#fashion boundaries

[thingsinlife990]

Just a High value woman who doesn’t accept shit from no one

#level up #girlblogging #beauty #it girl #fashion #self care #pink #white #life #high maintenance #chanel bag #yoga #healthy #lifestyle #fancy #that girl #boundaries #boujie

[nightmarewritings]

From the Behind the Scenes of Renfield, the dearly departed patriarch of the Lobo family is on full display in their compound!

#renfield #teddy lobo #tedward lobo #renfield 2023 #robert montague renfield #rebecca quincey #ignore the wall and tv boundaries #looks like Teddy got his fashion sense from dear ol dad!

[spicysidesalad]

If u decide to send me a message.. please keep it respectful. Thanks.

X

#boundaries #boundary setting #tumblr girls #beauty #self love #positivity #beautiful #natural body #self appreciation #bodypositivism #me #sexy #mine #cute and sexy #fashion #cute and hot #cute #beautiful body #mirror selfie #cute thighs #my peach #mirror #emo

[tierras]

my miu miu harness boots ⋆୨୧˚

#actually my prize possession #i got them for my bday on the loooow probably because the sole is kinda lifting on one boot 😭 #miu miu #j.archive #i'll use this as a life update... school started up again im busy BUSY i have a math class this quarter like?? having friend dama too?? kms #idk im finding that new friends/acquaintances are quick to over exaggerate their place in my life 🧍🏽‍♀️ #so when i put up my boundaries they think i don't like them anyways these friends made one of my bday celebrations not great #i told rebeca about it and they venmoed me money dndndnd because it was that awful #i've been spending a lot of time using my school's fashion archives omg will post some stuff to share 💕

[sn0wbat]

pastel goth bat (he/it) and morten (they/he) because why the hell not

it's fun to dress up our ocs like dolls sometimes

#low stakes 🦇 #my art #context is that i typed in bat's name into one of those shindan maker generators and one of the lines gave me fashion: pastel goth #and this was kinda in a discord server #and we were all talking about how bad/well the randomly generated fashion styles suited our ocs #and i wanted to try drawing some of the ones i got #starting with pastel goth bat because honestly what would that even look like. so i tried that #then morten just kinda happened to tag along! as one does! mostly because i rly wanted to draw them like this too #for a while actually #also yes. morten Will mess with their hair more as they settle into their vampirism a bit. it'll be fine #their default will always be that blue tomboyish sidetails cut so it will always return to that #much like how einarr always returns to long white blond no matter what he does #vampire hair is just like that. permanent. unchanging. #bat didn't wanna do anything to his hair for this drawing lol he has boundaries #there is an alt version in my files where he does have white hair tho #i mean. it could still be a wig #but w/e #u can ask if you really want to see it

[theprincientist]

For The People Pleaser - Read This

Love is not something you can work hard for, or earn. You do not become more lovable by being silent.

Being vocal about your dislikes and discomforts does not make you a nuisance. It makes you human.

Betraying yourself to be loved is not worth it. It only creates resentment.

Speak up.

#people pleasing #theprincientistpersonaldevelopment #setting boundaries #boundaries #neglect #self worth #self improvement #self love #self love black women #black beauty #black women #luxury black women #melanin #black fashion #fashion #african beauty #luxury vacation #black hair #black girls working

[skitskatdacat63]

I hate booktok, is it not literally the exact same as when we(as in people like me lmao) read 'x reader' stories on wattpad back in the day?????

#god just like watching a normal vid on tiktok #and the comments are 'booktok is gonna love this 🥰🥰' #like i dont get it #i thought it was like people who read books #but then i learned its a specific type of book #and im like ....this reminds me of my childhood hm. #just all the over domineering love interests and constant smut hahaha #but its so odd to me. bcs its like literally any vid #some fashion guy i followed posted a vid of him showing off an all black fit #and all thw top comments are abt booktok #istg its atp just a way to say that the vid made you hor- sry thats rude of me djfkvklv #and like commenting it on vids of real people. like that whole hockey controversy thing w booktok #this is why im glad to be into this specific genre of rpf that im in #bcs (*most*) people understand boundaries and are respectful and everything #and booktok people feel like people who never evolved from their wattpaf days #and instead of switching to ao3 or smth they stopped reading fic and then turned into this #catie.rambling.txt

[homecomingvn]

I legit had the worlds worst brain fart because I thought this was going to be an if not a vn...i might need some vitamins

Happens to the best of us legend, don't even worry abt it <3

#🖤 - answered #🪳 - roachie scatter #parts of me will always be kicking myself for making hoco a vn + not a if #ah well too late now :3 besides it all works out this project has really helped me push boundaries with my art + jsut improve in general #would love to do a good ol fashioned if one day tho! I have a whole story planned n everything tee hee #📝 - queued

[twinprime]

spending all my days making fashion inspo boards on pinterest as if i actually have any concept of how to take that inspiration and make it into outfits for myself

#lover of interesting and boundary pushing fashion who exclusively wears leggings and sweatshirts bc i can’t actually style myself. #🙄 oh well #strq.txt

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is not knowing what to say when your friend talks about their romantic relationship problems except "good thing i wont ever experience that lol"

.

#Anonymous #aro culture is #aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #mod axel #honestly the basics of all relationship advice is communicate or break up #like for literally every relationship type ever: if you cannot in some fashion communicate #both the good and the bad #then you need to establish boundaries with each other #and a good chunk of the time if you consistently cannot communicate with each other #that boundary is no longer being with each other

[gender-euphowrya]

the absolute vicious shit people think they have to say whenever the topic of 'picky eaters' comes up ESPECIALLY when it's about children is just sickening

#post : my child doesn't like carrots so I #rando : WELL I WOULD JUST *describes a thousand different ways to abuse a child* AND IM THE NORMAL ONE HERE #adult : i can't eat fish because #rando : LMAO GROW UP WHAT ARE YOU 5 FUCKING IDIOT LOL JUST STARVE FISH HAS GOOD VITAMINS JUST KYS #have y'all tried not being dicks about other people's diets ffs #especially when it's like. a video showing how a parent is successfully introducing new foods to their picky kid #like Oh they only like cheese crackers so i'm gradually nudging them towards grilled cheese sandwiches with these steps #and then hopefully use the grilled cheese as a base to introduce other types of sandwiches etc #and it's just. it works. it's respectful of the kid's boundaries. it's healthy. #and Still a thousand people just jump to say INSTEAD OF DOING THIS THING THAT WORKS TRY BEATING HIS ASS (WHICH WONT WORK) #so many people are fucking eager to tell you they Love violence against kids who have no way to defend themselves #that they're fucking sludgebrains who haven't come up with actual parenting techniques #so all they know is ''hit child'' or ''yell'' like a fucking level 1 pokémon #that they view the small young people they have agreed to take care of as dolls that must obey or get thrown against the wall in a tantrum #if your entire plans for parenting are ''i'm just gonna use violence until my human toything complies'' don't become a fucking parent #Anyway this was about picky eating and how people don't know how to mind their business about it #why are you so pressed about what someone else Doesn't put in their mouth. why are you so weird #humans come with a variety of tastes in anything from fashion to colors to home decor to favorite animal #and you can't fucking fathom that they'll also Not all want or like to eat the same things ? fucking cringe

[domhnallgleesonhaven]

📸 Markus Nass

#domhnall gleeson #shooting stars #berlinale 2011 #berlin #berlin film festival #portrait photography #markus nass #pushing the boundaries of fashion

[gillianthecat]

After pondering this some more, I've revised my theory and now think that (out of the shows I’ve seen and can recall right now) Old Fashion Cupcake has the best depiction of consent in BL, in the sense that it doesn’t show any boundary violations.  

I was initially going to say, this is because it isn’t even looking at the question of boundaries. But now I think about it, Old Fashion Cupcake is actually very closely examining boundaries and limits, and looking at how they can be challenged without being violated. This is what makes the show feel so sweet but not saccharine, gentle but still complex and erotic.

The whole premise of the show is that Togawa is pushing at Nozue to expand his comfort zone.  What makes it work so well is that Togawa is very carefully calibrated in how he does it.  He pushes just a little, evaluates Nozue’s reaction to see whether he’s gone too far, and then either pushes more or backs off if he sees that Nozue wants him too.  This works because Togawa is extremely socially astute, and very good at reading Nozue.

(From what other people are saying about Minato Shouji Coin Laundry, it sounds like this attentiveness and calibration are what Shin is failing to do with Minato)

There are inherent power dynamics in the fact that Nozue is Togawa’s boss, but the show and the characters are very careful about them. Togawa is clearly the one in pursuit! Nozue even switches to another department before they actually get together. And though I focus mostly on Togawa here, I think Nozue is also reading Togawa very carefully and calibrating everything he does.

There are two moments that come to mind that could have felt like violations; when Togawa tells Nozue he jerks off to the one he likes, clearly implying that he jerks off thinking about him, and when Togawa forcefully kisses Nozue.  But they didn't, because both were part of sequences where Togawa slowly escalated things in response to the green lights he read in Nozue's actions and responses.

Note: I've never seen anyone arguing that Togawa is violating Nozue's boundaries at those moments, I'm just working it through for myself why these two instances feel safe, when in other contexts they wouldn't.

In the dinner at Togawa's house (ep 3) Nozue is the one who brings up porn. He's doing a careful test of the boundaries too, and they both know that this is what they're doing. And when Nozue gets uncomfortable and tells Togawa to stop, he does. (At least presumably; the scene cuts at that point to Nozue washing dishes.)

In the scene leading up to the kiss (end of ep 4), they both have been taking turns escalating the intimacy (i.e. flirting). Nozue compliments his body and asks advice about exercising. Togawa offers to teach him and touches him under the guise of helping. When it goes too far for Nozue, Togawa backs off. They basically tell each tell the other 'you're the most important person in my life.' !! When Nozue decides he needs to leave, its clear to both us and to Togawa that it's not due to anything Togawa did, but rather because of the specter of a socially acceptable heterosexual love rival.

And I'm pretty sure Togawa knows that Nozue is attracted to him. As I've said, I think he's very good at reading people, and he's paying very close attention to Nozue. (This is obviously more subjective, the show doesn't tell us either way outright.) So while he doesn't think Nozue could want to be in a relationship with him, my interpretation is that on some level, conscious or not, he knows that at least part of Nozue wants the kiss. And Nozue's response shows that he does!, something both Togawa and the audience can see. He immediately kisses back. He bites down on Togawa's thumb in his mouth like he doesn't want to let it go. He never pushes Togawa away, Togawa is the one to let go. And afterward, having pushed Nozue more than he ever had before, and being unable (or too scared) to read whether or not it was welcome this time, Togawa backs off entirely and waits for Nozue to come to him.

I think what made the kiss feel so safe is by this point in the show I trusted that Togawa 1) would try hard not do anything that harmed Nozue and 2) even in his heightened emotional state was capable of reading whether or not Nozue felt safe. Now, Togawa didn't trust himself in this moment. He was so caught between his desire and his fears that he didn't trust his perceptions. But I still trusted him, and I think a lot of the audience felt the same.

In fact the only thing in the show that struck me as troubling about consent was when the H.R. director (Nozue's boss?) kept pushing them to attend the dating gatherings. I don't know enough about Japanese workplace culture to fully understand the context and implications, but I do think even there the show was thinking about boundaries. Several times, Nozue pushed back and said it wasn't appropriate.

There may have been other moments, but nothing I can recall. I'm curious if others had a different reaction since I know things that felt fine for me in Semantic Error were very uncomfortable for @heretherebedork.

Here are my general thoughts on boundaries and consent.

p.s. I chose that picture because of the way Nozue is biting down on Togawa's thumb. He's biting down and holding on! I can't get over it! !!! !!!!!!!

#old fashion cupcake #thoughts on consent and boundary violations in bl #adding my take to the many thoughtful analyses of *that kiss* #my ramblings #togawa x nozue #nozue x togawa #i love this show and these characters so much

[respectthepetty]

In defense of Togawa

Clarification - Togawa did not go back in the house to kiss Nozue. He went back in the house to get a key. He realized as he was leaving that he would have to leave the house unlocked, so he went back in to grab the spare and lock the front door as he was exiting.

He saw Nozue's phone out, so he went to put it up and then this happened

Although it's bad to kiss non-consenting (aka sleeping) folks, in the source material (and this is where the defense comes in), it's clear that Togawa is very physically attracted to Nozue (*thumbs in mouth, just thinks of the person he likes to...-> tons of pictures of Nozue*), which is why he doesn't spend the night. Even on the futon, Togawa would be tempted, so he declines the offer and goes home.

This kiss is a moment of weakness when his restraint is lowered (which we see later explode then implode at the end of episode four), and he realizes that the next day when Nozue gets upset about how openly Togawa returns the key.

In the source material, it's implied Nozue wasn't actually asleep during the kiss, but the show seems to keep Nozue asleep as another layer to why Togawa regrets his actions. Togawa establishes in episode four that he is awake, sober, and alert when he kisses Nozue, but he didn't offer the same opportunity to Nozue. This is why they don't kiss in the final moments. Togawa respects Nozue's boundaries rather than violating them because of his attraction, which has caused his internal friction in the past (read: he isn't upset that he is attracted to Nozue, but how he has displayed that attraction, which he even stated in episode four). He doesn't push more than what Nozue's comfortable with.

Togawa was always the public initiator, so in the final episode, we see Nozue being the one to ask Togawa to lunch, to run after him, and to express his attraction.

And in the final moments, Nozue is the one to initiate the intimacy of food sharing with his small gesture of leaning in, lifting his chin, and slightly pointing his knife.

Where Togawa is direct and lusty, Nozue is subtle and restrained, but in the end, the roles delicately merge.

#old fashion cupcake #togawa x nozue #consent is important #boundaries are important #awareness and growth #this show is a valuable therapy resource

[capsuletomars]

Introduction Post :))

#introduction #tiktok #alternative #anime and manga #mutuals #queer #transgender #art #crafting #diy #crochet #sewing #squishmallow #plants #fashion #boundaries #first post

[yellowjavkets]

This isn't my attempt at a hot take or anything. Just an observation. Anyway the word "androgynous" is kind of useless to me because when people say androgynous in terms of presentation or whatever they usually mean masculine. Suits are considered androgynous but dresses usually are not. But also I mean masculine In the most american sense of the word. Because white Americans also see traditional masculine dress in other cultures and they refer to it as "gnc" on the internet. Which is stupid and depending on the circumstances insensitive. Anyway does anyone in this thread smoke weed

#Sunny laprade 'i am not a man who is breaking boundaries I am a girl who is a fashion disaster ' #Monster growl #i've maybe made this post before. idunno