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#fellowship of the ring

Our hobbit quartet left Tom Bombadil’s and almost immediately got kidnapped by wights. Tom to the rescue again. This time he stays with them until the reach the road, which he maybe should have done from the beginning, but whatever. It’s amazing that they condensed almost half of the book to such a small part in the movie.

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If I Were A Hobbit

If I were a hobbit

In the Shire of old

I’d sit round the fire

As the stories were told

Of Frodo and Sam and the Ring of gold.

I would run and play

In the stream so clear

With all my hobbit friends so dear.

We would hunt for mushrooms under the trees,

Our hair blowing in the cool breeze.

My hobbit hole would be cozy and dry

With a special window where I could see the sky.

It would be slightly cluttered,

But it wouldn’t be cold

If I were a hobbit

In the Shire of old.

-old poem I wrote in highschool

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Lord of the rings AU where everything is the same but the fellowship travel in a family van

Aragorn is the designated driver with the driving skills of a rambunctious off-roader.

Gandalf occasionally takes the wheel but is often bullied off of it by Merry & Pippin due to his slow driving and shit sense of direction.

Boromir can only drive if he’s singing at the same time. Also, makes way too many stops at the service stations for the hobbits.

Legolas does not know how to drive and prefers to remain passenger with the window rolled all the way down.

Gimli is a great driver but the van is way too big for him. He spends the entire trip mumbling about the unfairness of it all. Further grumbling at Legolas for keeping the window open when there’s perfectly good air conditioning !!

Hobbits eat McDonald’s in the back. Merry can’t keep his fucking seatbelt on and Pippin always needs to pee. Sam gets motion sickness way too often and Frodo is either napping or staring solemnly out of the window.

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