#fat gnc culture is

[gnc-culture-is]

fat gnc culture is being annoyed at how little people think about fat gnc people

i feel like every tutorial for makeup (especially masculinizing!!) doesn’t work for fat folks. (like please what cheekbones are there to define??)

it’s hard enough to find good clothing!

plus being fat (at least to me) feels like you’re expected to adhere to gender norms even more so than usual

You’re so fucking right and you should say it. Certainly, i hear you.

#gnc culture is #mod rob

[crippled-peeper]

“Cringe culture is dead”

(sees a fat gnc woman in public)

(fucking explodes into a gorey mist cloud and dies)

#okay NOW it’s dead #fatphobia

[blacksapphhicmaddonna]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, ALPHABET MAFIA

just a few reminders:

- first pride was a riot

- black & BIPOC queer people are the foundation of our entire nation and the global culture

- we owe most of our rights and progress to BIPOC trans women/femmes and different communities of lesbians, trans/gnc folks and elders.

- trans people have always existed, they are ancient and indigenous to many cultures and places and are SACRED.

- I’m glad you’re here and there is community out there for you, waiting with open arms. Don’t give up just yet, please.

- rainbow capitalism isn’t liberation

- we are all we have, be fucking better to each other

- lesbians have done so much for lgbtqia+ people and should maybe idk stop being erased for no reason

- biphobia is real and just bc your ex cheated on you doesn’t make it bi folks fault, you’re projecting babe

- being queer doesn’t dissolve white privilege, pls touch grass

- be safe at pride. they’re coming for us all and we need to protect ourselves.

- not everyone wants to use the word queer/dyke/fag etc. I’m glad you reclaimed the slurs used against you, me too, but not everyone wants to and you need to respect that. LGBTQIA+* exists for a reason.

- the black and brown belong on the flag.

- the A is for asexual/romantic or agender, not ally.

- get some pussy (or whatever you do (or don’t do)) and make space for joy! because black/queer joy is revolutionary and fucking righteous just as much as our anger is, too

- Juneteenth coming up too, issa parade in my city fr

- asexuals/aromantics belong at pride. Period. Full stop.

- safe sex is the best sex

- get tested!

- it’s okay to not watch the news. america is hell, go take a nap

- people 100% know themselves better than you ever will, people are who they say they are and you don’t get to decide that for them. respect pronouns, identity, etc. or argue w ya mama/god/someone else cause it ain’t finna be me ❤️

- you deserve relationships that feel safe and actually are safe. Don’t settle.

- learn your queer history. they won’t teach us. they took our elders from us.

- Black LGBTQIA+* history IS Black History.

- we all need to be thankful to the house mothers and the ballroom scene and those who gave us what we have now, regardless of who you are.

- don’t call yourself a stud if you’re not BLACK. wit a capital B and at least one BLACK parent.

- not everyone is out. happiest of pride month to y’all. you’re still gang and we love you just as much. 💗

- our collective liberation lies in the fact that we are all tied to each other. if you’re down for the gays but not the theys, you’re not as decolonized as you think you are.

- shout out to fanfiction writers who have been single-handedly providing queer art/content/representation for years while the industry continues to make a mockery of us or intentionally leave us out. one thing we gonna do is help someone find their queer awakening, and get that story right. love us 🤪 go team

- your life means something. it’s important beyond comprehension. you look good. your ass is fat (if you want it to be). get the mullet as a lil treat.

- LGBTQIA+* people across the board have ALWAYS existed in literally every culture and every continent (and Antarctica counts if you count the cute lil gay penguins😌). Don’t let them tell you different. We are not a “mInOrItY”, we have been MINORITIZED. we are not small, we are great and mighty and have ALWAYS been here. And we always will. We exist in the future just as we have existed in the past. We stand on the shoulders of MASSIVE collective ancestors. If that’s not an indication to keep going, keep fighting, keep laughing, dancing, voguing, and keep showing up authentically - then I don’t know what is.

- it’s gonna be ok baby. pinkie promise.

#pride month #pri DEMON th #black sapphic #sapphic #nonbinary #gang fr #rainbow shit #alphabet mafia #gay shit boutta ensue fr #they/thems assemble #munch szn #pansexual ig

[faygob0yfriend]

cringe culture makes me so Sad and upset. why r u taking a picture of a random gnc and/or fat person in a walmart to make fun of them online. doing that is a lot weirder than the gnc/fat person i can tell u that much. why r u making fun of people for saying shit like ‘Hm i think minorities should have basic rights and also u shouldnt say slurs.’ why is caring about other people and not conforming to gender norms cringe. ppl will b like ‘hahaha hey look at this freak that has interests that dont align with what i think is cool and fun. haha look at this annoying loser that deserves to die for not speaking with a tone that i find acceptable or normal.’ and not see an issue with it

#obv not the only examples #ur neurodivergent? CRINGE. ur a poc or queer or are otherwise different than me in any way? CRINGE #‘ur not palatable to me so u deserve to die probably. its ok if people send u death threats or take pics of u without consent bc ur cringe’ #CRINGE CULTURE IS A SCOURGE ON OUR SOCIETY IM DEAD SERIOUS #cringe culture is dead #cringe culture

[creation-help]

Miscellaneous character design tips (that everyone could find useful)

- Feathers in hair, behind the ear, on the head, in some headress ect? Just don't. Unless you're indigenous I strongly, strongly advise against it, bc native people have criticized this design trope time and time again. Accessories and clothing like this can be very difficult to get right if you don't know what you're doing.

• Also! W*ndigos. Don't. If you wanna design a character that "looks like" (or is what you imagine when you think of a) W*ndigo, just. Design a character that looks like that and call it some other monster (Disclaimer: I'm mainly talking about things like those skull headed monsters with antlers ykno). These creatures have alot of deep meaning to the cultures they're from, and people are tired of them being appropriated and misrepresented. It will cost you nothing to just make a generic monster rather than butcher something from a marginalized culture. (Also, I've censored the word because in the past I've been told that using it's name is bad luck/harmful, so I'm doing this to be respectful)

(Natives/indigenous people are welcome to add on discussion about this if you feel like there's anything I could've said differently)

- Unless your character design is meant to be flexible, up to artist interpretation, or just messy, place patterns and decorative characteristics on distinct, memorable places. For example if your character has spots, put the most notable ones on places that're easy to remember and replicate, like on particular body parts. I'd also advise to make just a bit less of these patterns. Generally, if you're not aiming for a cluttered looking design, prioritize quality over quantity, when it comes to patterns.

- A character design's intent is just as important as the actual character design. You'll see me mentioning this on the previous point as well. Unless we're talking about offensive caricatures, there's teeechnically no such thing as a "bad" character design. Just rather a failed or unsuccessful one. What I mean by that, is that if your design is meant to look cliche, tacky, messy, or just plain unappealing, and it looks like such, that is a successful design! If you designed a character just to be something fun for you to draw, that's a successful design! I often see this point applied more professionally by other art advisors, to mean more like "You should be able to tell what kind of character it is based on the design", which is also true! But intent and purpose matters in storytelling. Obviously, not all aspects of a design need to be there for some very specific reason (looking at the people who ask "Why was this character made fat/gnc/black/poc?" and so on.) just keep in mind what this character is supposed to be. I think it's better to worry about if the character design does what it's supposed to, rather than if it's ""Good""

(And yeah, there are still things that just objectively don't look very good together, according to human perspective and color theory and whatnot, but again, if you're aiming for that, you go buddy!)

- Sorta coinciding with the previous point: Don't be afraid to use "ugly" traits when designing. I think the reason why is obvious (beauty standards can go suck a dick), but there's more to it than just radical acceptance! By giving more unique, weird, or "ugly" traits to your characters, you make them more memorable and distinct from one another. If there's a billion smooth faced perfect pretty characters who are the exact same kind of flavorless vanilla sexy, it gets boring, and they blend together! And please don't limit these traits to just villains or characters who are supposed to be disliked!! My other advice on this point, is, pllllease don't design villains "ugly" and heroes "pretty", I feel like that should be a given, but alot of people may be doing it without even realizing. And that's understandable, but I heartily recommend taking a second to think about it more deeply. Why is this visual trait "Bad", or "Evil"? I just feel like so many artists are deathly afraid of having their characters look the least bit unappealing or challenging. I could go on about this but I'll stop here to keep it concise. Don't beauty police your oc is all I'm sayin

- Reference! I don't necessarily mean take inspiration from other existing character designs, although that can also be helpful. I mean that look around you, think broadly! If you have a certain theme for your design, try to round up all the little things (items, concepts, colors, animals, traits) that could be associated with it! And try to reflect that in your character design. You can get a little wacky and experimental. You can literally just broaden your inspiration to things like everyday objects, a specific fabric texture, an element, or a fungi that lives in moldy houses. Anything! My main point is to try to think outside the box and consider more unconventional things to reference for your character design, you'll never know what might work and look really interesting. Often, a bland design is worse than a weird one. (Disclaimer: Unless you're aiming for bland ofc, per my prev points, but ykno). You can also just go by "Hmm, I'm making a character who is X, what does that remind me of?" or, what I also recommend "Hmm, so X kinds of characters remind me of these things. Let's ditch that and think what one usually wouldn't associate with X kinds of characters!". Ykno, defy convention, think about things you might not usually do. I know it can be easier said than done but once you get into a habit of trying to think more broadly, it'll come to you easier. Don't be afraid to get odd and unusual

- While I don't condemn designing a character in a way that just, is that way, because you designed it like that, I also recommend thinking about how and why the character is like that in-story. Might seem like an obvious tip, but I'll elaborate. I for example, have a pair of bug demon characters who grew up on the streets and didn't have the normal amount of nourishment for their age, so, due to that their mouth pincers and other buggy parts were left much smaller and more "plain" looking than others of their species. They never developed to their appropriate adult size. Things like this will reflect on a character design! And that's just one example. If your character has a habit of nervous picking, or sensory problems, or live in an area where certain resources for clothing aren't available, all of this will reflect on the design! Of course, you can also work backwards from a design and think "Hmm, what justification will I think of for the character having these traits (especially if they're uncommon for their story setting)?"

I may do a part 2 sometime later, I just had some thoughts I wanted to compile for now! Obviously you can have your own design principles but these are ones I consistently use (also the first one being as specific as it is, is just something I particularly wanted to say).

#Character design #for character design #Character design tips #character design ideas #Cultural appropriation #Ask to tag #design tips #Design ideas #Artists on Tumblr #monster design #Artblr #Important

[bloodyscott]

today i volunteered for service hours and i got told by the person i emailed who’s in charge that they didn’t know what gender i was via email as my (dead) name is african (i do still have an african preferred name, but i mostly go by scott), and it made me think of how being african functions so much like a gender.

A lot of African names are gender neutral, and traditionally, genderfluidity and gnc gender roles were norm of numerous African societies.

Black people tend to be seen as simultaneously hypermasculine and hyperfeminine. Black women especially are seen as masculine with stereotypes assigned such as angry, strong, sassy, loud, etc, adding feul to the fire as they are often seen as “men’s” traits. This doubles if they’re of another marginalized identity.

Black men are often treated as extremely dangerous, marking a subpar masculinity, yet are also seen as incompetent, submissive, and unintelligent, traits often seen as “women’s” traits. Black fat little boys especially tend to be mistaken for girls.

Especially being African or being in a family of recent immigrants as a black person, ypur femininity or masculinity is put up to the question as many things about you could tick bells for untraditional western gender roles: cultural roles in your family, your accent, your clothing, food, body type, ethnic features, way of approaching life, etc.

We get it drilled in early that we are not society’s gender standard and must assimilate into western gender dichotomy or risk being seen as vermin. Many africans today don’t even realize how atypical the lifestyle of “men as breadwinners, women in the house” is.

In igbo culture (as Im igbo), there were numerous gender roles one could fill. If one wanted a sister but got a brother instead, the brother would fill the role as the sister or vice versa. I have also heard of an aunt shortly after the nigerian war in a relationship with another woman and one of them filling the role of the father, with them consensually mating with other men to have a child. There’s more of course, but igbo culture used to be especially women centric and centered dominace as a trait for women. Nowadays, women are at the backdoor as igboland assimilates into the western world and becomes more male centric. it’s worth noting the language igbo does not have an equivalent for he/she pronouns.

Trends with the types of names assigned in a given culture can tell us a lot about how gender functions in society and how a certain identity can function as such

#antiblackness #racism #queerphobia #meta #gender roles

[4ggravation]

sumeru boys redesigns + notes

as you may know, i redesigned the sumeru boys a few weeks ago because, as much as i love them to bits, their designs are well. not that great in some areas. also because i wanted to draw them more often without the roadblock of their designs being so complicated. i've mainly been drawing my cyno and tighnari redesigns, but i did also do alhaitham and kaveh, so i thought that i'd show off these redesigns in one post, along with some notes on why i made certain decisions. hope you enjoy!

(pre-note: just so no one gets confused, i also renamed everyone when i did my redesigns, giving tighnari and alhaitham first names and cyno and kaveh last names.)

tighnari ❀

(renamed abdullah al-tighnari; tighnari was made his surname because that was the case for the real guy he was based on)

i went into this thinking "how can i make this design more appealing to me while still retaining what the original design meant?". since tighnari is one of my favorites in the game overall, i put a lot of pressure on myself to make a decent design.

a lot of tighnari's design inspiration comes from moroccan (specifically amazigh) culture, which i kept in my mind through most of the drawing. this inspiration shows in his bead necklace (i forget the name), his belt, and his earring, which i remade to mirror the shape of moroccan headpieces.

gave him some muscles because there's no way a guy with his job wouldn't have them. also a bottom-heavy fat distribution for self-indulgent purposes.

the design has less layers and lighter/flowier clothes because of tighnari's canon sensitivity to heat. if you're living in the rainforest (a famously humid biome), you probably wouldn't be wearing what canon tighnari does, heat sensitivity or not.

gave him some traits that are popular headcanons, such as the flower thigh tattoo, the sharp teeth, the scars, the claw-like nails (with the middle and ring nails filed down for No Reason), and the lichtenberg figure. also gave him tan skin and wavy hair because i Cannot deal with canon nari looking like that.

sturdy shoes! archery gloves! his vision on his belt! quality of life features that an actual forest ranger would have!

i will admit that the slit pants, the shorts, and the tights were all for self-indulgence reasons, but i think they go together well with the rest of the outfit too.

a braid in his hair for cynari marriage purposes. (i hc that in sumeru, marriages are consummated by braiding each other's hair)

kaveh ❂

(renamed kaveh laghmani; surname is of iranian origin, but i forgot the meaning)

another real quick note: if i change a character's pronouns in their rewrite, i'll be using those pronouns in their notes. here, kaveh goes by he/she pronouns (she just like me fr).

his canon design is actually my favorite of the sumeru boys, so this redesign was more of a simplification while still keeping the original color scheme and such.

from my research, kaveh's mainly inspired by persian/iranian culture. this is what i had in mind with her shirt and her jacket... shawl... thing. idk what to call it.

kept him a skinny twink; imo, her being a twink in canon fits pretty well.

emphasized the bird of paradise motif with the thing on her side looking like feathers. you will see this again with alhaitham.

made him brunet for more cohesion with the color palette, also because i don't like the whole blonde-fading-to-brown situation he has going on in his canon design.

flowers!!! also giving him a pretty headpiece bc this guy is flashy. also also keeping the feather, it's cunty and fun.

i wanted to make kaveh obviously gnc/genderqueer without going into full-on feminine outfit territory. you can tell she's not quite cis but it's not super in your face yk?

made his vision one of his earrings like yae miko because i forgot to give it a proper place in my concept drawings lmao

quality of life feature: actual artist gloves that aren't cut off. seriously, them being fingerless in the canon design completely negates the point of artist gloves.

removed his braids because of the aforementioned marriage headcanon.

alhaitham ⚘

(renamed amir al-haytham; i wanted to give him the most basic name possible, though i fought with myself a lot on whether to write it as al-haitham or al-haytham)

my god i despise his canon design. it's so... not him. my goal with a redesign was just to give him an outfit that made sense for his character because jesus his canon design is an atrocity.

alhaitham is mainly inspired by either saudi arabian or general west asian culture (like what's constant and such). i was mainly inspired by casual saudi arabian menswear when i was designing him.

hot take but i don't like alhaitham being buff in canon. i made him chubby/fat in my redesign mainly for self-indulgent reasons, but also because it makes more sense to me. also gave him facial hair because yes

kept his color scheme mostly the same, along with the eye motif. emphasized the eagle motif slightly with the feather hip piece (see: kaveh's redesign).

gave him a headscarf (not a hijab or anything like that, just a regular headscarf) because he felt like the type, plus i got the design idea for it and went "well i can't not include it now".

wanted to give him the vibes of an npc who was forced to be a main character

no he isn't wearing his vision anywhere, he doesn't carry it around in my rewrite.

quality of life features: more sensible, looser clothes that are easier to live in- really the whole design is meant to be a quality of life improvement first and foremost

cyno ⚡︎

(renamed cyno al-sahrawi; surname meaning is "of the sahara" or more generally, "of the desert")

like kaveh, i'm gonna be using he/they pronouns for cyno here because that's what i put in my rewrite.

in my opinion, cyno's design is relatively solid, but with a few glaring flaws that kinda ruin everything for me. i'll bring them up as these notes go on.

they're very obviously inspired by ancient egyptian culture, specifically anubis. like, it's very blatant. with my redesign, i wanted to keep those inspirations in mind while making the outfit less stereotypical and make more sense.

why does this man, who's said to fight a lot, not wear a shirt? why are you letting the place where most of your vital organs reside breathe freely? also, why does this guy not have scars?

simplified a bunch of patterns, especially below the belt and with his headpiece. also made their helmet(?) a darker, more saturated purple to attract your eyes' attention to it.

gave him eye of horus makeup for a little cultural nod

the black piece in the back was made to look like a tail to further the jackal thing.

curly hair that resembles lightning bolts <3

the shoes were inspired by traditional egyptian footwear, because if this guy is out in the desert all the time, i'm not letting him go without some kind of foot protection.

quality of life features: a bit of armor on his arm (partially for aesthetic purposes), less flowy bits on his helmet and hips to prevent distraction or getting caught on things, the aforementioned shoes

added braids for cynari purposes, because i'm me.

hope you enjoyed reading this! please keep in mind that this is all off the top of my head and doesn't even go into color theory, how the designs mirror each other, and other smaller things like that. i might make a part 2 someday going into those things, but who knows with my memory lmao

reblogs are heavily appreciated!

#long post #tighnari #cyno #alhaitham #kaveh #cynari #cynonari #tighcyno #tighno #tighnari genshin impact #cyno genshin impact #alhaitham genshin impact #kaveh genshin impact #tighnari genshin #cyno genshin #alhaitham genshin #kaveh genshin #genshin kaveh #genshin tighnari #genshin cyno #genshin alhaitham #genshin impact kaveh #genshin impact cyno #genshin impact tighnari #genshin impact alhaitham #4ggravate #genshin redesign #genshin impact redesign #4ggravated #<- jesus christ thats so many tags

[foliejpg]

Ok I know people get kind of up in arms about clothes for FOB genderbends but thinking about how they would all dress is one of my favorite parts of it? Like I think pete and patrick especially would have very interesting relationships with femininity, especially coming up in a misogynistic scene like 90s/00s hardcore. Bc when I look at pictures from early FOB shows, the girls you see there are dressed pretty much the same as the guys, like girls were THERE but I very much get the feeling that the safest way to exist in that scene as a girl was to be as guy-ish as you could, but taking it TOO far would get you shit for [being gay or trans or generally gnc, I dont want to use period-accurate language right now], and it REALLY gets interesting if you're overweight, not white, not straight, not cis, anything that sets you as a woman apart from the dominant cultural image of "a woman" in the USA. Patrick personally is may favorite to think about because Ive been the fat girl in nerdy guy spaces and Im also a fat woman in a pretty dude-heavy professional field, so I can project my experience onto girltrick all damn day? (1/?, Continued in another ask bc Im going to hit char limit soon I think)

this got long as hell and i also never got a part 2 so i hope this is relevant<3

i definitely get that, for patrick especially to have to really conform to being “one of the guys” and acting like such so she doesn’t get called things like difficult or bitchy, and that definitely makes an impact on how she dresses. especially as a fat girl and i’m also a fat woman, so a lot of what i wanted to wear was either too tight and rolled up my stomach or my pants didn’t fit, OR was so lowcut because my cup size was too big and nothing fit correctly, so it was wear the big boxy tee shirt or have my tatas on display for people to look at. patrick, as a fat woman who is maybe not the most conventionally attractive, would really have to straddle a line of fitting in with all of these gross boys for the sake of the band and not being disregarded as a sexless fat chick. of course then it goes into slut shame-y territory if she ever god forbid wore something cute that made her feel good. maybe girltrick doesn’t wear a lot of dresses or skirts early on, but maybe during soul punk she explored a little more and maybe that carries over post hiatus. girltrick would rock a maxi skirt. comfy as fuck

i think about pete too as a woman in the scene at the time having to kind of play into what guys around her expect of her as a more sexual being bc like you said the misogyny was rampant and the easiest way, like you said is to go along with it. pete irl got boiled down to this sex symbol so early in fob’s career and had his body plastered all over magazines for people to drool over. to a point, we know that pete also played the “bad boy” schtick up because it was new and sexy and aimed at teen girls, so then girlpete did that too. irl pete dressed sexy and wore eyeliner so fall out boy would catch eyes, and it worked. so does girlpete, to the same extent. of course because she’s a woman she’ll always be sexualized worse than irl pete ever could experience.

look at pete now, he’s all comfort wear. those fucking meat shoes that haunt my dreams. girlpete is shy too. she’s also very business savvy and, like irl pete, knows she’s hot. she wears sweatpants and sneakers when she’s out and about, and baby tees and low rise jeans on stage, and maybe her bra is visible and rocks a whale tail sometimes as was popular early on. she was probably harassed endlessly but she’s not ashamed of herself or her body and dresses to fit her needs - like pete did irl.

and maybe this is controversial but i don’t think girlpete would have leaned into a more butch or androgynous style because realistically, pete didn’t. the eyeliner was an act of rebellion which is totally cool and 100% but let’s not pretend he was really challenging any gender norms here. girlpete as a business woman knows how to market herself to the people that will matter, the people who buy fall out boy’s music.

i think people forget that like, at the end of the day they are still pete wentz and patrick stump. the intentions, timeline, lore, personality - it’s for the most part all the same, but i think when people don’t acknowledge that their experiences in the scene would be drastically different from irl pete and patrick, it’s disregarding the misogyny in the scene entirely.

and also i want to put them in a skirt and it’s fanfiction so i can do what i want<3 if anyone has anything to add, pls send me a msg i love talking about my girls<3

#girlpete #girltrick #ask #anon

[daftpatience]

got a cane cus my booba so huge that theyre uhh making my spine bad

i talk abt my booba hurting my bones under the cut

so! im currently a 40 M and my breasts weigh over 12lbs! this means my back hurts a LOT. all the time. i wanna go over how this affects my body cus i bet some folks would find it interesting and i like talking about myself lol

ive had xrays of my spine and it’s pinched in the mid back area because i lean backwards a bit when standing to counterbalance the weight of my breasts. my hips are also extremely tight in a weird area that’s hard to relieve. the pinch in my spine and my fucked up hips are from my body trying to compensate for the weight of my breasts.

if i don’t wear a bra, all the strain feels as though it’s in my neck and i get really bad headaches radiating from there up through my head, every day. i cannot do any tasks that require me to stand with my arms out for any length of time (like doing dishes) because the pain in my upper back gets unbearable instantly!

if i do wear a bra (and i only wear ones without underwires), the neck pain is gone but it all relocates to my shoulders. i’m able to do more physical activities, but it gets really irritated under my breasts and the buildup of pain on my shoulders becomes unbearable over time.

when i’m sitting my breasts also pull me down into a hunch, and it’s difficult and painful to sit up straight. i also can’t bend over to pick up things. it hurts less to crouch than to bend from the hip, but still hurts. my family’s also got some genetic shitty knee thing that i should really get looked at so my knees like to give out on me a lot. i get this not-so-often blindingly sharp pain in one knee if i stand up from crouching! aaa. i almost forgot about that while writing this.

due to all that, after a few hours of walking, lifting, or anything that’s physical, i end up in serious hip/back pain at the end of the day. i do what i can to help recover, i use cold packs and painkillers, but i’ve often lost sleep from the pain. there isn’t much i can do for a job if i can’t bend over :( sometimes i’m bedridden for a whole day or more from this. its been this way for a good three years or more? i can’t remember that well!

cue the cane: helps me bend over! i was surprised that it also helps me walk around as i wasnt expecting it to do much for me, but i feel like i have a lot more energy since getting it AND i havent gotten out of bed in excruciating pain once since ive been conscious about not bending over without the cane! im flabbergasted and happy. i should have gotten one a long time ago. i’m also nervous that i’m visibly disabled - i’m fat and gnc so the amount of people that are gonna see me as a target for isms and phobias just went up. it’s scary to stand up for yourself and your needs.

i wonder if there’s some underlying chronic pain or weakness thing i’m dealing with, cus that’s a lot just from some heavy tits, but we’ll see after they’re gone if my whole body still hurts ;w; most of the bad things seem to radiate from the boob weight. my knees might be another story.

im lucky that where i live breast reductions are free if they're considered medically necessary, and im lucky that my doctor recommended i get one instead of just telling me to lose weight (theyre so disproportionately large that i can’t imagine it would help, plus i like my body size and hate diet culture and medical fatphobia) by god am i chopping these things off of me asap. ive got surgery vaguely in the fall (still need a confirm call from the surgeon)  so everyone wish me luck lol

#babe with a mobility aid #cane user #i know i dont owe anybody an explanation #its more i just have a lot of pain and i want to talk about it cus i feel olone aawaa #body hurt can u relate #lmk cus it suxx

[butcharium]

Asks to help you procrastinate: what do you find most attractive in a woman and do you think this differs from what straight men find attractive in a woman?

personally I think that a lot of straight mens taste is sorta corrupted by hetero porn culture and misogyny and that's why they end up liking hairless, skinny and weirdly proportioned women, but I have hope that if they were raised in a society without these influences then everyone attracted to women would love all women, including hairy and fat women

I've always found gender non-conformity and masculinity really attractive on a woman, this is probably what i find the most attractive actually ( and especially so if she's properly butch). I also really like big personalities (coupled with intelligence) in women, and this is also consistent in my type of friends. This is something I like, but I think of it less as something actively attractive and maybe more something I need in anyone I'm going to build any sort of relationship with. Butches are a niche to be attracted to, especially so as a Developed Type as opposed to the woman you're attracted to mostly for other reasons also happens to be butch, not just by straight men, but among lesbians as well. I have met straight men tho who've been attracted to gnc and masculine women, and this in a totally nice and normal way, or straight boisterous and gnc women who still have plenty of men into them. But it is certainly not an ideal or something reinforced by the culture around you to like and love and appreciate gnc or masculine women with strong personalities.

Personally I am somewhat allergic to sex and relationships as a place for charity and/or activism, and I think people can have the most arbitrary, strict and/or ridiculous standards for who they sleep with or enter relationships with. I guess this is informed both by myself being a hairy fatso, but also as someone with a somewhat narrow taste myself. Like personally I find feminine women in general completely uncompelling and largely unappealing, but I guess the key is that this does not mean I think she is somehow lesser than me in any way. Personally I would be okay with being turned down for being hairy and fat, but I would find it far more crucial that my being fat or hairy doesn't make me a lesser being in the other's eyes. Personally I am somewhat excessively hairy tho, rip any lesbian who's said that she's so happy to not be into men as they have hairy arses in the extremely unlikely event that she ever finds herself in bed with me. If you mean hairy as in having pubic hair I do think it is fucked up when that isn't seen as just a natural consequence of puberty tho.

I think I neither fully agree or disagree with you. I was also raised with the same misogyny around me as the men, with porn culture and weird or impossible or incredibly narrow beauty ideals, and while all of these hurt in one way than another it didn't stop me from very early on being attracted to masculine women, sturdy and fat women, loud women with big personalities (nor did it stop me with finding these ideals largely uncompelling for myself either). I imagine this has been the case both for other women and for other men. I have also seen plenty of lesbians with the preferences of skinny, hairless women with "weird" proportions. Again I think what's most important is that we're able to see each other's inherent value regardless of looks, and that is something it seems like many struggle with. I think it does matter whether you love woman as Same or if you love woman as Other. To straight men, woman will always be Other, or at least she is so much easier to fit into that category than what she is for lesbians. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus and all that. I think this makes it far easier to dehumanise women, not recognize our subjectivity or recognize us as equals, and makes it easier to have these ideals women are kept to in different ways. I think even a society with less misogyny would make it easier for men to recognize women as equals, I still think preferences would prevail, just hopefully not from a place that anyone who don't meet these preferences are somehow lesser.

#musings #asks #anon

[bidonica]

Per your answer about status and beauty “would have found a match sooner or later, and by fitting in the conventional role of wife and mother and all the other things expected by a highborn lady, her looks would have become less relevant because her status would have consolidated. But Brienne doesn’t play that game, and the people she meets feel entitled to mock her for her looks to her face.” if brienne looked like Cersei, and was still as skilled, how’d she be treated then?

A Brienne who grew up as beautiful as Cersei would be, bluntly speaking, a different character, and probably exactly the kind of "hot warrior chick" trope Martin pointedly tried to avoid when writing her. For all we know, a girl called Brienne of Tarth who grew up stunningly beautiful might never even have picked up a sword. Would a beautiful yet martially skilled Brienne make a radical choice like dropping everything and leave home by herself to follow the one man who showed her a semblance of kindness and attention? It's kind of like wondering what Sam's life would be if he weren't fat, or Tyrion's if he weren't a dwarf. One of the things I think GRRM is particularly successful at, is writing characters whose personality is defined both by "innate" traits and by education, social standing, physical advantages or limitations, privilege or lack thereof. These elements are all intertwined, and pulling one out makes the whole jenga tower of characterization fall.

Would people consider her differently if she were conventionally beautiful? Maybe. We don't know because the closest approximations we have are Lyanna (dead before getting to navigate societal expectations as a full adult), Arya (still a kid) and Asha (I'm not counting Ygritte because her culture expects her to be able to beat a mf up). Asha is interesting because she's the closest to the aforementioned hot warrior chick played straight, but I'd argue Martin averted that by making her more charismatic than conventionally beautiful, a good leader and a smart diplomat more than a super skilled warrior, and by giving her a healthy dose of self esteem, which doesn't come out of nowhere because she got parental support and recognition, and her dad isn't just any dad, he's the fucking boss where they live. She has quite a lot of social capital to back her up; would a random Iron Islander woman succeed in gaining the same respect Asha has? I somehow doubt it. There's also the Sand Snakes, who have a similar sort of privilege from being Oberyn's children, and also live in a culture that's more open to gender equality. So it's hard to know how society would realistically react to a gnc yet traditionally beautiful woman who goes into the world pretty much by herself, with only the social capital of being the female heir to a politically irrelevant island to back her up. Maybe a beautiful Brienne would be more self assured and charm people with charisma on top of beauty. Maybe she would still be shy and unsure of herself and suffer the attention either positive or negative she would attract.

There are a LOT of variables that come into play beyond the perceived beauty of this AU Brienne. And that's not even touching on the biggest "what if": would it even have been possible for her to achieve her current level of skill with a conventionally attractive female body - smaller, lighter, not as muscular? Brienne isn't just extremely well trained and with good instincts for combat, she literally has brute force that is linked to her size and build. There's a reason combat sports have weight categories. Once again: you take one element out and it snowballs into a whole set of different results in other areas.

#brienne of tarth #asoiaf meta #beauty in westeros #replies #anon

[olderthannetfic]

We already talked about GNC not being indicative of gender, what about being androgynous? I mean like literally fucking born andro. Being andro does not decide your gender, it doesn't make you cis, trans or enby, being andro is literally just being born and I hate how people see an androgynous human and think that it's valid to question their gender identity because of it. I mean people born with features that makes them andro, not the andro relating to intersex or andro attempts by choice.

--

It's mostly culture anyway. We tend to hear "androgynous" and hear "supermodel ectomorph", not "super fat or old in a way that makes secondary characteristics harder to spot". But when I think about people whose probable AGAB I can't easily detect, they're often the latter.

[t4tdykes]

— 28 • (s)he/him • prev. ayekha

labels are hard but bi (?) gnc transsexual butch dyke "guy" all apply

tme, t4t, polyam

white & jpn

jew in progress 🪬🧿✡️

autistic, disabled, mentally ill, plural, fat

between names

DNI

no minors please; i reblog some nudity and discussions about sex/sexuality/occasionally bdsm that i don't really want to censor

bigots will simply be blocked if i stumble upon you

but for posterity's sake i'll say that this includes TERFs/transmisogynists/radfems, racists, antisemites, zionists, ableists, fatphobes, LGBTphobes, whorephobes, and yes, "proshippers." not arguing.

blog content/about

i mostly reblog things with little to no coherence, ranging from silly little posts to media to aesthetics to current events (#world)

i also post about butch/femme culture, and i'd love to make more friends within it! pspspsp femmes 🌹

as a general rule, i refuse to engage with fandom. tbh the more i like the media the less i will engage with the community lol

i delete most of my original text posts not too long after i post them because i get #shy but i'm working on it.

and yeah i'm between names; always accepting suggestions!

ones i always come back to are asa, aaron, atticus, ira, aryel, uhhh. idk man.

—

mutuals DM for my 18+ blog!

mutuals can also ask for my discord

as a rule feel free to send me asks or come into my DMs!

#pinned #a.txt #a.face

[johannestevans]

so I read your grindr advice, but how do you get past the anxiety to actually start hooking up? I'm nearly 30 and autistic and have never gone further than kissing and I want to get laid (not out of shame of being a virgin, I'm just horny) but I'm so afraid that it'll be obvious or I'll be awkward and offputting... not to mention body image issues being a chubby gnc trans man. I can only imagine things going horribly wrong and have chickened out and deleted the app every single time I've tried chatting on grindr

Honestly, I think this is one of those things where like... There's no way of easing your way into things or anything with physical intimacy - it's kind of like when you're about to dive into a swimming pool and you know the water might be a bit cold at first, so you just can't make yourself jump in.

There's no way of making it easier, there's no mental lifehack to get yourself over what will be a transition.

It's funny getting this ask because I was talking about this with a partner last night, and specifically like--

One of the things that I think makes sluts so attractive is that we approach sex and sexuality with ease and confidence, and the reason we do that is because we know that sex is honestly no big deal.

In your head, you think, oh my god, what if people think Im weird, what if I'm awkward, what if they think I'm ugly, what if they think I'm ugly, what if I'm not good at it, what if I have a bad time, etc, and the thing is, sex is honestly no big deal, there's no need for perfection. People fucking are just human beings like any others, and not only is there no expectation of perfection, once you're having sex, you don't really want perfection?

I would also say that like... I was chatting to @pingpong-amnesia about this, and he said that one of the big things about easing into sex with people is that the things you might be insecure about (being fat, being trans, being GNC, being hairy, etc) are not just things that you learn like, oh, some people will accept me despite these traits...

Like, no. Some people will find you hot because of them, and will find you hot including those aspects.

There's this lie that's constant and continuous, that everyone prefers ~conventional beauty~, but will accept you "despite" not being conventionally attractive or whatever, but the truth is that normal people are attracted to normal people.

I'm not saying oppression doesn't exist, that people aren't racist or fatphobic or transphobic, I'm not saying that all people are perfectly okay or whatever, like, a lot of people do have biases, and the way people process attraction and attractiveness is through a lens of their own bias.

But some people take that understanding of people's biases, and then basically internalise it as like... The only people that ever find fat people, or trans people, or disabled people, etc, attractive, are either people with the exact same experiences of marginalisation and/or chasers.

And that's just not true!

All kinds of people are attractive and sexy to different people, and I think the more that we fuck and engage with sex and sexuality, and specifically like, the clumsiness and messiness of sex? The more we realise how sex is just another form of communication and intimacy with others, that it can be really chill, and not a big deal.

I will say that i have more confidence now, btu when I was easing back into sex again after a period of celibacy, I felt a lot safer playing with other trans people and playing with non-sexual kink before I eased back into having more casual sex! And I also actually found it easier to fuck guys who were travelling through my city and were in hotel rooms rather than accomming or going to theirs, but that might be a personal thing for me.

So much of stuff like this is tailored to the individual situation, and I'm afraid there's never a universal script or step-by-step, but that's part of the nature of cruising and hook-up culture as a whole.

[agenderakali]

People in this community treat invalidating lesbians and everything they do like it’s a national fucking sport.  And it’s not just the “lesbians want to be with men theyre just being bitter” shit I see plenty of, you also get people mocking lesbian gender expression, openly saying studs and butches are exactly as cruel and misogynistic as the cishet men who attack and abuse us. Treating trans lesbians like laughing stocks and acting like they're dangerous and “acting like men” if they dare to bite back. Mocking stone sexuality, saying we’re broken or traumatized or dripping with “toxic masculinity” because we have the nerve to have sexual boundaries they don’t understand. Openly mocking every facet of lesbian culture that goes against cishetero norms, plucking up the aspects of our culture that are easily digestible and treating them like cute accessories to use for themselves.  And of course this open derision towards lesbians primarily targets lesbians who are the most marginalized (trans, gnc, lesbians of color, fat lesbians). But invalidating lesbians is fine apparently! Cause in a lot of folks’ dumbed down, fanfiction view of the queer community, we’re house Slytherin and we need to be taught a lesson.

#lesbophobia #now that im thinking about it im pretty sure these ppl would fight a lot harder for fictional racists to not be demonized #over living breathing lesbians anyday

[magickfromscratch]

[cw: rape in mythology as a topic]

A society associates with its gods that which is sees as admirable, whatever that may be.

When we read Ancient Greek myth, we need to acknowledge that the conquest and rape of women, whose value could be summed up by a number of tripods, was considered admirable by the Ancient Greeks, who scarcely considered women to be people.

Further, the fructification of the land, by ploughing, and the impregnation of women, through "ploughing" were considered alike.

We find gods that are rapists, and we must understand that that's not who they are. They were painted that way by people who loved them, and thought that rape was admirable.

Only two gods stand out from the pack, and they are Hermes, who took a woman in that way only once, and watched her die by being kicked to death by her brother, and Ares, who never did so even once, and killed a rapist.

In every generation, we malign our gods by painting them with our own inequities. There are people alive today who get angry when the gods are portrayed as fat, or black, or brown, or trans, or having a disability.

When especially the gods described by traditional lore as, and I quote, "Ethiopian," get painted as black, and people get angry, what those angry people are telling you is that they see blackness and admirability as incompatible. And no matter what words they're using, they're telling you that they think that one cannot be admirable without light skin. They are racist. The are colorist.

When they tell you that Dionysos and Apollon are cisgender, despite the fact that Apollon is in women's clothing more often than not on a lot of those old vases, and that Dionysos was raised as a girl, they are telling you that they view transness and being GNC as incompatible with admiration. They are transphobes.

If they tell you Hephaistos "isn't really disabled," they are an ableist piece of crap.

Supremacy Culture Is Not Holy.