“Is this right? Is it right for us to be like this?”
- Choi Woong, Our Beloved Summer
my love was loyal, at the price of my sanity
I fell in love with a version of you that never existed.
do you still think about me?
do you think of the nights we spent talking for hours on end?
do you think of the moments when i’d remind you that i’d fight everything for you?
when i was still yours?
do you think of how much i would’ve given up for you and feel tears well up in your eyes?
do i even cross your mind?
-because i still think about you. every day. c.r.
Falling out of love
was the best for me,
and one day you will know,
I am not like them.
I am not soft,
and I will not be swayed,
my love is for real,
it’s just not meant for you.
We’re too different-
you bury your feelings in bodies,
I bury mine in secrets
that cut me all night long.
I can see the shadow of myself within
the pictures you take
of your new love,
cut, copy, and paste-
no different angles.
I wonder what you think of,
when the same lighting
hits her face.
but you don’t
falling out of love i’d say is even worse than falling in love. u feel urself drifting apart from the one person ur comfortable with and u don’t know why. all u want to do is talk to them but the words don’t come out. all u want to do is listen to them but ur ears will block it out. and that’s hard to deal with. no matter how many times someone will say they r there for u it’s not those people u want it it’s them. that one person who means so much to me. who i would do anything for in a heart beat. ironic i’d do it in a heartbeat when my heart is barely clinging together.
first actual post wth
did it hurt? when you realized you were only falling for the idea of them and the person they made you feel like you could be?
When did you stop caring? he asked.
When did you start noticing? she replied.
— Lang Leav
I did not think you could ever fall out of love the same way you fall for it. I did not think that I could care so much about a person and have those romantic feelings begin to fade. I guess they were right. You love them less after having to forgive them so many times while they love you more each time. Here we are and I’m done while they are merely just beginning to love me the way I loved them.
i envy how fast you moved on. i wish i loved you less
In the end, the pain he made me go through was much more than the love I held for him.
"i wonder if this is moving on?
dreaming of his embrace rather than yours?
but i know i’d be lying to myself if i said i never miss the feeling of your hand in mine.
i’d be lying if i said i didn’t picture your face sometimes instead of his.
i’d be lying if i said hearing your voice rouses nothing in me.
i’d be lying if i said the sight of your name doesn’t make my stomach twist in ways i can’t quite decipher.
i’d be lying if i said that i don’t love you, still.
but i’ll never tell you that.
and though i miss you, i know this is the way it has to be."
-because you broke me. c.r.
timbre of your presence is what I lack tonight
haphazard mozaic of apathy and arrhythmia
in honour of your faded scent the air turns black
splashes of lit streets on empty sheets run free
traps of trembling hands couldn't hold them
open window breathing late winter's stridency
open wound in the wall where we shared filth
sipped cigarettes and smoked cheap black tea
heaven knows how many kisses died for us then
andromeda broke free from starry chains and
laid ink of the night into your eyes - mea culpa
limerence bore me blind, and your renewed pain
plastered it over every breath, every sigh u shed
and so we split, neck deep in our collective guff
stoic neons now, in rich atrocity red, spill
scant light over apologies unsaid, I wonder why
falling in love with music makes
falling out of love with you
sound so pretty
Falling out of love is so weird... one morning u wake up and realised you're not looking forward to talking to him anymore. You haven't opened his pictures or videos in weeks now. You don't wish to share every moment of your day. He isn't the first person you text in capslock when something interesting happens in your life. You don't miss him and your tear glands kept your promise to never cry for him again for the last few months. You don't want him to tell you about his day (though you suspect you might fall back in love if he does ever again). You do wonder what he's doing in that particular moment sometimes, but it doesn't gnaw your insides and scorch your throat with the NEED to know what he's doing. You stop wishing things, and even if you wish to continue a conversation, you find out that there's nothing more to talk about. You stop piling up the regrets, stop hoping and at night, you don't plead at the universe that he loves you back anymore. Yes, you worry about him, because its become a habit. You still sometimes crave his attention, but that no longer suffocates you. And when he talks about other girls, you don't feel the jealousy like knives setting your skin on fire. You might never stop caring about someone, but you slowly fall out of love. It takes time, and its a painful process, but it eventually happens, whether you want to or not.