#family offense

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

I'm allowed to make this joke, but I love that Jewish death rituals are like:

"Pfeh, for what should I spend $12,000 on a big fekakte box they see only for five minutes before they cover it with dirt?"

"Don't waste my good suit what might fit my nephew Lev if the bum should ever even try to get a real job!"

"Embalming? Don't mind me, I'll rot in the dark."

#There is standardized Yiddish transliteration and I fart in it's general direction #Anyway Jewish ritual plain box simple shift closed casket no embalming #Spend money on bagels for after #There are a lot of prescribed behaviors for how to behave at the Shiva (mourning house calls) #My family observes none of them. We treat it like a family reunion #If you want all my petty family funeral drama though maybe a different post? #But seriously Christian funerals are such a huge scam. Taking advantage of people at their most vulnerable. #If you have an iron stomach go read about what happens to a corpse when it decays in a vacuum sealed coffin #Death #Death rituals #Judaism #jewish #Jumblr #Jew stuff #post o' mine #Clearing out the drafts #Offensive Yiddish accent clichés are for Jews only. #For this we came to America? To get made fun of on the feygele website by our great grandchildren?

[goatsghost]

i still think it’s insanely funny that bruce comes back from the time stream and decides they’re gonna have a family movie night, while FULLY AWARE that jason is currently in arkham

like bruce i think your favoritism is showing just a lil bit here lmao

(batman and robin 2009)

#batman and robin 2009 #ggw liveblog #mine #dick grayson #bruce wayne #damian wayne #tim drake #alfred pennyworth #jason todd #to be fair it is red headed jason so i think that’s a punishable offense tbh #ok but actually being fr here #jason was being very difficult and was a minor villain for dick and damian at the time #and bruce had jason kept in arkham to protect him from the other prisoners AND protect the other prisoners FROM jason lol #i genuinely do find it funny and silly that bruce hosted a movie night with the family and did not even consider jason’s whereabouts #it’s sad when you think about it for too long but as a passing joke it’s kinda funny lol

[bytebun]

anti social social club (weekly meetings on mt. coronet)

#pokemon legends arceus #ingo #melli #akari #submas #bytebun draws #pla #to me. ingo is like the manager at idk mcdonalds with his troubled teenage coworkers. except the mcdonalds is being a miko to pokemon god. #also if anything akari would be the manager. #despite being amnesiac & probably having fleas he's the most normal guy there simply cuz he's not a teenager #i don't actually think melli is a teen but he certainly acts like one #no offense to anybody actually bald these reactions r based off of my asian family's reaction the the british princes every single time #'there's no way he's in his 30s' i don't know what to tell you mom. sometimes it just be like that for white guys

[sincerelyourswhistledown]

I want a modern mafia fic where after the incident at Driftmark everyone in the family starts to treat Lucerys differently. Aemond loses an eye and Viserys actually gives a shit and punishes Luke. Rhaenyra and Jacaerys are horrified at what Luke does, he has always been such a sweet and kind boy and to see him hurt Aemond like that scared everyone. Nevermind that Aegon and Aemond have always picked on Lucerys and always made him feel left out. Funnily enough, this is the incident that fixes the rift between Alicent and Rhaenyra, with Rhaenyra feeling very guilty over what her son did.

So Lucerys grows up isolated and neglected by his own family. Don’t get me wrong, Rhaenyra still wholeheartedly loves Lucerys but years of forcing him to meet psychiatrists and taking meds he doesn’t want to take has taken a great toll on him.

He’s eighteen, severely depressed and anxious downing dozens of meds when he decides that enough is enough and eventually leaves the Red Keep. Like completely disappears, he cuts off both Targaryens and Velaryons and no one ever hears from him again.

Cut to five or ten years later, Aemond meets Lucerys again and he’s surprised to see how different the boy is. Gone was the sweet and shy toddler or the quiet and anxious teen, in front of him was this cold, no-nonsense, calculative man. Unlike Aemond and the rest of the Targaryens, Lucerys has never thought of them again and went on his merry way to live his life of freedom and debauchery.

To Aemond’s horror, Lucerys is now working as a camboy while also occasionally fucking this shady businessman (alleged mafia). Aemond tries to persuade him to come back but he’s like “fuck off” and disappears again. Fortunately FOR Aemond, his uncle Daemon’s the infamous “Rogue Prince” of the Underworld, the scandalous brother of dutiful Viserys Targaryen who refused to work for the company and decided to become a criminal instead. Unfortunately for Lucerys, Aemond is nothing but OBSESSED.

IDK just give me Lucerys growing up abused and neglected and cutting his family off to go and live his life only for Aemond to stalk his ass because according to him Lucerys’ place is with the family, right by his side.

#lucemond #aemond targaryen #lucerys velaryon #hotd #aemond targaryen x lucerys velaryon #aemond x lucerys #house of the dragon #idk I just want Lucerys to look at his crazy targaryen family and go “nope I’m out’’ #and then aemond ‘I spent my entire life bullying my bastard nephews and convincing them they’re not part of the family’ targaryen finds out #that Luke actually wants out of the crazy and then aemond goes on to gasp in offense #Aemond: what do you mean you’re leaving me and that you want out of this family? #Aemond treats this very seriously as if Luke was bringing up the idea of divorce #Lucerys getting tired of the targ drama so he tries to leave but ends up being THE drama of the century #because Aemond refuses to let him go #so what if aemond has to force Luke into a marriage to get him to stay? #aemond uses aegon iii and viserys ii to trap luke #luke to the targ family: I’m leaving this family #aemond carrying viserys ii and aegon iii: but what about the children?!.

[bleakbluejay]

Please don't fucking do this shit, it's weird and feels kinda racist.

#bbjart #art #fan art #got lazy with this one bc it's to prove a point rather than to make an actual piece of art #people who have never seen a mixed family before #people who are really really weird about Indigenous people #people who says “POCs” #people who suck the nuts of the british royalty and insist on people being white but accuse me of racism or being offensive #like. ok guys. #asoiaf #jon snow #bran stark #arya stark #sansa stark #robb stark #ned stark

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Hi! As the Tumblr expert of the Flashfam, would you say that they're capable of solo-ing other members of the Justice League if they wanted to? I mean, from reading the Flash War, Superman couldn't even keep up with the Flashes because they're too fast. Doesn't that mean they could beat Superman and other heroes easily?

Hey! Thanks for the question!

To start this off I first want to say that there is a meta answer to this and a in-universe answer to this.

The meta answer is: it depends on the series. For example, it is extremely unlikely that a series dedicated to a specific hero or team would have said team losing to a speedster, solely because heroes are supposed to win. It doesn't make sense for, let's say Superman, to lose a fight against Eobard Thawne in a Superman book. Even though Eobard would be capable of taking Superman out, it's Superman's story, and the hero always wins. But if it's a Flash story? Hell yeah, definitely. Also in crises/crossover series you can generally see speedsters being used to their full potential. (For example, Eobard demolishing Batman)

But that's no fun so let's look at the odds in-universe.

Because there are so many different Leaguers I'm going to separate them into categories to make it easier:

The Non-Powered Heroes:

The Non-Powered Hero is always a fan favorite. In a world full of gods it is fun to see the average human being the smartest and most capable person in the room. People like to root for the underdog. Unfortunately for them, they are extremely unlikely to win against a speedster in a fight. They would need Dues Ex Machina levels of gadgets specifically tailored to speedsters to even have a shot. Like I said before, Batman went toe-to-toe with Eobard in the batcave (where all of his gadgets are) and the man was decimated. Being smart and having gear and skills doesn't do much when you look like a frozen statue to the person you are fighting.

The 'I Got One Thing' Heroes:

These heroes are really interesting and cool. Their ranks are filled out by heroes like Black Canary, Black Lightning, Beast Boy, Signal, ect. However, even if their powers would hinder a speedster they are A) extremely unlikely to use their powers fast enough and B) extremely unlikely to actually hit a speedster. Speedsters also have a lot of experience fighting people with just one really strong power and they typically fight 6-20 of those guys at the same time and win. Even super strong heroes like Black Lightning are out of luck because speedsters feed on electricity.

The Strong and Invulnerable Heroes:

Honestly? If I am being completely real here? The Strong and Invulnerable Heroes don't have a chance in hell. I'm sorry but heroes like Wonder Woman and Superman are built to be tanks. They excel at fighting physical threats. They can't do anything against reality bending. That is even how speedsters have historically dealt with Kryptonians in the past. They teleport them into another dimension with no yellow sun and just leave them there. A skilled speedster would have them in a pocket dimension or 20 thousand years in the past before Supes could even blink.

The Lanterns:

Speedster and Lantern relations demand that Lanterns get their own category. First of all, the location of the fight would matter. Speedsters would have an extremely hard time winning against a Lantern in their natural element of space. The Lanterns, however, would have an extremely hard time winning against a Speedster on a planet. Speedsters can phase through and break constructs so there isn't a lot that can be done. So it's entirely dependent on location in my opinion.

Additionally, the Lanterns and Speedsters know A LOT of shit about each other so this would be an interesting fight. The Speedsters know the Lantern's color weaknesses and they know about the battery life of their rings (which they might be able to drain tbh, Barry's worked with the energy in Hal's ring multiple times before and has manipulated it). But, conversely, the Lanterns know that Speedsters don't do well in the cold and that the more energy they expend the more unstable they get. So, it would be a wild fight, especially because the Lanterns can fly so there's a possibility that a Speedster couldn't reach them to take them out immediately.

Psychics:

Speedsters do have a little bit of an advantage against Psychics. In the past Speedsters have sped up their minds so fast that their speeding thoughts actually injured people in their minds. But to be frank they have no skill or expertise in this area and, historically, strong and skilled Psychics can easily grab control of Speedsters. For example, Gorilla Grodd. When fighting Gorilla Grodd the main tactic of the Speedsters is to take him out before he has time to think, ie moving faster than the speed of thought. That doesn't always succeed. So a very strong Psychic would have a pretty good shot against a Speedster.

Magic Users:

It REALLY depends on how strong the Magic User is. Raven, Zatanna and Dr. Fate would all have a 50/50 shot against a Speedster in my opinion. Any magic user that can bend reality and do super strong spells would have a really good fighting chance because they are the exact same brand of fucked up as the Speedsters. Also Speedsters don't really have a counter against curses or spells. They have zero magical expertise. So it's really just a matter of if the Speedster can knock them out (or gag them in Zatanna's case) before they can get a spell out.

So when it comes down to it Speedsters are the experts of fighting large groups of people at the same time. They know how to prioritize and they are fast enough to take out the heavy hitters before they can even react. I think it would largely depend on the Justice League roster at the time (for example, the JL cartoon roster of Bats, Supes, WW, Hawkgirl, GL and MMH wouldn't stand a chance as only MMH would be a threat but a team consisting of MMH, Miss M, Zatanna, Dr. Fate, Raven and Deadman would probably take a Speedster out fairly quickly.)

Their main weaknesses are extreme cold, magic and mental attacks, so a team entirely filled with heavy hitting Magic Users and Psychics would excel at fighting a Speedster. So to answer your question, yes a Flash could probably take out a typical Justice League roster solo (unless the roster was tailor made to exploit their weaknesses).

#dc #dc comics #the flash #kid flash #impulse #flash fam #flash family #speedsters #i debated putting Billy in because he IS magic #but the kid doesn't really do offensive spellcasting besides his lightning #and.... speedsters absorb lightning for energy... so he would just make them more powerful....

[wispforever]

oooh my god you don't ship them? you think the art is cute but you don't ship them? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party

#today on: things that are not especially offensive but get Really fucking annoying when they're in my tags #you don't ship them #okay so don't reblog it #YOU CAN REBLOG IT JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING #what if we went to art museums and lefts notes for the artist to read and you just wrote. I don't like sunflowers #but I took a picture of your painting of sunflowers to show my family and friends #just don't fucking say anything #this is wisp #I've gotten this multiple times. not about anyone specific #just be more conscious of artists and artists space folks please

[magistralucis]

Love that despite Oltyx's grumping about how every other necron around him sucks and he only likes maybe 2-3 other people, he's the one necron in canon who's had guardians and protectors from every walk of life. First his family (Djoseras, and once upon a time, Unnas), then the nobles of varying stations (e.g. Yenekh and Parreg), all the way to those of lowborn origin (Neth and Pakhet) who are dearly devoted to his well-being. Outsiders too, like Mentep and Zultanekh, not to mention every Flayed One by the end of his story!

It doesn't surprise me that the final mode of society he settles on as Valgûl is more egalitarian than literally any other necron dynasty out there. Despite the universe trying its best to crush Oltyx's ability to relate to other people out of him, Oltyx was more cared for than he let himself believe, and had more respect than he gave credit for. When it comes down to it, this was a boy who was very loved, and I'm glad he came to terms with it at the end 😭💖

#warhammer 40k #wh40k #the twice dead king #oltyx #necrons #necron #a thought i should have put in the neth post but forgot - i can't be the only person who thought his affection for oltyx was... fatherly?? #he adores and is proud of oltyx to a degree almost excessive even if he weren't getting the treatment he was getting #it's exactly the sort of pride unnas might have once had in oltyx if. well. if unnas hadn't become That #add in pakhet and how she was once oltyx's tutor teaching him to fight and survive and... ghghhghghghg!!!!! #idk it really feels like oltyx had parents and brothers many times over across the classes #the bone kingdom is one big happy bloody family ; w ; #p.s. didn't put lysikor in this post because he does not have ultimately have oltyx's well-being in mind but like #i don't think that's super personal or anything. just trying to build up to a magnificent eleventh hour here no offense oltyx king #he probably did... care...??? idk it's more interesting to think he did

[kittenfangirl20]

The Jedi Order of the Prequel era/The Clone Wars were not a found family. Some individual members of the Jedi Order formed familial bonds with other individual members of the Jedi Order, but they are not family with every single member of the organization. Sorry, not sorry.

#star wars #jedi critical #pro jedi dni #sorry not sorry #i said what i said #if you find what i said offensive block me #the jedi order is not a found family

[invisible-brandy]

is he saying "dad help"

#dan stop using every familial term in the book to refer to phil challenge #i mean dad is the least offensive one #for my ears #dan and phil #dan and phil games #dan howell #phil lester #hdgh.txt

[semisolidmind]

I know that Macaque in the original story is implied to be some sort of cannibal. Does your version of Macaque practice cannibalism in either one of your AUs? Or is that problem not present at all?

ok SO

yeah, i know that in the original story the six-eared macaque is an actual monster. if stealing identities wasn’t enough, he horribly abuses the monkeys of flower fruit mountain and cannibalizes a few of them. a couple other jttw artists have portrayed this in gruesome detail (fr its absolutely harrowing how they’ve shown just how much of a monster the macaque is. check out @celestialkiri and @journey-to-the-au if you haven’t already. their art is so GOOD ugh). in reality i wouldn’t let my reader within ten miles of this mf, he’s SUCH bad news.

and while my versions of macaque are also monsters, he’s based heavily on the one from lmk (as you could probably tell). so while in twice as bad and bad end he’s still very much a murderer and bad dude, he has the background of living on ffm and being wukong’s adopted brother and trusted friend. so no, im not gonna make him a cannibal in those aus, cause the lil monkey guys are his family too. all in all, the six-eared macaque in my aus is basically a different character from the one in the book. if that wasn’t obvious already.

#bad end wukong #twice as bad au #don’t get me wrong I’m all for the more accurate portrayals #these others artists do them hauntingly well #I especially love how much of a bastard kaijus version is #but that version of him wouldn’t fit in here #wukong may be a murderous sonuvabitch #but he still loves his family here and any offense against them is punishable by death #so those versions of macaque would get clocked in a heartbeat

[quirkle2]

the kids are alright

#qkdraws #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #mp100 reigen #ritsu kageyama #mp100 ritsu #shigeo kageyama #mp100 shigeo #mp100 mob #teruki hanazawa #mp100 teruki #they r a family i fucking said so #also im going forward with absolutely no knowledge of season 3 bc mob's va changed and i hate it #i hate it so much . it's so awful. i cannot focus on anything else other than his new voice so im not watching it GVEYIAGV #a small matter. a pitiable offense. for i will just write the rest of the show Myself

[flyinghome-againstthewind]

Wednesday 100: Wherever I’m With You

In readjusting to life in the cabin after the Big House, Claire found the once-familiar rhythm each December morning, rising and quietly bustling around the hearth to make tea, piping hot to burn away the chill.

She didn’t look up at the sound of small feet scurrying down the loft’s ladder and into the bed, but when Claire turned back towards them with two mugs, Bonnie was already tucked under Jamie’s arm and drifting back to sleep. Watching them, she felt both the magnanimous loss of their home, and how her whole world could still fit in a one-room cabin.

#wednesday100 #outlander #jamie x claire #wee bonnie #drabble #I recently watched 5x04 and took personal offense to the claim that Lucinda Brown needed wee Bonnie more than anyone #when Jamie Fraser was Right There 🥺😭 #so here’s a soft Fraser family what-if moment

[theroyalsandi]

King Charles III of the United Kingdom and Lady Frederick Windsor attend day five of Royal Ascot 2023 at Ascot Racecourse in Ascot, England | June 24, 2023  

#royaltyedit #theroyalsandi #charles iii #king charles iii #lady frederick windsor #sophie winkleman #british royal family #my edit #lol 4th pic #bombastic side eye #criminal offensive side eye

[holocene-sims]

fáilte abhaile 🚜

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 build #simblr #holocene.png #listen y'all i am not a builder but i actually had fun making this lot #and on a 64x64 jdsjdkfds i really thought i'd rage quit because i never do build above 30x20 #will you be seeing this lot again? yes ofc #you know exactly whose family this belongs to #me: *buys the horse pack* *builds in henford* #btw i really need a mod that allows for free range cows #full offense but i should not need to place down 30 cow sheds to make an accurate dairy farm #also *continues talking* i just wanna know who decided that the goats and sheep need to go in your inventory first #at least let me drag and drop them!!