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carpedzem · 1 month

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under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

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meruz · 3 months

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another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

#ask #too much art talk in this one

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freshlybakedspiderbread · 8 months

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ive always wanted to talk a bit about how i feel about the connection between Yukari and Merry because i love the endless parallels and thematic connections (like everyone else on the planet 😁), but wondering if it was ever 'worth' it since i may just be spouting a lot of what is already considered 'common knowledge' among hifuu aficionados. Not to mention i think my thoughts on it are somehow both really messy but also crystal clear. 😐 Well whatever! Its my own head anyway so i'll try not to worry and am gonna attempt to elaborate even if just a little on this post, which may not be entirely coherent due to sleepy, post-medicine fatigue.

i feel like over the years i may have started to become reflexively more 'against' yukari = merry fandom, although 'against' is probably too strong and its much more complicated than just "i dont subscribe to that theory" because thats not even entirely accurate!

it is of course a classic and really cool idea of the Merry one day becoming Yukari has been and continues to be thoroughly explored by many many fans for moving, tragic, bittersweet, or thought provoking work. I love Absolute One-Way Street, and also Dream and Reality among many other works like it 📖

but i also think its a little stiffling to think of that as the one and only story to tell about them? Now its possible that the sentiment im about to express isn't actually common and im actually just making up a person to respond to, but i think taking the teasing connections between Yukari and Merry and treating the idea of them being the same individual as the absolute obvious truth is a bit of a limiting perspective.

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions and headcanons! but i want to make a case that when it comes to touhou and especially hifuu in particular, there's also a richer (and possibly deliberate on the author? who knows!) point to treat it more abstractly.

Maybe they are the same person. Maybe one day Merry becomes Yukari, or Yukari becomes Merry. Maybe they're different people. Maybe they come from the same lineage. Or maybe one is a clone of the other grown in a lab or made with a magic spell.

None of that is as important to me as the the roles they serve in their stories. touhou has always had themes about the gap and the bridge between fantasy and reality by taking place in a world where fantasy seeks refuge from reality, and hifuu goes much further in that theme by taking place in a reality that has completely left behind fantasy. That parallel is really cool to me and its embodied perfectly by both stories having a purple-clad blonde girl with the means to poking their toes into the boundary between fantasy and reality.

In the fantastical world of touhou, one serves as gensokyo's powerful (if frustrating, shady, annoying, disagreeable) protector with allies that she watches over (and sometimes manipulates) with her great power, all to preserve their little wonderworld. And I think its sooo compelling how zun introduced hifuu in the music cds and designed a very similar-looking character, who lives in a stifled reality lacking in imagination, mostly spends her day chasing after even the smallest traces of dreams with a partner whose own small logical world expanded with infinite possiblities upon their meeting...

In the last few cds, Merry's powers may be growing stronger and i get why feeds the implication she's becoming something other than human. But my take on that has always been its more of a sign that she and Renko are already outliers in their world simply for daring to believe there is more to the world beyond facts and logic. I dont expect their story (assuming zun ever brings them back. we havent heard what theyre up to since 2016....) to ever end with both or either of them becoming a youkai or vanishing to gensokyo, because frankly that wouldn't serve any purpose for the themes hifuu has been about, which is embracing fantasy while living in a world that has abandoned it.

trying to remember what my point with this post is.... Oh right its that I think all these themes about the nature of gensokyo or the state of reality in hifuu are only made richer when you think about how they contrast with one another. And by extension, I think Yukari and Merry are both richer if you think of them as conceptual and thematic counterparts in two different stories on the opposite end of a similar spectrum, before thinking about what literal or objective connection they might have. Subjectivity definitely means more than objectivity in this case!

#touhou #hifuu #yakumo yukari #maereverie hearn #< - my personal take on merry's name btw n_n #keep thinking i could use a tag for when i just ramble about touhou but at the same time its freeing to just let it out and about #like yeah my rambling can just occupy the same tag as all the fun pictures on my blog. thats fine!

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lizaluvsthis · 4 months

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can i say BR doesn't feel like your normal SMG34 fic normally the couple gets together fast or one dies and they dont end up together heck i have seen some toxic way of writing the pair. BR feels so thought out and has so much love in it im not surprising its spreading around in the SMG4 fandom

Yeah BR is not normal it's 'silly' 🤓 (a masterpiece)

Thats what other people get hungry to look for something they'd want to eat (angst or fluff)

But the story from this fic plays out differently in the end so you guys just have to "WAIT AND SEE."

(Wait what do you mean toxic way of writing the pair... now thats new to my ears- I havent heard of it before)

I'd be the one to blame for making this au cuz of its style and design from the clothes (COUGH- the uhhh romance and stuff from the story <3<3)

Well I'M SUPRISED. even Shay is too because we both had NO IDEA this got popular (AND HAS BEEN SPREADING AROUND LIKE ANT COLONIES.)

Cough- guess we'll have to expect the unexpected for what happens next- :>

I'll send some signs from the fic but before that you guys will have a lil something ^^

But thats just a hint <33

Thanks for telling us ^^

(Ah man- I wish Shay would get more ask box than I do I don't want to keep flooding my post with asks about BR TuT)

#lizaluv #smg34 #smg4 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #mario #smg3 coffee n bombs #shygirl4991

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00queasy00 · 1 month

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9 Fandom Folks To Get To Know Better

Thanks for the tag @cealesti!! :3c

Three ships you like:

oh god this is hard okay okay uuhh the ones on my mind rn 1. tomarrymort / soulseeker (hp) - i find them so iconic, you know? their ideals, their parallels, their similarities, there seems to be new things to discover about them at every turn, just keep putting them in situations and watch them wreck havoc. the soulseeker fandom is filled with so much amazing amazing people so kind and creative, i feel like i have accidently stumbled upon the holy grail, the paradise that never ends <3 2. radiodust (hazbin hotel) - i ship them as literally the queer-coded villains that have nothing in common, yet they bond over being the meanest hottest couple in the hotel together and know the ideal make-up brands to go into territory battles in. theyre like two drama queens on different ends of the spectrums. i like them toxic, i like them dramatic af, i like them in pink and red hahaha XD 3. lawlight (death note) - tbh im fairly new into the ship, despite being a longterm death note fan :0 i was more into mellodramattic before lawlight era hit me recently lol. i love how people, pretty much, turn them into their personal anime yaoi dolls and force them to kiss lol.

First ship ever:

uuummmmm im thinking hetalia ??? XD uh England and America <3 i can never get over the angst. the sunshine gay and the grumpy gay dynamic.

Last song you heard:

La Vie en rose (alastor cover) by Paranoid DJ Please check out PARANOiD DJ's fan songs for hazbin / helluva, theyre so good!!! The Lucifer, Alastor, Stiker, and Verosika songs are my faves!

Currently reading:

Vicious Circle by Bakuko, cyberslut404, estnedo I barely started chapter 1, so no thoughts yet besides I am excited to check this story out !! The Emporer and The Star by wynnebat I am rereading this story <3 I enjoy it so much and the confusing and deadly feeling Harry is having with his Seer abilities.

Currently watching:

I am actually watching a few things rn, I jump around a lot depending what I am watching with who: -Gurren Lagann - my lovely partner never seen it! i had to change that! one of my fave fave core animes. -Toilet-bound Hanako-kun - a comfort show with gorgeous. gorgeous designs and a fun twist of traditional ghost folklore. -Heartstopper Season 2 - my wife loves the comic, so here we are. -Trolls Dreamworks Movies - watching with friends <3 the designs are so adorable and are very fun! i am always so blown away with how creative the team uses different craft textiles throughout the movies! the second and third movie are my fave <3 theyre like an hour and half long each! fairly short, but i HIGHLY RECOMMEND for a good time!! -Harry Potter Movies - watching with friends on saturdays <3

Currently consuming:

Water!! Stay hydrated folks!! <3

Currently craving:

to listen to magnus archive from the beginning again -- but rather wait for the whole story to be revealed first before restarting it again x_x

Tagging (no pressure!!): @raehb336, @i-dream-of-libraries, @liquidluckandstuff, @laserswordtraining, @chaos-bear, @theonceandfuturequeenoftarts, @tommarvoloriddlesdiary, @isalisewrites, @cloverwoodss, @kagariasuha @duplicitywrites @crowcrowcrowthing and whoever wants to join! if you havent been tagged and see this, I TAG YOU! come join its fun :3

#tag game

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pansear-doodles · 10 months

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Heard about a comic where Hunter tells her kid what to do when they have a seizure. It sounds cool, currently trying to find it.

Theres another ask in my inbox after this stating that youve found it. Always use my tags in my blog :) (though i havent had the comic uploaded in the other sites yet)

If you want to, i can longingly ramble about my thought process on making that comic. I know its short, simple, sweet and lighthearted, but for many things ive created for rain world, there is a meaning and story (as everything ive built around the fandom has always been self indulgence and vent art)

When i made that comic, i was sleepy as hell, promised myself to go to bed so i can work on my mass attack (surprise, i still havent done that today due to all-day school, tiredness and a 6 hour video slandering toy story 4 distracting me LOL), but ive randomly thought of the comic after making some cute sleepy doodles (that of which i wont reveal because many of these doodles are for self indulgent purposes(i promise you its all sfw for those skeptical because i just dont not want to flood my blog with similar drawings of hunter and artihunter kisses lol- im doing that all for myself at least!))

A simple doodle of hunter being a parent laying on the couch (because i was sleepy and wanted to project that comforting cushiony feeling onto this to encourage myself to sleep) but then it suddenly sparked to me that ive always wanted to explore a bit more on hunter's role as a parent now that its been long established that they are arti's spouse and chose this lifestyle.

To talk about a bit of my own personal experiences, I'm familiar with living around relatives who require medical attention and support, so I kind of wanted to put that feeling to arti's kids facing the reality that their new parent has some things that pushes them back at times health-wise. My dad is diabetic (and old- hes like in his midish 60s while im 21) and hes been having his struggles. He could not do some basic things like putting his socks on and putting on his shoes without the help from someone and generally has difficulty crouching and standing up. He has to take his meds often. It is hard to see him grow depressed and grumpier over the years, but being apart from him for college makes him realize that he misses and loves me.

My grandmother is old and i think she has alzheimers (my mom is not clear on this to me since i dont generally talk about these types of serious concerning subjects to her about her own mother). Sometimes she falls without almost no warning and has to be around someone to care for her in case that happens, and yet I recognize that despite these things, she is quite sassy and pretty insistent on doing some things herself (despite my mother recognizing the risks and yelling to her about them out of care).

My own mother, while our relationship is not perfect and while i recognize that most of her parenting stuff to me have negatively affected me for the long run, i understand that she is not a flawless human being and most of what she does to me and to my dad and grandma and to anyone shes close with- she does that out of care. She nags at my dad for shutting down business opportunities because of his anger issues. Nags to my grandma who does ignorant actions. Nags to me for- well- i have to admit that I can be lazy. But i can understand all the stress that shes going through- that she has to actively take care of so many people in her life (and i have not even mentioned my brother, who is a whole can of worms that of which im not going to detail, is included) and i sort of wanted to project some part of that stressful experience onto arti and her dynamic with the other characters.

There is some form of resolution to my mother's case though- is that she has a lot of friends who help and support her. Who light her life even when shes busy all the time and goes scampering back and forth. It eases one to know that my arti does have friends, and gourmand has been most supportive of him aside from his own wifeusband. (Which leads to that panel where gourmand is shown also helping hunter and that hunter themselves encourage their child to also ask help from others and not just from their other parent(though i am probably reading a bit too much on this projection since its also just common sense to ask any grown up for help in general haha))

But back on hunter themselves and the relations they have built on their children- you guys know I love Bluey, but not only does the show introduce to me so many lighthearted concepts and coping mechanisms, but it also portrays the relations between parent and child in a way that i find quite realistic and mature. And these kinds of portrayals teach me how to write this dynamic. Hunter is like a Bandit, but I would like to work around the fact that this is Hunter's first time as a full-on parent on a committed relationship, while also having to deal with their terminal illness.

I do not think Hunter would be *the* perfect parent, but I think they would actively try to be a good one at least, and they would understand that their kids are smart and can learn how to fend for themselves from passing on what they know (ESPECIALLY considering the setting... This is still Rain World after all despite its more forgiving nature). Its something i would have wanted as a kid growing up actually- my parents actively teaching me to prepare my future circumstances instead of leaving me to figure out most things on my own or parade me with rewards and decadence expecting good outputs from me to pay it off.

But if there is one thing that they have taught me as a child that suggested that hint that I am smart if they give me the knowledge and reasoning of: are those days when they have to work, leaving only me and my brother at the house alone. They would tell me to never open the door to strangers and I would follow that no matter what.

I think, at some point, hunter and arti would teach their kids something like that. Its a slope see. Theres this short comic ive read long ago i dont remember the name of but whose plot i remember vividly: parents in a level of a video game teaching their child how to jump progressively higher and farther until the child is able to jump high and far enough to reach the other side of a giant pit thats situated so closely to their home. Thats the type of thing id like to portray. Small steps to progressively larger ones. Being taught growing up.

Many of these thoughts seem random, and theres still so much to go on i could talk about, but it all boils down to my tism and connecting some of my personal experiences onto these characters, and experiences i wish I had growing up. I do not have disabilities (or at least i think so), but i have experiences around people with disabilities and I can understand how witnessing these kinds of events involving them can be a harrowing and worrisome experience, especially when its from someone you care about.

In all honesty, i was delighted to know that there exists a disability pride month when I logged onto tumblr one day and saw my first post talking about it. Yes! I did not know it existed before. And now i have and i am glad. Theres been lots of people educating me, outside of the fandom and over the years. I dont remember what and how i was before. My back memory trauma with someone in the past has fucked me over, but its better late than never yunno

Sorry for the long ramble and sorry for being quite dramatic. I hope my words are of some interest and in good faith to you.

#ask

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koolkat9 · 6 months

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Haven't been able to watch ofmd season two yet but I have been keeping up with the fandom's reactions and gif sets. Honestly don't know if I want to anymore. I really hate when a show builds up a character, gives them growth only to either back peddle or in this case kill them off.

Not even taking into account the kind of message it sends considering this character was disabled and had suicidal ideation both of which he was finally coping with. But I just feels like a waste to watch that arc of healing that ends with the character dead in the last few minutes. Because I love healing arcs, and it feels so...out of place to end a healing arc like that.

Now some people said they thought it was fitting for him and good for them. I also think writers should he allowed to tell the stories they want, but I don't know. From what I've heard it feels like it would just be a slap in the face to watch, an unsatisfying death of a character a lot of people were just starting to get attached to. Now that could be pulled off well but from what I've heard, again, just sounds unsatisfying.

Do I think the writers are terrible people and deserve to be harassed because of it. No. I'm not even sure if I can call this poor writing, but it really doesn't seem like a story I want to follow...

I know it's bad to judge since I havent watched it myself but I've been really intrigued by this character arc and to see how it ends kind got me a little heated ngl. It's like the Chloe thing all over again from miraculous. At least she didn't die.

#ofmd season 2 #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #god i hope i don't bring discourse to my page 😢#this is just a vent more than anything

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bathboysblog · 9 months

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skitty, skitty I got a quickie for you!

1: if you had the chance to meet any of the welcome home chararters who would you want to meet.

2: what would you say to them?

3: and have you ever heard about... charlie the cursed phone guy before?

oh jeez, thats a hard one. i think Clown did a really good job with mimicking that warm and cozy feeling of old children's shows (Mister Rogers especially comes to mind). there seems to be a character for everyone to enjoy.

for me personally? its a mix between Barnaby, Sally and Poppy.

i havent listened to all the audios from the update on the website yet (wah! adhd, have at thee!), but from the snippets i have heard, i just adore their personalities.

for one, Sally is so excessive in the way that she speaks, i love her drama kid character (i had always assumed she was a fire cracker chaos maker, but i was pleasantly surprised with this new perspective. hell, i like it even more than the fandom perceived one!). shes the one ive found my attention being drawn to the most on the site. her voice is bold and confident, full of emotion, and i bet shed have some real good stories to tell. sadly, she wouldnt be able to get me out of my hiding spot from behind the curtain. but hey, painting stage props would be fun! maybe i can even learn some sewing while im up there.

Poppy just seems so domestic, im melting. all of her hobbies are calm and relaxing, which is a stark contrast to miss 'camera, lights, action!' above. she seems like the type of person where you can bond over comfortable silence and never have it be awkward. i would either crack my tooth or shred the roof of my mouth on her seed muffins though, so cant really add baker to the list lol. i myself have always wanted to learn how to sew, and i think she would be the perfect kind of mentor for something like that. someone whos very patient and understanding is admirable to me (even if it makes her somewhat of a pushover).

but, ultimately, my choice goes to Barnaby. im ass when it comes with social cues, and from the audios, so is Wally lol. but, using the little blue man as an example, Barnaby takes Wally's ignorance with endearment. Wally didnt feel out of place in the 'Hotdogs' audio, despite clearly being lost in the conversation. its comforting to know that youll always have a friend that welcomes and accepts you, no matter what the situation will bring. Barnaby's jokes never felt like they were trying to break tense atmospheres, they seemed natural and ordinary. the puns would make me cringe inside, but honestly, what else is the point to having friends? i could easily see myself in Wallys position in the audio, so of course my pick would be his best friend.

overall, like i said before, Welcome Home does a damn near perfect execution of its title. no matter who youre around, youll never feel out of place. i think the audios made that concept much more real than the text descriptions did.

and sadly, no, i have not heard Charlie before. but he scares me.

#mail for Soggy? thank you!#asks #Welcome Home #not used to personal talk like this #this was a very sweet thing to ask #yes i know its a horror series but.#i do not see.#i am not looking.#comfort series and ill cry if anything happens to the blorgos

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henbased · 1 year

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CHARACTER INTERVIEW - JUDE BLANCHARD

tagged by @florbelles to do an age old OC interview that im sure i had been tagged in so many other countless times. so how about i be the one to spring them back around!

no pressure, i have no idea whose done this but if you have but havent for another character... 👀✨. sending them out to @adelaidedrubman @8bitpizzacoupons @unholymilf @fourlittleseedlings @roofgeese @stacispratt @dirtyimbecile @necro-hamster @shallow-gravy @poetikat @strangefable @deputy-morgan-malone @strafethesesinners @turbo-virgins @killyourrdarlingss @thespiral @locustandwildhoney @ishwaris and anyone else who wants to do it! for any fandom just tag me i wanna see 😈

shoutout to stella for letting me completely steal her template #slothliving

the heralds are very curious about the deputy hanging around joseph after the botched arrest. john's been tasked with gathering information.

NAME?

JUDE. jude.

JOHN. full name, if you would?

JUDE. judith.

JOHN. i heard from a certain little mouse that your last name is —

JUDE. nancy, yeah. It’s blanchard.

ARE YOU SINGLE?

JUDE. raises an eyebrow.

JOHN. clicks teeth.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

JUDE. i wouldn’t use that word.

JOHN. what word would you use then?

JUDE. neutral.

ARE YOU ANGRY?

JUDE. depends.

JOHN. on?

JUDE. the hour.

ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED?

JUDE. snorts. i guess.

JOHN. you don’t know?

JUDE. is a dead widow still married?

JOHN. it depends on how long the deceased has —

JUDE. been deceased? guess they wouldn’t be married after 13 years. it really isn’t death do we part then, huh.

BIRTHPLACE?

JUDE. philly.

JOHN. hm.

JUDE. something to say?

JOHN. it just explains a lot.

JUDE. like?

JOHN. would you like to continue?

HAIR COLOR?

JUDE. blonde.

JOHN. dullish blonde.

JUDE. dishwater blonde.

EYE COLOR?

JUDE. brown.

BIRTHDAY?

JUDE. march 13th, 1990.

JOHN. you’re a pisces.

JUDE. isn’t your little creature a scorpion?

JOHN. how do you know my —

JUDE. joseph told me.

MOOD?

JUDE. could be better. could be worse.

JOHN. are you not delighted by my company?

JUDE. laughs.

GENDER?

JUDE. gal.

SUMMER OR WINTER?

JUDE. summer for the weather, winter for the ambiance.

JOHN. the ambiance?

JUDE. i like the quiet.

MORNING OR AFTERNOON?

JUDE. morning, but i hate getting up for it.

— EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.

ARE YOU IN LOVE?

JUDE. hums.

JOHN. (after a beat) if you don’t want to answer, we can —

JUDE. let’s do that.

WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?

JUDE. laughs. I don’t even remember.

HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART?

JUDE. don’t think so. (a beat) probably.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS?

JUDE. that’s an interesting question.

JOHN. are you avoiding answering it, deputy?

JUDE. well, seeing as i haven’t shown up to be a deputy in awhile, guess you could say i am.

JOHN. why is that?

JUDE. cuz i’m busy answering people’s stupid questions.

HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITH IN THE LAST WEEK?

JUDE. laughs. yeah.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER?

JUDE. it was more like a stalker situation.

JOHN. that sounds frightening.

JUDE. yeah. the guy even had his siblings in on it, asking them to try and get in my head. was a whole thing.

JOHN. i'm assuming you got away safely.

JUDE. eh. got me to where i am now.

HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART?

JUDE. you gonna be asking me questions like that you should be treating me to some whiskey.

JOHN. eden’s gate does not endorse drinking alcohol, which you very well should know, and second of all, i do not have anything like that in my —

JUDE. oh fuck off, i won’t tell him. pour us some shots. what’s the next question?

— SIX CHOICES.

LOVE OR LUST?

JUDE. coughs. fuck. uh —

JOHN. actually, let’s —

JUDE. lust.

LEMONADE OR ICED TEA?

JUDE. iced tea.

CATS OR DOGS?

JUDE. either.

JOHN. you strike me as a cat person.

JUDE. that feels like an insult coming from you.

JOHN. it’s just an observation.

A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS?

JUDE. (silence) i miss — (silence) many regular friends.

WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN?

JUDE. wanna do this one with me?

JOHN. no.

JUDE. (sound of glass clinking) romantic night in.

DAY OR NIGHT?

JUDE. daytime. the feel of sunlight on you. can’t beat it.

— FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS.

BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT?

JUDE. we were all teenagers once.

FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS?

JUDE. (gags) god this taste like shit.

JOHN. can you please answer —

JUDE. it’s not even a good question, calm down. ‘course i have, i was a teenager once.

WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT?

JUDE. hums. yeah.

JOHN. pause. is it —

JUDE. it’s hard to explain.

JOHN. how so?

JUDE. it’s complicated.

JOHN. care to elabor—

JUDE. no.

WANTED TO DISAPPEAR?

JUDE. laughs. yeah.

— FOUR PREFERENCES.

SMILE OR EYES?

JUDE. is this almost done with?

JOHN. answer the question.

JUDE. smile.

SHORTER OR TALLER?

JUDE. doesn’t really matter much to me.

JOHN. you are quite on the —

JUDE. shorter side, you’re so funny.

INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION?

JUDE. attraction.

JOHN. quick to answer. are you truly that shallow?

JUDE. yeah.

HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP?

JUDE. what’s the section after this?

JOHN. family.

JUDE. do one with me and i’ll answer the question.

JOHN. no, i already have to edit this, just —

JUDE. so you’re already editing it! i’m pouring two.

JOHN. don’t — you haven’t answered —

JUDE. relationship.

— FAMILY.

DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG?

JUDE. we did.

JOHN. not anymore?

JUDE. nope.

WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A MESSED UP LIFE?

JUDE. (a beat) no.

HAVE YOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM HOME?

JUDE. no.

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT?

JUDE. no. well, my mom used to tell me to go to the park whenever she got pissed off at me, but i don’t think that’s falls under being kicked out.

JOHN. hmm. did your mother get angry at you a lot?

JUDE. eh, she was just hotheaded and opinionated.

JOHN. and your father, was he around during all this?

JUDE. i’ll answer if you tell me what the duncan’s were like.

— FRIENDS.

DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS?

JUDE. it’s not really a secret, and they’re not really my friend.

JOHN. i’ve never seen you talk to anyone besides joseph.

JUDE. and you. right now.

JOHN. we are not friends.

JUDE. i wasn’t talking about you anyway, moron.

DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS?

JOHN. what kind of insult is moron, anyway? what are you, ten?

JUDE. are you upset over being called a moron?

JOHN. i’m not upset —

WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND?

JUDE. don’t have one. wanna be my best friend, john?

JOHN. no.

WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU?

JUDE. do one with me, come on. don’t be a buzzkill, i know you drink.

JOHN. you’re — you — groans. will you promise to answer the rest of them with no complaining?

JUDE. yeah, i swear.

JOHN. (a beat, sound of glass being set on a surface) there. now, if you would please —

JUDE. (coughs) god, i hate whiskey. joseph does.

JOHN. he does not like whiskey.

JUDE. no, he knows the most about me, you moron.

JOHN. i am not a —

JOSEPH. (muffled) what are you two doing?

(recording stops abruptly)

#oc: deputy jude #oc interview #this was just a fun lil thing to get back into writing jude #and figure out her dynamics with john #bc hes a funny lil man

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sssquiddles · 9 months

Text

i dont know how active the red embrace: hollywood fandom is over here (i havent really looked ghfkdsjg) but here: AO3 link

(i appreciate any support over on ao3 but ill post the full chapter here too!)

and the darkness has not overcome it

As the blinding glow of the lights and his cocktail of drugged blood faded, Heath took a step back and failed to realize what he’d done, not until he returned to the hotel...

And set his eyes on the freshly embraced vampire he thought he’d left for dead at the Abattoir.

Rating: Mature

Relationship: Heath/Female Player Character

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Divergence, setting appropriate levels of sexual content, named OC, Sire Heath, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Iscari Player

Words: 4.5k

Coella clasped her hands together in front of her chest, a mimic of a prayer as she practically felt the drawing glow of a halo cast rays from behind her head, drawing the gaze of those who would otherwise pay her no mind.

She wasn’t used to garnering attention, much too comfortable hiding herself like a frightened animal in the corners of gatherings like this. She was used to her words carrying on the wind, whispered wisps of thoughts, tapering off as she realized she wasn’t being listened to- not this.

Not starved, desperate, antsy gazes of those who waited to hear her verdict.

To them she was the newly embraced, the neutral party- Saorise’s lackey who ran with all of LA’s crowds, had a friend or two in each of the three warring clans—or to some, a saint, sent to settle this years-long dispute between the three LA clans, an angel whose words could reach even the coldest, stillest hearts.

She didn’t do anything to earn this unwarranted political favor, to end up in the hot seat, she was just… lonely. Lonely and scared and she wanted someone to understand her, to listen to her, to comfort her- instead, she offered her comfort, her own listening ear, her own, apparently, calming presence.

And now, she stood on a stage in the last neutral ground of LA’s vampire clans, tasked with declaring it under the control of whichever clan she deemed worthy…

~~~

Her story had started in that very same club, one late night after another bombed audition, she’d sat at the bar, nursing something strong and sweet and trying desperately to cling to the last dredges of her Hollywood dream.

Why else would she have come to Hollywood, other than to make it- a model, actress, or singer, as some kind of A-list celebrity.

In the spotlight…

It was the far off dream of a little girl who hadn’t had a home, and could never feel settled in the one she’d been brought into, no matter how much love she’d been showered with. Nothing could fill the hole in her heart that had formed in the years she’d spent unwanted, unseen, invisible.

But Los Angeles… the city of angels… it held the key to filling that space in her chest. She just knew it.

She’d starved herself for this role, stayed up a couple of nights trying to get the lines just right, practicing in the mirror, haunted by the sight of her own reflection, only seeing that lost little girl each time she glanced in her own, dull gray eyes.

“Damn them,” she murmured, staring sadly down at her drink. Her savings were whittling away, more and more with each failed audition, each photographer that ghosted her after taking her money and pictures- she’d have to move back home soon, at this rate.

Or worse, call her adoptive father and beg him for some more money.

He’d give it, of course he would, but he’d ask her how she was doing, ask her if she’s going to visit home soon, and he’d end the call knowing that she was struggling.

Hell, if she sounded too pitiful, he’d probably drive out there to drag her home himself.

“Rough night…?” A soft voice called- much too soft to be heard over the pounding music of the Abattoir, but somehow she heard it as clear as if the room were silent, as a man moved to take the empty seat beside her.

He had a glass of dark, dark red liquid. Red wine, at a bar like this?

Coella slowly dragged her gray gaze up towards his face, having a hard time discerning his features from the flashing, colorful lights of the club. She caught a few glimpses, though- sad, hazy green eyes, a sharp jawline, reddish lips, a flash of white teeth.

She felt drawn to him, a moth to a bright, lonely lighthouse.

“I guess you could say that,” she replied, her own voice too soft to really be heard- but when she looked up to repeat herself, she could see him tilting his head inquisitively, as if prompting her to continue.

Tucking a strand of whitish blonde hair behind her ear, she continued, “I bombed an audition today... Stumbled over the lines, even though I practiced them like, like I should have known those lines better than I knew how to breathe, but- but I just froze, or something. Third one in the last couple weeks, just…” she let out a troubled sigh, taking another long swig of her drink, blinking as it pushed her over the threshold from sad tipsy, to despairing drunk. “Even when I don’t bomb them, it’s like I’m invisible to those people. Like- like what do I have to do to be seen?!”

Suddenly remembering the pretty stranger she was talking to, Coella’s face flushed, glancing up at him in worry—expecting to see a man who didn’t realize he’d picked a crazy emotional broad to chat up, or something. As her lips parted to apologize, he spoke-

“I see you.”

Three words, quiet, drifting into her ears like a melody, and the young woman could feel herself melting. She could have cried—it was stupid, but it was like this man was hypnotizing her.

“Y- You… um, I- I’m sorry,” she’d said, staring up at his ever-changing face, the strobe lights making it entirely impossible to get a good look at him. She’d had more to say, but was finding it hard to remember what it was, as she fell into his eyes. Deep green and sad, hazy like he wasn’t really all the way there, looking down at her.

The man was silent, fidgeting with the end of a dark colored scarf that hung limply over his shoulders, head tilted as he looked down at her. His gaze was hungry, but soft, conflicted. Like he was debating whether to say or do something else.

Part of her wanted to scurry away, some feeling of nervousness rising in her throat, despite his soothing presence. Maybe it was because he was a little too perfect, that he’d showed up to listen to what she needed to get off her chest, and say exactly what she needed to hear…

“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t… um, catch your name…?” Coella finally stammered out, her heart hammering in her ribcage, trying to jump out and run away before she stupidly started to fall for this man she’d just met.

“It’s… River. And… yours?” The man replied, his voice drifting into her ears once again, as he dragged a finger down his wine glass, keeping his gaze on her face.

“River…” she repeated, before shaking her head. “Mine’s- um, Coella. Sorry for rambling on before, I’m just- just, a little frustrated. You- I’m sure you know how it is for us newcomers. Starry-eyed and naive, I- I just need a reality check. Drinking isn’t doing much to help me, a- and- um, I’m rambling again…”

A soft laugh fell from his lips next, and Coella swore she saw the white of a sharp fang peek out from behind them- probably just the flashing lights. She was too focused on how nice his laugh sounded to notice the wry quirk of his lips.

“There’s nothing wrong with holding on to that, innocence. Sometimes it’s better if the curtains never get pulled back,” River replied, shaking his head a little as he took a long drink from his glass. When he set it back down on the bar, it was on the side that she was resting her hand, his fingers brushing against her’s.

Coella felt the spark before she felt the chill of his skin, focusing only on how her heart raced. He sounded like he knew exactly what lay behind the proverbial curtain, and she was beginning to grow more and more curious- she wanted to know what he knew, see what he’s seen. What more to Hollywood was there?

Feeling emboldened by the few dirty Shirley's she’s downed, Coella brushed her fingers against his, on purpose, tilting her head to look up at his eyes. “It’s not a bad thing- to lift the curtain. I want to be on the other side, instead of looking in from the outside. I- I want to shine, wouldn’t you?”

River looked taken aback for a moment, before his face settled into something almost sad, though he was smiling at her, that haziness in his green eyes only settling deeper.

“Do you?”

Coella nodded earnestly—whether or not he really was in the acting scene, like she felt like he was, the connection she felt with him was undeniable. When he took her hand and led her to the back of the club, somewhere secluded, where they’d already passed other couples halfway to copulating, she followed without protest, stumbling a little behind him.

Though they’d come to a corner where they were no longer under the strobing, colorful lights, Coella found she still couldn’t focus on his face—though she’d barely gotten a chance to try, as his lips pressed to her’s, hot despite how chilled his skin felt against her’s.

His hand slid down her back, settling in the dip to keep her pressed tight against his chest as their lips hungrily collided.

The blondish girl felt pinpricks of pain as he bit her lip, before something more euphoric rushed through her. He licked the blood that flowed from his bite, before kissing down to her neck, where he’d nuzzled her pulse point, lapping at her warm, flushed skin.

“Do you… want to see the stars?” River murmured against her skin, his voice sounding and feeling much more far away than it had at the bar. Like he was seconds from pulling away and leaving her there, high and dry.

“Yes, yes, please,” Coella pleaded softly, fingers curled in the material of his leather jacket, terrified of losing this opportunity. Whatever it was, a passionate love affair, or something more—a foot in the door.

He swore softly against her skin, before he sunk his teeth in her neck—much less gently, than anything else he’d done that night, and the shock made Coella sober up in an instant, as she felt her warmth draining into him.

“W… Wait…” she whispered, her own voice sounding far away, her hands clinging much tighter to the stranger. The initial euphoric feeling was fading into something colder, the longer his mouth stayed latched to her neck, her pounding heart beginning to slow, turning quiet.

Instead of clinging to him, her hands began to claw at his arms, weakly trying in vain to stop him before he’d drained her completely, her eyelids fluttering as her consciousness waned.

Was this it? Her last hurrah in Hollywood, being murdered by some psycho vampire fetishist, with no accomplishments under her belt?

Was this how her unremarkable stint in the city of angels was going to come to an end? Quietly passing away in the back of a booming club, her body to be found by the clean up crew later? Would they just leave her unknown, left in an unmarked grave, her family left to wonder what happened to her?

As the last dredges of her life faded, warm, coppery blood was smeared across her lips, dripping into her mouth and down her throat.

Then she felt her body as it was lowered to the ground, footsteps hurrying away.

Left to die.

~~~

When Coella came to, seconds, minutes, hours later—she could tell something was… wrong. The dim lights of the back hallway were too bright, the booming club music, which had already been too loud for the poor sensory-sensitive girl, was now deafening, and she could very clearly hear the smacking moans of the other couple a little ways down the hallway.

All of that, but she couldn’t hear her own heart beating any longer, and she felt… cold. Very cold.

Rising to her feet, her hands trembled as she looked down at them, opening and closing her fingers. The first thing she noticed was her nails- previously cracked and chewed on, were now healed and shiny, as if buffed. She reached up to give her cheek a pat, unsure if this was real life, or if she’d begun dreaming.

Soft flesh pushed against her fingers, damp with tears. She wiped her face and pulled out a mirror quickly, being greeted by the reflection of two, glowing silver eyes. Pulling the compact back a little to take in the rest of her appearance, she found her skin paler, but smoother, her stress breakout was gone. Her skin practically glowed, as if inlaid with diamonds, and her hair was smooth and shiny, too.

It… must have just been the alcohol. Or the sex she didn’t quite remember having, if that… happened at all. She shuddered, her stomach turning at the thought of that man taking advantage of her when she passed out.

She stumbled further down the hallway, and out the back door as her stomach turned really sour, and she threw up the last dredges of her very last meal, completely emptying the contents of her stomach.

On her knees, she slid a hand up her thigh, checking- with a bit of relief, finding that her panties were still there, untouched. That was… comforting. Still, not knowing for sure made her skin crawl, a very real fear making her feel like her stomach was going to turn again. She felt dirty, and she wanted to go home and take a shower, then call home.

“Havin’ fun down there?”

Coella jumped, stumbling to her feet, hands shooting to her sides at the sound of a voice, a nice southern drawl.

Fearful, like a rabbit caught in the sights of an apex predator, she dragged her eyes up to the source of the voice, finding a pair of light-colored glowing eyes peering at her from behind a pair of sunglasses. It was definitely still night time.

“How- d-did you see- I mean, I wasn’t- I j-just wanted to make sure-” Coella stumbled over an explanation, hot tears of shame rising up in her eyes as she desperately tried to explain that she was not touching herself like that.

Thick dark eyebrows raised, along with a pair of gloved hands, as if to say ‘I mean you no harm’.

“No need to explain yourself, I’m thinkin’ you’ve got quite a few concerns now that you’re a walkin’ dead,” the man drawled, lips curling into something more akin to amusement. “You smell fresh.”

“A- A, what…?”

“I guess walkin’ dead makes you sound like a zombie, a little too brainless for most of our kind. Apologies, allow me to introduce myself… I’m…”

At the frightened, trembling gaze of the young woman in front of him, the man seemed to decide against the showy introduction, shaking his head.

“My… you’re as docile as a lamb. My name is Markus, I’m here to escort you to your new boss… Coella.”

“H- How do you know my name..? A- And what did you mean, walking dead…?”

As he took a step forward, she took a shaking step backwards, pressing herself against the brick wall of the club, feeling the music vibrating against her back.

“I make it a point to get to know every fresh face in LA, whether they know me or not. And no, I’m not sayin’ ‘walking dead’ as some cruel nickname before I murder you. I think you’ve had enough close encounters with death for one night, wouldn’t you say?” Markus shook his head, clicking his tongue. “You’re a vampire now, little one. A blood sucker, human predator of the night. Can’t you feel it? Your own… otherworldly glow?”

“Glow…?”

“Mm, especially bright for you- house of the stars. How fittin’ for a rising star. Former risin’ star, of course, we’ll have to erase your old identity…”

“House of the stars…?” she couldn’t help but continue to repeat what he’d said back to him, in a daze.

Suddenly she remembered- a flash, from before she woke up.

“Do you want to see the stars…?”

That soft, melodic voice, twinged in sadness.

That man- River, wasn’t some weird murderer who thought he was a vampire, he really had been a vampire. And he’d turned her into one.

She pressed her fingers to her lips, feeling like she was going to be sick again.

Markus clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Really, they should give you a full brief before they force you to take the full dive. Come here, I can tell you all about this new life on our way to the hotel.”

Coella hesitated, staring into his eyes, her muscles tensed to run, but something in her calmed—or gave up, more likely. She’d already died once that night, what else could really be done to her?

Shoulders sinking in defeat, she nodded, walking towards the man, catching as his eyebrows raised a little in surprise, before settling.

“How docile indeed, little one.”

~~~

Heath was coming down from a myriad of drugs as he stumbled into the Hotel, spitefully ignoring the pitious gazes that followed him wherever he went.

He hadn’t quite overdosed- it wasn’t really possible in that infernal body to do so, but he’d certainly gone overboard, having thrown in a hallucinogen this time around. The Abattoir, with its swirling, colorful lights and deafening music just felt… right. He felt drawn to the heady atmosphere like he never had before, often preferring the quiet ambience of his own bar, or the solitude of his own room, over such a crowded and sweaty place.

Drawn even further to the bar, towards the mortal, lonely and shining within the crowd.

He couldn’t remember too much about her appearance, besides the ethereal glow around her, a halo offset behind her wispy white hair, and the fluttering of white wings on her back- that had to have been the hallucinogen.

He remembered being close, too close, and the taste of warm, fresh blood—holding a life in his hands, and soft grasping hands.

And then panicking- smearing his blood on her lips, and running.

So… he’d created another cursed existence today.

“Fuck,” he murmured, running a hand through his hair, tugging at the silvery locks with a wince.

He couldn’t be sure, of course—that dose was strong. Maybe he’d just imagined the entire thing, fell asleep piss-drunk in the back and dreamt the entire encounter.

Yeah…

The lobby had been abuzz with something—apparently one of the new embraces had been mixed up, someone Saorise had picked out bailed, but someone else was embraced in their place, on the same night, by accident. Filling the spot. Weird coincidence.

As he walked through the hall, he passed Markus, who gave him a cold sneer behind his sunglasses.

“The proverbial shepherd finally arrives to tend to his lamb,” Markus said, not pausing in his stride—a passing comment that sent a chill down Heath’s spine.

“What did you say?” Heath called, but Markus had rounded the corner and was gone.

Shepherd? Lamb?

Markus talked like a madman sometimes, but Heath wasn’t stupid- he could guess what that meant, but what…

Oh no, oh no no no…

He rushed down the hall, towards the empty room he’d known had been prepared for the new embrace, likely given to the unsanctioned addition to the clan. He could feel it without even opening the door, that presence, the draw- he’d never sired another vampire before, never even wished to do that to a living person, but he could feel it, on the other side of the door.

He could hear soft sniffles on the other side, ceasing when he’d knocked on its wooden surface.

Shit, he hadn’t even thought of what to say-

The door opened, greeting him to the soft, angelic sight of the woman he’d met at the club, her skin and eyes glowing. A little fang poked out behind her lips when she offered a nervous greeting, inquisitive eyes glancing up at him.

For a moment, he saw it—the flash of recognition, and he could feel guilt sinking into his stomach, before her eyes softened.

“Ah… my… apologies,” he finally got out, “I’d… completely forgotten what I was going to say as soon as you opened the door.”

“Th- that’s okay,” she replied, that same soft, delicate voice he remembered drifting through his consciousness before. The soul that was so similar to his—the light he’d snuffed out himself.

“I’d heard what happened, and I… came to offer my sympathies. Would you be open hosting to a guest?” He asked, trying not to sound too guilty- she didn’t recognize him, yet. Surely she could feel it, the draw, the wish to settle under his wing.

A sire… he’d had one, of course, they all did, but he could hardly remember her, his mother…

“Please do,” the young woman replied, opening the door to let him in, closing it behind him. “Make yourself comfortable...”

Heath took a seat on the chair by the window, as she perched at the edge of the bed, peering at him curiously.

He could see it in her gaze- she was trying to figure out who he was, why she felt the way she did as she looked at him.

“My name is Heath, I- I really must give my condolences, again. Being embraced so suddenly… it’s harrowing,” he said, rubbing his fingers down the side of his face. Whatever flirting mask he’d typically try to hold up crumbled at the sight of her red-ringed eyes, the clear sign that she’d been crying right before he walked inside. “And rarely are the kindred around us very… understanding, about that. Being ripped from your old life… you must be angry, or scared..?”

It was a cheap tactic, removing himself from the equation to fish out how she feels about this- while he’d never consider this accidental embrace a good thing, perhaps he could get some peace of mind, if she’s one of the stronger types, the kind who, unlike him, thrived under these adverse conditions.

Instead of the look of determination he was hoping to see, despair crossed her features, as tears misted over her silver eyes, her bottom lip wobbling with barely-contained tears.

“I- I am scared,” she mumbled in a quiet voice, arms wrapping around herself, rubbing her bare arms as if she could feel a chill in the room. “I- I don’t want to be a part of a war, or politics, and- and I can’t talk to my family anymore, and I can’t go to any more auditions, and I’m so hungry b-but I can’t… even think about…” she trailed off, wiping her tears with a small, shaking hand.

Heath felt the space in his chest ache, self loathing creeping up in his throat like bile as he watched her, before gently reaching out with a tissue. He wanted to run, his muscles tense, waiting for the moment that she would put 2 and 2 together and realize that the source of her misery was sitting in front of her, but she never did. She only delicately accepted the tissue, wiping at her face with a quiet sob.

How could he stay, when she was ruined because of him? She was young- barely twenty years old with her life ripped away from her, just as he had been.

But God, how could he run, when she needed him? Her sire?

It’d make him no better than his own sire—but now, perhaps, some part of him understood now why many sires didn’t stick around. To witness the blossoming pain, and despair, grown from the seeds he’d sown…

“It’s… it’ll get better,” he murmured—he couldn’t bring himself to say it’s okay when clearly it was not. Gently, he patted her shoulder, drawing closer as he offered what little comfort he could bring himself to provide.

His first lesson as a sire was coming at him fast, and he wasn’t sure what to do- bring her a blood bag and tell her to suck it up and drink, or let her waste away into a frenzy, to keep her inside of her comfort zone?

Drawing back, he grabbed a crystal glass and a bag of blood from the fridge, opening the pouch and pouring it into the glass. He saw her head snap up as soon as he’d opened the bag—the smell likely activating the beast that fought for control inside of her undead body.

Walking back over, he offered the glass with a sympathetic gaze as she hesitated, despite how strong the hunger must have been by now.

“I can’t really help with… much else, besides this. It makes it easier to stomach, while you get used to exactly what it is that you’re drinking,” Heath offered, pressing the glass into her hands.

Coella looked up at him like he offered her salvation, not just a glass full of lukewarm blood, and the glowing gaze of his childe made him… shrink away. Her gaze was earnest, desperate, and sad—is that how he’d looked, looking up at his mother, that day?

Gratefully, the fledgling took the glass, hesitating with a tearful gaze before she tipped it towards her lips, Heath’s eyes heavy on her as she took her first drink as a damned creature, officially… sealing her fate, her existence.

Once she finished, she’d calmed down considerably, licking away the last dredges of the viscous liquid from her, now reddened, lips. She toyed with the empty glass, casting her gaze down on it. Now that she wasn’t raging with as many emotions, or hunger, he could sense a nervousness in her motions, the way she’d glance at him and back down at the glass.

“Feel better, now?” he offered, head tilting to look down at her, to try to catch her gaze.

Coella nodded, swallowing thickly. “Sorry for… um, e-exploding.”

Heath shook his head, gently taking the glass from her hands- to force her to shift her attention back on him, for as much as her gaze scared him, some selfish part of him only wanted her to look at him.

“I understand, I… it hasn’t been too long since my own embrace, so… it gets easier to deal with, or to forget. The sun, the human joys of life, sharing space with others… for having our clans, vampires are still such solitary creatures,” Heath said, sadness creeping into his tone as he ran his fingers through his feathery hair, looking down at her. He offered a soft smile, which seemed to lift some of the despair from her own gaze. “I’d love to offer my company, though, should you wish for it. I run a small bar…”

Giving the information that he’d wanted to, after that, he departed, being left with a promise for her to stop by. As soon as he stepped outside of the door, his shoulders sank and he pulled out a cigarette, brow creasing.

Just what had he done…?

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#my writing #Red Embrace Hollywood #red embrace heath #re:h #red embrace markus #ive never posted a chapter to tumblr like this but imma try it out n see how it goes?#lemme know if you read this and want more??

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