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dreamylittlesugarcube · 1 year

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Flames of Attraction

Genre: EXO AU

Characters: Kyungsoo x Female Reader

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, mentions of “the deed” but nothing graphic

Word Count: 9.3k

Summary: Who’s the boss? You are! Or at least, you had been until he showed up. For the past month, you’d busted your sous-chef butt to keep the hotel restaurant afloat after the head chef abruptly up and quit. Now, the manager’s brought in a friend, celebrity chef Do Kyungsoo, to lead the kitchen. With Kyungsoo wanting to run things his way, will tensions flame into something more?

A/N: Oh my gosh, I finally finished! This is my longest fic to date, as part of the Crimson Aurora Hotel and Spa Collab. Buckle up for ~10k, folks! ! hope you enjoy it! Please re-blog so that others can find and interact with this post easier. Thanks a million!

P.S. I’m planning to write some filthy epilogues for anyone interested!

P.S. GIFS and pictures do not belong to me, so credit should go to the original owners. (theonly-vagina-kyungsoo-will-fuk

~*~

“Feeling a little tense today, boss?”

You glanced up briefly from your pork cutlets to find Hyun-min staring at you, elbows on the counter in a manner you’d told him you don’t enjoy. As the chef de partie in charge of the meat station, a classmate from culinary school, and a long-time friend, he was entirely too perceptive for your liking. This quality was exceptionally beneficial in the workplace, but not so much when you were trying to squash your anger in the name of professionalism.

“No, what makes you think that?” you responded, lying through your teeth.

Hyun-min flashed you a cheshire cat grin, feigning nonchalance. “Oh, I don’t know…maybe because our new boss shows up tomorrow? THE WORLD FAMOUS CELEBRITY CHEF DO KYUNGSOO?!”

“Who’s side are you on anyway?” you mumbled as Hyun-min squealed in excitement.

“Yours, of course. But I can’t help it. The man’s a legend–helming a three-starred Michelin restaurant when he was under the age of 25 and he’s model-hot?!”

He fanned himself dramatically with a copy of tonight’s menu.

No one needed to tell you how talented Do Kyungsoo was. His accomplishments spoke for themselves–the book deals, the television shows, the James Beard awards, and yes–the coveted Michelin stars. You'd watched him on TV before and couldn’t deny that he’s good–okay, amazingly good, with a great knack for flavor. He’s been listed in more than one “30 Under 30” article. Was it fair to be blessed with that level of both talent and looks?! Furthermore, you wondered why someone like him, who’s been the executive chef of many, many famous restaurants would come here. Perhaps, Manager Kim had more connections than you knew.

It’s been several months since Head Chef Maurice abruptly departed. Many chefs have been interested in replacing him, but Manager Kim wasn’t satisfied with any of them, which left you, the sous-chef, to fill in the gaps.

Rather than sticking to one type of cuisine, you introduced fusion dishes, which have been very well-received. You were happy, guests were happy, and Mr. Kim seemed happy…so happy that you thought he might give you the promotion you always dreamed of. After five years of toiling away at this restaurant you’d thought maybe, just maybe this was your time. You felt blindsided at the news of Do Kyungsoo’s arrival not even two days ago, which left you with no time to process anything beyond anger.

“I’m fine,” you said tightly, grabbing your meat hammer. “Absolutely.” Pound. “100%.” Pound. “Totally.” Pound. “Fine.” Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound.

“Uh-huh, sure,” Hyun-min sayid, narrowing his eyes in obvious doubt. “You can lie all you want, honey…but don’t take it out on my poor, innocent pork cutlets. They’re supposed to be thinly pressed, not hacked to pieces!”

He quickly grabbed the tray of meat and moved it protectively out of the way, like you were a wild animal he couldn’t trust not to strike once his back was turned.

You flushed in embarrassment at your lack of composure, still incredibly on edge. Since you weren’t allowed to mete out your frustrations on the schnitzel, you’d need to seek out other avenues. Fortunately, your friend at the front desk was only too happy to help, and before you knew it, you were face down on a massage table, tension draining from your limbs under the masterful hands of the Crimson Aurora’s best masseuse.

~*~

Not 20 minutes into your lavender-induced stupor, a knock sounded at the door. Jongin told you to wait and slipped out the door, returning to quietly inform you that a certain Do Kyungsoo had arrived and “required your immediate attention.”

As you dressed, you could feel your stomach twisting into knots as you made your way to the kitchen. Standing outside the kitchen doors, the absence of clanging pans, furious chopping, and loud, boisterous voices was your first clue that something was amiss. Through the window, you could see the kitchen staff positioned in a line, as though awaiting military inspection from their commanding officer. Do Kyungsoo stood in front of them, looking every bit the formidable chef he was rumored to be in his immaculate black chef’s coat.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the door open, crossing the threshold that usually felt so familiar, yet was now completely alien. You put on your best “welcome” smile and stepped into the lion’s den. The noise from the squeaky doors drew the man’s attention and he turned to look at you.

Coming forward, you bowed in greeting. “Hello, my name is ____. I’m the sous-chef here. My apologies for being late, I was just informed of your arrival.”

Kyungsoo sized you up from head to toe, noting your messy hair, untucked shirt, and overall lack of polish. Not what he’d expect from his supposed second-in-command. What type of serious chef got a massage during the work day? If he were any of his former employers, you’d be given your notice immediately. The restaurant world was an unforgiving place, but Kyungsoo knew the dangers of being too quick to judge, so your skills in the kitchen had better impress.

You shuffled past Chef Do to stand beside Hyun-min, painfully aware that the former probably definitely knew exactly where you were. You might not be happy that he was here, but you’d never want your professionalism to be questioned over such a matter. Tonight he wanted to observe and see how the kitchen works and this dinner was your chance to wow him, to prove to Chef Do that you knew what you were doing. You’d worked your butt off covering for Chef Maurice and done a good job, goddammit!

With renewed vigor, you threw yourself into preparing tonight’s special, your team working hard alongside you to pull out the stops, all while under Chef Do’s watchful eye. It was unnerving to feel his gaze on you, judging your every move during prep work–choice of ingredients, knife work, organization–and you could tell everyone else in the room was feeling the same tension. If Hyun-min was an open book, then this man was the definition of a book wrapped in chains with a lock and key, his expression never changing, making it frustratingly impossible to know his thoughts.

Kyungsoo circled the kitchen, observing each and every moving part, noting both what he liked and things that needed to change. People had always told Kyungsoo that he was hard to read. His agent was always telling him he needed to “emote” better and give more fan service to the camera when he was filming shows. Kyungsoo disagreed–it wasn’t that he hid his emotions, he just didn’t see the point in pretending to be something he wasn’t.

Cooking was serious business–raw and real, both chaotic and orderly at the same time.

During filming for his various television shows, he missed the sights and sounds of the organized chaos around him–orders coming left and right, a flurry of quick hands pushing dishes through the window, and the joyful calm of the knife in his hand as he rhythmically chopped vegetables.

By the time the first ticket came through, you and your team were in the groove and you were forever thankful for muscle memory. The donkkaseu was perfect–golden and crunchy from the panko crumbs and slightly spicy from the red pepper flakes. It went down on a brioche bun, topped with kimchi coleslaw, and accompanied by a creamy gamja salad. Running a clean cloth around the edge of the plate, you rang the bell, literally sending your heart and soul out of the kitchen on a platter.

Ashley, longtime waitress and confidant, gave you a thumbs up through the window and you breathed a sigh of relief. Throughout the night, customer reactions were generally positive and you fielded the odd complaint of “the fish is dry” or “I asked for the steak medium” with ease.

10:00 came and went and the kitchen closed down to its nighttime snack menu, serving a selection of Korean favorites like pajeon, tteokbokki, stir-fried squid, and cheese corn to be paired with a menu of creative cocktails. This brainchild of your’s and Taemin’s, the hotel bartender, had worked to draw in guests coming back from shows and concerts and attracted pedestrians from the outside looking for an elevated bar experience.

An hour later, the kitchen was clean and the prep for tomorrow was done. You thanked the team for their hard work and sent them home, with you and Hyun-min remaining to fulfill the last-minute orders. You could see Chef Do in his office through the open door, scribbling furiously, no doubt making sure to take down every little mistake made during tonight’s service. You cringed, knowing there would be a debrief sooner rather than later, but pledged to defend yourself and your team, should the need arise. Everything ran smoothly tonight and you were proud of the job you’d done, though not immune to the fact that there was always room for improvement.

Hyun-min rang the bell and Ashley came to retrieve an order, a secretive smile on her face, which could mean only one thing: gossip.

“Am I going to have to ask or are you just going to tell me?” you asked, giving her a pointed look before handing over the plate of cheesy rice cakes.

“Fine, twist my arm if you must.”

Ashley beckoned you and Hyun-min over and leaned in close, as though she was about to divulge top-secret information.

“Chanyeol’s getting lucky tonight…sent a drink to a girl and now he’s laying on the moves.”

“Hot piano guy?” you clarified, watching as Hyunmin hung his head and groaned. “Sorry, Hyun-min, I guess that ship has sunk.”

“Why are all the available men in this place taken?” he whined. “First hot, ice king Sehun, now tall drink of water, Chanyeol?!”

You patted his arm in sympathy and silent agreement. Despite the fact that the Crimson Aurora Hotel seemed to employ a mysterious amount of above-average looking men, neither of you had been able to make a love connection.

That might be for the best, you mused.

You worked long hours and not everyone was understanding about the amount of time and effort it took to do what you do. Your last boyfriend had complained that you worked too much, were too focused on the restaurant and not enough on him or your relationship. In hindsight, he’d been right–you had put the job first–but honestly, he hadn’t supported you in the way you needed–always making comments about you needing to “get a real job” like his. You wanted and deserved someone who not only believed in you, but understood your drive and passion for creation and innovation.

Ashley grabbed the plate from the pass and turned on her heels, throwing an “I’ll keep you updated” over her shoulder.

With the last order of the night complete, you closed down the kitchen, hanging up your apron on the hook before turning off the lights. The glow from the office drew your eye, but the now-closed door dissuaded you from further investigation. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you pushed through the kitchen doors and made your way to the place your night usually ended: the bar.

You slid onto a bar top stool, feeling relaxed for the first time today. The red bubble pendant lights, reminiscent of magma, cast a crimson glow over the space. At this hour, the place was mostly deserted, save a lone businessman in one of the alcoves. Seeing no sign of Chanyeol, you assumed he’d retired for the evening with his new lady friend.

Without asking, Taemin placed your drink of choice in front of you and you took a sip, enjoying the burst of fruity flavor on your tongue. He left you to your thoughts, but not before leaving you a bowl of spiced nuts and prawn crackers to snack on. You closed your eyes, letting the jazzy music wash over you, appreciating this time to decompress.

“May I join you?”

The request, accompanied by a gentle tap on the shoulder startled you practically out of your chair. Chef Do stood before you, dressed in jeans and a simple black t-shirt, looking remarkably less intimidating than just an hour previous. Considering the two of you hadn’t started off on the right foot, you couldn’t imagine what he wanted to talk about.

When you gave a hesitant nod, Kyungsoo took a seat next to you. Mindful of first impressions and the work he had to do tomorrow, he asked for water when the bartender came to take his order. You were quiet next to him, so he tried to break the ice.

“Service went well today…You did well today, _____.”

You froze mid-swallow, sputtering as liquid went down the wrong way.

“Was that the wrong thing to say?” he wondered.

“No,” you confirmed, trying to keep your tone as even as possible. “Just not what I was expecting.”

Kyungsoo managed to stifle a smile.“What were you expecting then?”

What had you been expecting?

A jerk who thought he walked on air, someone who ordered others around without deigning to lend a hand, that’s what. It would be easier to hate someone like that, easier to let your anger simmer under the surface. Honestly, you weren’t sure what to do with the person who was currently in front of you. You munched on the prawn cracker, grateful for the crunch, crunch that filled the silence.

Kyungsoo lifted a brow at your obvious avoidance of the question. He chose to artfully change the topic. Eyeing up the prawn crackers, he asked you to share, taking a second to lift it to his nose and inspect the outside before putting it in his mouth.

“Even fry, consistent cuts, crisp texture. Where do you source these from? They remind me of the ones my grandmother used to make.”

“Actually, all the bar snacks are made in-house,” you informed him, pride filling you as you spoke.

You explained that you’d been trialing the homemade snacks and late-night bar menu in hopes of attracting new customers, ones who appreciated quality food and alcohol.

“Not what you were expecting?” you responded cheekily.

“Not exactly,” he returned, smiling genuinely at your response.

“And the response has been good?” he asked, a hint of skepticism as he peered around the now-deserted room.

You grinned behind your hand. “There’s a concert venue down that street that should be getting out in about–”, you checked your watch, “–fifteen minutes. This place’ll be packed soon with people looking to wind down from their music high. I usually try to be out of here by then, but you’re welcome to stick around and see the chaos for yourself.”

You downed the rest of your drink and pulled cash from your wallet, which Taemin warded away with a firm shake of his head and an “on the house”. You bowed your head in appreciation and stuck a couple bills into the tip jar.

“Just friends trying to support friends,” you said, smiling sweetly at Taemin’s look of censure.

You looked over to see that Chef Do had finished his water and put his coat on. You bid each other goodnight and then you were off to the subway station, ready to get home to your apartment, take a well-deserved shower and watch some mindless TV.

Sitting at home, wrapped up in a blanket, you flipped through TV channels searching for something to watch, not that there was anything decent to watch this late anyway. You turned to a cooking channel that was your usual standby and came face-to-face once again, with your new boss, but this time he was whipping someone’s butt in a battle for the best beef bourguignon. He won, of course, but on these types of shows it seemed like he always did.

You thought back to your day, which to your surprise, wasn’t as bad as you imagined it might be. This morning you’d been angry–angry that Chef Do was coming, angry with Manager Kim for not giving you a promotion, and in all honesty, angry with yourself for not being good enough yet.

Now, those emotions felt flimsy and fragile, slipping through your fingers like air, and as much as you tried to hold on, away they went. Resentment might remain, sure, but a burgeoning respect had started to well inside you, one that recognized talent for talent and appreciated a dry sense of humor…and something else too, that you don’t want to name just yet. With that in mind, you clicked the television off, tuning the man out of your living room and out of your life–at least until tomorrow.

~*~

Morning came and Kyungsoo felt hungover, despite having nothing but water at the bar last night. He knew it would be a long day at the restaurant, so he filled up on some breakfast and plain coffee. His phone rang and he saw his agent’s number flashing on the screen. He was tempted to ignore the call, but knew she’d just keep calling back if he didn't pick up.

“How’s my rockstar chef today?” his agent, Nina, drawled in her Texas accent.

“Fine, Nina, just–”

“Perfect,” she interrupted. “Listen babe, I know this whole “head chef” thing wasn’t exactly your first choice, but Kim Junmyeon is a good friend and I owed him a favor. Think of it like a little mini-vacation.”

It was obvious that Nina had never worked in the kitchen because no one, no one who’d ever worked in a restaurant kitchen would refer to it as a “vacation”.

“Listen sugar, I’m working on lining up another show for you. The network is thrilled with ratings for your last series and they’re clamoring for more.”

“But Nina, I don’t want to–”

“Yeah, you don’t want to stay at the hotel for too long. I know, I know. Nina will get you out of there soon, don’t you worry.”

“That’s not what I was going to–”

“Listen, Kyungsoo, my Starbucks is here so I’ve got to run. Mwah!”

Kyungsoo didn’t even have time to say anything before she was gone. He wasn’t surprised–Nina ran a mile a minute and he was absolutely certain the woman was made up of 90% caffeine. She’d been his agent for years, since the beginning, when he’d been a simple link cook with a dream.

It would be fair to say he never expected things to go this far–the crowds, the book deals, the shows, the fame–everything. All he ever wanted was to share his cooking with the world, maybe even own his own farm-to-table restaurant, so truth be told, he was excited at the prospect of settling down for a little while and making his mark on the Ink & Pepper.

When he’d been approached about the opportunity six months ago, the Ink & Pepper had seemed like a restaurant with uninspired food and little direction, and needing some massive changes. He’d come prepared to wipe the slate clean of anything or anyone weighing down the place–employees, concepts, menus, whatever it took. Upon arrival, he’d been shocked to find the kitchen in pretty decent working order. Provisions were well-organized, stations were clean, and the staff worked cohesively.

Not at all what he expected.

He knew it came down to you, the sous-chef masquerading as the one in charge. The sous-chef who got massages during the work day. He hadn’t thought much of you when you walked in looking like you’d just woken up from a three-hour nap; however, you’d quickly proved him wrong–executing and expediting dishes flawlessly.

From the beginning, it was obvious you were used to being top dog and he wondered how you’d take to following his orders. He smiled, fondly thinking of the days he himself had been filled with bright ideas and loads of sass-not so different from you.

With a little time left before he had to be at the restaurant, he took his two puppies out for a walk before dropping them off at daycare. Leaving his car behind, Kyungsoo strolled through the neighborhood, making note of the small, tucked-away restaurants that he wanted to try (and maybe own) someday.

He was stopped by several older ladies who asked for his autograph and was happy to oblige. Two signed napkins and many selfies later, he was zooming through the streets on his way to the Crimson Aurora.

The kitchen was in full swing by the time he walked through the doors and he was greeted by the sound of clanging pots, sizzling pans, and steam, which halted to a whisper. Gazes followed him as he walked to his office and stowed his things. He called the team together and went over his notes from the previous evening. Once he made it clear that he wasn’t firing anybody, the staff visibly relaxed…well maybe except you.

You frowned several times while he was talking, most notably when he mentioned that menus would solely focus on classic, French cuisine. Interesting. You must prefer a different style of food, and he made a note to ask you about that later. You also cringed when he critiqued the cook on the lamb chops from last night. Not debatable, in his opinion, it was medium or bust.

After he finished, he pulled several staff members to go over the grocery order for next week, when his menu went into effect. He had relationships with some of the top vendors in the city and he wanted to make sure the restaurant had access to the best ingredients possible. He hadn’t had time to go over the new menu with you, but he was excited to roll it out next week.

The day flew by–diners came and went, food left the kitchen and empty plates came back–and soon the moon was high in the sky. The kitchen lights dimmed, and from his office he could see the staff heading out for the night, leaving you and Hyun-min behind to finish up.

The spicy, sweet smell of tteokbokki filled his nose, making his mouth water. He remembered the tteokbokki his mother used to make him growing up, with plenty of fish cakes and sliced eggs.

During culinary school at Le Cordon Bleu, he lived in Paris, adopting the lifestyle and the cuisine. Fresh fruits and vegetables, cheeses, yogurt, meat, and fish–a delicious and nutritious diet, but very different from the food he ate growing up.

From his vantage point, he could hear bits and pieces of your conversation with Hyun-min–a bad experience on a blind date, the latest episode of The Bachelor, and Hyun-min’s cat giving him the cold shoulder. Kyungsoo didn’t have any use for idle gossip, so ended up tuning out most of it anyway, at least until he got a late-night call from New York. By the time he was done, the kitchen was deserted. Curious, made his way to the bar, and sure enough, there you were, sitting in your usual spot. Without thinking too hard, he slid into the seat next to you and ordered his new usual.

~*~

Three months later

“Just water will do tonight, Taemin.”

You knew who spoke without even having to look. Chef Do’s voice was distinct–deep and rich like melting chocolate, one that carried perfectly in a room (or kitchen). Water again tonight, it seemed. It made sense, Chef Do–Kyungsoo, as he’d told you to call him off-the-clock, seemed like a water kind of guy.

“Do you drink anything else besides water?”

“Do you drink anything besides passion fruit cocktails, ___?” Kyungsoo shot back playfully, sliding into the seat next to you.

“I’ll have you know these are passion fruit mocktails, Kyungsoo. In my old-age, I can’t handle alcohol on a weekday like I could in my youth.”

You were over-exaggerating a little bit, considering you weren’t even 30, but bouncing back seemed harder these days, especially when you had the responsibility of being up for work just hours later.

Looking over at Kyungsoo, you lifted an eyebrow. “What’s your excuse?”

Kyungsoo shrugged. “I just drink water, nothing else. It’s very…hydrating.”

He winced, clearly aware of how obvious that answer was.

You nodded awkwardly before reaching into your bag and pulling out a glass container. You’d learned that Kyungsoo was a sucker for snack foods, so this ought to do the trick. Oddly enough, this had kind of become your nightly routine for the past few months: cook your butt off all day and hole up at the bar with your boss at night. Hyun-min had joined you a couple of times, but dubbed it “boring” since it didn’t involve soju, spandex, and getting down at the club.

“You want some kimbap? Nothing fancy, just some beef rolls and a couple of tuna.”

You handed over the container for Kyungsoo’s inspection. Someone once said “you eat with your eyes first”, and you found that was especially true for chefs. Your kimbaps looked pretty good, the veggies were cut consistently, the egg was yellow and soft, and the roll was tight. Not as good as your mom’s, but decent.

Kyungsoo cautiously took one and popped it in his mouth. You offered him more and the two of you ate in silence.

Kyungsoo chewed thoughtfully before asking: “When do you have time to make these things? The rice seems really fresh, so obviously these weren’t made yesterday.”

“We usually keep some ingredients on-hand for staff in case they get hungry. I make them right before we leave…you’re usually on the phone when I do.”

Kyungsoo let out a big sigh, massaging his temples.

“It’s my agent, Nina. She lives in New York, so there’s a bit of a time difference.”

“How do you do it all?” you wondered aloud. “Balance running a restaurant and a television career at the same time?”

Kyungsoo chuckled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

“Truth is, I don’t. It’s always one or the other. If I’m filming a show, I’m gone from work for weeks or months at a time. My agent is always pushing me to do more shows and appearances, but if I do, it takes me away from being in the kitchen. Even now she’s pushing me to judge some big competition show in Europe.”

It was surprising to hear this from him. He seemed like such a natural on television, born to be on screen. You would have never guessed he felt any other way, but here he was, wanting the simple basics of cheffing.

“...but you’ve worked at some of the best restaurants in the world…all those Michelin stars…”

“But are they truly mine?” he mused. “Someone else’s vision…someone else’s kitchen…not mine…”

Getting a Michelin star always seemed like a pipe dream, so much so you never gave them more than a passing thought. But pondering it now, you realized he was right: Michelin stars were given out to restaurants with outstanding cooking, in terms of ingredients, flavor, technique and consistency over time. While the chef might be the vehicle to gaining those stars, the stars stayed, even if the chef moved on to other places.

“Well, technically this place is yours now, right?” you said, trying to lighten the mood.

Kyungsoo smiled softly. “Yeah…I guess you’re right. A place of my own to finally do as I wish….”

Though you’d slowly come to accept the reality of working under Kyungsoo, your chest still tightened at his words. A place of my own.

“...and what about you?” he continued. “You must have a dream too.”

When you sheepishly admitted to having a similar dream, understanding lit his eyes.

“Ah, so that’s why you’ve been so morose about the menus lately.”

“I have not been morose”, you grumbled as Kyungsoo shot you a look of mock disbelief. “I haven’t! Disappointed is the word I would use.”

Kyungsoo scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Have you ever thought about working somewhere else? There’s got to be hundreds of places that would see the value in your skills.”

“I mean, sure, I’ve thought about it here and there, but the Ink & Pepper was the place I first got my start and the people there are like family. I’m not sure I could leave. It just feels right, you know?”

Kyungsoo nodded in understanding, at the same time knowing opportunities would be more ripe if you looked beyond the small boutique hotel restaurant. Plenty of talented chefs never made it further than being someone else’s underling and he didn’t want that to happen to you. Kyungsoo knew many of the top people in the industry and if he put a word in with the right people, maybe you’d…

Taemin chose that moment to interrupt, saying the bar was closing, and checking your watch, you realized you and Kyungsoo had never stayed this late before. You meandered down the sidewalk, silently making your way towards the bus stop, together but alone in your thoughts. Kyungsoo dropped you off at your stop and you watched his back as he slowly walked away.

“Are you going to do it?”

You were loud enough that Kyungsoo turned back, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“The show, I mean. Are you going to do it?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes filled with understanding, as he came to a stop a few feet from you.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Why? Just waiting for me to go so you can take back your crown?”

“Hardly.” you huffed, scowling at the mischief you saw in his eyes.

“Then you’ll miss me?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

You rolled your eyes. “Again, hardly.”

He stepped closer. “That’s a shame, because I’d miss you, ___”, he said quietly.

You turned towards him, ready to deliver another biting comeback, when you saw he was serious.

“You what?”

“You heard me. I said I’d miss you.”

Dazed, you sucked in a breath, trying to process what you just heard. It was quiet around you, and you realized Kyungsoo was waiting for you to speak. Words needed to be formulated into sentences, but unfortunately your brain was jumbled up like a plate of scrambled eggs.

Kyungsoo stepped closer, and all you could see were his eyes, jet-black against the night sky. He lifted his hand to your face, running his thumb across your cheek in a gentle caress. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out, as though your brain was unable to process anything but the ripples of electricity running through your body and the warmth of his skin against yours in the cool night air.

In your peripheral, you heard the squeal of the bus as it angled into your stop. The doors hummed as they opened and several people got off, no doubt ready to hit the town. You needed to get on that bus, but to do that, you’d have to break away.

Kyungsoo reached up to clasp your face with both hands, drawing your gaze back to him, no doubt sensing your imminent withdrawal.

“I have my car here, ____.” Kyungsoo murmured, his deep voice making you feel tingly. “Let me take you home.”

With the bus driver looking your way, you only had a few seconds to make a choice. You knew what you should do–get on the bus and go home to your apartment alone–but here you were, contemplating being alone with a man–your boss you might add! — a man you’d never thought about in a romantic way until now…

Are you sure? a voice inside you countered. You’ve never thought of him in any other way? Never fantasized about him caging you against the door of the walk-in? Not once imagined what was under the tight, black chef’s coat he wears everyday?

You sucked in a breath as your brain acknowledged what your heart had known for a while now. Kyungsoo occupied your thoughts during the day (and night) more than you’d like to admit, and before you could remind yourself this was a bad idea, you found yourself blushing and nodding.

You took the arm he offered, and soon you were cruising through the city street. Leaning back against the expensive leather seats, you could feel a deep tiredness settle into your bones. You fought to stay awake, but as the car’s warmth drifted over you and soft jazz filled your ears, you were soon lulled into dreamland, as Kyungsoo’s car sped towards your destination.

~*~

Kyungsoo eased to a stop in front of your apartment, happy you had agreed to let him take you home. This was too far from the hotel for you to travel alone. He’d definitely be dropping you off on a regular basis, now that he knew. Not only would it satisfy his concern for your safety, but selfishly, it would also fill his need for you.

Looking over, he smiled to see you dozing next to him. Turned towards him in sleep, he admired your features in the soft glow of the streetlights. It was so different to see this side of you, so relaxed and serene–a stark contrast to the fast-paced, tenacious dynamite you were in the kitchen.

You murmured in your sleep and his gaze was drawn to your lips and he wondered what they felt like. His hand hovered inches over lips and he longed to run his thumb across your cupid’s bow.

His plan was foiled by the blare of a car alarm two blocks down, causing you to startle awake.

“Kyungsoo! How long have we been sitting here? Why didn’t you wake me?” you admonished, playfully swatting him on the shoulder.

Truthfully, he’d enjoyed watching you sleep, just being near you was enough to make his heart flutter. But as usual, Kyungsoo played things closer to the vest, not wanting you to know how much you affected him.

“Should I have carried you up the stairs then, like a gallant knight aiding a fair lady?”

You made a retching sound in your throat. “No, absolutely not. Besides–” you say, your gaze flickering up and down his body, “I have doubts that you’d even be able to get me to the door.”

Kyungsoo knew it was a joke, but it didn’t stop him from bristling at your words.

“Ah, that’s where you’d be wrong, ____. You see I lift.”

You quirked a brow in his direction, amusement sparkling in your eyes. “Yeah, lift pans, maybe.”

“Try me,” he challenged.

“Okay, you’re on. A piggyback ride all the way up to my apartment. Oh and did I mention I live on the 4th floor?” you added, bursting with glee.

Looking out the window at your tall apartment building, Kyungsoo found himself regretting his rash words just a bit. He did go to the gym, he hadn’t been lying about that, it was a necessity in his line of work to keep his stamina up. However, he’d never carried an adult human more than a couple of yards at any given time. Puffing up his chest, he knew he’d make it even if it killed him, he had a lady to impress, afterall.

When Kyungsoo bent down and ushered you on, you hesitantly stepped forward to get into position, sliding your arms around his neck. Up close, the pleasing scent of forest teased your senses and you had to stop yourself from pressing your face into his neck and inhaling the musky scent.

Kyungsoo lifted you with surprising ease, wasting no time before starting the long ascent up the winding staircase. As he climbed and climbed, Kyungsoo’s breathing quickened and you could tell he was getting winded. His palms were scalding through your pants and you could feel the warmth of him seeping into your skin. When you finally reached your apartment door, Kyungsoo sounded like he was running a marathon.

“Alright. Here. We Are. I Win.” Kyungsoo said, taking a long breath between each word.

You held your hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay, I surrender. I was wrong.”

Being wrong had never, ever felt so right.

Kyungsoo gently set you back on your feet, before turning to face you.

“So what’s my prize?”

“Your what?”

“My prize, ____. You challenged me, I won, therefore it’s only fair to receive appropriate compensation.”

“And what’s your idea of ‘appropriate compensation’?”

You knew what you wanted him to say, what you wanted him to do. The moment at the bus stop had teased your senses, and now, all you could think about is what it would feel like to have his lips against yours, his strong arms pressing you tight against his body.

Kyungsoo detected the hint of flirtation in your voice and it chafed against his conscience. Up until now, he’d been able to keep up the light-hearted conversation, continue to play the game, both now and at work, while burning on the inside. The angel on his shoulder told him this was a bad idea, that no good could come from kissing an employee, but the devil on his other whispered about how good it would feel to finally have your lips against his own.

Before he knew it, his body made the choice for him, wanting satisfaction and tired of this constant state of denial. His arms shot out, encircling your waist and pulling you tight against his body. Your eyes widened, narrowing on his lips, and he took that as an invitation to seal his mouth against yours.

Sinking into Kyungsoo’s warmth, your hands wound around his neck to secure him closer. You sighed into his mouth, tilting your head to the side, squealing at the feel of his tongue teasing your lower lip. Your hands found their way into Kyungsoo’s silky hair, and you tugged him closer, groaning as he sucked your tongue between his lips. The sound of heavy breathing filled the quiet hallway and you wanted nothing more than for him to slide you up the wall and take you out of your misery.

Kyungsoo’s attention drifted to your neck, allowing you a moment of reprieve to catch your breath. Soft lips moved from your collarbone to just below your ear, alternating between gentle kisses and soft flicks of tongue. Kyungsoo paused to blow lightly on your skin, still wet from his previous care. You shivered at the sudden hot-cold sensation, clutching Kyungsoo’s head closer in a silent bid for more.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway and the sound of male voices drew closer. You knew those voices: Hyun-min and his posse on the way back from a wild night out.

Forced from your lust-induced haze, you regrettably tore away from Kyungsoo’s lips. Kyungsoo’s stark look of confusion quickly faded as he realized the situation you were about to be in. Shoving the key into the lock, you pushed open the door, pulling Kyungsoo inside in the nick of time.

As the voices outside faded, you breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing you needed was Hyun-min finding you pressed up against your boss as he sucked on your neck. Not because he’d object, but simply because he’d never let you live it down.

In the darkened apartment, it was quiet, save for the sounds of late-night traffic drifting through the window and Kyungsoo breathing beside you. Pins and needles ran up and down your spine, your entire body titillated by the sounds of Kyungsoo’s movements in the darkness. Wanting more.

Kyungsoo whispered your name. Yes or no? he silently asked.

When you didn’t respond, he slid his hand along the wall, fumbling for the lightswitch, as if that would bring the answers he sought.

You had only seconds to make a decision.

Yes or no?

A split second decision. You clapped your hand over his, preventing him from flipping the switch. In the darkness, the sweet spell remained, unbroken by obtrusive light. And in the dark, consequences be damned.

Reaching out, you grabbed Kyungsoo’s hand, softly tugging him further into your apartment.

~*~

Fuck. Chop. Fuck. Chop. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Chop. Chop. Chop.

Kyungsoo dropped the knife, running his fingers through his hair. Getting on the line usually helped clear his thoughts, but not today. No matter what he tried, his thoughts drifted back to you. It’d been dark when he woke in your bed, so dark his eyelids had practically begged for more sleep. It had been so tempting to wrap you tightly in his arms and remain.

But he had left.

It wasn’t his style to leave without a word, but he’d been unsure of where you stood. He felt regret with how things had ended–you deserved to wake to a frittata and fresh coffee in bed, not to cold sheets and an empty apartment.

The back of his neck heated in shame. He’d slept with an employee. This was basic work ethics 101–do not engage in sexual relations with staff members. Cocky it would never happen, he’d let his guard down around you. How could he–

“Something bothering you, Chef?” Hyun-min asked, startling Kyungsoo from his thoughts.

Kyungoo attempted nonchalance. “No. Why would you think that?”

“Maybe because you’re practically pulverizing the vegetables,” Hyun-min said gesturing knowingly to the cutting board. “Unless gazpacho is now on the menu?”

Kyungsoo looked down to see finely diced tomatoes, cucumbers, and onions, cut too small for the fresh salad he’d intended to make.

Hyun-min loaded the remaining vegetables on a tray, carting them away before any further damage could be done. “I swear, you and _____ have it out for my station,” he muttered as he walked away.

Cut off from his distraction, he was grateful for once when his phone rang.

“Hello, Nina,” he greeted, closing himself into his office for what would no doubt be a lengthy conversation.

“Hey, doll. How are ya?”

“Well, actually Nina–”

“Great, glad to hear it. Listen–Nina came through for you, love. You’re out.”

Kyungsoo frowned. “What do you mean, Nina?”

Nina sighed, talking slowly as if she were explaining it to a toddler. “I mean you’re out of that little restaurant, babe. The network called and the competition show in Europe is a ‘go’. They want you there in two days.”

Kyungsoo sucked in a breath, trying to digest what he’d just heard. Two days? Nowhere near enough time to tie up loose ends–both with the restaurant and with you.

“Two days, Nina? That’s–”

“I know, love. It’s an eternity, but what can I do? You have a flight to London tonight, so pack a bag and head to the airport. I’m sending the tickets to your email now.”

“Thank you, Nina, but I–”

“No problem, kiddo. Nina’s here for you. Oops, Bobby’s here, gotta run. Talk soon, mwah!”

Before he could get a word in edgewise, the call dropped and she was gone. Kyungsoo vowed to himself that he’d get a new agent when this was all over, someone who actually let him finish sentences once in a while. Or let him have a vacation. Do anything that wasn’t on a schedule.

By the time he’d packed up his office, the rest of the staff had filtered in, prepping for the long day ahead. A soft knock sounded at the door, drawing his attention. You slipped inside, shutting the door behind you, a look of determination on your face. You turned, walking to stand in front of him with your arms crossed.

“I have something I want to talk to you about, Chef Do.” you announced, the use of his formal title not lost on him.

He gestured for you to sit, but you remained firmly where you were.

“Why did you leave like that?” you whispered, voice low in the off chance anyone was listening outside. “You just left..no note..no text…no nothing. Did it not mean anything to you?”

Your voice cracked at the end, betraying the hurt you’d promised to keep hidden.

Kyungsoo sighed, running his hands over his face. “No, ____, of course not. But I’m your boss. I crossed a line last night–”

“We crossed a line last night,” you corrected, hurt turning into anger at the insinuation he’d somehow taken advantage of you. “I remember being very much in control last night, Kyungsoo.”

Watching the hurt blossom in your eyes, Kyungsoo wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms, assure you that last night had been special, a night he’d never forget.

His phone dinged and he looked down to see an email from his agent, with the tickets for his flight. He had a flight out of here to London tonight and the timing couldn’t have been worse.

Fuming with righteous indignation, you looked around Kyungsoo’s office, for the first time noting its emptiness. Where pages and pages of notes had dominated its walls, now stood bare. Stacks of cookbooks were packed neatly into brown boxes sitting on the floor. Your heart squeezed at the realization: he was leaving. But why? Surely it couldn’t be because of last night…

“So…that’s it? You’re leaving…just like that?” you said in disbelief. “Was it because of last night?”

Kyungsoo flinched, not liking the hurt in your voice. “No…no absolutely not. My agent called me this morning…the show is on, _____. They’re expecting me in London the day after tomorrow…I have a flight out tonight.”

A roaring noise filled your ears and a tightness filled your chest. What did you say to that? “Congratulations”? “Don’t go”? “What about us”? It all seemed lame in the moment. One thing was sure, however: you wouldn’t be that girl. The girl who simped over a celebrity one-night stand, who expected more when it was never anything beyond casual.

“Congratulations, Kyungsoo,” you said, a wistful smile on your face. “I’m sure it’ll be amazing.”

“____, about us, I–”

Your eyes started to feel hot. “No, Kyungsoo, don’t worry about it. I know we were just caught up in the moment last night.”

“But I really–”

You shook your head to keep the tears at bay, backing towards the door. “You don’t owe me any kind of explanation, Kyungsoo, I get it. Waking up alone was enough of a clue, so you don’t have to say anything else.”

“Wait–”

“Goodbye, Kyungsoo. I hope you get everything you wanted.”

You slipped quickly out of the office, not stopping at Kyungsoo’s continued protests. You didn’t want to hear what he had to say. No, it would gut you to hear you were just some hook-up. Better to avoid and save your heart the pain.

Your feet carried through the kitchen and out the door just as tears started to fall. The scent of starch and detergent fumes engulfed you as you fled to the laundry room, the best place at the Crimson Aurora for some good old-fashioned privacy. You stayed there, hidden, not brave enough to face him at the very end. The loud whir of the industrial laundry machines washed out the sound of your tears and then and there you vowed to cleanse your heart of him, like removing a stain from a white sheet.

~*~

Three months later.

It still felt weird. Sitting in the office, that is. Your new office. It almost didn’t seem real–so much so you had to pinch yourself to prove it wasn’t a dream. But there it was, written on a shiny, gold desk plate: _____ ________, Head Chef.

You looked out into the bustling kitchen, filled with activity as the staff–your staff–worked hard during dinner rush. Making your dishes. In your kitchen. You still couldn’t believe you were here. Thinking back to that day three months ago, you’d never have guessed what life could bring.

After hiding out in the laundry as long as humanly possible, you had trudged back to the land of the living, hoping to make it through dinner service so you could go home and have a good old-fashioned ice-cream cry.

Hyun-min had practically jumped on you when you walked through the kitchen doors, peppering you with questions. Where was Chef Do going? Why were you crying? So many questions it made your head spin. The phone had rung, and you’d been relieved, for once, to be summoned to Manager Kim’s office.

Being the amazing friend that he was, Hyun-min had insisted you celebrate after hearing the news. You’d gone out with the kitchen staff that night, dressed to the nines, but without your heart really in it. You felt conflicted–you finally had it, the dream job you always wanted, but it came at the expense of losing something–or someone.

Kyungsoo’s new television show had started airing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to watch, not willing to be tortured by what you couldn’t have. Luckily, your work kept you busy, at least during the day. It was nights that were harder. You couldn’t escape him, even in your own damn apartment. The stairs, the door, the bed–all reminders of that one unforgettable night before the rug was pulled out from under you.

A knock on the door disturbed your thoughts and you looked up to see Hyun-min hovering in the doorway, a peculiar expression on his face.

“Um, boss? There’s a customer out front who’d like to speak to you…something about overcooked lamb chops…”

“You offered to re-make it, I’m assuming?”

Hyun-min nodded. “Yeah, but they said they wanted to talk to you specifically.”

Telling him you’d be right there, you reluctantly got up from your chair and donned your starched, white chef’s coat. Dealing with a picky customer wasn’t out of the ordinary, but your threshold for dealing with complaints today was at an all-time low.

“Table 4”, Hyun-min called as you headed through the kitchen and out the doors into the dining room.

Walking through the busy dining room, you dodged waitstaff and waded through customers, fresh from a matinee musical performance. You approached Table 4 from behind, where a lone male figure was seated.

Taking a deep breath and pasting your “the customer is always right” smile on your face, you prayed a little sweet talking and a comped glass of wine would be enough to smooth this situation over.

“Excuse me–”

Dark brown eyes turned toward you, full lips that you were intimately familiar with parted into a smile.

Kyungsoo.

You rubbed your eyes, making sure you weren’t just seeing things, that he was really there. What was he doing here? It didn’t make sense. He’d blown into your life, set it on fire, then breezed out, never to be heard from again. In the three months he’d been gone, you hadn’t heard from him once.

“_____,” he breathed. “I heard you got the head chef job, so I came as soon as I got back from London. I missed you–”

Hearing his voice, your resolve wavered. You cleared your throat, striving to take control of the situation. You were a professional, the chef in charge now, and you wouldn’t let your feelings get the better of you, gosh darn it!

“Hello, sir, I heard from my kitchen staff that you were unhappy with a dish we prepared for you. May I ask what the issue is?”

Kyungsoo’s smile slipped from his face, as though he was surprised, almost disappointed at your reaction.

Kyungsoo leaned forward, making sure no one could hear him but you. “Can we talk…privately?”

As Kyungsoo led you into an empty office, he felt a hint of unease. He’d pictured your reunion much differently. In his imaginings, you were overjoyed at the surprise of seeing him, smiling widely before pulling him close for an embrace–the embrace he’d imagined everyday during those long, lonely weeks in Europe. He understood, but it stung all the same.

Once inside, he walked towards the window, stopping to look out into the bright moonlight, trying to gather his thoughts. You stayed a respectful distance away, looking wary, as though you were about to bolt out the door.

You waited for Kyungsoo to speak…and waited…but he only continued to look out the window. “Look, Kyungsoo, what is it? I’ve got to head back to work soon.”

Kyungsoo turned towards you, silhouetted in moonlight, his eyes dark as the sky behind him.

“I missed you,____. So much. Everyday.”

You snorted. “Sure, Kyungsoo. You missed me. So much so you called me all of zero times. Or did I just miss all those calls and texts you sent me?”

Kyungsoo shifted between his feet. “I know I messed up, _____. I shouldn’t have just left like that, you deserved better than that.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Kyungsoo. I did deserve better. You just left without any explanation.”

Kyungsoo started to speak, but you kept going.

“I’m not talking about leaving for Europe, Kyungsoo. I understood that part, you had an opportunity and took it. But that morning, you just left my apartment, no note, no explanation, nothing, after we–” you cut off, not wanting to say it aloud.

Crossing to you, Kyungsoo gripped your shoulders. “I’m sorry, _____. That morning, it killed me to leave. I wanted to make it so good for you, but I was scared.”

You watched as Kyungsoo worried his lower lip. “Scared of what?” you breathed.

“Us. What we did. I was your boss, ____. No matter how much I wanted you, I was disappointed in myself. Then, when I was in Europe, I wondered if you’d even want to hear from me. I was your boss and I took advantage of you, I worried you felt you had no choice–”

You put your pointer finger against his lips, cutting him off before he could finish what he was going to say.

“Kyungsoo, I appreciate the concern, but I’m not a baby. I chose to invite you in, I chose to let you kiss me. For god’s sake, we were stone cold sober, so it’s not like we can even blame the alcohol. You didn’t force me to do anything, okay?”

He nodded and you removed your finger from his lips.

“For what it’s worth, I thought you deserved a frittata. If I could do that night over, I’d have made you the most delicious breakfast you’d ever had and served it to you in bed.”

“Well…I guess next time, I’ll be holding you to that, then.”

Kyungsoo looked up, his mouth forming an “o”. “Next time?” he whispered.

“Yeah, next time,” you said, a small smile lighting up your face.

Kyungsoo slid his hands from your shoulders to cup your cheeks. “So…you forgive me?” he said, hopefully.

“Yeah, I forgive you. You made some dumb decisions, but hey, at least you’re still cute.”

Kyungsoo pinched your cheeks in revenge, immediately stroking the reddened skin to soothe the burn.

“So, what are you going to do now that you’re back?” you asked, turning serious again.

“I actually leased a restaurant just a few streets over,” he said sheepishly. “I finally did it, got my own place.”

“So…you were really here to check out the competition, eh?” you said, shooting him a grin. “What did you think?”

Moving his hands to your waist, Kyungsoo pulled you against him, your faces just inches apart.

“The lamb chops were a little overdone,” he said with a wink.

You scoffed. “Shut up, Kyungsoo. Don’t you have anything better to do with those lips? Like kissing me, perhaps?”

“Much better,” he said, joining your mouths together at last.

As your lips clashed, you soaked in the feeling of being in Kyungsoo’s arms again. You certainly hadn’t expected today to end this way. That Kyungso was here to stay was even more of a surprise, in a restaurant of his own not four blocks away. Once again, you were competitors, though this time on equal footing.

As they said, “keep your friends close and enemies closer,” and this enemy, you’d enjoy keeping very, very close.

~*~

Thank you so much for reading Flames of Attraction! I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, please re-blog for others to find! And please support the other amazing creators on the Crimson Aurora Hotel & Spa project. @myeoning-call @leewalberg @yourkeeperoftherunners @taem-min @ouvuo @dreamylittlesugarcube @jxstadaydreamer @xiubaek-13 @yourkeeperoftherunners @ninibears-erigom and @sojuri

XOXO,

Emmy

#kyungsoo exo #kyungsoo romance #kyungsoo x you #kyungsoo x reader #exo kyungsoo #kyungsoo fanfic #kyungsoo fanfics #kyungsoo x oc #do kyungsoo #kyungsoo story #exo d.o #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo #kyungsoo fanfiction

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yourkimjaejin · 1 year

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Saikai

(Here's a look at Juno and her relationship with her brother Natsuo. I hope you enjoy!! This post is conncected to my NCT AG at Mama post found here. p.s Saikai is Japanese for reunion. P.s.s. this gif of Mabel and Dipper is so precious)

Moxy was talking to Renjun, and subsequently Haechan (he refuses to be ignored) about the boys arrival in Japan when Juno waltzed in knocking Moxy’s phone to the floor and flopping onto her leader with a huge over exaggerated sigh

Luckily Moxy had a plush rug next to her bed. Thank you Jaehyun.

“Injunnie, I think I’ve got a situation over here. I’ll see you in a week.” The call ended to the sound of Haechan’s whining. Moxy hung up the phone, turning her attention to her best friend lying across her lap.

Moxy ran fingers through Juno’s hair, “Wanna tell me what’s up?”

Juno sighed again flopping onto her back, “My brother’s coming to see us at MAMA. Apparently he had business but he was given some days off.”

Fingers stilled for a moment before continuing their work. “You're not thrilled about this…I’m guessing.” Juno groaned in response.

“Natsuo’s not big on jobs in entertainment. He thinks it's a one in a million chance that someone can be successful. And I get it. He-he tried and it didn’t work out.”

Moxy sat up, surprised at Juno’s reveal. “Your brother was a singer?!” Juno shook her head, “No he was a children's model. Once he grew up no one really hired Natsuo anymore. After he ended his contract with his agent he focused on school. Became the star lawyer he is today.” Juno pursed her lips contemplating what to say. Both girls sat up, Juno moving to sit next to her leader resting against the headboard

“I love my brother but I also don't want to hear him harp on about getting back on the ice or studying for a career I don’t want to have.” The younger's eyes shifted to the bed following the finger tracing patterns across her leader's bedspread. “Sometimes it feels like he’s just waiting for me to fail.”

The other girl took a second to respond, approaching her advice carefully, “Maybe you should tell him how you feel. Especially if this has been going on a long time. It’s not fair of him to put his fears on you.”

“Yeah…..” Juno may have responded affirmatively but her brain was miles away.

The members of AG were riding high. After three years, AG finally won at MAMA.

Not that they weren’t thankful for the fan’s choice award every year, they’re always thankful for NCTzen’s support. It’s just that the fan’s choice award was about the fans. Sure, they cultivated that kind of support but it didn’t feel like fan’s choice was something they earned by their own merit.

But finally after three years, AG’s hard work paid off.

Best Dance Performance - Girl Group

It wasn’t Best Group - Girl Group but that didn’t matter, they’d get there eventually. Right here right now it was about Best Dance Performance. The girls and their management were all riding on a high. For Juno she felt everything was finally coming together. AG won Queendom, their first studio album was extremely successful (Their repackage was shaping out to be the same), now this. The houston native felt nothing could bring her down

“Juno-yah! You’re brothers here!” Except that.

At their manager noona’s words, the smile was wiped from her face. Juno’s members all turned to her all with different expressions. Moxy concerned, Hannah happy, Aurora questioning.

“Juno?”

“Why didn’t you tell us your brother was coming tonight?”

“Obviously cause she's not especially excited about it.”

Juno avoided answering any question by making her way to the door. The manager placed a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll be here if you need an out.” The assurance took some of the unease away only for it to come back tenfold seeing her brother leaning on the wall.

Now that she thinks about it, it's been years since she’s seen her brother. A part of the singer wants to run into her elders embrace and reacquaint herself with his unique scent of cedarwood and sage but something held her back. The inevitable. “When are you gonna start training again?” “You can't expect this to last forever right?” “You need a back up plan.” “You can always come home and I’ll help you study for whatever major you choose.”

Just as Natsuo opened his mouth, Juno cut him off.

“Maya—” “Don't even think about it.”

The sibling stood at a standstill. Staff members moved around them, making sure the rest of MAMA went off without a hitch. Unaware of the tense reunion unfolding before them.

“If any other words besides 'congratulations little sister!’ are about to come out of your mouth save it! My group just put the icing on the top of our coming out party cake. We’ve had the best year of our lives. And if you're gonna come here just to spew your own agenda against all entertainment jobs you can walk away right now. I’d rather remember you as the brother who was too busy studying to see his own sister off!” Juno was panting at the end of her rant. The initial anger ran dry. An unknown feeling replacing it.

Natsuo looked resigned. Despair in the corners of his eyes. The siblings stood frozen. In her peripheral, Juno can see Hannah ushering Aurora and Moxy away from the crack in the door. Giving the two estranged siblings a moment of privacy

As much privacy as you could get backstage at an award show.

Tentatively, Natsuo took steps closer to his sister. Her not backing away was a good sign. The closer he got, Juno closed her eyes, prepared to open them to empty space.

Brown eyes shot open at the embrace surrounding her. Sage filled her lungs bringing Juno back to her first figure skating event. She didn’t even place and these same arms wrapped around her. Encouraging to keep going. Reminding her that winning can’t be everything.

“If you always won, you’d have nothing to work for. Hard work not only creates winners but better people.”

Juno sank further into the embrace. She missed this. She still fit perfectly.

“I was wrong.” Juno tried to pull away to look her brother in the eye but he just pulled her tighter.

“I shouldn’t have stayed back to study. I was just…..scared. And that's not an excuse but I couldn't bear seeing this world chew up your talent and spit you back out. I guess I should have known all the real talent went to you.”

“You have talent, ani.”

“Not talent like yours imōto. I was a face.” Natsuo pulled away, bringing Juno into his eyesight. Juno felt his eyes trace her face, looking for what changed since they last saw each other all those years ago.

“I’m sorry, imōto. For putting my failures on you. For not seeing past my own shit. For not acknowledging your star power. I hope you can forgive me.”

“That's all I've wanted to hear.” Tears spilled from both their eyes. The dark cloud over the Okada siblings dissipates, leaving a rising sun in its wake.

Once the tears dried, the two still didn’t let go of each other. Afraid the other would disappear, Juno intertwined her fingers with the elders, pulling him in the opposite direction of AG’s dressing room.

“Aren’t you gonna introduce me to your members?” Natsuo laughed, letting his smaller sister lead the way.

“They can wait. Another family reunion awaits. Did Haha tell you cousin Ruto became an idol too?” Juno navigated the halls of the arena like a pro. Natsuo couldn’t help but be in awe all the hustle and bustle going around them and how the staff seemed to part for Juno.

“Umm…NO! Haruto became an idol too!!”

“Yeah, he performed earlier tonight. There he is! RUTO-YAH!! REMEMBER HIM!!!”

#NCT AG #NCT AG.Juno #NCT AG.Writing #nct female unit #nct female addition #nct female member #kpop addition #kpop!au #kpop!fakegroup #kpop!oc #kpop!addition #nct female subunit #nct female oc #kpop female member

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ashxllbey · 2 years

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Starman - Poe Dameron x fem!reader - Chapter 17: Gimme Shelter

GIF by chrishemsworht

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Word count: ±17.3k (yeah. I knooow) Warnings: swearing (a LOT of it. Like... a lot), canon-typical violence, mention of attempted sexual assault. Nothing descriptive AT ALL. I'll put some *** before the start of the paragraph so you can skip it if you want to. You'll still be able to understand the scene without it. Friendly reminder, though, that this blog (and, subsequently, this fic) *is* 18+ ONLY.

The initial surprise had worn off, replaced by contemplative shock on her part. On Kit's part, well... his face had gone from stunned to inexpressive in about two seconds. That face... the one she still knew so well. One she had called home for so long. How many years had it been? Three? Four? Since that night. She hadn't seen him since. To punish herself for turning her back on a man she had loved so much, she had never let herself grow close to anyone ever since. Leaving the Order had been hard. But leaving Kit... it had been hell. For years, as she walked the hallways of the Finalizer, she has told herself that she couldn't be more miserable. But it had taken her to lose the little things Y/N had to realize how happy she was.

In the Order, she had a home. Friends. And a man who had loved her way harder than she had deserved. After she had left that, it was only her. Alone. Going from planet to planet with no strings attached. Doing pilot jobs for whoever would pay. She had her freedom, but at what cost? Was it even worth it if it had cost her everything? Kit had always been the one who made it worth it. He had been the difference between surviving and living.

She dropped her weapon, feeling her chest grow tighter and her throat swell. They hadn't broken eye contact; Y/N saw conflict in his brown eyes. He closed them for a second. "Drop your weapons." "WHAT?!" Was his crew's answer. Poe was equally shocked. He kept looking between them. His hand had dropped lower, but he was still aiming at the guy's head. "What the hell? Y/N. What is this?" This was... she didn't know. She shook her head. "It's okay. I... I know him." "That's putting it mildly," Kit commented matter-of-factly. Y/N had rarely known him so cold. "I said drop your weapons, for Kriff's sake," he added. She wasn't sure if he was annoyed at them or her. Probably both. Reluctantly, the three bounty hunters did, and the pilots followed. The silence grew louder until the woman spoke up again. "Did you hit your head or something? We're here on a mission! Two million on the line, Kit! Now's not the time for morals! I suggest we kill these three and-" She never got the chance to finish her sentence. As she pointed at Y/N with her hand, Kit raised his blaster and pointed it at his partner's head. "Touch one hair of her head, and I'll blow your fucking face off." …That escalated quickly. The shock was evident on her face. To be honest, everyone, including Y/N, was surprised. She stared at Kit, who gave her a side-eye look but refused to meet her eyes.

The woman cursed and took a step back. Satisfied, Kit dropped his gun. "Alright. We need to get outta here before-" "Hold on. Who the hell are you, and why do you think we're going anywhere with you nut jobs?" Skylen interrupted. Oh, he was pissed. "Name's Kit," he impatiently answered. "And if you don't, you're all dead." "Doesn't answer the question," Poe countered. He still had his blaster in hand, and Y/N could feel his tenseness from across the room. She felt it from Kit, too. The forenamed man sighed dramatically and shot her an annoyed look that screamed: "is that who you hang out with now" before he turned to Poe with an exaggerated smile and mockery in his tone. "Maker. Okay. Let's make it simple so you'll understand. The guy you had a meeting with? He was informed that the communicator you used was provided by the Senate. Which means he knows you're Resistance. The guild who handles your bounty? They told everyone about it. Everyone and their mothers know the leader of the Resistance is on planet right now. You have a two million credits bounty on your damn head and half the bounty hunters of the galaxy looking for you. Now, I don't fuck with imperial bounties. We steer clear of the hits put on active Resistance members. But those guys out here?" He said, gesturing toward the door. "They hate your fucking guts. And they'll torture the heck outta you before they drop you off to the client. So you have two choices. You either get out of here with us and make it out alive, or you end up dead or worse. That's your call, man."

Poe clenched his jaw and eyed Kit up and down. It was clear he didn't know if he could trust him, and Kit knew it, too. He turned to Y/N with a hint of desperation. "I can get you outta here. I'd never lie to you." He... was right, he had never lied to her, not once. She held his gaze and sighed. "I believe him, Poe." "What- are you sure? They were shooting at us five minutes ago." "Because we- the guns were on incapacitating mode!" "That doesn't make it better." "Guys!" The female bounty hunter interrupted. "Militia is outside. They'll be here in about twenty seconds." Kit sighed and cursed. "Cover your face up, and let me handle this." Poe looked at Y/N expectantly. He obviously trusted her with the decision here, and she didn't know how she felt about that. "Okay." He gave her a stern nod and sneered. "Glad you at least trust me with that, huh?" She winced and closed her eyes for a brief second. This stung. Her heart felt like it had been punched. Maybe it had, somehow. "I deserve that," she mumbled. Kit put his helmet back on, strapped his gun to his thigh, and answered flatly: "Heck yes, you do." He turned around as a bunch of soldiers walked in, guns raised. They sported the Galactic Republic logo on their chest, but the armors weren't standard Senate-issued protections. One of them stepped forward as the bounty hunters and Poe and the group raised their hands. "Kit. Of course, it's you. What the hell happened?" The man shrugged nonchalantly. "We were looking for someone. Some dude got scared and shot at us. Made a fucking mess outta here. Shots were fired here and there. The usual." The other man, probably the marshal, sighed. "Who's they? Recruits?" "Yep, fresh blood." He nodded and looked at Klana, then at Y/N, then smirked. "Ya know how to pick'em. Alright. Get the hell out before I change my mind." Kit nodded toward the door, and they started moving toward it. As Poe got closer to the guards, the marshal eyed him suspiciously. Oh no. "Kit. One last thing." He froze, and Y/N knew him well enough to know he was getting ready to fight. His hand moved slightly toward his gun. "Yeah?" He asked warily. To anyone else, it was an innocent question. To Y/N, it sounded like the last warning before a bloodbath. "Do you know something about that high-profile bounty that's been going around? The Resistance one?" Kit took his time to answer, and Y/N was terrified he would rat them out. He turned around, looked the marshal straight in the eyes, and said: "I don't get involved with that. I'm done with them for good. Did seven years. That's enough."

An eternity - that was the only way she could describe it. A kriffing eternity, that's how long the silence lasted as they all waited for an answer. As they waited to see if this would end in a bloodbath. Kit was so tense that Y/N was worried he might just snap. She didn't know if that was because of her or not because he usually was calmer than that. But then again, years had passed. She didn't know him anymore. But she did know Poe and Maker was he just as tense, if not more. He had taken a step, a tiny one, in her direction. Y/N was directly facing one of the guards. If something went wrong, she would be the first to get shot. As it should be. So why was he even- "Took you long enough to find your brains, boy, huh? Now get outta here." And with that, the tension disappeared. Kit gave a mock salute as he relaxed, and the group walked out. Slowly, at first, it felt like walking toward their death. But no one shot at them. Once they were out of sight from the guards, Kit turned to them. "You need to get away from this place. Too many people." "And you just happen to conveniently have a hideout at your disposal, huh?" Poe said, sarcasm dripping from his words. She couldn't see him, but Y/N felt Kit rolling his eyes. "Yeah, Your Highness. As a matter of fact, I do. We have a safe place in the mountains up north. It's too far a walk, but we came with speeders. We leav'em in a cave and walk up to the top of the mountain. Sand people leave 'em alone as long as we bring them parts of whatever we pick up on bounties. Anyway. We gotta get out of Mos Eisley first. They're outside the city. That good with y'all?" He purposely stared at Y/N through his helmet, and the woman shrugged both to voice her lack of opinion and shrug the awkwardness away. She didn't like being the center of attention. "Don't look at me like that; I take orders from him." "' Course you do," he groaned. Hey! What was THAT supposed to mean?! But Poe didn't say anything, and the group started walking before Y/N could press the matter further.

It turned out the walk to the speeders was longer than anticipated; fifteen minutes, tops, but that was an eternity when it was so hot outside. Y/N was glad she had chosen light clothes, but the loose hair was sticking to her face, and she hated that. She fell behind the group, also because she didn't want to be near Kit. Or Poe. or�� Anyone, really. With quick and exasperated moves, she tied her hair back up, braiding it into one braid she let fall against her back. She was so focused on her task that she hadn't noticed Skylen and Klana getting closer until they were both walking by her side. "Sooooo," Klana said, dragging the vowel. "Who's that?" And HERE it was. The interrogation. Y/N groaned. "This is Kit." "Oh, we had gathered that much, Duckling," Skylen commented. "What Klana meant was - Maker, who is THAT?!" He all but whistled lowly. She rolled her eyes so hard she was sure they would get stuck. Ugh. She knew it was coming, but she had hoped to catch a break. "Well, uh. Remember I told you about that pilot I was seeing." "Yeah?" "Kriffing HELL, Y/N, THAT'S your ex?!" And of course, Skylen just HAD to say that loud enough to wake the dead up. By some miracle, none of the others heard them, and Y/N hushed him. "Say that louder, will you?! Yeah, that's, uh… Yeah." Silence. They shared a lasting look. "Where did you even FIND him? Kriff, he is gorgeous. I mean, it's not cool that he tried to kill you, but technically, he didn't know it was you, so I guess-" "Klana." "Sorry! Have you seen that guy?! If he has a twin, please send him my way." "Forget that. If he has a triplet who swings the other way, please send him MY way," Skylen added, and both giggled. If a Krait dragon could come and swallow her, Y/N would be pretty grateful. She huffed and ignored them as they babbled. Sure, they weren't exactly wrong. But it didn't matter… that was in the past.

Sensing her uneasiness and probably eager to see the object of her fawning from up close, Klana caught up with the group, leaving Skylen with Y/N. For once, the pilot was silent, and his friend was grateful for it. He was observing her, though. From the corner of his eyes, he stared silently as they walked, their feet crunching against the coarse sand. Some had already made its way into her boots, and she hated it. Why, oh, why did they have to go back to Tatooine? Was the universe so angry at her? "I gotta say," Skylen spoke up again. "I should have seen it earlier, but now, I see it crystal clear." He laughed softly and shook his head. What was so funny? What had he noticed? What was she missing? She stared at him hoping he would speak up, and he did, after a few seconds. "You SO have a type." "Wha-" she sneered. "I do NOT! What do you even know about it, huh?! You've met ONE ex of mine, for like, five minutes, might I had. What are you talking about-" "Let's see," Skylen interrupted. He repositioned his gun and once his hands were free again, started counting on his fingers. "Sassy as heck. Brown hair, brown eyes, killer smile, and a hotshot pilot. Oh, let's not forget the attitude. Rings a bell?" Y/N blinked once, twice, thrice, until she realized- Oh, hell no. It was not like that. Not at all. "I-" "Also, uh, I won't mention it to Klana, but I saw you two, you know," he gestured in her direction awkwardly. Maker. Could she die now? She started stuttering. "I- that was- we were- I was trying to create a diversion- Maker, Skylen, you're NOT helping! That's bullshit, by the way." She hadn't realized they'd been walking faster until she heard Poe's voice coming from a few meters away. "Blue! Keebler! Stop bickering! Force helps me deal with the two of you." Seriously? He was lashing out at them, now? Sure, he was tense, but there was no reason for that! Was the galaxy hell-bent on making this a shitty day for her?! She drilled a hole in his back with her glare hoping he could feel it. Now was not the time. "We're done with this conversation," she whispered-shout at Skylen, who cackled. "Sure we are, Duckling." He walked away, joining Klana at the front of the group, and Y/N huffed for good measure. He could bring the child out of her in record time, which pissed her off. In the distance, Y/N saw the speeders. Oh, sweet relief. She had never been happier to see one in her life. A busted, crappy bunch of second-hand speeders that looked like beskar steel to her. She sighed with relief and started walking faster. The sooner they were back on track with the mission, the better. Also, the sooner she could escape that talk with Kit she could see coming from miles away.

They reached the speeders a few moments later, and Kit ordered his team around, shifting their cargo to accommodate the weight of more people. Y/N watched them work until she sensed someone's presence by her side. She didn't have to look to know who it was; she knew his breathing by heart by now. Poe remained silent for a second until his curiosity got the best of him because he asked quietly: "Y/N, a word?" She let out a sigh he probably heard, but she didn't care. Why was everyone so interested in talking to her all of a sudden? "Sure," she groaned. They walked away by a couple of steps, and she hadn't even fully turned toward Poe when he bombarded her with questions. "What's that? Who's that? How do you know him? And can we even trust those guys? Because I sure as hell don't think someone who sent you against a table really has your best interests at heart. Are you okay, by the way? That was a nasty hit." Her lip was still sore, and she would probably have a bruise on her ribs, but she would survive. She shrugged. "Maker, Poe! I'm good. One question at a time. I don't know what's happening either. All I know is they're our best chance to get you out of here. Something went wrong with the plan. I don't know how anyone could know. But Kit's right, with the bounty on your head? You're in danger. So the best thing we can do is to lay low for a while, regroup, and think of a new plan." They were both painfully aware she had avoided half of the questions, and Y/N hoped he would let it go. But she knew better; she knew Poe better. Of course, he didn't. He stared at her expectantly, and Y/N knew she owed him answers. Their survival was hanging in the balance, and she was the one holding it by a thread. "Kit is, uh. We were… He is my-" "Ex-boyfriend." They both jumped, and Y/N turned around so fast she almost fell. The bounty hunter was standing right behind them, helmet under his arm. He… was annoyed. He rolled his eyes. "And former first lieutenant, if you wanna be specific. Lieutenant KT-4455 of the 204th. Is that precise enough for you, or are you gonna interrogate her longer?" Both men stared at each other until Y/N shook her head. "You know what? Let's go. Before I decide that dying out here is less torture than going through that."

She settled on the speeder with Skylen as Klana sat behind Poe. With one last look behind him, Kit opened the road, and off they went, gliding through the desert at full speed. It was the first time in hours that Y/N felt at ease. The speed, the silence, it was everything she enjoyed. But it also meant she had time to think about the recent events. She closed her eyes behind her goggles, trying to drown the fresh memories in the whirlwind of her mind. Leaning forward like that made her ribs hurt, and she realized she had probably hit the table harder than she had thought. Oh, well. Served Y/N right for what she had done to him. On the bright side, she was glad she had taken some goggles earlier that day. Even though Skylen was taking most of the sand in his face, shielding her with his body as they zoomed across the vast sea of yellowish grains, the rough texture still whipped at her face from time to time. But it wouldn't be long until they stopped; the mountains were right ahead. Only a few kilometers away.

Above their heads, the two suns had started their descending course. It would still be a couple of hours until sunset, but it was nice to know that day was coming to an end. It had been a disaster on all accounts. Slowly, the speeders came to a halt, engaging in a dead-end between two mountains. They were high, all rock and sand. They had barely jumped down when a flock of sand people made their way toward them, haggling them and screeching. Kit answered in their language, and they departed with several bags of scraps. What they would use them for, Y/N didn't know. Kit grabbed the rest of the supplies from his speeder and gestured for the others to do the same. With their cargos, they started their ascension. The path to the top was precarious; they had to walk it in single file. The stones beneath their feet threatened to give out several times, and the rocks were getting wobblier as they got closer to the top. If you added the fatigue caused by the sun, the trio was pretty much as close as it could get to a hike in hell. Okay, she might have been exaggerating.

Finally, they reached what was their destination if Kit's reaction was any indication. They had stopped on a rocky promontory from which a cave ran deep into the rock. He grabbed a glow stick from his belt and lit it, walking further into the mountain until they couldn't see the sky anymore. Then, he hit something, and Y/N realized it was a metallic door. He opened it, held it for her, and nodded toward the inside. "Welcome to Casa Tatooine. Now come on. We don't have all night." The group followed him, and one of the bounty hunters locked the door behind them. Y/N blinked to adjust her sight to the level of luminosity. Kit had turned on some electrical system, and various warm lights were lighting up across a large, single room. Said room was circular, roughly carved into the porous rock. They had installed pieces of furniture made from metal scraps; none of them went well with the others. It was artisanal, and Y/N loved it. Some tunnels had been dug, their doors lower than the height of the ceiling. There was a couch on one side, a table in the middle with dusty cushions to sit on, and a wall had become a weapon display. Kit immediately put it to use, storing most of his guns into premade slots. "There's a fresher in the first hallway to your right. The pipes are rusty; you might wanna hit them before you use them. The rooms are on the left. They're not big enough to host all of us, so you're gonna have to share. Make yourself comfy while we put our stuff away. Get some rest, some water, and we will talk." That was a plan she could get on board with. For a moment, nobody moved, unsure of what to do. The bounty huntress rolled her eyes and walked away. "Call dibs on the fresher." Klana and Poe disappeared toward the rooms, Skylen unpacked his stuff in a corner, and one of the other bounty hunters put his weapons next to Kit's. His friend busied himself with one of his blasters. As for Y/N... she stood there, unsure of what to do. She took off her jacket and put it on a chair, then went back to fidgeting with her locks, tying them back into two braids. She liked her hair way better this way.

From across the room, Kit observed her. It was subtle, but she could feel his gaze. Sensing it was a good time to strike a conversation without slipping into dangerous territory, she walked up to him. "So, do you guys live on Tatooine? How did you even find that place?" He chuckled, sitting on the couch. Y/N followed, making sure she wasn't too close. "Hell no. I hate sand, you know it. It's just a place we hang out at when we're on planet. Found it by accident when I left the Order. Was trying to get to the top of the mountain to look around when I stumbled upon this place. Must have belonged to some random hermit or something. I fixed up the pipes and stuff and brought things from the city. It's nice enough. Our base is on Andooweel." That was a nice planet. Y/N nodded thoughtfully; he had made himself a comfy life. As the silence stretched, he started to take off his armor. Y/N had been observant; it had belonged to a trooper. He had probably stolen it... or killed his owner. "Kriff, I hate this thing. Taking it off never gets easier," he grumbled, and Y/N giggled as she saw him fumble with the clasps. She wiggled over to his side of the couch. "Here. Let me help." Kit didn't say anything, but he didn't try to stop her either. Instead, he just turned his head, giving her access to the mechanism below his throat. Y/N was used to First Order armor. She had worn one for so long that putting it on and taking it off was second nature to her. She made quick work of the plastron and the shoulder pads, loosening them enough for Kit to slide out of them. He was tense and avoided looking her in the eyes. Maybe getting closer to him wasn't a good idea. There was still a ton of stuff to unpack between them. Talk about a Bantha in the room. "So, Resistance, huh? I guess I should've seen it coming," he said casually, putting his armor on a crate. Y/N snickered. "Well, I can't say I would've expected you to become a bounty hunter." "Gotta work for a living. Pays better than Hux." They shared a smile. "Do you still get to fly?" She asked, and he nodded. "You kiddin'? I'd shoot myself if I couldn't. Yeah, got me a ship I saved up for. It ain't TIE fast, but I can make it work. It's been a while since anyone was a real match to my skills." Ah, cocky as always! Y/N shook her head. She wasn't doubting him, though; he was an incredible pilot. "You?" He asked in return, and she grinned proudly. "I fly with Poe. Got a spot in his squad." Kit looked at her for a second before laughing, his brown locks falling on his forehead. He pushed them back mindlessly. Funny how he still had the same tics he used to have. "I'll be damned. That's so ironic; I know Hux is turning in his grave. At least you got your hands on an X-Wing, huh? How does it compare to your ship?" They started talking about ships, their specifications, and the technical differences. It was a safe topic, and Y/N enjoyed it. Kit had always been easy to talk to. She knew it wouldn't last. The only reason they weren't speaking of the issue was the presence of his men in the room. That, and the other, more urgent topic. But she couldn't avoid the fight, and she knew it.

As the two teams learned to cohabitate with the others, time passed. They shared rations, showered, and drank some needed water. Half an hour later, however, the eight soldiers were finally together in the main room. Y/N stood against a wall as Kit and Poe sat at the table. The rest of them was scattered around the room, Skylen behind Poe and the woman —Pipa, as Y/N heard— behind Kit. "Alright. I want to know about the bounty. How did you know we'd be here?" Kit sighed and leaned against his chair, sitting against its back with nonchalance. He was staring at Poe, probably thinking about what he should tell him or not. His eyes met Y/N's. He sighed and leaned forward, opening his mouth to- "Wait, you sure we should tell them?" One of his friends interrupted. "For all we know, they could get us arrested. I don't trust them." He turned to him and rolled his eyes. "I don't trust them either. But I do trust Y/N. And if she trusts them, they're good in my book." Y/N smiled gratefully at him when their eyes met again, and he gave her a nod. "You've never been able to think straight when she's brought up anyway," Pipa muttered. Kit flipped her off. "Anyway. As I was sayin' earlier, your signal, the one you used to contact the dude, was flagged as Galactic Republic, Senate-grade stuff. Inside tip or something. But the guy who told me about it? He knows people. Told me someone well-informed had talked about it. When I realized who that idiot was meeting with, I dropped everything and came here. Listen, I told ya, we don't get involved with bounties like that. But that's different. If there was a chance I could find you there, I'd take it." "Why?" Y/N asked. "Why were you trying to kidnap us?" Kit winced. He wasn't comfortable with the question. He rubbed the back of his neck hard enough to turn it red. "Don't get me wrong, sweetheart, I wasn't gonna turn y'all in. Buuut earning myself a favor from the Resistance might have been the goal here. That's worth more than just credits." Y/N grimaced, both at the revelation and the pet name. It had been said out of habit, which was... interesting. For someone who was pissed at her, he had been quick to return to his old ways... her stomach did a flip. She wasn't too sure how she felt about that. She caught Poe's eyes right after, and his jaw was so tense she was pretty sure it would snap. Wow. He was PISSED. Kit must have realized his mistake because he looked mortified for a second before hiding his discomfort with a shrug. "Doesn't matter. I had a... change of heart. I wanna help you out. Ask me anything. I'll tell you what I know." "Yeah, a change of heart, alright. If it wasn't for her pretty face, we'd be two million richer by now," the other guy said. "Hope she at least gave you a good-" "HEY!" Klana shouted. "You don't talk about Y/N like this, sexist mudscruffer! If you have nothing useful to say, get out."

Y/N didn't even have the time to react. Klana's anger had stopped the guy dead in his sentence, so she merely shot her a thankful look. To be honest, she had seen that coming from the moment Kit had recognized her and asked them to lower their guns in response. The guy huffed and looked at Kit for support, but he found none. Shaking his head, he mumbled something on his way out. Kit sighed once the door was heard. "Sorry 'bout that. It's been a rough coupla months. The Republic controls bounties now. Less work for us. Which is why it's so surprising to see a bounty so high." That was... a surprising effect of their win. And an upsetting one for a lot of people, she imagined. Poe rubbed his neck, embarrassed. He wasn't a senator, but Y/N knew him well enough to know he felt responsible for that. He didn't say anything, though; he only nodded. "Know anything about that?" Kit shrugged. He looked at Y/N again, then back at Poe. "I know what I've been told. Obviously, someone putting a hit on the Resistance's poster boy wanna lay low. Words on the street are it's either a warlord or a crazy bastard whose business your victory messed with." "But you don't buy that." "Nope." Y/N frowned. If anything, Kit's instincts were sharper than a lightsaber. If he wasn't convinced, she trusted him. "Not gonna lie. You're not so popular around here. These people? They don't care who comes on top. It doesn't change anything about their lives. But none of them would be rich enough to do something about you. Hell, I don't think anyone in the First Order got paid even half of that amount in seven years. And if they'd wanted to come after you, they would've done that when the galaxy was still a mess. Instead, they waited a year. You've got ships and men and resources. Doesn't make sense to attack now. If they're First Order, they're too dumb to be an ex-officer. Hux included." Y/N snorted. That was debatable. "He's got a point, Poe," Skylen said. "And all the big guys have been captured anyway. The rest of them are hunted down, and I don't think they'd spend two million on that. Would rather pay for security." The General nodded. It would have been so easier to just get a name. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at Y/N. "Who, then?" He asked in her direction, although the question was for Kit. He shrugged. "Beats me. ...But I might know a guy."

The hesitation in his voice got Y/N to squint. He purposely avoided her eyes. "Oh, I know that look," she said. "You always make that face when you've gotten involved in shady stuff. Who's the guy?" He groaned as Pipa snorted. "She knows you well." He mumbled something, and the woman stepped forward. "He's not gonna say it because he doesn't wanna look like a dumbass. But there's a guy on Andooweel. A Devaronian. Mob boss. Runs the shady businesses around the sector. They took over after the fall of the Order. He's the head of the Crimson Cross." Skylen cursed loudly, and everyone turned to him. "I know those bastards. They blew up one of our own a couple of months ago," he hissed in anger. "Been wanting to get back at them for a while. That guy ranks top five on the most hated list of the Resistance." Uh oh. That wasn't good. If they were willing to attack openly, they weren't scared of the Republic. "Yeah, well, Kit's best buds with him," Pipa piped up again. The forenamed man groaned loudly. "I am NOT! I played Sabacc with him ONCE!" He hissed in anger. Y/N rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Cozying up to mobsters now?" "Sweetheart, you were best pals with a Sith Lord for four years. You might wanna sit this one out," he deadpanned. Ah, so it had started. …He did have a point, though.

"Doesn't matter. He is the one who spread the word about the bounty. If anyone knows who's the client? It's him." Poe looked at his team and nodded. "Then let's ask him." Kit winced, and Y/N could smell trouble from a hyperspace jump away. "Yeah... might not be that easy. He knows I don't take bounties like that. He'll never speak to me. He doesn't talk to strangers either. You only get a meeting if he knows who you are. Monitored every move of anyone important around the galaxy for years. If he doesn't know you? You're not worth it." ...That made things more complicated. They fell silent. Y/N could hear the cogs in Poe's head turning. They had to get this piece of information, somehow. Maybe someone could weasel their way in? Pose as an ex- …Wait a second. A dreadful thought crossed her mind, and Y/N felt the blood rushing away from her face. She stared in the distance with empty eyes as she realized they had a way in. And the mere thought of it made her stomach churn. But unfortunately for her, she still knew Kit… and he still knew her well enough to realize how ghastly she looked. "Y/N? You okay?" All eyes were on her. She felt a lump in her throat, and her chest felt heavy. She hated this. She hated this. But when she looked at Poe, she realized there wasn't anything she wouldn't do to help him out. So, she stepped forward. "You said… you said he knows everyone. Everyone important. He knew who everyone was during the war too?" "Yeah, I'd think so. Why?" He carefully asked. Y/N closed her eyes for a second. Her mouth was dry; getting the words out was pure torture. It was like opening a fresh wound with a rusty, burning vibroblade. Somehow, it was just that. "So he knew who was who in the Order." Kit only nodded. He didn't say anything. But in his eyes, something shifted. Warily, he leaned forward and frowned. "What are you suggesting?" He asked. Softly. Too softly. He had already guessed correctly. "If… Let's say I-if… Maker. If the Captain of the most famous squadron in the First Order came knocking at his door. He would grant us a meeting, right?" Kit stared into her eyes. So intensely, she felt like he was probing her soul. "…Yes." Good. That was… good. "And if, if she… If I… if I showed up in my armor. Would he be willing to talk business?"

His jaw dropped as he finally put in place the last piece of the puzzle. "…Fucking Hell. You didn't burn it." She shook her head no. "I couldn't. I hid it. Right here. On Tatooine." Kit actually gasped. As everyone else just stared, confused. "What the heck are you two saying?" Skylen butted in. Y/N could feel Poe's eyes burning a hole in her back as she turned to him. "I'm saying it's me. I'm our way in. I will get us an audience. And make him talk, whatever it takes." There. She had said it. Captain Thunderbird was making a return. She hated the thought. That role she had played for so long, that character she had turned herself into, had so much blood on her hands she was drowning in it. But she would do it. For Poe. Because there was nothing she wouldn't do for Poe Dameron. Silence, again. That damn silent. She would have preferred screams, cries of outrage, and heated discussions. But no. They were all silent. Kit cursed and rubbed his hands on his face. "There's still an issue, though," Poe finally said. She turned to him. He was staring at her with a blank face, but she could see… curiosity? Determination? In his eyes. "When you talked to me about your missions, you told me nobody knew who you were. You've always kept your face hidden. Which means he will want proof of your identity, right? You could have stolen that armor." …He was right. "I have the blade, too. The one Kylo gifted me. But it's true that without my code cylinder, it'd be harder to prove who I am. Even with Kit vouching for me. I could have stolen the blade too." She opened her mouth to add something but was interrupted by someone coughing. She slowly turned to Kit, who stared at the ground by her feet. He sighed deeply, pinched the bridge of his nose, and slipped his hand into his undershirt. Y/N frowned and watched in silence as he produced a chain from which was dangling- Wait. He took the chain off and made it slide out of the pendant. Then, he sent said pendant rolling on the table in her direction with a metallic cling. It stopped in front of her, wobbling for a second before staying still. Y/N stared in a stupor. "That's… Is that…?" "Your code cylinder. Yeah." He had kept it? For all those years? "Why?" "Because it's the only fucking thing I had left of you," he seethed.

…Yeah. Kit was still pissed. Y/N picked it up from the table and put it in her jacket's pocket. She didn't want to look at it. "Kit-" "Don't bother. We will have that talk LATER. For now, I'm gonna call someone and see when we can see Gideon. You get that armor of yours, we'll regroup here. He hosts parties on the regular. I have a plan to get you all in along with us. I trust you're okay with me doing my own thing for a bit?" He asked Poe. The General nodded, and Kit threw him the keys to the speeders. "The suns set in about two hours. You need to get back before they're fully gone. You'll freeze out there. You two, with me," he said to his friends. Pipa and the other bounty hunter left the room, following Kit, who purposely didn't look in Y/N's direction as he walked past her. The room became silent again. Y/N slumped on a chair and let out a long sigh. That day needed to end. "I, uh. Sorry you had to see that. I'd hoped to talk to him before he snapped." She massaged her temples for a second before pulling herself together. She couldn't think about that now. They needed to get moving. She grabbed her jacket from the chair and put it on. "The armor is hidden in a village a few kilometers west of Mos Eisley. From where we are, it'll probably take us half an hour to get there; another one to come back. We'll be back here before the suns reach the horizon." Klana put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "It's not your fault how he's feeling, Y/N," she whispered as Poe and Skylen engaged in a conversation about Finn and what to tell him. Y/N chuckled sadly. "It kind of is. I broke his heart, Klana." "He is a big boy. He'll survive." He would. But that wasn't the problem.

The two men discussed for a moment longer before they turned back to the two women. Poe stood up. "Alright. One of us will need to call Finn with the secured transponder to fill him in. Tell him we're not dead. Another one of us will have to get back to the ship. Pay for more nights, and get some weapons from the trunk. And-" "Poe?" He perked up, looking in her direction, waiting for her to speak. Y/N shook her head. "I need you to come with me. I can't do that alone." If "surprise" was a person, Y/N was pretty sure Poe's face would represent it perfectly. He blinked a couple of times before clearing his throat. "Of course. If that's… what you want. Uh. Klana, you call Finn. Skylen, you get to the ship. We'll be back tonight. If Kit tries anything funny-" "I'll kick his ass," Skylen interrupted matter-of-factly. He winked in Y/N's direction, and despite being upset, she couldn't help but giggle. "Go for his left leg. I shoot him there once, and he still suffers from it sometimes." "Noted, Duckling." With a grateful look in his direction, she and Poe followed after the bounty hunters, closing the door behind them.

Fortunately, the universe had decided to spare her from the awkward meeting outside, on the promontory. None of them were anywhere in sight. Perhaps this place was larger than she had thought. Regardless, she didn't stick around to find out; she started walking down the rocky path, careful not to step on a loose rock that would send her down the hill faster than an X-Wing could fly. Poe was silent. He hadn't said a word since they had left the room. Y/N knew he was thinking. And she knew him well enough to know he wanted to say something but didn't know how. "You can speak, you know. I'm fine," Y/N finally said. She made a point to look forward, even though the path was now large enough for him to walk by her side. Instead, she focused on the scenery in front of her. The two burning balls in the sky painted the desert in nuanced shades of pink and orange. It was subtle enough to go unnoticed by someone who didn't know the planet, but Y/N knew it. All too well, perhaps. "Are you sure about that? That was rough," he answered after a moment. Y/N snickered, earning herself a confused look. "Oh, actually, I'm surprised it went that well. The worst is yet to come. Kit is keeping his cool for now because he has a mission. But it won't last. He is too angry at me." Rightfully so. "You never talk about him. What happened?" She kicked some pebbles away with her feet. It was unnecessary, but it felt good. "I left." "That's it?" "I left without a note. After three years and a half together." Silence. "Kriff." She laughed unwillingly. His reaction had been so spontaneous and so on point. "Yeah, Kriff indeed. Pretty sure if I had stayed, we would be married by now." She was expecting a snarky comment as an answer, but Poe stayed silent. She sneaked a glance in his direction. He was looking at her with an unreadable expression on his face. She nodded and prompted him to speak up. "Never would have pegged you for the type. I mean, I don't mean-" Y/N laughed at how embarrassed he abruptly was, probably realizing how offensive it could be. She shook her head and stopped. The speeders were just a few meters down now. "It's okay. I understand. And you're wrong. I love weddings. Funny, isn't it? I used to think about it. Kit and I getting married after the war. Then I realized I'm not exactly the kind of woman you bring home to your parents. I got four years of questionable activity." Poe laughed and pointed at her playfully. "That's bullshit. I'm pretty confused, though. Who would you have asked to walk you down the aisle? Hux?" She joined him and laughed, doubling over in laughter. "Maker! Can you IMAGINE?! Oh, no. I could picture him with a rose on his vest." She wiped tears off the corners of her eyes as Poe managed to calm down. It took them a second to stop laughing. They started walking again, and Y/N hesitated. She wanted to ask him a question too but wasn't sure it was appropriate. And then she remembered he had almost carried her drunk to her room and thought better of it. "Did you ever think about it? Settling down after the war?" For a moment, he was silent, and Y/N was afraid she had offended him. Offending Poe - that would have been an accomplishment in itself. But instead, he smiled. "I guess? There were days when thinking about what could be was the only thing that kept us going. I thought about it. Then I realized, as you said… This kind of life? Not exactly for the likes of us. It'd take someone really open-minded to be able to handle being married to me. And I'm technically a veteran with thousands of kills under his belt. Not the kind of thing you bring up to a family dinner." Y/N chuckled and finally stepped off the mountain, getting closer to the speeders. There were no sand people in sight. Good. She didn't speak their language and didn't fancy shooting one down to get out of the canyon. "I disagree. If I ever have a kid and they bring home a man like you? Then I'd know I raised them right." He laughed but rubbed the back of his neck. Whoops, he was embarrassed. It looked like Poe Dameron was, after all, awkward with a certain type of compliments, too! "I don't know about that. And you're just saying that because you want a raise." Okay, she would let him have this one. He tossed her the keys to the speeder, and she sat on it, starting it up. "Is it working?" "Mildly." She was still laughing when she put her goggles on and pulled her scarf up. With a nod, she told Poe she was ready, and they sped forward, out of the mountains and into the desert. The journey to the village was pretty uneventful. They didn't cross paths with anyone. No creature, no human, nothing in between. They could only hear the soft humming of the speeders gliding across the never-ending desert. Some ships would fly above their heads, headed for the atmosphere; they would shrink, turning into a tiny dot in the distance before eventually vanishing. Y/N remembered how she had been one of them all those years ago. She also remembered the star destroyer looming over Mos Eisley, a black mass in the distance. She was glad the sky was free of that. It had also been a while since she had last ridden a speeder. It was… strange. She preferred spaceships but enjoyed it nonetheless. It could go quite fast, she controlled it very precisely and was so close to the ground and the engine it felt like she was one with it. Strange, indeed. As they got closer to their destination, Y/N turned right and headed for the small village. It wasn't too far from the city. She just hoped it hadn't been pillaged. And if it had, she prayed they hadn't found the secret stash. No, she couldn't think about that.

After a few more minutes on the familiar path, the village came into view. Swept by the desert winds and the sand it carried, the dome-shaped houses were dandelion now. Some of them had their feet buried in sand, which indicated nobody had been there in a while. Y/N slowed her bike down and stopped it right in front of the last house before the canyon. It was exactly as she remembered it to be. There was still a hole in the wall made by some kid from one of the other houses. He had stolen his dad's blaster and was playing with it. This had earned him an earful from Ada, Ectel, and his parents. They had received a gift as an apology. Y/N took off her goggles and pulled down her scarf. She knew they didn't have much time, but she couldn't help and linger outside, sitting on her speeder. This was… the only home she had ever known. It wasn't hers, but it was enough. Sand screeched under Poe's boots as he got off his speeder and approached hers. He stopped by her side. His hair was messy, and he shook it softly, making sand snow on his shoulders. "Was this your home?" "Yeah. It belonged to Ectel and Ada. That's where I stayed before they drafted me. I came back when I left, but they'd moved out. The people here all left for the city. It's been abandoned for years. I'm surprised Jawas or sand people didn't destroy it stone by stone." Poe nodded and shifted his weight from one leg to the other, clearly hesitating, as Y/N jumped off her speeder. "I can wait outside if you want. I don't want to, uh…" She shook her head and smiled softly. "It's okay. You can come in. It's just… weird. This is the only thing I have from my past, and it's not even really mine." She cocked her head to the side, thinking about it for a moment. She chuckled softly. "Never took anyone here either." Funny how of all people, Poe would be the first one to visit this place. Sure, she had invited him. But that was because she was comfortable having him around. This house had seen innocent Y/N back when she was still a young woman who had (supposedly) never wronged anyone. Killed anyone. This version of her was dead and buried, and she didn't like when people sneaked a peek into her past. It showed them just how badly she had changed. Somehow, she wasn't scared of that with Poe. "Not even Kit?" He asked nonchalantly. She stopped for a second. Why was he curious about that? "…No. I never asked him to."

She squared her shoulders and walked in. There was sand inside, not much, but enough to show Y/N that no one had come in for a while. Perhaps even since she had left the place. The main room was empty, save from some voluminous items the two women had left behind for practical reasons. There was a carved Eopie by the kitchen table. It had been sculpted in rocks by Ada years ago. It had probably fallen from their bag as they left. She picked it up and put it on the table. She didn't know why. Y/N could still see the three of them sitting at the table, eating soup as they talked about their day. Hear the Eopies in the distance as they groaned quietly. Life was simple, but it had been good. She felt Poe's hand on her back, gently getting her attention. She turned to him; he had stayed quiet until now. "You okay?" She gave him a firm nod. "Yes. Come on. The box is hidden under the Eopie's food tank. That was their secret stash. Hopefully, nobody found it." With determined steps, she crossed the room, exiting through the backdoor. Then, instead of turning right down the stairs and to the rooms, she headed left, left the house, and entered the Eopies' pen. On the other side of it was their food tank. Y/N sighed in relief upon seeing it unbroken. It could have been moved and put back into place, but what kind of looter would go to that length? When she reached it, she stepped forward to push it, but Poe beat her to it. "Let me. You took a nasty hit to your chest, and your hand is still healing." She nodded. As much as she hated relying on someone, Poe was right. And she knew he was genuinely concerned, not just being sexist. He pushed the tank against the fence, revealing a box buried underneath. Y/N couldn't help but smile. "It's still here!" Thank the Maker for that. She hurriedly dropped to her knees and opened it- Finding the blade exactly how she had left it. She closed the lid immediately. "Y/N? Is something-" "It's… here. Let's go." Poe didn't say anything. She was grateful for it. The last thing she wanted was to have to explain herself.

They pulled the crate out of its cache and silently walked back to the speeders. Poe tied it to the back of Y/N's bike, and five minutes later, they were on their way back. Y/N had the unsettling feeling she was carrying a bomb of some sort. Perhaps it was one, in some ways. What would they think, seeing her wearing it? This had been the pinnacle of her time in the Order. The starkest symbol of her allegiance to the Knight of Ren. A physical testimony of what she had done. She was suddenly glad Rey wasn't with them for this mission. She would have hated for her to see it. It would remind her of the Knights and Kylo. Somehow, the trip back to the base felt incredibly short. Perhaps it was the irony that the worse was yet to come; Y/N had made it through her trip down memory lane, but her talk with Kit was right around the corner. When they parked their speeders, Y/N noticed one of them had been moved, which meant Skylen was already back. Good. With less than an hour to spare before the suns set, they were right on time. Things were starting to fall into place. She just hoped it would continue like that.

When they finally stepped into the base after a quick walk to the top of the mountain, Y/N tensed. But Kit was nowhere to be seen. Her friends hung with the bounty hunters, and Skylen played Sabacc with Pipa. That guy could befriend a Wampa. "Did you find it?" She nodded firmly in Klana's direction and put the box next to the couch. Then, she frowned. "Where is Kit?" Klana nodded to her left, toward a hallway she hadn't seen yet. "Kitchen." Well. At least it was a secluded area. Perfect. She did NOT look forward to it. But she had to. As Poe was whisked away by Klana - something about Finn needing him to call him back - she took a deep breath and followed Kit. The hallway, dug in the stone, was more humid than the main room. The wall was sweating, covering its surface with a shiny-like finish. It took a hairpin turn right, and Y/N followed it as the light decreased. It wasn't very well-lit, and she almost walked into the wall. Then, after a few seconds, she emerged into the kitchen. It was really a storage room filled with various crates. Probably half the size of the main room, it looked smaller due to the mess. Kit was bent over one of the boxes and was looking for something. From what Y/N could see, it was full of ammunition. He didn't turn around when she came in, likely recognizing her footsteps. Y/N leaned against a wall and waited for him to say something. He didn't. Well. Off to a good start. "We found it. Right where I had left it. How did things go with your contact?" Finally, he turned toward her, leaning against his side of the wall, arms and feet crossed. "Gideon has a party tomorrow. We're in luck. It's held in one of his clubs. One of the questionable ones. Guns are allowed and everything. That's good news for us. I can get us all in." "How?" "I'll come with you. I'm your way in. Will tell him you asked for an audience. Dameron and your bearded friend will pose as death troopers. I've got two armors they can use. I won't be too suspicious. You're supposed to be the Order's finest in a Galaxy that hates your guts. It wouldn't be too surprising to see you with guards." True. "The rest of my men and your lady friend will be outside and watch over the entrances. Don't wanna be surprised in case something goes wrong." Sounded like a plan.

They stayed silent for a moment. Kit was looking at her, unmoving, waiting, his arms still crossed. She KNEW she had to take the first step. She was the one who had started this mess. Y/N sighed. It was going to be messy. If anything, Kit was more hot-headed on the regular than she could ever be in her worst moments. "Go ahead, Kit. Ask me. I know you want to." He huffed and pursed his lips. "You really wanna do that now, Y/N?" No. HELL no. But they had to. "It's as good a day as any," she shrugged casually - had least, she hoped so. She knew herself well enough to be sure it had appeared awkward. He nodded thoughtfully. As he looked down, searching for his words, his hair fell on his eyes. He looked better like this, with longer hair and a short beard. But that was beside the point. "Why? Why exactly did you leave?" Yeah… She was expecting the question. It didn't mean she had a good answer. "It… wasn't your fault. I just had to leave-"

He laughed. Okay. She wasn't expecting that. "Oh, no, Y/N. You don't get to tell me that. I've waited THREE YEARS to get an answer. You're NOT getting out of this with that kind of bullshit. Was it Ren? Did he threaten you? Was it Hux? Snoke? Huh?" It would have been way easier if she had been threatened. Kit was already getting angry. She could feel him fuming from across the room. For now, he was keeping his voice down. But he had been furious at her for years, and that wouldn't last. She grimaced. "No, they didn't." "They didn't," he repeated. He chuckled humorlessly. Y/N had the unpleasant impression she had been called to a meeting to be grilled for ten minutes straight. …She did deserve it. "So, care to tell me why the FUCK you left in the middle of the night, without a NOTE? For fuck's sake, Y/N! You didn't even LEAVE ME A NOTE! Do you have ANY idea how worried I was when I found your room empty? Oh, yeah, because I'm the one who found the video for Ren," he added when she opened her mouth. Her blood ran cold. Oh, no. "I'm the one who had to tell him you had deserted. I'm the one who told the kriffing LEADER OF THE KNIGHTS OF REN his own soldier had betrayed him. I gave him your video. He took a few minutes to watch it. And when he came back? I'd NEVER seen him so angry in my entire life. He trashed the ENTIRE ROOM, named me leader in your place, and sent the team and me after you. On the KRIFFING SPOT, Y/N. I didn't know about it. He didn't know. There was NOTHING that could've given me a heads up. NOTHING. So WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE?!" "BECAUSE I COULDN'T DO IT ANYMORE!" She screamed, realizing slightly too late she had been loud enough for everyone in the other room to hear. Well. Too late. She didn't care anyway. "I couldn't even LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, Kit! Do you have ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE? Coming home EVERY SINGLE DAY and spending a KRIFFING HOUR washing blood off your hands? Blood that shouldn't have been spilled? Blood I SPILLED because HE had asked me to?! Do you have ANY IDEA how much I hated myself? How much I hated myself for being so good at it?! No, you Kriffing DON'T! I'm not like you! I've NEVER been a soldier! I was dragged into this mess when YOU chose it! YOU joined the ranks! YOU applied for the 204th! You might've been able to forget every damn pilot you killed, but I NEVER COULD!" "SERIOUSLY?! Do you think I didn't care? You think I never woke up in the middle of the night screaming because I could see their faces?! You think because I asked to join the unit, I WANTED it?! You think I liked having blood on my hands?!" No. No, that wasn't what she- "I HATE the Order, Y/N! I fucking HATED Ren; I HATED Hux. I HATED living on a damn star destroyer. But I stayed. I fucking STAYED. And you wanna know why? Because of YOU! I stayed because I KNEW if I was there, someone would have your back. I stayed because I KRIFFING LOVED YOU, DAMMIT!" He had… He- no. Did he want to leave the 204th? Was he lying? Was he… He wasn't. Y/N knew he wasn't. Her anger flared down instantly, but his didn't. If anything, she had pissed him off even more. "You know what happened after you left?! He sent us after you. When we lost your trail on Tatooine two days later, he brought us all back. And since he FUCKING KNEW about the two of us, he interrogated me." …No. No. He hadn't… Please, he hadn't… "Well, to be specific, he tore everything from my mind as he probed it with his damn Force powers. Wanna know what happens when a Sith Lord probes your mind and you try to shut him out? Do you have ANY IDEA what kind of pain it causes, huh? How much you want to DIE? You know what? Let's ask Dameron. Because HE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE TORTURED BY KYLO REN." Yes. Yes, Poe knew. Y/N felt sick. What had she done? She wanted to speak, to say something, anything, but Kit beat her to it again. "When he had ripped every single piece of information from my head, he decided I was worth more to him alive than dead. Hux appointed me as the new leader and sent us after you. Do you have ANY IDEA what it's like, Y/N? To wake up every day, to get into your ship and PRAY to whatever fucking God there is out here that today will NOT be the day you find the love of your life and have to put a fucking blaster shot through her brains? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE? What the HELL DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!"

What the hell, indeed? She shook her head. "I'm sorry, Kit. I thought if I left without saying anything, Ren would leave you alone. I thought he would focus on me. I only wanted to protect you-" "Well, that worked out just fucking perfectly, didn't it?" Hey! That wasn't her fault! That wasn't fair! As much as she blamed herself, she also had time to think. What Ren was doing was HIS choice. She had no part in that. And blaming her for that was not fair. She frowned and took a step forward angrily. "And how was I supposed to know that?! What was I supposed to do, huh? What would YOU have done in my place?" "I would NEVER have left you! NEVER! You think I wasn't fucking serious when I told you I would go to hell and back for you?! I would have come with you, dammit! You only had to ask!" "I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO!" Silence. He stared at her in silence, and it somehow felt louder than any of his screams. "There you go. Took you long enough," Kit chuckled darkly.

Poe pushed the door open as he stepped into the base. He rubbed his forehead with a sigh. Of course, Finn wanted to talk to him and rub in his face that Rey should have come with them. But he wasn't afraid for his safety. Sure, the bounty was inconvenient. But it was nothing he hadn't seen before. What bothered him was how his soldiers had to be the baits. Especially Y/N, who would be on the frontline. He knew it was asking a lot of her to do this. Except he hadn't asked - she had offered. He didn't know if he should be impressed or shake his head. He only heard the voices after he had reached the room. Listening in carefully, he recognized Y/N's voice instantly, and then - Kit's. Uh-oh. Walking toward the source of the ruckus, he was quickly stopped by Skylen, who had just walked out of the rooms' hallway. "Don't, Poe. Seriously. That's not a fight you want to get involved with." "I just want to-" "She'll be fine. Come on. We left them the room. We're over there. Pipa and Torro and telling us about the plan and Gideon. They'll join us when they're done." Poe sent a look toward the hallway and shook his head. "Fine. But if he does anything-" "He won't. Have you seen the way he looks at her? He wouldn't even break a hair from her head." Poe pursed his lips. Maybe he could learn to get a hint, then, because she wasn't interested. Was she? Oh, Kriff. What if she was and Poe hadn't noticed- "Hah. You should see your face. Funny, Y/N pulled the same one when we told her about Zorii." Poe turned around faster than he should have. "What does that- I don't know what you're talking about. I have a right to be concerned for the health of my pilots, don't I?" "Sure. The fact that Kit is so good-looking and they have history doesn't have anything to do with your level of interest." He groaned. "You know what? Were you saying something about the mission? Let's go and see what it's about. I'm sure they'll be fine. They're grown adults; they can deal with their issues." Skylen was still chuckling as he walked past him.

Wait. Wait- no! That wasn't… that wasn't what she meant! At least, not like THAT! Before she could try and correct herself, he left his spot on the wall and walked away angrily. Y/N practically had to run to catch up to him, but the sharp turn of the hallway wasn't helping. They reached the main room before she could stop him. Y/N was mortified and- Wait. It was empty. Where was anyone? It wasn't her main concern right now. "HEY! You DON'T get to walk away out of THIS argument!" She screamed. This caught his attention. He turned on his feet, eyes sending lightning bolts in her direction. She knew she had to choose her words carefully. So, she tried to center herself, speaking up as calmly as possible, even if the result was mediocre at best. "Kit, that's not-" "Oh, don't you even fucking try to talk yourself out of this one. For years, I tried to convince myself it wasn't that. I should've known." "WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR A SECOND, MAKER FUCKING DAMMIT?!" He blinked, stunned into silence. Y/N rarely cursed. But she was angry. No, scratch that - she was furious. He was right to be pissed at her - but he could scream AFTER she was done explaining her side of the story. "I didn't ask you to come because I didn't want to put you in danger, Kit! Because a life of exile, running from a Sith Lord who has it out for you is HELL! Do you know how many times I moved from the time I left to the day Ren died? Fifty. In two years. I moved FIFTY times. I had half-guessed you were after me. I know HE was. I was on Tatooine, you know. When he raided the planet. I saw those people die because of ME. That's not a life I wanted for you." "You don't GET to make those kinds of calls! Seriously, Y/N? Who the HELL made you think you could decide for me? I wouldn't have cared!" "WELL, I DID!" Something broke behind her. A glass, probably. Maybe someone had dropped it. She didn't turn around to check, and the sound barely registered in her mind. She was angry. And she was tired. Why couldn't Kit just SEE her point? Just listen? Why couldn't he be like Poe- …No. Not now. She shook her head. "There's a difference between deserting and betraying. I didn't just leave. I did worse than that. And I never told you because I didn't know-" "If this is the part where you tell me you were working with the Resistance, you can save your breath," he said, rolling his eyes. …Wait. Kit knew?

Her face must have said it all because he simply shrugged. "You're a good liar, Y/N. But you've never been able to lie to me. I followed you that night. I followed you when you left in the middle of the night to meet with the rebels. Shouldn't have kissed me before you got out of bed; it woke me up. I've known for years. I never said anything because it wasn't my business. You would've told me if you wanted me to know. But who do you think covered for you when Hux found the portable storage unit in one of your uniforms? Who do you think swapped them, huh? Think it was an accident?" She stared at him, dumbfounded. He had known? All this time? "Did- did Kylo…" "Oh, he saw that alright in my head. But since I wasn't entirely sure you weren't doing that because he had asked you to, he didn't kill me for not saying anything." Lucky him. Y/N still shook her head. "It wouldn't have changed anything. I still couldn't risk it." "And I'm telling you it wasn't your damn choice to make." "Oh, well, guess what, I MADE IT! What're you gonna do about it, Kit?!" He clenched his teeth. Oh, how did he like that, the conversation turning on him, huh?! Y/N took another step forward. "Don't go there. Seriously," Kit warned. Any other day, Y/N would have listened. If only to spare her friends from hearing what would inevitably follow: them learning who she really was. Certainly not the kind, caring woman they had learned to know. "Oh, no, go ahead. By ALL MEANS, say what you think. You've ALWAYS prided yourself on honesty. So come on, let me have it." He stared at her for a second too long. He was thinking about it, and Y/N braced herself for whatever was coming. "You're selfish. And you're a traitor, Y/N. And I don't mean you betrayed the Order. I don't give a damn about that. No, you're a traitor to yourself. You betrayed your morals. I always loved how true to yourself you were. Guess that was a lie, too, wasn't it? And that makes you a coward. Because you didn't have the backbone to come clean before you left." He chuckled again. Y/N couldn't speak up. She only stared into his dark eyes, waiting for her sentence. She couldn't look away. "You have no idea how much I regret falling in love with you. Because, dammit, you've always been just like the rest of them."

Wow. Of all the things he could say... he had to go there. A single tear fell down her cheek. "How dare you?" It was barely a whisper, but somehow, it had more impact than any of her screams. Kit was glued to the spot. "Maybe I'm selfish. But I think I earned the right to be, for once in my life. And I'd rather be a traitor than have your death on my conscience. Because yeah, I left. I didn't ask you to come for selfish reasons. It's okay if you hate me for it. At least you're still alive." She took a step back. She had to get out of here. Her eyes fell on a hallway Kit hadn't told them about. She would take her chances with it. "I'm sorry for the pain I caused you, Kit. But I'm not sorry for what I did. And you don't get to say I never cared. I loved you so much." Y/N shook her head and ran out of the room, headed for the hallway to her right. On the way, she saw broken glass. What a good analogy for her heart. If she couldn't fix things with Kit, who had been so accepting of her dark years, what chance did she have to be loved by someone who couldn't understand? He called after her, but she didn't turn around. There was nothing left to say anyway. Next time, she would stay on Kuat.

Poe had had his fair share of arguments - with Zorii, too. She didn't hold back. Never did. But that was something else. The stone around them muffled their voices when they talked at a normal level. Occasionally, one of them would speak louder, and they would hear. When he had heard the glass breaking, Poe had jumped to his feet, and Klana had to physically sit him back down to stop him from barging in here. As for the three bounty hunters, they had shrugged it off. Poe had learned they were all ex-First Order. One of them - Torro - was a pilot. Pipa and the other one (Poe didn't like that one) were both ex-stormtroopers. Around their game of Sabacc, they had talked. About Finn, firstly, since he was THE most infamous deserter. And then about their own experiences. They weren't bad people. If one ignored they had tried to capture them earlier. Even though the discussions were pleasant, Poe couldn't focus. He kept trying to hear bribes of the conversation, no matter how rude that was. And he kept losing his round. Torro was going to steal all of his money. "Maker, good thing you're a better pilot than a Sabacc player because you'd've lost the war," he commented. Skylen cackled, and Poe rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You're just lucky, that's it." A massive crash came from the other room, and all of them perked up. Pipa rose to her feet, gesturing for them to stay still. She tiptoed to the hallway and returned a few seconds later, walking casually. "No blood on the walls, and they're both gone. I'm honestly surprised your friend didn't shoot Kit. I know I would have." "What was that sound?" Klana asked. Yeah. What WAS that sound? Pipa shrugged. "Kit kicked a crate on his way out. That boy has a temper, I'm telling ya. Anyway. We should let him cool off. I'll check up on him later." "Oh, that's a BAD idea. You know how Kit gets. Leave him to shoot some loth cats in the desert. He'll come back." Pipa winced but nodded. "Right… Okay, anyone up for some food? We got rations in the kitchen. Might as well go back to the main room. Your friend's on the balcony, and Kit is outside; they won't mind." They started chatting again happily as they moved to the other room. Poe stood up, but Klana stopped him from following them. He frowned, but she nodded toward Skylen, who was a few meters away. They waited until everyone was gone. Klana turned to the pilot, arms crossed on her chest. She had been strangely quiet all evening; Poe knew she was worried. "You should go check up on her." Who? Him? Wasn't that a womanly thing? Was he even qualified for that? He was NOT exactly good at giving relationship advice. …And his track record regarding his exes wasn't exactly worthy of admiration either. "I'm not sure she wants to see me right now, Klana. You should go." She ROLLED her eyes. At him. The audacity! "You're an idiot, General. I don't think there's anyone she would rather see right now. Beside BeeBee, because he is just too cute and would cheer her up without even trying." Poe groaned. "Okay, seriously, you need to stop fueling his ego. He is enjoying himself way too much. He has gotten cocky." "And you haven't?" He deadpanned, and she snickered. "Okay, okay. Sorry. But seriously, you should go. I'm worried about her. She hasn't been acting like herself lately. I tried talking to her, but..." She shook her head. "Do you know why?" He asked. Klana hesitated. She bit her lip, opened her mouth, but thought better of it. "I'm not sure. But I know Y/N isn't exactly her own biggest fan. She doesn't show it when we're working, but you know how she gets. She has a bad case of impostor syndrome." Yes. Poe did know that. He knew all too well how hard it was to feel under-qualified. It was difficult enough, and he hadn't had to deal with questionable allegiances. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Moments like these, he could feel the weight on his shoulders. It made him feel older than he was. "Please, Poe. You've always been the only one who can get through to her." "That's just not true, Klan." "You know it is. At least when it comes to these things. Y/N values your experience and opinions so much, I've always wondered..." She trailed off but shook her head. "Never mind. You've been through this kind of stuff with Zorii. You'll know what to say." "Yeah, but Zorii was over me when I saw her again." Klana nodded grimly. "You've noticed it too, haven't you? The way he looks at her." Of course, he had. "Like she put the suns in the sky, yeah. I don't like that." The second Poe said it, he knew he had made a mistake. Klana cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really." The smile in her voice was so audible Poe quickly shook his head. "I'm just looking out for her. Which is why I'm going to see her now. Just forget I said anything." Klana was chuckling when he walked out of the room.

Upon entering the main room, he found Skylen and the others sitting on the couch. Pipa was by one of the hallways, looking at a broken glass on the floor with great confusion. "Hey, where's the balcony you mentioned?" Poe asked. She nodded toward her right side. "End of the hallway. It goes up a bit, so don't trip." He thanked her and bowed his head as he followed after Y/N. The damn thing was a maze, with twists and turns at every corner. It took him far longer than it should have to make it outside. Surely, it must have been designed for safety reasons, but Poe was dizzy when he finally stepped out, breathing in the fresh air. It had gotten darker as the suns set, but it wasn't quite nighttime yet. What they called a balcony was another promontory, smaller than the other one. It overhung the canyon's entrance, offering a nice view of the desert and the bottom of the mountains. Like shiny droids, the speeders reflected the light.

Poe quickly noticed her, back turned towards him, legs dangling against the stone. The suns shone as they set, painting the planet's surface with bright orange hues. Y/N's silhouette clashed against the background, black outlines creating a stark contrast with the blinding landscape. He cleared his throat to announce his arrival, but she didn't turn around. She didn't tell him to go away either, so he took it as an invitation to join her. He sat by her on the edge, staying silent, hazel eyes taking in the scenery. It was something out of a postcard; an endless desert, Mos Eisley in the distance, the two suns setting on Tatooine. Beautiful, really. The pilot risked a glance toward his companion and found a small smile tugging at her lips as she gazed at the planet that had been her home for a bit, all those years ago. But even though her face was peaceful, her eyes were full of… he didn't know. Confusion? Guilt? Anger? It didn't take a genius to figure out that running into one of her ex-teammates —again— wasn't doing wonders for her mental health. Especially one she had a history with. Poe wasn't so sure what he thought of that. He wasn't even sure he was supposed to think anything of it. That wasn't his place. After a few more moments of peaceful yet awkward silence, the General turned to his pilot and noticed her tensing up slightly.

"Sooo… Wanna talk about it?" He asked nonchalantly, turning his eyes back on the desert. Y/N's head snapped toward him, and her eyes hardened. Was he serious right now? He had gone looking for her so he could interrogate her? Before she could even talk some sense into herself — after all, Poe was not the kind of man to be nosy just for the sake of it — she answered through gritted teeth, annoyance seeping in her tone like a venomous snake: "Really?"

She rolled her eyes at him and crossed her arms out of sheer awkwardness. Truth be told, the discussion itself wasn't a touchy subject. What was, however, was its content. Kit was right: she had abandoned her friends. She had never even thought about how they would feel, assuming none of them cared. She had been wrong. Now, the events that led to and followed her desertion played in her head again and again, like a broken hologram. Poe held his hands up in surrender. He had hit a nerve. "It's okay; you don't have to if you don't want to. Just felt like you could want to talk about it. I mean, from where I stand, it's a mess, so I can't imagine what you're going through. Pipa is right; that guy has a temper. No wonder you two hit it off, huh?" He added with a smile. His attempt at a joke only earned him another huff, but it was a small one. Y/N's shoulders relaxed a bit and she let out a heavy sigh. "Rude. But true. Sorry for snapping at you; it's just... been a day." Poe chuckled slightly. "It's okay. I know." They fell silent for a moment, and Y/N kept her eyes on the desert. She didn't like the planet, but it was still beautiful. The Galaxy had so many gems to share - this was one of the things she enjoyed the most about being a pilot. She got to see them all. "How are YOU doing, Poe?" She asked quietly. He shrugged her comment off. "I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle." This time, Y/N frowned. Pursing her lips, she gave him a knowing look. "I know you can handle it. You just don't have to do it alone. We're friends. If you need something, I'm here for you." He shot her one of his infamous smirks. "Aren't you adorable? I know. I appreciate it. But I didn't come here to talk about me, and you won't avoid the subject forever."

She groaned, and he chuckled. But to be fair, she was avoiding it precisely because she didn't know what to tell him. It made her uncomfortable. She wasn't used to sharing her problems. Poe sensed her state of distress - somehow, he always did. He was very observant, at least, most of the time, and he had easily picked up how unsettled she was. She assumed it was the exact reason he was there with her in the first place. "The same goes for you, you know. You can talk to me. You don't have to, but you can. If it's important to you, then it's important to me." Y/N sighed and turned to him, lifting her legs off the edge and sitting cross-legged, facing Poe. Half of his face was glowing, lit up by the setting stars. Y/N found that view to be very beautiful. He followed her example and crossed his legs, sitting face to face with her. "I never told you why I left, did I?"

She hadn't, and he had never asked either. Poe didn't answer. She wasn't sure how much he had heard, so she made herself comfortable and started from the beginning, barely taking a moment to note Poe had a talent for getting her to speak. "I told him I couldn't stay anymore. It's true. It was mostly because of what I was doing, but... that's not the only reason. Something happened that pushed me to leave. Kit will never talk about it because he is still furious it happened. And he will always blame himself because the day it happened, we had gotten into a fight." And for his silence on the matter, she was grateful. Poe, too, stayed silent. He was listening intently as if she were telling the most interesting story. Y/N didn't find her life so worthy of interest, but she appreciated it nonetheless. Poe squeezed her knee to tell her to take her time. And that he was there for her. Y/N smiled faintly. The warmth of his hand against her clothed skin felt somehow hotter than the scorching, setting suns in the sky. She still wasn't used to non-violent human contact, and the tiniest touch she received, especially from Poe, would always elicit an immediate response from her body. It varied greatly, from a simple blush on her cheeks to, like this time, electricity running through her body as she deliciously shivered.

The sudden contact had taken her out of her story for a second. She took a moment to collect herself and used it to look at Poe, shyly meeting his eyes. He wasn't smiling, but his eyes were focused on her with so much interest she felt ill at ease. His sun-kissed skin was basking in the red glow of the Tatooinian dusk. It was becoming darker around them, but he caught the light. That was a beautiful metaphor because Poe was a beacon of light in the night. There wasn't a single ounce of judgment in his hazel eyes. This gave Y/N the strength she needed to go on. With a soft breath, she started talking again. "As an officer, I had certain duties, obviously. But after a couple of years, Ren started asking more of me. He gave me responsibilities I didn't have before. I think he wanted to make me a Major. I'd been Captain for years at this point... anyway. I led a mission that day, and we returned with a win under our belts. Didn't lose anyone; the mission was a success. Except for one thing: one of the lieutenants under my orders had screwed up. Ignored the orders and almost cost us the mission. I had to report it to Ren, and he was pissed. I was pretty sure he would kill him, but instead, he asked me to choose a punishment. Now, I knew Kylo. If I'd let him off with just a warning, he would have ignored my choice and done something worse. So I decided to demote the guy. Which was fair, honestly. But he disagreed." She let out a humorless laugh. That was... an understatement. She fidgeted with the sleeve of her jacket and sighed. How stupid it was to know that everything had started because of that one thing. Poe started massaging her knee absentmindedly. She noticed but didn't say anything. It was a minute gesture, but such a welcomed one considering what she was about to tell him. Y/N tensed up involuntarily. "The following evening, I was walking around in the star destroyer. I was returning from a briefing, and it was very late at night. Usually, I had someone with me, often Ren. Not that night. I should have been with Kit. But we fought that morning, so I didn't want him in my quarters because he hadn't apologized. He blames himself so much for that." When it wasn't his fault. It was nobody's fault. "Regardless, they... they knew I'd be alone." She said in a whisper. It was good they were standing so close to each other, or he wouldn't have heard her.

****************

The woman took a second to collect herself. She hadn't talked to anyone about what had happened. Her mouth felt dry, and the memories were fresh in her mind. As if it had happened a day before. It had been years, but she painstakingly remembered everything. She wasn't sure whether she was distraught that her mind hadn't decided to forget about it as it often was with traumatic events or was proud that she hadn't forgotten but still managed to live with it. So she turned on the autopilot in her mind and spoke up again. "Three troopers cornered me. I fought them off, but one of them tased me. I was sure they were going to kill me. Instead, they pinned me down to the ground and tied me up. One hit me in the head, and I couldn't move anymore. I was losing blood. A lot of blood. And then, they... Kriff." She interrupted herself and cursed, shaking her head. She could feel their hands on her. Feel the soft bite of the blade as it has accidentally cut through her skin along with her uniform. "They ripped my uniform apart. The last thing I remember was seeing one taking off his pants."

*************

"I don't know what they did to me exactly," Y/N went on, lost in her head as the memories of those days returned to her. "All I know is what the medic told me. I only remember waking up in the arms of a trooper screaming at me to stay awake. I passed out again." The trooper she had met the day she had been appointed Captain. A nice man. Far too considerate for the First Order, but he was devoted to the cause. Maker knew what had happened to him. She hoped he had, somehow, escaped. "I woke up days later in the medical ward, plugged into a machine and a bacta drip. I was alone, but I remember hearing voices in my sleep. They later told me I had someone by my side almost at all times." She smiled faintly. Kit had been there for her, and for that, she was grateful. "They weren't sure I was going to make it. The medic told me I lost a lot of blood because they slashed my thighs with a vibroblade. I still have some marks. You saw them when you patched me up the other day." An eternal reminder of what had happened. Etched in her very soul, as well as in her flesh. Y/N shuddered.

"Apparently, the trooper had scared them off before anything serious happened. I'll never know what they really wanted. Maybe it's better this way. What I do know is that Ren was furious. Kit told me he was the one to inform him, and he lost it. Trashed a whole room with his lightsaber and put the ship on high alert. And that's when things started to get ugly." That had been the turning point. Not the attack in itself - it wasn't the first time Y/N had been aggressed. But what had followed. "He started an investigation. I was resting in my quarters, and every day, when Kit came to sleep, he told me about it. Apparently, they had analyzed the blood left on the scene and were testing everyone. He wanted to find them so bad. And he had Kit reporting to him about how I was doing."

For a man who was so cruel and heartless, he had cared a significant amount about her recovery. Of course, Y/N wasn't stupid; he must have wanted to ensure he hadn't trained someone for nothing. She was an asset to him, one that could be replaced, yes, but whose replacement would take an annoyingly long time. This had been the first red flag. He didn't care. He never would. And who would, really? "I was four days in recovery when I realized Kit had stopped giving me details. He tried to keep me busy and avoided my questions. Smartly, might I add, but that man can't lie to me to save his life. I asked and asked and asked until he told me Ren had asked him not to say anything. And that was a red flag." She sighed deeply. She knew Kit just wanted to protect her. But if she had known... maybe she could have done something. "A week after the attack, I was cleared by the medics. I went to work, but Ren asked to see me. Called me to a meeting room. When I got there, I..." She closed her eyes. She remembered every little detail. The blood on the floor, on the clothes.

Poe squeezed her hand this time. She looked up at him. "It's okay." That was it: two words that meant the world. Poe was there to listen, regardless of how much time she needed. Y/N glanced at their joined hands. They fitted together strangely well. "Ren was there, with Hux. And Kit. And in front of me when I walked in, three men. Stormtroopers in their undershirts, unmasked. And, Maker. They were covered in blood. I could barely see their faces under the cuts, bruises, and blood everywhere. I just... didn't understand. And then, Ren, he... he told me they were the guys who had attacked me. Hux told me they had been captured a couple of days earlier. And they'd been tortured until Ren was satisfied with what they had told him. That they wanted to make me pay, that I was an outsider who had no business giving orders. And... Hux sentenced them to death. He asked me to carry the sentence."

Oh, she had been on the giving end of many death penalties. But none of them had been in cold blood. None. That was a line she couldn't cross. Every life she had taken had been out of need. For self-defense, in a battle. "And you know, I was staring at them, telling myself they had assaulted me and would have killed me if they could, but I just couldn't do it. So I told him. And he didn't give me the chance to explain myself; he ignited his lightsaber and beheaded the three of them meticulously. It was over in a split second. No trial, nothing. Just... violence. And that night, when I talked to Kit about it, he said... 'I only regret not killing them myself.'" And she understood. Perhaps, if the roles had been reversed, Y/N would have felt the same. Maybe she would have nourished the same hatred. But... she hadn't. She couldn't. "That's when I knew," she went on. "I would never be like them. And I couldn't stay there. They valued my life and integrity more than others because, what, I was an officer? I was useful to them in ways those three couldn't? I knew that before, and I'd chosen to ignore it, but seeing this... people being killed in my name. I couldn't. So that night, I went back to my quarters, recorded the hologram, and left it. I left the morning after without saying goodbye. It wasn't planned, but it was the right decision. Or at least I thought it was. I'm not too sure anymore. I guess I was just running away from my problems."

She expected Poe to stay silent, to take a moment to digest what she had told him. After all, she had betrayed her friends because she couldn't suck it up. She had never been bothered by Ren's cruelty before. But to her surprise, Poe shook his head. "Hey, hey. Don't do that to yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself, Keebler. It takes strength to leave everything behind and start a new life. It's not a coward's move. You could have chosen the easy path and turned a blind eye to Ren's actions because he wasn't cruel to you. Instead, you made the right choice. For you, for the Resistance. If you hadn't left, you would have died with them, and we wouldn't have you on the team now. You wouldn't have met Skylen, Klana, Finn, or me, of course, and that would have been tragic. Or BeeBee. And I'm telling you, this droid is a gift and is enough of a reason on his own to prove that it was the right decision." Y/N laughed slightly at that. BB-8 was a sweetheart; that much was true. And Poe was right. She knew he was. She had to leave for her sake, it was the right thing to do, but it didn't mean it had been easy. It would take a while for those wounds to close, but they eventually would. One day, with the help of the people she could call her friends. She smiled softly. "You're right." "Yeah, I usually am." He retorted. Her blue eyes met his brown ones, and she rolled them so far back she was sure she saw stars. "Annnnd you just ruined the moment. You're impossible, Porg Head." Poe laughed at the nickname, as usual, and gave her one of his signature smirks as an answer. "Don't you forget it." She turned to the desert again. The suns were nearly set. It would soon be time to get back. Y/N didn't want to. She wasn't sure she could face Kit. So, to buy herself some time, and because she wanted to, she blurted out: "Tell me something about you." Poe stared at her, puzzled, brows furrowed, for a moment. And then: "What?" "Well. All we've talked about lately is me. And it makes me uncomfortable. But it's not just that, I just... I'd like to know more about you? It doesn't have to be that deep, it's just, I mean, we work together, but I never really asked, and now I realized that sucks because-" "Y/N. Rambling." "Sorry." He laughed, leaning back on his elbows. "Alright, alright. I mean, you pretty much know everything interesting at this point. I was born on Yavin IV. Both of my parents were in the Resistance. I'm an only child. I was terrible growing up." "Was?" He hit her knee playfully, and she cackled. "As I was saying! I was a real demon. One time, I was playing outside, and my parents had this sensitive tree Skywalker gifted them. It's still there. Anyway. I was, what, six? Decided to climb it for whatever stupid reason. Broke both my arms when I inevitably fell. My mom was pissed. But my dad... he drew the moons on my cast. Told me there were better ways to reach the stars. Once I was healed, he took me flying." Y/N smiled warmly. This was adorable. She could picture it; baby Poe with his dad in the cockpit of an X-Wing. His tiny hands were too small for the lever. The big helmet on his head. "Wherever they are now, they must be so proud of you," she found herself saying. Poe rubbed his neck awkwardly. "I don't know. I'd like to think they would, yeah." She turned to him fully and looked him dead in the eyes. "I'm sure they are. I know I am." This seemed to catch him by surprise. He blinked a few times. Wow. Was Poe embarrassed? That had happened twice in the past few- ...oh, no. She had done a stellar job not thinking about the fact she had kissed him. And he hadn't brought it up either. But... now wasn't the time. "I... thanks, Y/N."

Merely a few seconds later, Skylen called for them from the tunnel behind them. With one last look at the desert, they walked back to the main room. Y/N slowed down when they got closer, and Poe's hand landed on her back, calming, soft, and so warm. "I'm right here with you." That was all she needed. He didn't take it away when they walked in, drawing attention from everyone in the room- Including Kit. He was sitting on the couch next to Pipa, and he froze in the middle of his sentence when they walked in, eyes burning a hole in hers, before they went lower, looking at what she assumed was Poe's arm behind her. Whose hand was rubbing circles against her back. He wasn't angry anymore. Quite the opposite. If anything, he was embarrassed. Y/N assumed her expression mimicked his. It took her longer than she would care to admit to realize they were playing Sabacc together with Klana and Skylen. The two pilots were making a point of minding their own business, though.

After a few awkward seconds, Kit stood up, running a hand through his hair. "Ehrm... a word?" Steady but kind was his voice. Y/N gave him a sharp nod, sneaked a glance at Poe, and followed Kit toward the door, disappearing out of view in the small hallway that led to the exit. Strangely enough, the hand on her back was sorely missed. Once the two of them were as far as possible from the busy room, he turned to her and wasted no time blurring out: "I'm an asshole, and I'm very sorry." ...that was unexpected. She didn't say anything, though. Mostly because she was waiting for Kit to be done so she could apologize, too. He took a deep breath. "Y/N, I've known you for years, and you are nothing like them. You've never been. And you're nothing like me, either. I always knew you wouldn't stay. And it was selfish to think I could ask you to give up on who you are, even for a short time. I know you made the right choice for yourself, and I'm proud of you. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm not trying to make excuses, just... Kriff. I'm sorry about everything. And most of all, I'm sorry for never realizing that I wasn't giving you what you really needed. I should have..." He shook his head and looked away. "You deserved better than the Order. I should've seen that. I don't blame you for leaving. You deserve to be happy." Before he could get another word out, Y/N took a step forward, then two, and hugged him tightly. She knew he reacted best to actions rather than words. That was still true. "You made me happy for years, Kit. Never doubt that. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have left as I did. I reacted poorly and selfishly, and I just... you deserved- deserve better." He squeezed her in his arms and patted her back gently. It was... nice. Familiar, even. But something was amiss. ...Citrus? "Okay, if you two aren't dead yet, do you wanna be dealt in or- ooh Kriff. I'm interrupting." Y/N jumped backward in surprise, and Kit let go of her instantly as they both stared at Skylen, whose face was a mix of surprise and amusement. "Do you need the room, or...?" They tried to say something, cut the other off, stopped, and finally gave up. "Yes, please, deal us in. Also, shut up."

He was cackling as they walked back to the room. The atmosphere was more relaxed, and the tension was gone. It had always been like this: they fought hard for a long time but always made up quickly. Years had been kind to their dynamic. Klana dealt the cards, and everyone sat around the table. It was a tight fit, and they had to squeeze together to all fit around. Their hosts had switched seats, leaving the couch to them. And, of course, Y/N ended up sitting right next to Poe. As in right against his left side. She made sure not to look him in the eyes as she fidgeted uncomfortably. There had been too many awkward moments for the day. But his hand found its way back to its earlier spot. "You okay?" He whispered as Klana finished her rounds. She nodded with a soft smile. "Yeah. We're good." "Are you sure you wanna be dealt in, Dameron?" Pipa piped up. "You're not tired of losing yet?" Hunters and pilots alike snickered as Y/N turned to him, confused. "Wait, what? You're the best Sabacc player I know!" He shrugged dismissively, and she sensed he was embarrassed. "Yeah, well. I was distracted." "Too bad for you," Kit chimed in with a smirk. Y/N rolled her eyes at him. "Oh, drop that cocky look, would you? I know how you play. We're gonna wipe the floor with you." Pipa huffed. "Really? You showed her all your tricks?" Kit shrugged apologetically. "Hey. Three years. She had time to see me play. But I'll take the bet, Princess. Come on. Let's get started!" She felt Poe's leg tensing up against hers. Wow. He took Sabacc very seriously!

The eight of them engaged in furious games, cards going from hands to hands, followed by credits. Kit was as good as ever and played a vicious game, but Y/N was determined to win back Poe's money. They were playing together, huddled on the couch, whispering conspiringly. Her competitive spirit had erased her previous wariness to stand so close to him. Thankfully so, because they really were close. Poe's hand seemed to have found a nesting place on her back as he put it there to get her attention subtly before whispering his plans to her. And then, they started to win. One game, at first, but it was enough to wipe the smirk off Kit's face for a second. He squinted at both pilots, and Y/N merely smiled innocently. He groaned. "That's beginner's luck," he scoffed. She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Aw. Getting butthurt already? But we're merely getting started, Kit." He glared at her, but it was playful. "Watch out, sweetheart. You don't have a good history with getting cocky." "Oh, I remember wiping the floor with you countless times."

And that, she did. The second round was for them, then the next one. As Y/N grabbed the credits on the table, she grinned at Kit, who was anything but happy. He grumbled, and Y/N laughed. "What, Loth Cat got your tongue?" When she came back to lean against the couch, Poe put his arm on the back and rested his hand on her shoulder as he subtly called for her attention. Pipa and Kit were bickering, and he grabbed the opportunity to whisper in Y/N's ear: "You sure provoking him is the right move here?" She turned to him, finding his face closer than anticipated. She grinned. "Oh, trust me. He gets super rattled whenever I tease him. I've got this in the bag."

She did. Torro turned out to be a vicious player. He had her lose her round several times. But Y/N didn't mind - they were having fun. At this point, she was leaning against Poe without a care in the world, drawing attention from Kit and Skylen. Of course, the latter was merely interested in teasing her. But Kit… Well. Not so much. Y/N was grateful for Poe's hand, which seemed to have found a permanent place on her leg. It grounded her. She had, after all, a game to win! But it turned out the last game was out of her hands. With a smart move, Pipa had made her lose the round before she was eliminated by Poe. Said pilot was now engaged in a death match with none other than Kit. Cards hit the table as Klana monitored the game, counting points. Y/N watched intently, elbows resting on her knees and her head on her hands. It seemed like the room was empty to them, save for the other and the cards. Then, she saw it. Kit's tick. He was bluffing! As he leaned back to grab some water, Y/N got closer to Poe, whispering in his ear while barely moving her lips: "He's bluffing." She pulled back before Kit noticed, but he eyed her suspiciously nonetheless. Poe didn't say anything. He showed no sign of acknowledgment that he had even heard her, and for a second, Y/N worried he hadn't. But then... He smiled, his left hand brushing against Y/N's leg. He squeezed it swiftly before leaning forward. "I don't think your hand's that good. I'll go all in." Kit remained impassible for a moment. Oh, no. Had she been wrong? Could it be- "I hate you," he said pointedly, groaning as he revealed his cards. Y/N squealed. "I KNEW IT!" Poe raised his hand, and they high-fived and laughed. Even Kit was smiling. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You're a cheater, Y/N." She stuck out her tongue and stood up, excusing herself to the shower. Kit cleaned up the table, and they all started to get ready for bed. They had a long day ahead of them.

The fresher was a sonic, and Y/N emerged feeling barely cleaner than she had been when she had entered it. She couldn't wait to go back to Kuat and take a real shower. The vibrations couldn't hold a candle to the real deal. Still, she was grateful for the amenities they were provided with. And the time she had spent alone had given her the chance to think about the day's events. Rather, one event in particular. Y/N couldn't get the kiss out of her head. She needed to think about something else because she would surely go crazy otherwise. Whenever she squeezed her eyes shut and focused enough, she felt the lingering touch of Poe's lips. Why she was obsessed like that was a mystery that wasn't welcome. Once she returned to the main room, trying hard to get the images out of her head, she found them all talking. She overheard Kit speaking about standing watch. "I can take the first shift, no problem," she butted in. They turned to her. "No offense, Y/N, but the whole mission relies on you being alert tomorrow. We'll cover for ya. You focus on getting some rest." She blinked at Pippa. She did not like that. Plus, she could handle herself, thank you very much. But her argument seemed to find support from Poe as he nodded. "She's right. Get some sleep. I'll take your shift with Kit." ...Oh no. That was bound to go south. It was obvious they didn't get along very well. As the two groups started talking about who would stand watch and when, Y/N walked up to Poe, gently grabbing his wrist to get his attention. He hummed encouragingly. "You sure that's a good idea?" She whispered. He shrugged. "I'd rather stand watch with him than have you alone with him." Wait, what? What was that supposed to-? "I mean... in case you two bicker again. It's the last thing you need before tomorrow," Poe added quietly. Ah, yes. A fair point. Y/N still squinted. "If you're sure. Just... try to be nice." He raised an eyebrow in her direction. "I'll tell him off if he-" "Poe." He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. But I'm not making any promise if Kit says something out of line about you." "I appreciate you being my knight in shining armor and all, but that won't be necessary." He grumbled something but agreed nonetheless. And soon enough, it was time for them to head out. Y/N watched the two men walk out side by side, a pit forming in her stomach. Somehow, knowing they were alone outside worried her. But she had to get to bed anyway. Klana led her to the tiny room they would share and laid down on the thin mattress. In the darkness of the room, and despite the lack of comfort, she found herself drifting off to sleep, exhausted by the day she'd had. The last thought she had before passing out was one of a pair of lips... and its taste she had enjoyed way too much. She was in trouble.

Nights in the desert were colder than Poe had anticipated. Good thing he was a living heater - but he was impressed Kit wasn't showing even the slightest hint of discomfort. He was either a very good actor or just not bothered at all. His helmet was resting by his side, and he was leaning against a big rock, one leg bent and his rifle resting on his thigh. Trained eyes watch dutifully over the desert. That route was the only one intruders could use to get there - if someone approached, they'd see them. Both men were silent, which wasn't an issue for Poe. He had nothing to say to him anyway. Sure, he could have asked him questions about their time together in the Order because he was curious; that much was true. But he wasn't sure he would like the answers he got. Hell, he wasn't sure how he felt about everything he had learned earlier that day. There was so much history between these two. Poe wasn't sure anything could compare. With a sigh, he turned to the night sky. Despite what Y/N had said, it was a beautiful place. The three "moons" lit up the entire horizon, as there was no cloud or anything else to block the view. The desert had turned into an infinite sea of darkness. The faint lights of Mos Eisley shone in the distance. It was no Yavin IV, but it wasn't too bad. And more than anything else, it was Y/N's "home" planet. Poe liked learning about her: she was a mystery to everyone, including herself. Any detail was welcome. "Can I ask you somethin'?" Kit suddenly asked, breaking the silence between them. He had spoken quietly, eyes still fixated on the desert in front of them. Poe gave him a nod. He wondered what they even had to say to each other. Sure, they had some common points. Maybe more than he cared to admit. "How's she? As a pilot?" Poe almost asked "who" out of habit but realized that —of course— he was talking about Y/N. And he was very tempted to tell him it was none of his damn business. The fact that he was interested in her years later pissed him off. …But Y/N had asked him to play nice, and he understood his curiosity anyway. He shared it.

"A royal pain in my ass, honestly." Kit frowned but saw that Poe was smiling, so he laughed. "Why am I not surprised." "Don't get me wrong. Y/N's an incredible pilot. Smart as a whip. But, Maker, she'll give me a heart attack one day. I thought I was reckless, but I've reevaluated that." Kit laughed again, throwing his head back in genuine hilarity. "Hah! I'm glad to hear that. We've argued about it countless times. Which one of us was the worst? I always, ALWAYS told her she was winning by a landslide. She always denied it." Leaning forward in confidence, he continued. "There was one time. We were out on a mission. Ren wanted us to show off to scare some random guy off. An ex-Senator who was playing hard to get. Anyway. The day before our flight, Hux and her had gotten into an argument. You know, he liked her alright, but sometimes, he was pissed at Ren, and since the bastard could Force-choke the heck outta him, he took it out on Y/N. Told her there was no way someone like her could scare them enough. She kinda took it personally." Uh, oh. Poe grimaced, and Kit snickered. "You're right to be worried. We had to fly low and slow in the capital, get close enough to the palace, and land in their private spaceport unannounced. Ren told us to not screw it up. Well, turns out the guy was having a party in his garden. We arrived on-site, and Y/N saw it. I've known her long enough to know she has somethin' in mind when she gets all quiet and then tells you just ONE thing. So she turned to my frequency and told me: 'Kit, you're gonna have to take my place.' So I was hella worried. Where the heck was she going?" Poe was already laughing. Somehow, he knew that whatever he imagined wouldn't even come close to what she had done. "So we get above the palace," he explained, moving his hand flat above his other one and mimicking the whole operation. "Shaking it real good. And that one? Instead of flying to the spaceport? She landed in the Kriffin' garden. Flew between the two sides of the building and landed on the damn lawn with her cockpit, like, a meter away from the dude's buffet. She got out, slid off the eyeball of the ship, landed on the DAMN TABLE, and got herself a drink. I asked her what she told them, and she's always said something like: 'The First Order will join you for dinner.' When Ren walked in, they handed him control of the planet, no questions asked. The guys told me ya don't land a TIE like that and fly away in one piece." Oh, yeah, that, Poe was willing to believe. He laughed, picturing the face of the poor Senator who had seen his party crashed by the leader of the 204th landing in his garden. And merely out of spite. "Wanna know the best part? She snagged a bottle of booze from the buffet and gave it to Hux when we returned to the Finalizer. Told him to drink to her failure and walked away. I've NEVER seen him so embarrassed. Never said anythin' bad to her after that" Kit laughed at the memory, and Poe joined him in his hilarity. He would have paid good credits to see Hux's face.

Their laughter died down, and silence replaced them. After a few moments, Poe asked: "How was she? As your Captain?" "She was the freakin' best of us all; that's what she was," Kit answered without missing a beat. He sighed and settled against the rock again, thinking about it before going on. "Been flying my whole damn life. I've served a whole lotta people. Skilled pilots. Kriffin' good ones who could give Solo a run for his credits. Half of them were assholes, and it got'em killed. You don't get cocky and walk out of the job alive. She was the most talented officer I've ever had the pleasure of working for. Unbiased and forgiving when she needed to. I'd been in the 204th since it had been reinstalled by Snoke. When our old Captain died, I took the lead for a while. Knew I wouldn't get the rank; Hux was pissed at me. Was hoping one of my guys would get it. Good pilots, decent leaders. And then, Ren walked in and introduced us to our new Captain. A woman we'd never seen in our life, who was fresh outta the recruitment center. Had been in the ranks for a coupla weeks at most and was gonna lead the best damn unit in the Order. I was sure Ren had finally lost his mind." Understandable. Poe was pretty sure he would've reacted the same way. Kit smiled fondly. "I was a real ass to her. Called her Princess and everything. She just ignored me. Told us she hadn't asked for that, but if we had an issue with Ren's decision, we could always talk it up to him, but she wasn't looking forward to finding a replacement that soon in her career. Asked us to give her a chance, just one." She always needed only one chance anyway. Poe remembered the fly-off against Tarsen. Or her practice run. Neither she nor he knew for how long she had been a pilot, but that kind of skill was the fruit of long hours of training. The guys in her unit didn't stand a CHANCE against that… and her tendency to throw caution to the wind whenever someone insulted her honor. "She blew it outta the water, as you'd expect. Best damn run we'd had in a long time. When we returned from our first mission together, she landed her ship next to mine, dropped down, smirked at me, flipped her hair, and told me she'd see me the next day. Man, she had me hook, line and sinker by the time she'd reached the door. Later told me she was shaking like a leaf when we'd taken off."

Poe chuckled. He felt strangely proud of her, knowing she had put a bunch of sexist bucketheads in their place. But his smile faltered when he saw the look on Kit's face as he remembered. That man was not over her; he was sure of it. And he didn't like it. "Well, when she got to Kuat, she did something like that, too." He went on to tell him about her defying Tarsen on her first day. Her kicking his ass weeks later, and Kit smirked proudly. Y/N might have been soft and gentle, but she was a real firecracker when she needed to be. Poe liked that about her. Nobody else had pushed back as much as she had. His face grew more somber as he thought about his next question, and he bit his lip. "Was she always so… reckless?" Kit stayed silent for a moment, toying with some part of his riffle to keep his hands busy and kicking at the sand mindlessly with the top of his boot. He ran the right one in his beard, much like Skylen did when he was pensive. "Hux used to say something about her. That she had a singular force of will." Poe frowned. That- wasn't an insult. "What did he mean by that?" "That she's a suicidal idiot who never ever gives up." That sounded familiar. The bounty hunter sighed. The subject appeared to hit a little too close to home. That, Poe could understand. The number of times he had been furious at her for risking her life uselessly — like during the dogfight against her ex-pilot — was growing, and he didn't like that. "Listen, Dameron. There are many things I love about her. She's smart, she's sassy, she's strong and stunning as heck. But, Maker, she has no respect for her own life and doesn't care about herself. I'd hoped I could change that. I was wrong. And when I realized she's Resistance now, I had hope. But you telling me this - it tells me she hasn't changed one bit. I blame Ren for that. That bastard turned her into a damn weapon." Poe didn't say anything; he didn't need to. Kit knew. He sighed sadly, shaking his head. Poe could feel he was tired. He had also noticed he hadn't used past tense in his first statement. He KNEW it. He knew he was still in love with her.

Kit ran a frustrated hand through his locks. Years of trying to get through to her had made him exasperated. Poe wasn't there yet and was praying he would never be. Because that would mean he had failed. Or she was dead. And that wasn't an acceptable outcome. "Can I give you a piece of advice?" Kit asked, looking up. There was a mix of- sadness? And determination in his brown eyes. Poe nodded. Kit licked his lips and stayed silent for a moment longer. Perhaps he wasn't too sure he should speak up. But he had already started, and he had to finish his speech. "I've seen how she looks at you. The three of you, but you especially. There'll come a time when she'll put you all in danger for whatever reason. It happens in our line of work. And you know how she is. She'll try to distance herself. And she'll leave. She'll disappear and never come back to protect y'all." Poe's stomach dropped. No. She wouldn't do that, would she? She wouldn't abandon them out of the blue. Not like that. Not- But the way Kit looked at him, he knew he was right. And the ex-soldier knew better than Poe did. He had seen it. He had lived it. Kit put the rifle in the sand and stood up, leaning in Poe's direction. His face was unreadable, but his eyes… were full of… something. "Don't you fucking dare letting her go, Dameron."

Poe held his gaze. He knew he was asking him something he hadn't voiced. His request — no, order — went beyond what they had talked about. He also knew it was a test, somehow. It was always a test. But he nodded anyway. "I won't." Kit leaned back with a grunt, satisfied. He grabbed the rifle and threw it on his back. Poe watched him stand up. Whatever this talk meant to him, it wasn't easy to let go of it. Without another word, he started walking down the path that led to the desert. After a few steps, he stopped, hesitating. He turned slightly toward Poe. "Dameron?" "Yeah?" "If you break her heart, I fucking swear to all that is holy, there won't be a place in the Galaxy where I won't find you." And with that, he walked away and didn't look back. Poe closed his eyes and leaned against the cave's rocks, letting out a long sigh. If only Leia were still here.

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron reader insert #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars reader insert #female reader

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nygmcbblepot · 2 years

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Chapter Seven-

A/N: Hi! I'm going to be posting a new chapter every other day! I couldn't find many post burn chilton gifs so I just didn't do any photos or gifs </3

Heres chapter seven of Frederick Chilton x FEM! reader

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“Are you crazy? You’re going to not just use Hannibal as bait but KILL HIM? After everything, I want him dead but isn’t that a bit extreme? How do you think you’re going to do that after everybody that he killed?” You sit down in Alanas office, cupping your face.

“Frederick needs grafts, doesn’t he? He expressed to me that he would love to count Hannibal among his donors. Will Graham is in with Hannibal now persuading him to help us because we told him it would also benefit himself.”

You sigh.“Frederick has surgery at three,” You look at your phone. “I have two hours until I have to go. If Hannibal agrees, i’ll help Will with Hannibal. If he doesn’t agree on the deal, i’m leaving early.”

Will comes into Alana’s office.

“He’s agreed. Y/N, can you walk to the FBI vehicle with me?”

You look up at Alana to make sure she’s okay with it, “You can go. Just please come back when you’re done so we can finish this conversation off.”

…

You start walking with Will to the vehicle that they were using to transfer Hannibal to police custody.

“Will, please promise me you’re going to be safe. I know that we haven’t always gotten along but I still want you being safe.”

“I promise. With Francis still on the loose, Please promise me that you will be safe. Don’t get yourself killed, Y/N.”

“Same with you. Thank you.”

You both stand there until you feel his arms wrapping around you. After all of the years of being friends with Will, you never thought in a million years he would ever hug anybody. You gave him a hug back, trying to not to cry. You two were pretty close and didn’t know what you would do if anything happened to him. You and Will had been best friends since childhood but as you got older, started having small arguments that got bigger. It to the point where you both took breaks from each other. One break that lasted until you got your job now, and saw him at Baltimore State Hospital. You forgave each other when he was admitted and you and Frederick were both his doctors.

“Thank you, Will. I love you,” You said with tears streaming from your face.

“Love you too.” Will removed himself from you and got in the FBI vehicle, leaving with Hannibal. Your phone kept getting calls from the same number so you decided to silence your phone and continue working.

You walk back into Alana’s office and sit in the chair across from the desk.

“I’m sorry. As you were saying?” You took a tissue off of her desk and wiped your teary eyes.

“I just wanted to tell you good luck and be safe. I hope that Frederick recovers well from his injuries.”

“Thank you. Is there any reason you’re saying this to me?”

Alana sighs, “Margot, my son , and I are leaving. I can’t say where we’re going but we’re not coming back.”

“Oh. Well, I hope you and your family have a safe trip there and start a really good life somewhere else.”

“Thank you. It was a pleasure working with you,” Alana says and shakes your hand.

“If i’m allowed to ask, when are you leaving?”

“Today, actually. As a matter of fact, we’re leaving as soon as we’re done here.”

Alana starts walking towards the door, “Goodbye, Y/N.”

You hear the door shut. That was it. That was the last time you were going to see Alana. You didn’t really like Alana but yet you were upset to see her leave. When you checked the clock on the wall, you had one hour until the surgery. You decided to just leave then to stay and hang out with him before the surgery.

…

When you arrived at the hospital, you checked you phone and noticed one more missed call from the number since you’ve silenced your phone. You also noticed that there had a voicemail. So you decided that before you went in, you were going to listen to the voicemail. What’s the worst it could be? If it was Francis Dolarhyde, you have the FBI for that. You then hit play on the voicemail:

“Hi Ms.Y/N, I’m Calling to inform you that we took Frederick into the operating room early. No need to worry because the operation is just simple and easy. His doctor had an open schedule and we asked him if it would be okay with him to go back early. I just wanted to notify you of the changed and we’re sorry for any inconveniences. thanks have a great day. Bye.”

You sigh as you step out of the car. Usually, you are there with him before the surgeries for emotional support (but also for you just to check on him and have somebody to talk to). Once you got in the hospital, for once it was kinda quiet. The waiting area was a teeny bit busy but nothing compared to as busy as it usually was when you came. When you walked into Frederick’s room, the first that you had noticed was that the rooms bed and oxygen chamber was gone which meant he hadn’t ben back from surgery yet. Even though a nurse had told you that the procedure was easy, you were still a nervous wreck. After all, everybody had been leaving in the span of like what? Three or four days?You didn’t wanna loose Frederick as well. Alana and Margot left with their kid, and you were just extremely concerned about Will Graham. Even though you both hadn’t been as close as you were years ago, you still deeply cared for him and saw him as an older brother. While waiting, you started getting really hungry so you left to go get a bag of chips from the vending machine.

…

When you came back, you saw Frederick in the tube. he had a bandage going up from his feet to knee caps so you assumed that it had been skin grafts or something. The hospital staff was kind enough to let you sleep in the hospital bed until he was able to. When you noticed that he still hadn’t waken up, you decided to take a short nap and figured that you’d be up in an hour or so.

…

When you woke up, you had saw that you hadn’t just slept for an hour. You had been sleeping for five. When your eyes adjusted to the hospitals lighting, you noticed that Frederick was awake and had been watching you sleeping from his tube.

“Babe i’m sorry that I missed your surgery today and I’m sorry but I really should be getting home. I basically just got Alana’s job because she left and there’s really not anyone to replace her but me. I just need to sleep well before work tomorrow. But I promise that both in the morning and after work, i’ll come visit. “

“It’s okay. Just go home and get sleep.”

You smile and gather your stuff heading towards the door before hearing Frederick speak.

“I have a key taped to the top inside of my mailbox. Please, stay at my place for a while. I also have a plant that needs to be watered at least twice a day.”

“Thank you,” You leave the room and head to you place to grab yourself some clothes to keep at his house.

…

When you got your you house, you started putting a bunch of random items (sweat pants, yoga pants, shorts, tops, pajamas, etc) into an overnight bag. You also grabbed travel sized toiletries that were unopened and should last a while. after packing, you made your way to his place. When you arrived, you got the spare key from exactly where he said it had been. The moment you got inside, you practically ran to his bedroom to find a hoodie of his to sleep in. Once you found one with his college printed on the front, you tossed on sweats, put your hair up, and crashed in his bed.

…

You were woken up at exactly 11:00 PM by Jack Crawford calling you.

“Hello,” You said into the phone, half asleep still.

“Francis Dolarhyde is dead,” Jack said somberly.

“Isn’t that good? Why do you sound like that?”

“Y/N, you sound tired. I’m just going to call you back tomorrow.”

“No i’m fine. What’s up?”

“Will and Hannibal are missing.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

#frederick chilton #frederick chilton x reader #hannibal #raul esparza #hannibal x reader #chilton x reader #hannibal nbc #hannibal x y/n

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ppersonna · 3 years

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swipe right - jjk | m

“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers

♡ summary- after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)

♡ word count- 9k

♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.

♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia @untaemedqueen for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks and @hongism for the perusal and help in writing this!

Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.

He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.

Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.

Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.

“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.

You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”

“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”

You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.

“I’m at our park.”

Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.

“Give me five minutes, okay?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you.

“Okay.”

Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.

He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.

You still look so beautiful.

And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.

He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.

“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.

He sniffs haughtily.

“The trash added character.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.

“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.

He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.

“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”

You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.

“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.

“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.

“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.

He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.

“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”

“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.

“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”

As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.

You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it.

“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water.

He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk.

“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.”

Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo.

“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?”

You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above.

“You call Jimin a prince?”

Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband.

“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.”

You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.”

“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.”

You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own.

“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.”

“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.”

Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid.

It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom.

The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed.

The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it.

Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can.

“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”

Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone.

The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway.

He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk.

His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read.

He just matched with YOU.

His best friend.

His secret, lifelong crush.

He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it.

YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!

He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen.

JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?

You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other.

Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message.

JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀

Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone.

A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend.

YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies

“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone.

Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion.

“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”

You huff.

“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband.

“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.

There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line.

“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”

You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend.

“It’s nothing!”

“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.”

“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”

“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.”

You roll your eyes.

“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”

“I’ll be expecting your call later.”

“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”

You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.

You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.

So, why do you care so much about what you wear?

You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.

Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?

The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

You shake all thoughts off.

No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.

You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.

Perfect.

With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.

JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!

ME: See you soon!

Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.

Is he too casual?

He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.

Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.

Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.

He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.

He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.

It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.

You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.

He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.

You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams.

“Jungkook?”

It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.

“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.

“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.

“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.

“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.

“Oh?” He asks, taken aback.

In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.

“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”

His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly.

“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”

The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”

A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.

“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures.

You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.

“Well, are we going?”

Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.

But he resists.

“Let’s go!”

You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen.

But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more.

Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is.

But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork.

Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.

And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you.

It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause.

“What’s up?” He asks curiously.

Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner.

You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours.

“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”

Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own.

Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to.

As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.

“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.

Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“What? We were going to get ice cream?”

You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.

You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.

“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.

His body stiffens.

“Okay, let me walk you home.”

You shake your head, already moving away from the man.

“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.

Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.

You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.

“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.

“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”

“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.

“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.

“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator.

Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.

“We’re on our way over.”

Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.

Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.

Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.

“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”

Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.

“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”

Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.

“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”

Jimin nods knowingly.

“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”

Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze.

“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”

You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face.

“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”

Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”

Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.

You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.

Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light

speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.

“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.

Ouch.

You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.

“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”

Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest.

“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”

“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”

“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.

“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”

You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”

“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.

He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”

“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”

He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.

“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”

“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”

“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”

You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.

He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.

He can’t watch you run away from him again.

“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”

Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.

“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”

He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.

The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.

“Hi Kook.”

The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.

It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others.

Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.

Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.

“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.

The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.

“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”

He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”

He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park.

“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”

The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too.

“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”

He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.

The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.

“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”

The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.

The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.

“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”

The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth.

“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”

His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm.

He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.

“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.

Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.

The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.

It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.

It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing.

Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.

Maybe it was too late.

You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it.

“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”

“You should have brought a jacket.”

The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face down the intruder.

Jungkook.

He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.

He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.

“You came.”

He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.

“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.

“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”

He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.

“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.

“Every word.”

His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.

“Why did you run away?” Another step.

You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.

“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”

One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck.

“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”

All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes.

“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently.

“And I promise to never run away from you again.”

Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself.

“I would like it if you would.”

As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again.

“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with.

“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing.

“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”

Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss.

Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.

“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip.

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours.

“You’re such a little smartass.”

His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly.

He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed.

“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?”

You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement.

“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.”

Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited.

“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs.

His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge.

“Oh fuck,” he breathes.

“Feels pretty real, huh?”

“Y-yeah.”

Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more.

“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.”

Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable.

One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan.

“How about this? Not a dream?”

He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water.

“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”

You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently.

“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue.

“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue.

You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets.

“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”

He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully.

“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.”

He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body).

Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are.

“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”

Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down.

“Still dreaming?”

He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire.

“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.

You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes.

“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”

Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”

His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout.

His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.

“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?”

His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug.

Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing.

“I plan to find out everything.”

Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.

“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.”

He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss.

He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you.

“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.”

Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body.

He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.

He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands.

“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.”

His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation.

“You’re so pretty. So perfect.”

He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.

His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.

One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.

“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”

His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.

“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.

“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”

Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.

“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”

He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.

“And I need you, my love.”

“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”

Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.

“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off.

He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.

After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air.

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”

You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.

“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”

He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”

“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”

He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”

A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.

“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”

Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”

You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.

“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”

Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.

“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”

Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.

“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”

Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.

“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”

He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.

“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”

You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.

“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt.

He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.

“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”

The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation.

“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”

A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.

He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.

“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”

With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”

You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”

His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion.

He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.

Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.

After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.

“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”

You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.

“All yours.”

“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship.

You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.

You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.

“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”

Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”

Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”

Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister.

You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.

“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.

“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”

Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.

Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.

“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”

You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.

“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”

Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.

“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”

You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.

“Sure, Kookie.”

He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”

Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”

tag list - @giadalin @nohayarcoirissintormenta @pjmislovely @xhazmania @marcoazam2 @eggbutnotyolk @feel-the-sunset @unicornbabylover @aretha170 @jeonmisha @hordanhearsawhooo

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts fic #jeon jungkook smut #jungkook #ficswithluv #jjk smut #bts fics #jjk fic #jungkook fic

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writemekpop · 3 years

Text

Daddy’s Girl | Lee Taeyong

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x Reader

Summary: Mafia bosses don’t get holidays, but neither do baby mamas. So, you propose a swap... can he handle the heat?

Genre: Mafia AU, Daddy!Taeyong

Word count: 0.8k

Gif: @nctsworld

Request: Can I have a crack with MafiaBoss!Taeyong in which he is scolding by his s/o for a funny reason?

“Hey, mama, you didn’t have’ta wait up for me…”

You’re woken by a gentle kiss on your forehead. Taeyong’s bittersweet cigarettes fill your nose as you look at the window. The sun’s almost up.

A fresh cut curves over your husband’s dark eyebrow.

He looks like a mess. And you’re sick of it.

“What was I meant to do? Taeyong, I hate going to bed alone.”

Taeyong’s lips tighten. This clearly wasn’t the welcome he was expecting. “If you knew the day I’ve had…” His tone is gruff.

“Yeah, I get it, someone’s out to kill you – they always are. Try telling our four-year-old daughter that her daddy’s missing her birthday. Again.”

Taeyong scoffs. “Gang bosses don’t exactly get sick days, Y/n.” He grips his buzzed scalp like he wants to pull it off. “You spend one day doing some real work, and you’ll see.”

You stand up, your chair screaming against the floorboards. “Try me.”

Taeyong eyes are an unreadable black. “Fine. Tomorrow, we swap. You manage my men, and I… do whatever the hell it is that you do here at home.”

You search for a sign he’s joking, but there isn’t any.

Taeyong is deadly serious.

----

You hold open the front door with one foot, dropping three satchels of cash. Leaning against the cool wood, you let your lids slip closed.

You place Taeyong’s handgun carefully by the door.

You’ve had one hell of a day.

“Taeyong?”

You eye the destruction in your apartment. Everywhere, ballerina skirts, schoolbooks and abandoned socks slouch over the furniture.

Grimacing, you pick up a banana skin. “Good day, babe?”

Taeyong emerges from the kitchen, furiously whisking a mixing bowl in his arms.

You struggle not to laugh.

Taeyong’s blonde hair isn’t slicked back over his head like usual. No, it’s pulled into a ponytail, making him look disturbingly cute.

A thin layer of flour coats his body, giving him a ghostly look. There’s no leather on his body today. Instead, a ‘Mummy’s Little Princess’ apron covers his carved chest.

Taeyong is panting so hard he can barely speak. “S-since when was our daughter a monster?”

You giggle. “Trouble?”

At the sight of your perfect composure, Taeyong’s frowns. “Jaehyun musta been pleased when you came asking for my money back…”

You pout. “He was surprised. But I did what you told me - I reminded him just how much he has to lose.”

You grin, remembering the colour draining from Jaehyun’s face. As you left, you just caught Jaehyun whisper, “Forget Taeyong. The wife’s the one you need to be afraid of.”

Taeyong’s smile drops. “You’re telling me he gave the money back? All of it?”

You smirk, crossing your arms. “Ten million, five-hundred and thirty-seven big ones.”

The veins on Taeyong’s arms stop flexing; he’s too stunned to whisk. “Wow, sugar, I wasn’t expecting that. H-how did y-you-”

You cut him off. “Please tell me you remembered our daughter’s birthday.”

As if on cue, you hear little feet smacking the hallway floor. “Daphne!” You scoop your daughter into your arms. Over the little girl’s shoulder, you glare at Taeyong.

“Happy birthday, princess! Come to daddy, I’ve got a present for you,” Taeyong says obnoxiously loud.

You feel a pang of jealousy at the honey in his voice. Taeyong hasn’t talked to you like that since…

You scold yourself. She’s your daughter, for god’s sake.

Daphne jumps out of your arms and runs towards Taeyong. As she pulls apart the scrappy wrapping paper of Taeyong’s gift, you hold your breath. Please.

She pulls out… a tiny rabbit toy.

You raise an eyebrow. It isn’t pink and fluffy like most cuddly toys. It’s a scruffy, skinny brown, almost… realistic.

It isn’t till you see the tag that you realise what Taeyong’s done.

“You bought our daughter a dog toy?” You mouth the words silently, but you could have been screaming.

Taeyong cocks his head to the side. You mouth the words even more furiously, adding hand gestures.

Taeyong’s mouth drops open. He scrabbles for the box.

When your husband looks up, he isn’t a weathered gang lord. He’s a little boy again, getting sent to the principal’s office for nicking sweets from the corner shop. Your heart is heavy.

But your little girl… feels the opposite?

“I love it, daddy!” she yells.

Daphne squeezes Taeyong so hard he has to shout, “Easy, cowgirl!”

Meanwhile, your culturally sensitive, age appropriate Bratz doll lies abandoned in the packet.

You sigh, a smile slicing through your frown. How can you be angry when your angel is so pleased?

Maybe Taeyong isn’t perfect.

But he’s yours.

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rcksmith · 3 years

Text

Spring breeze part.2 — Spencer Reid

Gif by @ssadrreid

Sumarry: Spencer never thought about falling in love with someone, but he certainly didn't expect that he would fall in love with Gideon's daughter. — season 3 —

Part.1 Part.3 Part.4

A/N: I was very happy with the return you guys had in the first part💖. I hope you guys like.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️ Couple:Spencer Reid / Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: nothing, just very fluff.

— — — — —

Spencer straightened his tie for the hundredth time in front of the mirror, in several unsuccessful attempts to exhibit his best that day. It was funny and ironic how, after so many years wearing dress shirts and a tie, the universe seemed to handpick that day to do - no matter how much Spencer tried to fix it - his tie looked weird. The fabric was too far to the left, or too far to the right, or too wrinkled in the folds. No matter how much he undid the knot or changed his tie, still looked strange.

What a nightmare.

Reid was barely able to sleep with the notion that he would see you today, his body being whipped assiduously by unsettling waves of euphoria, his mind whizzing like a propellant, anxiety screaming in his mind and sending his sleep for miles away. That morning, the world seemed to be more stuffy, hot and torrid, and for a second, Reid felt himself under the heat of Egypt instead of autumn in Washington.

He could feel his heart speeding up with the steps of the clocks, his breath running away from his lungs, a thousand and one speeches being revised in his head to try to lessen the likelihood of speaking some bullshit near you. Because he couldn't ruin that chance.

Spencer knew he was not the type of guy to have dates whit women like you every day. In fact, Laila had been the only stunning woman who had looked at him a second time. But, well, to be honest, he knew that all that affection she had directed him had been side effects of the transfer. He had been her hero and it clouded people's rationality. And, to his disquiet and to the dread of his insecurity, you were above the beauty of Laila on stratospheric levels.

To make matters worse, the damn tie wasn't good! God, he was screwed.

Spencer gave up on that impossible mission, settling for and conforming to what the tie looked like after the twentieth attempt. He wanted you to see him as a handsome person, a man worth wasting time with, not a boy who only served to be your friend. You were beautiful on so many levels that... well, Reid wanted you to be attracted to him, too, to simplify.

He stepped away from the mirror and slung his work bag over his shoulder, trying to control the pounding of his own heart.

On the way to work, trying hard to avoid thinking about what him looked like in that damned imperfect tie, Reid wondered, for a moment, if you too were under the same emotions. Did you change your clothes several times because you also felt anxious too? Could it be that, like him hands, yours also trembled? Or, if he was lucky, was your heart beating as hard as him?

He hoped that was yes.

As soon as he entered the BAU headquarters, with anxiety as his chaperone, Spencer sat at his own table while pouring a “Good morning” to his colleagues.

“Arrived early.” Derek narrowed his eyes at him, in that suspicious look.

"I am never late." He was quick to hit and that caused his friend to raise an eyebrow.

"But you never be anxious to get here earlier."

Sometimes Spencer hated that his friends were profiles.

“I just like my job.” Reid started to unpack things of bag, trying to avoid the look of Derek who was still burning his back.

“Oh, I'm sure you like.” The double meaning in his friend's tone did not go unnoticed by Spencer, but he did not want to delve into the truths of that argument, much less think about it.

Emily and JJ arrived after a few minutes, with Garcia following behind and making their point that she was not to blame for buying those pairs of shoes, since they were practically begging her to take them. Normally, Reid did not look at the glass door whenever he heard someone approaching, or had a strong desire to see Gideon pass through them as well.

But that day... that day, seeing Gideon meant seeing you. And seeing you meant that you would go through that door. And going through that door meant that Spencer would see you come in. That was enough to make his gaze turn to those doors from minute to minute.

But time passed. Fifteen minutes flew by, then twenty, then thirty. Anxiety increased and now his agitated heart was tuned to his right leg, which did not stop quietly, shaking from top to bottom assiduously.

“What do you look for at the door so much, Reid?”

Prentiss asked the last question that Reid would like to answer, and that caught Derek’s attention, who, as expected, laughed amusingly and sank further into the chair, a sly, playful smile on his lips.

“Oh, he is expecting a member of the Gideon family.”

Spencer swore and, in that moment, he was never so jealous of ostriches for being able to stick their heads underground. If he were one of them, he would definitely do it.

“I'm not expecting Y/n.” he said, whit voice higher and thin than usual.

“But I didn't say it was Y/n.” Derek laughed and Spencer felt his cheeks go red.

This time he gave up hitting back, his let out a bad mood murmur and turned forward, forcing himself not to look at the door anymore. From that moment on, Spencer focused on focusing on the pile of reports in front of him, forcing his brain to disconnect from the things around him and concentrate on matters that demand his all attention.

The hours went by, faster this time, the case-free day was being used to finish late reports and giving the team time to recover the nerves and breath of the last case.

After noon, Gideon still hadn't arrived and Spencer started to feel slightly fearful. He was about to take his phone out of his pocket and dial Jason when JJ appeared, handing over more piles of reports to they that required to be finished today.

Derek gave a loud curse of annoyance, muttering something and back to writing again. Emily was used to the paperwork bureaucracy, but from the bittersweet and dissatisfied look on her face, Spencer knew that no one there shared the same delight him had with paperwork. He also knew that Morgan was exhausted because he had remodeled a property yesterday and was barely could to sleep, and Prentiss felt overwhelmed because she was dealing with problems with her mother and with the bureaucracy policy that Strauss pressed against her.

Then Spencer looked at the file stack itself. There was a lot of paperwork, but the amount of reports he would finish in two minutes was three times what his friends would finish in an hour. He leaned forward, looking over the table to see Emily and focusing Derek better in his field of vision.

“Do you guys want to give some reports? I finish faster anyway”

They agreed without hesitating or pretending modesty. Reid laughed, saying that his friends would owe him one, and went back to work.

After that, when Spencer finished the reports and lifted his head from the paperwork, the light in the world had dimmed to a dark blue hue, streaked by small, bright stars.

The breeze coming in through the large glass windows was fresh and invigorating, the scent of the night's wonderful promises was reminiscent of your perfume. And then he realized that neither you nor Gideon showed up all day. Something about him withered, the euphoria diminished until it became as small as the stars outside. The clock struck seven at night when Spencer got up and put his things away, millions of feelings buzzing in chest.

The unsettling sense of concern began to take place than had previously to been emotions of anxiety and excitement, and he pondered whether to ask Hotch about Gideon or to call himself. Reid looked around, looking under his colleagues, who were packing up to go home, and going up to Aaron's office. He could still see his figure under the marble table, the light from the room underscoring the serious and concentrated expression he directed to the documents. The air in that room looked different, maybe more dense, maybe more serious. But Spencer knew it was best to let Hotch do his own thing.

He ran the tip of his tongue over the corner of lips, reaching into his pocket and reaching for his cell phone.

“Hey, Reid." he turned toward Morgan, that signaled them to go to the elevator.

“Did you speak to Gideon today? Or did you hear Hotch say something about it?” The question came after he reached Derek, both of them walking out the glass door.

"Is it Gideon you're worried about or... his daughter?” He laughs shamelessly, pressing the elevator button.

Spencer stumbles over the words when says: “Wh-What? No. I'm just worried about him. It has nothing to do with… ”

As soon as the sentence was about to end, the elevator doors open. Instead of the usual void or presence of someone from the FBI, Spencer felt catatonic when he saw the female figure inside.

You.

In a burst, like a strong wind that blows and pushes things away, Spencer was struck by all the feelings and sensations that had been bubbling in his stomach all day. Euphoria, anxiety, insecurity and... animation. Suddenly, he was worried again about how he would look, what he would say, if he was presentable enough for you to look at him with... Well, Spencer didn't know how he wanted you to look at him, but he wished it were something that guarantee your affection.

He wanted to be something that excited you, that made your heart race. Just like his was now.

"Y/n...” He did not recognize his own voice. The intonation.

"Hey." You smiled genuinely, and it was able to make Reid's heart beat so fast that he feared you could hear. “I'm sorry I didn't show up and neither did my dad.”

“No problem at all.” He was sincere “Did something happen? Are you two okay? ”

The concern in Reid's voice was so palpable that you losing your breath. God, that man couldn't be real.

“I just remembered that Garcia is call me." Morgan tried to swallow a big smile “It was good to see you, Y/n.”

“Me too, Morgan.” You gave him a hand gesture that, for Reid, was lovely.

Spencer put his arm in the elevator door, preventing it from closing.

“Will you want to leave?” Always as solicitous as a gentleman.

“Oh no.” Now it was your cheeks that were softly red. “I came to see you actually.”

If nothing that had happened before was not enough to steal Spencer's breath, your sentence completed the mission. He put himself in an elevator, pressing a button and letting the doors close.

"I was going to bring my dad today, but ... well” You laughed “To put it succinctly, my dad has a list of things he wants to do before he dies, and one of them was rollerblading”

You and Spencer laughed. Half because he would have laughed at anything you said to see your smile, and half because he couldn't see Gideon having such a list. But he liked it. The feeling of knowing that Jason was having fun, enjoying life, not letting that job rip off all of his humanity, was comforting, joyful.

“Why do I feel this is not going to end well?" He joked too and you laughed.

“Because it doesn't end.” Your fingers ran through your hair “We ended up going to a place that had this, before he have work today, and he ended up twisting his ankle when he fell.”

You tried to no laught, because it was not something to play with, but after the fright passed and your father and you were entangled, they both burst out laughing. And now, reliving that, you didn't remember the hurt itself, but how great the fun between the two of you had been.

“He is fine?" But Spencer had a worried flash in his eyes.

“Oh, yes, the doctor said there was nothing much. He just needs to get some rest.” You smiled “I was going to call, but one thing led to another and when I saw it, it was too late to call. So I thought about coming in person.”

Spencer was known to have a photographic memory and a very high IQ, but at that moment, if then asked what you had just said, he would need a moment to remember. For the only thing he was concentrating on at that moment was the certainty that your smile could light up the whole of Washington. How your eyes held the stars' syntax and how the energy that emanated from you was... cheerful.

He realized that you were a cheerful person, outgoing and with an innate ease of making friends. You had that special touch that made people and the universe orbit around you. And Spencer knew it was one of the planets captured by your gravity.

"It is very sweet of you to come here to tell me that.” He smiled, but then realized what he had just said “N-not that you owe me any explanation! I just-I think it's cool that you worried and…n-not that I waited for you but… not th-that I didn't expect you too and...” Spencer stopped talking, giving up trying to find the right words to get him out of the mess he got himself into.

At times like this, Reid was used to people just dropping an embarrassed nod and leaving, or ignoring the avalanche of things he said. But as soon as the tone of your laughter echoed through the elevator and snaked through him body like a wave of energy, Reid looked at you more closely. You didn't give that embarrassed look, nor did you look sorry for him. You laughed lovingly and touched his arm.

"I was also looking forward to seeing you.” You summed up all of him thoughts in one sentence and freed him from all fears.

"Serious?" But disbelief was still present.

The elevator door opened and the two of you got out, walking to the exit of the building and being greeted by the cool, comforting breeze of the night.

“Yea.” You said as if it were obvious, “What do you think about going to a movie? It's not too late. ”

If Spencer had been told a few weeks ago that in a few days he would be on a date with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, he would have scoffed. He would have thought it was a joke with a background of evil. Going out with girls was not on the list of things Spencer did regularly, but he was thanking any confusion or mistake the Universe had made to accidentally placed you with him.

To be honest, with you on his side, with you with him, Spencer felt like he had won in life. That all those years of school and university, when he only saw beautiful girls from afar and dreamed of what it would be like to have one this girls interest in him, had dissipated into the air. Dissolved in the breeze like smoke. During all the hours of film, the joyful and ecstatic conversations you both had after, Spencer could feel the connection in the air. Naturally, kind of magical.

Did he know you two days or two decades ago?

You told all of your adventures, all of stories, and listened carefully to every ramble and phrase Reid had to say. He felt, for the first time, completely important. As if everything he had to say was valuable as a diamond, rare as a tropical treasure.

He felt comfortable, relaxed, cheerful.

And when, at the end of the night while the two of you were walking along the lively and vibrant streets of DC, you took his hand and intertwined yours fingers, Spencer never felt so alive.

He had been born twenty-four years, but only now did he really feel what it was like to be alive.

tagged: @gublersuvula @peculiarinsomniac

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #dr.spencer reid x reader #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #derek morgan #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg fluff #mathew gray gubler #mgg x reader

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spxllcxstxr · 3 years

Text

Cold to Cozy • R.L

(Gif not mine)

Request: oshdskdhkshs what about Remus being really patient, loving and gentle with the reader who’s insecure and anxious to open up to sb and be with someone after she had just got out of the toxic relationship? Sorry for my English. Love you so much. — anon

Summary: After a rough break up, you wind up at the top of the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night. Remus joins you.

Warnings: toxic relationship mention (not with Remus), more along the lines of emotional abuse, not physical, crying, but it’s mentioned and Remus comes to comfort you, but please stay safe

Word Count: 1.1k

A.N: Relationships are hard to write when you’ve never been in one. I hope I did this request justice! Could be read as platonic since it’s more focused on like comfort and not really a relationship, but who knows? Read how you’d like to! I think gn!reader. I also still don’t know how to end these things oops. Hope you enjoy, and I love you all ❤️

****

You don’t remember why you even started dating William Mulciber in the first place.

It was a well known fact that he was a bigoted asshole, and anyone with a brain wouldn’t even touch him with a ten foot pole. The only friends he had were Avery, Rosier, and Snape, and even those three needed a break from him sometimes.

But he made you feel wanted in some twisted way—at least at first.

He would flirt with you in class and stare at you across the room instead of getting assignments done. Mulciber would comment on your figure, mostly lewd remarks that had your eyes widen in shock. But he assured you that these were compliments, and who were you to say otherwise, especially in public when all eyes were focused on you?

You’d get embarrassed and duck your head towards the ground as he and his little group laughed at whatever crude joke your little admirer thought of this time.

But he was the only boy to ever outwardly express any sort of interest in you so you felt obligated to accompany him to Hogsmede. And after your little date, even though you realized that the two of you didn’t really have anything in common and he did enough talking for the both of you, you felt obligated to kiss him in front of the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

And your relationship with him was fine for about a whole two seconds before it became damaging to your entire being.

So that’s why after only a few months of being berated and judged by someone who persuaded you that it was all out of love, your relationship, if that’s what you would call it, ended after hours of shouting and flinging insults at each other.

It’s also the reason you’re crying into your house scarf at the top of the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the cold night.

The wind bites harshly at your exposed flesh, your fingers frozen and the tips of your ears completely numb.

Your legs dangle over the side, arms looped securely around the brass banister as your tears drip into your scarf.

The striped fabric is useful in muffling any rogue sobs that manage to escape.

“Rough night?”

The soft questioning voice coming from behind you has you furiously wiping your face in an attempt to look somewhat composed.

“You could say that.” Your voice cracks as the person sits next to you.

Glancing over you can tell it’s Remus, the sleeves of his thick blue jumper bunched up around his hands. He’s shivering very slightly, but is otherwise unbothered by the weather.

He nods silently, and you can hear your teeth chatter. Shyly, you bite your lip in an attempt to stop.

“I heard about you and Mulciber.” Remus speaks up, glancing at you before quickly looking back up at the cloudy sky.

“Oh yeah?” You snort, staring at his scarred face. “And what exactly did you hear?”

Remus looks back at you, the whites of his eyes illuminated in the blue glow coming from the tip of his wand.

“That you’re, and I quote, ‘a cheating bitch.’” He rolls his eyes.

“Oh yeah, because talking to Davey Gudgeon about our upcoming Herbology project is categorized as cheating, and him snogging that sixth year behind the Quidditch shed isn’t.” You scoff, balling your fists around your scarf in anger.

Of course he was spreading lies about you to make himself look like the victim. He was never in the wrong and you always were.

“That’s terrible.” You hear him shift closer to you.

“Yeah, well, that isn’t even the worst of it.” You mumble under your breath, a frown tugging at your lips.

“You don’t deserve that, (Y/n).” He tells you softly.

“But—“

“No, no one deserves the utter shit he put you through, alright?” Remus insists fiercely.

Your throat tightens as you turn your gaze down to your fingers. Nervously, you rub them together, trying to defrost them in order to find feeling again.

“You do know that, don’t you? That what he made you deal with wasn’t love?” Remus continues to press.

Noncommittally, you offer him a shrug, still avoiding those warm honey brown eyes of his.

“I’m sorry, I’m being a little too forward, aren’t I?” Remus sputters at your lack of response. “I just get so frustrated thinking about how he treated you, but if I’m overstepping—“

“No, no, it’s fine, Remus, really.” Finally, you look up, waving away his unnecessary panic. “Just...he was my first...everything, y’know? I think he’s ruined love for me.”

Remus’ face falls at your meek response. His sandy curls wave in the wind and you watch as he tries and fails to tame them behind his ears.

“Love isn’t whatever rubbish he gave you, (Y/n). Love is this warm and cozy feeling that makes you want to wake up in the morning. And makes you want to run around laughing in the pouring rain.” He rambles, marred hands waving around as he talks. “It’s a breath of fresh air and a million little kisses in the middle of the night. Honestly, I wish I could be a little more poetic, but it’s almost midnight and my brain is fried after that Potions exam.”

He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck.

“No Remus, that was—that was beautiful. It certainly wasn’t what we had.” You smile at him, something you haven’t done in ages at this point.

Truthfully, his little rant had a warmth blossoming in your chest, something you can’t exactly explain. You felt comfortable with him, nothing like you’d ever felt with Mulciber.

With him, it was nothing but ice, sure the occasional dull spark was ignited when his arm was slung securely over your shoulders, but that was rare.

All Remus had to do was look you in the eye and you were a melting mess.

You liked this new feeling.

“You know, you should’ve brought gloves.” He gestures to your numb fingers, shivering in the wind.

“Well I wasn’t exactly planning on going through a break up tonight, Remus.” You sarcastically retort, trying once again to bundle up your hands.

“Here, let me help.” Remus’s large hands lay atop your own, warm palms pressing against your chilled fingers.

You study your joined hands before slowly lifting your gaze back to his eyes. Your hands start to thaw.

“This is nice.” You tell him, just above a whisper.

His face is a bit closer to your own, and you can see the pink blush rising on his cheeks and tinting the tips of his ears. His nose adopts a redder hue from the brutal wind.

“Yeah.” Remus agrees at a similar volume. “It really is.”

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20 @amourtentiaa @cherie-draco @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

Remus Lupin Taglist: @lunalovecroft

#Remus Lupin #remus lupin x reader #Remus Lupin blurb #Remus Lupin fluff #Remus Lupin angst #the marauders x reader #remus lupin imagine

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marvelfansince08love · 3 years

Note

hi laurennnn. how about soft platonic!wandanat (like wanda and nat are in a relationship, reader isn't) taking care of the reader (who they've kinda taken under their wing) after she did something really stupid on a mission? i hope that makes sense

Happy WandaNat Wednesday!!!

Title: Breathing Again

Word count: 3k

Pairing: WandaNat x Platonic!Reader

Warning: a little sad, some fluff

A/N: Minimal editing so I do apologise! Mysh (mouse) Myshka (little mouse)

Gif owner @diegclila <3

For Alexis x @canarypoint

Breathing Again

The first thing you noticed was the pain, that sore aching pain that reached all over your body as you tried to adjust to the bright light as you awake, groaning at the sensitivity of your eyes that stare back at the white light. Your gaze flickers around the dark room trying to gather your senses, blurry outlines begin to focus as you notice a familiar figure curled up on the chair beside the bed you’re lying on. You swallow and lick at your dried lips.

“Wanda,” your voice rasped and croaked as you gained the tired witch’s attention watching her rouse to the sound of your voice. She moves quickly from her position once she notices you awake, her hands tentatively brushing your hair from your face as green eyes take in the almost healed bruises and scrapes that scatter across your skin.

“Shh sweetheart, here drink some water.” she instructs softly, her voice hushed as she moves to grab you a glass of water from the side table. She tilts the glass to your lips slowly allowing you to take in the cold liquid sighing in relief as you quench your dying thirst. Turning your head you watch her frantically move towards the door calling for someone as you frown still unsure of your whereabouts, she rushes back over to you and smiles reassuringly.

“What happened to me?” you ask, the events still a blur as you try to remember pieces of the mission. It was supposed to be a simple rescue job until an old rival of Tony’s decided to show up and stir up trouble causing the mission to go sideways, a second explosion had gone off close to where you were helping civilians escape out of the wreckage from the first hit unaware of the possibility of a second wave of explosions.

Wanda sits on the edge of the bed, her hand rubbing soothing strokes across your bicep. Watery eyes lock onto your own as you see her struggle to gather her words, before her gaze drops to her lap.

“You were almost out of the building when the second explosion went off, Nat tried to get to you she was screaming for you to retreat but you were too stubborn for your own good,” she pauses, as she raises a scolding eyebrow at you but her eyes remain soft and full of relief at seeing you awake and breathing; living. “There was a cry for help just south of the building and as you got them out the explosion hit and you- you tried to use your powers to deflect the force but you weren’t prepared for it and-” a sob escapes from her throat as you struggle to sit upright tilting your head to gain her attention again.

“I’m okay Wanda,” your words make her look up almost instantly, a small sad smile gracing her lips.

“Barely, we were told that your chances of coming around-” “Y/N!” Tony’s voice cuts off Wanda’s as he races in with a woman dressed in a white lab coat, her badge indicating her profession. She moves swiftly towards you shining a bright light in both of your eyes making you squint at the harshness, your body still coming around from what feels like a million years of slumber.

“Nice to see that you’ve come around, Y/N. I’m Doctor Jones, I’ve been looking after you while you’ve been here. Do you know where you are?” she asks, as if routine. “I uh- yeah. The hospital right?” you mumble, not overly confident with your answer. She smiles kindly at you as she nods in confirmation.

“That’s right and while we have been able to keep you stable, you’ve been through some major trauma alright so I need you to take it easy for me while we go through some routine check ups okay? Do you remember what happened to you?” she continues to ask questions as she checks over your vitals, moving with such ease and experience as Tony remains quiet next to her but still hovers close to the good doctor who seems to be irritated by his lack of personal space. From the expression on her face this isn’t the first time Tony’s been pestering her while you’ve been out, you frown at that thought.

“How long have I been out for?” your question makes them freeze, as Doctor Jones for the first time pauses as she writes on your chart, eyes flicker from one another. Wanda licks her lips as she looks away seeming to struggle with answering your question making you turn your attention to Tony. His shoulders slack as he stands a few inches away biting at his thumb nail.

“Two months and three days,” his words make your eyes widen as the machine next to you begins to bleep loud and fast.

“Two months!” you exclaim, your breathing becoming more erratic as you feel your chest tighten. Wanda seems to finally snap out of her tortured daydream as she focuses on your anxious form, her lips shushing you, her hands cupping your jaw as her thumbs brush across your cheekbones.

“Y/N. Listen to me, I need you to calm down okay?” she instructs, taking a deep breath in silently asking you to mimic her actions. A familiar routine that you’ve both done ever since your first anxiety attack after your first mission with the team. Her soothing efforts seem to work as Doctor Jones informs you that all your vitals seem to be all stable and that once you have been medically reviewed, you can be discharged home back to Avengers Tower.

Once the Doctor had left, Tony finally joined you and Wanda by the bedside sitting at the foot of the hospital bed. The pair caught you up on the past two months reassuring you that not a lot had changed, the lack of Natasha’s name didn’t go unnoticed by yourself though.

“Wait, what happened to Natasha?” the two share a look at the mention of the redhead assassin. Tony pats your leg and smiles softly.

“She’s fine, Kid.” he reassures, but Wanda’s distant look does nothing to calm your worries.

Since joining the Avengers you have become close to the assassin and the witch that sits beside you. The two had been dating for a while before you joined the team and became somewhat like mother’s to you, your mentors. Peter has Tony and you, well you had the two most badass women on your side. Moving away from your parents to live with the Avenger’s had been difficult at first, still trying to control your powers as well finding a way to fit into an already established team was hard but Natasha had been nice and warm towards you, teaching you the basics in hand to hand combat as well as weapons training while Wanda had taken you under her wing in the power’s department, having some power over certain elements yourself made you bond instantly with the witch. You had never been close to your parents, your abilities instantly labelling you as an outsider to them and the rest of your family but since being with the Avengers and having Natasha and Wanda look out for you, you finally felt a sense of belonging.

Biting your lip, you nod trying to convince yourself of his words.

***

Walking slowly into the shared common room, you allow Wanda to guide you gently into the living room space where some of the team wait impatiently for you. Peter spots you first, smiling brightly as he takes in your tired form. Jogging over to you, he gently takes you into his arms and squeezes lightly.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he whispers, you squeeze your eyes shut to hold back on the tears. The realisation of just how close you were to losing your life becoming more prominent as you squeeze him back ignoring the pain that creeps up around your body at the tight pressure.

“Me too,” you whisper back, before pulling away and greeting the others. Your heart tightens as the emotions from the last two days start to surface as Thor is last to greet you, his gentleness surprising you at the usually strong and mighty God who doesn’t realise his own strength at times. As they step away to give you some room to settle down on the sofa, you can’t help but look around for the certain redhead. Wanda notices your search as she comes to sit next to you, the guys moving towards the kitchen to help prepare for dinner which only heightens your suspicions knowing that Steve is the only one allowed to cook in the kitchen after the last incident that involved the microwave, pop-tarts and Thor.

“Wanda, is Nat okay with me? Doesn’t she want to see me?” your voice leaving her no room to dodge your questions. She brushes a lock of your hair behind your ear as she searches for the right words.

“Nat is fine, Mysh. Of course she wants to see you, she just- after the doctor told us that you might not make it through, Nat kinda retreated into herself. She would sit for hours at your bedside, I was the only one besides Clint who could get her to eat and sleep. I only managed to convince her to come back here a few days before you woke to get some proper rest,” she pauses, as tears build in her eyes. “Y/N, you have to understand one thing about Natasha. She has always been taught that love is for children, that in itself closed her off to any kind of personal relationships with others even after leaving the red room. Since meeting Clint and then being here with us, she’s been able to let go of that old notion and genuinely open up to the possible idea of love and friendship, to me, to the team, including you, Little Mouse.” she grins as she calls you the familiar nickname that Nat gave you after you started training with her.

“Is she here? I’d like to talk to her,” you murmur, suddenly feeling the need to apologize to her for not listening to her during that mission but most of all needing to reassure her and see her for yourself. Wanda nods as she leans forward pressing a kiss to your temple.

“She’ll be in your room,” she informs you, a knowing look passes through her green eyes as you nod. You stand and head for the elevator that leads to the private quarters before pausing and quickly moving back to Wanda briefly wrapping your arms around her chest from behind leaning your head against hers for a moment.

“Thank you for looking after me,” you mumble, she pats your arms and smiles.

“Go and see Nat,” are her only words, making you salute her mockingly as she laughs.

***

Taking a deep breath in you allow yourself a moment as you take in the familiar hallway to your bedroom, observing the picture frames on the wall. Frames showing yourself with the couple on your birthday, cooking with Wanda and Peter in the kitchen and one from your latest sleepover with the two, face masks in place as you pull silly faces. You notice your bedroom door ajar as you peek through the gap noticing Natasha’s figure curled up on your bed as her shoulders remain rigid and stiff as she faces away from you.

“Wan, I’m not in the mood-”

“It’s me,” you cut in, watching her become tense at the sound of your voice. She quickly sits up from your bed and faces you, her face stoic as her blue eyes take in your form. Moving further into the room you decide to crouch in front of her placing your hands onto her knees.

“It’s me Nat, I’m home.” you whisper, fidgeting in place as your nervousness begins to take over. Her hands tentatively reach your cheeks cupping your jaw as her eyes assess the fading bruises.

“I am so angry with you,” she murmurs, her voice betraying her words as fear remains evident in her voice. Your lips twitch as tears begin to build in your eyes.

“I know and I’m so sorry I should have listened to you-”

“Damn straight you should have. Do you know how scared I was when I finally got to you? You were so pale and you wouldn’t wake-,” she trails off, as she continues to take in your face.

“Natasha I know I scared you-”

“Scared me?! I have never been so terrified in my life Y/N, do you understand how important you are to this team, to Wanda.. To me! I know how frightened your parents were when we told them, they threatened to have you transferred to the hospital back at home and for us to never see you again.” you try to interrupt to explain that you understood but she continues, the emotions from the last two months finally surfacing.

“You may not realise this, but we care about you... so much, Y/N. At first I was so angry with you for being so darn stubborn and not listening to me,” she confesses, standing to her feet as she begins to pace. You stand as well stepping back to allow her room to let out her frustrations folding your arms across your stomach.

“Nat, I understand how reckless I was okay? I’m sorry I don't know what else to say right now,” you murmur, suddenly regretting the decision to do this now as you begin to feel lightheaded. The day’s events slowly creep up on top of you as you close your eyes for a second trying to steady yourself. Natasha seems to notice your swaying state and reaches forward wrapping a protective arm around your waist, guiding you towards the bed.

“Are you okay, Myshka?” she asks, worry evident in her voice. “Lie down,” she instructs softly, making sure the pillows are plumped behind your head. You look up shyly at her feeling the dizzy spell surpass slightly.

“Will you stay with me? Since I pretty much slept for two months I’m scared that when I close my eyes I’ll-”

“I know, Kid. Scoot over then,” she bumps her elbow against your shoulder as she comes to lie next to you. Facing each other, you can see the conflict pass through her blue eyes as she brushes a thumb across your cheek, capturing an escaped tear.

“If you need to sleep, you can. I’ll be right here when you wake up,” she promises, watching as your eyes slowly start to close on command. Natasha continues to watch as your lashes flutter, a small smile spreading across her lips.

“How is she?” Wanda’s voice whispers from the doorway, Nat turns her head towards her girlfriend, her eyes softening.

“She was feeling a little woozy but I think she just needed some rest,” she explains, Wanda moves forwards and kisses Natasha briefly keeping her head close to the redhead for a moment.

“And how are you, my darling?” Natasha shrugs, turning to face you again as Wanda moves to lie on your other side smiling warmly as you seek her out even in your sleep, cuddling into her side.

“I’m doing okay, just knowing she’s here and safe it’s like I can suddenly breath again you know.” Wanda nods understanding her brief sense of loss and grief for you, the uncertainty of whether you would wake again still lingering. Natasha’s eyes rest upon your sleeping form as she continues to open up to the witch.

“I may not have the privilege of carrying a child but she gives me hope, that I can be that mother figure and not screw it up with my own past traumas,” Wanda smiles, as she glances down at you.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“Just so you know she is grounded for the next three years,” Natasha’s vows, although the teasing glint in her eyes shows she only half means it, making Wanda chuckle.

“I think you’ll have to get in line because her parents are on their way here,” Wanda informs, squealing as you suddenly sit upright, eyes wide at the mention of your parents.

“Shit! My parents!” you exclaims, groaning as you hold the side of your head feeling a sudden headache coming on, Wanda pats your back in sympathy.

“Don’t worry, Mysh. We’ve got your back,”

“Speak for yourself,” Nat mutters, grumpily. You turn your head to face her, a pout in place knowing it’s never a good sign when Natasha sides with your parents.

“Have already told you how sorry I am?” you ask, innocently making Nat grin mischievously.

Two weeks later

“One large pizza for the still grounded teenager,” Wanda teases, as she enters her shared living room with Natasha holding two boxes of pizza.

You turn your head from your sitting position on the floor as the smell hits your nose, wiggling your fingers towards them as you reach out for the top box. Sticking your tongue out at the avenger for her comment, you open up the lid and take a big sniff humming in delight at the greasy goodness.

“I’m going to forgive you for that comment. The pizza saved you this time, Maximoff,” you warn jokingly at the brunette as Natasha comes to sit next to you on the floor, her back leaning against the sofa. Wanda places a few slices onto her plate before curling up onto the single seat, her eyes full of fondness as she takes you both in, watching as you slap Nat’s hand away from your pizza slices.

“You guys know we have a couch you can sit on, right?” she teases, as you and Nat shrug stuffing the slice into your mouths eyes focused on the television.

“Come on, babe. Don’t be boring and join us,” Natasha entices, her eyes full of mischief as Wanda scoffs shaking her head.

“You both eat like animals. I’ll stay over here with my half of the pizza thank you very much,” she huffs but the glint in her eyes shows her amusement.

You all continue to munch happily on the cheesy slices as you and Natasha make ridiculous comments about the reality TV show that plays on the flat screen making you both laugh. Wanda smiles fondly enjoying the peace and the very normal atmosphere; being a well known superhero with many enemies makes moments like this rare so she remains quiet, that small smile playing on her lips as she observes her two favourite people in this rare domestic bliss knowing there’s no other place she’d rather be.

Tags: @waitingfortheendtocome @natasha-danvers @natasharomanoffswife @xxxtwilightaxelxxx

#natasha romanoff x wanda #Wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #wandanat #wandanat x reader #platonic!reader #marvel #wanda maximoff #natasha romanoff

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willwriteforhugs · 3 years

Text

ateez says “i love you” for the first time

ateez scenario - all members (individually) x reader

genre: fluff, angst if your vision is worse than 20/60

word count: 4k (total)

warnings: minor intrusive thoughts, some arguing and cursing

a/n: this fic should be taken lightheartedly! i really enjoyed writing this, but please remember that it is for entertainment purposes only. also beware: some of these are a bit longer than others? please know that it wasn’t intentional lol (no writer’s bias here!) also, the gif above does not belong to me! thank you so much for reading <3

hongjoong:

quiet, repetitive sound effects play through the outside of hongjoong’s headphones. you sigh, resting your head on his shoulder. even when your boyfriend isn’t working, he’s working.

you’d been together two months already, but sometimes you worried. he was so busy, and you knew it wasn’t his fault... but you weren't sure how he really felt about you. for you, the first few dates had been butterflies-in-the-stomach, giggling-like-crazy, head-over-heels-for-this-man type emotions. but as you sit in his studio on this saturday night, you start to wonder if he’d ever felt those things.

you tilt your head to look at him. god, he’s beautiful. those long lashes that you would absolutely kill for, his curious eyes... everything about him screamed “love of your life!!!”

hongjoong shifts in his seat, glancing down at you. he smiles a little, and plants a small kiss on your temple. “ten more minutes, my love. i’m almost done.”

you smile and nod sleepily.

the ten minutes pass in relative silence, minus joong’s music, which was accompanied by the tapping of his foot.

finally, he shuts his laptop. he stands up, returning to his desk to put everything back in order. you stay where you are, watching him.

after a moment, you stand up. “i’m gonna go heat up the car.”

he looks back at you, already protesting. “babe, you don’t need to do that. plus it’s late- i don’t want you out there all alone.”

“i’ll be okay, hongjoong. you know how cold that car will be.”

he holds your gaze for a moment. “alright.”

you turn to leave as he continues talking.

“i’ll be out in just a minute, okay? i love you.”

you freeze, halfway out the door. your head swivels back, and your boyfriend is staring at you with wide eyes, clearly catching what he’d said.

“what did you say?”

he’d said it in passing. of course he loves you, the same way hongjoong loves everyone, why would he-

“i said i love you,” he sighs. he sets down his bag and crosses the room in large strides. he comes to a stop in front of you, and lifts his hands to cradle your face. “and i meant it. i do. i didn’t mean to tell you like that, but- yeah. i love you.”

your voice cracks when you finally manage to speak. “i love you, too.”

seonghwa:

the heels of your boots make angry clicking sounds on the floor of the apartment complex. tears prick at your eyes, and you increase your pace.

just get through the door, y/n. don’t you dare cry in public.

work had been awful, of course. apparently, you’d made a mistake while filing paperwork last week, and now the whole office was behind, scrambling to make up for lost time. learning about your slip up had been hard enough. being absolutely screamed at by your boss had pushed you over the edge. you had managed to finish your hours, but now, you practically sprint for the safety of your apartment.

you take the stairs two at a time, dignity long abandoned. when you get to your front door, your hands shake trying to unlock it. a sob tears through your throat. why, god? what did i do to you?

the door finally swings open, and you stumble inside. kicking off your shoes, you walk straight to the bedroom, where you sink to the floor and begin to cry.

thump.

you raise your head. what the hell was that?

thump.

a beat passes, then a voice from the other room: “hello? y/n, is that you?”

the door to your bedroom opens, and there he is. seonghwa, your boyfriend of only three months, stands in the doorway. upon seeing you, his face cracks.

“y/n? babe, what happened? i thought i heard you get home, are you okay?”

hearing your boyfriend’s concern only made you cry harder. frantic, he hits the floor next to you and tugs your hands away from your face. “talk to me. what happened?”

your voice is croaky and broken, but you manage to recap the story from work. by the end of it, seonghwa looks almost as emotional as you do.

“what a douchebag. who does he think he is?”

you reach out and gently swat at his thigh. “don’t talk all big.”

he manages a small smile. “i’m sorry, y/n. tell me what you need right now. let me help you.”

“can... can you just hold me?”

this is something seonghwa knows how to do. he crawls over to you and leans against the bed, hugging you tightly from behind. “yes, i can do that.”

a beat passes.

“you know i love you, right?”

your heart skips a beat. he’d never said that before, not like this. but you don’t say anything. you reply by sinking deeper into his hold, letting out a long sigh.

he understands.

yunho:

“okay, seriously. where are we going?” you look over at your boyfriend, feeling the edges of anxiety begin to creep in.

yunho, who’s seated at the wheel of the car, looks over at you, his eyes crinkling slightly. a smile tugs at his lips. “why are you worried?”

you huff and slouch back in your seat. your seat belt digs into your shoulder, making you cringe. “i’m not worried.” you lie. “i just want to know where you’re taking me.”

“well, i already told you- it’s a surprise.”

“yes, but-” you hold up your hand, counting on your fingers. “it’s not my birthday. it’s not your birthday. it’s not a holiday. it’s not our anniversary. so. what is it?”

yunho glances at you again, exasperated. “you are so difficult. just let me treat you, you dumbass.”

“treat me? yunho-ah, i swear to god-”

“don’t! it’s nothing big! now shut up- you’re on talking restrictions.”

you gape at him. “talking restrictions? i’m not a six year old-”

“oh look, we're here!” your counterpart shouts over you. he turns the vehicle and pulls into a parking lot you don’t recognize. you peer out the window, craning your neck in order to see the building in front of you. “is this a hotel?”

yunho hums a confirmation. “your bag is in the back.”

- - -

ten minutes later, you find yourself standing in what’s probably the nicest hotel room you’ve ever graced. you gape at your boyfriend, hoping he realizes how crazy he is.

yunho sees your expression and laughs, his hand instinctively rising to cover his teeth. “do you like it?”

you stutter, unable to hide your surprise. “i- yes, of course. but, yunho, you said it wasn’t anything big!”

he laughs again. “nothing’s too big for you, love.”

your face flushes. god, you love him. yes, he is a hopeless romantic, and yes, he says cheesy things. but you’d been in love with him for a while now, you think. since before he’d even asked you out. you’d always admired him from afar, but yes- you know it was love all along.

“um. is there...a particular... reason? for this?” you manage. surely this isn’t as random as it seems.

yunho crosses the room to stand with you, wrapping his long arms around you. you step back in surprise. “yunho-ah?”

he buries his face in your neck, inhaling. “yeah, i-yeah. i guess i just wanted to say-” he pulls away to meet your eyes. “i just wanted to say- to show that i love you.”

you blink, and say the first thing you think of.

“thank you?”

yunho looks surprised for a moment- then bursts into laughter. you gasp, trying to backtrack. “wait- no- no i love you too,” you scramble.

yunho bends over, only laughing harder. “babe-” he says between wheezes. “that was so funny. i love you so much.”

you’re laughing too, now.

yeosang:

your finger traces circles on the fabric of the couch, and you sigh contentedly. you glance to your left, gazing up at your boyfriend, who’s scrolling on his phone. you and yeosang are only a few months into your relationship, but nights like this already feel so natural.

but looking up at him now, you can’t help but feel that something’s a bit off. you sit up, brushing his arm away from you. “yeosang?”

he looks up at you, eyes wide and curious. “what?”

“are you alright?”

he looks a bit taken aback. “what do you mean?”

“i don’t know, you just- you seem stiff. did something happen? or- was there something you needed to talk about?”

for a moment, he doesn’t answer. then he sighs, running a hand through his hair. “you’ve gotten really good at reading me, you know that?”

you tilt your head. “sure, i guess? what did you need to talk about?”

“oh, it’s just- um- something i wanted to say...” his voice trails off.

you lean forward, worried. “what?”

you’ve known yeosang so long, but you have no idea where he’s going with this. what if he wants to break up? what if he wants to go to third base? do people even say ‘third base’ anymore? what if-

“it’s just. um.” he pauses again, even after interrupting your thoughts. “iloveyou,” he says in a rush. as soon as the words leave his mouth, yeosang’s face turns beet red. his expression twists into a grimace.

you feel your own face betray your surprise. “wait, what?”

he won’t meet your eyes, but your heart speeds up. “yeosang-yah, what did you say?”

he responds in a mumble. “i said i love you.”

you feel so many things at once, and you want to say a million things. you’d dated before, but no one had ever told you they loved you. you feel your eyes begin to burn from withholding tears. “yeosang.”

he looks up at you, his eyes begging for something more.

“i love you too.” you cut him off before he can ask. “and before you ask- yes, i’m sure.”

you reach forward, running a finger down the side of his face. “you dumbass.”

his eyes widen in mock anger. “dumbass!? i can’t even-” he grabs your waist and shoves you back on the couch. “i can’t believe you!”

you burst into laughter. “big words for a man who’s just confessed his love!”

san:

“i don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”

you throw your hands in the air, exasperated.

san’s face flushes red. “well i don’t know what you want from me!”

your mouth drops open as he turns away. “no. no fucking way- you can’t walk in here and start a fight just to leave! you don’t know what you want from me? you started this!!”

your boyfriend turns to face you again. his eyes burn with barely controlled anger. “no- i wanted a civil conversation. you were the one who went and got all defensive.”

“san, you’re accusing me! how the hell am i supposed to respond?”

“i didn’t accuse you of anything. i asked you a damn question.”

“an accusatory question.”

san rolled his eyes with so much emotion it hurt to watch. you clench your hands. you couldn’t believe him. don’t misunderstand- you and san usually got along great, and the two of you had been in a steady relationship for a few months now. but san was so emotional- in a way you just weren't. you didn’t understand his emotional insecurities. so when he came home asking why you felt the need to ignore him in favor of your other friends- you couldn’t believe your ears.

back in the moment, you make a groaning sound. “san-ah,” you begin, trying to keep your voice even. “i just don’t understand what makes you think all that.”

san is still upset, clearly. he scoffs, tossing his head. “please, y/n- you’re always making excuses to leave, it’s like you don’t even want to see me!”

“but that’s not true!”

“just the other night you went out with friends, when i specifically said i wanted to be with you!”

“but san- i hardly see them either! you know how busy i am-”

“i’m even busier than you are!” he argues.

“don’t cut me off!” you seethe. “besides, why is it any business of yours when i want to go out? i don’t-”

“of course it’s my business!” san steps closer, pointing down at your chest. “it’s my business because i love you!”

your words die in your throat. “i...what?”

he loves you? now? he’d never told you that before...

what just happened?

san grimaces, and the anger leaves his face. his whole body seems to deflate.

your own pulse seems to slow down, and you sigh. san runs a hand through his hair, looking away.

“y/n, i... i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to-” he cuts himself off, as if afraid of his own words.

“san....”

“no, i’m sorry. i can’t believe i blew up like that.” he looks saddened as he takes a step towards you. his hand brushes your elbow, and you shut your eyes.

you hear him whisper; “can i hold you?”

you nod, then practically melt in his arms. “i’m sorry, too.” you mumble into his chest. for a moment, the two of you just stand there, letting the embrace linger.

“did...” you begin. “did you mean it? what you said?”

san pulls away to gaze into your eyes. he brushes a stray hair from your eyes.

“yeah. yeah, i did. i’m sorry i told you like that.”

you pause. “it’s okay. i love you too, though.”

for the first time tonight, your boyfriend smiles.

mingi:

it’s snowing. and for the first time this season, too. you can’t help but grin as you watch the snow fall, face peeking through the curtains.

“are you actually that excited?”

you turn to look mingi, your boyfriend, in the eye. “yes, yes i am. are you telling me you’re not?”

he smiles- a big, genuine smile, the one you’d grown to love more than anything. “no, i am. i’m gonna throw it at you, though. just a warning.”

you make a face, and turn back to the window. you and mingi had only been dating a few weeks, but you’d known each other much longer than that. though your relationship had only just begun, it felt like you’d been dating for years.

many of your girlfriends had said the beginning of a relationship was- while being the most fun part- also the most stressful. there was supposed to be a lot of pressure. but you didn’t feel that way with mingi. you had kissed him only when you felt comfortable, you had met his family only when you felt comfortable... though you hadn’t slept together yet, you felt no rush. part of you wondered if you were doing something wrong, but mingi seemed happy too, so you tried not to overthink it.

the snow continues to fall in large chunks. after a few moments of peace, you hear an odd shuffling behind you. you turn around, and mingi is standing there, wearing a full winter parka, looking like he was about to pick you up.

“dammit!” he curses. “i was gonna try to scare you.”

“ha-ha.” you deadpan.

“yeah, yeah. put this on.” he tosses your own coat at you, and gestures for you to hurry.

“hold on, you don’t actually want to go play in that, do you?”

“that’s exactly what we’re doing.”

you start to protest, but mingi cuts you off by snatching your coat back and zipping you in it himself. then he grabs you by the waist and drags you off the couch.

after several minutes of wrestling, you find yourself outside in the cold, sitting on your butt in a snowbank. “oh, it’s on, you little-”

mingi laughs and runs away, then picks up an armful of snow and tosses it in your face. you blink in shock, and he doubles over, laughing even harder than before.

“song mingi! you have some nerve!”

the next 15 minutes consist of you and mingi trying to see how much snow you could force onto the other, along with the occasional laugh break.

finally, mingi collapses onto his back in the snow, breathing heavily. you plop down next to him, giggling.

“i hate you,” you say between hiccups of laughter.

he turns and grins at you, before turning his face to the sky. “well, i love you.”

you catch his eye, unsure that you heard him correctly. “come again?”

“i love you!” he shouts at the sky, then rolls over to meet your gaze. before you can manage an answer, he leans over and presses his cold lips against yours.

wooyoung:

you take another deep breath, determined to keep your heart rate down.

you are going to do fine. it’s just one interview...

oh, but you really want this job. what if you do terribly?

you shove the thought out of your head. you glance at the clock. 10:56. 19 minutes until you either do amazing or fuck up your entire career. you reach over and pick up your phone. you’d left early, so should you just try to kill the time?

you have a text. it’s from wooyoung, your boyfriend.

wooyoung: hey

wooyoung: if you see this before your interview call me

you wonder what he could possibly need from you right now, but you hit dial anyways.

you and wooyoung were... a lot. for a while, you’d been in a “relationship that’s not really a relationship” type of thing... but he’d only officially asked you out a few weeks ago. you liked him a lot, actually. you loved how outgoing he was, and how much he seemed to care about you. and his friends were nice. plus, he was- well- not bad on the eyes.

he picks up on the second ring. “hey!”

“hi?” you ask. “was there something you needed?”

on the line, wooyoung fakes a gasp. “i can’t just talk to you whenever i want?”

“you asked me to call you.”

“whatever.”

you sigh, laughing a little.

“anyways,” he continues. “i just wanted to see how you were doing. i know you were worried.” your heart flutters at the thought that he was thinking of you now. but the interview...

“oh.” your mind turns back to the event to come. “right. uh, i’ll be okay.”

“are you sure?”

“yes, wooyoung. i mean, i’m definitely nervous, and i can think of 1000 ways this could go wrong, but overall, i’m alright!”

your boyfriend laughs. “i know. really, i know you’ll do well. you’re one of the smartest people i know- they’d be fools to turn you down.”

- - -

three hours later, you sit at your kitchen table, mindlessly picking at your lunch. across from you, wooyoung looks concerned.

“baby, is the food bad, or...?”

you look up. “no! no, not at all! i’m just- i’m just not very hungry.”

wooyoung’s eyes crinkle with sympathy. “you’re nervous?”

yes. yes, of course. you have no idea how that interview went. but you were positive that the man in the grey suit hated your guts, even though-

“y/n-ah,” your boyfriend calls you back down to earth. “it’ll be fine. please eat.”

you shove some of the food into your mouth, more to satisfy him than yourself. suddenly, your cell phone rings. the sound makes you jump. you pull it out answering it automatically. “yes?”

as the voice on the other end of the line talks, you nearly drop your chopsticks. wooyoung leans forward, trying to eavesdrop, and you shoo him away.

a minute passes, and you slowly lower your phone as the woman on the line ends the call. your boyfriend is staring at you.

“who was that?”

your voice is froggy. “wooyoung- i got the job.”

a beat passes, then he leaps up. “you- you did?!? i knew it! oh my god!” he grabs your wrists and yanks you out of your seat. he spins you in a frantic circle, ending it by slamming you into his chest, hugging you hard.

“i knew you could do it, baby. wow, i love you so much.”

your heart skips a beat at these words, but wooyoung himself doesn’t seem to catch them- he keeps talking, because that’s just who he is. but you don’t miss it.

you know he meant it.

jongho:

“boom! look at that one!” you laugh, fitting together another set of puzzle pieces.

jongho, your boyfriend, glances over, letting a small smile escape his lips. “it’s upside down, babe.”

you look back down at the pieces, realizing he’s right.

“oops.” you giggle, flipping them upright. “i think they do go on the left, though.”

you’d been so excited for today. you had done nothing all morning, only being able to think about what you were going to do with your boyfriend later. nowadays, with ateez’s popularity, you had very little alone time with jongho. you’d only been dating a short while- but you still wanted to see him as often as possible.

so when he’d come up to your apartment holding a jigsaw puzzle, you immediately agreed to participate. you’d never been particularly good at puzzles, but jongho seemed to enjoy them. it’s the calm, you think. there’s a lot of chaos in his day to day job, so it’s really not surprising that he enjoys things like this.

you watch his hands as they roam across the table, searching for edge pieces.

he has such beautiful hands.

“oh, y/n-ah- can you hand me that one there? the blue?”

you hand him the cutout. “what is this supposed to be again?”

“uuh-” jongho hesitates, glancing at the discarded box on the floor. “an alaskan sunset?”

the two of you meet eyes, then look at the table. he bursts into laughter. “are we doing something wrong? alaskan sunset...” he manages.

god, his smile. you love his smile, probably more than anything. you didn’t see it too often- that full, gummy smile of his. your heart flutters as you watch him laugh.

he meets your eyes again. “how are we bad at this? it’s a puzzle!”

“well, it’s your puzzle, and it’s 2000 pieces! who willingly does 2000 piece puzzles?!” you begin to laugh too.

jongho’s chuckling ceases, and he reaches over to grasp your wrist. he places a gentle kiss on your knuckles. “i love to see you laugh like that.”

you feel your face burst into flames. you sheepishly try to pull your hand back. “jongho-yah...”

he smiles again and tugs you closer, placing his forehead against yours. for a moment, he just looks into your eyes, his own sparkling with curiosity and adoration. then he closes his eyes and leans in, pressing his warm lips against yours.

the kiss is tentative, inviting. you lean into it, hoping he catches on. he does- he begins to kiss you harder, parting your lips with his own. this goes on for a moment before he pulls away.

you almost whine, wishing he hadn’t ended it so quickly. but looking at him, you can see his face is red, and he won’t meet your eyes. before you can truly wonder about his well-being, jongho comes in again, stopping just before his lips meet yours.

he looks down at the floor, his lips barely brushing yours. “y/n.”

you make a small “hmm?” noise.

his words come out in a low whisper. “i think i’m in love with you.”

you almost jerk back in surprise. but instead, you let a beat pass in silence. then you lean forward, pressing a kiss to his chin. “and i think i’m in love with you.”

<333

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