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There are days I just want to hop on a horse and just ride away. I am told I can’t and that makes me want to do it all the more.

There are days I want to grab my sword, bow and armor and find a monster to slay. I am told there are no monsters like that and I get upset.

There are days I want to just wander into the woods and build my own cabin and just settle in. I am told that I am not allowed to and it makes me want to build a city.

There are days I just want hop a ship and find a deserted island and just live there. But I am told there are no such islands. It makes me want to find one.

There are days I want to find a magic item to give me special powers. But I am told that’s just silly. It makes me only want it to happen even more.

There are days I want to find some secret hidden society and live there. They tell me that’s all just fantasy, so it makes me want to make my own.

There are days I wish I can find a magic book or game that I could just sucked into and never come back. I am told to “grow up”, so it makes me wish it even more.

There are days I just want to live in a treehouse in the woods or a farm. But I am told it costs money I will never have. So I want it even more.

There are days I just want to live in a jungle with the animals. I am told its dangerous and silly. So I crave for it even more. 

There are days I wish I can be western cowboy hero and save the town. I am told that’s fiction, so it makes me wish I can build such a place to live in.

There are days I wish I could wander the agoras of Ancient Greece. I am told that’s all in the past. It makes me want to do it even more.

Each day I find I wish these things more and more. I am just so tired of this world: all the control, restrictions, boundaries and desires to take away my dreams and wishes. I know all these things are just fiction, books and movies. But my core so longs for them. Days come where my core burns so much I feel like my chest is about to explode, depression sets in and tears fall. I watch TV and movies to try to feed my core to calm down but all it does is make me want to live these exotic lives even more. I listen to music connected to adventures and my emotions get the best of me. At one time walking to the store or park was adventure but not any more. Now its just a chore. Instead of my days being filled with wanted adventures, its filled with dirty dishes, food shopping and routine complicated with other people. My family is gone and my friends live a world away. And those that do reside around me do not understand or relate to me at all. Its just me and my cores. At one time I could simply get by with writing and drawing them all. But even that is a core and I loose interest. Nothing is quenching this fire burning in me any more.

My core/s are burning and hurting something more and more with each passing day. And I have no idea how to feed them. How to put out the flames. Why? Why can I not live the life I want to live? Because its weird?? To me living in some uber controlled corporate plastic cyber world is what’s weird. 

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𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑖’𝑚 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦, 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑙𝑢𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟.


𝑖’𝑚 𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑦 𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑, 𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑒𝑒𝑝, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑠 𝑤𝑒’𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑎 𝑓𝑒𝑤 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑘𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑑𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑖 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑖𝑛. ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒’𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑑 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡! 

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If I were a fairy, I would live in the heart of a tulip on a bed made from a tuft of cotton … a leaf would be my blanket … I would weave a basket from blades of grass and cram one giant blueberry inside when I find some while foraging … I would make acorn soup … I would have a pet squirrel to ride, and a pet ladybug to sit in my lap … my laugh would sound like a little bell … I would put baby’s breath on my kitchen table and it would look like a massive boquet … I would ask a firefly to light my way … I would make little flower crowns for the forest creatures … I would leave little trinkets in people’s windows … I would make little cakes and cupcakes for all my fairy friends :)

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“The canvas showed an ironclad warship, a creature wrapped in gray storm clouds and smog. A giant lethargic eye, a knife-sharp pupil in the center of a golden vortex, glared at the witch as if its gaze could incinerate her.”

Lilith holds this painting in their hands, realizing for the first time how big and terrifying the world they made is.

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My own Ranger/adventure core outfit that I have been piecing together for years. This is not just some comic, art, rpg, larp thing but what I consider my real clothing and daily gear. Not all gear is represented here. So far achieved is the following: 

  • Shirt
  • Short Tunic
  • Long sur-coat
  • Bracers
  • Wrist Bands
  • Cloak 
  • pants
  • Boots
  • Sword with Sheath
  • Bow
  • Staff
  • Chainmail Coif (not scene) 
  • Leather head band (Not seen)
  • Cloth headband (Not seen)
  • Leather cap (Not seen)
  • Small pouches (Not seen)
  • Ceramic water bottle (Not seen)
  • Feast kit (Not seen)
  • Drinking Horn  (not seen)
  • Coyote fur mantle (not seen)
  • Leather hooded mantle (Not seen)
  • Drum
  • Rune stones (Not seen)
  • Writing kit (Not seen)
  • Yerba Santa Healing Salve (Not seen)
  • Sage Bundles (Not seen)
  • Cauldron (Not seen)
  • Iron frying pan (Not seen)
  • Small iron pot  (not seen)
  • Rabbit fur lined gloves (Not seen)
  • Tinder & flint kit (Not seen)
  • Wood Flutes (not seen)
  • Candles  (not seen)
  • Lanterns  (not seen)
  • Incense  (not seen)
  • Herbs  (not seen)
  • Crystals  (not seen)
  • Compass  (not seen)
  • Small boxes  (not seen)
  • Small bottles and vials  (not seen)
  • Tool belt  (not seen)
  • Ball of string/Cord  (not seen)

Working on a sheepskin sur-coat right now for winter adventures and leather boot caps. Still to make/buy on my list are:

  • Chainmail shirt
  • Leather armor
  • Leather helm
  • Leather shoulder sachet    
  • Leather backpack
  • Quiver
  • hunting knife with sheath
  • Arrows
  • More health salves
  • Herb kit
  • Kettle
  • Rustic tools
  • Axe
  • Fishing gear
  • Rope
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10-minute Prompt: She turned away from her kingdom, the two small lives in her arms the only thing that mattered.

Anyone in the kingdom could recognize their queen at first glance, even if they’d never even seen her portrait. She was taller than life, literally eight feet tall, with broad shoulders and a royal posture one could detect from miles away. And she was always dressed in gallant white robes, with dozens of attendants following her every movement outside the castle and within. 

But although they recognized her, they did not know her. 

They did not know that she was an angry, bitter, old woman, who could not reveal a sliver of her fury even to her closest servant, as her fragile image as a queen was the only thing that kept her in control. They did not know that she hated the color white, that her robes restricted her movement. They did not know about her children. 

She was barren, which did not affect her standing in this kingdom, because lineage was not matrilineal. Instead, it depended on the lives of two little does. They were precious beautiful things. Their fate was to grow to adulthood, before competing with each other for the title of the next Queen. Whoever won that title would be bestowed with great power, so that they could lead the kingdom into a new age of magic and prosperity. 

So they were the only things she took as she fled that day. 

Fire raged in the city. The castle had crumbled. The sun was choked out of the sky with smoke. But she had her does.

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Fairy Dust Perfume by Paris Hilton, Fairy Dust is a white floral fragrance for women launched in 2008. The perfume opens with a refreshing burst of peony and orange blossom notes. The middle accords include sweet peach, lotus and gardenia. In the base, there is vanilla, fresh musk and patchouli to create an earthy close.

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