#fault you hate yourself .. it's rly not

[yangbbokari]

Don't Let Me Go

I'm not going to say anything bc I want it to be a full surprise ehehehehehehehehehehehe I will give you a song rec tho WC: 630 Song rec: Don't Let Me Go - Cigarettes After Sex

"Hey, Chris..." You speak out to him as he holds you tightly. He simply hums back to you. "Can you never let me go? Like. Ever?"

Your boyfriend chuckles lightly. "I will never ever let you go. I swear."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Pinky promise?"

Chan chuckles a little louder this time before hooking his pinky finger with your much smaller one. "Pinky promise." Even stamping it with kissed thumbs.

"Till the flowers no longer bloom and the sun no longer shines. I will forever be yours and you will forever be mine." You both say in unison. It was like a vow made between the two of you.

His lips softly capture yours. You slowly let out a sigh of relief. This was all you ever wanted for the years to come.

After you finally pulled away, your breathing slowed and your eyes began to droop. Chan couldn't help but stroke the hair behind your head.

"I'm tired now, Channie." You softly spoke to him. He continued stroking your hair. "Then why don't you rest now, yeah?" He replied. "I'm tired but I don't want to fall asleep yet."

Chan kissed the top of your head and pulled you a little closer. "I'll be here when you wake up so just give yourself some rest now."

"Okay..."

It was said only slightly over a whisper before you nodded off to sleep.

Bang Chan looked down at your sleeping figure with a gentle smile. The tears began clouding his vision as your heart moniter went off. Both of you already saw this coming so you spent your last moments with him. He stayed by your side since you were terrified of needles and the treatment process. But he still lost you.

The doctors quickly rushed in, a few nurses attempting to take Chan out the room. But he couldn't bear to leave you. He had promised that he'd never let go. Your hand was still warm. You'd wake up. Your hand still gripped his tightly.

"Sir, you're going to have to leave. The patient is in critical condition and we need to operate immediately." He pushed back against them. "I already promised her I won't let go! I won't disturd you guys. I just... I just... I just need to stay by her side to make sure she's okay...." He started yelling but his voice softly died down.

He could practically hear your voice telling him to stay and not to leave him in this big scary room with all these strangers all alone. But he didn't really have a choice.

"Our hospital staff will be sure to make sure Ms. L/n is safe. So please step outside of the room sir."

With that, he finally let go of your hand, breaking the promise he had made with you only minutes ago. ~~~ Your boyfriend stood over your casket, gripping you hand tightly, and crying to his heart's content.

"Didn't you say that you'll love me forever. 'Till the flowers no longer bloom and the sun no longer shines. I will forever be yours and you will forever be mine.'" He quoted. "Was that all a lie!? Why aren't you telling me that it's fine and you're alright. W-why aren't you here..?"

The rest of the guest also cried. Your mother sat in the front row unable to contain her sobs. Chan could only break down. Now on his knees as he cried hysterically.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just miss you. I didn't mean to break our promise. I just want you to come back. Please? I promise I'll be better."

"Till the flowers no longer bloom and the sun no longer shines. I will forever be yours and you will forever be mine."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm sorry, everyone. Don't hate me🤧 I just had this thought while watching the 14th ep of Doom At Your Service. It rly isn't my fault. I love you all!!!!

Feedback is greatly appreciated and thank you for reading! Have a great day/night!!!

#skz fanfic #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz chan #skz bang chan #bang chan fanfic #bang chan imagines #bang chan fluff #bang chan angst #bang chan scenarios #skz fluff #skz angst #straykids fanfic #straykids imagines #straykids scenarios #straykids fluff #straykids angst #straykids chan #straykids bang chan #bang chan #skz #straykids #mumu writes #yangbbokari

[l0vem41l]

star stickers and best efforts.

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, hurt/comfort but 100% not at all, reader is mildly mean when nervous LIKE A BAD DOG /ref and most definitely written self-indulgently by accident, sun is mildly condescending, they r each others best supporters, mentions of a customer being rude but rly nothing crazy, sun uh... he's an interesting fella, BIGGG dialogue chunks im sorry im sorry 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. the daycare attendant/sun/sundrop

author's note: my wip title was literally just "the one where you're yelled at" :p but... hiiii!!! obligatory return to fnaf real quick becuz,,, no, i still havent gotten into the ruin dlc but YES i do love sun's personality in help wanted 2..... if this is ooc u can erm. shove me into wet concrete. (。﹏。) aaannywayz!! missed this!!! missed this so much!!!! ( ╯□╰ ) sorry for not valentine's day posting,,, scandalous ik since im lit rally Called Valentine. but oh well. enjoy! or dont. if you dont im sorry please request fnaf stuff so i can Fix That /srs

if you weren't relying on this job to put food on your table and a roof on your head, you’d burn the freddy fazbear’s mega pizzaplex to the ground for a piece of pocket lint and a pat on the head.

maybe it’s a bit dramatic to say that— you're paid well, you like your mostly robot coworkers, and most of the time (emphasis on most and not always) the work is manageable enough.

the customers are another story.

sun notices the minute you walk in the daycare. you look like you're a minor inconvenience away from murder— which naturally, makes him feel inclined to prod a little.

“well, someone’s awfully sulky today!”

while you’d typically crack a smile at the upbeat jester animatronic, his enthusiasm in the face of your misery is grating. there’s no energy left in your body to banter with him— you were using most of it to drag your feet over to the shoe caddy, toolbox in hand to fix up its shelf, now hanging askew due to a busted bracket.

“can it, sunny, i don't wanna hear it.” you mutter, more venomous than you intend it to be. he doesn’t even blink at your grumpiness. instead, he happily holds up the shelf while you inspect it and grab a new bracket to secure it.

at least he’s trying to make himself useful. you think to yourself.

his faceplate tilts slightly, staring at you with that ever present grin. his staring isn’t really helping, but you don’t fault him for it. you’ve gotten used to his antics by now. “woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” sun questions.

you shake your head.

“got yelled at by a customer— now, if you could please just drop the topic—” you sigh exasperatedly, not even bothering to finish the sentence as you sit down cross legged in front of the shoe caddy, slumping slightly in defeat.

much too persistent for his own good, sun decides that inquiring even further about the incident that seems to have you beat down is a good idea. “what’d you do?”

you consider feigning offense as he insinuates it’s somehow your fault. but you don’t. you just shrug it off.

“my job.” 

“ah, they do hate it when you do that.” he tuts.

“it wasn’t even that big of a deal,” you mutter, getting the bracket in place and marking it, “this one kid just so happened to walk up to the arcade machine i was putting an out of order sign on. i felt bad, so like, obviously, i hand the kid a few tokens, apologize politely, explain— and you’d think it’s all good right?”

you pause mid-ramble as you fix up the shelf. in all your misery, you forgot that you don’t even know exactly what caused the shelf to collapse like this. you consider asking.

sun leans in just a bit too close, interrupting your train of thought as you stare at the shelf. when you glance at him, he gives you a little nod.

go on, he seems to say wordlessly. he’s waiting silently for you to continue your story. it’s never not unnerving when he’s quiet.

“...anyways, uh... the kid’s dad came by and got mad or something. didn’t understand why i couldn’t just let him play one game since it looked perfectly functional— keep in mind, this is the arcade machine that literally kept eating up tokens only to not function, and shocked kids when it did— so i kept trying to explain why i couldn’t exactly do that. but for some reason, it was such a big fucking deal—”

“language.” he chides.

“...fricking deal. of course, i had to be berated for it. i offered to grab them more faz-tokens as compensation and i thought the problem was solved... and then i checked and saw he still left a bad review. definitely gonna hear about that from management.” sun hands you a tool as you continue to speak.

“but now i’m upset, i’m definitely in trouble, and my face hurts from the whole customer service smile i was holding that entire conversation. like seriously, i don’t know how i’m expected to do that 24/7.” you stop at your last remark and stare at sun and his unchanging expression. “...my bad.”

the awkward silence only lasts for a moment, thankfully. you’ve spoken your piece— sun decides to speak his.

“you did your best.” he says simply, as you finally fix the shelf into place. he pats you on the head and doesn't even hide his amusement when you sulk.

“i know that tone, sunny, you're making fun of me—”

“poor thing.” he continues, grinning brightly as he makes a show of patronizing you. sun’s hand continues to pat the top of your head gently, like he would when consoling a child. or when greeting a dog. has he,,, ever seen a dog before? probably not.

you groan and manage to shove his arm away.

“i do mean it though,” he continues, his tone still lighthearted— but notably more earnest as he notes your expression. sun helps you put your tools away neatly back into the toolbox, even though it really is just a one-man job.

“you tried your best,” sun closes the toolbox with a flourish and a click, “...and for that—!”

with a dramatic flick of his wrist, bells jingling as he does, sun produces a gold star sticker from… somewhere. he holds it up for you to see.

and then gently presses it onto the tip of your nose.

“to my favoritest human employee here! and my bestest of friends!” it’s hard to bite back a smile at those words. even if his little show of empathy and affection is much too theatrical for your current mood.

“whatever.” you shrug a little, unable to stop the corners of your mouth from twitching into a little grin. standing up and grabbing the toolbox, you give him an awkward thumbs up.

“thanks. and uh… sorry. for being mean. i guess.”

sun shakes his head dismissively, bouncy and bright as ever. “oh, don't mention it!”

something about his seeming lack of offense towards your prickliness makes you feel even more guilty. still, he gives you a wave as you head out, “bye-bye”-ing happily as you walk away, sticker stuck to your nose and smile on your face like an idiot.

you decide you’ll find a way to make it up to him later. you figure he deserves that much for putting up with everything.

meanwhile, sun is taking mental notes on more stuff to break of whenever you’ve been away for too long. just in case, of course. maybe you’d have more interesting customer encounters to rant about. and hey, you could use the company, couldn’t you?

— reblogs always appreciated!

#fnaf sb #fnaf sun #fnaf dca #sundrop #fnaf x reader #sundrop x reader #fnaf sundrop #dca x reader #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sb headcanons #sun x reader #daycare attendant x reader #fnaf security breach headcanons #dca x self insert #how do i tag again #help wanted 2 #kind of #not really

[cosmicn3ptune]

may i request something?<3 sanemi x fem!reader where she's all tough and cold, only speaking when necessary which,, she never has, not around him, and he actually really hates her because he thinks she thinks she's above everyone, that and she's rly powerful. but then one day he rounds a corner and accidentally bumps into her and she lets out the cutest yelp and his brain short circuits because she's apologizing, blushing, and rambling all cutely and hes just 🧍‍♂️ and as she walks away, confused why he was just standing there, he realizes "oh shit. i like her".

and as a bonus perhaps, after this, he tries his best to get closer to her, even attempts to flirt in his own way, but fails each time, but little does he know, reader sees right through him and is crushing on him too.

if you don't want to write this, it's completely fine!! have a wonderful day/night and don't forget to drink water! also, i love your writing! keep being amazing<3

Yes of course!!! I love Sanemi sm this was so fun to write! Thank you anon <33 I hope you've been doing well and drinking lots of water!! (o´▽`o)

𝐀𝐰𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝! 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Reader is the ice pillar

Genre: Fluff

Includes: awkwardness, bad flirting, enemies to lovers, Sanemi is a simp, reader is tough, fluff

:

Despite all having similar goals not all of the hashira got along. Sometimes it was due to different beliefs, other times because of opposite personalities. As the ice pillar, it was your sworn duty to be cold and dispassionate. It isn’t your fault that your breathing form made you so distant. It was simply your nature to be that way, and that was something wind pillar Sanemi Shinazugawa could never get a hold of.

Even after all the time you had been a hashira he still had never heard you speak. Whether it was because he wasn’t listening, or you in fact had not said a word around him; Most likely the latter. This led him to believe you thought you were above him and the others, when you felt quite the opposite.

The master had noticed the growing tension between the two of you and therefore had never put you on a mission together. It was almost as if you and the wind hashira were complete strangers. It had never crossed your mind that you even had the chance to become closer with him.

Keeping your head tilted to the ground, you continued to wander around the Butterfly Estate. You narrowed your eyes as you mindlessly fidgeted with the hem of your snowflake-patterned haori. You knew it was quite a bad idea to not watch where you were going, your pillar training had taught you that. Perhaps you could let today slide - you had a mission last night and it left you incredibly drowsy to the point you were nearly stumbling every step.

Sanemi had also been making his way around the mansion. He intended on asking Shinobu for some spare wisteria - which she always seemed to have on her. He had no idea you were in the same vicinity. Sanemi took note of the neatly kept and dainty flowers that had bloomed so elegantly. He kept his eyes trained on the delicate blossoms as he quickly rounded the corner

Sanemi was met with an unexpected force, as were you. You flinched and let out a gentle yelp, eyes widening and fixated on the equally shocked wind pillar. Your trembling hand slapped against your mouth as a muffled “sorry” left your quivering lips. Instead of responding Sanemi could only blush and stare, as if his mind turned off. That was the first time he had ever heard you say anything and he certainly wasn’t expecting the standoffish ice pillar to sound like that. To sound so… Sweet.

You bowed your head, awkwardly apologizing with your eyes squeezed shut and face covered in a deep flustered red. The way your eyelashes fluttered when you glanced up at him had Sanemi feeling something he had never felt before. It was warm and caused him to go silent, not knowing what to even say.

You lifted your head and made an uncomfortably long eye contact with him before quietly excusing yourself. You hurried off with your face tinted pink, wondering how you let yourself have such a humiliating scene play out. Contrary to what you believed, Sanemi wasn’t mocking or laughing at you. Instead he admired you until you were out of view.

When you finally disappeared he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, only to roughly inhale again when he realized what his mess of a head was trying to tell him. He harshly bit his tongue and crossed his arms. It wasn’t possible.

Had he really fallen for the ice pillar that he had previously despised?

There was no use fighting himself. It wasn’t just a feeling, it was a fact. He stuffed his face into his hands in an awful attempt to hide his crimson face. He heard light footsteps approaching him and swiftly peeked up, wondering if you had returned. To his surprise the girl he had fallen in love with was nowhere to be seen. Instead an agitated voice that was certainly not yours began to shout at him.

“What are you doing here?! You have no idea how suspicious you look, I thought you were an intruder!” Aoi glared at him as if he were the most disgusting creature she had ever seen. To be fair his actions were just a bit out of the ordinary. Sanemi sighed and apologized for frightening Aoi, to which she responded “I wasn’t scared!” In an irritated tone. Sanemi smirked and rolled his eyes as he made his way to find Shinobu.

:

Isn’t it strange how you can go from hating someone to loving them in the matter of a few minutes? Sanemi never expected such a thing to happen. He thought the whole “enemies to lovers” thing was just fiction. He only realized that wasn’t true in the past week, as he had fallen deeply in love with you. How could this possibly happen?

Sanemi finally found the courage to go to your mansion and knock on the door. His breathing was heaving and uneven, doubt washing all over his pride. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Until a few days ago he had been shit-talking you left and right. There was a high chance you wouldn’t even answer the door, and even if you did you’d probably slam it on him. Although his fear was building up he was right there. He was so close to having an opportunity to talk with you and there was no way he’d just throw it away.

His heart felt like it was about to either stop or beat out of his chest when he heard your footsteps approaching the door. Perhaps it would soften the blow if he had bought flowers or chocolate, but no, he just nervously stood there with nothing in his hands.

Sanemi stiffened up as you slid the shoji open, your eyes meeting him instantly. You’re confused, and also quite concerned at his sudden change of heart. Your expression softens when you notice his shy body language - smiling to yourself.

“Shinazugawa..?” There it was again, your lovely voice. “What are you doing?” You spoke in a hushed tone, a lullaby for his ears. Everything Sanemi intended on saying left his mind and rendered him braindead for a few moments. He stuttered on his words and was almost unable to say anything that made sense.

“Um.. Can I stay the night… Maybe? Please?” He stammered and avoided your eye contact with a blushing face. You stare at him, trying to wrap your mind around the words that just left his mouth. You giggled for a second, causing Sanemi to almost explode.

“Sure! I’m making ohagi, do you want some?”

And that’s when Sanemi knew he made the right choice in falling in love with you.

:

I really hope you enjoy this because I rewrote it so many times LMAO - Anyways Sanemi enjoyers rise. Have a lovely day sunshines <3

#Sanemi #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kimetsu #demon slayer #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba #sanemi shinaguzawa #fluff #shinazugawa #shinazugawa sanemi x reader #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi x reader #shinazugawa x reader #sanemi shinazugawa x reader #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you

[seunggelic]

a familiar face - lee felix

A/N: hii i kinda hate the way i wrote this one tbh so i might edit it later. sorry for any typos i didn’t rly proofread

pairing: idol!lee felix x reader

genre: childhood friends to potential lovers

description: you never had friends in highschool until you started to tutor lee felix. but when he disappears without a trace you never thought you would see him again at a concert your friend dragged you to. 

word count: 4.5k

Sophomore year

To make a long story short, high school sucked.

ok that may have been an exaggeration but it certainly wasn’t the fairytale experience movies and media made it out to be. It was mostly boring classes, loud lunches, and long nights slaving over homework. You had a few acquaintances from middle school but you never really formed a strong bond with anyone. “Maybe this year would be different” you told yourself but deep down you had low expectations. The upside to not having friends was less distractions, you were able to actually pay attention in class which meant you actually had decent grades. enter lee Felix. Perhaps the exact opposite of you. What he lacked in academics he made up for in popularity. The second he entered school grounds he would be greeted by at least three people at once, but who could blame them. He had the looks, the personality, and talent. You’d seen him perform in the school dance showcases, even you could see his talent was unmatched. everything in his high school career seemed to be perfect, except for his grades. It’s not like he didn’t try to focus in class, he just always seemed to be caught up in a conversation. his worst subject was calculus, it wasn’t completely his fault, the teacher was an angry old man who had it out for everybody. It was almost impossible to pass his class but there you were with the highest grade. Felix knew if he didn’t pass this class he might have to retake it during summer which would kill his social life. The only other option was to get tutored so he swallowed his pride and asked you for help. 

You felt his presence before he spoke, you look up to meet his gaze. You were a little surprised to see Felix standing there but tried not to show it. “Can I help you?” It came out a little more judgmental than you had expected and you could see Felix visibly get more nervous. “Uh you’re y/n right?” You nodded slowly still unsure of his motives. “And you’re in t/n’s *teachers name* class right” secretly Felix already knew you were in the same class as him, you only sat two seats away after all, but he needed to stall before he asked for your help. You nodded again. “So.. um- yea you don’t have to but it- I’m really struggling in his class and I don’t want to retake his class in the summer and he’s really mean and math is hard so..” He trailed off. “Im sorry what exactly do you need?” he paused. he realized that he hadn’t actually asked if you could tutor him “OH SORRY I was wondering if you could maybe tutor me or something since I know you’re really good at math and…stuff” you thought about it for a second. felix was nice and you literally had nothing else going on, it couldn’t hurt helping out a classmate “sure.” You could see his nervous energy melt away. “REALLY? Thank you so so much you are a lifesaver” and just like that, he ran off. You went back to lunch but looked up again when you heard his footsteps coming back. “Sorry I realized I didn’t get your number” he handed you his phone. Seeing your hesitation he reassured you “its only to like schedule stuff don’t worry” he flashed his iconic bright smile and you took his phone. After putting in your information you handed it back to him and he awkwardly stood there for a few seconds as if he was going to say something but decided against it. “Uhh ok..bye” then jogged off. 

*time skip*

afterschool you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. “Hi it’s Felix :)” thinking for a few seconds you typed a response “hey” real smooth. “I was wondering what days you are free?” You chuckled to yourself, imagining what it would be like if you actually had plans “pretty much everyday” there were a few seconds of silence “awesome, I have dance practice Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday so we can meet on like Friday if you want?” “That works for me” you put your phone down to start on homework. Then you heard another buzz “I cant wait :D” the gentle glow of your phone illuminated the small smile on your face but you shook it off and put your phone down, you still have work to do. Still you felt a light heat on your cheeks

*friday* 

You glanced at the clock, 2:57. Stop worrying, all you are doing is tutoring for two hours, then you can go home and binge the office. You and Felix had texted a few more times and agreed to meet in the library at 3. You double checked all the notes you had prepared and checked the clock again, 2:58. You laid your head on the table, why were you so nervous? Its not like this is a date, you are just one classmate helping another. “Hey y/n” his voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You shot up from the desk and stuck out your hand. he looked at it with confusion and you mentally slapped yourself in the head. He chuckled then gently shook your hand “you do realize met before right?” “Uh yea I don’t know it just felt customary” you shared a couple awkward laughs until you both realized you were still shaking hands. You jerked your hand back and avoided his gaze. he cleared his throat “uh should we get started?” You both sat down and you laid out the notes you wrote for this lesson “woah, you didn’t need to do all of this” his eyes widened seeing everything you had prepared “it was no big deal I had a lot of time” and with that the lesson began. 

Two hours seemed to fly by. Felix seemed to understand the material fairly well. You handed him some practice problems and told him to complete it by next Friday “damn are you really giving me homework?” he laughed and took the papers “its all part of the y/n tutoring experience” you said with a sheepish smile. There was a few seconds of comfortable silence. “So-“ “well-“ you both said at the same time. “Sorry sorry you go first” you said laughing “oh uh yea I was just gonna say thanks again for helping me.” “Yea its no problem, happy to help” you packed up your bag and rocked on your feet for a few seconds “well i’m gonna get going, see you next week” 

*time skip* 

Throughout the next few weeks, you would keep your head down, making your way through the school day while Felix continued his routine of greeting friends at every turn. However, on Fridays at 3 the two of you would be in your own world. Despite your contrasting lives you both found solace in each others company. You appreciated felix’s bright energy and felix found comfort in your quiet calm presence. You started to look up to greet him in the hallways and he would always make a point to stop and have a small conversation with you. His friends found it strange that this random person whom they had never seen before suddenly become a part of Felix’s routine but neither of you seemed to care. You didn’t hang out with each other outside of those small interactions in the hallways and after schools on Fridays but it was enough to fuel your growing feelings for him. 

“Y’know lix” you started “you’re actually really good at math, I feel like you don’t need me” Felix smiled at the new nickname “what are you talking about I was literally failing the class before you started helping me” “yea but I barely have to teach you, I just show you like one example and you instantly get it” he stopped writing then looked up at you. Moving a few inches closer he smiled “maybe I just have a better teacher now” you felt your cheeks heat up “shut up” you laughed and shoved him away. He tapped his pencil on the table a few times before looking up at you again. “I was wondering, if you were free Saturday?” “Uhh yea why?” He swallowed before he spoke again, “well I have this dance show case thingy and I was hoping maybe you could go?” He scanned your face for any reaction “are you kidding? Yea Id love to go!” he let out a sigh of relief before turning back to the homework “I cant wait” 

*saturday*

You stood infront a pile of clothes on the floor, why was this so hard? All of your clothes just didn’t feel right and you didn’t have a best friend to ask for advice. Rummaging through your clothes you found a pleated skirt your mom had bought you. You examined it in the light, you never wore stuff like this but if there was ever an opportunity to try tonight would be the night. You paired it with some random graphic tee you found in the pile. Before you had time to second guess your outfit you realized you were running late. bidding a quick goodbye to your parents you jumped on your bike and made your way to school. 

Your heart sunk when you saw how packed the theater was, the only spaces were in the far back, theres no way you would actually be able to see anything on the stage. You saw your phone light up in your hand, a message from Felix “btw, theres a seat for you near the front :)” your heart warmed at his thoughtfulness. You made your way to the front and saw a taped off chair in the front row. When Felix said near the front you didn’t think he meant right smack dab in the front. You sat down right as the theater lights began to dim. The dance director walked out on stage “hello and thank you for coming to this very special dance showcase. Our students have worked very hard to present you all with some amazing performances. This is a very special performance because we have some dance scouts in the audience tonight.” There were some quiet excited murmurs after this revelation “We hope you enjoy the performances tonight.” You watched her walk off the saw the first group walk on stage. Even with the lights off you could make out Felix’s silhouette. When the lights turned on you were shocked to see how ethereal he looked. The light formed a light halo behind his blonde locks and the light makeup highlighted his best features. Then the music began and you were in awe once again. You could see the passion in his face. He moved flawlessly, even though there were four other people on that stage, Felix had your full attention. When he looked out into the crowd his face lit up when he made eye contact with you. Throughout the rest of the performances, felix would steal glances at you and get shy when you were already looking. Finally, it was time for his solo. Even though he had been practicing for months he didn’t feel like he was good enough. He checked his pulse on his neck, a habit he had picked up over time. He peeked out of the curtain and saw you sitting there expectantly, he smiled and felt his heart rate pick up. He exhaled slowly and walked out on stage. the music picked up and he began his routine. You pulled out your phone and began filming his performance, since you felt like you would want to remember this forever. Felix poured his whole heart and soul into this dance and once again made eye contact with you, it was hard to see since the lights were shining directly in his eyes but to him you shined brighter. Before he knew it the song ended and the crowd erupted in cheers and applause. Out of breath he bowed and walked off stage. 

After the show you ran to look for Felix and congratulate him on his spectacular performance. It was easy to find him since there was already a large crowd around him. You managed to squeeze yourself in and gave him a small tap on his shoulder. “Y/N!” Overcome with emotions he pulled you into a hug, it was unexpected but you weren’t complaining. You were engulfed in the scent of vanilla and hairspray. you both became hyper aware that you were hugging in front of a decent crowd of people. He let you go and muttered a small apology “its ok” you said quietly. “Do you wanna move somewhere else” he whispered and you nodded. The two of you moved to a quiet corner. “You did really good lix” he scratched the back of his neck “do you really think so?” “YEA it was like I was watching an idol at a concert or something, seriously you were amazing.” His face burned red at all the compliments. He looked back at you “I’m really glad you could make it” he said quietly “me too..” you were getting distracted by his eyes. He cleared his throat reached for your hand “y/n, I was wondering-“ “Mr. Lee” an unknown voice surprised the both of you. Felix let go of your hand and turned around to face the man. “Hello mr. lee, I was very impressed with what I saw today.” “Thank you sir” Felix bowed “can I speak to you over there for a moment” the man gestured. felix looked back at you briefly “uh” you gave him a smile to indicate that it was ok “sure” the two of them walked a couple feet away. As the talked you replayed what had just happened a few seconds before. He held your hand. HE HELD YOUR HAND. You couldn’t stop smiling, pulling out your phone you fixed your hair and checked your teeth. You don’t know what you were expecting but you wanted to look your best. You looked over at Felix again and he was shaking the mans hand. felix began walking back in your direction but when he looked up at you his smile faltered. “What was that about?” You asked “oh.. it was nothing” “ah ok.. oh what were you saying earlier?” You looked at him expectantly. he looked back at you but something in his eyes had changed, they looked..empty? Sad? Either way it was different. “It was nothing don’t worry” you didn’t want to pressure him so you didn’t ask anymore. The atmosphere had drastically changed. “I should probably get going I guess” you said hoping he would ask you to stay “oh yea I guess.” Disappointed again you walked away. “Y/n wait!” You turned back around “you should take this, its really cold and you aren’t-“ he looked down at your skirt “you uh- you are probably gonna get cold so” he handed you his dance team hoodie. “Oh thanks, bye lix” you walked away again now bundled in his warm jacket. It still smelled like vanilla. 

*time skip*

You were going to take matters into your own hands. With the school year ending, that also meant tutoring with Felix would end. if he wasn’t going to ask you out, you were. You hadn’t seen him around the halls but you just figured he was busy, you would see him Friday anyway. 

Friday, 2:57 PM. You sit clutching a bag of his favorite snacks with a fully rehearsed speech about how much you like him in your head. You keep your eyes on the entrance to the library. 3:00 PM he should be arriving any minute now. 3:15..maybe he’s a little late. 3:45 maybe he just forgot today.. “hey lix idk where you were today are you ok?” *not delivered* you stared at the screen. “Not delivered” had he blocked your number? Tears threatened to spill but you held yourself together. You packed your bag and threw the snack in the trash on the way out. 

*time skip*

It had been a few weeks since you last saw Felix. You stopped going to the library since he was never there anyway. You would see his friends around school but Felix was never with them. You didn’t even know how to feel at this point, you were upset and angry but more than anything you were worried. How could he have just disappeared without a trace?

*major time skip*

It had been a few years since you graduated high school. You barely thought about Felix anymore, the sole reminder of him was the hoodie he gave you sitting in your closet. The scent of vanilla had worn off but it was your go to jacket for cold weather. In college you actually made a few really good friends. one of your closest friends was super into k-pop, specifically a group called stray kids. You didn’t know anything about the group but you did enjoy some of their songs. “Y/N!!!” Your friend burst into the room “what’s up?” She was practically shaking with excitement “ok so you know how I’ve been trying to get you into Kpop for like ever” you laughed “yea” “OK THIS IS MY LAST ATTEMPT” you looked at her confused “my absolute favorite group stray kids is literally performing in the next city over AND my brother works at the venue so he can get us super close to the stage” “what does this have to do with me?” “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO WITH ME IT’LL BE SO FUN AND IM PRACTICALLY GIVING YOU FREE TICKETS” she gave you a puppy dog look that you couldn’t say no to “..fine” she squealed and hugged you “thank you thank you it’ll be so much fun and who knows maybe you’ll meet someone there” she annunciated her words with a wiggle of her eyebrows. you snorted at her “yea in your dreams” 

A few months passed and it was time for the concert. You didn’t put much through into your outfit, you just threw on some pants and a shirt plus the hoodie that Felix gave you. a few years ago you wouldn’t be able to look at it without crying but now all you feel is a dull ache in your heart. “Y/n are you read- oh no. honey please don’t tell me thats what you’re wearing to the concert right” “what’s wrong with this?” She looks at you sympathetically. “Just be glad you have a best friend like me to help you with things like this” she goes into your closet and pulls out something you hadn’t seen in years. That same skirt you wore to Felix’s dance showcase “no way, that is too small for me now” “it’ll be fine! Live a little what’s wrong with a little extra skin” she said with a mischievous grin. Reluctantly you grabbed the skirt, with some struggle you managed to squeeze into it. “Aaaah! You look so good! This is gonna be so much fun” she grabs your hand and you make your way to the concert venue

She wasn’t kidding when she said close to the stage. You were only one row away form the stage. “Ok teach me about the members or whatever” “I thought you would never ask!” She pulls out her phone with a google search of stray kids. “Ok this is the leader, his name is bangchan and he is like the most amazing man in the whole world I mean they all are but he’s just AAH he’s amazing” you smiled at her excitement and passion “this is Minho but his stage name is lee know, he’s the second oldest and main dancer but he also sings and stuff. This is changbin he’s one of the fastest rappers in Kpop” you raised your eyebrows in surprise “hyunjin is one of the visuals but he’s also one of the main dancers, I mean all of them can dance but he’s just wow y’know?” she was going so fast you could barely keep up “ok this is jisung my personal bias he’s also part of 3racha oh I forgot to talk about 3racha they make like all the music and OH this is fe-“ she was cut off by the speakers blasting the intro music. you thought you went deaf for a second. “OMG OMGOMG ILL TELL YOU THE REST LATER” the stage filled with smoke and the crowds screams got louder as the silhouettes of the 8 members appeared. You were starting to feel the hype and excitement of the crowd and joined in screaming. When the lights turned on your jaw dropped. No more than 20 feet away from you were 8 drop dead gorgeous men. Google images did not do them justice. The music started and the crowd chanted along the energy in that concert hall was insane. After the song finished they lined up near the front of the stage to do introductions. Thats when you saw him “FELIX?” Your exclamation was lost in the screams of the crowd. As they went down the line introducing themselves Felix looked around the crowd. Thats when he saw you. “Y/n?” Unlike you however, he was hooked up to a microphone and everyone in the building heard him say your name. His members looked at him confused “what was that Felix?” Chan asked “oh uh sorry I’m just so excited to be here I accidentally talked out loud” the members laughed along with the crowd. When it was his turn to introduce himself he looked directly at you “how are you guys doing!! It’s felix here” everyone around you screamed in response, you were just dumbfounded. He disappeared with no explanation and how he’s a Kpop idol? He smiled at you but the bitter feelings of abandonment came rushing back and you turned to look elsewhere. his smile dropped but he knew he deserved this, he left without so much as a goodbye. he noticed the hoodie you were wearing, it warmed his heart that you kept it all these years. After the last member introduced himself they went back to prepare for the next song. You would be lying if you weren’t impressed with his skills. Not only had he improved his dancing skills, he was rapping and singing simultaneously. As much as you tried not to you couldn’t take your eyes off him. on the flip side, Felix knew he should be paying attention to all the fans that had come to watch them perform but he kept looking back at you. 

He stood under the stage while chan seungmin jeongin and Minho performed their unit stage. He peeked out of the curtain the separated the stage and the audience. He could see you, he just needed to get your attention. Trying to avoid the others attention he snuck off the got closer to your seat. He stuck his head out of the curtain again “y/n” he whisper yelled. You had changed quite a bit since high school but you were still the same y/n to him. He knew he was running out of time and would have to get on stage soon “y/n!” He tried again this time you didn’t hear him but your friend did. Her mouth gaped open as she pointed. he put his finger over his lips to keep her quiet then pointed to you. She nodded then tapped you gently. You look over and there he is again. The boy who disappeared from your life and left you heartbroken.  You thought about ignoring him again but your heart softened when you saw the desperation in his eyes. “What” you mouthed. He discreetly threw a piece of paper in your general direction and winced when he was about 3 feet off. his heart melted when you let out a laugh, he forgot how much he missed that laugh. He heard jisung asking where he went so he slipped back into the curtain and got ready to get back on stage. You picked up the paper and unfolded it “I’m really sorry, parking lot behind the building after concert :)” “so.. care to explain why lee Felix knows who you are?” “He’s just..” You looked at the note “an old friend” 

The rest of the concert had been wonderful, as much as you tried to stay mad at Felix you couldn’t help but smile every time he looked your way, the rest of the members caught on to his behavior and interrogated him after the concert but he was in a hurry to get out and meet you. You told your friend to go to the car and lied that you had to go to the bathroom. You stood alone in the parking lot and started to second guess yourself. This was a bad idea, what were you going to say, why are you here? Just as you started walking away you heard a familiar voice “where are you going?” You stopped in your tracks. “I didn’t know if you were coming” you turned around to face him. He was wearing a baseball cap and a black mask to hide his face but those eyes were unmistakable. “You look..good” he said “you too..” “I like your jacket” he said with a light chuckle “yea an old friend gave it to me” you said with a sad smile. He sighed before stepping closer “look i’m.. i’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have left like that” “why” thats all you could get out “I-“ he thought for a few seconds “do you remember the night of the dance showcase?” You nodded “when I was..talking to you one of the dance scouts offered me a spot in a trainee team, I couldn’t pass it up. I was gonna tell you but I couldn’t face you so I left like a coward. but I regretted it every day.” You looked at the ground “well, i’m really happy for you, I was just worried about you when you disappeared. It was..nice seeing you lix” his heart ached hearing the nickname. You started to walk away but he reached for your hand “I was wondering if I could take you out sometime?” “What?” “thats..thats what I was gonna tell you before the scout um. yea..” He trailed off. “I just thought you should know” there were so many things you could say in that moment but none of them felt right. You walked closer to him and wrapped your arms around him. his head ducked down into your neck “i’m so sorry” his words were muffled. you pulled away from him and reached up to give him a small peck on the cheek. even with the mask on you could see his face get red. “I would’ve said yes by the way,” you whispered in his ear “just thought you should know” You let out a small laugh “ill see you around lix” you pulled away again and walked towards your friends car before he had a chance to say anything back.

Bucking your seatbelt you felt a buzz in your pocket “I still need help with calculus. Are you free Friday at 3?” You smiled at your phone before typing back “sure :)”

#lee felix imagines #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #childhood friends to lovers #lee felix #skz imagines #skz x reader

[celestie0]

your favorite characters from attack on titan? and why?

oh em gee 🧚‍♀️✨ i will gladly n excitedly answer this question (spoilers below cut)

i’ll do a top three lol

my fave character in the whole series was hange :””) i lovveeddd them from the very beginning when i watched aot s1 in 2013 so its been a decade long love ✋🏼😩 i cried so hard during s4 pt3 :””) but yeee i just adore the nerdy scientific characters that aren’t scared of the imminent threat of the verse but rather intrigued and curious to almost a point of insanity lol. but i think the hange scene i loved the most was during midnight sun (BEST AOT EP EVER I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL) is when mikasa is terrified of armin not being the one they bring back to life n hange says something like “there are people that i wish i could bring back too” 😭😭 idk that scene hit me rly hard n really quantified the amt of loss in aot i think

my second save character is reiner >:3 bc he’s so babygirl n i wanna make him my housewife. LOL jk naw but i HATED that man s2-s3 bc his whole multiple personality thing was such bullshit like 🙄 ok so you’ve killed sm of my fave characters but you’re still acting like a good guy??? go fuck yourself dude. BUT i started to get intrigued by his character when he was so committed to giving ymir’s letter to christa during shiganshina arc in s3 pt2…and then s4 rolled around and i fell IN LOVE W HIM. he was the only marleyan side warrior eldian that showed the right amount of remorse for what they did on paradis island, and although his backstory is so sad n its obv not his fault he was groomed into a war machine at such a young age, it was nice that isayama made him so guilty to the point of suicidal ideation. and he pulled THROUGGGH during the finale omg the scene where jean held onto him and said he is also a scout☝🏼😭 fuck yeah. also i’d like to impregnate him

my third fave character UUGHHH ITS TOO HARD THERES SO MANY but honestly i just have to say eren. i have soooo many mixed opinions ab eren’s character i could talk ab his character for HOURRSS but s1-3 eren was my BABY. my SON. MY SUGAR PLUM PUMPY UMPY UMPKIN. i mean he was pretty generic shonen protagonist coded lol but he was just such a sweetheart that was so hotheaded n determined to take care of the ppl he loved. it was always so easy to empathize w him on so many fronts n i love characters like that. however his character took an interesting turn in s4, and although i don’t agree w his actions in s4, i can’t say i didn’t want to see him succeed either…super weird, i still don’t quite know how to feel ab the events of the rumbling (i mean i err on the side of it was incredibly evil of him) but the fact there’s sm nuance to his character, regardless of whether i agree w him or not, means he’s one of my faves (we dont talk ab his character in the ending though. shhh. to me aot ends s4 ep28…sorry)

honorable mentions: armin, erwin, levi

least favorite character: zeke (die mf die)

YEEEEE THANK YOU FOR ASK BB i love talking ab aot <333 lmk what ur faves are if you’d like to 👀

#not that u asked who my least fave was #but i will take up any opportunity to hate on zeke #fuck that guy fr #attack on titan #asks #anon

[dziedietmeitas]

hey guys, happy new year!

this is a late new year post (it's the first week so?? pass?) but december has been the happiest i've ever been in 2022, and where i felt at peace.

i also wanna thank yall who have sent me positive anons/messages whenever i feel down 🥺 i may not have been here much, but i feel rly loved and safe whenever i come back here.

so here are some important stuff ive learned in 2022.

never get attached easily, especially if it is someone you like - hate 2 disappoint yall but italian guy kinda led me on <//3 tho it's kinda my fault that i thought "oh we match personality-wise = instant like!". so now i have to tread new friendships (and romance if ever) carefully. even if the person seems promising, it's no guarantee they're good for you. make sure the person youre meeting is worthy of your trust and most of all, love. they should always respect your boundaries.

sometimes, closure doesn't give you peace - had a falling out with an old friend group. i was hoping that the talk between me and ex-friend would lead to reconciliation, but they were lowkey vindictive and vague. it really sucked. i could sense the friendships were falling in the beginning, but i was too blind to notice it i guess... i learned that if people don't wanna communicate healthily with you? it means you dont matter much to them. you can communicate things out, but slowly letting go is another alternative too.

don't isolate yourself too much. - its okay to get some space. we all need that time to time. but its ok to let people know you are not okay, and yes, you can ask some support. "hey, i'd like to take some space for now, but i also wouldn't mind some positivity too..." etc etc.

lastly, having people help you does empower you. - an important lesson i'd like to put in my future story. i struggle with asking for help/support, but i've met some kind souls who are willing to lend me a hand. it inspires me to do better. sometimes you get stuck and don't know what to do... and humans aren't meant to be isolated. we're a community oriented bunch. it's ok to ask for help!

im bad at ending posts but!! hopefully these 2022 lessons will inspire you. hoping that the yr of the bunny aka 2023 will be good to all of us ! 🐇🌸💓

#🌼 out of cēsis;

[malscare]

I know it’s not much comfort, I feel like I hate everyone around me and they all hate me and that everything is my fault and I’m just so repulsive. Rn I think I’m just sad and lonely. So I’ve been trying to be kind to myself, bc I deserve kindness and if no one else will give it to me, I will. And I’d like to share some with you. I love you, you’re not ugly or cruel, you’re a beautiful person who’s in pain. You’ll find a way out of this place, and out of this darkness, I know it. I had some light once and I’m holding onto hope that I’ll have it again. I’d share that with you too if I could. Let yourself cry and scream and laugh and sing please

Thank you, I really appreciate it and like honestly part of the problem is that I rly can't lol. I barely get any time alone so I can't express myself freely and loudly, and its not like I can go somewhere else and do that

[justalia]

okayyy so i’m boutta just vent tbh and i’m asking for advice. i’ve been a little lost so i might ask other accs lol. basically i’m 17 and i was in a relationship with this kid for a year. we were on and off but we never broke up for more than a week. i knew abt the law of assumption so i used that to my advantage everytime we broke up. this time when we broke up in april it didn’t work…. i learned from sammy that all you have to do is affirm and persist and i did that all the time. well now it’s may and lemme tell you, i don’t have that man 😐. now that we’ve been broken up he’s actually been a whore. yk that is my fault bc that was definitely my assumption. i told myself he’s a whore and he’s gonna be one and that he doesn’t care which showed up in my 3d. he had volleyball season and he asked for girls snaps and literally went to six flags with one of this girls. then he constantly is being a whore, flirting with girls who i hate (and he knows) 24/7. i applied states to this once because i see them every single day in class and it worked but then 10 minutes later it was different. i’ve been in a relationship before him too and i definitely want a boyfriend but idk if i should go with him again. if i don’t choose to manifest him again, i want that man obsessed with me for the rest of his life… i’m genuinely such a possessive and jealous person and he knows that bc he is too so the stuff he’s done….if we got back together i would need him on his knees crying and begging for me back. dude has me blocked rn tho…and you guys recommend to go straight to the end. but i want that man crying like a little baby apologizing at my house with flowers and shit. like would that still happen if i went straight to the end of me and him getting back together? idk if i want to manifest him or my dream dream man. i think i’m still attached. i just want him to apologize and shit and then after revise all of it. he’s always been a good bf tbh so this rly all started to happen once i assumed he didn’t gaf. but that man gave me princess treatment. and i love his family and his home. and he’s always being cute and taking me out and stuff but after all that he’s doneeeee??? idk. either way i still want him to be sobbing on his knees telling me how miserable he is without me but can that really happen if i just go straight to the end? bc i don’t see him as the type to cry. he only started acting like a bitch once we broke up. i see him as the person with a bunch of ego. and i’m using the distraction technique.

girl-

if you want a relationship w that man you need to forgive him for what he has done OUTSIDE of the relationship BASED ON YOUR ASSUMPTIONS!!! how the fuck can you be so mad at him when you recognize he is only acting like that bc you assumed he would? how is that his fault? why are you mad he’s simply enjoying his single life instead of being miserable for the breakup when you literally decided that’s how he was gonna act? makes no sense if you ask me. you can’t desire an healthy relationship and want the person to be miserable for you just bc they are not as sad as you over the breakup (bc you assumed it) 💀

you’re the only one deciding your 3D hasn’t changed by taking it as fact and looking at it through your state of lack. if you say you switched state and saw movement right away and then got mad bc you didn’t get more were you really in the state of the wish fulfilled?? be honest w yourself. you can approach this manifestation by going to the end only after you have let out all your feelings of jealousy and resentment towards him, if you truly want a relationship w him and want it to last you need to forgive that man bc he was only acting according to your assumption. that’s all other people are able to do, mirror your assumptions.

you can decide to manifest your dream man by deciding his traits and giving them to your sp, you still seeing your sp as not your dream partner is keeping you tied to your current circumstances and not allowing him to show up in the way you want him to. again other people are just messangers of your assumptions.

you’re imagining to get instead of just imagining to be. imagination is the only reality and all you will ever be able to experience. your sp could come back right the fuck now and according to your current state you probably wouldn’t even believe a word coming out from his mouth and would dismiss him. bc again we are only ever experiencing imagination.

if you love someone why would you want him to cry? bc you are miserable over this and he isn’t? why would that be his fault? if you want to manifest him do it, if you prefer to move on do it but remember: other people are just reflecting your assumptions.

[magnoliamyrrh]

This is probably going to sound rly messed up I'm sorry but am I the only one who actually sort of enjoyed being molested. I know it was wrong and it all leaves me feeling gross and off when I think about it but I can't help but miss it at times, which just makes me feel more gross. I hate to admit it but I did technically want it at times and I don't know how to deal with that. I feel like it's my fault because I may as well have been asking for it.

uhm, no. I don't think so. i think it's just a taboo within an already taboo and uncomfortable subject which we rarely speak about. nah, you're not alone in that. its just hard to admit, and a lot of times its a more pleasant prospect to dig yourself into the dirt and dissapear or just die than admit it.... i reckon more ppl have felt or feel that way than are willing to open up abt it. that's something thats always fucked me up too. as if it all wasn't bad enough you know and as if it all didnt leave me feeling fucked up and abormal enough, it just adds this extra layer of confusion and shame and skin crawling feeling and guilt on top of it all

... i think. idk. there's no use or reason to blame yourself for that or to beat yourself up over it. which is really hard. but bodies react in whichever way they will and,,,i dont think theres one particularly correct way to react to abuse. it is what it is. like idk. its obviously not okay that it happened in the first place, but its ok that you liked it. its okay that you miss it. it just is what it is. i dont think it makes you gross or wrong or some rarity among those whove been molested, and i dont think theres only one way to feel abt this shit. i think a lot of us know that confusing mix of repulsion and natural adversion mixed w the opposite of it, and a lot of us sure as hell end up hypersexual or masochistic or both, and its really hard to try to work through any of those feelings...you just reacted however you did and didnt rly know better anyway, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over that. but at the end of the day, no, its not your fault. even if you were literally asking for it, even if it wasnt "that bad" even if you catch yourself missing it, regardless of anything its still not your fault. it v much was the sole responsability of the adult in that situation to deal w it in a normal manner and behave appropriately, not yours. regardless of anything,.,, you were still taken advantage of and mistreated, and its still not okay, and im sorry you went through any of this anon <3 you deserved better but do know youre not alone w.. all the bullshit.. just... b gentle and understanding w urself about it, i dont think adding more shame and self hatred on top of it all rly helps. you were just a kid

[girl4pay]

okay i just binged ted lasso and i hold you responsible for that so two points: i love roy and keeley i love them so much like both independently and as a couple i love them and i love to see juno temple thriving and ALSO i need to hear your thoughts on Nate’s arc because it’s frying my brain in a like… good but awful way? it’s so well done and it makes me squirm to watch and i was having a whole conversation with my mum before i watched it about like… the importance of confronting your insecurities as like a kindness to other people like when you’re In It being kind to yourself and knowing your own worth etc feels like arrogance and insecurity feels like humility, thinking of yourself as less than other people feels like respect and admiration of them etc etc but like actually it’s not kind to think of other people as looking down on you, it’s not kind to let others get away with treating you in ways you don’t like then resenting them for it etc etc and like!!!! boy is nate’s story line a textbook guide to how letting your insecurities rule you completely fucks your relationships with other people like it’s not at all Nate’s fault he has those insecurities like people have treated him shittily but he’s becoming what he hated!!! ahhhhhhh idk idk it’s frying my brain i would love to hear angel thoughts on it if you’re in the mood to share!!!! and i love roy and keeley!!! roy kent the first time in any media ever a man has appropriately intuited and actioned a hug as what’s needed in a situation before it occurred to me to yell ‘give him a fucking hug for the love of god!!!’ at the screen! when jamie hit his dad and everyone was sat there in silence like ‘what the fuck do we do?’ and i was thinking god i actually… don’t know what i’d do in that situation either i’m with you guys and then roy just stomps over and wraps him up i was like ‘oh yeah!!! fuck that’s exactly what’s needed! obviously!!!’ first time in my LIFE i’ve been beaten to the punch on that conclusion i’m a real believer in hugs being the first line solution to all problems but roy kent got there before me and i love him!

ily omg im glad you’re enjoying it! i can’t rly fully answer this ask bcus its been more than a couple months since i watched the show so my thoughts and feelings are a little faded i’m excited to see how the next season goes though nick mohammed is definitely like a powerhouse actor bcus like goddamn. there are a couple storylines that im like hm let me be patient and wait bfor passing judgement bcus i think what the show actually does really well is like. frustrate you as a a watcher in a really good way like i remember in season one there were so many moments when i was like ugh this aspect of the show is so fucking annoying and then later i was like oh that was on PURPOSE that was deliberate to be resolved later which like duh that’s how writing works but i think its rare to find follow through for that in a sitcom yk. i think as it stands rn the roy and jamie dynamic is like one of my fav parts of the show they’re very fun. also loving sam’s storyline of like the tension between coming into his own as a grown man and wanting to live in a way his family and father would be proud of i think it’s a somewhat novel storyline bcus you really don’t get a sense that its ever going to lead to like the typical tv no YOU want that dad and i love it i love realism and complexity and love! also you’re so right like when roy gave jamie the hug…when roy told rebecca she shouldn’t settle! a man.

#ted lasso

[gojoest]

Hey! I totally get how you feel😔 my mental illness and adhd oftentimes prevent me from creating content all the time (I’m an fanartist on Instagram) and i sometimes feel inadequate to others who post content all the time and that ppl will get bored of me. And I think it’s this stupid algorithm that pressures ppl to constantly dish out content and causing ppl to believe their fans with hate them for not following it. But hey! It’s your blog and only you can make the calls on when to post and how long you want time to yourself! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise okay! Take all the time you need to take breaks inbetween bc of whatever life stuff is going on! We won’t fault you for it, bc we understand and want you to feel better when writing! Bc we all like you! You’re more than the content you dish out okay🩷🩷

thank you so much 😭🤍🤍🤍 i’m sorry you feel that way too, it rly sucks when it gets in your head :/ i’ve made peace with fact that i can’t put out content as in fics & drabbles as often considering how draining my work & daily life are, hence why i ramble quite a lot bc it’s quick and easy. i could be rly busy that day but still make time to post a few lines of whatever’s plaguing my mind that day :,) but what internally bothers me from time to time is how ppl follow me after reading a fic but get stuck with my nonsense for the most part jdhsidusj and i feel like i’m disappointing them or something :,) personally i don’t compare myself to writers who post more frequently than i do. ik everyone has their own pace when creating any form of art and it’s fine to be slow and take your time ! i rly admire ppl who come up with content regularly, i think that’s amazing and i love to see it !! but i can also understand how some might feel pressured to create more due to that but it just leads you to a rly bad headspace i think. your hobby suddenly turns into a chore of some sort you need to fulfill all while urged to produce by outside factors and not by inspiration. the point in it all is to feel good yourself while engaging in your pastime and not just to please others

#[ ai—mail ]

[anxious-pasta]

holy shit this is gonna sound so stupid, maybe i actually shouldn’t say that tho as my therapist would say it would “invalidate my feelings” i don’t want to invalidate them but if they weren’t so intolerable maybe i wouldn’t have such a hard time validating them. Really i just don’t think they’re that interesting, i don’t think i’m interesting. this wouldn’t be a problem if i actually knew how to behave normally around other people. but no i have to get anxious over the fact that i can’t ever think of anything to say to make people stay, or to make people like me which that of it self is so annoying like “oh boohoo people don’t like me and i’m gonna make it a problem for myself but not enough to change just enough to make my own life fucking miserable” and the truth is i’m not sure if i’m just too lazy to change or if it’s because i have such a hard time focusing on one thing for long enough to make any change in the first place. yet again starting a “new project” i won’t finish in the end. i mean it’s not like i died so i do have time to finish the project i’m just not sure when that’s gonna be. i love lists i think they are great maybe i should make one of every thing i want to change and see what the recurring pattern is in the bullet points, maybe i’ll actually see something i’ve never noticed and that will give me some fucking motivation to change. dissociation also doesn’t help though i‘m not sure if that’s what’s making me lose so much of my memory or if i just regressed and because stupid (this is such a big fear of mine). i picked up smoking i think, it’s just been a recent happening not rly wish to keep it going it’s an expensive habit in the long and short run. anyway going back to the fact that if i met myself i would hate me 😃 i admire so many of my friends and i am so judgemental i wish i could just love unconditionally and freely maybe it’s my dads fault i’m like this but i don’t even talk to him anymore so maybe i should start finding ways to fix it instead of just remembering all the shit he did to me. i think if i were to say this in therapy m would be like “ you need to start being kind to yourself and in time you will be to others as well” i am so fucking impatient tho will i ever be able to get through the process ?? i mean time passes anyway so might as well but it’s hard and exhausting and i am already tired.

how do i start changing if i am already tired, maybe i should ask that in therapy.

#writing this helped a bit i think #i’m not sure posting this will help but maybe someone will find it comforting #if anyone sees it at all #this is a very angsty post omg #well this is tumblr #i think it’s okay then

[shit-talk-turner]

Since when does a person who hangs out with a friend who is racist make it a racist too? Even if you're friends with a person by no means does it mean that you endorse everything that person says, does or believes, everyone has their own way of thinking. If you guys hate Miles so much that you climb straws and say things that don't stand then don't follow him and ignore him, easy // UMMM im sorry I need to stop you right away. Hanging out with a racist 1000% makes you at fault too. You don’t need to be a racist yourself to support racism and allow it to foster. By hanging out with people like that, even if you don’t agree, you’re allowing that behaviour to continue. And I agree, I love miles and don’t think he’s rly at fault. if anything, it’s Alex who’s at fault, hes the one that fcking dated her!!!! Idk why we are coming after miles. And also, it can apply to everyone in that group who saw what Taylor was saying on social media and didn’t say anything (Lola, Katie, zackery, Cameron, etc.). The person in the original ask clearly just has some weird vendetta against miles. however, hanging out with a racist does makes you an enabler of that behaviour and that’s important to acknowledge.

^

[vero-niche]

Dni-archive made the mostannoyingtmblruser-poll and has changed their header to essentially mocking tonysopranobignaturals deactivation. They have a history of harassment with all of the users targeted in the poll. I suggest using their submissions as a blocklist as it is an entire cesspool of people who get off on that kind of harassment and attention

ay, thank you anon for this, i have blocked them (and might check out the submissions too once i have more time).

i would also like to take this chance to say that im honestly sick and tired of these kinds of harrasser people. i dont have enough energy to spare for them in general, but these kinds of (usually twitter migrator) people are bullies, no more no less. as someone who had to deal with bullying (both verbal and physical) as a kid, nothing they do is anything new or the target's fault. and i hate that i have seen some of my dearest users being targeted by such people, Sivi (tonysopranobignaturals) included.

so, just a psa, if any of my followers experience this, you can message me anytime for venting or help too. make sure you block, and if needed (it doesnt stop, multiple accounts target you etc) report harrassment as well. tumblr staff is actually pretty quick with dealing with these reports (1-2 days) so its definitely worth the hassle.

im honestly rly saddened that Sivi had to leave, i hope she is doing better this way though. remember to take care of yourself and others, and ask for help. ily all 💞

#btw due to the bot situation only mutuals can message me via the chat function but my ask box is always open - lmk if something is personal #and i'll make sure not to post publicly etc #if needed i can dig up or make a tutorial post on reporting or countermeasures you can take #take care besties and remember you arent alone <3 #ask #sry for the long post but i felt i needed to say this

[eevyerndracaneon]

Hey, I don't mean to intrude or anything, being a stranger on the internet and all. Don't feel the need to answer this ask or anything but, I just hope you can hear me out and maybe something I say can help a bit... I've seen some of your posts today, I'm sorry you're going through the ringer. I've got a good couple of friends who deal with the very similar struggles and whatnot, so I just wanted to say pretty much what I always tell them regarding some of what you're feeling. I dunno your specific situation, and I know a lot of things are way more difficult to just outright fix than some people will say it is, so I'll keep this more general. And some of what I will say you might already know, but I feel they bear repeating. First off, your worth as a person is not tied to your ability to make money, or work a job or anything like that. You are a person, and that makes you valuable. No person or thing can ever take that from you. Second, never feel bad about wanting to interact with your friends and loved ones. Even if you're in a bad mood, I'm sure they'd love to spend time with you. Social needs are just as important as any other need, so do not feel guilty of them, and don't hole yourself up if that's not what you need right now. A friend of mine (and I do also to an extent) does this all the time and after they always reflect that it only hurt them.

Third, I'm sorry about whatever issues you're dealing with, with family or otherwise, I know how difficult that can be. There are no easy solutions, but, like, you just gotta keep carrying on, you know? Even if there's no option out today, there might be one down the road. On a lighter note, I think your art style is charming! I think you could get some commission work if that's something you wanted to do, it's less on your skill and more on confidence and a bit of luck, I think. Even if today sucks, it doesn't define you tomorrow and not all days will be like this. None of what you're going through defines you or your worth as a person. You've got this, and your friends and loved ones have your back. Keep on being you, A concerned stranger

ah right i did vent really hard on here huh, thanks for sending this out-

i've been vague overall with my posts bc im just going thru it today so some of what you've said doesn't apply but i can't fault you for it, since i didn't rly explain anything

i've tried for a few years now to have art as a job that i could maybe help pay for rent with if i ever moved out, but i just didn't get enough comms to even get to that point. u-u i'd LOVE to just draw for money but it just didn't rly work out the way i expected. maybe i'll give it another shot, i dunno (I'd have to increase my prices again for 2023....)

the house i live in rn is the one belonging to my partner's family. so i live with my partner. my boyfriend is long distance (i'm polyam if that hasn't come across with some of my posts) and i desperately wish i could live with him as well. my partner's family is amiable, but not exactly super friendly or welcoming. especially not if i was openly trans. (they have a trans daughter but refuse to treat her with respect so she cut herself out of their life years ago) my life is kinda trapped in my partner's room, in a corner, so i really don't feel like i have a home. it sucks, but at least im surviving and have a roof over my head and food to eat and warmth in the cold and cool in the heat.

you're completely right on the social front. i think a lot of us forget this. my boyfriend and a friend of mine both reached out to me an hour or so ago bc they were worried abt how i wasnt around like, at all, and i basically got the same thing from them. "its okay to be around, we can try cheering you up"

and finally the big one. i understand capitalism is trash for making us all think we need to make money to deserve life. i hate that i need to make money to be able to live on my own. luckily im not sitting here thinking im worthless solely bc i cant get a job or make money. but i need money to get a place to live in on my own, apartments need rent, houses need mortgage payments, and then food and bills and all that crap. i need a job for that to get pulled off. and i've been trying to get a job! i've been applying to places since the beginning of december! but no place has accepted me. i've gotten like three interviews. nothing else. its just really infuriating. all of my friends, even my boyfriend, are getting new opportunities, new places to live, new goals new motivations new everything. and im just kinda stuck.

today was really hard. all of these feelings welled up over the past half a year and i think just finally crushed me into the dirt today.

so its just kind of a sad day. im doing what i can now to make it better even if only by a little bit. but oof.

thank you anon for popping in and checking up on me, it means a lot <3