#felt a bit sad for her after i drew that last one so that’s why i did a letter too lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plutowon · 6 months

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enhypen as mythical / supernatural

creatures ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

pairing: enhypen x gn!reader

genre: fantasy, fluff

warnings: blood mention, fantasy violence, reader is somewhat described as short ?

happy halloween!!

🍰 ೄ🩰ྀ࿐ 🧸ˊˎ-

heeseung- banshee

heeseung was always emotional.

that’s how you met him.

sitting atop of the old hill in the town park he cried and wailed with flowers clutched in his hands. you being the kind and gentle spirit you were, went up to ask him what was wrong, to which he responded “i don’t know”. usually when people see heeseung they don’t mistake him for human. your approach startled him a bit, even more so when you grabbed his cold dead hands and drew him into a hug.

you run your fingers through his hair and tell him everything is gonna be okay. then, you took him out to eat. of course you two got a few stares—holding hands with a banshee tends to draw in attention—but you seemed not to notice. you hold his hand and listen to his sorrows. you caress his cheek and you don’t flinch at the lack of body heat, paying no mind to the coldness that surely makes your hands freeze slightly.

mourning death all his life, he finds your kindness and comfort refreshing.

your boyfriend is a bit pessimistic. he looks at the glass half empty rather than half full. like when you watched coraline for the first time and he cried for half the movie believing there was no way she’d make it out of the beldam‘s hands alive. or when he sulked for half a day because he felt the sad lady from next door would never find love, resulting in the death of her love life. you told him to keep his head up and a week later, she comes into your home, bringing cookies and talking about a handsome man she met two nights prior. heeseung supposes there are some happy endings. but even so, he’s sweet and sings you songs all the time. his favorite thing to do is sing you lullabies and watch your sleep consume you. you look so beautiful while you dream, he wishes he could be in your dreams with you. he wonders what you dream about. he wonders if your dreams are as beautiful as you are. you like to take him on happy adventures and show him the world is not as bleak and depressing as it seems. you did make the mistake of taking him to a theme park, more specifically the rollercoaster, where he cried and called it a big death and torture machine. even if you left him outside he refused to let you ride it by yourself, certain that you’d fly out and die (he saw it on the news). needless to say that was the last time you went to six flags…disney world was fun though! you try to make him try new things as much as possible. heeseung finds it exciting. he looks forward to your little rendezvous.

he still cries and wails, mourns death every sunday at the top of the old hill, but after all his pain and anguish has been tossed into the atmosphere, he comes home to your warm and loving arms, where you hold him with love.

jay- ghost

you knew your house was haunted. you knew the moment you walked in with the realtor. would that stop most people from renting a house? absolutely. did it stop you? no.

the house was dirt cheap and you really needed a place to stay after your ex boyfriend kicked you out of the house. your parents are 900 miles away and you’ll be damned if a little ghost made you sleep in boxes on the street until you could get a plane ticket.

jay’s first attempt to scare you ended in a scoff. you laughed at him. how insulting. but it doesn’t get any better when he ramps up the scare factor. he’ll get you to jump, maybe a tiny shriek, only for you to come back and be like “wow that one was really good you’re getting better” with a smile etched into your face. seriously, what the hell was wrong with you? why was it so hard to scare you out of his house? he tried everything from making your dishes fly to making the lights flicker to making you see visions of dead people but nothing worked. he even flinged your knives into the wall (not that he would ever physically hurt you but perhaps if you thought he would you’d finally leave…you did not).

one night though, he shows you his face through the bathroom mirror. instead of a scream, you swoon, clasping your hands together across your chest. you call him handsome and beg to see him again. you beg for days and days. it tires him out, so he appears again. he’s much taller than you, which has you giggling and twirling your hair before you offer him a shy “hi”. he thinks you’re insane.

your ghost boyfriend has now devoted his already dead life to protecting you from other supernatural entities. once, a goblin came into your house unannounced and…well jay didn’t take too kindly to that. he gets jealous when you have friends over. perhaps it’s the fact that your friends have physical bodies to touch you. not that you can’t feel his touch, but it’s not the same. he also just doesn’t like mortals entering his property, and he’s now extended that possessiveness to you. he’s still sweet though. watches over you while you sleep to make sure no demons come by. most creatures that come by don’t expect jay to be so tough and intimidating–he’s just a ghost–but they always end up leaving the house in fear, trembling. he has a habit of sneaking up on you to tickle you, the sound of your laughter that once filled him with rage now fills him with glee. he wishes he could feel you better, but still, he loves the touch of your skin. his favorite time to see you is in your dreams, where you are both on equal planes. he can feel your soft hands, kiss your pretty lips, and have normal dates with you. it’s also great that he can defy laws of reality.

jay has been dead for years and years now, but having you in his home makes him feel alive once more.

jake- angel

you meet jake while he’s on a thrilling adventure exploring the mortal world. he bumps into you at the mall, knocking you over. of course, being the literal angel that he is, he helps you up. you’re just a small fragile human—he could’ve killed you for goodness sake! (he couldn’t have but he still believes he could’ve)— he calls you gorgeous, as he failed to realize that most humans tend to restrain from saying every thought that comes to their mind, no matter how good the thought may be. but to his luck, you blush and say thank you and he thinks you’re the cutest flower he’s ever seen. you give him your number on the back of a receipt and jake is too ecstatic to realize…ah…he doesn’t have a phone.

he buys one just for you though! and after that you two are inseparable. jake being the literal angel that he is, takes care of you like his life depends on it. your sick? jake’s here. hard time with school? jake’s here. your friend’s being a bitch? jake will be there to listen intently to allll your drama, and not just because he’s a little nosy.

of course, he’s begged god to make him your guardian angel, to which god reluctantly agreed, so long as he does not take his guardian duties too far or too lightly. there’s also monthly check-ins with the head guardian angels to make sure jake doesn’t go too far. you ask him if it’s too much of a burden, to which he smiles and tells you he couldn’t be happier.

he’s still a bit naive when it comes to humans. he doesn’t often think that human beings can be so cruel and evil, but when he witnesses this firsthand, he’s worried about you! what if you fall victim to these cruel and heinous creatures! his fragile little flower…he’d never forgive himself. he protects you with his life. he asks you a great many questions about human beings and their history, what they’re like and such. you think it’s cute. jake is so sweet it makes your teeth ache.

the first time he shows you his wings you’re in awe of the way they span across his back. they’re big enough to be a makeshift shield. his beautiful pure white feathers are soft to the touch. you run your fingers along the point in which his wings sprout from his back only for jake to laugh and fall to the floor. ah, he’s ticklish. he loves to hold you with his wings and shield you from the world. just the two of you together. per his guiding duties, he’s a little bossy. he tries to steer you away from bad decisions and protect your pure innocent eyes from seeing horrendous things, which you appreciate, but you also wish he would let you go crazy and stupid. you know, for the plot.

your cute angel boyfriend may think you to be the most delicate dove in the whole world, but you also can’t help but hold him close to prevent him from flying away. he holds you against him with his wings covering over you so you can rest easy. he’s not going anywhere.

sunghoon- siren

sunghoon has no intention of drawing anybody into his waters, but when he sees you on the sand he can’t help but stare. when you lock eyes with him, he knows it’s wrong to tempt and tease you, but he’s selfish by nature and he wants you all to himself. you must forgive him for this.

you are his most valuable treasure.

when you’ve submerged yourself into the water and make it to his arms, he sings to you. he holds you tightly and carries you across the waves and you both fall in love together in the deep, salty waters that you don’t even realize you’re in right now. he brings you back to the sand, kisses your legs and hands all the way up to you forehead, but your lips are left lonely. he makes you a promise. till death do you part and you shall see him again.

surprisingly enough, the next time you see sunghoon is on land with two legs. of course, you question him and he laughs at your innocence, “yes, my love, i can walk”. the shocked expression on your face is too cute. he kisses your nose and you shyly hide yourself in his chest. he finds the way your cheeks heat up magical. sunghoon is a siren that hides upon humans before he makes his way back to his home sweet home, the chilling sea.

dating sunghoon obviously entails walks on the beach while the sun sets. he loves watching the moon rise with you, loves the way you look when the light hits your pretty face. he always sings you songs. karaoke at least twice a week is definitely a must. he loves hearing your voice too, whether you’ve been singing for 15 years or 5 months, he loves it. he loves to tease you. loves the way he can fluster you just by staring at you for a bit too long. it gives him a huge ego boost. the way you melt into his touch makes him sore, he feels like he’s become a creature of the land, sea, and sky. when he does go back into his waters, he misses you. longs for the hours in which he can see you again. he loves when you visit him so he can swim with you and hold you for just a bit longer. you find that sunghoon likes to be up at night. you find that usually he comes to you in the late afternoon or at night. he brings you beautiful jewelry and treasures. pearl necklaces and pearl embroidered dresses. gorgeous hand held mirrors and diamond earrings. how he obtained the items is something you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about. he loves to spoil you rotten. when you do see him during the day, he just wants to cuddle up against you and rest.

being lovers of different domains is hard, but to sunghoon, loving you is the easiest thing he’s ever done. to him, you’re more valuable than all the jewels in the world combined.

sunoo- dragon

you should not be in this cavern alone all by yourself. this you know, but cannot bring yourself to care. you’re far too curious to stop now. but when you’re deep into the cavern, you see something glow in the distance. you walk closer, too close, and you hear a loud growl. which makes you jump back. there that stares as you is a fierce dragon. he inches closer and closer to you as you tremble in fear. he asks what you’re after, to which you panicked and told him you were just nosy and thought this was where your peers were meeting to share their secrets.

he looks at you quizzically and sighs before he turns into a much smaller man.

although he’s still bigger than you, almost towers over you and his shoulder span is twice as big as yours, it’s still much less anxiety-inducing than a big fire breathing dragon.

especially because he’s gorgeous.

he gives you a death glare that has your knees weak. he rolls his eyes at your shameless display of attraction before he takes your hand and pulls you, guiding you out of the cavern. to sunoo’s surprise, you keep talking. you ask him questions, ask him about what he does, tell him about your life, and sunoo would like to say he doesn’t care, but he does. a lot. when he leads you out, you promise him you’ll be back. he gives no visible reaction, but inside he smiles a little bit. your warm his heart.

your boyfriend would describe human beings as incompetent and selfish beings—minus you, of course—and you tell him he should be more open minded, but sunoo has dealt with (and severely injured) a great many humans that don’t know their place. you think it’s cute. you call him your hot emo boyfriend, something sunoo thinks is annoying and corny but he endures it for you. he’s snappy, takes no shit. he’s more patient with you, but the average worthless human being that tried it with him? it takes everything in him not to burn their eyebrows off. thank god he has you. if not, he’d probably burn your city to the ground. he’s also grateful, but concerned that you find his temper attractive. perhaps he should send you to a therapist.

his favorite thing is when you think you’re being sneaky and you creep in his cavern while he’s sleeping and slip yourself between his body and his tail and cuddle up against him, falling asleep until he wakes you up. he finds it adorable. he loves to guard you with his tail. loves how safe and secure you feel around him. despite what others might think, sunoo is incredibly caring. before you leave the house he makes sure you’ve got yourself together. tidies up and smooths out your clothes, tucks your hair behind you ear if it’s down and makes sure it’s out of your face. he cooks for you, cleans with you, and makes sure you’re safe and happy.

although sunoo usually hates being disturbed, he’s glad you woke him up that day. because of you, he always has something to look forward to. and if he can help it, for the rest of your day’s you’ll always have someone to protect you…and someone to burn the hair off your enemies.

jungwon- fairy

the leaves and sticks crunch beneath your feet and you find a place in the forest where the sun’s light seems to beam down brighter than the rest of the forest. the sun feels nice on your skin. you take in the smooth air and breath out, content.

when you turn around, you see a man with beautiful translucent wings that glitter yellow, but the tips of his wings are pink. he looks at you wide eyed. his smiles before he runs up to you, taking you in his arms and spinning you around, “oh my god, a human! you’re sososososososo cute~~”, he goes on and on excitedly. he sits you on his lap, inspecting every aspect of you from your cute little nose to your pretty eyes to how ticklish you are. you truly are the most adorable thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. unfortunately–or fortunately, i should say–because of fairies interest in humans, he’s decided that you are his human and his only, like a little kitten he gets to love and take care of! it’s a dream come true.

he takes you deeper into his side of the forest, where jungwon’s fairy friends come up to you both and ask about you in awe. when they try to touch you though, he swats them away and hisses at them…you had no idea fairies had fangs… .when you tell him you must go home, his face falls for a second before he smiles again and says you may go, so long as he get to go with you. and when his wings flutter happily and he’s bouncing, how could you say no?

although jungwon has declared that you are his cute little human that he shall protect and care for, outside of the forest, you find yourself being the one watching over him. you no longer allow candy in the house because if it’s in a 10 mile radius jungwon will eat it all, resulting in a very sugar high fairy bouncing off your walls. before jungwon had a concept of human society, he went inside of a candy store and ransacked the place…never had you imagined yourself in a police station like this. it didn’t help that jungwon kept asking the cops about scary criminal stories and why and what a taser was for. they ended up letting him go on a warning. being around a lot of humans is also very exciting for jungwon…but he had no concept of personal space. he used to go up to random people and inspect them, pointing out his observations to you. he did this especially when he saw pretty humans, which made you a little jealous but he assured you that you were the prettiest, most adorable human in the world.

in the forest, he is much more protective and possessive. no other fairy is allowed within 10 feet of you and touching you is a crime punishable by death. though, he doesn’t like other humans touching you either, he’s more lenient with them. one unlucky human tried to kiss your cheek and almost got his face bitten off…never happened again. and of course, he takes you flying across the sky.

to jungwon, you are the most precious thing in the world, his most prized possession from the moment he met you. and although he believes your his little baby, you know he’s just as much your baby as you are his.

niki- vampire

niki is very clumsy for a vampire, if he’s being honest.

he’s trying hard to beat the edward allegations, but perhaps he should learn how to prioritize because while he’s growling and tearing up in the woods, ripping bark off trees to chew on to dull the ache in his teeth he makes eye contact with a very pretty person, watching him in awe. awkwardly, he spits the bark out of his mouth, his glowing red eyes still looking at you. he tries to think of anything to ease the tension, so he asks you if you come here often. to his surprise, you say yes. you ask why he’s chewing tree bark to which he, embarrassed, says “i’m teething..”

you coo.

you come up to him and ask to see his fangs. you ask him if it hurts. he kicks the dirt under his shoes and nods. he licks them and takes a blood substitute for kids box out of his pocket.

you think he’s so cute. he thinks it’s annoying how you’re cooing at him when you’re a foot shorter than him but he loves the positive attention. you drag him to a target. he notes how small your hand is in his and squeezes it a little harder. you take him to the wooden spoons. you give him one to chew on and take him back to the checkout, where you scan it out and pay. now he shouldn’t have to rip the bark off trees. niki promises to repay you, writing his phone number in your phone before he takes off because his mom was gonna kill him for being out at 1 in the morning.

niki loves to visit you at your window at night. he’ll tap on it lightly and wait for you to answer. he asks how you are, if you’re safe and if any other vampires have tried to mess with you, to which you giggle and tell him no. he loves to sit and cuddle with you, of course he prefers to be big spoon, but if you pout and say please he’ll give you anything you ask, even if little spoon is embarrassing for him. you spend a good amount of time teasing him, but when he teases you back, suddenly, you’re quiet and he loves it. he loves to pinch your cheeks and carry you on his back. he loves knowing you can depend on him. niki’s very soft with you so you often forget he possesses superhuman strength. a man made the mistake of putting his arm around you and ended up in the hospital with broken ribs once… .he gets shy asking if he can feed off you. he feels bad about it even when you assure him it’s fine. after he’s done, he makes sure you’re taken care of. licks your wounds to the speed up the healing process and gives you a little snack with juice before he cuddles you and soothes you to sleep.

niki’s very clumsy for a vampire, but his love and devotion to you comes to him as naturally as breathing does. he will love you till the end of time.

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milo-manheim-luver · 8 months

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Lips of An Angel- Drew Starkey x Fem!Reader

summary: based on the song Lips Of An Angel by Hinder. (take a listen! i recommend it!!) Y/N drunkenly calls up her ex boyfriend drew, to confess her love she still has for him and all her regrets from their past relationship.

warnings: odessa…., alcohol consumption, emotional cheating (if you even call it that), angst, a tad of fluff if you squint, slight mentions of physical/mental/emotional abuse (not from drew), lmk if i forgot anything bc i’m sure i did lol.

a/n: for starters…. i’ve been waiting to write this one and i was gonna do it for rafe first but it just felt more right to do drew lol. also please don’t come at me for the way i put odessa in this. (personal opinion: i don’t think they’re really a thing irl but whatever). for the sake of this fic i had to put her in it to work as she’s the only prominent female in his life besides his sisters so bare with me please. (personally not a fan of her for my own reasons and things i’ve read) hope you all enjoy this one!

revised and edited by the one and only @slut4drudy ilyyyyy

as drew had just put the last of the champagne glasses into the sink from his and odessa’s small get together with friends, he could hear his phone ringing that all too familiar ringtone… the ringtone he had set for only her. he thought to himself… how strange it’d be for her to call him at such an absurd hour after not talking to one another in two years.

him and Y/N had began to date their senior year of college at western carolina university, and just like every college couple, they eventually broke it off a few years later. it had been a mutual agreement when he got cast on netflix’s show, outer banks, as she didn’t want to hold him back any longer from achieving all the goals she knew he would. the two however kept in contact regularly until none at all just two years ago when she’d started dating her now boyfriend maverick. and from what Y/N seen drew had also moved on… to his costar odessa.

“hey, uh drew your phone is ringing. do you want me to get it?” odessa asked drew as he finished washing the champagne flutes, drying his hands hurriedly with the towel next to the sink.

“uh, nah, um i’ll go answer it. it might be my mom. you know her and not being able to sleep and missing her kids. i’m just gonna go in the reading room and take the call. i’ll be back out in twenty. sound good?” he asked warily.

“yeah yeah take your time. tell her i said hi for me” she smiled as his towering figure walked past her frame and into the living room, picking his phone up. his large thumb moved nimbly against his phones screen to answer the call from Y/N as he entered the reading room, plopping on the couch.

“h-honey, why you callin me so late? it’s kinda hard to talk right now” he stuttered out her pet name he hadn’t called her in years. all he received in return were her soft sobs from the other line. those little soft sobs shattered his heart. the last time he’d heard them was because of him. because he had spoke the idea of maybe they should break up. because he didn’t know if he could do the long distance relationship, and Y/N had just agreed. no hesitation because she wanted whatever would make him happy. and if that meant breaking up with her and breaking her heart, then so be it. she wanted what was best for him because she loved him.

“honey, why are you crying? is everything okay?” drew whispered out through the phone to his broken ex in an uneasy tone, as his jaw clenched. he hated the idea of her being sad. he always had.

“w-why are you whispering?” she sighed as more tears streamed down her face.

drew bit his lip, exhaling a huff of hot air he hadn’t known he was holding before speaking, “i gotta whisper because i can’t be too loud.”

“why? i-im sorry. i shouldn’t have called. this was so fucking stupid” Y/N slurred out into her end of the phone, catching drew’s attention.

“oh, well, my girls in the next room” he spoke as he paused to let her speak.

“like i-i said… this was st-stupid of me” she slurred out again before continuing, “you’re moved on. i get it”

“honey, Y/N, it’s not like that. i swear. s-shes not even my girlfriend” he tried to elaborate before she cut him off.

“then why’d you call her your girl?”she challenged.

“baby, you’re drunk. i can tell by the way you’re slurring your words. what’s wrong? why’d you call?” drew tried to deflect the question and ask the more important questions; why she’d called and why she’d been crying.

“answer my questions first please” she hiccuped through her phone and into his ear.

“we haven’t put a label on it. in all seriousness i don’t even know what i want. i don’t even think she knows what she wants. it’s more of a friends with benefits kind of deal” he sighed out as his left index finger and thumb pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed once more, contemplating to speak what he’d been thinking for awhile now. “but honey, if i’m being serious, sometimes i wish she was you”

“i wish i was her too” Y/N whimpered out as she took a gulp of the vodka from the bottle she’d been coddling in her arms, sitting on the bathroom floor, hiding from maverick.

“i guess we never really moved on… did we?” he chuckled out, causing Y/N to smile at the sweet sound of his chuckle. it was bliss to her ears. she’d missed that sound so much in the last two years.

“now answer my question honey, what’s wrong? why’re you calling so later? isn’t it like after 1am there back home in charlotte. right?” he asked Y/N in a concerned tone, face scrunching up in worry as well, though she couldn’t see it.

“u-um. drew it doesn’t matter. forget i called you. okay?” Y/N tried to deflect his concerning questions he’d been shooting her way since the call had started.

“Y/N, honey. i’m not hanging up until you tell me what’s got you so bent out of shape that you’re drunk off your ass, drunk calling me at 1 am your time all while sobbing. i just won’t” he huffed out, losing his patience in the girl on the other line.

“joseph” she began to slur, sternly, “i said it doesn’t matter. go back to your girl or whatever the fuck she is to you” she hiccuped yet again.

“fuck, i cant believe i’m about to say this right now, but it’s really good to hear your voice sayin’ my name. it sounds so sweet” drew smiled to himself as he softly giggled. maybe it was from the champagne he’d had earlier or maybe it was the blissfulness from just hearing Y/N oh so sweet voice saying his name again.

“i love you” Y/N slurred out once more as she started to cry again. “i’ve never stopped” she continued. “i thought i could and would move on but i cant and it hurts me that we aren’t a thing anymore” she continued to weep.

“honey don’t say that. please” he frowned as his heart cracked yet again over his ex girlfriend and her words. more like over her admittance of missing him so much still even after all these years.

“why not, drew? it’s the truth” she sniffled as she wiped her runny nose with the sleeve of his old college sweatshirt she’d still kept after all these year even after their breakup. she picked the bottle of vodka back up and took another swig of it.

“those words…. fuck. they’re coming from the lips of an angel baby. and hearing those words, it’s makes me so fucking weak. because as much as i want to be with you… i cant” he sighed as a single tear streamed down his stubbled cheek, not even bothering to wipe it away. he soon continued, “i never want to say goodbye, honey. and it’s so fucking hard to admit that. but, girl, you make it hard to be faithful with the lips of an angel” he dryly chuckled as the memories of their kisses ran through his brain. it still felt so real. the longing to be near her was still there. and the butterflies. and the desire to make her happy. and the want to make her feel safe and loved.

“drew, you’re the one who just said you guys aren’t even a thing so why would you even say that?” Y/N croaked out as she wiped more of her tears away.

“it’s complicated honey. i feel obligated to be faithful even if her and i aren’t really officially a thing. now please for the love of god, baby, why are you crying? what’s wrong? what happened?” drew exerted his concern as his eyebrows scrunched together in worry.

“i- uh, drew you cant do anything about it, so it doesn’t matter” she whimpered in a whisper, reaching for the bathroom door knob to make sure it was in fact locked. she squeezed her eyes shut as soon as she heard mavericks yells from their kitchen.

“you know, it’s funny that you called me tonight, Y/N/N, because we had some friends over and the whole time i was just thinking of you and how you’ve been. i haven’t heard from you in two years, hunny” drew whispered, his voice strained from the way his heart clenched in pain at the lack of communication between the two when they had both promised to keep in contact.

“maybe that’s why i dream of you. you know what they say, if you dream of someone that means they’re thinking of you. do you dream of me too?” she spoke shakily, as her jaw began to quiver, biting back yet another sob.

“what about maverick? and yes i’ve dreamt of you too, love. i do often” he confessed as he thought back to his dream he had of her from the other night. the two of them had gone on a picnic in the mountains back in their home state of north carolina, enjoying the scenery and all it had to offer, that was until he was awoken by odessa’s loud alarm blaring throughout his bedroom. drew’s lips parted once more as he spoke again, “and does he know you’re talking to me? will it start a fight?”

“th-that’s why i-i uh called. he… uh he got mad again and s-started to throw some things around the kitchen. h-he said some things which isn’t out of the ordinary with him” her frail voice cracked as she finally admitted to him why she had called him so late in the first place. tears once again started pouring out of her once bright eyes which have now been filled with void. “he drinks… a lot. and when he does… he gets kinda aggressive. he will do things to me and say horrible things as well. i-i called you tonight because i’m drunk and i miss you and i know you’d never do this shit to me and because you listen. so well. you always have” she began to cry again for what felt like the twelfth time that night.

“honey, what are you talking about? has he hit you? do you have a place to go?” drew shot up at the mention of mavericks behavior coming from Y/N. he was on high alert and wanted nothing more than to protect her at that instant.

“i shouldn’t have even called. does odessa even know you’re on the phone with me? i don’t want her to get mad at you. i shouldn’t have even called” Y/N stumbled over her words due to the excessive amounts of alcohol she’d been drinking and maybe even a mix of anxiety.

“no, i don’t think she has a clue. i told her it was probably my mom, but, i knew it was you. i still have your number saved to my phone… with your ringtone too. couldn’t get myself to delete it, even after all these years” he confessed as he ran a hand through his shaggy hair. he bit his lip in frustration before speaking sternly this time around, “Y/N, honey, tell me…. has he fucking hit you?”

“y-yes. but he didn’t mean to” she tried to excuse her boyfriends actions, though deep down she knew it was a lie. “and yeah if i have to i can go to my brothers but i don’t need anyone’s fucking help or pity” she blurted a little loud.

“fuck, Y/N” he sighed as fresh tears broke his waterline of his azul eyes, his jaw clenched tight.

“it’s okay, drew, i promise. i’m not your problem anymore. i haven’t been for four years now.” she expressed as she drank the last bit of the vodka that was left in the bottle.

“Y/N can you do one thing for m-“ drew was cut off by a soft knock on the reading rooms door, notifying him that someone ,odessa, was on the other side.

“hey, uh you almost done? it’s getting late and i wanna go to bed” she complained to drew as he’d pulled his phone away from his attentive ears.

“u-uh yeah. let me tell my mom goodnight real quick” he stuttered nervously, worried she’d been ease dropping on part of the private conversation he’d been having on the phone with Y/N. and with that odessa nodded her head as she left the room, shutting the door as she went.

“what is it that you want me to promise you?” Y/N sniffled.

“call me if it gets bad again. i’ll fly out there immediately”

“i promise.”

“i never wanna say goodbye” he admitted to her after her promise.

“i don’t either, but you have to” she spoke flatly as she’d just heard Odessa moments before. she opened her mouth, speaking one last line, “i love you drew”

“i-i love you too honey” drew spoke the words he’d been bottling up since the day the two broke up, as fresh tears streamed down his stubbled cheeks. during the moment he spoke those words all he could hear were mavericks yells and bangs onto the bathroom door through his phone, before the call ended all together.

taglist: @slut4drudy @runningfrom2am @maybankslover

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topguncortez · 1 year

Text

What to Expect | Chapter 14

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake enjoys a day golfing with the guys, while you receive some shocking news.

word count: 4.1k

warnings: smut, pregnancy, cursing, questions of paternity unrequited love, fighting, mentions of blood work, mentions of abuse

“Fuck, that’s it,” Jake moaned as the grip on your hips tightened. You placed your hands on his chest to help you keep your balance as you rode him, “Oh fuck, ‘m not gonna last.”

Ever since that disastrous dinner at your parents house, you and Jake became insatiable. That night was the first night in nearly nine months that Jake had touched you like that, kissed you like that, loved you like that. He was a little scared at first, he didn’t want to hurt the baby or anything, but Doctor Miller assured you both that it was okay to have sex while this close to your due date. In fact, it might even help you deliver on time.

“Jake,” You cried out, feeling his cock start to twitch inside you, “Help, please.”

“I got you baby,” Jake answered, taking one of his hands and going in between yours and his bodies, circling your clit. You yelped at the feeling, arching your back in pleasure, “There ya go baby, I got you. Cum for me.” You nodded, not being able to think of anything as you felt your body start to shudder and spasm. Jake grunted, lifting his hips to bury himself deep within you and release his seed, “Fuck.”

“Oh god,” You moaned, sagging forward just a bit, pressing your weight onto your hands as you caught your breath.

“You okay?” Jake asked, running his hands up and down your back.

“Yeah, just give me a second,” You said breathlessly, “It’s not easy riding dick at almost nine months along,” Jake chuckled and brushed a strand of hair from your face.

“Well there aren’t many positions that we can do with you this far along,” Jake said, “And my dick is slipping out.”

You chuckled as you gently rolled, with the help of Jake, onto your back, “We shall see if there will be any more sexcapades after this week.”

You were nearing the home stretch, and you couldn’t be more happy and sad at the same time. The two of you had spent every moment that Jake was home spent working on the nursery and setting up the guest bedroom for Jake to use. Which, he had hardly been in, finding himself falling asleep in your bed most nights. He knew that this current sleeping arrangement wouldn’t last long, once the baby was here you weren’t going to want a single thing to do with him.

“We have another appointment next week, right? The last one?” Jake asked and you nodded.

“The grand finale,” You said and Jake chuckled. He rolled onto his side and lightly drew circles over your bump, “You know, Doctor Miller can still do the DNA test and we can-”

Jake shook his head, “I’m not letting her stick a needle into your belly.”

“Actually, she can do it by just taking my blood.”

“Why are you bringing this up again? Did George say something to you? Did he threaten you?” Jake pushed himself up from the bed.

“No!” You exclaimed and pushed yourself up into a sitting position, “No one said anything but Jake, if getting the test done means that this baby gets a fair shot-”

“Why are you worried about the trust? You said you never wanted a drop of that money,” Jake looked at you confused.

“Things change. Jake, you almost died on your last two missions that I know about. And who knows how many other times,” You said and Jake’s eyes softened. He sat back down on the bed next to you and cupped your cheek.

“If something happens to me, you and her will be taken care of, without the Seresin trust,” Jake answered, “I have things in place already to make sure that you will never have to worry if I’m gone. So please, for the love of God, can we just drop this?”

You nodded and Jake smiled. He leaned in and kissed your forehead. On top of your due date being soon, Jake’s birthday was also approaching. He was going to be turning the big three-oh, and you wanted to do something to celebrate. Jake argued that he was fine getting drinks at the Hard Deck with you and the daggers, but you were not about to let that slide. Turning thirty and becoming a father in the same year was a big deal, and you were going to make it one.

“Hey, what are you thinking?” Jake asked, running his hand over your bump.

“Your birthday.”

“No.”

“You are turning thirty! We are celebrating!”

“Yeah, and we might have a baby by then,” Jake said, placing a kiss on your belly and you giggled at the feeling, “Seriously, nothing big.”

“Can I get you a cake?”

“I’ll allow a cake. Only! If it’s cinnamon shortcake,” Jake kissed your cheek before getting out of bed. It was Saturday and the only thing he had on the agenda was going golfing with Dylan, Rooster, Bob, Maverick and Iceman. Sarah and Phoenix were coming over to help you work on thank-yous from the shower and finish decorating the nursery.

You pushed yourself up from bed, feeling babygirl move around in your belly. You found your sleep shorts that had been taken off by Jake and slipped them back up your legs, before sliding on one of his old academy t-shirts. It seemed like most days you were wearing shorts and one of Jake’s t-shirts. You swore to yourself that next time you had a baby you were getting pregnant during the summer. Being heavily pregnant in the heat of the summer in California was something you did not want to endure again.

That was another thing you had thought of recently, was what would happen next with your family. You had never just wanted to have one child, you didn’t want them to grow up as an only child. You loved your siblings, and you loved how big your family is. Even though you don’t always get along with them, you couldn’t imagine a life without them. You wanted your child to have the same thing, but how was the question. Would you find someone else to marry and have children with? Would they accept this baby as their own? Or maybe, would you have another one with Jake? Or did Jake even want more than one? They were all questions that kept you up at night.

“You must really be in thought today,” Jake said, walking back into your room dressed in khaki shorts and a pink polo. Pink was really his color, it made his eyes stand out even more. You wondered if your baby would have his green eyes or the same blue eyes that ran in your family, “Hello? Earth to Y/N?”

“Sorry,” You said, shaking your head and looking at him, “Got a lot on my mind.”

“Well, can I help you think some of it through?”

You bit your lip, running everything through your mind again and then said: “No. It’s nothing you can help with,” You gave him a small smile. He nodded and kissed your forehead.

“Well, don’t think too much while I’m gone,” He said.

“I’ll try not to. And don’t get mad at Bob, you know he can’t golf,” You said and Jake chuckled.

“Thank god he can fly better than he can hit a golf ball.”

You walked Jake to the front door, and stood on the porch as he pulled out of the driveway and left to go get Rooster. You sighed and headed back inside, going to make yourself some tea before your mother and Phoenix came over. You couldn’t wait for the day that you could start drinking coffee again. Every morning Jake brewed himself a fresh pot, almost as if he were mocking you in some way. The smell was intoxicating and all you could do was sit at the breakfast table and watch it drip and fill the pot.

While you waited for the kettle to come to a boil, you looked through the stack of mail that was on the table. Most of it was bills for the house and from the doctor. You and Jake had agreed to split the cost of the prenatal care 50/50, since you weren’t technically on his insurance plan. You tossed most of the mail to the side, besides bills it was mundane things you didn’t really care about. Except for one white envelope with your name on it.

‘Y/N KAZANSKY

PATERNITY DNA RESULTS’

Your heart started beating rapidly in your chest as you looked at the envelope. The sound of the kettle ringing brought you out of your trance, and you stuffed the letter into the pocket of your cardigan, and went to tend to the kettle.

Despite Jake telling you to not get the test done, you had it done anyway. You really had no plans on telling him, but slowly the guilt of going against what he wanted was starting to eat at you. At first, you had the test done to prove George Seresin wrong, and to have it on file in case Jake were to change his mind. You weren’t going to have Doctor Miller send you the results, but then you changed your mind. But now, as they were here in your house, in your hands, you suddenly regret getting the test done at all. Jake trusted you, and you knew that he would love this baby no matter what that piece of paper said. You knew that you should just throw the envelope away, tear it up and shred it. But a voice in the back of your head stopped you from doing that. So instead you tucked the envelope away in your sock drawer.

— — —

Jake used to hate the game of golf. His father loves it and would spend hours at the golf course or driving range. Hell, he spent hundreds, maybe even thousands a year on tee fees, golf lessons, buying expensive clubs and playing at some of the top golf courses in Texas. Occasionally, George would bring Jake along, only when it would benefit him. Before Jake got into the academy, George took Jake on a golf outing with the dean of students, the athletic director and the head coach of the UT football team to try and win them over. Jake thought it was the dumbest thing ever and did everything in his power to make himself look like a fool. George was furious that night and took it out on Jake. The next day at school Jake told everyone that he fell from his horse and that’s what caused the black eye and split lip.

But now, as Jake was older and actually had people that he enjoyed being with, he found solace in the game of golf. Even though three out of the six of them could never hit the ball entirely straight. He was still in good company which made it all the more fun. Currently, he was standing behind the tee box watching Bob calculate his shot and line up his driver with the ball. Bob had never golfed before he started golfing with them, and it was obvious. Jake thought Rooster had a bad swing since he still had that baseball swing in him, but seven out of nine holes someone was yelling “fore!” when Bob was up to tee.

“What are the girls doing today?” Rooster whispered to Jake.

“Finishing the nursery,” Jake answered, “Y/N said I don’t have the feminine touch so I am not needed. Phoenix and Mrs. Kazansky are over.”

Rooster chuckled to himself, “She settled on a theme?”

Jake nodded, “Farm theme. Don’t ask me why, but there’s a giant picture of a baby cow hanging over her crib.”

You had found said picture at Home Goods and nearly bursted out in tears at the sight. Jake, of course, had to buy it and it was the first thing ever put up in the nursery. You loved the picture and felt like it made the yellow painted room feel like home. Jake thought the picture was kind of scary with its big brown eyes staring at you. But if you loved it, then he would love it too. The nursery furniture was all a distressed light brown color, which went perfectly with the farm theme that you wanted to go with. Jake and the daggers managed to put together all the heavy stuff, now what was left was the easy decorating.

“Has she decided on where she’s going to have the baby?” Iceman asked as Maverick took a step up on the tee box. Bob’s ball had taken a sharp left and ended up in another fareway that Dylan would have to take him searching for.

You had told Jake from the beginning that you wanted a home birth and he respected that decision. He helped you search for good doulas and midwives in the area and settled on one together. However the two of you were yet to decide on a location. Jake wanted to go traditional and do it actually at home, but you wanted to go to your parents cabin about an hour away.

“No,” Jake answered, “She still wants to go to the cabin but I’m not sure if she’ll make it that far. Every day she thinks the baby is coming. I’d much rather do it just right at home in the living room.”

“Dammit!” Maverick cursed as his ball hit a tree and bounced off somewhere in the rough.

“She’s a saint for wanting to do it unmedicated,” Rooster shook his head and stepped closer to the tee box, “I had stitches once without getting numbed and I thought I was going to pass out.”

“It’s what she wants, and she’s determined,” Jake shrugged. He wasn’t a fan of the home birth option at first, his anxiety gave him too much worry. What if something happened to you? What if something happened to the baby? But you assured him that everything was going to be okay. If something was wrong with either you or the baby they would send you to the hospital right away. Doctor Miller had signed off on the home birth and would be on call if anything was to take a turn.

The rest of the afternoon went off without a hitch, well, as without a hitch as much as it possibly could. Bob nearly broke his glasses and managed to lose a whole sleeve of golf balls in the first nine holes. They all decided to call it a day early and get drinks and sit outside by the pool. The pool was busy for it being a hot day, the loud screams and laughter of children filling the air.

“Are you going to get a country club membership now, Bagman?” Dylan asked.

“Why? Because I’m about to be a dad?” Jake asked, taking a sip of his long island iced tea.

“That’s exactly why,” Dylan laughed, “You and Y/N give off country club people vibes.”

Jake chuckled and looked at the various families and children that were in the pool. He could see himself getting a country club membership. Playing golf league on tuesday nights, bringing you and your daughter to the pool on the weekends, dressing up for certain fundraising events. But while he was thinking of all of that, he also thought of his parents and how they do the exact same thing. Jake grew up going to the golf course pool on the weekends with his nanny and mother. George and Margaret were always getting dressed up to go to some fundraiser for the club, and Jake even had to be in quintillion because Margaret was one of the sponsors. He hated every single thing about growing up as a “country club kid”.

“Well see,” Jake answered, his jaw clenching. Rooster looked at him questionably, but just shrugged and went back to talking baseball statistics with Ice and Bob.

The sun was starting to set by the time the six of them decided to leave. They were all feeling warm not just from the alcohol but from the time spent out in the sun. Bob was sure to have a sunburn on his arms tonight, and Rooster knew he was going to have a gnarly sock tan line that might go away by next fourth of July. They all said their goodbyes, and Rooster climbed into Jake’s truck since they had driven together. His brown eyes glanced at the carseat in the back seat of the truck. He tried to ignore the pang in his heart every single time he saw it, but he couldn’t help it.

“Think this is probably the last time I’ll see this truck this clean,” Rooster said as Jake climbed into the driver's seat. Everyone knew how anal Jake was about the condition of his truck. He treated it as if it was his baby, and cleaned it once a week, sometimes even twice if he had driven it a longer distance than just to base and back.

“Oh, it’ll stay this way,” Jake answered back, pressing the start button, “We’ve already talked about it.”

“You know that kids are just mess magnets,” Rooster chuckled as Jake started on the drive back to his place, “Your truck, your house, everything is about to come one giant mess.”

“Don’t even remind me,” Jake shook his head, “My sisters houses look like permanent hurricanes. I hope with one that things won’t be as messy. Well, one for now.”

Rooster was silent for the rest of the ride home, Jake’s comment settling in his head. He knew that he shouldn’t be thinking about you like that, he had Noel and she was good to him. But in the back of his mind he thought that maybe just maybe there was still a chance for him and you. That maybe, just maybe, you hadn’t completely closed the door on the idea. Rooster looked up from his lap as Jake parked in the driveway, his eyes seeing the white Nissan parked behind his bronco.

“The girlfriend is here,” Jake smirked and Rooster gave him the best fake smile he could muster.

“Yeah, she said she’d stop by later,” Rooster unbuckled his seatbelt, “Tell Y/N I missed her today. Would rather have her as a partner than you sometimes.”

“If you think I’m bad, wait until you play next to her,” Jake shook his head with a laugh, “She thinks she’s the next Tiger Woods, I swear.”

Rooster smiled, knowing exactly what Jake was talking about, “I’ll see you, man.” Rooster stepped inside his house, and leaned his back against the door. He noticed Noel’s shoes by the door and knew she was probably waiting for him in his bedroom. He reached into the pocket of his khaki shorts and pulled his phone out, seeing one single text from you.

‘Bug Kazansky: I got them back.’

He took a deep breath and locked his phone, sliding it back into his pocket before going upstairs to his girlfriend. Tonight, he was focused on Noel, not you. As much as it hurt his heart to think about, he couldn’t spend every moment waiting for you anymore. He had guilt from what had happened between the two of you, but if you had so easily moved on and forgotten about, so could he.

Jake parked his truck next to your car in the garage. At the old house in Lemoore, you two only had a one car garage and it was first come first serve on who got the spot. But now, there was no fighting when it came to it, and it made him feel domestic. He had basically moved in with you these past few weeks. The only time he’d really stop by his house was to get fresh clothing and to get the packages of dog food for Herc. He considered asking you if he could fully move in, but he wasn’t sure if you were ready for all of that quiet yet. He didn’t even know where you two stood as far as relationships go. Of course he wanted more with you, but he was willing to do whatever it was that you wanted.

He could see the house was dimly lit when he arrived home. The sun was almost down, lighting the earth with a pink and purple hue. Jake stood in the driveway for a moment, soaking up the last rays of the sun before heading inside. He could hear the faint sound of Greta Van Fleet playing from upstairs and knew that you were either in the nursery or in the bath. You had been ending your days by taking a warm bubble bath partially to relieve the pain in your lower back and to help you fall asleep easier. Your insomnia has come back these last couple weeks as you got closer to your due date.

Jake checked the nursery, not finding you but hearing the music playing a bit louder. He walked into your room, smelling the scent of your essential oils and seeing Herc laying in the doorway to the bathroom. The german shepherd had become not only your protector again, but also the protector of your unborn child. Jake would come home from work to see you napping on the couch or even sometimes asleep in bed, and Herc’s face was nuzzled into your belly.

“Momma in there, boy?” Jake asked his dog, kneeling down to scratch under his jaw. From the reflection in the mirror, Jake could see your legs resting over the side of the bathtub. He stood up from his position and walked into the bathroom, seeing you resting your head back against the side of the tub and a wash cloth over your eyes.

“Y/N?” He called out.

“Hm?” You answered, removing the wash cloth and looking up at him, “You’re home.”

“I am,” Jake answered and walked over to you. He bent down to place a kiss on your forehead, “How was your day?”

“Tiring,” You sighed and ran your hands over your bump, “Nursery is one hundred percent complete and so are the thank you cards. We started washing all the bottles, clothes and other stuff we got, which is going to take forever.”

“Well we got time,” Jake said leaning against the counter, “You about ready to get out?”

“Yes,” You nodded, “Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Can you get me some pajamas please?” You asked, sticking your bottom lip out, “Oh! And fuzzy socks!”

Jake chuckled, “Of course. Be right back.”

You nodded, and moved your hands back and forth in the warm water, “How was golf?”

“Same as it usually is!” Jake yelled as he opened your dresser drawers, and found a pair of sleep shorts that you should hopefully be comfortable in.

“Bob go through another sleeve of golf balls?”

“I don’t know how he does it!” Jake said back and you giggled. A smile was brought to his face at the sound of your laughter as he found one of his old t-shirts in your drawer.

“It must have something to do with his glasses,” You said and pushed yourself out of the tub. You grabbed your towel and dried your body off, wrapping it around you the best that you could, and then walked to your bedroom, “Maybe he just can’t see where. . .you weren’t supposed to find that.”

Jake’s green eyes were staring down at the white envelope you had stashed away from earlier. The clothing that he had in his hands had clearly been dropped to the floor, and you could see them start to shake a bit. He looked from the letter to you, his eyes rimmed red.

“I can explain,” You said, and took a step towards him, but he visibly took one away from you.

“I told you I didn’t want this done!” He exclaimed, gripping the letter in his hand, “This is exactly what he wants! And you fell for his trap!”

“It’s not just for your father,” You sighed and ran a hand over your forehead, “It’s for me.” Jake looked at you confused for a moment and then at the letter.

“You couldn’t have done this without my DNA,” He said softly, “So unless you swabbed my mouth in my sleep or stole my kleenex, you couldn’t have-”

“Because I didn’t use your DNA, Jake,” You said and took a deep breath, “I used. . . I asked Bradley to do the test.”

taglist: @materialgirl01 @cherrycola27 @love2write2626 @averyhotchner @xoxabs88xox @nagygreta @bioodforbiood @violyn20 @abaker74 @misshoneypaper @callsign-joyride @auroraboreallisfine @thedroneranger @rosewritesitout @nobody7102 @bradleybeachbabe @wildxwidow @cm27078 @caitsymichelle13 @whisperofsong @bonitanightmxres @maverooster @mizzzpink @khaylin27 @shawnsblue @shelbycillian @sexualparkour @thenewdaysalreadyhere @fandom-princess-forevermore @double-j @momc95 @buxkybarnez @paige-alexandra-may @coffeebooksandfandom @86laura11 @some-lovely-day @ohemgeewhat @itsmytimetoodream @emmaelix @springholland @atarmychick007 @okiegirl24 @i3k2ts @gassyandsassy1 @happierbelle @celestialeviereads @kandierteveilchen

note: and thank you to everyone who has supported me not only today with the "Karen" anons but through this whole fic and the other works on my blog. my writing is supposed to be something that is enjoyable for not only you all to read, but myself included. I write the fics that I want to be able to go back and read. I write the fics that I will be happy with, and if that's not your cup of tea. . . then so be it. You don't have to like every single thing I put out, it's okay to not like something of mine. But there is no need to be rude about it. And this isn't just coming from me, this is coming from other writers as well. Be kind to us, we don't do this for pay, we don't do this for profit. We do it because we want to. anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter:) and I am sorry for getting angry and spoiling the fic earlier, I hope y'all forgive me or forgot that I even did that.

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mx-julien · 16 days

Text

weird little guy Jay was a little too bright and clever and inventive as a kid, for most people. Ed and Edna loved it, of course, but other kids at his school and other adults he talked to weren't sure what to do with him. from his personality in the pilot, it seems like he's not used to others liking him

it's a common issue for any kid (especially ND kids) with a strong sustained interest in something. using my credentials *gestures to childhood* I will hypothesize what Jay's social life growing up might've looked like:

a curly little mop of auburn hair ran home from the bus stop, waving a messy technical drawing and yelling. Ed lifted up his welding hood, "what's goin' on, Jay?"

"Dad! Dad! I know how to- how to make-" Jay plopped down next to his dad, sending a little puff of dirt into the air, "I know how to make it go smooth! we use ball bearings!"

"kiddo you're exactly right- but first you gotta drop your backpack by the house and tell your Mom about school," Ed went to pull his hood down," and I'm nearly done with this, okay? we can get started right after"

"make sure you look at these," Jay carefully flattened his wide ruled notebook paper with hastily done technical drawings, using some nearby scrap to hold each corner down, "I explained everything here," pointing to a mass of scribbles, "okay?" peering up at his Dad, Jay's curls obstructed more of his vision.

"I promise, kiddo," Ed patted his son's fluffy head, "you worked real hard on them."

beaming, Jay slung his backpack on and ran back to the house bent down partway with both arms extended behind him. kids, Ed shook his head with a smile, always finding ways to do new silly things

~*~

excited shouts were a regular occurrence at the Walker home, Jay frequently came back from school with new insights and ideas to tell them. since his latest project was with Ed, Edna got to talk to Jay about everything else. they switched off so that one of them got to spend hours with their son while the other took care of most of the business and cleaning.

speaking of her son, the trailer door rattled before flinging open, "Mom!" Jay ran over to give her a hug at the kitchen sink, where she was doing dishes.

"hi dear, how was school today?"

"good. I drew for me and dad's project and we did some more multiplying and I'm really good at it" he rattled off more activities as he pulled out his lunchbox and homework for that day.

everything he talked about involved teachers and classwork. Jay only mentioned other kids when they commented on his drawings or played with him at recess, which was not as common as they would've liked. when she and Ed last met with his teacher, she remarked on how bright Jay was and that he loved speaking to all of his teachers- even at recess and during lunch.

he had friends, but most of them didn't talk to him as much at school as they did when they came over. she could tell Jay was trying very hard to not take it personally, but he was just a child.

it wasn't malicious, of course, the other kids weren't trying to be cruel- they wanted to have a lot of friends and Jay wasn't joining the other kids at recess; he found sticks and things to make little cars and catapults. no one could keep up with him and he never cared to race the cars or use the catapults to hit things. he just wanted to make them better and better.

he is so similar her and Ed were as children: bit with the invention bug and always pushing towards making everything better than it was before. except Jay didn't have a close friend to share that with. he asked her once, in between sobs, why everyone else had a best friend except him. it broke her heart, knowing that Jay felt that everyone was friendly with him, but not friends with him.

"Mom, can you help me with math tonight? I need to practice my multiplication tables up to 12"

Jay's request pulled her back to the present. taking a beat, she made sure he wouldn't be able to read the sadness she felt, "of course, dear, I'd love to," smiling, she ruffled his curls and glanced at the kitchen table. all his homework was in a neat stack, he'd emptied out what was left in his lunchbox, and set the tupperware onto the countertop. her son was bouncing up and down on his toes, waiting for her permission to run outside.

Edna bent down, taking Jay's head in her hands and placing a light kiss on his forehead, "good job, dear, and thank you for unpacking everything. make sure you take a glass of water out for your father and come in once the sun goes down, okay?"

"okay!" making a mad dash for the door, Jay suddenly diverted to grab the glass, and then started a more careful walk over to Ed, valiantly trying to not spill a drop.

their precious son would find his people, she was sure of it. and in the meantime, she and Ed would be here for him.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ed and edna #ed walker #edna walker #jay walker #jay angst #kinda??#jay's childhood is a little sad but not completely #inspired by Real EventsTM and by that I mean growing up with ADHD #this was supposed to be a short post but oh well #lmk if I should expand on this and post it to ao3

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dreamfyre03 · 2 months

Text

A Dragon's Love

Trigger Warnings: Blood, mutilation, mention of death and funerals.

Chapter 2: Lose an eye, gain a dragon

The death of Leana Velaryon and her subsequent funeral brought the entire royal family to Driftmark. As they stood listening the Vaemond Velaryon perform the last rites, Aemond looked at his older sister subtly. She had tears in her eyes, even though she never met Lady Leana, but Aemond knew her well enough to know she was crying because the loss of life was enough to prompt such sadness within her. Even when she cried, she looked beautiful, Aemond thought to himself. He saw Helaena hold her hand in a comforting gesture, and Daenys graced her with one of her kind smiles, the kind that never ceased to bring young Aemond at peace, no matter what.

Aemond loved and admired her like no other, she was the only one who made Helaena feel at ease, who could make their mother smile, and even saw something good in Aegon. She was a ray of sunshine that no one deserved, it was she that deserved the world, in his eyes. “You’re gawking.” Aegon whispered, the scent of wine obvious on his breath.   Aemond tore his gaze away to look at Aegon. “What are you talking about?” He mumbled.

Aegon rolled his eyes, “Daenys. Better be careful, little brother, or everyone will noticed how obsessed you are.”

“I’m not obsessed.” He muttered. They were distracted however, by the untimely and no doubt inappropriate laughter that came from his uncle Daemon, Leana’s husband, which drew the attention of all.

After the funeral gathering, and everyone retired to their rooms, Aemond saw Daenys in her nightgown walking quietly, and asked, “Where are you going?”   She rolled her eyes affectionately and said, “I’m afraid our dear brother is once again severely hungover. Your mother’s a bit on edge, so I told her I’d check in on him.”

“Aegon doesn’t deserve your kindness” Aemond muttered. Daenys smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Maybe. But he is our brother, and everyone deserves kindness, especially from one’s family.” She answered, a flicker of sadness passing her eyes. Aemond knew she thought of Rhaenyra, who she still wished would show her said kindness, or even their father, who whenever he saw her, either called her Rhaenyra or Aemma, but rarely her own name. She deserved better.

“And where are you off to?” She asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders, replying, “Just for a walk.”   She pressed a kiss to his forehead and said, “Alright. Be safe, brother.” As she slipped through the doors to Aegon’s rooms.

Aemond savoured the feeling of his sister’s presence, before he began wandering around Driftmark aimlessly, until he found himself on the beach. He wandered too far, he knew it, but he felt as though something was drawing him there, and when he got closer, he saw exactly what it was.   Vhagar, the Queen of Dragons. .

Screams. Shouts. Blood splattering. Accusations being hurled. A knife that slashed through Aemond’s eye, and changed the course of who he would one day become. .

. “Gods Aegon, you never fail to drink yourself into a stupor, don’t you?” Daenys grumbled as she helped Aegon sit up to drink some water.

“Ah yes, but why worry when I’ve my lovely sister to tend to me always?” Aegon teased with a grin, and took a sip from the cup. Daenys rolled her eyes, but before she could respond, shouts and loud noises were heard outside the doors, and Aegon and Daenys looked at each other with confused expressions.

Helaena’s head peaked through the door and whispered, “You must come at once, something’s happened.”   The two siblings quickly ran to the door and made their way down with Helaena, and were met with the sight of impending chaos around them.

She could hear her father shouting at Ser Criston, and as they entered and stood near the fireplace where their mother knelt near a chair where Aemond sat being attended too by a maester, Daenys felt a sick feeling arise in her stomach.

“It will heal, will it not maester?” Alicent asked worriedly, and Daenys gasped as she saw her little brother, blood coating one side of his face, a gash through his left eye. She immediately moved to go to him, but Helaena held her back.

“He’s being attended to sister, we mustn’t crowd him.” She said in an eerily calm manner.

“The flesh will heal. But the eye is lost, Your Grace.” The Maester told the Queen, and Daenys gripped Helaena’s hand tighter, stifling a sob behind her hand.

Alicent moved to face them and asked Aegon angrily, “Where were you?” Before slapping him hard across the face, the sound being heard throughout the hall, causing Aegon to whelp in pain.

“That is nothing, compared to the abuse your brother suffered while you were drowning in your cups, you fool!” She admonished. Daenys couldn’t imagine how her step mother felt in that moment, the pain she must feel at the sight of her child in such pain, and sadly she retaliated at the nearest person, in this case it was Aegon.

She could see her nephews Jace and Luke standing there, gripping each other, and as much as she pitied them, she could not bring herself to go to them, and she began to wonder; where in the name of the Seven was her sister? Her sons stood in the great hall bleeding, why wasn’t she here?

As though the gods heard her, Rhaenyra burst through the doors and ran to her boys, as their uncle Daemon leaned against the door, taking in the scene.

As Rhaenyra consoled her children, and Alicent stood in the centre of the room, her long auburn waves falling down her back, her eyes in a wide helplessness, and pure anger, Daenys silently moved and knelt next to Aemond on the chair as shouts were being exchange across the room.

“Do no look at me.” Aemond whispered, clearly trying to hold back on the pain he was in.

“I am here. I will always be here, and I will never look away.” Daenys replied in a gentle whisper, taking his hand in hers.

“Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned, so we might learn where he heard such slanders,” She heard Rhaenyra say, drawing her and Aemond’s attention.   “

Over an insult?”Alicent asked incredulously.

“My son has lost an eye!” She cried out angrily.

Daenys watched as her father wobbled over to where Aemond sat, and said, “You tell me boy, where did you hear this lie?”

Alicent spoke but Daenys didn’t hear her, focusing on Aemond, and holding his hand as their father spoke.

“Aemond, I asked you a question.” Viserys said, and Daenys opened her mouth to speak but Viserys held up his hand, silencing her, and she met gazes with Rhaenyra, who shot her an icy glare.

“Where is Ser Laenor? I wonder, if the boys father might have something to add to all this?” Alicent drew the King’s attention by asking.   “Yes, where is the boys’ father?” The King asked.

The voices faded out once again, as the adults argued further, and then Viserys turned back to his injured son and asked, “Where did you hear it boy? Answer me!” He shouted, and Daenys clutched his hand tighter, but Aemond kept a hardened expression on his face.

He remained silent, glancing at his mother before saying, “It was Aegon.”   Daenys sighed, knowing he was protecting Alicent, but also knowing that it was at Aegon’s expense.

“Who told you this, Aegon?” The King shouted at his eldest son, who simply answered, “Look at them. It’s obvious.”   Silence enveloped the room, as the weight of the words spoken hung in the air. The whispers about her nephews’ legitimacy bubbling to the surface, out in the open for what she had a feeling would not be the last time.

As the King declared there would be no punishment but death for anyone who questioned the legitimacy of Rhaenyra’s sons, Daenys looked at Aemond intently. There was a change taking place in him, more than just a physical one, she saw the little boy she loved disappearing behind his remaining eye, slowly, and she knew he would no longer be the brother she once knew.

“This interminable infighting must cease! All of you!” Her father shouted, causing her to jump slightly as his cane hit the ground suddenly.

“We are family!” He went on, and Daenys watched as Aemond looked up at his father with a look of what could only be disgust.

“Now make your apologies and be good to one another. You father, your grandsire, your king demands it!” He commanded, and Daenys stayed frozen in her spot next to Aemond.

She saw her step mother look at the King incredulously, tears in her eyes, and broke the silence in the room by saying, “That is insufficient.”   The King turned back to look at her, and everyone kept looking on at the interaction taking place.

“Aemond has been damaged permanently, my king, ‘good will’ cannot make him whole,” Alicent said, fighting back a sob. Daenys wiped a tear that slid down her face, looking back at her brother, who kept his expression hardened.

“I know Alicent. But I cannot restore his eye.” The King said.

“No, because it has been taken.”She quickly replied.

“What would you have me do?” Her father asked in frustration.

“There is a debt to be paid. I shall have one of her son’s eyes in return.” Alicent said, and the room erupted into murmurs. Daenys gasped softly.

Aemond didn’t move exempt to turn back and look at their nephew, Lucerys, the perpetrator.

“My dear wife,” The king began, but Alicent would not let him finish.

“He is your son, Viserys. Your blood.” She insisted, and the King stepped closer to her.

“Do not allow your temper to guide your judgement.” He warned.

The King turned to leave once again, but Alicent said, “If the King will not seek justice, the Queen will. Ser Criston, bring me the eye of Lucerys Velaryon. He can chose which eye to keep, a privilege he did not grant my son.”

Luke cried out and ran behind his mother, who said, “You will do no such thing.”

“Stay your hand!” Ser Harold Westerling commanded, as Ser Criston’s hand moved to the pommel of his sword.

“No, you are sworn to me!” Alicent shouted.   “As your protector, my Queen,” Ser Criston said, as though it pained him to do so.

The king approached his wife once more, and said in a quiet but reprimanding tone, “Alicent, this matter is finished. Do you understand?”

The room returned to a state of tense silence, until the king declared, “And let it be known; anyone whose tongue dares question the birth of the Princess Rhaenyra’s sons, should have it removed.”

Daenys watched the entire exchange, and couldn’t believe their father really wasn’t going to do anything about what happened to Aemond. He was never going to get his eye back, how could he only focus on the legitimacy of her nephews at a time like this?

“Thank you Father.” Rhaenyra said quietly, as she turned to leave with her sons in tow.   Alicent stood there, and then in a flash, she grabbed the king’s dagger and ran towards Rhaenyra letting out a painful, guttural scream. Daenys tightened her grip on Aemond’s hand as utter chaos erupted, shouts echoing through the air, children screaming.

“You have gone too far!” Rhaenyra said to her, using her strength to hold Alicent’s hand with the dagger at bay.

“I? What have I done but what was expected of me?” Alicent asked desperately, and Daenys couldn’t see, but she knew there were tears streaming down her face.

“Forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law. While you flout your all to do as you please!” She shouted.   Alicent ignored the King’s shouts to let Rhaenyra go, and Daenys didn’t know what to do, who to run to, but she let go of Aemond’s hand to go anyway, only to be pulled back by Aegon, who held her tightly and said, “No sister, you mustn’t. Stay here.”

“Where is duty? Where is sacrifice? It is trampled under your pretty foot again!” Alicent cried out, everyone’s eye on the knife she held between them.

“Release the blade, Alicent.” The voice of Otto Hightower was heard, in an attempt to reach his daughter who appeared to be far gone.

“And now you take my son’s eye, and to even that you feel entitled!” She sobbed, her grip on the blade never once faltering.

“Exhausting wasn’t it? Hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness” She heard Rhaenyra say, so quiet she almost didn’t hear it.

“But now they see you as you are.” The whisper was so soft it was almost inaudible.

The sound of the blade slicing echoed throughout the room, and Alicent pushed back, and the two women broke apart, and as the sight of blood dripping from Rhaenyra’s hand to the floor was seen, the sound of the blade clattering to the floor could be heard.

Daenys covered her mouth with her hand in a gasp, just realising that Aegon never released his grip on her other hand.   Everyone in the room stood frozen, Rhaenyra and her children with Lord Corlys, Princess Rhaenys and Daemon on one side, and Alicent and the King on the other.   As Aemond got up slowly and went to his mother, Daenys moved to go to him again, but this time it was Helaena who stopped her with a gentle touch.

“Do not mourn me mother. It was a fair exchange.” Aemond began, as Rhaenyra harshly eyed Daenys, who had nothing but tears sliding down her face as she looked at Aemond.   “I may have lost an eye. But I gained a dragon.”

And with that, Daenys knew the little boy she loved so dearly was no longer there.

#aemond targaryen #aemond x oc #aemond smut #aemond fanfiction #house of the dragon #hotd #alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #viserys i targaryen #helaena targaryen #daeron targaryen #aemond one eye #aemond fic

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monochromaticbutter · 1 year

Text

(CW: Mentions of rape)

Source: @welovelookism on twitter | Original post

Image transcriptions:

"My favourite character was Jiho tbh. I drew Jiho as the 'dark side of PTJ', so I expressed my inferiority, sadness, shame and all the thoughts that I couldn't speak up to others through Jiho. Basically my inner self. I originally had Jiho's own story ahead and his backstory, but the main story had so many big turns. Which is why Jiho's role kinda disappeared. He was the antithesis of Daniel Park. I can't really write them out because he is dead. Anyways, he had a definite role and clear situations in the story, but as I was writing the story I started to have another storyline and ending in my mind, making Jiho a little uncertain. I might be the saddest one to feel about Jiho's death. To conclude, he wasn't the type of guy to die in that way, he shouldn't have died like that. Readers were asking if Jiho is going to resurrect… but no, he is not going to. But 'this' guy is going to resurrect. He is going to resurrect in the most bs way possible. There is a character that is going to resurrect in Lookism. Jiho got a lot of hate when he made an appearence. I always felt sad about it but at the same time I liked it because I knew I wrote this character well. Jiho is like an inner self of everybody at least to a certain extent."

"Juvenile prison arc was the arc where I was so greedy about it. Tbh, there were a lot of things that weren't available for the Lookism age limit. Readers only saw 60% of what I wrote. It is actually very dark and full of speechless stuff, I knew Naver would ask me to edit it. But I just drew. I even drew the panels that I knew that would not be available to readers with all I got… because I was hoping if Naver would allow them. But they rejected them as I expected. Jiho actually got raped by Darius. I drew it to show that it is a very terrifying thing, but there were a lot of changes in the end. From removed dialogues to panels… a lot of edited panels. The Darius dialogue 'I will come back later' before Jiho's one when he fought got edited too. When Jiho said 'I made sure I washed motherfucker'. Darius's lone was originally 'I will come back after I wish'. That is why Jiho went for a revenge match against him, where Jiho's mindset of actually killing someone was fully completed. Jiho says 'I made sure I washed motherfucker' after seeing his lowest point of himself and his misery. It didn't really manage to connect with Darius's previous dialogue. The dialogue 'I made sure I washed motherfucker' is for Jiho to say to Darius, but I put a meaning of where Jiho washed his old self away. But I think not a lot of reader noticed it."

Although the translation seems a bit messy, there's a lot to unpack here. This is a very interesting piece from PTJ's writing.

The parallel between Jiho and Daniel has always been there. It's more obvious some times than others. Both of them suffered a lot at the hands of others and both of them were offered "a light" (a positive situation to make things better), but the main difference is: Daniel managed to hold onto it, Jiho didn't.

Daniel's insecurities are, most of the time, internalized. The one time he lashed out at his mother, it stuck with him and made him value her more than anything in the world. It's easy to like and relate to him, because he's the palatable side of trauma-related issues.

Jiho isn't. He always takes the worst decisions possible, he lashes out at his parents and friends, he acts selfishly many times. Even after attempting to murder one of his closest friends, he's desperately thinking of a way out for himself, not the guy in a coma. His arcs are frustrating to read through at first, because his worldview is so distorted and his actions are hard to digest.

And at the same time, it's clear Jiho really hates himself. From start to finish. But he spirals and never stops; even at his last appearance, he can't acknowledge that Daniel took better decisions (and ultimately is "a better person" in the world's eyes) and boils it down to him "being luckier".

So, he's easy to hate. Even if you relate to some of his attitudes, you might end up disliking Jiho, because deep inside you know those are wrong.

However, there's a deeper reason for that.

(Other than us being conditioned into empathizing with people who match Daniel's profile of mental illness and trauma and casting those like Jiho aside.)

And the reason is: people don't like seeing the ugly side of themselves on the screen. They don't like the senseless aggression, lashing out or other behavioural problems that are common in humans. Being unnatractive, being physically weak, being paranoid, taking bad decisions at every corner, misreading kindness, fucking up even the purest of relationships, those are all very human "flaws" that might not be easy to fix. Jiho checks all of those items.

That's the same reason so many people hate on Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Both of these characters are traumatized and abused, but the audience frequently turns to the "pathetic" or "insufferable" aspects of their personalities.

Anyways, this was a short analysis I needed to do after seeing this post. Good night 💜

#lookism #spoilers for anime onlies #my thoughts #ptjs videos #jiho park #daniel park #park hyungseok

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jawneepie · 1 year

Text

ᨳ᭬(੭˘͈ᵕ˘͈)੭ 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐱 𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ˖ ࣪ . ִֶָ

⠀⊹ . : 𖥔˖࣪ ˖ ࣪ . ִֶָ𓂅 * ˖ 𓏲࣪ ⊹ . : 𖥔˖࣪ ˖ ࣪ . ִֶָ𓂅 * ˖ 𓏲࣪

the lack of x reader fics for this guy is lower than my pharmacology grade so i decided to write one myself. this was written like my college papers: rushed and no proofreading whatsoever. so keep your expectations low. shit happens when you listen to ricky montgomery

࣪˖‣ 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𐀔 𖥔˙˖ . ˖ 𖥧 ִֶָ ›

𝒊𝒎 𝒎𝒓. 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒏. 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓, 𝒎𝒂𝒏

In the coldness of the night, the air only chilled when rainfall came. Raindrops softly fell, painting the pavement with a darker hue. The rain called for umbrellas, and the sidewalk became a sea of colorful plastic, shielding everything beneath them from the caress of rain. The sky was starless, but the glimmer of street lights made it seem like the stars traveled down to earth to walk amongst tired businessmen and rowdy barhoppers. The distant honks of cars and conversations were muffled by the sound of rain against metal. In the cramped space of a phone booth that’s seen better days, (Y/N) could hear nothing but the staccato beep of the pay phone.

The yellow-tinted glare of the light above (Y/N)’s (hair color) hair flickered and gave her skin a warm glow. The buzzing of midges that edged against the warm glass of the phonebooth’s lightbulb was drowned out by the jingling of spare change in (Y/N)’s fist. The tip of her boot traced along the written phone numbers on the floor etched and forgotten on dirty metal. Each beep from the phone seemed to be longer than the last one. (Y/N)’s eyebrows drew together and wrinkled her forehead. The small stream of rainwater from her umbrella beside her flowed to the soles of her shoes. She leaned against the payphone and contemplated hanging up, but her thoughts quickly disappeared when the beeps were replaced by a familiar voice– a voice she wished she could hear more often. (Y/N)’s lips tugged into a grin as she pulled the phone receiver closer to her ear.

“Bret?” (Y/N) started, voice uncertain. “Hey,” came a reply, breathy but laced with a hint of joy that no one but (Y/N) can notice.

“I missed you,” Bret immediately adds. It was more of a whisper than anything, barely audible from the thunderous laughs of Owen and Neidhart in the background.

(Y/N)’s eyes shined, “I missed you too,” she twirled the phone cord between her fingers as she fought to suppress a laugh. She was no stranger to how loud the Harts could be. “I’m not interrupting something, am I?”

Owen and Neidhart’s laughs grew quieter and the creak of a closing door followed soon after. (Y/N) guessed Bret snuck off into another room, preferably an empty one. Bret liked his privacy, especially away from his nosy younger brother. “You? Never.”

(Y/N) shifted her weight from one foot to the other as the rain calmed to a light drizzle. “How’s the excellence of execution holding up?” She playfully asked the words rolling off her tongue like butter. A chuckle escaped Bret’s lips and dusted (Y/N)’s cheeks with a blush. “Better now that we’re talking. Jimmy wouldn’t stop blowing my ear off with his plastic megaphone.” (Y/N) could practically see Bret rolling his eyes at the mention of his manager. She wouldn't understand why Bret keeps up with the southerner. 'He doesn't look like much, but he's got a brain', Bret begrudgingly explained, reluctant to even compliment his manager in the first place. (Y/N) decided to lighten up the mood, “Good to know someone is annoying you in my place.”

Bret laughed. It sent tremors to (Y/N)’s ribcage, barely containing the frantic beats of her heart. She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from ripping her face in half with her smile. She felt lighter than air. “Unlike him, I actually like your voice.”

“It’s a good thing you hear it every night then.”

A beat passed before she heard Bret’s voice once more, this time sullen, “I much prefer it if I could see your face when I do.”

A sad smile crept its way to (Y/N)’s flushed face. “You will,” she reassured softly, “We just have to wait for -”

“Two more weeks,” they both said at the same time, voices melancholic. Bret sighed, “I know. I’ve been counting.”

(Y/N) tucked a stray hair behind her hair, just like how Bret would. At that moment, (Y/N) wished he was there to do it for her. “It won’t be long. I’ll be home with you in no time.”

(Y/N) was as patient as a saint when she needed to be but the thought of feeling Bret’s hands cradle her own made her wish for days to pass faster. She couldn’t wait to wake up with his arms wrapped around her waist, his thumb drawing lazy circles on her flesh. She couldn’t wait to smell the scent of Bret’s shampoo, a smell she grew to love, as they embraced underneath the bathroom light. She couldn’t wait to hear the sound of a pencil scratching on paper when Bret would draw her, thinking she wouldn’t notice. It was the little things that made her grow fond of him. It was the way Bret's lips curled whenever he had to deliver a promo, the way he would double check if the oven was off, the way he would automatically hold (Y/N)'s hand when they crossed the street. It was the little things. And that fondness continued to grow well after the times (Y/N) came home to an empty house and a cold bed. Bret would always tell her how lucky he was to have her love and she would tell him, like clockwork, that it was easy to love him. Truly, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

The shrill voice of Jimmy Hart came like a fork scratching against ceramic plates, uninvited and irritating. (Y/N) could imagine Bret rolling his eyes, his shoulders sagging at the unwelcomed echo of his manager’s heart-patterned megaphone. Bret groaned and (Y/N) laughed, “There’s no shame in giving the mouth of the south a reason to shut up.”

“Someday but not today.” Bret joked though there was more truth to it than anything else.

Bret's voice softened, “I wish we got to talk longer.”

(Y/N) shrugged her shoulders as her eyes followed the raindrops that trailed down the fogged glass of the phone booth. “Me too,” she sighed, “but there’s always tomorrow”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Silence engulfs the two of them before Bret coughed, “I love you” Bret he piped up, a shyness to the lilt of his voice.

(Y/N) tilted her head to the side with an absentminded smile, “I love you too.”

(Y/N) savored the quiet seconds they shared before the familiar beeps of the telephone greeted her again. Without a second thought, she placed the receiver back on its hook and straightened herself. Umbrella in hand, (Y/N) walked out of the phone booth with a warmness in her heart and a ticket for Monday Night Raw in her pocket.

#wwe #wwf #bret hart #bret hart x reader #wwe fanfiction #wwe x reader #wwe headcanons #wwe one shot #ꉂ writing : B. Hart ˖ ࣪ . ִֶָ𓂅

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strangerquinns · 2 years

Note

angst with a fluffy ending with stiles? where he breaks up with reader after the whole donovan thing (even though she believes him) because he thinks he’s dangerous and could hurt her, and it starts with them as exes and then they reconcile? 💗💗

Stiles Stilinski x Reader

It's been almost a year since Stiles broke your heart. But is that the end of your love story?

angst with fluff

words: 1.5k+

"Stiles?" You watched him nearly trip over himself as he rushed out of his truck and towards his home. The rain was causing your clothes to stick to your body and having a cold shiver run through you. But you didn't care. You could see the pain in his face the moment he turned and looked toward you. It ripped through you and made your chest squeeze.

"Stiles..." You whispered this time as you moved towards him, watching as he stopped for a moment. But as you got closer, Stiles stared at you with blank eyes - emotionless. Like a mask was slipped on. He stumbled back a few steps as you drew closer.

You knew what he was doing the moment you recognized it.

"No...no, don't you dare..." You spoke quickly as you rushed towards him.

"You need to get out of here," Stiles spoke.

"What happened? With Scott? He believed you right?" You spoke, ignoring him. "He believed you right?"

"No!" Stiles screamed, the anger creeping back up. "Fucking Theo got to him before me, but you know what...maybe it doesn't matter."

Stiles let out a breathy laugh of false hope, shaking his head from side to side before his eyes looked back towards you.

"I killed someone, y/n. With my hands, I murdered Donovon."

"In self-defense," You counter-argued, "He would've killed you if you didn't defend yourself, Stiles."

"Doesn't matter. After everything with Void and now this...maybe something truly is wrong with me." Stiles paused and stepped towards you more. "That darkness never left. I have felt it since the moment Void came into my life and it never truly went away. I'm not safe to be around."

"What? Of course, you are. This is just fear talking."

"It's not fear. It's the truth finally coming forth. I'm not good to be around...a-and maybe it would be best if you weren't around me anymore."

Suddenly your heart felt like it was in your throat, "No."

"Just...leave, y/n. Leave...we're done. Don't come around anymore."

That memory played in your mind over and over again for almsot a year. You'd never felt pain like the night that Stiles pushed you away. You knew the moment that Theo came back into town that Stiles had been on edge. That entire time you were always on his side, believing every word that came out of his mouth about what was going on. For the last four years, you stood at his side loving him, believing him, fighting for him.

But after one moment he'd pushed you aside and you knew that it was because of fear. Deep down you knew why he did it and you couldn't blame Stiles at all. But that didn't stop your heart from breaking into pieces and shattering all over the floor that night.

And even after everything seemed to slowly repair itself back together within the pack - nothing could repair what was happening between you and Stiles. In a matter of weeks, you'd lost both your best friend and the love of your life.

"You coming over tonight? Was gonna have a good ol' fashion pizza and movie night." Scott asked, leaning against the closed locker beside your open one.

"Ummm...." You paused and hesitated for a moment. You slowly closed your locker before turning towards him. Scott could see the hesitance in your eyes.

"Please. You haven't come and hung out in so long."

"He’s going to be there…isn't he?"

Scott sighed and nodded his head, "But so will Liam, Lydia, Kira, and Malia. So we aren't going to be alone. The Pack misses you."

You bit down on your lower lip for a moment before caving in and nodding your head. The sad puppy dog eyes that Scott was giving you seemed to really work. Even if deep down you were dreading seeing Stiles,

So you went about your school day like normal, trying to let the nerves go. But it seemed the closer and closer the clock ticked towards the end of the night. There was a moment as you walked back home that you tried to think of excuses to make in order to get out of going. But noting viable came to mind and you knew that Scott would just come and check o you if you made an excuse that you were sick.

It was time to face him.

You'd knocked on the door of the McCall household, and the door swung open only seconds later. And before you could even prepare yourself, the one person you were panicked to see stood in front of you.

Stiles breathed your name softly as he stared down at you. His brown eyes were wide with both shock and a little bit of something else you couldn't sense. But you couldn't ignore that feeling that shot through your chest and moved down, making your body suddenly feel warm. It was the only feeling that Stiles could give you. It was a feeling of home. A feeling of safety.

"I-I...I didn't think...you were c-coming." Stiles spoke softly.

"Scott asked at school, didn't really have me feeling like I didn't have an option to opt-out this time."

"Yeah, Scott has a way of making people feel that way sometimes." Stiles chuckled softly, looking behind him for a moment, before stepping forward and closing the door behind him.

You stumbled back for a moment when he stepped into your space. A shuttered breath left between your lips as the musky scent of his cologne washed over you.

"I-I was hoping we could talk also?"

"Stiles..."

"Please," He begged with his voice cracking slightly. It was like the pain he'd been holding down was finally trying to breakthrough. But he could see it, the pain he caused himself was reflected in your eyes. "I have wanted to make things right because for the last few months I have done nothing but regret what I did to you."

Quickly you felt the all-familiar burn behind your eyes and the clogging at the back of your throat. You shook your head quickly not wanting to rip open the wound you felt was finally starting to close up.

"That night...after I talked to Scott about Donovon, all I could think about was how he was right. How maybe there was something that I never realized was there. This darkness that has lingered around ever since the nogitsune took control of my mind there has been this shadow that never went away."

Stiles took a few deep breaths.

"And even though I knew that you believed me, I knew that I needed to make sure that I stayed as far from you as possible. I was no good for you...or so I thought so at the time."

"W-What...so you thought that pushing me away was going to help? Was going to make me feel better?"

"It was stupid and I hated it the moment that I did it. To see the pain that I put you in..."

The moment Stiles saw the tears streak down your cheeks slowly, he moved quickly on instinct and reached to wipe them from your cheeks. He was thankful that you didn't step away from him. Thankful for just that moment he was able to be near you again, and touch you.

"Why now? Why tell me now after all this time? It's been almost a year, Stiles!"

"Because I can't...I can't let you go no matter how much I know it's selfish of me to want you."

"You truly think for a second that I would still be with you if I knew that you'd hurt me?" You nearly shouted, stepping out of his touch. "That fear that you have, Stiles...I get it. It makes sense how you feel scared and everything that has happened has been horrible. Especially what has happened to you. But I was there by your side the entire time, not willing to let me be there that time was cruel. Like you didn't...trust me or something. Or trust yourself!"

"I didn't trust myself, y/n. That is the whole point!" Stiles spoke with desperation in his voice.

"I love you, Stiles! I still do!" You groaned slightly. "God, you are so smart and yet so stupid at the same time."

Stiles moved back towards you, invading your space again, grabbing your face so your tear-filled eyes focused on him. "Tell me I didn't fuck this up to the point where I couldn't get another chance. I will grovel on my knees for as long as I have to in order to be at your side again. Cause I have felt like there has been a hole in my heart since I fucked everything up."

You sniffled and stared up at Stiles. And as much as your head was telling you to forget him and not give him the chance, your heart ached too much. You'd been walking around on autopilot without him at your side. Stiles was the love of your life, and you knew that.

"Stiles," You whispered before reaching up and grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him down towards you. Your lips met against his in a soft kiss, melting into one another for a moment, before the ache became too much. Before his hands moved from your face to your waist, pulling you closer to his chest.

For the first time in so long, you felt like you were able to breathe.

#dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien x female reader #dylan obrien blurb #dylan obrien concept #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles stilinski x female reader #stiles stilinski x you #stiles stilinski x y/n #dylan obrien x you #dylan obrien x y/n

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deadlyflames · 1 year

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Swanfire Month Day 14: Classic fairy-tale that reminds you of Swanfire: Orpheus and Eurydice

Emma was a poor girl. You might say she was touched by the gods. She would to bring the world back into tune, and fix what was wrong.

Baelfire was a hungry young boy. A runaway from everywhere he’d ever been. He was no stranger to world, no stranger to the wind.

It's a love song. It's a tale of a love from long ago.

It's a sad song. We keep singing even so.

It's an old song. It's an old tale from way back when.

And we're gonna sing it again and again.

This one is a bit of a weird connection. You can blame my obsession with Hadestown. I drew a lot of comparisons between Orpheus and Eurydice and Emma and Neal. Both work in either role. But I went with this interpretation.

I have this very specific image of a Swanfire version of the Underworld storyline. Like, it’s so easy for me to picture that arc being done for Swanfire. I mean, Rumplestilskin would obviously help Emma get to the Underworld for his son. Henry would follow for his dad. Regina would follow for Henry and Snowing would follow for their daughter. Even Hook would go with them for Baelfire.

But I think a really interesting way they could have used the Swanfire relationship in the Underworld was for Emma to do the Orpheus test. Because it makes so much sense for them.

(I think that’s what they were trying to reference with the true love test? Maybe? but it fell kinda flat in my opinion, but that’s a whole other thing)

Because it’s a test of trust and with their history, that trust was shaky, and still in the process of being rebuilt.

Just picture it though.

Emma walking through the dark.

She can’t look behind her and, for added uncertainty, Neal can’t speak either.

You can hear the echoing of footsteps and you can see the shadow behind her, but it’s uncertain. Maybe it’s a trick. Maybe it’s not.

Maybe he only said he would be behind her because he wanted to get her out of the Underworld.

She’s talking about all the hurt she felt after he abandoned her. All the pain they’ve gone through since they reunited. How he broke her heart and how she’s not even sure if he’s there now.

From Emma’s perspective, her and Neal are always being separated by powers beyond their control. When he left her when they were young, because of her destiny and his father’s curse. When he fell through the portal after being shot. When the curse was erased and they were ripped from each other again.

Why should this be any different?

It takes all her strength not to look behind her. To take that leap and believe that this will work.

When she’s just about to exit the underworld and return to the world above, she hits that pivotal fork in the road.

She can let her doubt take route, and turn to look behind. She can loose him one final time, and this time will be for good. But it will be the last time she gets her heart broken.

Or she can continue on. She can reach across all that hurt between them, and put her trust in him once again. She can open her heart up, even though letting him in risks the chance of losing him again.

The trust vs doubt dichotomy would be so interesting to tackle. Because that kind of blind faith is something that Emma has always struggled with, and it would be especially relevant to her relationship with Neal. It either ends in tragedy or a happy ending. I would lean towards happy ending because I feel like Emma choosing trust would be a good moment of growth.

Xxxx

Though the tragedy angle would break me. Can y’all freaking imagine. Emma turning back and Neal is there. She’s stunned and horrified.

“It’s you?”

He’s shocked but gives her a broken, comforting smile before he fades away.

“It’s me.”

Emma’s next arc is about the aftermath of guilt and grief. And then we all cry forever.

Anyway, sorry this part of the post was totally incoherent. The Underworld plot was a total missed opportunity. Hadestown is great, listen to it if you wanna cry.

#swanfire #swanfire month 2022 #ouat #emma swan #baelfire #nealfire #neal cassidy #once upon a time

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therunawaykind · 2 years

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Green Eyes - Part IV

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Reader

Word Count: 14.1k

Warnings: Curses, Drug usage, Sorry For Your Loss spoilers I guess?

A/N: So here it is, we've finally gotten to the last part of Green Eyes, I decided to post this today as a little celebration of me posting my first story on this date a year ago. So what better way to celebrate it and reminisce than by finishing one of my most beloved stories. I am sorry for taking so long on getting this final part out...in all seriousness, I really just did not want this series to end. I just adore Leigh Shaw so much. I already know I'm gonna be trying to come up with some sort of series for her again next. But as an apology for taking this long getting this out for you all. You all are getting a 14k part. I just want to give a special little shoutout to @when-wolves-howl and her work/notes on this series as well. This series honestly wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for you. I hope you all have enjoyed this series as much as I have enjoyed writing it. So go forth and get your dose of the beloved and adored Leigh Shaw. The love of my life (sorry 8bit) if y'all see me write and post one or two drabbles for this story after I said this was the finale....you see nothing

*please do not repost or translate my material or claim as yours. reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated!*

It's been nearly a year since that whole predicament between you, Leigh and Danny. You were happy to say after that whole situation with Danny appearing at your house which led to the most significant disagreement you and Leigh had about your entire relationship, but you were glad to say things had started to run smoothly for the both of you. Due to the small scare, Danny gave you by appearing at your house, out of the blue you decided to move house purely out of safety and if in one of his bouts of anger he decided to leak your address. Considering you were moving house, you ran the thought by Leigh of her moving in with you albeit you both knew it was far too soon in the relationship for such a thing to happen. So, you both compromised in a sense, Leigh would come and stay with you for three days in the week and spend the rest of the time in her apartment since Amy her mother decided to sell their family house due to her going back to Alaska.

Even though none of you voiced how sad you felt about not living together permanently it was an unspoken agreement between the two of you that it was a bit too soon in the relationship to take this big of a step forward. As well as that Leigh still wasn’t completely certain about moving on with someone completely even if it was with you, so she was taking things slowly and at her own pace that she was comfortable with and she was happy to know you were completely understanding of that as you agreed upon back in Vietnam. Although she couldn’t help but feel bad about it since she felt like she was holding you back, but you reassured her that everything was okay.

Whilst you were back in music and writing mode fully. Leigh was still working with Drew on her essays about her grief and how she is coping and not making the mistake she did before, by leaving you the person that was helping her, and she was doing everything with whilst also working on the advice column as well. However, a thought crossed Leigh’s mind recently and she didn’t know who to bring it up to or even how to bring it up with the possibility of people doubting her. Sure, she is a writer and has been writing things continuously for years, but it was never anything of this size. Leigh wanted to become an author….an actual author. She had a lightbulb moment as she was writing one of her essays where she thought why doesn’t she just put all of her thoughts, experiences and journey through grief and being a widow into one book.

She knew she could just collect all of her essays and throw them into a book but that didn’t please her and didn’t seem authentic enough for her. She just felt and knew some good could come from this if she just figured out how to work this out and who to tell to help her in this venture. Of course, she could tell you, you were her partner she knew you’d support her in any endeavour she wanted, it would also help considering you write for a living as well albeit in a slightly different manner, but then she had Drew who may be suited better for something of this calibre, but Drew may also be too harsh. This was the loop she was stuck in that she couldn’t get out of.

Here she was in your house waiting for you to get home sitting at your table, elbows perched on top of the table whilst her hands are placed on her temples. Staring at a rather unplanned word document for this book, thinking of how to talk to you about this. Just as those thoughts crossed her mind, she heard the jingle of your keys unlocking the door. “Leigh honey, I’m assuming it’s you in here with all the lights on and not some sort of robber or crazy fan.” Leigh chuckled softly as she got up from the chair to approach you “I can assure you that it’s only me Y/N/N.” As you kick the door shut you can’t help but grin as you stare at Leigh “And boy am I so glad to see you.”

“How come, rough day at work?”

You can’t help but let out a groan as you fall back onto the sofa “yeah I guess you could say that, it was just us doing a bunch of tedious stuff-” You notice Leigh arch her eyebrow for you to tell her what exactly you were doing “I was getting to it Leigh, we were just rearranging and changing the littlest of things whether it was with my vocals or the instruments. Nothing writing-wise don’t worry all the lyrics are exactly the same as when you last heard them.” You couldn’t see it, but Leigh was grinning to herself before she spun around and placed a quick kiss on your forehead as she approached her laptop again. As you were staring at Leigh, you squinted your eyes and pursed your lips “what are you doing over there Hun?” You heard the immediate inhale come from her and her hands froze over her keyboard. You couldn’t lie, that reaction did make you quite nervous, but you trusted Leigh.

Very quickly Leigh got her thoughts under control, she cleared her throat and turned towards you slightly “Right I’m going to tell you, but you got to promise me you won’t judge me or anything.” You can’t help but laugh lightly at the statement, but you clear your throat to get serious as you see Leigh look pleadingly at you “I promise you Leigh Shaw I will not be judgy purely because I was the college student who had the wildest dream of becoming a musician…. now here I am doing that honestly quite weird career.” Leigh couldn’t help but laugh at your ramble, she glanced back at the screen again and took a deep breath. “Iwannabecomeanauthorandwriteabook.” You honestly had no other reaction but to stare at Leigh in complete and utter confusion as your mouth opened and closed as if you were a fish out of water.

As much as you tried not to you chuckled slightly but covered it up with a cough “Leigh, honey, sweetie I did not understand a word that came out of your mouth because you talked so fast.” Leigh threw her head back as she sighed “I said that I wanna become an author and write a book.” Leigh watched you expectedly waiting to gauge your reaction; she couldn’t help but smirk slightly as she saw a grin spread across your face. You dashed off of the sofa and pulled her up into a tight hug. “Leigh I am so proud of you, this is such a big deal and I believe in you one hundred percent, I really do hope you know that.” Leigh nodded quickly in response as her arms went around your neck, you gazed at her in pure adoration as you started to speak in a sing-songy voice “soooo what’s it going to be about?” Leigh took another deep breath in as she glanced back down at her laptop screen. “I think It’s going to be about how everyone deals with grief in different ways, specifically focusing on my journey and process through dealing with grief and becoming a widow and how I got to where I am today.”

As you were gazing at Leigh listening to her tangent of what her plan was for this book the soft grin that spread across your face couldn’t be stopped. You always got like this as she rambled about something she adored, whether it be some article she was writing or advice she was giving someone for her advice column. But whatever it was about the discussion of this book this was a far more passionate a side to Leigh you have never seen before with all your years of knowing her. You assumed it is due to the topic of conversation and what she will be discussing in the book, it left you with an immense feeling of pride for your partner.

Maybe you were in a daze for a lot longer than you were anticipating considering the next thing you felt was Leigh’s hands cupping your cheeks “Y/N/N, Babe you good?” You nodded instantly “I’ve never been better.” As your eyes ran over Leigh’s face, she let out a little giggle as she placed a quick peck on your cheek and ran her thumbs over your cheekbones. “Good I’m glad.” You gave one last squeeze to her hips as you loosened your grip around her hips and placed another kiss on her lips. You slowly started walking backwards still keeping your eyes on her “Alright I’m just going to run back upstairs with this bag with my laptop, all my music things and stuff in it and I’ll be right back down, and we can relax for the rest of the night watching movies, that sound good?”

Of course, to be annoying Leigh started groaning “ugh Come on if it’s just your laptop and stuff leave it here bring it up when we go to bed. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages.” You grinned as you played with the strap of your bag as you walked up the stairs “I’ll be super quick, you won’t even know I’ll be gone. Your treat, you can pick what movies we watch, what snacks we eat and what drinks…. If it’s alcohol or not you get the idea.” Leigh slowly approached the sofa as she was staring back at you trying to suppress a laugh with her eyes narrowed at you “fine, that’s a good deal. No, go hurry up.” The second those words left her mouth you raced up the stairs to do what you had to do.

That night, as you both were lying in your bed asleep something, happened to Leigh that hadn’t happened to her since her and Danny were at the resort. She actually dreamt of Matt again. Though for some reason this time around she did not want to be dreaming of him, as much as she tried to wake herself up nothing was letting her. So, in her dreamlike state, she decided, albeit reluctantly she let her body relax. And the second she decided to settle she could hear Matt’s voice…faintly but she could hear it.

“Leigh, I’m here. Leigh, stop. Leigh, listen to me.” It was when she finally calmed did it hit her why she couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, well for one reason she had you and she couldn’t lie she has never felt happier than when she is around you. However, on the other hand, she literally cannot stomach the sight of Matt since Danny decided to blurt out the fact about what could have happened…...may have happened…. or possibly did happen between Matt and Nina and it made her sick to her stomach. Although she literally could not complain it could be said it was the exact same thing with you and her. God her and Matt together were really…. something when you sit and think about it. So unwillingly Leigh raises her eyes to look at Matt. She swallowed dryly as she spoke “Matt.”

Matt smirked lightly at the sound of his name leaving her mouth “Leigh. I know I can tell you really don’t wanna be here right now. But trust me when I say I will not keep you here for long. I just want to tell you and let you know it is okay to move on and live your life with Y/N. Don’t hold yourself back any longer from letting yourself fall fully for them. It’s been long enough Leigh of you holding yourself back from being in relationships with people. Even holding family members at arm's length. Dive in fully Leigh.” Leigh didn’t notice the tears building up in her eyes until she felt them roll down her cheeks as she nodded subtly and whispered “Thank you, Matt, this was something I needed to hear, and I didn’t even know it. But I want my last thing for you to hear is…I did really love you, I loved you a lot, Matt.” Matt smiled…a truthfully happy smile, one that Leigh hadn’t seen for a long time since Matt’s depression got worse. “I know you did Leigh, and I hope you know I did really love you too.” Leigh stared at Matt as she accepted everything that just happened, the acceptance of everything but before she could say anything else the scene around her slowly started to fade out.

As Leigh woke and came to her senses as her eyes opened in the middle of the night. Her eyes scanned around the room she was currently lying in as she got her bearings again. She realizes she’s in your room, she can hear the soft inhale and exhale of your breathing as you continue to sleep. She turns over to face your back, as much as you two slept together in the same bed you both kept to yourselves and your sides of the bed as you slept. Both not being fully over the guilt and accepting you both can move on now. But as Leigh layed there coming to terms with the dream she just had, as she watched your shoulders rise and fall with each breath you were taking a small smile escaped across her face as what she imagined to be acceptance, finally allowing herself to fall and enjoy this relationship fully. Leigh slowly and very hesitantly propped herself on her elbow as she inched over closer to you making sure to not wake you in the process.

She draped her arm across your stomach and grabbed onto some of your shirt to make sure she was as close as she could be to you. Leigh breathed out a sigh of relief as she laid her head on the pillow beside you and took in your scent. Being able to relax fully for once…in a really… really long time. Leigh knew at that moment that would have to be another topic she would have to discuss in her book…. How it may have taken a while to accept and realize that it is okay to move on and find love again but that it is totally okay and proper. Needless to say, when you woke up the next morning you were surprised to see an arm draped over your stomach and the feeling of Leigh’s breathing hitting the back of your neck. Whilst it made you smile slightly you couldn’t help but feel the annoying gnawing feeling in the back of your mind and stomach. That guilt you still haven’t been able to come to terms with. You knew you’d have to deal with it and face it head-on sooner or later. But for now, you take a deep breath, place your hand on top of Leigh’s and close your eyes with the plan of going back to sleep.

Needless to say, the next few weeks were busy for Leigh, as well as working her normal daily jobs the second she was finished she would either end up in her apartment or yours working on her book. You both were currently sitting in your office Leigh working on her book and you doing what seemed like a hundred and one things. From going between doing work on your laptop, writing things down in your notebook and going from instrument to instrument figuring things out, Leigh honestly couldn’t figure out how you dealt and kept up with it all. You couldn’t lie ever since that morning you woke up with Leigh cuddling you, she had become a lot more affectionate than she already was and was spending a lot more time with you and around you…again not like you were complaining. You had no idea what changed with her, you adored it, but you couldn’t help but feel even more guilty about not giving her the same in return. “Hey Y/N/N?”

You spin in your chair to face Leigh as you hum “mhmm what’s up Leigh?”

“Do you mind if I make you my soundboard for a sec, just to see if what I have written makes sense and well…make sure it sounds good?”

“Yeah sure of course, I mean…you listen to my ramblings far too much it’s the least I could do for you Hun.”

“Okay so uhhh, here is what I have.” Leigh pauses ever so slightly and clears her throat “My analogy has always been, we all have this backpack that we wear that is full of trauma and pain and loss. And we walk through life with this weight on us. When you lose someone, the backpack doesn’t change the person doesn’t become forgotten, you just have to adjust how you get through life with that adjustment and that new weight.” You hear Leigh take a deep breath and her eyes stay stuck on her laptop screen “So um…. yeah, that’s what I have at the moment…. uh how does it sound?” you stare at her mouth agape, you close your eyes and blink rapidly to and get rid of the tears. You clear your throat and shake your head “Leigh that…that is amazing. Perfect even. It… it explains everything so well and in a way that is so easy to understand.” As you gazed at Leigh as she started doing a little happy dance in her seat as she concentrated back on her work, it was in that moment you realized you were going to have to face your issues head-on with this guilt of Matt dying and dating Leigh. It was time to come to terms with it.

As you glanced at the time you realized just how long the both of you had been cooped up in this room, “hey Leigh d’you want me to go downstairs and make some stuff for lunch? Or do you just want me to do like…an early dinner?” You smirked as you saw Leigh’s hands pause over her keyboard as she thought about it “uhhh just make some lunch and we can do something for dinner later.” You push yourself off of your office chair and stride over to her and kiss the top of her head “I’ll try to get it done asap for you miss Shaw.” Leigh grinned up at you as you kissed her head relishing in the contact with you. Leigh watched you as you exited the room and heard the padding of your feet as you went downstairs.

She spun around and looked at your desk, as her eyes were darting across the table, she saw a huge folder with big LS initials on it and in tiny writing were the words, Leigh Shaw. The smile that spread across her face couldn’t be taken off her face as she approached your desk. As she flicked open the folder, she saw a bunch of music sheets with melodies written on them and some with just lyrics. Leigh didn’t realize how much time had passed as she was looking through all these songs that somehow relate to her or are just about her, some unreleased, some for your upcoming album and some she’s never ever seen or heard of. She was in awe right now seeing this collection of work that was all dedicated to her. Leigh was so enamoured she didn’t even hear you come up the stairs and into the room and jumped slightly when she heard the plates and mugs being placed on the desk. She laughed sheepishly as she looked up at you “heh….hi.”

You bit your lip slightly to stop a laugh from escaping as you raised your eyebrows slightly “Hi Hun… so what you got there?”

Leigh started moving her hands in the hair “psshh…it’s nothing…. well, no it is something and I’m sorry for snooping in your things I- I just saw my initials then my name and curiosity got the better of me Y/N I am so sorry.”

You couldn’t stop the laugh that left your mouth “Leigh, Hun it’s fine, you’re fine, you’re okay. It's not like I was exactly hiding that huge folder it was out in the open for literally anyone to see and read. I was just wondering how long it would take you to find it or at least notice it.”

Leigh grinned to herself as she ran her fingers on the page that was opened. “But, wait hold on Y/N there are so many songs here that you have written here that in some shape or form relate to me? I thought the only song you wrote about me before was Green Eyes? Where did all these come from?”

You sighed as you sat down on your chair as you wrapped your arms around her waist and dragged her down with you to sit on your lap. “I always had a bunch of songs written about you Leigh, you…you were my muse….my inspiration. Green Eyes just happened to be the song I finished the quickest and also happened to be the song I was the proudest of but I- of course for obvious reasons didn’t want it to be released. The others just took so long to write but they did end up getting finished. A lot of them were during our college years…but as you now know a lot of them are either getting put on this album or the next or the next or the one after that.” Leigh couldn’t help but laugh at you droning on about the possibilities of what songs could be on what albums, so she did one of the few things she knew would shut you up.

Leigh rolled her eyes and placed her hand over your mouth to quieten you down. “Okay Y/N sweetie, I get it now.” You stared up at her with soft eyes and you made sure when she least expected it, you decided to lick the palm of her hand. With the look of disgust that crossed Leigh’s face, you couldn’t help but laugh as she wiped her hand against your shirt as Leigh whined “ugh Y/N you’re so gross, why’d you have to ruin the moment.”

As your laughter died down you stared at her “I’m very sorry, how inappropriate and very gross of me to do such a thing. But you can’t deny that you don’t love me, you love me very much.”

Leigh sat against you with her head on your shoulder by your neck as she grabbed her food to start eating it. “You are very right, I do love you, I love you a whole lot.” You both smiled happily as you reached over for your food and started eating together.

A few days after that incident, the piece that Leigh wrote would not leave your head, which of course ended up in you basically thinking about Matt constantly and you trying to move towards this acceptance and get on with your life and relationship. So, you tried to move towards that acceptance the only way you knew how…albeit you felt slightly weird about it. You started writing a song about Matt…. a song for Matt? Either way, it was a song aimed at Matt. which eased your guilt ever so slightly. Leigh told you she’d be gone for a while since she was meeting up with Drew about her advice column and to discuss her book with him as Leigh said “he seems like he’d know how to help me with well….this book stuff.”

So here you were now walking in the graveyard looking for Matt’s gravestone to…. talk to him or maybe more so talk at him. As you were navigating around the graveyard you started clicking your tongue as you muttered to yourself “alright Matt where the heck are ya. I’ve been wandering around this graveyard for quite some time now.” As you continue to aimlessly walk through searching for his gravestone, eyes scanning every inch of the graveyard. If you weren’t so apprehensive about doing this you would’ve found the next thing to happen quite cute, although it was probably coincidental. Your eyes had just gotten a glimpse of the name Matthew James Greer on a headstone just as a butterfly landed on it. As you approached his grave a million and one thoughts crossed your mind. Honestly, you didn’t really know why you came here, you met him once as a favor to perform at his wedding for his bride…his wife… who was your best friend in college…. who you are now dating. Maybe you should have made more of an effort in college to get to know him better, for all of your sakes.

You clear your throat “Uh Hi Matt, this is kind of odd…. mostly because I know you can’t respond to me but also because you probably only know me as the person that performed on your wedding day for your wife Leigh. I don’t know how much you actually heard about me from Leigh after that performance or even before when you both started dating during college because-” you can’t help but shake your head and laugh slightly

“if Leigh ever did mention it to you before something about a best friend, she had during college that was always stubborn and too busy to meet you because of their music. That was me, I was that best friend. Thinking back now I obviously wasn’t the best because I should’ve tried to get to know my best friend's boyfriend regardless of anything else that was going on or being felt. I guess I just want to actually introduce myself to you as Leigh’s best friend…even though I know it is a very odd and weird situation. But nevertheless, Hi Matt, nice to meet you I’m Y/N Y/L/N Leigh’s best friend. We can ignore the music career for a moment. I just want to tell you…. if you’re hearing me somehow. That I kept my distance from you and Leigh because I had feelings for her for years all the time back in college and I didn’t know how to cope with that and thought I didn’t have a chance with her. So, I saw she was happy with you, and I let her be at her happiest with you. Those few hours I saw the two of you interacting on your wedding day, I knew you were good together and looked out for each other…now I of course don’t know the whole ins and outs of your relationship, but I know you cared for her and did your best and you truly loved her. And I know it’s probably weird now your wife’s new partner coming to talk to you about all of this…. but I just want you to know I will protect her with everything I have, and I will shower her with all of the love physically possible. I….I guess I just want you to know that she’ll be safe with me…or well to the best of my abilities.” you paused slightly to wet your lips after talking so long.

“Although about my music career, a few days ago Leigh read me an excerpt from a piece she had written for a book she’s writing about her journey with grief, acceptance and moving on. There was just something about it that hit me very hard, which resulted in me very quickly writing a song about, you, Leigh and I guess me kind of? And this weird situation. Considering I don’t know you well or at all. But it was therapeutic for me…. hugely. I never reference any of us by name and I’ve ever so slightly changed what actually happened, but it just sums up how I feel or well maybe felt about this whole situation it's called The Good Side. And I imagine it all probably could’ve been handled and dealt with better. But I-uh I just wanted to let you know first before anyone…not even Leigh knows. I’m not 100% sure if it’ll actually end up on any album of mine…but maybe it will if I get the courage to share it with people. But…...yeah thank you, Matt.”

You take a deep breath after that speech and place your hand on top of his headstone as you tap it slightly as you walk backwards staring at his name. Before you finally turn around and walk away with home in mind.

What you didn’t know earlier that day before Leigh went to meet with Drew again for her book and advice column. She went to the graveyard to visit Matt and talk to him, she couldn’t lie, she was ashamed she wasn’t going as much as she should have. Leigh stared at his name as she fumbled with a ring she was holding in her hands.

“This is going to sound terrible when I say it out loud first. I’m not staying here long to talk because well I have to meet with Drew to discuss work and my book…I’m writing a book about my grief and my journey with it…. It’s called Sorry for Your Loss. But the reason I’m not staying here long is that I have another way I actually want to do this…to speak to you. Remember that time when my mother got in contact with a friend, and I took drugs to meet you on your plane instead of mine. Well, I’m going to try to do that again so we can have an actual conversation and I know you’ll be hearing what I say, and you can respond accordingly. But anyways why I’m actually right now to bury this little ring I bought for it to be with you…and for you to have a piece of me at all times with you. Because you weren’t getting my actual wedding ring, whilst I may not wear it as much now, I still want it, to hold and to keep, to remind me of what I had once and what was good to me and for me once. That it wasn’t all just made up and a lie that my brain made up. Maybe at some stage, I’ll end up wearing my engagement and wedding ring on a necklace or something…. maybe…but there is a possibility it might get lost….and you know how I feel about losing things…especially things that are precious to me. But now I’m rambling and not doing what I’m here to do.”

Leigh kneels down into the grass as she starts digging a hole for the ring she bought, making sure it was deep enough that nothing would happen to it. Leigh sits back onto her legs as she stares at Matt’s name engraved into the stone and the now covered hole that’s protecting the ring. Leigh sighs as she stands up dusting off her pants and hands. She smiles sadly down at the plot of land as she whispers “I’ll see and talk to you soon Matt, I have someone else I need to go talk to.”

As Leigh was approaching the door to their apartment, she couldn’t help but repeatedly mumble the phrase to herself “please don’t slam the door in my face, please don’t slam the door in my face.” She waited patiently in front of the door, she knocked and as the person approached the door on the other side, she could hear their footsteps. As soon as they opened the door Leigh’s head shot up to look at the person as she nervously bit her lip. The second Danny realized it was Leigh on the other side of the door he promptly went to slam the door she ran over and stuck her foot in between the closing of the door as she pressed her hand against it. “Danny, Danny, Danny. I won’t be here long I’m just here to say sorry and apologize for everything I did and how I acted around you. It was frankly unforgivable and horrible. So, if you just give me a few minutes and I’ll be out of your hair for good. You’ll never have to see me again. As Leigh was scanning Danny’s face trying to get a read on what his answer was going to be. Danny loosens his grip on the door and leans against the door frame as he lets out a breath and nods. “Okay say whatever you have to say.”

Leigh lets out a deep breath as she fumbles with her hands and fingers. “Danny I’m so sorry for how everything went down and happened between us since Matt’s death. How everything happened was truly unforgivable. As terrible as it is to say it was a way for me to deal with my grief…it was a weird part of my grieving and healing process. Because…. Because I think in a way even if I didn’t admit it openly to me or to you…. though you may not want to hear this…you reminded me of Matt…. you- you were that last link to Matt for me and when we were doing whatever it was that we had going on. I was acting how I was when I was with Matt and honestly, it makes me sick that I treated you as a copy of him and as a coping mechanism-” Leigh paused as she ran her hands over her face and groaned as she mumbled “God this is going to sound so pretentious of me but I wrote something the other day for my book specifically about that time in my life and grief I wrote. We suffered a loss, and you don’t make major life decisions when you’re reeling from a loss. And that is exactly what we did, what we all did, we made a huge decision at the peak of our grief that changed our whole dynamic, that we cannot even stand to talk or even see each other anymore. For Christ's sake I was married to your brother, to me we’re still family no matter what. But due to the choices that we made it’s ruined that dynamic. So, I just want to say again I am truly sorry for what I did Danny and for treating you as if you were Matt, and as a coping mechanism.”

When Leigh finally gets the courage to look Danny in the eyes she swallows dryly as she sees his unreadable expression. She raises her eyebrows slightly to get any response. He starts to nod slowly as he clears his throat. “Leigh, your apology is accepted, and I hope you know I’m sorry as well for how I treated you. As you said we were at the peak of our grief. But um…. I’m not going to say we can never see each other again or hang out since as you said we still are family…at least in a sense. I just- I just need to get to the grips of our dynamic now so we can regularly talk Leigh. But for now, I think…I think this is it.”

Leigh smiles and nods sadly as she takes in everything Danny is saying.

Just as Danny is about to close the door again, he pops his head out around the corner “but that’s not saying you’re not going to get a random emoji sent to you from time to time…you know just so you know I’m alive and you’re alive…right?”

Leigh lets out a watery laugh as she smiles and nods hastily. “Definitely, Danny. See you around.”

Danny smirks as he slowly closes the door “See you around Leigh.”

Leigh was meant to go back to her own apartment once after her meeting with Drew and with her mom’s friend Neil again to get some DMT. She decided it would be best to have you around in case something went wrong. The minute she got in the door she leaned her back against it to close it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. As she tried to relax and calm herself after the exhausting day of fixing and making things right with so many people. As well as putting the finishing touches on her book and getting ready to decide to either publish it independently or with a publishing house. She was convincing herself it would all be worth it in the end.

As you came down the stairs you looked over at Leigh leaning against the door with her eyes closed. You chuckled softly “hey Hun, you, okay? Are you just taking a lil nap by the door?” Leigh grinned the second she heard your voice “I’m okay sweetie, I was just taking a minute to myself after a long day.”

Your brows furrow as look at Leigh “Long day? What happened? Is there anything I can do to help?” Leigh smirked as she walked over and pulled you into a hug “no you’re okay, I just went to visit Matt’s grave today, after that, I went to talk to Danny to clear things up and apologize for the way everything was handled and I finalized everything writing-wise anyway when it comes to the book so now I just have to decide if I want to publish it independently or with a publishing house.” You smile as you place your lips against the top of Leigh’s head and place multiple kisses on top as you mumble “I am so freaking proud of you and you for writing this book.” You pause slightly as you clear your throat “but um how was being at Matt’s grave and talking to Danny again after so long? Oh, also I visited Matt’s grave today to just talk to him as Y/N Y/L/N Leigh’s college best friend not as the musician Y/N. Well…. Until the end when I said I wrote a song with him, you and I in mind.”

Leigh hums against you “The visit with Matt was good, I just buried a lil ring I bought not so long ago so he’d have a piece of me with him all the time because I didn’t wanna get rid of my wedding ring. The talk with Danny went okay I apologized for everything, especially how I treated him. We may not talk or meet up for a while but that’s okay. I know I’ve done everything I can. Huh…. odd we both went to visit Matt on the same day…. But did it do you any good?”

Leigh grins into your chest as she feels you nod above her “yeah, yeah it did.” You feel Leigh tense up slightly in your embrace “Leigh, you good?”

Leigh pulls away from you slightly to look up at you “there’s one thing I wanna run by you, that I’m going to do I just want to know if you’re going to be okay with it. Though I have done it before.” Your hands grip her jacket a little tighter as you nod hesitantly waiting for her to elaborate. “So before whilst you were off in Vietnam, my mom called up one of her hold friends called Neil and he gave me DMT a-”

“a hallucinogenic, psychedelic drug.”

“Yes, exactly that, because Jules dreamed about him during that time, and I wasn’t having dreams of him anymore. So, I just wanted to see him so one of the only ways to do that was by this drug. So today when I went to visit him. I told Matt I would be contacting this friend again to get this drug to talk to him fully, to tell him everything. Everything that has happened and what I have coincidentally put into the book as well. What way me and you were in college, how I will always truly love him but honestly will probably never get over his death and all the unanswered questions I have in regard to him. But I have to move on and go forward and that is with you Y/N, I’d like to think the love of my life. And really just how fucking annoying it is and was when people tiptoe around me and everything else, they do that irritates me. I just…I just want to know if you’re okay with me telling him all of this even though it’s all going to be in my book anyway. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable in this whole situation.”

You shake your head hastily as you placed kisses around her face, “You Miss Leigh Shaw do whatever you have to in this situation to make you feel at peace. I’m…although I hate the word a celebrity, I’m sure people would find out these things about me or possibly already have. Do what you got to do Miss Shaw.”

“You are the greatest partner ever Y/N Y/L/N.” She leans up on her tippy toes as she places a chaste kiss against your lips. “But I do have one more question to ask, would you mind staying in the room with me and doing this whole thing with me. Just in case something goes wrong or happens that I need you right after?”

You nod instantly as you look down at her with soft eyes “I will do whatever you need me to do Leigh. I am right here, and I am never leaving your side.” You both pause briefly as you take a deep breath and intertwine your hands together as you walk up the stairs together.

As you get Leigh situated in a comfortable position on the bed and have the lights in the room dim as you hold the pipe between your fingers. “You ready for this?” Leigh nods slowly as she eyes the pipe as you bring it to her lips. “Wait wait wait, before you do anything.” you look at her with your eyebrows raised waiting for her to continue “can you play some of the instrumentals of your music on your phone whilst I’m doing this thing. Not exactly loud, just faintly. So, when I come back to here, I’m not going crazy thinking I’ve gone deaf or something from this.”

You can’t help the chuckle that leaves your lips as you nod and place a quick peck on her lips “of course Hun.” You grab your phone out of your back pocket and do as she says. You raise the pipe up to her lips once again, she leans forward as she places her lips around the opening of the pipe. When you see her eyes start to close and her body goes limp you make sure to lean her back slowly and softly onto the bed. As you sit at the foot of the bed.

One second Leigh was present in the room with you the next thing she knew she was standing in the same room as last time when she did this to see Matt, however the only difference this time was that there was no glass separating the two of them. Without even thinking about it she ran straight for him and embraced him in a tight hug as she just laid her head against his chest for a few minutes. She couldn’t help but feel calm as she felt his hand rubbing her back after a few minutes of standing in silence and hugging Matt, she decided to pull away from him to look at him. “I- uh it is really nice to see you again Matt.”

Matt smiled slightly as he nodded “it’s good to see you as well Leigh.”

She chuckles humorlessly as she says “I guess I should start the discussion I actually wanted to say to you now. Because I don’t know how long this state or place is going to last. Everything I’m discussing with you here I’ve written into my book, you’ll just be getting a much more condensed version of it.” Matt nods slowly as he gazes at Leigh. “I know Y/N visited you at your grave and said whatever they had to say to help them. That can stay private because it was for them, they needed it, I’m just glad they did something that helped them even if it was ever so slightly. But um, I guess I wasn’t completely honest with you when it came to our wedding and even after it. Because um the reason why I’d be playing Y/N’s music so much was that they were my best friend in college so, of course, I continued to support them. But I feel like I should’ve made it clear with you from the start when I was referencing my best friend in college that it was them, I was talking about. I- I guess at that time with you I think I saw them as still my little secret no one really knew about them yet when I should’ve just been honest-”

Leigh gets cut off by Matt’s laughs “Leigh before you carry on, I have to say I also think you weren’t telling me about them because there were feelings there for them that you never knew you had…. or maybe you did know and pushed them away because it was so long ago. But I have a feeling that’s why you never mentioned them to me as well in case you said or let something slip that I shouldn’t have known.”

Leigh stares at him wide-eyed as her mouth is slightly agape as she nods slowly as she comes to that realization “yeah…. yeah, that too. I will say though Y/N in college and still, now they haven’t changed they truly were amazing and the best person you could ever meet. I’m… it does make me slightly sad and upset they never truly got to meet you. We really had the best of times, they’d listen to all my ramblings and deal with me being difficult and stubborn. Much like you dealt with me whenever I was like that. I’d listen and try to help them out to the best of my abilities when it came to music and lyrics much like I still do today. We just worked well together. But I guess them pulling away from me in college and even after college it all makes sense now since I found out they had feelings for me. I do really wish they had met you because now that I think of it you both are kind of similar, I imagine you both would have gotten on well together and you both would have been great at annoying the hell out of me yet have been very protective of me no matter what.”

Matt smiles at Leigh softly full of adoration “I am really glad you’re happy now Leigh by yourself and with Y/N because it does sound like they do bring out the best in you.” Leigh laughs quietly to herself, and she looks down at her shoes to hide the slight blush on her cheeks at the thought of you.

When it hits her the next topic, she wants to discuss is Leigh feels the tears building up in her eyes she shuts them quickly and blinks rapidly trying to get rid of them. But she hears a faint “Leigh.” come from Matt's mouth so she slowly raises her eyes to meet his “you know you don’t have to hide your emotions from me, I understand that this is a lot for you to go through and then have to talk about it. With the person that in a way caused those hard times. Leigh shakes her head rapidly as if it was the most absurd thing he could have ever said.

“No no, it’s fine. I just- I want you to know yet again that I did truly love you and I think I always will no matter what purely because…okay maybe this is going to sound a bit cliche but that was our own unique relationship and love and no one can or will take that from us, Matt. But I also think…no no I know that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over your death no matter how hard I try, no matter who is around me. But I…I can’t stay in that place of grieving feeling stuck forever feeling hurt and pain because I just won’t be able to survive that, living in that pain, hurt and grieving for as long as I live. I can’t survive. I won’t survive it. So, I have to move on with my life and move forward. As much as that may sting as well, it just has to be done.”

Leigh sighs softly as she realizes she’s nearing the end of her discussion as she leans against the wall in this weird place. “This …one of the last things I wanna say to you isn’t directly to do with you, it’s just about grief in general and what annoys me about it. I had this conversation with Danny quite soon after your death, but I just need to say it to someone else again. I hate when people use the word condolences. I hate how in the beginning, everyone wants to send you flowers and donate to, like, a foundation for your dead person. And then they stop calling and writing and doing nice things for you because they're over it, and they expect you to be over it. I hate running into someone I haven't seen in a long time, and I know they know you’re dead. But we have an entire conversation, and they never bring you up. They never say they're sorry. They don't ask how I'm doing. They just pretend like everything's fine. I hate that.”

She runs her hands over her face as she takes a breath “someone sent in a question before to my advice column and it was about a break-up right after you had passed, and it has been stuck in my head ever since and especially how I was going to answer it. What they asked me was, ‘Everyone keeps telling me that I'll get over him. Everyone keeps telling me it's not the end of the world, but if that's true, then why does it feel like the end of the world?’. The answer I had typed out was ‘The reason everyone keeps telling you it's not the end of the world is because it's not the end of their world. They don't have to figure out how to live inside a world that's over. You do.’ And I think I can finally say…. I’ve figured out or at least starting to figure out how to live inside a world that doesn’t involve you.”

Matt grins at Leigh albeit sadly he takes her into a warm and loving embrace. “I’m very proud of you Leigh and I just know you’re going to achieve great things.” As Leigh has her head pressed against her chest a thought comes to mind and she mumbles “Hey Matt, can I ask you one last question before I go?”

Matt tenses slightly but nods albeit hesitantly “yeah go ahead.”

Leigh takes a deep breath as she steps away from him “Matt, how did you die? Was it an accident or did you do it on purpose?”

Matt lets out an exasperated sigh “Leigh…”

Leigh shakes her head slowly “no Matt just tell me. I need some sort of closure for that question”

Matt sighs as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath “okay okay, but you have to promise me this stays with you. No one else gets to know.” Leigh nods instantly as she stares at him with soft eyes.

“Leigh it was-”

One second you were nearly falling asleep with your eyes closed at the foot of the bed, the next thing you heard Leigh gasp as her eyes shot open. You quickly ran up to sit beside her as you ran your hands all over her face making sure she was okay. “Hey hey, Leigh, Hun, you, okay? Are you good?”

Leigh instantly softens at your touch as she subtly leans into it and nods slowly as she whispers out “I’m good, no need to worry about me. I think we both just need to enjoy a relaxing night for the two of us night after a rather long day.

It's been a few weeks now since that night. Leigh decided to publish her book with a publishing house. It was no surprise to you and everyone else that her book was very well received and quickly rose to be a number one bestseller. As for the album…that was actually finalized, and the talks of the tour had started and finished very quickly. As your management started booking venues and states for you to tour. Which…. You had yet to tell Leigh about not with bad intentions you just wanted this time to be about her and the success she was having. You didn’t wanna rain on her parade.

This explains where you are right now, which is in a room standing beside Leigh as she talks to all of her friends that came to a little party to celebrate Leigh’s book being labelled as a number 1 best seller. You knew Leigh was a bit sad that her mother Amy and Jules weren’t there to celebrate with her although she was trying to convince you it was fine, she had you to celebrate with her and that’s all she needed. But little did she know you got into contact with them and luckily it didn’t take much convincing for them to come to visit and celebrate with their daughter and sister.

You lean your head against the top of Leigh’s as you both hear a knock. Leigh’s about to answer it as you tug her backwards by her dress, you place a kiss against her temple as you mutter “I’ll answer it, you stay with everyone else Hun.”

Leigh looks at you with furrowed brows “but everyone is here already Y/N/N.” You give her waist a tight squeeze and a tight-lipped smile as you go answer the door. Leigh can’t help but eye you suspiciously as she watches you walk off but ends up shrugging it off and falling back into conversation with Becca and Drew. As you pulled open the door you let out a sigh of relief as you saw the two people Leigh wanted most right in front of you. You grinned as you pulled them both into a tight hug not quite believing they were actually here. After a few minutes, you heard Amy say “alright, where’s the girl we should be celebrating today?”

Your smile couldn’t get any bigger than it already was yet somehow it did “She’s right inside the last time I saw her she was talking to Drew and Becca about something.” You moved to the side of the door to let Amy and Jules through as you closed the door behind them. The second you had the door closed you heard Leigh faintly say “honey, who was at the door?”

You walked in behind Amy and Jules standing behind Leigh “why don’t you look behind you and find out?” Simultaneously everybody looked to where your voice came from as a collective gasp was heard throughout the whole room. Leigh spun around to face you with her mouth agape the second she saw her mother and sister, the tears streaming down her face didn’t even register with her as she ran over to embrace both of them. You smiled softly at the three of them as you stepped back to give them their own time together but before you could go anywhere Leigh stuck out her hand and grabbed your shirt and pulled you over to them to join the hug.

As you’re all still standing in the hug one of the members of Leigh’s team walks in and clears her throat. “Alright everybody we have a very special and important announcement to make for the main woman of the day. All of us are very proud and honoured to have worked with Leigh for the last while and hope for us to work together more in the future. But for now, we are all very pleased to say that Leigh Shaw’s very first book Sorry for Your Loss is officially a number one bestseller. -” She gets interrupted by a round of applause and cheers from everyone in the room as Leigh starts to get teary-eyed again. As the applause and commotion start to die down, she clears her throat “and with that, we have an announcement to make Leigh has known about this for a few days now but everyone swore her to secrecy so she couldn’t even tell her amazing, brilliant partner Y/N, sorry about that by the way.” You shake your head and laugh slightly as Leigh’s grip on your shirt only seems to get tighter. “But we are proud to say our very own Leigh Shaw will be going on a book tour around America for a few weeks which will be starting very soon in a couple of weeks' time.”

You tense up ever so slightly but make sure to keep a smile on your face as you lean over and kiss the top of Leigh’s head and mumble “I’m so proud of you.” Unbeknownst to you, Leigh noticed how you immediately tensed at the news and plastered on what you thought was a believable smile. She could take a guess that you had news about your career and album but weren’t drawing attention to it, so all of the focus was on Leigh for a change and not you.

As it was nearing the end of the gathering and people were leaving, the anxious feeling you got since Leigh’s announcement only grew tenfold as you got told more information about when her book tour starts. Only because you knew you were going to have to tell her this before it got too late. Considering the party was at your house you walked Amy and Jules up to the spare rooms you had to rest for the night. You paused at the top of the stairs and took a deep breath in as you heard the clinking of glasses and plates as Leigh cleaned up downstairs. You very slowly and hesitantly started walking down the stairs to approach Leigh just as she walked past you into the living room with two mugs of tea. “You coming in here or not Y/N?” You walk into the living room albeit apprehensively as you sit beside Leigh. Which she wasn’t a fan of as she made you sit sideways so she could lie in between your legs as she handed you your mug. She spoke softly “you tensed up.”

Your brows furrowed slightly as you sip your tea “huh?”

“When the announcement was made about my book tour you tensed up and plastered on a smile. So, what haven’t you shared with me or well any of us yet.”

You let your head fall against the back of the sofa as you sigh “Well as you know my album releases in a few days and my tour starts very shortly after that. I think it could be just before your book tour starts or maybe even the same week.”

Both of you sat in silence for a few minutes as you both let this new information linger in the air and just fully sink in. Leigh turned around slowly to face as she came to the realization “Yo- you won’t be able to come with me on my book tour and I won’t be on yours.” You looked at Leigh sadly as you shook your head trying your best to keep the tears at bay “No, no I won’t be with you on your book tour, and it pains me to say I won’t be there with and for you.”

Leigh’s eyes dart rapidly around the room and across your face as she quickly tries to think of some solution on the spot “B-but can’t we- isn’t there something? -” Leigh deflates slightly as it hits her all at once “there’s nothing we can do to change this is there?”

You place both of your mugs onto the coffee table as you move your hands onto her cheeks to stop her tears from escaping. As your words come out broken “no there really isn’t anything we can do.”

The sobs that escaped Leigh surprised the both of you as she fell forward and cried into your chest. It felt like her whole body was hurting her with the sobs that came from her. You wrap your arms around Leigh and lift her up onto your lap as you rub her back. “It’s only for a few weeks Leigh, I believe we can do this, we can get through this, I’ll make sure we call, text, facetime and literally whatever else is possible in this day in age. To make sure we have constant contact even though I know it’s going to be a struggle and it’s going to suck with how much work we will have to do constantly whilst we’re both away. But I got you, you got me, we have each other. I’m-” you pause slightly to laugh “I’m going to say some lyrics to a new song I’ve been working on, it is probably going to sound very cliche and cheesy, but I like it, so I hope you do too. If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you. You’d be the spoon, dip you in honey, so I could be sticking to you.”

You feel the movement of Leigh laughing before you actually hear it as she hums in agreement “you were right that was very cliche and cheesy. What other lyrics do you have written for that song?”

You throw your head back in fake thought “Umm…. literally nothing that’s all I got so far besides knowing it’ll probably be called Daylight.”

Leigh leans her chin against your chest “that’s cute but why Daylight?”

You groan even more at that question “great even more cliche and cheesiness “Because whenever I see you, you just are the epitome of Daylight to me. You just shine so bright and bring a level of warmth into my life that no one else has ever been able to achieve. And that’s been since college not just recently.”

Leigh grins as she pats your cheek slightly “You’re cute. But come on let’s get ready for bed we have a busy few days ahead of us.” You sigh as you see her stand up holding her hand out for you to take. You intertwine your fingers between hers as you reluctantly stand up clean up the last few things and walk upstairs.

It had finally reached the day you both were dreading, the day you both wish you could’ve put off for as long as physically possible. You both over the last few weeks had naturally been stuck to each other's hips. Everywhere you could go you went together besides when it came to situations such as work or just using the bathroom. You both soaked up as much time together as physically possible. Here you both were standing outside your front door looking at the two different cars taking you both to two different states. That was another thing you both did. You basically studied your dates to see if you both were in the same states at any moment in time…. easy to say that wouldn’t be happening. You clenched your eyes as you turned towards Leigh and placed your hands on her cheeks as softly as you possibly could as if any rougher touch would shatter her like a porcelain doll. You placed a long passionate kiss on her lips trying to delay the inevitable. However, you slightly ruined the kiss by smiling slightly when you felt Leigh’s hands wrap around your wrists.

Leigh pulled back slightly as she rested her forehead against yours, you gazed at her softly as you murmured “It’s just us, always. No matter what, okay? Leigh nodded slowly as she gave you another kiss. You both reluctantly stepped away from each other as you walked toward your separate cars. As you both opened the doors you gave each other a look of understanding and nodded subtly to each other. That was the last thing you both saw as you sat in the car.

You were happy to say the first two weeks of the tour were easy and good for both of you. Both of you were getting good sleep, texting each other updates even if the other was busy and Leigh was even sending you pictures of your posters and billboards in different states and places as she travelled. So of course, in return, in every bookshop you passed that displayed Sorry for Your Loss in the window you took pictures and sent them to Leigh. Today was 2nd day off in a row which you were thankful for because your voice was going, and it needed the rest. So here you were lying on the bed in your hotel room in New York? Honestly, you couldn’t remember. But you were at your happiest because you were on facetime with your amazing partner who was also resting in her hotel for the night. However, she was giving out to you claiming “Y/N/N Honey as much as I love you, you need your voice for your job shouldn’t you not be talking altogether?”

You roll your eyes ever so slightly as you shrug “I mean I guess I should be but… I needed to hear your voice and actually see you in front of me for a few hours. I’m getting sick and tired of texting and not being able to hear or see you. And even then, I probably would’ve used voice notes and you would’ve been giving out to me through text.” Leigh rolled her eyes in response, but you could see the grin she was trying to hide from you. You zoned out slightly as you stared at something placed on the desk on the other side of the room, not realizing Leigh was trying to get your attention. But quickly came back to reality when you heard her softly say “hey honey, you good?” Your eyes dart back to the screen and grin as you nod. Leigh chuckles nervously

“okay, okay but honey why are you looking at me like that? You never looked at me this way before?”

You looked at her confused “I- I uh I dunno what way I just looked at you sorry, I guess I just miss you a lot that’s all Hun. But if you didn’t like it, I’ll try not to look at you that way ever again.”

Leigh rapidly shakes her head “no no no it’s okay I liked it, it- it was just new that’s all. But um the reason I was trying to get your attention Y/N/N was that I got to go get some sleep since I have to be up early tomorrow. But I loved that we got a day to just kind of exist together again for a few hours…. even if it was through facetime. It helped a bunch.” You smiled softly at her as you nodded “okay Hun, you go get some well-deserved sleep yeah?” Leigh grinned softly as she blew a kiss towards the camera and quickly disappeared off your screen.

It was the next few weeks where the issues and problems had started between the two of you. You were both getting more tired and stressed, which led to you both being quite cranky when it came to your usual texts and calls. You honestly couldn’t even recall what your arguments would be about, one second, you’d be talking filling each other in on any interesting interactions you’ve had. Then you’d both be yelling at each other. The only cause of the tension between the both of you was the possibility of not sleeping well due to becoming so accustomed to sleeping with and next to each other. Sleeping in a double bed alone with no one beside you after so long, the bed felt huge, you felt lost in it.

Which brought you to the conversation you were about to bring up now with Leigh. Everything was calm between you both so far, but you knew this could set her off. “Hey, Leigh?”

She hummed in response

You sighed, that was another addition during this time short snappy answers coming from both sides. Just no length, no detail at all to these messages. “Leigh is it alright if I ask you a question?”

Leigh tore her eyes away from whatever she was doing and stared at the screen as she raised her eyebrows waiting for you to continue.

You muttered a fuck under your breath when you saw her stare “I was just going to ask, how you’ve been sleeping whilst you’ve been away? I’m just wondering because-”

Leigh narrows her eyes at you and bites her lip slightly “What, what is it Y/N? Do I look tired and exhausted is that why you’re asking me? Am I not the pretty, beautiful Leigh you fell in love with?”

You stare at the screen shocked and puzzled as you stutter out “Wha- what no Leigh, you didn’t let me finish my question-”

Leigh cuts you off yet again “No, you know what Y/N am I so fucking sorry that me missing my partner, missing being around my partner 24/7 has such a negative effect on my looks, how I act, how I interact with people constantly, working and travelling constantly and driven me to a level of stress I didn’t even know existed. I am so sorry that my work has affected me in such a negative way that you can’t stand it anymore, possibly can’t stand me or even like me anymore. I am so sorry for doing that to you-”

You absent-mindedly had started pacing the room you were currently staying in “Leigh…oh my God Leigh will you let me finish and get out the rest of my fucking question? You’re freaking out and blowing up on me for no fucking reason here.”

Deep down Leigh knew she was being unreasonable here, but she just couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. She was just so overworked, tired, and stressed and she missed you so fucking much. She never realized until this tour just how much she loved and adored you. She just wanted you back in her arms, she was so attached to you, and she didn’t care if it wasn’t healthy. She needed you, she wanted you. But that didn’t stop the next words from tumbling out of her mouth.

“OH, for no fucking reason really!?” She grimaced internally as she scoffed you know what Y/N I think it’s best if we both go to sleep for the night.”

You scoffed slightly at the words coming out of her mouth you started to finish off your question whether she’d like it or not, that’s even if she heard it as she started to disconnect the call without even saying good night. As you hastily said, “I was just going to say I was just wondering because I have been missing you a lot and I haven’t been sleeping right without you beside me.”

She was gone off the screen as you finished the question. You thought she hadn’t heard the rest of the question as you threw your phone on your bed watching it roll to the floor.

Meanwhile, Leigh was staring blankly at her screen mouth agape with tears in her eyes as she heard what you were initially going to say to her. God, she was a fucking idiot. The sooner both tours were over the better.

It’s been a week since that night you and Leigh hadn’t texted or called each other. Radio silence. You both could’ve been dead and none of you would know. But you were on your way home to California for the last show of your tour. You couldn’t have been happier to be on the final date of the tour. You knew Leigh had still another 2 weeks of her tour you could only hope it would get easier for her, you could go and visit her on one of her dates…then again you two weren’t exactly talking at the moment. So maybe that wouldn’t be the smartest idea. Your team decided on the last few dates of the tour instead of flying from place to place only, when necessary, of course, they decided to hire a tour bus for you all to stay on for the trek back to California.

So, as you all pulled into a random town to fill the bus up on gas and just take a break from driving. You decided to walk around the random town and explore a little, you were living in your own little bubble with your headphones on looking into random shop windows when one caused you to stop in your tracks. That’s when you saw Leigh’s book on display in the front window, you couldn’t lie you teared up slightly at the sight of her book and her name in big writing…your emotions may have been heightened due to not talking to her.

On instinct, you took out your phone to take a picture and send it to her. As soon as the picture is sent you internally cursed yourself as you remembered you two weren’t exactly on speaking terms. But as you stood there deep in thought a wild thought came to mind as you ran across the road and ran into the shop. You didn’t even bother looking around the store, you walked straight up to the cashier. “Hi there, I’d like to buy every single copy that you have of Sorry for Your Loss by Leigh Shaw.” You don’t blame the cashier for looking at you weirdly he nodded slowly as he started typing something up. “You must really need help with your grief if you’re buying every single copy of it that we have.”

You nodded slightly and chuckled “yeah sure let’s go with that buddy.” Since the cashier was searching something up you decided to text your team the address of where you were because there was no way in hell you were getting back to the bus with all those books.

When the cashier, your team and you finally finished loading the books onto the bus. You walked back into pay “Also just so you know Jordan, I wasn’t buying every single book because I’m struggling with grief. I’m buying them because I’m being a supportive partner and supporting mine in her career endeavours.” It was then the cashier realized who you were “holy shit.” but before he could say or do anything else you were gone.

As you got on the bus and looked at all the books you couldn’t help but laugh, you knew you had to send a picture to Leigh no matter what, you knew it would make her smile. You stared at the screen as the picture was sent waiting to see if you would get any sort of response from her. Needless to say, you were shocked when you saw her send heart and kissy-face emojis to you. It may not have been much, but it was something and it was better than nothing.

It was the night of your final performance, and you were freaking the fuck out for some reason. You had never been so nervous about a show before. I mean there was a possibility of it being due to the fact you were performing in your home state…though you’ve performed here before maybe it’s due to a bigger crowd. It was just something you couldn’t shake but you knew it would all be okay once you were out there. You had gotten a text from Leigh earlier in the day wishing you good luck and that she knew you were going to kill it. So that helped eased you ever so slightly.

You were in the middle of your set on stage when you started hearing cheers and screaming though you were doing nothing. You squinted out looking at the crowd as you took out one of your in-ears. You brought the mic up to your mouth as you spoke “guys, hey what's going on out there? Do y’all need water or something?”

You received an overwhelming collective “NO!” Back to you.

You laughed “Okay, okay so what’s going on fill me in on your little secrets.” you groaned ever so slightly as you sat down at the edge of the stage. You then heard a chant starting with a name of a person you adored. “LEIGH, LEIGH, LEIGH, LEIGH.”

You laughed and shook your head “yeah guys I know, I know. Go Leigh and well done for everything she’s achieved so far but sadly she isn’t here tonight.” However, that didn’t stop the chanting, if anything it only got louder. You rolled your eyes and pointed your mic out at the crowd. “Do you guys want me to start singing again, I mean that is what you all are here for isn’t it?” They answered with yet another no. You started humming a random tune into the mic as your eyes scanned the crowd as you noticed weird movement happening out there. You squinted and pursed your lips as you examined the area. You nearly dropped your mic at what you saw next.

You stared out into the crowd wide-eyed and mouth agape as you saw Leigh basically being escorted to the front of the pit by all of your fans as they all started chanting Leigh again. You leaned down towards the security as you explained to them who that woman was and to help her over the barrier as smoothly as possible. Which didn’t go smoothly at all, she stood in the space between the stage and the crowd looking up at you. You held your hand out wordlessly inviting her up on the stage with you. Leigh instantly shook her head and exclaimed “Are you crazy I’m not going up there.” You rolled your eyes as you jumped down off the stage and threw her over your shoulder as you got back into the stage. With Leigh clinging onto you for dear life and screaming in your ear. As you got back onto the stage you leaned forward trying to get your breath back as Leigh slapped you slightly “excuse me I am not that heavy, that’s all muscle!”

You nodded your head “I know, I know.” One of the crew members ran on stage with a spare mic for Leigh to use as you both spoke. You laughed “okay this concert has taken a very different turn tonight guys I’m sorry.” All you got was a cheer in response, you rolled your eyes.

“Okay first off Leigh, how are you here?”

Leigh grimaced “I uh… I cut my book tour short the dates are getting rescheduled don’t worry but um I needed a break from doing all that. But mostly the reason why I am here is that I missed you too much and I honestly think I was going a bit crazy not being around you as often as I used to be.” You smiled softly at her and gazed at her lovingly as she continued to speak “and you know more than anyone how I was acting and it just…it wasn’t right- and there you go with that look again. The one I’ve only seen once before and that was over facetime.”

God this is either going to be a really stupid idea or it’s going to be a really smart one. “Uhhh…one second Leigh. Hey guys!” you shout out into the crowd, the response you get back is a bunch of cheers. You laugh at the situation you’re in right now “Do you guys think you could sing to Leigh for a moment whilst I go grab something from backstage really quick?” Before you know it, they started singing Green Eyes, you turn towards Leigh quickly and place a quick kiss on her lips before you run off backstage to grab what you needed.

You run back on stage as you walk towards Leigh and pull her towards you to stand up. You take a deep breath in as you slowly get down on one knee Leigh stares at you wide-eyed. You place the mics down on the floor knowing thousands of people didn’t near to hear your personal love declaration.

“Leigh Shaw, my partner, the love of my life, the thorn in my side. I know this whole situation between us probably has been going on for years and we didn’t even know it. You really are the love of my life, I wrote a song about it years ago when I thought I had lost you for good. Unsurprisingly called Love of My Life. But I am truly so sick and tired of life and time passing us by so quickly, time and ourselves have ruined years of love and happiness we could’ve been spending and giving it to each other. And this time apart has only solidified that although maybe it all panned out this way for a reason. But Leigh Shaw, I want to spend the rest of my life with you however long that may be. Before I ask you one of the most important questions, I will ever ask, I have a little fact for you. Only 2% of the population has green eyes. I don’t wanna be with anyone else who is in that percentage, you Leigh Shaw are the only person from that percentage that I wanna be with and write songs about till the day I die. So, Leigh Shaw will you please marry me?”

As you stared at Leigh you saw the stream of tears rolling down her face as she smiles at you and nods rapidly “of course I will, I’d be stupid not to after everything you’ve done for me and everything we’ve been through.” You stand up as Leigh wraps her arms around your neck embracing in a long-overdue kiss. You both get brought back to where you actually are as you hear the cheers you pull back slightly as you slowly put the ring on Leigh’s finger. You bend down to pick up the mics Leigh whispers “finish your concert, I’ll be right backstage or at the side listening and watching you.” You let out a breath as you kiss her on final time before you carry on with your show.

After you finally finish your concert you and Leigh are walking back to the tour bus as she stares at the ring “when did you even get this, when did you even have the time to get this?”

You laugh as you kiss the side of her temple “Oh Leigh, Hun I’ve had that ring for months. Remember that time when I came in from work and you first told me about wanting to write a book?” Leigh nods slowly as she recalls that memory “Yeah…. well remember I was adamant on bringing my bag upstairs even though I claimed it was just my music stuff?” Leigh nods again as she sends you a glare and hums. “Yeah well, I’ve had it since around then.”

Leigh scoffs and pinches your side “you're a jerk-” Leigh pauses as she looks down at the ring again “but it’s beautiful, pretty and everything in between so it’s okay.” When you both finally reach the tour bus and sit down you both simultaneously let out a groan. You turn Leigh’s head to look at you by grabbing her chin with your thumb and index finger. “I love you, Leigh Shaw.”

Leigh grins and gazes at you in adoration “I love you too Y/N Y/L/N.” You both place your foreheads against one another as you place a loving kiss on each other's lips.

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