#family dysfunction
skooterskootyskoot · 5 months ago
Anyone notice how Abuela only interacts with Pepa when she tells her she has a cloud/is storming (which is obvious and helps nothing) and to calm down in a harsh expectant tone rather than acknowledge her daughters emotions and help her through them, which is probably what caused Pepa to learn how to compartmentalize all of her negative emotions, probably being the major contributor to her emotional instability?
Anyone notice how Felix affectionately brushes away her brewing storm clouds when he can and when Pepa looks at him the cloud goes away?
Anyone notice how Felix, Dolores, Camilo, and Antonio all wear yellow along with Pepa in order to help her by surrounding her with “sunshine” to help her be happy and chipper?
Anyone notice how even Felix has his couple moments of exasperation, and the only person we see actually attempting to calm Pepa down is Camilo, who speaks calmly and soothingly while offering her tea?
Anyone notice that it’s not until her BROTHER tells her “your bro loves you so” and to let it rain, let it snow, letting her know that he loves her no matter the weather and she should let her emotions happen?
Anyone notice when Felix remarks “that’s what I’ve been saying, bro!” implying that he had been saying that to Pepa all along, but in order to actually believe it, she needed to hear it from Bruno, who she believed so deep down that she possibly wasn’t aware, might have left because she blamed him for “ruining” her wedding, when it was actually ruined by her hurricane, and him leaving proved to her that if she doesn’t keep the skies clear, those who she loves most will turn away from her?
Anyone notice that even though her family (except Abuela) isn’t sure how exactly to help, they still try in their own ways and eventually the right person says the right thing that gets through to her?
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screaming--agony · 7 months ago
Dear Diary,
The amount of disrespect from people I deeply care about is so overwhelming I cry. I’m not mad anymore, it makes me sad.
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magicalmoonstrawberry · 8 months ago
I can't talk right now, I'm doing eldest daughter shit.
*raising my brother while simultaneously not getting involved too much or else I'm going to get yelled at*
*calling my dad out on his shit*
*being a third parent*
*teaching my brother and cousin English because no one else in my family can and I apparently sound like I'm British even though I'm literally not*
*constantly burned out*
*being my mum's therapist*
*being my friend's therapist*
*being an exact replica of my dad*
*giving more affection to my brother than anyone else because I don't want him to end up like me*
*being unable to express verbal affection*
*found family is one of my favourite tropes*
*wanting to move out for college but being too scared to leave my brother alone*
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thehealingplum · 5 months ago
Mom is acting like dad is the only reason I'm fucked up. Acting like she didn't dump on her children emotionally. Constantly. Making promises and breaking them. Reminding us how much we should be hurting because she was hurting.
Maybe if both of them had put their pride aside and gotten help, I wouldn't be carrying this burden. But I am. And all I want to do is sleep forever.
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cheryljmuir · 9 months ago
If you get sucked back into old dynamics and get placed into an old role when you’re with your family, it’s worth checking in with yourself and resetting the boundary of how much time you’re able to spend with them before your emotional wellbeing takes a nosedive.⁣
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themuselesswriter · 3 months ago
Imagine: You are Sam and Dean’s little sister and they pick you up to go find your dad
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“Hello boys”
“Thank you for meeting us, we need your help… dad’s been missing”
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“Dean, i thought I lost you!”
“Don’t worry about it princess, I’m fine”
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“You wouldn’t understand how I’m feeling!”
“Sure, but I know neither mom or Jess would’ve wanted you to turn into a dick to us”
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“Something is moving!”
“I got it”
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let-love-be-our-legacy · a year ago
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phieee · a year ago
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Most of the things I read in the ACA books is exactly the same as having bpd
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deathofthelastromantics-blog · 10 months ago
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"I don't mind your shadows, cause they look a lot like mine. "
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There is a lot of shaming, dangerous and inaccurate “guidance” put out about forgiveness in both the recovery community and in many spiritual teachings. Many survivors of dysfunctional families have been injured by the simplistic, black-and-white advice that they must embrace a position of being totally and permanently forgiving in order to recover.
Unfortunately, those who take the advice to forgive abuses that they have not fully grieved, abuses that are still occurring, and/or abuses so heinous they should and could never be forgiven, often find themselves getting nowhere in their recovery process.
In fact, the possibility of attaining real feelings of forgiveness is usually lost when there is a premature, cognitive decision to forgive. This is because premature forgiveness mimics the defenses of denial and repression. It keeps unprocessed feelings of anger and hurt about childhood trauma out of awareness.
Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker
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screaming--agony · 10 months ago
Dear Diary,
If you make me feel like I’m the last person you want to interact with, I’ll step back and not bother you.
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manie-sans-delire-x · 4 months ago
Sure eldest daughter is often made to be mini mom but can we also talk about how youngest daughter is fathers son?
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healingchildhoodtrauma · a year ago
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thehealingplum · 6 months ago
If your parents are still treating you like a child well into your adult years, get the fuck out.
They are always going to see you as a child and will continuously try to control your life because they don’t think you can make decisions of your own.
You are an adult. You’re allowed to make decisions for yourself. You don’t owe your family shit.
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butterfly0008 · a year ago
I had a non-verbal episode yesterday morning, after my birthday I had gotten quite depressed and yesterday I was able to take a bath but I didn't eat anything. I didn't want to and couldn't speak, it irritated me to have to say more than one word, and my parents ask stupid questions. They got mad at me because of that, because of my face, because I don't want to eat, because I'm picky, they called me the r-word, but later they told me that I'm normal and that I only behave like that so that others will feel sorry for me. I don't understand why they manage to think those things, they don't make sense.
They threatened to hit me, I couldn't look at them or answer them, I tried to hold on not crying and distract myself with my phone but it didn't help, if I showed irritation it would be worse. My partner was there seeing everything uncomfortable, because he had to accompany me early to leave the house. If he was not there, surely I would have an attack and sleep all day.
now i feel better i guess
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phieee · a year ago
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Relapse - Emotional Relapse
i really needed this page right now 💗
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brattylove · a year ago
UGH! I can't wait until I can move out of my parents' house again. Tbh it would be better for us all for me not to live with them. I stress them out, they stress me out. My mother thinks I hate her and sure she gets on my hecking nerves, drives me crazy but she's my mom. We just can't live under the same roof. My dad tries to be understanding but he doesn't understand because there are aspects of my life that I can't/won't ever share with either of them. I need find a way out of their house permanently, so we can all be at peace.
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indigochild1958 · a year ago
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dearjewels22 · 7 months ago
I’m really possessive and stingy.
...But I’m an only child so what’s mine has always been only mine.
Don’t touch my things!
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screaming--agony · 6 months ago
Dear Diary,
Holidays are complicated. I don’t want gifts. I want to be wanted.
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