With the release of Chapter 11 on CN, I need to mull over the new information revealed about Shining (AND Nightingale) and thus make any connections to the wild speculation I had after Shining’s module. I know several of my speculations have been debunked with this. My thoughts and observations are all over the place, I apologize. Spoilers ahead.
(From left to right: Salus, Confessarius, Shining)
To start off, the woman on the left is a relative of both Shining and Confessarius, most likely a cousin, or someone distant. She calls them family, and belongs to the same “clan”, but I don’t think she’s a particularly close relative, if only because she looks way different and Shining’s module put emphasis on a bloodline’s purity, to the point where even her parents looked similar to each other. (Creepy implications? Yes). As we have learned, Confessors are not just an occupation, but an ancient subrace of Sarkaz.
I was wrong about the inherent Arts of Confessors being necromancy, it seems like their true ability is being able to draw out memories from the previously-established Sarkaz Collective Consciousness, and transfer them into a body, to “recreate” an individual.
Anyway, the BIGGEST bombshell that was dropped in regards to these characters is that Nightingale was indeed confirmed to be an experiment.
Salus: By the way, Shining, the subject that you took away... Well, what was her name again? Lisa... or was it Liz? Is she okay?
Shining: ... Liz is fine.
Salus: Is her Oripathy getting worse? She has a very special body, you know, even that... that... medical organization you found, even with Lord Kal'tsit around, they may not really be able to help her. It's great that she's back in Londinium now though, your lab is still here, you can bring her back anytime...
Shining: ...
An experiment for what? It’s not entirely clear, but the prevailing theories are either:
1) to bring people back to life. Specifically: to transfer someone’s memories into another body. Even more specific: transferring Theresa’s memories. Nightingale is a “prototype” of the resurrected Theresa.
Or 2) to transfer the power of the Lord of Fiends into a body. Because Theresa chose Amiya as her heir.
If Liz was meant to have Theresa’s memories, even as a test run, that explains why she was able to recognize Doctor despite never having met them before, as well as her saying that Amiya gives her deja vu!
I had previously assumed that Liz’s unexplained familiarity with them was due to the Sarkaz Collective Memory. A sort of... in-universe Cloud, that gets added to whenever a Sarkaz dies and other living Sarkaz are able to unknowingly access it to varying degrees, thereby possessing memories that aren’t necessarily their own (see Surtr). But I think... collective memory wouldn’t have worked... if Liz was already dead.
It’s currently not clear whether Liz was still alive or already a corpse before experimentation. She is very sickly, so it wouldn’t come as a surprise if she did end up dying in the process. Remember that Oripathy is not the sole cause for her current frail state.
As for what I think between the two possibilities? I think the Confessors forcibly injected Originium into Liz in order to try and transplant Theresa’s memories into her. According to the info we learned from Ptilopsis, Originium is capable of storing information.
It’s possible that Liz’s amnesia is because she is basically a reanimated corpse, or her mind got messed up somewhere during the transfer. Her Oripathy is getting worse, her body is deteriorating, falling apart (literally?).
Confessarius: Is the food not to your taste, my dear sister?
Salus: Don't be so silent, you finally came home, do you really want to be so indifferent?
Salus: If this is because of what happened to Liz... I apologize. But you should know that Liz is not an ordinary infected person.
Salus: Besides, from whom did her suffering and consciousness come from?And from whom did her pain and memory come from? When she recalls these things, will you still be able to get along with her?
Salus: She's not our family after all, you want to—
Shining: She is my family.
Salus: ... oh...
Salus: But... but if you don't come back to us, she will become an empty shell sooner or later. Don't forget why she was made the way she is.
Salus: If you truly value her that much, then I sincerely hope that her end will not be too tragic. Come back, okay?
Salus: You will not fail to understand.
Shining: ...
However, the Confessors say that the result wound up being flawed, imperfect. Liz��s original mind is still somewhere, possibly locked away, as written in her profile? She has some vestiges of Theresa’s memories, but isn’t wholly Theresa, like what her captors wanted her to be. Liz was an experiment on how to get a dead person’s memory (and remove emotion associated with it)
While Salus was trying to convince Shining to return to them, Confessarius adds that Liz’s body is “an archaic cage. If necessary, we can weave a new one”. Shining, of course, is having NONE of it. She will not put Liz through that again.
What’s also interesting is that both Confessarius and Salus remark on how long Confessors have been around; according to them, it’s thousands of years. And in those years, Confessors have been misunderstood in more ways than one. This could be a reference as to how resurrection is seen as heretical or sacrilegious in Sarkaz culture, because death is the final peace which must not ever be disturbed.
Moreover, going back on bloodlines, Salus’s own experiments have her trying and failing to separate emotions from memory during a transfer. Whatever progress she makes, it doesn’t last long until the memory itself vanishes. Presumably this is because her lineage isn’t as pure, whereas Shining and Confessarius are able to capture whole “moments” of memory from the collective Sarkaz consciousness.
Salus goes on to describe how “none of [Theresa and Theresis]’s ancestors have even been noticed by Confessors, and we have never collected their bloodline memories. Even if The Lord of Fiends had chosen the sister, it would not prove her brother.”
This makes me wonder if the Confessors had also acted as Kazdel’s recordkeepers, or some sort of archivists.
The leader of the Confessors wordlessly sipped his wine.
Shining could feel that Salus had activated a spell. She can draw her sword and leave, it can be done, but then what?
Will this really find her a way to save Liz?
Confessarius: Shining. I allow you to act alone. I allow you not to come back to me for a while. But... don't interfere with the Regent's plans. Don't interfere with the Sarkaz's journey to our long-awaited future.
Confessarius: Shining. My sister. No one, no matter how much they spurn their bloodline and long to be free of those shackles, can ever truly deny it. There is no point in denying the Divine Right of this gift of blood.
Shining: I thought you already knew. You can't make everything happen the way you want it to... Patriarch.
Lastly SHINING JOINS THE BATTLEFIELD IN AN OFFENSIVE ROLE MEANING SHINING ALT WHEN
Confessor Guard: You still came to this battlefield. Once again you have disobeyed the will of the leader.
Shining: If my actions are still subject to his control, wouldn't my departure be meaningless?
Confessor Guard: You hate the leader so much?
Shining: ...
...no.
It was never him that I hated.
I hate myself.
The mask on the guard's face cracked, and the Confessor’s scabbard reflected his expression before he fell. Shining stared at him, her eyes both calm and sad. Once again, the last flash of the fire of a creature--stained her sword forever.
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Over the weekend, I watched some Bob's Burgers with my husband, and we watched the most recent episode where Rudy was the main character. My husband got a little sad at the end, and said "Cartoons aren't supposed to make me cry, I'm supposed to laugh."
We both laughed a little, and I told him he better not finish Gravity Falls with me. 😬
But it made me think, once again on Gravity Falls, and it's impact on me. I had to go into another room, because I got a little emotional, and thought about how it seemed to show up at a really low point for me, and people I would have never met followed. I had a somber moment, thinking on (hopefully) years from now, I might be alone again, with people passing on, or myself, and we'll still have those connections in that media to each other. It already had a legacy, but I hope that it stays a good memory in my future, because I'm the youngest of 5 kids, and there's a huge age gap, so at some point, I know I'll be alone, with little family, at least biologically.
But family beyond that I hope exists for awhile, because I got chosen by them, and it retains a special place in my heart because of that.
I really need to go back to bed. I'm thinking too hard and too sad this early.
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okay insane thought about names and the feelings i have about them as a transgender blended family kid. it requires a leap of logic where the fantasy high parent couples remain dating and get married or otherwise legally bind themselves together but follow me on this for a moment. also i don’t know or care if this follows canon im just deciding it does
gilear took sandra lynn’s last name
could not afford to change it after the divorce
gilear is just one of those ppl who really likes having the same last name as his life partners, doesn’t have to be his name, he just thinks it’s nice
(sandra lynn liked her name and though she has Many Issues and might have changed her name in an attempt at normalcy gilear’s name was definitely something outlandishly stupid and he suggested it first anyway so it worked out)
do u see where im going with this
gilear seacaster.
fabian is furious but this ain’t about him
something so funny about taking your (way funnier if they don’t even get married) girlfriend’s dead husband’s last name
he keeps faeth as a middle name bc it’s still a connection to fig that he values and wants to keep
anyway. jawbone hears about all of this. absolutely loves it. thinks it’s awesome
jawbone o’shaughnessy-faeth!
yes with the apostrophe and the hyphen. yes every time.
he likes the connection to gilear and fig as much as he does the one to sandra lynn <3
when consulted fig was SUPER enthusiastic about another dad. gilear was like sigh. that might as well happen. im already being dunked upon by my mean stepson. go ahead.
okay the grand finale. the reason i even made this fucking post
adaine kills her dad, gets adopted, and starts to wonder if she should change her name
adaine makes amends with her sister, and starts to wonder if she should keep it
jawbone lets her know right away that he’ll support her decision no matter what, but it takes a long time for her to decide
it takes watching gilear and fabian bicker over their shared last name, watching fig get sappy over gilear holding onto the name faeth, watching fig and jawbone get sappy over THEIR shared last name, watching sandra lynn hide a smile whenever it comes up, watching, watching, watching
watching her sister learn and grow and love her unconditionally
she makes her decision, and when her dad brings her home from the fantasy dmv, there’s a new name on her ID
adaine abernant-o’shaughnessy-faeth. yes all three names. yes with the apostrophe. yes with the hyphens. every time
it’s for her dad, yes, for the man who gave her a home, who helped her find her strength, who is always her safe space, but it’s for more then that too
it’s for her sister, who for better or worse is in all of her earliest memories. who never underestimated her. who’s trying, every day
it’s for her sister, who called her awesome on the first day of school. who’s always there for her. who wears her heart on her sleeve and teaches adaine it’s okay to be emotional. who’s her best friend
it’s for the man who took her in when he had next to nothing to offer, who shared his extra garlic knots and vending machine snacks, who hosted his daughters strange friends night after night without question or complaint
and it’s for the elven woman sitting across from her at the dinner table, who understands her greatest fear better then anyone else and has built a life for herself despite her mistakes. who protected her on their quest. who opened her house for about 6 teenagers to live there permanently and anywhere between 3 and 10 more to hang out as much as they want
adaine abernant-o’shaughnessy-faeth, the people’s oracle <3
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Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️
That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.
If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:
Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest
Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.
Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.
I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:
Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)
Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle
Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement
Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:
When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation
Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks
Stretch after binding
Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest
If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method
Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it
In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.
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i’ve been thinking a lot about what is so unique and appealing about 80s robin jay’s moral standing that got completely lost in plot later on. and i think a huge part of it is that in a genre so focused on crime-fighting, his motivations and approach don’t focus on the category of crime at all. in fact, he doesn’t seem to believe in any moral dogma; and it’s not motivated by nihilism, but rather his open-heartedness and relational ethical outlook.
we first meet (post-crisis) jay when he is stealing. when confronted about his actions by bruce he’s confident that he didn’t do anything wrong – he’s not apologetic, he doesn’t seem to think that he has morally failed on any account. later on, when confronted by batman again, jay says that he’s no “crook.” at this point, the reader might assume that jay has no concept of wrong-doing, or that stealing is just not one of the deeds that he considers wrong-doing. yet, later on we see jay so intent on stopping ma gunn and her students, refusing to be implicit in their actions. there are, of course, lots of reasons for which we can assume he was against stealing in this specific instance (an authority figure being involved, the target, the motivations, the school itself being an abusive environment etc.), but what we gather is that jay has an extremely strong sense of justice and is committed to moral duty. that's all typical for characters in superhero comics, isn't it? however, what remains distinctive is that this moral duty is not dictated by any dogma – he trusts his moral instincts. this attitude – his distrust toward power structures, confidence in his moral compass, and situational approach, is something that is maintained throughout his robin run. it is also evident in how he evaluates other people – we never see him condemning his parents, for example, and that includes willis, who was a petty criminal. i think from there arises the potential for a rift between bruce and jay that could be, have jay lived, far more utilised in batman comics than it was within his short robin run.
after all, while bruce’s approach is often called a ‘philosophy of love and care,’ he doesn’t ascribe to the ethics of care [eoc] (as defined in modern scholarship btw) in the same way that jay does. ethics of care ‘deny that morality consists in obedience to a universal law’ and focus on the ideals of caring for other people and non-institutionalized justice. bruce, while obviously caring, is still bound by his belief in the legal system and deontological norms. he is benevolent, but he is also ultimately morally committed to the idea of a legal system and thus frames criminals as failing to meet these moral (legal-adjacent) standards (even when he recognizes it is a result of their circumstances). in other words, he might think that a criminal is a good person despite leading a life of crime. meanwhile, for jay there is no despite; jay doesn't think that engaging in crime says anything about a person's moral personality at all. morality, for him, is more of an emotional practice, grounded in empathy and the question of what he can do for people ‘here and now.’ he doesn’t ascribe to maxims nor utilitarian calculations. for jay, in morality, there’s no place for impartiality that bruce believes in; moral decisions are embedded within a net of interpersonal relationships and social structures that cannot be generalised like the law or even a “moral code” does it. it’s all about responsiveness.
to sum up, jay's moral compass is relative and passionate in a way that doesn't fit batman's philosophy. this is mostly because bruce wants to avoid the sort of arbitrariness that seems to guide eoc. also, both for vigilantism, and jay, eoc poses a challenge in the sense that it doesn't create a certain 'intellectualised' distance from both the victims and the perpetrators; there's no proximity in the judgment; it's emotional.
all of this is of course hardly relevant post-2004. there might be minimal space for accommodating some of it within the canon progression (for example, the fact that eoc typically emphasises the responsibility that comes with pre-existing familial relationships and allows for prioritizing them, as well as the flexibility regarding moral deliberations), but the utilitarian framework and the question of stopping the crime vs controlling the underworld is not something that can be easily reconciled with jay’s previous lack of interest in labeling crime.
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