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#familial abuse
traumatizedjaguar · 1 year
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desultory-suggestions · 6 months
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You can outgrow that behaviors from your past that you regret. You can change, you can go to therapy, work on yourself, and surround yourself with people who choose kindness and compassion. You can learn to express yourself through new means, instead of yelling or physical violence, you can learn to respond with thoughtful words and action. You are allowed to have space to change and become a new person. Don’t let your shame hold you back.
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caseofthemorbs · 9 months
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When you’re emotionally abused you become perceptive. You know people well because you have to know them well or else they might yell or throw things, not speak to you at all, or kick you out of the house. You pick up every like, dislike, facial expression, and piece of body language.
After a while people described me as thoughtful and considerate, but was I? I was perceptive for survival. It made my life easier, it gave me a sense of control where there was none.
I didn’t make my father’s favorite dessert because I wanted him to be happy because he deserved it. No, I did it because if he was happy then he was less likely to get angry.
I asked people if they were okay not because I was concerned for them, but because I was afraid of what they might do next. They look angry, is it something I did? They’re not talking, is this the silent treatment?
But it won’t always be like that. This part of my personality, where I pick up on everything? It will probably be here forever, but now it comes with less fear.
I made my fiancé’s favorite dinner because I love to see the joy on his face when he eats it. I bought my best friend the perfect gift because I want her to know I appreciate her. I ask my sister if she’s okay because I want her to know I’m always here for her.
I was afraid, but no longer.
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theereina · 3 months
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coulsonlives · 1 month
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transenbyconfessions · 8 months
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CW/TW: Discussion of transphobia, transphobic families, and fundementalist Christianity
I haven't personally seen a lot of people talk about this specific aspect of transphobia and being a trans child or young adult (although I'm sure it's out there), so I wanted to put my experience here. Partially as a vent, and also to connect with other people experiencing the same thing.
It's a truly horrible experience knowing that the second you come out as transgender (and as queer in general, I'm speaking on my experience specifically), your relationship with your family will end. You know for a fact that they will never change their opinion, and you've accepted that, so you just have to sit and wait as you get older until the time comes when you can leave.
I stopped kidding myself and accepted I was transgender at 16. I'm 18 now, and I'm just waiting for the day it all ends (and begins anew). I already have a bad (read: abusive) relationship with most of my relatives, but the one I have with my mum could, in another life, be improved on to maybe resemble something healthy (once her parents died). But she was raised as a Pentacostal Creationist, and her love for me will never outweigh her belief in her specific church (bordering on cult). A lot of people like to reassure others by saying that their family eventually came around, but unfortunately for many of us this isn't a reality.
I can't enjoy any of the time I have left with her (or with my youngest sibling of 10 years, who I likely won't be able to see after the shoe drops) because I'm both hiding my true self and aware of this approaching demise. I hope this doesn't come across insensitive, but it feels like how I'd imagine it would feel to love someone with a terminal illness, in that I'm grieving her even though it hasn't happened yet. I can't even say I particularly love my relatives excepting my 2 younger siblings, so I imagine this is even more devastating for people who have a strong familial bond, but know that it won't be enough.
I don't want this to be completely hopeless because, as a trans man, I know how dangerous that is when you're in a vulnerable emotional state. I know I can build a life for myself outside of blood relatives, and I can be happy. But I need to express this grief.
Submitted July 9, 2023
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utopianparadoxist · 8 months
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I've recently discovered that you've returned in all your glory, and I'm super glad to see it! Really delights me seeing you on my dash <33
My partner, however, scrolled through your blog maybe two minutes reading all your tags and went "damn. OD came back Punished™️ huh."
tbh like? Sort of, yeah, oD as a "person" (he was never really that, he was always sort of a performance I put on for the brand) is straight up dead, I've ego deathed out of being able to be that guy. The name will stick around on the youtube channel, but even there i'm planning character rebrands because doing anything else feels wrong.
but it was real life trauma shit from my parents that pushed me to the brink, not really anything online. The homophobic harassment I got from them over the last month or so pushed me back into being suicidal and also they called the cops on me and got me involuntarily thrown into a hospital i almost got choked to death in! Its been a rough rough fucking couple months, and for all the drama i've relatively spawned, it barely had anything to do with Homestuck.
Losing a lot of my social circle IN homestuck due to my trauma responses didnt help that but whatever, i made new friends pretty quick and feel like letting go of any sense of responsibility to protecting the image of WP or the Epilogues has freed me substantially to just be a fan and hang out trying to make shit. If anything, I feel free!
Especially since it resulted in me FINALLY divorcing my brains stupid twitter addiction and i was immediately rewarded for it with a vibrant new dirkjake and general mlm shipping scene on Tumblr, which honestly, is all I've ever wanted or needed from Homestuck.
I'm still pretty punished and will be until the day I get everything I want from this comic (canon dirkjake soulmate marriage) but that day's coming faster and faster and in the meantime i'm having more fun in this fandom than I have in years.
still, can't w8it.
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the-kennards · 5 months
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I keep reading stories about emotional abuse survivors that get some pushback when they try to open up about the trauma they've endured. People that don't really know what those situations can look like either downplay the severity of the victim's experiences or even doubt the authenticity at all. Trying to explain why it really was "that bad" can be difficult because it requires articulating a structure and system of behaviors that either makes no fucking sense from the outside or composed of elements that, taken by themselves, look fairly benign.
I (mercifully) haven't had outright rejection from the few I've opened up to but there is this tangible disconnect with those that aren't aware of how much damage trauma causes. They'll show sympathy for a father that didn't support his daughter but when I have issues remembering things, difficulty getting tasks done, or act/treat someone differently than they're expecting, suddenly I'm out of line despite my best efforts to explain that I was turned into a high functioning lunatic as a child against my will.
So with all that in mind, I had an idea. Just make shit up. Give a nightmare story to the folks that need one to get it.
"I was a test tube baby raised as part of a human psychology experiment. The director raised me like his kid and effectively turned my entire upbringing into a behavioral focussed trial that turned everything in my life into a results measured performance. To this day, I cannot bring myself to use certain phrases out of fear of further conditioning."
Now let me be clear, you shouldn't dress up your trauma history in a fanciful facade to everyone. You definitely shouldn't lie to your therapist for one. And you really shouldn't do this to people you plan to get close to, or at least make sure whatever nonsense you spew is something you can walk back by explaining yourself later down the line. But the people that merely exist in your life and need an answer to the question "What is wrong with you?" Fuck it. Entertain them! Spread some insanity! They weren't gonna believe you anyway, and even if they did it wouldn't change anything.
What I'm trying to say is that you don't owe anyone sincerity, especially when all it'll do is expose a vulnerability. Our stories should be told, but they should also be listened to. Save yourself the effort of speaking clearly to plugged ears.
- Brig
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whoneedssexed · 10 months
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What are your thoughts on the 'youtube kid celebrities'? You know the ones where the parents film their kids and post it on youtube and get money. The whole thing feels gross to me but I was told that some of them (such as Ryan's World) are okay and the kids get enjoyment out of it.
It's wrong, it's bad, and it usually is abusive.
Who are we asking if they enjoy it? Is it the kids, away from their parents, to people they know won't hurt them if they say no?
And whether they are okay is extremely situational, and the thing is, once you use this kind of content to generate money, you've got a real recipe for disaster.
You're exposing a child to the entire world. You're telling them their names, where they live, their birthdays, and what they do in a day. There is a serious issue with perverts taking these videos or responding to these videos, but there's also the fact you've been made a celebrity without a full understanding of what it means for you.
And people are intense, they are wild and unpredictable. Imagine people crowding around, and threatening, someone - who may still be a minor - as a result of some video of them from 10 years ago when they were 5. It's stuff people do every day to celebrities, and we already have people who behave that way in fandom spaces. Hell, we have people ALREADY doing that with regards to people of viral videos or massive followings - sending threatening messages, threatening letters, doxxing them, etc. It's detrimental to a person's mental health to grow up in such toxicity.
On top of that.. we have countless horrific stories of children in this spotlight being abused, assaulted, killed, etc. It's exploitation and putting a price tag on a child's image is always going to go awry.
Child actors are stereotyped as growing up as "failures" for a reason. Child actors often have a LOT of baggage from the pressure, stress, abuse, and trauma inherent to participating in such a career. Just look at what happened with Britney Spears, she's only recently been able to finally break free of all the absolute bs she's had to deal with her entire life.
I have a link, a timestamp link to a specific point of this video that is extremely relevant. It's a former youtube kid coming forward and talking about their horrible life, and the people of the video discussing the major issues of this.
(CW that they're pretty raucous, raunchy, and flamboyant, so it can be intense, but everything they say is very on point.)
youtube
mod BP
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akirakirxaa · 6 months
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FFXIVWrite Prompt 19: Weal
Rating: T
Word Count: 1575
Warnings: Depictions of physical abuse
Summary: The Emperor pays Valeria's family a visit. [Solus x Empress, Beginning of the Garlean Empire, direct continuation of Prompt 9.]
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Valeria padded as quietly as she could down the steep stairs to the attic door, tying her dress closed as she went. She pressed her ear to the door and strained to hear who might be at the door. She heard the soft noise of one of her sisters’ house boots tap tap tapping across the room to the door, irritated muttering following, and the creak of the door being pulled open.
Silence, or at least nothing that would reach the attic, followed for many moments. Then her sister returning across the room, followed by the sound of much heavier boots. She heard her second sister’s harried footsteps up the stairs to the second level, where the door to the attic was, but headed away from Valeria as she banged on her step-mother’s door.
“Mother, we need you downstairs, we have a…guest,” her sister’s voice was strained, anxious. There was some disgruntled grumbling before Valeria heard her step-mother open the door and follow her sister down the stairs. Assured that all her family were downstairs, she slipped on her house slippers — not what she would normally wear at the start of the day, but much quieter than a pair of boots — and crept out into the corridor, following it down to the landing overlooking the parlor.
She was shocked to see a small contingent of soldiers lined up on the far side of the room nearest the door. Her sisters and step-mother were opposite them. The younger women stood just behind the matriarch, upright but exuding a clearly nervous air. And in the center of the room was the subject of Valeria’s idle musings, Emperor Solus.
“Census records indicate that you have a household of four, yourself and three daughters,” he was saying, making a show of reading over a document he held that he clearly already knew the contents of. “And yet, only two stand here now.”
“I have only two daughters,” her stepmother snapped, glaring. “You must be speaking of my servant.”
“A servant that shares the same family name?” he challenged.
“A distant cousin. We exchange her work for room and board.”
“Interesting, because here—“ the emperor pulled another document from the hand of one of the officers attending, “I see that your late husband had left everything in his will to a ‘Valeria’, until the year before his death, when the beneficiary was changed to you. Neither of the women standing with you introduced themselves as Valeria, so unless he was unusually fond of this ‘distant cousin’, you are a liar.”
From her hiding place, she could see her stepmother’s back stiffen. She couldn’t hear the next words Solus spoke, but she saw her stepmother give a stiff nod before turning for the stairs. Valeria barely had the time to hurry back to her attic room, carefully closing the door as quietly as she could to pretend she hadn’t been eavesdropping. She sat at the shabby vanity she’d been repairing since she was a child, pretending to fuss with her hair as she listened to the approaching footsteps thumping up the stairs, clunking down the hall, before the door squealed upon opening and the furious face of her stepmother stormed in. Valeria turned to act surprised, only for the other woman to greet her with a sharp slap across her face. Valeria grit her teeth, covering the spot with her hands, as her stepmother dragged her to her feet.
“You are becoming more trouble than you’re worth,” she snarled into Valeria’s ear as she dragged her out into the hall. “It would be a boon if they executed you for breaking and entering!” She stormed around Valeria to lead the way down the stairs, and Valeria hesitated for several moments before following, smoothing her shabby dress as she realized she was vastly underdressed for the company. She wondered if he would even recognize her as she started down the stairs.
“There you are, my dear,” he gave her a soft smile, only for it to vanish as he frowned at her bruised eye. He crossed to meet her at the stairs, taking her chin in hand and running one thumb over the weal on her cheek where she’d been slapped. He turned sharply to her family, releasing her face as he did.
“I’ll not mince words. If she accepts, I intend to ask Valeria to be my Empress. I’m sure it will be a great loss—“ the words dripped with sarcasm and fury in equal measure “—but consider it my price for letting you get away with blatantly lying to my face. Should she not accept, I can think of no small number of families that would be happy to adopt a woman with the emperor’s favor and treat her well. Either way, should she wish it, you are to never speak to her again.”
Valeria’s mind had gone blank when she realized what he said. He…wanted to marry her? Her? She was certain she must’ve fallen back asleep while getting ready for the day. Valeria gave herself a quick pinch on one arm, hoping she was being subtle about it, but all it did was leave a red mark on her arm. Perhaps her stepmother realized she had lost, because she only nodded, even as her sisters exchanged concerned glances. Valeria knew it had nothing to do with any familial concerns for her and everything to do with the fact that now they would have to do their own chores.
“Do you need to collect anything before we depart?” Solus turned to ask Valeria kindly, and she glanced up towards the attic door. After a long moment, she shook her head. If she was really, truly escaping this place, she wanted nothing to remind her of it. And most of it was only barely serviceable, anyway.
“Nothing that can’t be replaced,” she murmured. The emperor nodded before offering her his arm, and, after just a moment of again reflecting on how she didn’t look like she belonged on an emperor’s arm, she took it, letting him lead her outside without looking back. Outside, a chill wind blew harshly through the threadbare dress she wore. Solus signaled to a nearby servant, who brought over a long, thick cloak that he placed carefully around her shoulders.
“How did you even know where to look? I didn’t give you my real name,” she dared to ask, and he gave a small, amused smirk.
“You have a very loyal friend, dear.” Satisfied that the cloak would shield her properly from the cold, he led her towards a large machine, some magitek thing Valeria wasn’t familiar with that resembled a carriage. “She was ready to take your name to her grave if I hadn’t assured her I had nothing but good intentions. Her deal was that if she told me your name, I had to get you away from your family. Now I see why.” His gaze hardened again as he took in the bruising on her face.
“Y-you said you wanted… That you…”
“Want you to marry me?” He gave a soft smile as he lifted one of her hands to his lips, and, despite the cold, she felt like her face was on fire. “Would you?”
She hesitated. She barely knew him. They’d had a good time at the ball, it’s true, and he did just save her from a life of suffering with her family, but… She had no idea who he really was. Perhaps he could see the conflict in her face, because he dropped her hand gently, giving her space.
“You can tell the truth, I’ll accept it either way,” he assured her.
“I… It’s not that I don’t want to, but… we hardly know each other!” Valeria stared down at her slippered feet, growing colder by the moment. “I just… I always imagined being courted properly. You know, wooed, treated to dinners, getting to know the person I’m to spend the rest of my life with. I didn’t ever think I would get it, but… I dreamed.” She glanced up nervously, only to see a delighted smile illuminating Solus’s face.
“If that’s all, there’s nothing saying we have to get married tomorrow. If the lady wants to be courted, then that’s what she’ll get,” he opened the door, ignoring the officer that had stepped forward to do so, and helped her inside. It was far warmer than outside, and the interior was plush and comfortable. He took the spot across from her, the door closing behind him. She jumped as the machine rumbled to life and started to move.
“Is this your first time using magitek?” he asked curiously, and she nodded. “Much more comfortable than beast powered carriages. Faster too. We’ll be at the palace soon.”
“I’m sorry if it was presumptuous of me to not bring any of my belongings,” she apologized. He laughed.
“Valeria, even had you brought everything you owned, do you really think I wouldn’t give my empress anything she wished for?” He reached for her hand, holding it in both of his. “Don’t worry about any of it. I will take care of you the way you deserve to be.” Valeria felt tears welling up for hells knew what reason, and she swallowed thickly before nodding. They spent the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, and she couldn’t help but wonder if her life could truly turn around so easily.
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quill-of-thoth · 1 year
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Letters from Watson, catching up
The Speckled Band: Crimes in Context Inheritance The Speckled Band is the first example we’re getting in this reading order of a sub-genre of Holmes’ cases: inheritance crimes against women, so to understand it we’re going to have to take a look at the structure of Victorian inheritance. Thankfully, it is usually spelled out what each woman in canon is entitled to - unfortunately this is because the law could not be relied upon to guarantee her anything.  Modernly, inheritance is something that someone might get when a relative dies: It was a more common concern in the victorian era, where the life expectancy for anyone who survived to the age of five is cited by papers I was able to find as anything from 60 to 75, (Compared to pre-covid numbers of early 80′s - 79 for males, 83 for females - in the UK, according to the ONS [Office of National Statistics], and 79 in the US according to the CDC.) Infectious disease prior to antibiotics, the number of wars that the British empire was waging at any given time, and a maternal mortality rate of around five percent meant that adults dying young, or suddenly, was more common than today. It was also not expected that middle and upper class women would work outside the home: if they did it was usually a sign that the family was not doing well, and in danger of no longer being middle class. A number of Holmes’ clients are women in this specific economic position: with less economic security or control over their finances because they were unmarried, often working as a governess, one of the jobs considered appropriate for unmarried middle class women. The majority of them have some sort of inheritance or trust that they have extremely limited access to until they marry - at which point the money is legally theirs, and they can set up trusts for their children as they see fit.  The structure of these trusts and inheritances makes them ripe for abuse by male guardians: while a parent might leave their daughters a hefty sum, they might also leave the money somewhat accessible by other male relatives to provide for the daughters’ schooling, social opportunities, etc. Since the daughters would have no means of securing more money of their own (due to not working) this custodial arrangement could last indefinitely.  Helen Stoner’s mother had, either via a trust or inheritance, a thousand pounds (92,000 pounds / 113,000 USD) per year. She was married to an officer, and widowed when her twins were less than a year old (inferring from the two year mourning period.) Likely she didn’t know Dr. Roylott very well at the time of their marriage, but a marriage would mean that she and her children didn’t have to find their own way back from India. Dr. Roylott had an estate but not the money to support it - a thousand pounds a year plus whatever he made while in India,  would definitely help in that regard. 
About ten years ago Dr. Roylott murdered a member of their household staff in India, and only barely escaped execution for it. Possibly because the man he murdered was Indian rather than British, possibly because the Roylotts were pretty rich by the standards of where they were residing and the murdered man was a servant. Either way, the family returned to England legally and financially in the power of a very violent man, and although the Stoner twins were in their late teens or early twenties at the time they were as powerless to leave the household as their mother, who had signed over her entire fortune to the man until her daughters’ marriage. Mrs. Roylott died in an accident shortly after their return. I can only infer that her husband having sole control of six figures (four figures at the time) except for a post-marriage portion for each daughter was only in effect until her death. Therefore, Dr. Roylott decides to return to his hereditary estates and isolate his stepdaughters there - much less chance of their getting married if they’re removed from London society and all the neighbors are terrified of him.  Family Abuse Helen doesn’t go into a lot of detail about Dr. Roylott’s behavior to herself, her sister, and their mother, but based on what we know modernly about men who are constantly committing violent acts in their community, and the evidence that he abused Helen, it is very likely that Dr. Roylott abused his wife. While Watson records Helen as saying that her mother died in a train accident while the family lived in London, he would have had a motive to fictionalize that - if Mrs. Roylott was killed, likely beaten to death like his previous victim, by her husband it would be more scandalous than him beating a servant to death in India, more traceable by acquaintances of the family, and less suitable material for a family magazine. A man murdering his stepdaughters via snake may have felt more appropriate to the Victorian audience than spousal abuse.  Murder, and Milk-Drinking Snakes Dr. Roylott definitely murdered Julia Stoner, is attempting to murder Helen, and for the purposes of Watson’s story, the murder weapon is a venomous snake. There are a lot of inconsistencies surrounding the snake. Julia’s autopsy found no trace of poison, but it’s always possible that faced with a venomous snake from India, the coroner didn’t know what to look for. There are no obvious snakebite marks, but it’s also possible to miss those. The snake is apparently trained to respond to whistles and rewarded by drinking milk. Snakes, are, however, reptiles: while you can train them to be accustomed to human handling, training them to enter a vent and return is very implausible. They also don’t digest lactose, and don’t even need to drink very often. There’s also the fact that you can’t just throw a snake in a room with a sleeping person and be sure that it will bite them, and that it will deliver a fatal dose of venom if it does. This is a lot of implausibilities, bordering on impossibilities. It makes a person wonder if one of the alleged “impossibilities” that were previously examined is possible after all. Particularly if one has coincidentally been reading how locks work. The modern door lock is not infallible, but it is significantly more complex than the late victorian door lock: we have better precision machining, so on average there are more springs and pins inside the lock, and more and smaller teeth on the key. Meaning that it takes longer to pick a lock using little tools to press each pin into the correct position, and also that you have to be more precise about the position. Because Stoke Moran is an old manor that was uninhabited for approximately twenty years while the Roylott-Stoner family lived in India, and the family fortunes were low since the regency, it’s unlikely to have modern (for the era) locks. At a guess, the latest the locks could have been updated is the 1810′s.  It is extremely possible for a doctor, who presumably has some skill with surgical tools, and who has plotted for several months to murder his stepdaughter to prevent her marriage, to spend that time learning to pick a by then obsolete lock, instead of importing and training a snake. It’s equally possible for him to have access to a variety of poisons, whether they were thought to have any medical use or not, since the Victorian household used a lot of poisons as pesticides. Then too, he receives goods from India regularly - it doesn’t have to be a common poison. It could even actually be snake venom: though the first process of milking snakes for venom in order to test antidotes was published in 1891, it’s possible that there were significantly earlier, unrecorded attempts. Especially considering how many people throughout history have wanted to poison each other.  A more plausible scenario is that Julia was murdered in the following way: Dr. Roylott looked through the vent, which must be large enough to try to see through if a decently sized snake can squeeze through it, to check that she was asleep, making a slight noise and shedding just enough light that he could see if she was lying awake in the dark or not, and on the nights that it did not wake her, he opened the door, possibly by picking the lock, possibly because the doors to his stepdaughters’ bedrooms were never actually secure, administered some kind of poison, possibly by injection, and left her there to die. Julia woke up as the poison ran its course, tried to light a candle, screamed, and was found by her sister. Dr. Roylott gave her brandy, knowing that it would do nothing, and waited.  When the time came to murder Helen, he first attempted to intimidate her. “Livid” bruises, or bluish black ones, are two days to around a week old. Dr. Roylott, if the housekeeper leaves once Helen is gone, cannot maintain the family home on his own - as a landed gentleman he would not know how, and when he attempted to hire servants they left immediately. Helen is doing some, possibly still a full half, of the work of the house that keeps him comfortable.  She also worked her hardest to keep the family name in acceptable shape whenever he attacked another person in their community, it’s possible that made life much easier for him. And a coroner faced with two mysterious deaths in the same household in two years is going to be suspicious, even if the official cause of Julia’s death is basically listed as fright.  Maybe he tried a similar tactic on Julia, maybe he didn’t: both twins were slightly old for a first marriage, with Julia dead at thirty and Helen now thirty two. If he could scare either into calling it off, the chances of their marrying would decrease every year. 
 The intimidation of Helen failed - he had her moved into the bedroom he could most easily access. He checked whether she was asleep. She wasn’t: she lit the lamp immediately, but he had plenty of time. He was already going to london on business in the morning, possibly even to make sure he would have no trouble accessing her inheritance (though likely under the pretense of checking in on it so it would properly be distributed to her upon her marriage). If he’d managed to administer the poison that night, an early morning trip to the city might even give him an alibi - of course he hadn’t seen her since a decent hour the night before, he was up early to do business in town! He assumed the dear girl was still asleep. She works so hard, you know, and with her wedding coming up - and remembering her sister’s tragic demise only two years ago - she must be exhausted.  Either the housekeeper would discover her death at some point in the day while he was gone, or he could “discover” her death quite late upon his return, leaving even less for the coroner to conclude, but that won’t stop him from trying again tomorrow night, since he can always adjust his story, with only the elderly housekeeper able to deny it.  Imagine his surprise when he finds that she’s gone to London - to see a detective, no less! She has no evidence, and even if Holmes sees her bruises it’s not like he has any standing to intervene, but Roylott rages and threatens him anyway. And when Roylott finds Holmes and Watson on his estate at night, investigating, with his stepdaughter missing, he attacks them: one of them shoots him in self defense. It’s also possible that he did meet his end because of one of his exotic pets, loose in the night, while pursuing them.  Nearly a decade later, perhaps immediately after successfully publishing a dramatic tale regarding he and Holmes coming to the aid of a young woman connected with exotic crimes in India, Watson recalls the adventure, begins to write it up, and realizes halfway through that it’s a simple tale of greed and cruelty. Eventually, he inserts the snake for a dash of the fantastic, obscures Helen’s identity further, and publishes it anyway, because although Helen is dead, he’s still proud of the work he and Holmes did saving her life, freeing her from her abusive stepfather, and allowing her to spend her too-brief married life in relative peace. If he had to, he’d do it again.
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traumatizedjaguar · 1 year
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planetary · 6 months
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probably one of my funniest but also fucked up 13yo cringe moments is when my aunt threatened to give me 2 black eyes and i said “LIKE ABADDON THE QUEEN OF HELL?” from supernatural. and that meant absolutely nothing to her of course but at least i thought i was epic before getting punched in the head
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aroaceconfessions · 1 year
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just realized my partner feels familial attraction and i don't. i never have. idk how to even feel about this. but i guess ive never felt familial love or attraction even for the family i was born into. my partner was abused horrifically for 20 years by his birth family and now he's ashamed to feel familially attracted to certain people in his life that are authentically kind to him, and i want to support him but i worry that since i don't experience that kind of thing myself i might say something wrong. i just can't seem to recall a time i've felt what he's describing, like, even my brothers, I love them but platonically, i want to be friends with them. i never wanted siblings or parents, i wanted a community of friends that care for each other.
tldr; i'm afamilial but never knew apparently? since i guess platonic attraction is pretty easy to mistake for familial attraction and im alloplatonic. also people don't seem to talk very often about familial attraction, just familial love. i guess that's probably because there's a stigma against found family and people born without families. idk
Submitted February 17, 2023
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piizunn · 9 months
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i cant fucking believe i just apologized to my abuser when he hasn’t ever apologized to me in my years of knowing him
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localtransvamp · 29 days
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When ur having a bad day and none of the food in the house is edible without vomiting, and it's already noon and u haven't ate anything other than a bit of toast that made u feel worse, so u ask ur father, who is the one completely controlling ur existence as a disabled person, to help you not be in excruciating hunger pain, and he growls at you and calls you an inconvenience
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