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#fanfic funny
aslukewouldhaveit · 9 months
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Withdrawal
I take a deep breath, shielding my eyes from the piercing light of my computer screen. I am sweating profusely. My hands are visibly shaking. Everything seems to hurt now.
It has been 12 hours since AO3 went down due to a DDOS attack. I thought that, just maybe, I could wait it out. I didn’t need my fix today. I could go outside. Talk to friends. Maybe even work on that fic of my own.
My head throbs painfully, almost in time with my racing heart as I refresh the page.
We’ll be back soon!
Again.
We’ll be back soon!
Again.
We’ll be back soon!
Please! Won’t any god out there hear my pleas?
We’ll be back soon!
There are tears streaming down my face as I grab my hair. I know of something that can stop the pain. The desperation. The need to read.
...
I slowly move my cursor to the search bar, deleting the url inside.
You promised you’d never go back, I think.
But I am cold. I am burning. I am desperate. Desperate enough to return...there.
I begin to type.
𝚠    𝚊    𝚝    𝚝    𝚙    𝚊    𝚍    .    𝚌    𝚘    𝚖
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almostg · 1 year
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The truth of it 🤣
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victoriablyth · 24 days
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pov: you're tom blyth
word count: 1198 letting everyone know this was a small thing i wrote for my english tutor! the prompt was to write about switching bodies with someone and how it would affect you and i decided to write about being in tom blyths body. but theres a twist. this pov is from someone who has NO IDEA about tbosas. i hope you enjoy this!! this is just a goofy thing i wrote <33 warning: its a lil bit cringy...kinda idk JUST READ IT. lmk if you want part two (might have spelling errors n shit sorry!!) Sunlight met my closed eyes. I could feel the warmth of the dim beam that crawled it ways out of the blinds. I slowly rised from the quilt that wrapped around my body all night. My eyes were still drowsy, still forcing my eyelids to shut, as I stretched. I clambered out of bed, still feeling lethargic. I rubbed my eyes, my hands more coarser than before. The shape of my face felt weird, it didn’t feel like it was my  face. As I fully opened my eyes, I look down to my hands. Long and pale, clearly weren’t the complexion it should be. The nails weren’t painted mars black like before. I put my hands to my cold cheeks. I could feel a short stubble growing. ‘What the hell?’ I mutter to myself. I then I realise something else. This wasn’t my room. I started walking toward a small door that likely led to a bathroom. I was right. When I turned on the heat bulb, the amount of luminosity blinded me for a second. But after my eyes adjusted to the lighting, the first thing I saw was my reflection. Or, it was the body I lived in. I was my celebrity crush, Tom Blyth. My piercing blue orbs widened in bewilderment. I stumbled back and I bumped  into the glass door that led to the shower. I slapped myself so I could wake up, I thought  it was a bad dream. But the burning sensation that was left after the slap felt real. It felt like I experienced the slapping in real time, not in a dream. Why is this happening to me? I pondered, as I gazed back at the body I was now using as a vessel for my soul. ‘Tom?’ A young female vocalized from outside. I didn't realize that she called  out to me until she faintly knocked on the door. I scrambled quickly out of the bathroom and opened the door. As I swung open the dainty white door, I saw one of my most favorite actresses of all time. ‘RACHEL???’ I exclaim, my eyes tried not to tear up as I absorbed her angelic presence. ‘Hi…Tom…’ She said, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. I forgot I was now Tom Blyth. ‘Did you forget to set your alarm to 4am again? We have to shoot scenes.’ Rachel continued, her tone serious. I nodded aggressively, and Rachel looked as if she witnessed a UFO fly over a wheat field. ‘Are you ok Tom?’ Rachel muttered. ‘Uhhh- nah I’m all good!’ I said, with a sheepish smile. Her eyes glare in dread as I showcased my pearly whites in an uncanny manner. I exited the caravan, and hopped in whatever direction that felt right. It was of course the opposite direction of where we set up for the shooting.
“TOM!” Francis scowled. I twisted my head towards Francis, the director of the movie I'm in, The Ballad of The Songbirds and Snakes. My lips curled in irritation, my annoyance now at the highest level it could possibly be. Before I thought about what I was about to say, the words spewed out like a volcano that vomited lava. `I AM NOT TOM OH MY DAYS BRO!’ I blurt out, my eyebrows knitted tightly in vexation. The whole room went silent. I was gagged, I once again realized that I am not in my own body, I am in Tom Blyths. “Uhm, well, I mean uhhh…what’s good France?” I said, doing that awkward grin I was doing the whole day. “Please don’t call me France.”  Francis said, his tone flooded with disappointment. “It’s your scene, Tom,” he continued. He awkwardly waddled off to his director's chair. Everyone gives me the same look of concern that I have been receiving for the past two hours. I slowly struted towards my scene partner, I tried to look confident. Josh Andres, my scene partner, awkwardly smiled at me. As I stood in front of the camera, he put his hand on my shoulder. “Tom, are you good?”. I look at Josh, with a stringy smile embroidered on my face. “I’m all good, I’m fine. No need to worry.” I responded. Josh looked at me confused, but then the lights were set. Cameras started rolled. A loud ‘ACTION!’ was heard from the producer. We’re filming already?!  I whispered to myself. I didn’t read or scan through the script, and I didn’t even know much about my role other than his name being Cornelius or something. “Coriolanus!’ Josh said, his face now in bewilderment. I stood awkwardly as I stared into his deep brown eyes which were now filled with desperation. He wanted me to say something. “Yes sir, I am Coral Anus” I say, trying to sound as sane as possible. Obviously, my improv did not go well. “CUT!” Francis said. Josh’s face twisted into distress. “Tom, we have been practicing this script for months, and you reply to my line with CORAL ANUS?” He splurts. “Yeah isn’t that my character?” I say, still smiling. “NO! YOUR PLAY CORIOLANUS!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” He continues. His face now in fear, as if saw his bestfriend die right infront of his eyes. “Ok, Tom, please tell me you are joking.” Francis exclaimed. Francis then adverted his gaze towards the crew. “Somebody pass Tom the script, he’s forgotten the lines.” …  As the cloudy night sky loomed over us, so did frustration. Josh shoved the muffin into his mouth. The curls that had once been done with the most finest moose, were now frizzy and tangled. Rachel sat motionless, staring outside the window. The air felt silent in small caravan. All the crew members were asleep, and it was just us three awake. I stretch my arms out, the fabric of my baggy pajamas letting me move freely.
“97 takes…” Josh said. His eyes had bags, dropping down while his eyebrows looked like they were magnets trying to connect. “97 GOD DAMN TAKES JUST TO FILM A SMALL INTERACTION BETWEEN ME AND HIM!!” He exclaimed, scrunching the muffin wrapper that laid in his huge palms. Rachel looked at me like she had just seen a deer in front of her headlights. “Are you really Tom? What’s going on?” Rachel spoke, as she bit through her apple. I couldn't detect whether she was being sarcastic or not. “Well..my pet-” I looked back down into Tom’s phone, scrolling through his photos, until I see a parrot. Me, or Tom was holding the green parakeet with a huge smile. “My parrot died.” I mutter, as I tried  to conceive fake tears in my eyes.
I shove the picture in Josh’s face, covering my eyes and making crying noises.”Tom, that is my parrot you’re holding. Remember when you came to my house? You held Barnaby?” Josh responded, as his irritation turned into fear. I stared back, the room now felt awkward with the pin drop silence. “Cig break guys!” I exclaim, and I slowly slither out of the room. “TOM YOU DON’T SMOKE!”
The first four hours of being in his body has certainly been a terrifying experience for everyone.
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derianspaghettiman · 1 year
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Alastor:I think we managed to our feud to the public - smiling
Vox: yes ,it's more than oficial- laughing
They both walked down the city
Alastor: I wonder how we will continúe with the show
Vox : something will occur us
Subjet: listen!- they turn
Subjet: We do not understand the reasom why they walk in the city un public holding hands
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mallpretzles · 2 years
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Lucius is so relevant to fanfic that I had to make this gif set.
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orionarsonist · 2 months
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you ever like, become so impressed with the fan-content that expands onto and improves on the themes discussed within a work that the original work feels subpar in comparison.
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aquariusdeanw · 1 year
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“You already left kudos here :)” okay??? and do you think that when god calls everyone to his reign in heaven he’ll forgive you so easily for limiting the love his children wanted to spread?
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“He’s well-fed, Molly,” Lupin added in. “I was there just the night before, and I stayed for dinner. The refrigerator was quite full.”
“Of healthy foods?” she shot back. “Or snacks?”
“Healthy foods. Vegetables, fruits, and fish. There may have been a bag of crisps, but that was the extent of it. I promise.”
That was the extent? Had Potter eaten all of the fucking Oreos?
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lynsstrange · 9 months
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Was on a flight the other week and I noticed a girl around my age, that was sitting in the row in front of me, was reading on her phone. I had to physically restrain myself from laughing because I could recognize that font anywhere. Girl on a flight to Lihue like three weeks ago, if you're reading this �� I know what you were up to. She did what I was incapable of, downloading enough to last a seven hour flight. incredible.
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galaxythreads · 2 years
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when your username is more than one word on A03 and in the comments they go “[first word], you evil little demon” like you’re lifetime friends and have tea on Sunday afternoons <3
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apolloishot · 1 year
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One of my favorite things that fanfic authors will do is bring up fanfiction in their fanfiction. Like if the characters are famous in the fic and get together and whatnot and then they are navigating their relationship being public or whatever and they come across fanfiction written about them???? In the fanfiction that I am currently reading??? It is amazing I love with authors do it. Keep up the good work guys.
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aslukewouldhaveit · 9 months
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I open up wattpad for the first time in years and search for the fandom I’m currently fixated on.
So far in the top works I have seen: 
self-inserts where it is just the canon story but (totally not) the author is in there now
gets kidnapped/adopted/kidnapped and adopted 
poorly written gay porn
“he may have destroyed a whole civilization but I can fix him uwu” fics
edgy modern aus with characterization that makes no sense.
*record scratch* yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering how I found myself in this situation.
so much thirsting for edgy characters
INFINITE x readers (y/n always included) (8/15 on the first page ALONE)
Glad to see that wattpad has not changed since 2014. It’s a comfort.
ᵍᵒᵈᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉᴬᴼ³ᶜᵒᵐᵉᵇᵃᶜᵏᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉᵍᵒᵈᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉᶦᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗᵈᵒᵗʰᶦˢᵃᵍᵃᶦⁿᶦᵗ'ˢⁿᵒᵗ²⁰¹⁴ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉᴵ'ᵛᵉᵍᵒᵗᵗᵉⁿᵘˢᵉᵈᵗᵒᵍᵒᵒᵈʷʳᶦᵗᶦⁿᵍᵍᵒᵈᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉʰᵃᵛᵉᵐᵉʳᶜʸᵃⁿᵈᶜᵒᵐᵉʰᵒᵐᵉᴵᵐᶦˢˢʸᵒᵘˢᵒᵐᵘᶜʰᵐʸˡᵒᵛᵉᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉʰᵉˡᵖᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉᵍᵒᵈ⁻
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almostg · 8 days
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aro-ace-of-spades · 2 years
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It's like late as shit and I gotta get up early tomorrow cuz apparently school is important but here I am reading a crack fic that I've already read and it has given me trauma cuz everyone dies and I got to the death bit and I am👌this close to big gurl sobbing
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derianspaghettiman · 2 years
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More than a clown 🔥
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mallpretzles · 2 years
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I love when they try to use the computer in WWDITS. 😆
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