out, is really not helping with his throbbing head.

The aliens swarm into what’s left of the nightclub, stealing his attention before Tony can work up the breath to answer, and all the suit’s questionable power has to go to blasting the ones that get too close. The oversized bug-like soldiers just keep coming, and Tony starts to wonder if he’d be better off ditching the deadweight of the armor.

But he’s not sure he can make a run for it. His head is spinning and he’s dimly aware of blood filling the suit, and the aliens are still coming—

There’s a roar of approaching gunfire and then Bucky is bursting into the destroyed building, wielding a large knife and the only gun Tony has built in years.

And the thing is…Tony knows those movements.

He knows that brutal fighting style, the blank rage in those blue eyes. He recognizes the wrath of the Winter Soldier. He’d been dreaming of it most of his life.

Tony can’t believe he never put it together before, because of course it’s Bucky. Resilient and brave and so kind, Bucky who still deserves so much better than Tony. Of course.

Maybe it’s just easier to recognize him with unconsciousness trying to drag Tony under. Maybe Tony’s already dreaming.

He must be, because suddenly Bucky is leaning over him. His eyes are warm, and scared. Tony doesn’t know this part of the dream, doesn’t know what happens next.

Everything is going black. Tony struggles to find his words, to plead. To beg not to be shoved away again.

Bucky sits unmoving beside Tony’s hospital bed for three days, even though all he wants to do is run.

He saw the recognition in Tony’s eyes, he knows that Tony knows. He wants to leave before Tony asks him to, because what else could Tony want from a soulmate like him?

But that’s not what Tony had said. Tony asked him to stay while sounding so scared, so resigned. Like he knew Bucky wouldn’t and it was already breaking his heart.

So, Bucky stays.

He’s staring at his fists, trying to stop himself from wondering, when the heart monitor starts beeping triple time, giving away that Tony is awake. Bucky jerks his gaze up to meet Tony’s big brown eyes, watches the flashes of fear and hope that go through them.

Bucky knows he must look terrible, hasn’t slept or shaved in days. He’s barely eaten, and he can feel the lines of worry set into his face. But Tony’s still looking at him with something like awe, just because he’s here.

When Tony smiles nervously the wave of hope that crashes over Bucky nearly overwhelms him, could crush him beneath it.

Bucky smiles back.

#my fic #winteriron #starkbucks #bucky/tony #bringing angst to the soulmate party #IM SO EXCITE TO SHAREEEEE

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reneeofthestars · 6 months

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Reunion

Excited to share the short story I wrote for "Star-Crossed: An Anidala Zine" @anidalazine ! A "Padme Lives" AU

Words: 2,585 * Read on AO3

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Padmé Naberrie Amidala, former Queen of Naboo, former Galactic Senator, and current member of the Rebellion, had been in her share of tight spots before.

But this was the first time the tight spot was an Imperial holding cell.

She’d already examined every inch of the enclosed dimly-lit space, searching for a weakness she could exploit, but found none. There was no access panel, no loose wiring, and no ventilation system large enough for her to squeeze through. So Padmé sat on the bench and watched the door, working on what she would say when an officer inevitably came to interrogate Sola Minnau.

After all, Padmé Amidala was dead.

For a while, Padmé thought she was dead. The galaxy around her swirled in hot reds and blues, then cold blacks and whites. Grief so raw it threatened to tear her apart, pain unlike any she had experienced, then stillness. Such perfect, silent stillness. She was weightless, drifting through some gentle embrace where there was no pain. No suffering.

It was the babies’ cries that called her back.

Once she was well enough to sit upright, she held her children close to her. Leia had Padmé’s eyes; Luke had Anakin’s. She was given privacy to cry. And once she had no more tears to shed, she set to work.

Padmé contacted Sabé, and her dearest friend organized the rest. Gathering Padmé’s former handmaidens, they worked swiftly to organize a body double and a funeral, and before long, the people of Naboo mourned the death of Padmé Amidala.

Heart aching but determined, Padmé had agreed to have her children separated – from her, and from each other. Having lost Anakin, Palpatine would turn his interest to the children if he knew they lived. Obi-Wan disappeared into the Outer Rim with Luke, and Bail falsified Leia’s birth records and took her into his home.

Over the years, Padmé – Sola Minnau, now – worked closely with Bail, Mon Mothma, and other trusted allies, establishing contacts, supply lines, and information networks. They smuggled food and medicine to communities being bled dry by the Empire, and helped those in danger disappear, all while trying to bolster support to resist the ever-growing dominance of the Empire over all worlds.

They all knew the risks. If they were caught, they could be subject to execution, or worse. But Padmé couldn’t stop. She would help, no matter the cost. She had spent her childhood on relief missions with her father, and she hadn’t been able to stand by while her people suffered when she was queen. She wouldn’t hide now.

That’s the thought that kept her focused when the contact on Rodia ended up being an Imperial informant. They had barely greeted each other before Padmé was surrounded by stormtroopers. Padmé had kept quiet, giving only her pseudonym when they initially questioned her. The troopers marched her onto a shuttle, and once they’d boarded the Star Destroyer in orbit, she’d been taken to a holding cell.

She took a deep breath and leaned back against the cold wall. In the twelve years since the fall of the Republic, Padmé had never been taken aboard a capital ship. With no communication or resources, help wasn’t coming. Padmé was on her own.

The door of the holding cell hissed open. She stood as a towering black-clad figure stepped in. Coarse, mechanical breathing filled the room; Padmé forced down a shudder. They had never crossed paths, but she recognized him from endless holos and horror stories, from the expressionless helmeted mask, from the lightsaber hanging from his belt.

Darth Vader.

Darth Vader’s breath would have hitched if his respirator hadn’t dragged the air from his lungs and reinflated them automatically. His heart would have stopped if the cardiac regulator hadn’t measured out steady heartbeats. The servos in his legs whirred as the galaxy was swept from under his feet and he nearly fell to his knees, so overcome with the emotions that suddenly raged inside him.

Padmé was alive. Alive, breathing, not five feet away.

No, that couldn’t be. She was dead. Vader had observed her funeral on Naboo, had mourned at her tomb. This was some trick, some deception meant to rattle him; the Emperor himself was likely behind this, testing Vader’s resolve. What was this trickery then? A PROXY droid? A Force Apparition? A Changeling? Perhaps a handmaiden?

But as Vader and his dead wife stared at one another, he shakily reached out with the Force, and felt – Padmé. Her existence thrummed in the Force, whole and strong, with that same vibrance he remembered from so long ago.

But she’d never looked at him like this. Anger burning in her eyes, resolve in the set of her lips, defiance in her stance. He’d seen her look at others like this and he’d admired her dedication and determination. But to have her glaring at him now, with loathing and defiance… he felt unsettled.

Padmé didn’t waste time. “On what grounds was I arrested?” she demanded. “It’s unlawful to take a citizen into custody without disclosing the nature of the supposed criminal activity.”

The current Admiral of The Executor had been so smug when he’d approached Vader to announce that a rebel insurgent had been captured. Vader had strode to the detention block, flanked by two stormtroopers, ready to wring out all the information he could from the rebel scum –

Of course she would be with the Rebellion. The Empire was the very thing that she had been so concerned about creating during the Clone Wars.

He forced himself to speak. “Conspiracy against the Empire.” His synthesized voice rang out in the enclosed space, so warped and pitched that she would never realize who she spoke to.

But did he really want her to know? Did he want Padmé to know what became of Anakin Skywalker? To see this broken, twisted husk of what remained? Would she want to know? Vader had killed Anakin Skywalker, had carved out everything that remained of the naïve Jedi, everything that Padmé had loved, until only Vader remained.

She was speaking, and Vader said nothing. He just… listened to her voice, bringing to mind memories of her practicing her speeches the night before important Senate sessions, as he half-listened, so happy that the Force had their paths cross all those years ago in Watto’s shop –

Fury burned in Vader’s core and he let it fester, let it burn away at the memories of the man he had killed. He turned his head, addressing the two stormtroopers standing in the cramped cell just behind him. “Leave us.”

Hastily, the troopers filed out, the door sliding closed behind them.

His breathing filled the silence; Padmé had stopped talking when Vader spoke. He felt her fear, though it did not show on her face.

“Do you have nothing to say?”

She had come to him on Mustafar, knowing what he’d done. Even as she betrayed me, she loved me.

It was the last thing she said to him; Vader heard it in his nightmares, sometimes. “Stop, stop now, come back. I love you. Anakin…”

Grief welled in him, and he spoke before he could stop himself. “I thought I lost you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’ve never met.”

“You were alive, I knew you were, but I felt – I felt our bond break.” His emotions roiled through him. “You were gone, he said –“

Hatred .

“He said I killed you,” Vader rumbled. “He said I killed you in a fit of anger, and when I couldn’t sense you, I believed him. The Emperor lied to me. He’s kept you from me all these years, knowing that I –”

That he what? Would have left Emperor Palpatine’s side? That he would run away with his long-lost wife? That he would kill her?

Padmé’s eyes had gone wide, frightened, incredulous as she stared at him. In a small voice, so quiet he almost didn’t hear: “…Anakin?”

The anguish threatened to consume him.

“Anakin Skywalker is dead.” He paused. “I…am what remains.”

She stared at him for so long, so silently, that Vader wondered if this might be a dream after all. “What…what happened?”

“It is because of Obi-Wan that I am like this,” he hissed.

“No! He would never hurt you! He loved you –”

“Enough! I don’t need to hear empty assurances.”

Fear lingered in her eyes, but that spark had returned. “If you can’t believe he loved you, what about our love?”

“I loved you more than I can ever express. I did everything for you – I would continue to do anything for you – ”

“Except come with me.”

“You brought Obi-Wan to kill me.”

“No! I didn’t know! I didn’t know he’d snuck aboard my ship.” And Vader was startled to hear the truth of her words reverberate in the Force. Taking a hesitant step forward, Padmé’s eyes flickered between the lenses of his mask, as though trying to see through them. “All I wanted was you. For us to be safe, and happy. We didn’t need anything else. Even…even after everything you did…”

“It was necessary. To bring order to the galaxy, to gain powers of the Force that would save –” Vader stopped abruptly. “The child. Does the child live?”

She bristled, and that was all the answer he needed.

He turned from her, but he didn’t see the cold cell around them. He saw a child splashing in the lakes of Naboo, Padmé laughing as she chased them, and Anakin Skywalker watched them from the grass, smiling and happy, whole and unburnt.

And then his vision clouded with red, and black, and Darth Vader’s fury returned, wiping out the scene of peace that had been stolen from him. Because it had been stolen from him. If he had never pledged himself to the Emperor, never razed the Jedi Temple, never succumbed to the Dark Side, if the Emperor hadn’t lied to him about Padmé’s death…

“Anakin?”

He jolted out of his seething reverie. Padmé’s expression was carefully controlled, but Vader could sense her unease, her fear, her… hope.

Her steady voice held more gentleness than he deserved. “What happens now?”

Now, the Emperor would die. Now, Vader would have revenge. Now…

He turned on his heel and waved his hand, the cell door opening, harsh white light spilling into the dim space.

“Bring her,” he commanded.

The stormtroopers moved immediately, pulling Padmé from her cell and marching her behind him. He could feel her eyes boring into the back of his helmet, but he didn’t turn around. If he took the time to explain, he might lose his nerve.

And neither Darth Vader nor Anakin Skywalker ever lost their nerve.

Padmé wanted to cry. She wanted to curl into the corner of some isolated place and sob her heart out. Instead, she raised her chin and walked as upright as she could as the stormtroopers escorted her behind the towering Sith.

How had the man she loved become the most feared monster in the galaxy?

She had believed, all those years ago, that there was still good in Anakin, even as he turned his back on everything he believed because he thought it would save her. But when Obi-Wan said that Anakin was dead –

Obi-Wan. Did he know that Anakin lived? Did he know what had become of his best friend? Had Obi-Wan lied to her about Anakin’s death, the way the Emperor lied to Anakin? No, she couldn’t believe that. He had been nearly as distraught as her. He couldn’t have known.

With all her heart, Padmé wanted to believe that there was still some sliver of good left in the creature that was Darth Vader; some glimmer of Anakin that she could recognize. But the horrific things that Vader had done… She watched the Imperials scatter from him in fear as Vader led her through the maze of corridors. How many had he killed? Tortured? He continued to hunt down surviving Jedi, relentlessly pursued Rebel insurgents, left ruins in his wake.

Could there really be good left in such a man?

She had to believe there was.

The corridor opened to a hanger bay. TIE fighters, small cargo ships, and shuttles lined the platform; technicians, pilots, deck crew, officers, and troopers moved in tightly organized groups, or else with purpose from one task to another. Darth Vader ignored them all, heading straight for a shuttle.

Technicians tending to the shuttle tripped over themselves as they leapt to attention.

“Lord Vader! We weren’t informed of a scheduled departure –”

“An apt statement, as I don’t often operate on schedules.” The man flinched. “I have need of my shuttle. Is it suitable?”

“Yes, my lord! It has been returned to your specifications.”

As the deck crew hurriedly cleared away their equipment, Padmé couldn’t help a twinge of familiarity; of course Anakin would be particular about his ship. So that, at least, had remained.

Darth Vader stood at the landing ramp and faced her. The troopers shoved her forward. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hand twitch. But he didn’t strike. Instead, he stepped in front of them. “That will be all.”

“Sir?” one of them asked confusedly.

“I am not accustomed to repeating myself.” The low, warning tone sent a shiver up Padmé’s spine.

“Yessir,” the other said hastily, stepping back. The first trooper went to speak, thought better of it, and followed his fellow soldier.

Darth Vader’s shadow fell over her as she walked into the ship. Despite the size of the shuttle, there wasn’t much room inside; half the interior was taken up by some spherical mechanism, like a ball-shaped chamber.

“What’s happening?” she asked, doing her best to keep her tone calm.

Instead of answering, Vader swept past her, cape billowing behind him as he strode to the cockpit. “Strap in until we enter hyperspace.”

Her stomach flipped. Where was he taking her? Why didn’t he bring any guards along? Tense, she lowered herself into a seat and adjusted the safety harness. Darth Vader – Anakin – no, she couldn’t think of him as Anakin – Vader sat in the pilot's seat, expertly flipping switches and adjusting controls until the ship hummed to life.

The harsh white of the hanger bay ended as they emerged into the blackness of space. She could just spy Rodia through the viewport as Vader turned the ship and input coordinates. Coordinates to where? Within moments, the stars warped and stretched, before slingshotting them into the blue-white of hyperspace.

Gathering herself, Padmé undid the harness and stood. Vader made no movement as she walked into the cockpit. Even when she stood beside him, he didn’t turn to look at her. She gazed out the viewport feeling like she was hurtling towards –

“I will take you anywhere you want to go.”

A breath escaped Padmé. “What?”

Vader said nothing.

“You’re –” she sat heavily in a little-used copilots chair. “You’re helping me escape?”

“You will be interrogated as a Rebel spy. You may be tortured, or killed. And if the Emperor discovered your identity, he may take personal interest.”

After a long moment he added softly, “I cannot lose you again.”

With a trembling hand, she reached over and touched the side of that black mask. Finally, he turned to face her. It may have been a trick of the lenses, but for just a moment, she thought she saw his eyes illuminated in the light of hyperspace. Anakin’s eyes. Luke’s eyes.

“Come with me.”

#anidala #andiala zine #anakin skywalker #darth vader #padme amidala #vaderdala #padme lives au #rebel padme au #star wars #star wars prequels #star wars empire era #star wars original trilogy #star wars fic #star wars fanfic #renee's writing #sw #padme/anakin #padme/vader #padme amidala/anakain skywalker

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meku95 · 1 year

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[FRAME OF THE INSIDE-STEVEN UNIVERSE]

This was my piece for Now We’re Only Falling Apart, one of my first zine that I ever participated, and it's this SU zine @falling-apart-zineg-apart-zine so get a look on it. To the other artist on this zine and all, it's going for charity.

This was done in 2020 so yeah

#steven universe #steven universe future #corrupted steven universe #corrupted gem #pink diamond #pink steven #fanart #zine

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neptunezines · 8 months

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you exist to me even when youre not here

i wrote this about one of my friends who has had a couple mental health scares while living states away from me. your friends care about you and worry about you !! <3

image IDs are sorted from top to bottom and left to right, five images (sorry for length):

image 1: A single sheet folded zine. The cover of the zine. It reads "you exist to me even when you're not here". there is a drawing of a sad looking frog and a phone with multiple unanswered texts.

image 2: The first and second pages of the zine. Page one reads "the people you grow up with will eventually move away, or you will. it's just a fact of life. and we have to get used to our friends moving states away with seemingly no warning, or we have to leave our friends behind" The top of the page has drawings of luggage and the bottom has a crying frog being left behind by a car. Page two continues, "but we adapt, learn to live without our best friend and move on in life, and we start to think that maybe they had forgotten about us by now. because who could ever remember us, our old friend is hanging out with people they like more than they ever did us, and are too busy being happy that we are too busy being happy that we are gone to spare a single second missing us. we probably dont even exist to them." Drawings of stick figures cross the page, and one of them has a thought bubble with a crossed out frog in it.

image 3: The second and third pages of the zine. The text spans across both pages, and says "well, you're wrong! we think about you all the time. we wonder... are you okay? ...are you safe? ...are you alive?" Most of the spread is covered in questions about the friend's life and wellbeing in small text.

image 4: The fourth and fifth pages of the zine. Page four says "you might not be near us anymore, but that doesnt mean that we forgot about you! don't ever start thinking that you can let yourself fall apart, because we will always be here for you and we are always worried about your wellbeing. nothing will ever prepare you for a long distance friendship, but miles of land and water will never make us like you any less!" There is a smiling frog in the middle of the page with a thought bubble that says "you". hearts fill the bubble and surround the frog. Page five says "you exist to me even when you're not here" in large font.

image 5: The backpage of the zine. There is a drawing of a frog's face, and underneath it says "hi, my name is max! want to see more? instagram and tumblr: neptunezines April 8th, 2023"

#zine making #art zine #zine artist #zine #original zine #art

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omophagic-beast · 2 months

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Biotrophication is now funding on Kickstarter!! It's one of the games I've been the most excited for and haven't seen a post about on tumblr yet so!

One player plays a human who has resisted becoming a compliant biotrophy and the other player plays an alien who questions the ideology behind conquering humanity and creating human biotrophies in the first place. As their relationship develops over three acts, the two might find common ground, disagreements, grudges and even love… or everything will fall apart.

I've had a chance to read through the game and it's really good. There's biting involved. You may know the creator, Darling Demon Eclipse, from the other very good game Sapphicworld.

#corvid caws #look at this game #beaming it into ur brain #indie ttrpgs #zinemonth2024

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supercorpzine · 1 year

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Over the years we’ve been asked many times about how to run a fandom zine, so to finally answer those questions here is our incomplete and rough guide/collection of questions to ask yourself on good practices for running a fandom event or charity zine. By no means is this an exact how-to, but we hope this will help answer questions and prompt you in the right direction for running a clean and organized event safely and responsibly!

Purpose

What is the purpose of your zine (or event)? Why are you doing this? Is it for fun? Are you raising money for charity? Are you doing it because you just want to and because you love fandom and your ship? Is it a combination of all of the above? Will it be fan fiction? Fan art? Gifs? Video edits? Music? A combination of any? Are you going to run a big bang or reverse bang? Are you running a gift exchange for the holidays? These are all incredibly important questions to ask yourself when you first decide you want to lead a zine or event!

If this is for charity, decide your charities before you launch anything. It is good practice to have a solid plan on what you want to do and what you want to accomplish before posting an interest check. It is better to be prepared and have to postpone your zine or event than to try to run a project with no clear cut agenda. Projects that do not have a clear path or set agenda have a much higher risk of fizzling and falling apart.

When choosing your charity, make sure to research them first before making your final decision. To best protect yourself and make sure your money is going to a real cause your charity should be a 501(c)(3) registered charity and you should be able to view their IRS 990 form on their website, or on a helpful website called Charity Navigator.

WARNING. If you are involving money, it is in your best interest NOT to include photoshop manipulations, gifs, videos, or any other form of media that includes real photography or the voices of your characters (this includes voice actors). Actors and companies are very strict in their contracts about how their likenesses and voices can and can’t be used for profit. You would be risking the integrity of your event as well as financial responsibility. If anything, you could potentially receive a Cease & Desist with a threat of legal action.

If you are concerned about the safety of your money, draw up a contract with any partners that protect those funds from being stolen-or result in legal consequences if so. If you are running a non-fandom event and paying your artists, you will need to speak to a lawyer to make sure you safely and legally can compensate them for their work. Find and speak to a lawyer or financial advisor to see what your options are.

Audience

Who is your audience? Events and zines with narrower focuses are easier to maintain. Are you prepared to keep a close audience or are you going to go broader? If you are thinking of a broader event you should look and see if other people from different fandoms are interested in running a fandom project to help you organize the process and spread the word. Do your research on fandom relations. Some fandoms are often not held in favorable light by other fandoms and trying to marry two together may result in a failure to organize. If you are determined but may not have the audience, start small with something like a fic exchange and see how it goes.

Though not necessarily true, a good way to gain an audience is by generating content. Have you been active in the fandom you want to run your zine/event for? If so, how have your posts been doing and have you been interacting with other people? People are more likely to trust and join a project if they at least know of the person running it even if they aren’t a “BFN” (Big Fandom Name). There is no way to truly determine if you will even get an audience as much of fandom’s attention now is based on what’s the newest and what is going to bring the most instant gratification. Fandom events take a lot of time, how will you maintain your audience during the lulls?

Organization

How are you going to organize this? What social media platforms do you want to utilize? Will you set up a Discord? Only contact via Email? How will you collect and organize the contributions? Google drive folders or documents or an AO3 collection? Will you have your contributors email you word docs or PDFs if you are distributing?

Is it a call for all admissions or will you have curated limited slots? Are you doing an invitation only event? If you are doing applications, what are the requirements? How will you vet people? Allowing transphobic creators into a zine raising money for trans charities is not ideal, which is why we encourage having the vision for your event before you put out an interest check. What is your schedule? How long do you want to dedicate to the entire process while still allowing adequate time for people to contribute? How are you going to share it?

What if it’s 100% digital? Will you do an online collection on AO3? If not AO3, how are you compiling it? Will you have the contributors send you a PDF that you will then stitch together? Will you find someone with design experience to do it for you?

What if you want to print? Who will you print with? How will you ship? Will you offer it internationally? It is possible some printers will not want to work with you if you are trying to do monetary sales on fan fiction and fan art for fear of copyright infringement. Make sure to do your research for online companies (Lulu does not like to do this, Smartpress is a decent option) or look around at a local printshop (tends to run more expensive, especially now with continuing material shortages). If you are doing print things get trickier, especially if you need to adhere to print specifications-usually CMYK, 300dpi, press ready PDFs following the printer’s templates for safety area and document bleed-at a minimum. You’ll have a smoother time if someone on your team (or you) have some sort of design experience. It’s easy to put words on a page to print. It’s hard to make them look good.

At a glance digital considerations:

Where to host (do not tie money to ao3, see note in Outreach & Promotion)

Create a visual standard (colors, sizes, ‘logos’, etc)

Create submission standard (word count or other content requirements, location, file type/size, etc)

At a glance print considerations:

Digital layout for print

If offering both digital & physical versions, you will want to have files tailored to each application (see notes about bleed & printer templates above)

Finding and working with a vendor

Shipping

-International packages come with their own caveats about where will accept what shipping companies -Physical items: generate labels, acquire boxes & protective stuffing, physically package items (where? Enough packagers?) -Schedule pickups -Size of product will affect size & therefore cost of shipping per item

At a glance overall considerations:

Sales vendor/storefront if applicable

Tracking sales items

Tracking costs & transparency documents

Tracking participant communications

Tracking customer communications

Upkeeping social media posts & communications (& generating content)

Tracking participant deliverables

With all of this considered, clear communication is key. Having clear expectations of deliverables, dates, and timelines for your participants and as well as clear responsibilities between leadership individuals will help you be successful.

Timeline

Your timeline is important and you should try your best to stick to it. Have it posted, have an FAQ, again be transparent about both internal scheduling for your contributors and public scheduling for those watching.

When creating your schedule, it may be helpful to do a ‘workback’ schedule - pick an ideal final date, and working backwards, add in estimated times and dates for every single task and deliverable to see what is realistic to accomplish for contributors and for leadership. If you are ordering physical items, build in buffer times - particularly remembering that with today’s chaotic global supply chain, things may take more time. Required check-ins can be helpful for visibility and prevent procrastination.

Also do your research on your fandom. Have there been previous events? If so, are you potentially overlapping with other events? Potential overlap can harm both events, so look around and think about potentially starting when one is finishing up or has just finished so you can reach a bigger pool of creatives. Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to other event organizers, they may be wanting to participate in other events that aren’t theirs but have been unable to due to scheduling. BUT, don’t let others’ schedule dictate your own, you need to stick to a calendar that you know you can abide by.

Quality and Curation

An “all welcome” zine or event is far different from a curated zine or event. What is the quality of work you are looking for? People are more likely to interact with work that is of better quality if it involves money, so if you are wanting to raise money or pay your participants (or have enough funds for production and shipping alone), then you might need to think about running a curated project. Even with talented contributors, if the time isn’t right or if something changes with the event leadership the quality can still be affected.

Another consideration when deciding on curation is physical (and to a lesser extent) real estate. If you are printing, costs of printing itself and shipping are affected by page size and number and weight, so remember to account for this when looking at curation, printers, shipping, and finances.

When thinking about curation and before opening applications, leadership should be in agreement on how many spots for each type of media are ideal, and what parameters the project is looking for ie x amount of fanfiction or fanart or both, certain styles, certain themes, certain content, certain subjective qualities etc. Those are qualities based on submitted work but there could be other factors you might filter your participants by, such as age if you have explicit content, previous participation in fandom work, etc. Having these clarified will help the team confidently select participants as well as give applicants better expectations and understanding of the decisions made.

Rejection, unfortunately, is the reality of a curated project. It can be difficult to turn an application down because you can see the passion and excitement, but the work isn’t right or ready for the project. Not everyone will be accepted if they don’t meet the standards that you are looking for, and not everyone has the formal creative background through school or career to teach them how to navigate these rejections. There will be some people who don’t have experience applying to something like this before or who won’t understand why they weren’t chosen or take a rejection as a personal attack. You must be prepared for upset or inappropriate responses and be able to act calmly and professionally while sticking to your decisions, and without lashing out. If you need someone on your team skilled in PR or customer service, this will be a good time for them to help you. This is your project, and you must stick by what you set out to do.

Outreach and Promotion

How are you going to find contributors? Are you going to rely on word of mouth or ask people to join? Do you have a minimum count of people you would like to join? How are you going to spread the word? Social media accounts? What kind of content are you going to generate to keep up the attention to the project? How will you get this content-yourself or asking those interested to help?

Find your core audience and cater your posts to catch their attention. Use hashtags, graphics, buzz words etc to bolster this. Retweet/reblog/share to your stories regularly a few times a week to keep the momentum. The more you put this on people’s radar, the better chance you’ll have at it stabilizing and gaining momentum. There is no “easy step” to starting and maintaining an event.

**Remember, please DO NOT use Ao3 as a platform for promoting a monetary project. You may use it as a means of distribution and sharing but be conscious of how that work is presented. Bringing money into Ao3 risks the legality of what the OTW’s legal team has fought and won for fandom.

Finances

Things get harder when money is involved. If you plan to sell your zine or raise money through your event it is in your best interest to make it 100% not for profit. If you are creating a fanzine it is highly recommended that it is solely for charity to protect yourself from copyright and receiving a cease and desist letter (and possible legal retaliation).

This means your contributors nor you will be receiving a single monetary amount for anything, everything will be going to the charity (or charities) you have chosen. If you choose to print, you will have to account for 30-50% of your gross going to production and shipping and any other materials you may need. If you are determined to raise money, offer your zine or the content as a limited exclusive offer for a few months before allowing your contributors to post. Doing so helps drum up excitement and generate sales therefore helping you raise more money.

An easy and clean way to raise money is either through PDF sales or a fundraiser where interested supporters share a receipt of a donation so you don’t have to touch a cent. Your gross profit would then become your net profit, and you can give the entirety of the funds raised without messing with the logistics of printing and shipping. Don’t get yourself in trouble. Account for every cent.

Taxes

Talk to a tax accountant for guidance for your state and country.

While you may not be planning on counting your raised money as taxable income and donate every cent, the IRS (or other government tax offices) may not think so. Make a financial plan that protects you from owing extra income tax as some charities don’t accept PayPal donations and you will need to transfer funds through a bank account-or plan to take a small percentage to pay taxes on or consider registering as an LLC depending on how long you want to be in operation. You can then of course turn around and donate the percentage taken to truly donate every cent. Don’t get yourself in trouble. Account for every cent.

Transparency

If money is involved you MUST be transparent.

This will not only protect you and your contributors in the long run, but gain trust. This means records of all receipts, record of orders, record of donations, EVERYTHING (with your personal information blacked out). Show a record for any reimbursement of materials if you choose to take that reimbursement. Not sharing the bare bones of your financial records can open you up to questions and criticisms and grow distrust-which would then hurt future endeavors.

The first step is to open a new clean paypal account for zine-only transactions, this will help you with transparency. Don’t get yourself in trouble. Account for every cent.

Dedication

Here’s the kicker. If you don’t have the dedication to run your project, it will suffer and possibly even fail.

Running a fandom zine or event takes a lot of time and energy on your part. They simply don’t spring into existence just because you think it would be fun and you have the passion for it. Things would be so much easier if that were the case!

Some events will be easier to maintain than others, like fic exchanges. Big bangs can also be as easy or as hard as you want them to be depending on the number of contributors and if you are doing a regular-or reverse bang, or an open or closed big bang.

Zines usually require a lot more dedication and effort to complete because of printing, production, shipping, and finances. At the shortest, these endeavors can last from three months to six to eight months, with zines ranging up to a year or over depending on internal scheduling even if your supporters only see it publicly for a couple months. Even if you do try to do everything right, sometimes projects just don’t work out. Anything could happen to halt or slow down the process, but it’s up to you to keep it going if you can and if you want to.

In the end, this is a fun project that you can do. But there are many moving parts to make sure that it runs smoothly. In short: take your time, get your ducks in a row, and have a clear goal of what you want to accomplish because it will take a lot of work. Good luck!

#long post #zine #supercorp zine #mod post

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pitohuifeathers · 1 year

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Piece I did for the @falling-apart-zine

#steven universe #zine #rose #steven universe future #this is two years old now woof

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loki-is-my-kink-awakening · 4 months

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2023 Writing Round-up

I wrote 33 fics this year.

JANUARY

Dancing Around His Feelings (Witcher, M, 1.5k)

Jaskier visits the Countess da Stael to help him get over his heartbreak. Implied Geraskier. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

One Special Night (Witcher, E, 1.5k)

Jaskier gives Elihal earrings for a night on the town. It leads to a special night of sex. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

FEBRUARY

A New Life (Midnight Mass, T, 1.5k)

Priley. John plans to ask Riley to run away with him, but it turns out he was too late to ask.

A Kiss Like No Other (Loki, T, 666)

Lokius. Alt S1E6 ending. Loki and Mobius meet again and share a passionate kiss.

The Real Treasure (Witcher, M, 3.7k)

Geraskier. Modern AU. Family fluff mainly. Jaskier sends Geralt on a treasure hunt, but it’s really a ruse to spend time with his family. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

MARCH

A Nice Afternoon (Witcher, E, 1.9k)

Geraskier. Modern AU. Smut. Jaskier and Geralt enjoy an afternoon performing a certain sex act. 69th Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

APRIL

Sure, Big Boy (Stranger Things, T, 100)

Steddie. Steve is caught staring at Eddie.

Impatience (Stranger Things, M, 100)

Steddie. Eddie has Steve all tied up and waiting.

One On The Way (Loki, T, 3.8k)

Lokius. Canon divergence. Loki discovers he’s pregnant and doesn’t know how to tell Mobius. Gift fic.

Jaskier Sandwich (Witcher, E, 2.5k)

Geraskier/Lambden. Smut. Jaskier enjoys an afternoon sandwiched between Lambert and Aidan while Geralt watches. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

The Temptation of Christ (Midnight Mass, E, 3.3k)

Priley. Smut. John celebrates Easter by stringing Riley up on a cross. For the Church of Priley Discord server's Easter event.

While The World Falls Apart (Loki, T, 1.3k)

Lokius. Pre S2. As Kang’s forces surround them with no hope of escape, Loki decides to kiss Mobius for the first time. Kiss prompt.

Lessons In Self Discovery (Witcher, M, 1.6k)

Geraskier/Lambden. Spanking. Geralt watches Aiden spank Jaskier and Lambert, and learns something about his own desires in the process. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

The Tears Of A Trickster (Loki, M, 855)

Lokius. Pre S2. Mobius tries to hide his arousal at Loki crying in front of him, but the trickster knows all too well how to use it to his advantage. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.

His Summer (Witcher, G, 888)

Geraskier. Fluff. Geralt realises he doesn’t want the summer to end because it means time alone from Jaskier. Flash Fic Friday challenge.

Afterwards (Loki, T, 978)

Lokius. Angst. Loki spirals after getting together with Mobius. They run, but Mobius follows them and provides much-needed comfort. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.

Fighting To Get To You (Witcher, T, 2.6k)

Geraskefer. Geralt and Yennefer fight tooth and nail to rescue a kidnapped Jaskier. Witcher Flash Fic Challenge.

MAY

All In A Day’s Work (Loki, M, 904)

Lokius. Smutty humour. HR manager Mobius is fed up with Loki being sent to see him every day for inappropriate comments, so he comes up with a creative solution. Flash Fic Friday Challenge.

The Start Of Something New (TLOU, M, 2.2k)

Bill x Frank. Smut. A deeper look at Bill and Frank’s first time together. Gift fic.

Watch It Burn (Loki, T, 3.4k)

Lokius. Hurt/comfort. Mobius doesn’t expect Loki to return after leaving him and Sylvie in the Void, but he does. Gift fic.

Keeping Hope Alive (Loki, T, 3.5k)

Mobius and Ravonna. Mobius is stuck on a mission going wrong when he bumps into Ravonna. They face the ruins of their friendship as well as the enemy. Gift fic.

Much Ado About Lokius (Loki, G, 1.9k)

Lokius. Humour. Loki and Mobius go on a mission involving a Shakespeare play, Loki in a dress and facing their inherent feelings for one another. Originally written for the Mischievous Scamp zine.

JUNE

Silky Heat (OFMD, E, 3.1k)

Stizzy. Omegaverse. Stede discovers Izzy’s secret and helps him through his heat (consensually). For Knot In My Name event.

A Barking Dog Seldom Bites (OFMD, E, 19.5k)

Stizzy/Steddyhands. Smut. Izzy finally loses the rag about Stede always touching him and it results in explosive sex. For the OFMD Reverse Big Bang.

SEPTEMBER

Drown Out All The Sound (Witcher, E, 2.7k)

Radskier. Smut/angst. Radovid has a special night planned for him and his lover, but heartache ensues in the end.

In Any Shape Or Form (Loki, E, 3k)

Lokius. Smut. Loki shifts form and now has a vagina. Mobius learns what to do with it. Gift fic.

What My Heart Just Yearns To Say (Witcher, G, 2k)

Geraskier. Geralt cares for Jaskier but can’t tell him how he feels until Jaskier forces the conversation. Kiss prompt.

OCTOBER

The Words I Could Not Say (Loki, T, 3.3k)

Lokius. MCD. Alt S2E1 ending. Loki fails to make it back to Mobius. (First chapter is sad, follow-up chapter in the works).

NOVEMBER

Let Time Pass (Loki, T, 1.6k)

Lokius. Post S2. Mobius tries to settle down after Loki frees the timeline from the loom. Years pass until one day, Loki appears.

Dream of Me (Loki, E, 2.8k)

Lokius. Post S2. Smut. Mobius thinks he’s dreaming of sleeping with Loki. Turns out he really is and he leaves behind a little something.

The Things You Do For Love (Loki, E, 2.8k)

Lokius. Smut. Set S1E4. Loki turns to desperate measures when they think Mobius no longer needs them.

DECEMBER

Need Your Discipline (Stranger Things, M, 15k)

Steddie. Spanking AU. Steve looks for discipline and finds it in the form of Eddie, but he also finds care and belonging. Prompt fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023.

Christmas Angel (Loki, G)

Lokius. Christmas family fluff, post S2. Loki is expecting his sixth child while also keeping the timelines alive and safe. Gift fic for All About Lokius discord server friend.

In My Arms (Stranger Things, T)

Steddie. College AU, enemies to lovers. Steve has nightmares and Eddie cuddles him to soothe them away. Prompt fill for Fandom Trumps Hate 2023.

Now I know why I wrote the most words in April because I was writing other fics at the same time as two big bang fics. Yikes.

Thanks for the tag @cha-melodius 💕

Tagging @underthebluerain @dancingwiththefae @rins-love-wins @mimisempai @pherryt @gleamingsilence @artaxlivs @definitely-not-iorveth @ialwayscomewhenyoucall @rauchendesgnu @flawney @buckybeardreams if you wanna do it.

#2023 writing round up #lokius #geraskier #radskier #steddie #priley #stizzy #steddyhands #bill x frank #my fics

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octofaewrites · 12 days

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Octofae’s Fic List™️

All of my works can be find here:

I write for a variety of fandoms, so here we go - fandoms include: Bleach, Pokémon, Winx Club, and a few others!

Bleach - IchiRuki

Series

Masaki Lives! AU

Bleach, but Masaki was the parent who lived instead of Isshin.

The Noodle Saga

Crack Series involving Ichigo pining away for Rukia while Renji is trying to protect his captain’s dignity. (He is terrible at it.)

The Mystery of the Rukongai Crater

Paranormal Investigators, but make it Hallmark!AU

Conversations with the Future In-Laws

Hypothetical scenarios where Ichigo & Rukia talk to their future in-laws.

IchiRuki Month

Collection of works for IchiRuki Month

IchiRuki Week

Collection of works for IchiRuki Week

Stand Alone Stories

Performance Review

Three Casual Acquaintances™️ start a podcast as they try to solve the mystery of the sudden death of a neighbor in their swanky apartment complex.

Operation Christmas Play

Ichigo is trying to be romantic and Urahara has the connections.

Bleach - Others

Ready, Set, Caw….?

Renji/Orihime - jokefic written for a friend! Two dingdongs try to make cookies and a random crow keeps trolling them.

Through space and time, my love belongs to you (Chapter 1)

GrimmIchiRuki - Rukia is getting married to Grimmjow and Ichigo is sad because he’s hopelessly in love with them both - his life is surely over… or is it?

This story is a multi-author, round-robin project for GIR weekend!

Other Writers: kleinegirl87, AiTsuki97, Mako_After_Dark, AriadneKurosaki

Pokémon -

Pokémon: Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl

Merry Mishaps

Dawn, Lucas and Berry decided to exchange presents. Their starters do a bad job of being helpful.

No pairings - Written for the Pokémon Winter Wonderland Zine 2023

Pokémon: Legends Arceus / Diamond/Pearl/Platinum - VoloKari

Series

Somewhere over the Sea

The Pirate AU that no one needed or asked for.

Conversations at the Company Water Cooler

Idiot coworkers in a situationship and too dumb to admit they’re dating.

Sweet Like Honey

Friends with Benefits™️ who are benefiting across Hisui.

As the World Falls Down

Angsty Soulmate AU, where I don’t let them be together.

Volokari Week

Collection of stories I did for Volokari Week 2023

Stand Alone Stories

Déjà Vu - I’ve just been in this Place Before

I want to be cool and do a reimagining of PL:A; I’m just not cool.

Time Won’t Fly (Dead Dove - MIND THE TAGS)

Akari not in a good place.

Doll (Dead Dove - MIND THE TAGS)

Akari is not having a good time. Set in BumbleTee’s Cop AU

When My World Shakes, I Feel Alive

Sweet conversation between Dawn/Volo after getting her drunk idiot roommates to bed.

Shopping is Serious Business

Crackfic. Volo’s real punishment for trying to subjugate Arceus is having to go shopping with his daughter and her equally high maintenance friend.

Pokémon: Scarlet & Violet - Arviana

Safe & Sound

Juliana is tired from her near death experiences and meeting ghosts and gets a much needed Arven-hug.

Sucker.

Arven can’t tell Ogerpon no.

Treasure

Arven reflects on how his family is his treasure

Paradise is Nothing but a Smile

Arviana Picnic Date!

And, maybe it was ego swinging

The AU where Turo pulled his head out of his ass and was a parent to Arven.

Home is Where the Heart Is

Juliana made it back from Blueberry Academy and is beyond glad to be reunited with Arven

Pokémon: Scarlet & Violet - Draymine

I created a Discord Server for Drayton x Carmine which also features Arviana and Kieran x Lacey - Other ships are welcome! It can be joined HERE - (18+ Please!)

Series

You are in Love

An on-going series featuring snapshots through Drayton and Carmine’s relationship.

Stand Alone Stories

Well, this is a choice

Jokefic - Kieran sees that Crispin has awful dragon claws for feet and Drayton and Carmine’s alone time keeps getting interrupted.

#herbamysticashipping #mintteashipping #arviana #drayton x carmine #Draymine #volokari #ichiruki #bleach #pokémon #pokémon scarlet and violet #pokémon legends arceus #archive of our own #fanfic #pokemon fanfiction #bleach fanfiction #pokemon games

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